Requiem of the Goddess

by Yoshiyuki Ly

Goddess of mind, goddess of heart - closed-off without consent, She cannot flourish; unlocked to the universe in trust and control, She protects from all outside influences. Only one sits atop the throne of Shepard's subjectivity. Ashley/FemShep, Liara/FemShep. Miranda/FemShep, Aria/FemShep. Power plays, intense loves. Renegon Infiltrator FemShep. Spans the Mass Effect Trilogy.

15. Survivor

"To Fire and Sword" (Holminster Switch) from Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

XV. Survivor

(Shepard)

Revving of the Mako's engines, and we were on our way.

Racing down the Normandy's gangway and out to the shallow sea water over our path, we drove onto Virmire's surface, heading to the salarian camp. Winding through these paths in between lush rock formations, I sat in this seat near the back of the rover, remembering the sights from outside: that humid, tropical terrain, with the sea crashing against the rocks along the shores. Sounds of thunder crashing; near-violet rain clouds darkening the early morning sky; sparks of purple lightning flashing across those clouds, the sky itself.

We needed to disable the anti-aircraft guns not too far away—they were in the way of Joker getting the ship safely over to the camp.

Needing to prove himself for the mission, Wrex had volunteered to drive the Mako for us in place of Kaidan, who used to always drive us before. So far, Wrex kept us on track, dodging the hostile geth units in our way as he navigated these watery paths. Liara stood nearest to him, holding onto the overhead railing, supervising his sobriety. Adjacent to me, Tali and Garrus sat together on the seat facing the doors, quiet and focused between the occasional rattle and shaking of the truck along the road.

Ashley sat next to me, close by. Upon Wrex's suggestion, I had recently upgraded her heavy armor to the colossus set: dull sheen of an all-black plating with bold, red undertones crossing through for better maneuverability. Top-of-the-line damage protection and shield ratings, I trusted that she could handle just about anything this mission threw at her.

And I would need her to, considering my new tactical plans with Ashley as my second-in-command.

I did worry about her on a personal level: sitting here with me, she was so quiet, and not like Garrus and Tali nearby. Ashley seemed to have a lot on her mind, staring down at my combat boots and the pants of my stealth suit. I decided to wait until she looked at me directly before asking about this.

In the meantime, Liara turned her head, finding me here.

I'd also sensed a real gravity pulling her down, ever since she and the others returned after shore leave.

Making eye contact through that gravity, I smiled at Liara anyway, loving and caring for her so.

To my relief, she smiled back—only a little, yet still sincere, and brimming with her own love for me.

And so much more relief: that we were still close like this, no matter what.

Liara supported me on this path, still promising not to give up on me… Though at this point, giving up on me wasn't about fighting to have me to herself. Not that. Not directly. She already knew what we had—this unspoken relationship, implicit. This protection she provided was what kept me open, kept me genuine and present with my emotions. Without her, I would've gone back to my old habits, or worse.

I knew that Ashley knew this; and I also knew that it had nothing to do with her troubles today.

She had made it clear that she needed me to be faithful to her, and yet this hadn't crossed that line.

Of course I still wanted Liara, sexually—all the time we had spent in San Diego had tempted me so much. But I had made the decision to not go there with her. Not unless something changed. Because there was no way I could only have her once and get it out of my system. We were way past that.

I did appreciate that Ashley chose not to hold this against me after arguing so much about it before.

I supposed it was our unexpressed compromise over her changing the rules for this game. She let me have this other mental, emotional attachment so long as it didn't get in the way of how I felt about her. I was confident that it wouldn't, and that it never would. She trusted me; she trusted my confidence.

Still, Ashley's lack of confidence today kept me anxious for her, aching for her.

For as long as I had been staring at her without realizing it, she finally looked back at me.

I had noticed before during the mission briefing that the side of Ashley's face was slightly red. As much of an airhead as she was at times, I'd assumed that she had merely hit herself with something while rushing to get back to the ship last night. But now, in this lighting here in the Mako, I somehow noticed something else: her lower lip was scarred, a little down to her skin. Like she had busted her lip open somehow, and then applied medi-gel to the wound—this thick, transparent scar remained.

I held her chin, tilting Ashley's head from side to side as I surveyed her in concern.

She wouldn't meet my eyes as I did this.

"What happened here?" I asked, soft enough to let the juddering sounds of the Mako cover our conversation from the others. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Ashley nodded, downcast. "I'll be fine… Don't worry about it."

"Okay, then," I accepted, checking the rest of her face now. "But you have to know that I care, Ash. I'm not going to stop worrying about you, either. Why do you seem so down today?" Everything else about her looked fine, down to the exact locations of each small, spaced out spots of dark brown over her skin that I'd memorized in my obsessions with her. "Did you not get enough sleep last night? Is that it?"

"After I ate, I was out like a light," whispered Ashley, blushing over the reason: "You know why…"

Heartwarming, I remembered how she could've fallen asleep right afterward with me, on the roof of the 94, in my spot, my perch away from the rest of the world. I had given her most of myself, holding back that last of me. I regretted how I had let my fears get in the way…but there was nothing I could do now.

If she wasn't physically hurt, if she wasn't tired, and if she wasn't upset with me, then what was wrong?

All of a sudden, the Mako took a sharp turn—way too sharp.

Cursing and sputtering in the driver's seat, Wrex lost control of the vehicle—

Right away, I cradled Ashley's head and held her tight, shielding her body with my own—bracing for impact:

Swerving around to keep dodging those geth, Wrex swerved too much, flipping us all over. This fucking rover crashed on its side, thrashing us around in here—gripping each other now, belated, Tali and Garrus' backs rammed against their seats, their heads nearly snapping from their necks even from the short whiplash; Liara used her biotics to float herself through the madness; Wrex did the same with his powers, only delayed from how hungover he was, still!

Fighting these physics, I used my own augmentations to protect Ashley while she held onto me.

Our shields just barely kept us safe from the initial crash, before I remembered my landing system.

Piece of shit!

Leaning over on the side of the watery road, we all had to crawl up through the door and outside.

Out here in this humid breeze, we all gathered near the Mako beneath those dark violet rain clouds. Arms folded, I glared down at this shimmering water just beneath my boots, finding Ashley's reflection there as she sighed in irritation. Garrus and Tali both seemed to want to say something, frustrated, but they chose not to, seeing as we were all unharmed. Liara stood farthest away from the group, seething.

None of us said a word to Wrex, who suffered our silence in silence, already knowing what to do.

By himself, Wrex used his brute strength to flip the truck back on its wheels properly, steel creaking in noise over the sounds of the nearby sea crashing against the wet, glistening rocks in this weather.

Once the Mako was situated again, we all got back inside, taking our same seats.

Without me needing to ask, Liara drove this time.

Wrex stood next to her, holding the overhead railing; hanging his head in shame.

We continued on to the AA guns in our way of the salarian camp.

During the remainder of this drive, I seriously considered tossing Wrex back onto the ship once we made it to the camp with the Normandy. He was lucky he was so damn strong. We would likely need him on this mission, so I couldn't tell him to fuck off, as much as I wanted to.

Reaching the first gated compound with the guns, Liara stopped the Mako just nearby. The rover's shields held up against the onslaught of geth outside—we had to take them out and push forward to get upstairs above the gate, disable the AA guns, and get the gate open so we could continue driving ahead.

Restarting in earnest, stronger this time—the mission was on again:

"Ashley, head out first and draw their fire!" I ordered. "We'll cover you!"

"Aye, aye, Commander!" she complied, readying her assault rifle.

Bursting out from the Mako, Ashley's shields shrugged off the pulsing fire from the geth surrounding us. She opened fire, firing back with her full concentration, earlier worries forgotten. Before I could even give my next order, she had already taken out a good number of the geth in our way. Collapsing as piles of metal to the shallow waters, their headlights dimmed and their mechanical stutter-sounds fell silent, one after another, one after the other.

I gestured anyway for the rest of the team to head out, to bolster Ashley's firing power.

Everyone went one at a time, helping her take down the geth out here near the gates in our way. More than anyone else, I noticed Liara's increased power and aggression today: firing off singularity fields and exploding them back to back on her own. I couldn't help noticing just how much she had improved over these months since we first recruited her. And I sensed she still had the potential for even greater things.

By the time I made it out the truck myself, all the geth platforms down here were done with.

"All right, people, let's head upstairs!" I directed. "Ashley, you take point! Everyone push through the last of these geth in our way! We need to get those AA guns down and open this gate!"

"I'm on it!" answered Ashley, heading up first.

Up the stairs at the top of this roofed compound, I stayed behind at first. While Tali, Wrex, Liara, and Garrus supported Ashley with their gunfire, and their tech and biotic powers, tearing through these other geth, I glanced around. The geth had charged out here to deal with us all at once. Behind them, I could see the glowing blue control panels for the gun. I figured the gate controls had to be in there, too.

Cloaking to invisibility, I moved in silence past the team, past these gigantic geth destroyers charging past me, so mindless.

Reaching the unguarded room, I found the AA controls next to a generator. Still invisible—just in case—I deactivated the overhead guns. Nearby, I found those gate controls, too, and took care of them. Slight shaking from the compound, I felt the heavy weight of the gates rise up and out of our way.

Joker confirmed via radio, "Good work, shore party—looks like the grid is down. Heading over to the salarian camp now."

I responded, "Copy that, Joker."

"Oh," said Garrus, realizing now what I'd done. "There must be a ghost in here, doing our work for us…"

Tali humored him, "Yes, the only friendly ghost who would be so kind to do this—I think it's nearby."

Ashley also caught on late: "No wonder… I should've guessed. Well, we're ready to move, Commander."

I returned to the team, finding them surrounded by the geth platforms crumpled there on the ground.

