These hillbillies were brought to you from the disturbed mind of Rocker Baby! Much thanks to you and your scary mind!

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001. 2:15 A.M.

Nny's entry:

HOLY SHIT! Kentucky just got worse! About an hour after I killed that annoying cow, a mob of angry hicks stormed the RV! Fuck! It was AWFUL! They had pitchforks and torches and moonshine…! Oh man… They climbed all over the RV. One even got inside! Of course, he didn't last two minutes against me and my trusty twelve-inch blade. After I kicked his bloody corpse out the door, Blair hopped behind the wheel and floored it. I think it's safe to say none of us were standing after that. I- … hey, wait a minute. Something's not right… Something's missing… Excuse me, die-ary, I need to go check something.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001.

Squee's entry:

No entry.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001. 2:17 A.M.

Kris's entry:

HILLBILLIES! EVERYWHERE! OH MY HOLY FUCKING SPORK! Nny has ONCE AGAIN managed to fuck things up! You are surprised, no? I didn't think so. He killed some farmer's "precious cow," causing said farmer to tweak out and bring his entire family to kill us! … To death! Fortunately, though, only one made it in, and Nny made short work of him. I suppose even if he does get us into trouble, he always gets us out of it. Anyway, after removing that one hillbilly, Blair grabbed to wheel and practically flew down that dirt road. I know she hit some of those hicks. I heard their screams. And I think she hit a pig too.. and maybe a cow. I denno. I heard a rather loud "MOOOOAAAARGH!" Nny looks troubled… I'mma go see what's goin' on.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001. 2:33 A.M.

Zim's entry: Computer,

Earth is even more frightening and barbaric than I ever realized before. A large group of very smelly humans with teeth problems stormed our mode of transportation not too long ago, screaming maniacally about a "cow." They had weapons I had never seen before… But luckily, the insane one, "Johnny," kept them out of the vehicle. But enough of that… Why isn't the Dib-human dead?! Why?! It plagues me like.. like… like a plague! Gargh! I must think of more devious modes of attack than those Crystal Cubes, which he apparently has some immunity to.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001. 2:42 A.M.

Gir's entry: DIARY!!!!

We aaaall made some new friends today! I got a straw hat! And some shiny-moon! And we got to go on a ride! Ms. Blair-Lady drove the RV reeeeal fast! It was fun! Now we're.. umm… somewhere else. I don't see anymore corn. It makes me so sad. I think I'll go eat the taquitos I hid in Master's boots. BYEEEE!!

I LOVE YOU! I DOOO!!!!

Gir

Tuesday, December 9th, 2001. 2:59 A.M.

Blair's entry:

Oooohh… Holy fucking Jeebus. I fecking swear that once I'm done driving I'm going to rip Nny into little tiny pieces! Why did he have to kill that damn cow?! I just knew something bad was gonna happen! First we're just sleepin', and next thing you know, there's a bunch of hillbillies trying to kill the RV! They almost got into the RV, but Nny shoved them out. I never thought I could drive sooooo fast. I hit a couple hillbillies, a pig, and a cow. Biiiiig thump! I enjoyed that part. Nothin' like running over a few breathing organisms to start off the day. 'Least the staring corn is gone… Hrm… I can't hear any "squee" sounds… Funny.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2:45 A.M.

Dib's entry: Dear Swollen Eye-Balls,

Holy Bigfoot! This has been the scariest day of my life! Possessed farmers came after us because Johnny killed their prize cow. Oh, the insanity! I didn't even have time to take out my alien-catching camera thing! This is terrible! And Zim keeps looking at me all funny-like… I'm gonna go tell Todd about the alien farmers.