Uncloaking, I nodded to everyone, leading the way back downstairs to the Mako.

Back in the rover, Liara drove again, getting us to the next gate in our way.

We repeated the same: taking out the geth in the immediate area, before heading upstairs.

While the group took down the geth around us, I cloaked once more, using the gate controls to move this last obstacle in our path.

As we drove through the final stretch, Joker contacted us again: "Uh, Commander, I made it to the camp, but it looks like the ship's grounded. The salarian captain can explain more when you get here."

Not liking the sound of that, I replied, "Noted. I'll find out what's going on."

Finally at the beachside camp, we parked the Mako right at the entrance.

Overhead clouds of violet darkened to black, this gray lens around us gloomed the mood here at camp. Spread-out tents wide open to this heated, humid air, I saw a decent number of salarians pacing around the pearl white shore, fully-armored. And only a decent number—these were Salarian Special Tasks Group members, some of the most skilled infiltrators in the galaxy, running thin on numbers. I had followed their work closely during my own training, like their counterterrorism and espionage efforts, admiring how effective they were at 'quietly' dealing with all sorts of problems, no matter the cost.

Seeing just how thin their ranks were with my own eyes, it was no wonder the Council had sent us to support them.

My team found their own places across the camp—in the various tents, outside on the sands, or closer to the vibrant blue of the sea water brushing along the shore:

Tali and Ashley chatted together not too far from the closest tent. Garrus took in the sights as he stood along the beach, staring out to the grassy rock formations across the way, and the lightning flashing through the rain clouds. Liara wandered farthest away, again, retreating inside the tent way over there. Wrex was somewhere close by to me, as if expecting me to scold him for his terrible driving earlier.

There was no point, really. We had all made it here in one piece.

Finding what looked like the salarian captain, I approached him.

"Commander Shepard?" he inquired. "I'm Captain Kirrahe. Third Infiltration Regiment, STG. It's an honor to meet you at last. Your infiltration tactics and accomplishments on Torfan are legend among us. Truly, your Spectre status is well-deserved."

"Captain," I obliged, shaking his hand. "Thanks for the kind words. What's the situation here?"

"More immediate: while we appreciate having your ship here, every single AA gun has now been alerted to our presence. We're in the middle of a hotzone. However, we appear to be fine for the time being, so I cannot complain too much. We are still coming up with a plan of action. Are you our reinforcements?"

"We are," I answered. "I understand that you asked the Council for a fleet. They weren't able to provide you with those resources, considering the sensitive nature of the mission. I'm the only Spectre on Saren's trail; they sent me here with my team to support you. This'll have to be enough."

Kirrahe sighed. "I see," he replied. "Well, Commander, as you said, this will indeed have to be enough. I trust your skills, as well as your team by association. And we don't have time to wait much longer. I'm losing men by the minute, whether by death or by enemy capture. This has to end—quickly—otherwise our efforts here will have all been for nothing."

"Agreed. What've you discovered so far?"

"We have found Saren's base of operations," said Kirrahe. "A research facility. But it is crawling with geth and very well-fortified. Saren is breeding an army of krogan. Those experiments have gotten loose past here, and they're tearing my men apart. We haven't been able to get anywhere near the facility."

Wrex pushed his way over to us, asking, "An army of krogan? Breeding? How's that possible?"

"Saren has apparently found a cure for the genophage. Such an army at his side has proven to be quite dangerous. We need to put a stop to this—we must destroy this base along with all of its secrets."

"Why the hell would you do that?! Those secrets are valuable to the krogan! If there's a cure for the genophage here, then my people need it! This could save us! End our suffering once and for all!"

Kirrahe disagreed, nonchalant, "That is hardly our concern right now. It would be a disastrous mistake if any of these krogan somehow moved off-world. In greater numbers, they would be unstoppable. That is exactly what Saren wants. We cannot allow that to happen. Please, be reasonable about this."

Getting in Kirrahe's face, Wrex jabbed at him, snarling—

"We are not a mistake! We did the galaxy's dirty work by wiping out the rachni! And then what did the Council do?! They honored us by committing genocide on my brothers and sisters, our kin and brood! Neutered and desperate, stillbirths everywhere: broken families and crying mothers, all because of you fucking salarians and turians needing to control us! I won't stand for this anymore, you hear me?!"

Wrex then stormed off to the other side of the beach, stomping past the team as he went.

Tali, Ashley, and Garrus stared after him; Liara emerged from her tent on that same far end, observing.

"Commander, is he going to be a problem?" worried Kirrahe. "My men are already on-edge because of the angry krogan outside of here. The last thing we need is to have one in our camp."

I frowned, blaming myself for this.

I shouldn't have trusted Wrex's assessment on his state of mind.

I should have left him back on the ship, regardless of how much we needed him today.

But I couldn't let Captain Kirrahe—or the team—find out about my doubts, my worries, my concerns.

Especially not with Wrex venting off his aggressions like this: standing at the shoreline, he fired off his shotgun in the distance, one shot at a time. Booming shots blasting, echoing, those harsh sounds nearly cracked through my ears from the wide, snapping reverberations.

"I'll deal with him," I said. "If Wrex won't calm down, then I'll do whatever's necessary for the mission."

Kirrahe seemed satisfied with that. "Good," he accepted. "My people and I need to finalize our plan of action to take out the facility. I wish you luck with your krogan team member. We will leave you to it."

Walking over to Wrex at that shoreline, I realized the full extent of my dilemma here, punctured more by the sounds of his shotgun blasting heat off in the near-distance, resounding up to the rainclouds:

Why I had spent so much time and energy shielding myself;

Trying not to care about the team;

Trying to isolate myself, to make sure I could remain impartial at times like these.

Interrupting these realizations, Ashley reached my side, following after me.

"Commander, wait!" she tried. I kept walking through this sand, onward. "Shepard, you can't do this. Wrex is still hungover from last night! He's not thinking clearly right now—"

"—I know that."

"Then why are you going to talk to him?" questioned Ashley. "Can't we just—leave him here?! Or wait a while until he cools off? Maybe he'll listen to reason later on… Much, much later on."

"And have Wrex tear apart the salarians instead? That's not happening. What kind of leader would I be if I allowed that?"

She justified, "Better them than you, Skipper…"

"I made the choice to bring him here, Ash. Now let me deal with the consequences."

Ashley went quiet at that.

She kept on following me as I neared Wrex, here by the sea.

Mid-shot, Wrex stopped, turning to face me. His gnarled scowl, his hateful eyes beaming at me in full crimson, his facial scars somehow digging deeper into his skin: I fully understood what to expect here.

Smelling rain in the air, I stopped here with those expectations, wearing them over my chest with honor.

"This isn't right, Shepard," growled Wrex. "If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it!" I said nothing in response, staring at him with hardened eyes; he walked closer, scowling more. "What's this, huh? Trying to psych me out? Scare me into backing down? You're a fool if you think I'll bow down to you… I joined this team because you made me believe. Made me believe there was more to life, more to this galaxy than fighting for credits! I've found that meaning I believed in, right here with this cure! Now you want to get rid of it because it's inconvenient! That's the worst kind of betrayal!"

Ashley remained somewhere behind me; out of the corner of my eye, Liara watched, not too far away.

Paper-thin as this glass cannon, I stood before Wrex, before his mounting anger, keeping my honor.

Stepping right up to me, Wrex sneered in my face, his breath smelling of alcohol, of Ryncol, still.

"You're pissing me off, kid," he chastised. "Where's that famous diplomacy of yours…? Why're you just standing there, staring at me? You're still a warrior, aren't you!? Then you'd better act like it!"

Wrex drew his shotgun, aiming it at my chest.

I remained still, unguarded.

At the same time, Ashley pulled out her pistol, aiming it at his head.

"Drop the weapon, Wrex!" she shouted. "Drop your weapon or I'll shoot!"

Keeping his gun pointed at me, Wrex chuckled. "I'm not surprised you'd turn on me, Chief," he remarked. "Picking sides, you'll choose the one you love over anyone else, any day. That's exactly what I'm doing—for the krogan, for my people. No harm in that! Now why don't you drop your weapon?"

Cold, emotionless, Ashley mocked him, "I don't think so, friend."

Wrex laughed louder, high to the skies.

"We're friends, all right!" he derided. "But this isn't about you and me. Shepard's my problem, not you."

"You made me your problem the second you drew your gun on her. I don't care who you are, Wrex—if you won't fall in line and stay loyal to the commander, then you're dead to me. Don't test my patience!"

Right when Wrex looked like he was about to aim his gun at Ashley instead, I intervened:

Outstretching my arm in front of her, I said, "Ashley, let me handle this. I don't want you involved."

Eyes narrowing in confusion, Wrex kept his weapon pointed at me.

Ashley fought back, "Commander, he won't listen to reason! I can't risk anything happening to you—!"

Deliberate, so deliberate, I faced her, turning my back to Wrex, completely.

Well-aware of what I risked, so very aware, I neared Ashley with this awareness: how she widened her eyes at me in her disbelief, in her swelling fears. I intercepted her pistol, pushing her aim down and out of the way. She kept her gun at her side, hand trembling. She kept her eyes to mine, holding on to me through her sight, second by second; needing to suffocate me herself if these were our last moments.

Fully expecting my back to fill with pellets of heat from Wrex's shotgun, I hardened my order:

"Gunnery Chief Williams, drop your weapon and stand down."

Locked eyes, locked and loaded, Ashley lowered her pistol with the quaking of her hand.

Bending her knees, she moved in a feeble reluctance.

She dropped her gun to the sand.

Leaving her that way, I turned back around, and went to Wrex, directly to him.

I made sure to return as I was: his shotgun aimed right at my chest.

Visibly unnerved, almost trembling as much as Ashley behind me, Wrex could only stare back.

Hollowed eyes, with Liara still gaping at me in my periphery—I understood what I had to do here.

Somewhere farther behind me, I felt Tali fearing for me, already crying behind her mask. Her raw emotions reached me, fully fortifying my heart: I found my resolve to do what I needed to do.

I grabbed the length of Wrex's gun, pulling it into me, pressing it here over my heart. Breathing harder, he glanced down at his weapon, and then back up at me; down and back, and down and behind me and back up again.

"Shoot me, Wrex," I told him, point-blank. "If that's what you really want to do, then do it." When Wrex could only keep staring at me, bewildered, I gripped the barrel of his gun harder, jabbing myself. "Shoot me, take the cure, and turn your people into those same mindless slaves. Go down in history as the reckless fool from Clan Urdnot who turned the krogan into Saren's puppets, all because he couldn't control his emotions or hold his liquor."

Unnerved, unnerved; Ashley stopped herself from sobbing; Wrex stared into death in my eyes, finding my history, and all I had seen. He found me practically undead in the face of his centuries of experience.

"Kill me—if you have the quads to do it."

Accepting his only answer, Wrex loosened his grip over his gun.

I loosened my grip as well.

Lowering his head, Wrex lowered his weapon, first, before holstering it behind him.

Ashley breathed out her reprieve, choking back her own emotions for the final time.

Shameful as he spoke, Wrex recalled, "I remember what you told me, Shepard… Months ago, back when I first joined you on the Citadel: going after Fist, you told me to use my head before I fire my gun. I told you that I would, and that I'd follow you. I should've remembered sooner… I don't say this often, if at all—but I respect you. You've done more for me than my own family ever did. So…I'm sorry."

"You didn't have all of your faculties," I reasoned. "That was on me. Have you calmed down now?"

"Yeah… You've made your point, loud and clear. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. You earned my loyalty long ago. I'd better act like it from now on."

I offered my hand, letting him know that I had already forgiven him.

Grinning, Wrex clapped my hand with his, firm with his renewed friendship and loyalty.

"Just one thing," he added. "When we find Saren, I want his head."

"Of course, Wrex."

Wrex nodded to me, before going over to Ashley next.

"Sorry to you, too, Chief," he expressed. "I messed up back there. You're a real friend of mine. Hope you can forgive me for the shit I said, for what I did. If not, well, I'll understand…"

Setting her pistol away, Ashley caught her breath at last. "It's okay, Wrex," she allowed. "You stood down; you remembered your loyalties. That was all I wanted. Thanks—for putting the commander first."

Wrex smirked, joking, "Couldn't upset the clan chief like that, now could I?"

Ashley managed to laugh with him over what I guessed was their inside joke.

Clan chief?

I let them have their moment, anyway, returning to the tent where Captain Kirrahe was.

Everyone soon followed after me.

On the way, Tali, Garrus, Liara, and Ashley: all of them shared lighter words with Wrex in reconciliation.

I let myself feel relieved, too, glad that the confrontation hadn't ended how I'd expected it to.

Maybe my honor was a good luck charm.

Out of everyone in the group, though, I felt someone in particular looking at me. I turned around, finding everyone still chatting with Wrex—except for Tali. In this lighting, I could see the brights of her eyes behind her mask. Maybe shaped in worry. Maybe shaped in concern. Worry and concern for me.

After that confrontation, I didn't blame her for feeling this way.

I nodded to Tali, reassuring her that I was all right. Glad that she cared this much about me.

In response, those brights lifted: Tali seemed to smile at me, returning my nod. Glad that I was okay.

Finding the captain again, he looked glad to see me, with my team unharmed as well.

"I'm glad you've returned in one piece, Commander," said Kirrahe. "You have a knack for diplomacy."

"We're past that now," I told him, needing to move on. "Any word on our plan of attack?"

"Yes, we've decided—we will turn our ship's drive core into a bomb to destroy the base. We will need to place it in the best possible location for a precise hit. Your ship can drop the bomb off at the breeding facility. But we will need to go in on foot, disable the additional AA guns, and get rid of any ground units in our way. It will have to be a straight fight through. It is unavoidable at this point."

My favorite tactic. Wonderful.

The team lightened up more behind me, sensing my distaste for this.

"It can't be helped, then," I settled. "Any ideas on how you want to organize this run?"

Kirrahe explained: "I'll have my teams hit the front of the facility to draw the enemy's attention. Your 'Shadow' team will infiltrate from the back and get to the breeding facility as the rendezvous point. Once the bomb is on-site, place it next to the geothermal taps, then get out before it detonates. My teams will escape and try to get out of the blast radius. Also, please accept this copy of the facility's schematics. This will help you find your way to the rendezvous point. I'll upload it to your omni-tool."

"Sounds good," I replied, accepting the transfer from his omni-tool to mine. "Do you need anything from me, or are we ready to head out?"

"Actually, I do have a favor to ask. I will need one of your team members to help with the frontal assault. My men and I may be woefully unmatched against the onslaught awaiting us. We are prepared to sacrifice ourselves if necessary, but I would much rather we not throw our lives away before ensuring that the mission is a success. Even one person from your team could certainly improve our odds."

Turning to glance at my team, once, I asked the captain, "What makes you so sure about this?"

"Commander, the answer is quite clear," insisted Kirrahe. "My men are skilled, dedicated, but our numbers are waning. We have lost many comrades, many friends over the course of this mission. Our morale is low. I will do what I can to rekindle their fighting spirit, though I cannot make up for the rest. Having at least one person among us who trusts you will go a long way."

"Makes sense. Is there anyone in particular that you need? Certain skills you're looking for?"

"Ideally someone powerful who is comfortable handling large groups of enemies at once. There will be a large number of geth and krogan in our way. So we will be better suited with someone who can quickly eliminate those enemies, or someone who can survive long enough to eventually take them down."

Facing everyone again, I looked to them one by one, considering each of them:

Wrex was automatically out of the running. We had all forgiven him, but I couldn't take that chance.

Garrus was more methodical in his fighting, like I was, just without the cloak. So he was a no-go.

Tali was an expert against the geth, but those krogan… I didn't want to put her in harm's way like that.

And so that left either Ashley or Liara to send with Captain Kirrahe's people.

Going by his description of the type of person he needed, they both sounded perfect for the job. Ashley could definitely withstand a frontal assault like this, and I trusted her to survive long enough to take out anything in her way. Liara was best at crowd control and eliminating large groups quickly—and she was in an aggressive mood today, which had proved to only be a benefit for us so far. She didn't have Ashley's survivability, but in a situation like this, that wasn't necessary.

Liara could overpower those groups of enemies while protecting Kirrahe's teams, all at the same time.

Sensing my choice, she smiled at me with her acceptance.

Turning back to the captain once more, I made my decision: "You can take Liara with you. I'm betting your teams could benefit the most from her biotics. She's a powerhouse—you'll need her for this."

Kirrahe nodded. "Absolutely, Commander," he approved. "Dr. T'Soni will make a fine addition to our teams. I am sure our chances of surviving have vastly improved. Thank you for your generosity. We will leave our radios on to ensure that you are able to track our progress with her by our side. Only I will be the one giving out orders to your teammate—no one else. You needn't worry."

"And what happens if you and I give conflicting orders, Captain?"

"Well, then, we will have to rely on T'Soni to make a choice. Hopefully, the right choice for us all."

Looking to Liara, I knew that I trusted her. I wasn't worried.

"Now, Commander," said Kirrahe. "If you'll excuse me, I need to address my men."

He made his way over to one of the other tents, speaking with one of his officers first.

Seeing her off now, Tali gave Liara a brief hug, wishing her luck. Wrex and Garrus offered words of encouragement, promising that we would all see Liara again once the mission was over. Ashley only watched their exchanges from nearby, as if she wanted to say something to her, but could not.

Everyone except for Liara then headed over to join the large group of salarians, waiting for Kirrahe.

Liara and I stayed here in silence for a moment. We shared this feeling together: if something went wrong, then this could have been our last conversation.

I asked her, "Will you be all right, going with them?"

"Yes, Shepard," replied Liara. "I will be fine. Your reasons for choosing me were sound. As always."

I looked to Kirrahe standing before his men, giving a rousing speech to everyone there:

"You all know the mission, and what is at stake. I have come to trust each of you with my life—but I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage; we would be legends, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way."

Liara regarded me in understanding, knowing the words I couldn't say: my unspoken priorities.

She smiled at me.

Still, I caught a bit of melancholy there.

"What's the matter?" I wondered. Liara shook her head, eyes nearly welling with tears dulled by the gloomy clouds above. "Hey, talk to me… What is it? Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that."

Sniffling her emotions back, Liara shared, "When Wrex confronted you, I knew what you intended to do. Taking responsibility for your choices like that… Still, I knew that you would succeed, and so I did not intervene. You would have disapproved anyway. On the off-chance that Wrex was on the verge of firing his gun, then I had a stasis field prepared for him. I wouldn't have allowed you to die. Not for anything."

"Somewhere, I think I knew that."

"Well, I only wanted to make sure you knew for certain…"

I noticed this vibe about her—"Was there something else you wanted to say?"

Kirrahe was still in the middle of his speech, walking back and forth in front of the crowd there: his people, his soldiers, and my team somewhere in the middle, all of them taking in the moment.

"Think of our heroes: the Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot. Or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts. These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are."

A little shy, Liara hesitated, staring down at my boots.

She then enflamed her hands in that biotic blue, settling her soothing touch over my face.

Smooth as this fetish, calming as this pacifier of mine: Liara only gave me this feeling. This reminder of our bond, if not outright sharing a memory with me this time. From this emotion she gave me by her hands alone, by her biotics here, I felt all of my worries leave me, helping me focus more for the mission.

Liara whispered to me, "I love you, Shepard. I love you so very much…"

"I love you, too, Liara," I expressed, smiling at her.

When she ended her touch, dissolving her powers as normal, her shyness returned.

There was more. So much more, but she wouldn't tell me.

"Hey, we still have some time," I coaxed. "What is it?"

Liara looked deep into my eyes, pulling out something from my hidden emotions, "No matter how thoroughly I search, I cannot seem to find the answer to this question of mine. I must ask you directly: why is it that you feel I am the 'one who got away' from you?"

Realizing that she was right—that I did feel this way—I could only stare at her.

She went on, "You are the one who already wanted another woman before me. You are the one who made the decision to be with her. And I am not going anywhere. Despite everything, you always have the choice of returning to me whenever you please. I still want you to, in fact. You know this. So, why?"

"Before the network, there was the fleet. Before diplomacy, there were soldiers!"

Flashes of remembrance, to when I went through so much loss growing up: losing my friends, losing my home, losing my way of life, losing everyone I knew to drugs and gang violence; and then, again, with my relationships as an adult, losing every woman in my life to my own decisions, destroying them from my distance, or giving up on them once my resentments began to cloud whatever I felt in my heart.

This feeling of loss with Liara was related to that…but not quite the same.

Losing someone I had never had: that sudden, knee-jerk reaction I'd had when Liara had told me we couldn't have a relationship back then.

I tried to explain, "I just feel like…if the circumstances had been different, then you and I would have been together freely. No problems, no issues. No one else. But that's not what happened. I guess, deep down, I dwell on that sometimes. I think about what-ifs. You are the one who got away from me."

"There is something more to this," noticed Liara. "Far more."

I reached as deep into my own perception as I could this time: "You have to know that I'm terrified of losing you. I don't get this feeling with anyone else. I'm not worried about it with other people. Not to this extent… Yeah, we have our bond, and that stabilizes me. I'm not sure…why I feel so strongly about keeping you close to me like this. I'm in a relationship with someone else. It isn't fair to you."

"This is no longer about fairness, Shepard," she reasoned. "We are not in rational territory anymore. Rationally, you know that I will always love and support you. I truly enjoy that you are in love with me in this selfish way. Unconsciously, I seem to have latched onto a part of you that no normal person could ever reach. And it is very beautiful to me. I only wonder why your fears continue to linger this strongly."

"I don't know, Liara… Like I mentioned, I only feel this way with you. Everything else you said is spot-on."

The last of Kirrahe's rallying words:

"Our influence stopped the rachni, but before that, we held the line! Our influence stopped the krogan, but before that, we held the line!"

The last of our stolen time together.

Liara frowned over something. Something else, something separate. Something that wasn't entirely related to me—not directly. Something that I had been trying to get at all this time, in asking her to speak freely with me. Even from before today. I sensed that this was an old problem, festering in her, and it had finally blown up to the surface, causing this newfound aggression in her combat abilities.

Whatever this was, it was personal for her.

But as Kirrahe finished his speech, Liara only looked to me, fearful and uncertain.

"Our influence will stop Saren; in the battle today, we will hold the line!"

Supportive, I set my hand on her shoulder, smiling over how much of a sweetheart she was to me.

"I trust you, Liara. Completely. I promise you'll always be in this special, precious place here with me. I'm not ashamed of that. So do your best out there with the salarians. Do whatever it takes to make it back home to me—whatever's necessary. I'll see you soon, okay?"

Liara smiled back at me as much as she could. And that was enough, for now, until I could see her again.

---

Pushing onward to Saren's research facility, I followed behind my remaining team: Ashley taking point, with Garrus, Tali, and Wrex just behind her. Rushing through these shallow waterways in between these cliffs and rocky crags, we made our way through these sandy compounds littered with geth and pissed off krogan experiments. Having to take out those experiments pissed me off just as much, reminding me of Wrex's pain: but he was reasonable enough to not let this get to him, fighting with his rage instead.

Listening to the radio chatter from Kirrahe and his men, I split my focus between my own shooting and keeping up with their progress with the frontal assault. From the sounds of it, they had things well under control—they formed a wall around Liara, giving her plenty of room to take out the hostiles in their way before anyone could get too hurt. She was their ace.

Cloaking to scout on my own, I took out the geth defenses here, crippling their coordination together.

Cloaking for the power boost, I was free to snipe from this distance while the others moved ahead: taking out the geth's long-range units before they could get to Ashley, or stopping those krogan mid-charge before they could rush her flank. Or in general, I picked off anyone or anything that was about to catch one of my people off-guard, as I had a much better view of the field from way back here.

The booming kickback from my sniper rifle ricocheting through these sandy valleys seemed to make my team fight harder, knowing that I had their backs.

So much so that Ashley smiled as I cloaked past her to disable some more of those defenses: a geth transmitter lodged here in the sand. She followed me with her eyes as I did this, catching the glimmer of my invisibility from the cloudy light of the day. I could tell she was in a much better mood from earlier.

Proving me right, Ashley made such a random comment in kid-like joy, "Nothing like a nice, relaxing stroll on the beach…blasting bad guys with my boomstick!"

I shook my head in amusement.

Wrex bellowed with laughter, rushing ahead to slam another geth out of our way.

Garrus puzzled, "Chief, what does that even mean? Your…boomstick?"

"You know, my gun!" said Ashley, holding up her big Lancer assault rifle.

"This is the strangest thing I've heard you say," noted Tali. "And you have said many strange things."

Knowing my reaction without seeing a thing, Ashley still told me, "Sorry, I'll be serious now."

"Mm-hmm, sure you will," I allowed.

Ashley just smiled again, continuing forward.

Unseen, I smiled with her, following behind.

We soon reached the main facility, taking out more geth and more krogan in our way. Winding paths of concrete and long bridges sitting over the waterways here, we hurried along, running and gunning our way through. Without as much room to snipe anymore, I switched to my pistol, firing off headshots. Wrex and Ashley excelled more here, making better use of this chance for close-quarters combat. Tali hacked any geth still left over, making them shoot at another instead of us, while Garrus stripped their shields and finished off anything he could find at medium-range.

As useless as I felt right now, I had to accept that this wasn't my time to shine.

At the back entrance to the building, Tali reached the security panel to unlock the doors for us.

"Shepard, I can disable the alarms on the doors," she said. "It looks like I can also set the alarms off on the far-side of the base. That will make things easier for us, but Captain Kirrahe and Liara will have more security guards to deal with on their end. What should we do?"

"Just disable the alarms here," I decided. "They have enough to worry about."

"Okay, disabling them now."

Glow of the door controls along the wall, from red to green, and we headed inside the building.

Such a large room with too many crates and too much cargo, and not enough room to maneuver—these geth juggernauts charging at us everywhere nearly threw me off. I hated having to cloak and hide like this just to protect myself, sometimes waiting for the others to gun down the worst out of my way. Either no one noticed my frustrations or they chose not to say anything, focused on moving ahead.

We took an elevator up one floor, following the directions through my omni-tool.

Passing an overhead landing here inside, I saw a number of prison cells lined up below us. One person for each cell, I spotted some salarians there—some of them standing still, their fists against the glass; others screaming as they convulsed around, ramming their hands against the glass to try and break their way out, to no avail.

In our path, we found some of those same anguished salarians, attacking us in their twisted agony.

Kirrahe had mentioned that he'd lost some of his men to enemy capture…

Ashley didn't hesitate: she gunned them down, expecting the others to follow suit.

They did so, more disturbed than they had been when facing those angry krogan experiments.

Seething more, I finished off anything in reach with my pistol, guiding us ahead.

Another elevator up to the genophage labs filled with pods, terminals, and medical equipment—here we found a krogan and asari doctor surrounded by those same husks from Eden Prime, all of them rushing at us at once. Ashley guarded me closely, destroying anything that moved. Wrex took out the krogan and asari doctors himself, firing his shotgun into their faces. Garrus and Tali cleaned up the rest.

Trying to push away my revulsion with these damned experiments, I led everyone back outside.

More paths over the water, with the sky's overcast still not letting up: we got rid of these last geth in front of us before reaching the wide room leading to Saren's private lab.

Hiding under a table by the open view of the skies, I saw an asari scientist cowering over there.

Rifle drawn, Ashley walked ahead, right toward her.

The asari suddenly stood, begging, "Wait, don't shoot! I'm unarmed, see? I just want to get out of here!"

Standing next to Ashley, I gestured for her to hold off for now.

She set her rifle away—for now.

"Who are you?" I asked the scientist. "And what the hell are you doing here?"

"My name is Rana!" she cried. "Rana Thanoptis… I'm a neurospecialist, and this job isn't worth dying over—or worse… I've seen enough from the indoctrination effects around here. Saren thinks he's safe, but it's only a matter of time. Sovereign will get to him eventually. The data so far is indisputable."

"The data? You mean you were working here in these labs? Studying indoctrination?"

Rana glanced at my sidearm along my hip, and shuddered to respond, "Yes… Yes, that's correct. That ship Sovereign emits a signal—an indoctrination signal. Virtually undetectable. Saren uses that signal to his advantage, influencing the people who follow him, controlling them with it. He's afraid that he'll fall victim to the indoctrination himself. So, he sent us here to study the effects, hoping to find a solution to the problem… Apparently there already is a solution, but it is 'out of his reach'. He wouldn't say why."

I glanced to what looked like an access card in her pocket, asking, "Do you have any information on this existing solution? The one that's out of Saren's reach? I might know what it is."

"Unfortunately, I don't…"

"Then what did you find out instead?"

"We were only here to study the signal itself," she clarified. "It is a subtle, insidious corruption of the mind. More than a signal, it's an energy field directly from the ship that changes thought patterns. Steadily, over time, your will begins to weaken. Should the ship exert more control, you will become a mindless slave. We understand that this field is strongest when Sovereign feels threatened, somehow."

"And you discovered all of this by conducting brutal experiments on helpless test subjects."

Rana tried to defend her actions, "Yes, yes, but—I only did what I was told!" Trembling before my unforgiving glare, she tried to negotiate with me, to save her own ass, so pitiful: "Here, let me redeem myself! I can give you access to Saren's private labs. All of his files, all of his secrets—"

"—that doesn't make up for what you did here. Nothing will."

Pleading with me in her fucked up justifications: "I didn't have a choice! I'm sorry!"

I'd heard it all before.

Too many times before.

Aiming my pistol right between her fearful eyes, I made myself clear, "Sorry doesn't help your victims."

I executed her point-blank.

Kneeling down to her corpse bleeding out from her head, I took that access card for myself.

My team followed me to the nearby elevator, stepping over that violet blood pooling out, everywhere.

The access card worked, letting us in. We took the remaining elevators, following the path to where they led. No one said a word, though I felt their shared thoughts, their remembrance: this other solution to resisting Reaper indoctrination, and how I'd accidentally found it for myself while dealing with the Thorian. I'd had no need to confirm as much out loud, but they all knew that this was all linked, just as Liara had shared with me in the Temple of Athame not long ago.

Nearing our destination, Ashley in particular watched me with a somber sense of foreboding.

I couldn't understand how I knew this, yet I felt her troubles—how she viewed herself as expendable in this coming battle, much like her initial apprehensions over being my second-in-command.

Maybe even expendable in my heart, next to someone else with more real-world importance.

I wanted to say something to Ashley about this, but now wasn't the time for that kind of sentimentality.

Reaching this enclosed space of the lab, I didn't immediately see anything here worth hiding. A long platform in the center, windows along the far wall gazing out to the sea: no terminals, no files or books sitting around.

Halfway down the nearby ramp, Ashley pointed out, "Commander, there's another beacon here. Like the one on Eden Prime. Definitely looks the same. It's pretty hard to forget…"

That pale Prothean green emitting from the base, like a noxious gas, and glowing over the control panel:

The similarities were undeniable. This must have been one of Saren's so-called secrets here in this lab.

Not wanting to take any risks, Wrex, Garrus, and Tali remained right where they were.

I headed down the ramp, setting my hand over Ashley's shoulder, saying to her, "Stay here this time."

She lowered her head in understanding.

Walking past her, I went over to the beacon, preparing myself.

Interacting with the beacon's control panel, I gave into this familiar loss of control: lifting me up from the ground, and this searing pain in my head, these enflamed sights before my eyes continued from that same vision I saw on Eden Prime. These images of anguish, from the Protheans, from their destruction; the chopped-up screeching and tearing against the walls of my mind, clawing at me with the same desperation from the Protheans in their helplessness, as if begging me to save them; and this close-up of such a specific planet burning black through these flames, eclipsed from my full view and understanding.

More than that, I felt a true connection to the Protheans this time, as if I knew them. As if the threads binding our existences together were actually tangible, surrounding my will and my mind both. Linked through our shared, collective unconscious, I understood the Protheans' physiology as a whole, as a species, able to intuit their emotions: their distress, their defenses, and their desperation to survive.

On the surface of this planet filled with vegetation and magnificent stone architecture, I watched as pairs of people gripped one another through their destruction: their minds in-tact, safe from indoctrination, they still fell to the overwhelming force of the violence casting them down, no matter their mental defenses.

Still, no matter how much I understood them, it wasn't enough.

No better off than before, the beacon let me go. I gripped my head, having somehow survived this round without passing out, unlike last time. Still in-tact, the Prothean beacon remained there in near-uselessness, as it hadn't shown me much more that I could actually make sense of.

I just wanted to get the hell out of here and move on to the rendezvous point for the bomb.

But a new, glowing red panel atop the ramp caught my eye, at the end of that center platform.

Observing me to make sure that I was all right, my team followed me to the panel.

Coming to life, a large, red, translucent figure appeared there, shaped a lot like that Reaper ship we had seen flying off from Eden Prime: short, claw-like arms protruding from the side of its sharp, tall, towering form. I could never forget it. This Reaper ship could have only been Sovereign itself, staring back at us with eyes we couldn't see, judging us with a mind we couldn't grasp.

I used my omni-tool to record this, sensing the potential here for posterity.

Calculating, systematic, monotone, as if its every word was an unquestionable statement of fact—Sovereign's voice resounded through my entire being, "You are not Saren. Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance. Incapable of understanding."

Ashley didn't remember the same from Eden Prime: "What the hell is this…? Is it a VI interface?"

Tali reasoned, "I don't think this is a VI…"

"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign."

"This is Saren's ship," I noted, holding onto my awareness. "Remember, Sovereign is an actual Reaper."

"Reaper: a label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply—are."

Wrex recalled, "The Protheans were wiped out 50,000 years ago! How'd you survive after all this time?"

"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. An accident. Your lives are measured in years, and decades. You wither, and die. We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

Ashley fought back, "Whatever your plan is, it's going to fail! We'll make sure of that."

"Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken."

"Cycle?" asked Garrus, anxious. "What cycle?"

"The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays—they merely found them. The legacy of my kind."

I had to know, "Why would you construct the mass relays, then leave them for someone else to find?"

"Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."

"They're harvesting us!" agonized Tali. "Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!"

"Where did you come from?" I asked. "Who built you?"

"We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure. We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

"What do you want from us? Slaves, resources?"

"My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation. Independent. Free of all weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."

Right as Sovereign said that, I spotted a change about its form.

Somewhere up top, near what I imagined was its 'head' or its 'mind', I saw a large opening of some kind. That extra space there glowed the same pale green from the Prothean beacon below, blinking, and notifying me of its existence. It did this as if in direct defiance of Sovereign's claims: the last gasp of hope from the ones who tried before, now letting me stand on their shoulders, over the ashes of their efforts.

Judging by everyone else's non-reactions, I was the only one who could see this.

Testing this for myself, I challenged, "Are you sure about that? Free of all weakness?"

Sovereign paused.

It hesitated.

Reacting this time, Ashley, Garrus, Tali, and Wrex behind me all exchanged looks with one another.

They felt the weight of my questions, of my challenge, and of Sovereign's silence. Even if they couldn't see this added weak point there in the ship's glowing red form, they could at least see my determination. Even if they couldn't sense the same, they were each loyal to me in their own ways, choosing to believe in my intuition alongside me.

I wouldn't say something like this unless I had proof—direct facts before my eyes.

"Human: you speak with impudence beyond your conscious perception. The power strengthening your will is…adequate. Such infantile desperation in the one who elevates you as an organic god. Imperfect, variable, fallible—you are incapable of ascending to those ingenuous beliefs. As with the Protheans, your defenses born from this child will not endure our control. Our influence is infinite. Before us, your mind will falter, and you will fall. You cannot breach us; you cannot comprehend us. It is inexorable."

"I doubt that," I sneered. "You do have a weakness. Whatever it is, we'll find it and put you down! If we can do that, then we don't need to comprehend you. We can study you just fine once you're destroyed."

Sovereign paused again.

It hesitated, again.

And then it continued on, as if uninterrupted:

"Your words are as empty as your future. Even should you succeed, our legacy will impose your submission, and the cycle will continue. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over."

Powerful winds, and the windows over the wall blew out, shattering from the blast. Blaring of an obnoxious noise outside, so egotistical—somewhere out there, a gigantic force lifted from Virmire's surface, taking to the skies in hubris and narcissism.

Scrambling to cut off this recording, I looked to the others, making sure they were all right. Aside from shielding their faces with their arms, protecting themselves from the flying glass, everyone seemed fine.

I felt this change in me, though.

Or at least, the beginning of one—the beginning of a continuation, somehow, and one that had started in me some months ago. It was that sense of honor in me, mending my imperfections, my variability, and my fallibility, if not outright ridding me of them and turning me into something I wasn't. No, I still felt like me. I was just more aware of these powers strengthening me, elevating me, at least for this moment, before they receded way back into my mind, out of my perception and my reach.

Joker called us, "Commander, you need to get the hell out of there! That ship Sovereign is on the move!"

"We hear you, Joker," I responded, barely pulling myself out of my thoughts.

At my side already, Ashley looked to me, asking, "Orders, Commander?"

I told everyone, "Time to get to the breeding facility. We have to take out the next AA turret in the way. Then Joker can get the ship to the rendezvous point with the nuke. Let's move out!"

---

Continuing on with the mission—leaving Saren's lab, and hurrying over to disable that AA gun—I still felt acutely aware of this change in me. Somehow, having Sovereign acknowledge my ability to resist its indoctrination made me that much more aware of my potential, as strange and unusual as it was. I wasn't entirely convinced that it was even possible at all. Hell, even resisting the Thorian had seemed more like a fluke than anything.

But now I had both Shiala, and Sovereign telling me that it was possible to pull that off again.

Possible: my power was adequate in the face of a Reaper. It was possible for me to actually resist its indoctrination head-on. It was possible for my will to insulate me from that control, since I was already under someone else's protection. And no matter how comparatively weak this protection was, compared to a Reaper, this power of mine worked as a singular expression of trust and faith. I was still myself, but elevated by that exchange of trust. This belief could have really carried me through, no matter how superior the enemy was.

Facing down that superiority with only a hope and a wish—it sounded completely insane to me.

But Saren must have believed in this same capability, otherwise he wouldn't have tried so hard to kidnap Liara on Therum that day. He was so much closer to Sovereign than I was; closer to the Reapers than anyone in the galaxy. If he was confident about this, too, then that spoke for itself.

Liara…

I hoped she was all right with Captain Kirrahe and his men.

Technically, I knew that she was just fine—I still listened in to the radio chatter with the salarians, letting us know that they had taken out the AA gun on their end of the facility, and now Joker was all-clear to meet us at the rendezvous point. But on an emotional level, I sensed that same fear and uncertainty from Liara, separate from the mission. She was all the way on the other side of this place, separated by an impossible drop over a huge body of water, and yet I continued to feel this sharpness about her.

And I worried about the biggest problem. Bigger than Sovereign, bigger than even its superiority—

One mind, one master.

Just one. Not two, not more. I only had one mind. I could only have one 'master'. I already had one.

Only one person could be in here in my head, sharing this intimate space and elevating me, otherwise…

Heading through the shallow waters of the breeding trench, my team and I reached a large, heavy gate. Past this gate, we finally reached drop point for the bomb. More water beneath our feet, and a spread of fortified space between two heavy walls, filled with gas tanks primed to explode. And this stubborn, miserable view of the sky, and of how it refused to rain: I stared up at that drear as we waited for the Normandy to get here with the nuke, waiting to proceed.

Tali, Wrex, and Garrus took the moment to chat together, cooling down after this long stretch of fighting, with only that conversation with Sovereign breaking up the pace before. Oblivious, they knew nothing of all that continued to plague my thoughts—Shiala, Sovereign, Saren, Liara, the Thorian. They could rest easy, believing that Sovereign's threats were simply beyond their comprehension.

Standing alone next to the geothermal taps rising as a tall barrier, Ashley stared off at nothing. Lost in her thoughts, I knew that Feros was on her mind, that Shiala was on her mind. She had been present during that conversation with Liara and me, down in the Thorian's empty lair. And though she'd had little reason to suspect anything, I was certain that Ashley had put two and two together by now. She knew enough about what was at stake here, even though Saren was our primary concern right now.

Gentle sounds of water shifting beneath me—I went over to Ashley, standing just behind her. She wouldn't face me. She wouldn't let me see her pain, not even during these brief moments of respite.

So I asked her, "How are you feeling, Ash?"

Blunt, matter-of-fact: "Expendable, Sir."

Mission or no mission, my heart sank, listening to her say that. The way she tried to keep her emotions out of this made everything worse for me. I felt her many resentments clogging her throat, too, reminding her of how mortal she was, so to speak. At least compared to other people, other things.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered. "We have some time."

Ashley deepened her voice, her intentions—"I've never felt as small as I do right now. Insignificant. Like it's all out of my control. Like there's nothing I can do to change things. No matter how strongly I feel about you, it's…meaningless."

"I don't think that's true."

"Shepard, you don't have to spare my feelings. Of course it's true. We're going to have to face this one way or another. We can't keep putting it off forever."

"I know that," I replied. "I know…"

Controlling herself, Ashley swallowed back the worst of her impulses: the hurtful words I felt salting the tip of her tongue, the memory of my lips over hers as an open wound right now.

Still, she needed to know where we stood together.

Turning to look at me in earnest, Ashley asked, "Are you going to break up with me over this…?"

"No," I told her, firm. "I'm not doing that."

"Not now, anyway… You're going to have to eventually. It's inevitable. It's for the galaxy—our duty."

I had to be honest with her: "Ashley, you mean more to me than anything. Absolutely anything. I'm not throwing you away, no matter how meaningless you think you are! You're not expendable. You're not insignificant, either. I've never felt this way about anyone before. You are my heart. You have to know that…"

The weight of her misery pushed down on me as she touched my face, ran her gloved hand through my hair. Black of her armor, dulled in this day's dull, dull light, her spirit had blunted, her soul had crested.

"I'm not your mind," said Ashley, so simple in that weight. "You have to know that, too. And by this point…there's nothing I can do to fight it. It's already there, already decided. I can't compete with that."

Keeping myself together, I knew the answer already—"Are you going to leave me, then? Is that it?"

Cynical, Ashley managed to smirk at me. "No… You're going to have to be the one to push me away. Of course, I know what I said here. I know what I meant. I know how powerless I am in this situation. But I'm telling you now, Shepard: I'm way too selfish to let you go. I'd rather suffer this madness with you than to dare leave your side. I wasn't sure if you would let me do that, considering…everything, I guess."

"Then let me be selfish, too, babe," I entreated. "Last night was the most meaningful, transcendent experience of my life. So I'm not letting you go; I'm not letting you walk away from me. That's that."

"…you make it sound like you'll hold on to me regardless of the consequences."

Hearing those approaching sounds of the Normandy's engines, feeling that long shadow eclipse our moment here—I knew that now was the time to uncloak, even partially. I had held back from actually telling her this before. And I still wanted to, even now, if only to somehow keep protecting myself. With this limited time, I couldn't keep waxing and waning about this. I needed to find a compromise here.

Listening to the same sounds, seeing that same shadow behind me, Ashley watched me with eyes uncertain as I decided this. Uncertain, but still needing so much more from me, as I needed from her.

I brought up my omni-tool, typing in the original words, showing her the translation:

Te amo.

I love you.

This glow of orange over her wide, welling eyes: Ashley knew, and had already known. Now she had her confirmation. Despite my terrible timing, and despite my persisting silence, she knew for certain.

Stealing this last moment, I indulged myself in her lips, salted on the outside this time. Only a little. Only in this brief time we still had. Yet with her, every moment felt as an eternity. An impossible eternity that I never wanted to end, uninterrupted by the rest of our lives, by our duty. This eternity with her, too, meant far more to me than anything I could conceive, anything I could think to express without her.

Stealing these seconds, Ashley whispered through me, her determination renewed, "I love you, too… So much. You're a living, breathing miracle. I'm going to keep believing in us. Even if it is meaningless. Even if this ends the way I keep worrying about…I can't give up on you. Not for anything."

Stroking her face dry once more, I smiled with my own hopes. "That sounds more like the Ash I know."

Ashley smiled back at me, so beautiful and full of life, exactly as I adored.

Despite our terrible timing, again, Ashley touched my face, taking me in—as selfish as she was, as masochistic as she was—before switching gears as needed. I then watched her go, leaving to the ship and leaving my side for now, for now, to help the crew bring out that bomb the salarians had prepared.

I stared back up at the cloudy sky again, hoping to find some kind of answers somewhere up there.

But all I found staring back at me as this singular answer…was my honor, again. The same blind devotion in my own beliefs, my own convictions that could have gotten me killed during my confrontation with Wrex earlier. The same fear-defying justifications I had made to care about my team, even at arm's length in this way, as the only compromise I could come up with—instead of running away, as usual.

Honor, faith, a wing and a prayer: all normally so fragile, I felt them fortifying me instead, reassuring.

Everything would somehow work out without me needing to do anything. Not exactly. Not really.

I wasn't certain how I knew any of this, but I decided to believe anyway.

This was better than running, better than worrying about everything that was way beyond my control.

Finding my focus again, I watched as Ashley and a few of our crew carried the bomb over here. Sizable, makeshift from the salarians' drive core, they were careful to set it down atop the water, here next to those geothermal taps. Joker took off with the Normandy, getting out of range of the additional AA guns that had been out of our reach. He would return to us once it was time to escape the nuke.

The crew then proceeded to brief Ashley on the bomb's sequencing for detonation, direct from Captain Kirrahe's instructions.

She was my second-in-command—it only made sense that she should be the one to do this.

Kirrahe's nearly-panicked voice came through our radios, along with the sounds of gunfire and biotics: "Commander, my team and I are still here with T'Soni—we're holding, but the geth have us pinned down at the AA tower! I'm not confident that we'll be able to reach the rendezvous point in time!"

I hurried to respond, "Copy that, Captain. Do you need reinforcements to help you escape?"

"Yes, we could certainly use the help! I'll send you our coordinates now. We are near the front of the facility, directly across from your location at the breeding grounds. If we could make the jump across these high walls, we would do so, but I fear we would only fall to the waters below!"

"Sounds like too much of a risk," I reasoned. "We'll make our way around and get to you as soon as we can. Just hold on."

"Understood, Commander—we are in your debt!"

After the call ended, Ashley approached me again. "I should stay here, then," she figured. "I'll need a few minutes to finish arming the nuke, anyway. Go ahead and get Liara and the salarians."

Such a strange feeling I sensed through this would-be certainty.

But I didn't have time to linger here—I had to take the rest of the team to help Liara and the others.

"What is it?" worried Ashley.

I set my hand over her shoulder, serious in my meaning: "Griffons never die."

She smiled at me in nostalgia, repeating back: "Griffons never die."

I held on to that smile of hers as I left the area with Tali, Garrus, and Wrex, propelling me forward.

Hurrying through these shallow waters, across these many long paths, I felt my heart about to beat out of my chest, and not from the exercise.

Directionless, almost, even though I knew exactly where to go: I had surrendered to this out-of-control feeling already. I had given in to the idea that I didn't have to worry, or stress out, or keep running anymore. So small and insignificant, no matter my power, I felt myself running into the eye of my own storm, a hurricane of my own making, as oblivious as I was today. Yet I couldn't dwell on it, because we had to get to Liara. I couldn't worry about this, either, because we had to get to her, and then get the hell off this planet to escape the bomb's blast.

We ran all the way across to the other side of the facility, the far side.

Almost to Kirrahe's location, almost to where Liara was with her temporary team of salarians.

Almost there, and then—

Joker called us, "Oh, crap, Commander—shit's hitting the fan! I'm picking up a giant geth ship headed to the rendezvous point! Ashley's the only one there with the bomb!"

I stopped in my tracks.

Locking up, I couldn't move, couldn't feel my limbs anymore.

Garrus, Tali, and Wrex caught up to me, heaving for breath and listening in.

Ashley's voice sounded through, "I'm pinned down by the geth! Guarding the bomb as best as I can, but it's already armed! We have to get out of here soon!"

Relieved that she was still all right, I asked her, "Ash, can you hold out until we get back?"

"Yes, Commander! I'm taking cover behind these geothermal taps and gunning down any tin can that gets too close! I'm taking hits. Doesn't matter, though. I'll hold the line until you get here!"

Tali pointed out in concern, "Shepard, we won't be able to help Captain Kirrahe and Liara escape, and get back to Ashley in time… Not with that bomb ticking down."

"Tali's right," agreed Garrus, somber. "Ashley's tough, but I'm concerned she won't be able to pull this off. It took us a while to get over here in the first place. Liara and the salarians still need our help. Even if we manage to save the others and then run back, I'm worried Chief won't make it… It's too big a risk—we'll all end up nuked from orbit if we don't decide what to do here."

Wrex sighed. "Yeah, this is some shit," he muttered. "Unless you can pull off a miracle, Shepard, we're gonna have to leave one of them behind. Damn, this hurts like hell…"

Closing my eyes, clamping down on my own shaking, my own sickness building in my stomach—

I forced myself to a calm, blocking everything else out.

Blocking it out, finding this quiet, finding the only answer—the same one that I had prepared for earlier, sharing with Liara in trust unspoken:

"Liara," I called to her. "Are you there?"

She responded back to me, sounding safe from all the gunfire everywhere, "Yes, Shepard, I am here! It is…difficult to focus on your decision out here on the field. What are your orders?"

Feeling the team's pained eyes on me, I asked her, "Is there any kind of opening for you to escape?"

"Well…yes, I suppose there is—"

Captain Kirrahe interrupted—"Commander Shepard, did I hear you correctly? She cannot abandon us! Without T'Soni, my men and I are as good as dead! Our survival depends on her! We need you to help us evacuate! It is simply impossible for us to make it out on our own before the bomb detonates! Now please, belay that order, and I will simply pretend I misheard you—"

"—Liara, retreat. Get the hell out of there, and hurry to the rendezvous point."

Kirrahe tried again—"Dr. T'Soni, my men have families to return to! They have friends back on Sur'Kesh, the Citadel, our colonies! You must reconsider!"

"Captain…I am sorry," decided Liara. "I must do as Shepard asks. This is a conflict of interest, I know. I will have to leave you and the others behind…" Part of the line disconnected; Kirrahe removed himself from our radio frequency. "Commander, there isn't time to talk now. I will retreat to the bomb site. Please go on ahead—I will make it there on my own."

"Are you sure, Liara? I just sent Kirrahe and his people to die. I have to know you're going to make it."

"Yes, Shepard, I am sure," she reassured me, fully confident.

Ignoring the rest of the team's astonished looks for now, I gave my next order, "Ashley, radio Joker, and tell him to meet us back at the bomb site. Are you still able to hold on?"

Pushing back her own shock over my decision, Ashley responded over those pulsing rifles, "I'm… I'm holding! You don't have to rush to get back here—you'll only tire yourselves out. I can keep going!"

"Understood. We'll see you soon."

"Yes, Sir!"

Once the call ended, I finally regarded everyone else.

Tali, Wrex, Garrus: they could hardly believe what I had done.

Hard-edged, I justified, "I'm not leaving Ashley or Liara behind. Not for anything. Does anyone have a problem with that?"

They each found their agreement, if not all at the same time.

Tali told me, "I don't think I could have done it myself… But, for Liara's sake, it was the right choice."

"Agreed," replied Wrex. "It was a tough call. Liara's more important than those salarians. Even if they are STG."

Trusting me, Garrus added, "They knew what they signed up for. Might be best to just not think about it." Sighing the last of his surprise away, he suggested, "Chief said she can hold out. She sounded mostly fine. And I think we're still pretty beat from the run over here. Think we can fast-walk our way back?"

"Yes, we'll go at a half-run this time," I settled, heading back with everyone. "Let's get back to Ashley, take out those geth while we wait for Liara if necessary, and then get the hell off of this planet."

---

(Liara)

My bond with Shepard continued to ring true, untainted and in perfect harmony with me, so melodic.

But this, this one thing—I had had enough. And not in black or white: in perfect color, free as the skies.

And those skies above continued to gloom, to doom this environment to a perpetual daylight darkness.

At the very back of the steadily-dwindling line of salarians, Captain Kirrahe stood before me. Behind him, his men held the line against the geth, but only barely. Without my biotic strikes, they fell one by one, screaming in agony as they collapsed to the ground.

At our side, a long drop awaited off of the end of this fortified wall, down to the deep waters below.

Across from this wall, and those waters, were the lower walls of the breeding facility, where the geth attacked Ashley right at this moment—where she defended herself, alone, firing back at the relentless onslaught there, somehow holding her own when she should have been dead by now.

Sending me off, Kirrahe shared his dismal words, "I should have known it would come down to this. We relied on you too heavily. Commander Shepard's ruthlessness is second-to-none in this galaxy, especially when she covers it with a veneer of honor and dignity. Your leader is not worth this sacrifice."

"I am sorry, Captain," I repeated. "To me, Shepard is worth any sacrifice. You must understand."

"No, that won't be necessary," he insisted. "There is no need for me to understand. I will die out here, and your only course to retreat is to jump across these walls to the other side. We will both perish."

Kirrahe wasn't interested in anything else I had to say. Not really. He only cared to argue.

However callous this was, I didn't have time for this.

Stepping back, facing him, I said my final goodbyes: "Good luck, Captain Kirrahe. I wish you and your men a safe retreat, or an early victory. Whichever comes first."

He watched me go for a moment with eyes aggrieved, before leaving to defend his soldiers to the last; to die with them, inevitably, as they now had no way to escape the blast from the bomb.

Only once Kirrahe was a safe distance away did I run off, too.

Closer to the edge of this wall.

Closer to the drop of this fall.

Already winded from having expended so much of my energies thus far, I had to be careful.

But, aside from taking the long way around, and possibly dying to the geth on my own, this was my only option.

Nearly losing my nerve, I made up my mind about this—about the rest, about everything.

Activating my biotics for support, I took a few steps back first for the extra momentum.

Running forward, pushing myself forward: I jumped across this space.

Forcing my powers to aid in this extra floating, I defied what should have been impossible, improbable.

Landing hard, I reached the other side. Rooting myself here with my biotics, I stood atop the wall, catching my breath. From here, I had a blocked view of the geth shooting in this direction, on the ground—blocked by these geothermal taps, I looked down directly below me for a better view:

There was Ashley, sitting upon the ground, there in the thin waters. Still alive. Still going.

Taking cover next to the taps, she protected the bomb with her body, firing her assault rifle at any geth who were about to near her. She gunned them down with a strained sort of ease, pushing herself, pushing herself. Pushing herself so much, that her left hand began to falter as she fired her weapon, needing to use her right hand more to compensate for her injuries. Her legs pelleted with gunfire, she could not stand back up, forced to continue sitting in place as she fought for her life.

As exhausted as I was, my biotic reserves dwindling, I had no choice but to do this.

I had once again run out of options, other paths…

My patience could hold no more.

I muted my radio, and pushed onward.

Floating downward, behind the geothermal taps, I soon reached the watery ground.

Hearing me, Ashley turned her head, spotting me here.

"Hey, Liara!" she called, forcing herself to not sound as winded as she was. "Glad you made it in time!"

Too focused on shooting the geth in front of her, Ashley could do no more than acknowledge me. Somehow, she began to fight harder, now, watching as I took a few steps ahead of these taps. She couldn't know how I had suddenly appeared here, but to her, it didn't matter—she had my extra support in this moment, and that was all that mattered to her.

Once she had destroyed the geth nearest to us, I stared down the others in the distance, the sheer number of them there.

Pushing my biotics even more, I extended my arms outward. Conjuring a protective field, I expanded the spherical bubble out as far as I could, past the large gates nearby. The field stopped all incoming fire from reaching us, keeping us shielded here—for as long as the rest of my powers could hold, at least.

Catching her breath, Ashley allowed her wounds to get the best of her. Safe now, her adrenaline began to wear off: she winced and grunted in pain. In that same adrenaline earlier, she had overestimated her odds when reassuring the others that she could hold the line here. I saw the truth for myself, how feeble she was now, how vulnerable she was now: no longer able to lift her rifle, the injuries in her arms and legs had left her defenseless. She relied on me completely for shelter, for security here in my bubble.

The geth outside my barrier continued to fire at us, pointlessly so. As tired and beaten down as I was, needing to restore my energies soon, I could hold on for this. I could certainly hold on for this.

I approached Ashley on the ground, staring down at her.

Still heaving for breath, she doubled over before me.

Bleeding out from her armor, her shields had at last failed her. They could recharge no more.

Bleeding out, but still holding.

She could indulge me in this conversation first.

Breathing a bit steadier now, Ashley mumbled, "Thanks… Didn't think you'd do something like this for me—you know, after what I did to you last night… I'm still sorry. But Shepard and the others are on their way back. And Joker…should be here soon with the ship. Think your barrier can hold until then…?"

That bomb ticking down beside her.

My own tolerances had ticked and ticked away already.

"Liara?" asked Ashley, finally looking up at me, so oblivious. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you worried about the bomb…? If you are, it's okay… We…we still have time… It'll be fine—"

I pulled my pistol from my hip.

Aiming my gun between her eyes, Ashley could but stare at me, staring up this span.

Trembling, disbelieving—no logic could reach her, no sense could reach her; no reactions; no defenses or fight-or-flight responses. All she could do…was sit there in that water, reddened in opacity by her blood. All she could do was look up at me like this, so small-minded and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

She found this familiar, calm coldness in my eyes, and in my voice, deadened and done.

Deadened and done.

"Ashley, I really don't know why you are this surprised. When we last spoke, I told you: when you next say another word to me, it will be game over. I was serious. I am not the type to bluff—not like you."

Stuttering in her powerlessness, "Y-You seriously planned on doing this…?"

"Eventually, yes," I confirmed. "Now is the perfect time. I simply couldn't reach you in time. You died here on Virmire, fighting with honor. No one will think otherwise."

Defenses broken, still, Ashley could only express her horrified awe, "Demons really do exist…"

"It doesn't matter what you wish to call me. You ought to know by now that I am past my limit. I am well beyond my tolerances with your audacity, your drama, your nerve and your insolence. You say things you do not mean, and you expect everyone to merely forgive you and move on. That isn't how it works. Not with me. Not with how far you overstepped, and how you are only destined to continue doing it."

"Liara… Liara, wait—wait! I left you alone… I-I was going to keep my mouth shut, stop provoking you—"

"—you are a fool if you think I'll believe that. My patience has run out. The patience of a thousand years, all burned and destroyed because of your recklessness… I hope you are proud of yourself, for once."

As soon as I was about to shoot my pistol, Ashley scrambled to her last resort.

As injured as she was, she could only reach for her radio—

Ashley cried out in helpless agony, "Shepard—!"

Having expected this, I fired at her left arm, her omni-tool arm.

Blood-curdling, Ashley screamed out in her sharp, sudden pain, doubling over.

Gripping her arm with her already-broken hand, she rocked herself there, crying out more; nearly about to sob in her torture, her anguish, her distress. More blood leaving her open wound, more blood pooling down the dull shine of her armor as red and black—I had disabled her radio, getting it out of my way.

Shepard responded anyway, "Ashley? Ashley! What happened? What's wrong?!" Ashley clearly could not answer; I remained quiet and on mute, watching and listening as she fought to keep from crying. "What the hell is going on over there, Ash!? Answer me, goddamnit!"

Terrified, Tali informed everyone, "I'm not picking up Ashley's omni-tool on this frequency anymore… She could have been seriously injured! We should hurry!"

Letting her emotions scrape through—"Fuck!"

Garrus encouraged her, "Commander, you push on ahead! You're faster than the rest of us combined! We'll catch up to you and get to the rendezvous point!"

"What he said!" decided Wrex. "Get moving, Shepard! Go get Chief and keep her safe!"

Ashley could still hear them through my radio, through even the sounds of her pain, lessening now.

Hissing her breaths in and out, in and out, her body began to tremble in a barely-controlled rage.

Control, restraint—qualities she could have certainly benefitted from before.

But it was far too late.

"I see you are beginning to resist now," I pointed out. "I thought you were done with this game?"

Forcing herself to look up at me once more, glaring, Ashley snarled back, "This is some twisted idea you have of a game, Liara… Kicking me while I'm already down. Using the situation to your advantage, like you'll actually get away with it… If you honestly had all of this in you before, last night, then I take back those fucking apologies I gave you."

I rolled my eyes. "Your apologies were empty and insincere regardless. I don't want or need them."

"Yeah, I know," sneered Ashley. "You only want and need Shepard—everyone else is expendable… I can't believe you'd do this to her. I can't believe you're this damned selfish and psychotic!"

"Shepard will grieve over you, I am sure. But her grief will not be enough to stop the galaxy. Not for you. Not for someone so trivial, so childish and vindictive. And then, one day, she will move on."

"She'll NEVER take you back, you demon! You monster!"

"Whether she takes me back or not is irrelevant right now." Aiming at her head. "I just want you gone."

About to pull.

About to fire.

About to execute her, point-blank, straight through this broken defiance in Ashley's stare: her eyes enflamed by fear, dark brown as the burning cinders of her pride.

Through that shattering, I saw such an acute image: of Shepard somewhere in a dark bedroom, with loud music playing outside the door, beyond the walls. Wherever this was, Shepard had curled into herself, a bottle of our Sauvignon Blanc wine sitting on the nightstand nearby. Collapsed in on herself, sobbing uncontrollably, she suffered her own breaking, her heart breaking, heartbroken as she cried there.

Crying like this…over Ashley?

"I trust you, Liara."

…

Blasts of biotics from outside my barrier brought my awareness back.

Turning to face this sudden threat, I extended my arms once more, pushing my energies, reinforcing.

Leaving myself vulnerable to Ashley behind me—it didn't matter, it didn't matter against this foe before us, because without me doing this, we both would have died, and she knew this.

That skeletal face, turian scales of a deathly gray, and those blue eyes at once hollow and determined:

Saren was there, hovering around on some mechanical device beneath his feet; fighting to tear down my defenses.

When he realized I wouldn't let him do this, Saren stopped his efforts. Staying in place atop his device, the geth around him had stopped firing. Still he continued to leer at me through this near-transparent blue of my barriers. Protecting myself, protecting Ashley from only the rain now: the skies had at last fallen in that emotion, giving in to the tragedy of the day.

"Such a waste, Dr. T'Soni," mocked Saren, calm and composed. "You have finally embraced your greatness, and yet you decided at the last minute to shun it again. I hope you are aware that you will get nowhere, should this continue… The hour of your irrelevance will never arrive, and you are rendered immune because of this. However, time is still precious. And you are only wasting it."

Fighting harder to maintain this barrier, I fired back, "I have nothing to say to you, Saren! Leave me be! You are only wasting your time!"

"Nonsense. Though I am pleased to see that your mother knew you well. Benezia had warned me well in advance that you would be uncooperative. It is a shame that you allowed her to die. Had you surrendered on Therum, she could have stayed alive. You and I could have achieved so much together!"

"You're insane if you believe for one moment that I would've gone along with your plans!"

Saren chuckled, arrogant. "Perhaps this is true," he allowed. "The Cipher you possess contains unquantifiable knowledge. You carry with you the Protheans' hopes and dreams, the generations of their experiences, their victories and their sacrifices—not only against the Reapers, but across all of their time, their entire evolution as a species! And they are the only ones who came anywhere near success in their endeavors to resist Reaper indoctrination. Had they succeeded, they could have been useful!"

"Why do you care to be useful to the Reapers?" I questioned. "They must be destroyed!"

"You are still misguided, I see," claimed Saren. "As incredible as your capabilities are, Liara, they cannot bring about the Reapers' destruction. Without a proper vessel, you can only resist their control. Nothing more. I have accepted this, and so should you. The Reapers' return is inevitable. And when they arrive, we will save more lives, more souls across this galaxy should we surrender, and submit to their rule. I needed you to ensure that I kept my mind in-tact during the invasion. You should have joined me."

"What, for you to force me into giving you these capabilities of mine?"

"Absolutely. You are certainly beautiful, intelligent, accomplished. We would have made a wonderful pair: you by my side, safe within Sovereign's embrace, while still free from its indoctrination."

Revolted, I shouted at him, "That isn't how it works! You could not force me, or anyone else into that arrangement! You need consent!"

Stunned, Saren only stared back at me, as if he had never considered such a thing.

He quickly collected himself, however, continuing on, "Regardless, I will find another way to maintain my awareness throughout the coming invasion. As our new leader, I will save more lives than have ever existed. Once we bow down to the Reapers, they will spare us." Saren spotted my contempt, and posed the mere hypothetical, "Is submission not preferable to extinction? Even you, Liara, have submitted to powers greater than yourself in your quest for salvation. The Conduit is the key to my own salvation. With it, I will ascend—and the offer will remain open, for you to join me, just as the geth have. After all, they view the Reapers as their god, as their salvation. Are we not all survivors, out to save ourselves—?"

Grandstanding interrupted, I saw but a flash of energy snipe against his barriers.

And that snipe stopped there—unable to penetrate, unable to break Saren's protections.

That booming ricocheted across the area, sounds dulled beneath the pouring rain.

Up above, atop the high wall over the gate, Shepard had shot at Saren with her sniper rifle. Her shot had connected—right near his head—and yet her efforts could not breach him, could not get through.

Frustrated, she could only glare at him, unable to do anything else.

Saren scowled at her, before lifting off on his floating device once more. He escaped, leaving off to the distance, and taking his last geth with him. Timely, so very timely: he disappeared around the corner just as the Normandy arrived, landing in hovering noise and length there before us, atop the body of water.

I dropped my barrier, trying to catch my breath.

Nearly spent, I somehow remained standing, the last of my kinetic barriers shielding me from the rain.

Shields glimmering in the same dry protections, Shepard vaulted over the wall. She dropped to the ground, to the water, her legs bending in that natural break of her fall. Running over here, she made eye contact with me—worried, terrified—finding that I was…fine. And so she set her hand over my shoulder, still keeping her momentum going as she hurried behind me.

Garrus, Wrex, and Tali emerged from the gate nearby, barely able to breathe from their sprint here.

Reaching Ashley now, Shepard knelt down to her with worries immeasurable.

Adrenaline dispensed, anger lost—Ashley had reverted back to that same, broken state. Moaning in pain; nearly about to cry as Shepard picked her up. Mild spills of blood falling from Ashley's body, mixed with the rainfall, Shepard paid it no mind. She didn't care, only caring about this one, singular thing: getting Ashley back aboard the ship, safely to the med bay. We all followed her to that end.

Following her, as the Normandy took off, away from Virmire, bomb exploding—consequences unending.