Chapter 3, Dementia
He didn't know where he was. He couldn't remember much of anything really. He felt almost empty inside, like he was missing something. He tried to focus, to think clearly again, but his mind kept wondering away into nothingness. He felt pain everywhere in his body. A powerful throbbing, like he had been beaten to an inch of his life. The part that frightened him the most was, besides the pain, he couldn't feel anything else. He finally noticed that he couldn't see anything either. Sound seemed to elude him also. Suddenly, almost forcing him to make sense of everything, he felt a different pain. The throbbing was still there, but this other pain made everything worse. It was as if he was being pulled in every direction. He felt as if his body was about to tear apart. He could think a little more clearly now. He would ask himself questions like: Where am I? Why do I hurt so badly? What is going on? The pain began to lessen a little. He started to drift in thought again, forgetting the hurt. As if struck by lighting, the pain was back again. His head felt like it would explode. He tried to scream and he knew he was screaming, but he still couldn't hear it. The pain continued to fluctuate. He seemed to go in between the lulled state and pained state over and over again. When he was in the pained state, at least he could think a little bit clearly. He couldn't decide which state he liked better. After what seemed like years of this cycling, something of difference eventually happened. This time, after the lulled stage, the pain was different. He still felt the throbbing and the pulling, but this time, he also felt a strong burning inside himself. His mind seemed to be freed for a second and he could think more clearly. He knew what was going on. He knew that he must be in that state of dementia that Katana had warned him about. -Garali- "Why am I here though? Did she kill me or something?" He remembered being struck on the neck. -Garali- "She must have decapitated me. Why would she do that? This is too painful. I can't stand this anymore!" He understood why someone would give up being a soldier after such an experience. In fact, he never wanted to feel this again. He knew that once this was over, he would never do anything this stupid again. Oddly, the pain seemed to subside at this point. He felt almost tranquil. He still could not see or hear but he could feel someone was near. Two people stood before him. -Garali- "Who are you? What do you want?" Again, he could not hear himself speak, but he knew what he was saying. He couldn't hear their words either but he seemed to just know what they were saying. He could tell, before they even spoke, that it was his parents. -Garali's father- "Garali, you can not give up! They took us from you, and you cannot give up so easily." -Garali's mother- "We cannot rest. We are suffering just like you are. You have to do something. You can't give up! We believe in you." These words of encouragement seemed to fill him with a new sense of purpose. -Garali- "What can I do though? Tell me what to do!" They were gone now. He could no longer feel them near him. With them went the feeling of tranquility. The pain returned, this time in full force, as if trying to make up for the lost time. He felt the burning and the pulling and the throbbing, but one thing was different. He kept the words his parents told him in his mind. He focused with all his will. The pain didn't overwhelm him anymore.
He didn't know where he was. He couldn't remember much of anything really. He felt almost empty inside, like he was missing something. He tried to focus, to think clearly again, but his mind kept wondering away into nothingness. He felt pain everywhere in his body. A powerful throbbing, like he had been beaten to an inch of his life. The part that frightened him the most was, besides the pain, he couldn't feel anything else. He finally noticed that he couldn't see anything either. Sound seemed to elude him also. Suddenly, almost forcing him to make sense of everything, he felt a different pain. The throbbing was still there, but this other pain made everything worse. It was as if he was being pulled in every direction. He felt as if his body was about to tear apart. He could think a little more clearly now. He would ask himself questions like: Where am I? Why do I hurt so badly? What is going on? The pain began to lessen a little. He started to drift in thought again, forgetting the hurt. As if struck by lighting, the pain was back again. His head felt like it would explode. He tried to scream and he knew he was screaming, but he still couldn't hear it. The pain continued to fluctuate. He seemed to go in between the lulled state and pained state over and over again. When he was in the pained state, at least he could think a little bit clearly. He couldn't decide which state he liked better. After what seemed like years of this cycling, something of difference eventually happened. This time, after the lulled stage, the pain was different. He still felt the throbbing and the pulling, but this time, he also felt a strong burning inside himself. His mind seemed to be freed for a second and he could think more clearly. He knew what was going on. He knew that he must be in that state of dementia that Katana had warned him about. -Garali- "Why am I here though? Did she kill me or something?" He remembered being struck on the neck. -Garali- "She must have decapitated me. Why would she do that? This is too painful. I can't stand this anymore!" He understood why someone would give up being a soldier after such an experience. In fact, he never wanted to feel this again. He knew that once this was over, he would never do anything this stupid again. Oddly, the pain seemed to subside at this point. He felt almost tranquil. He still could not see or hear but he could feel someone was near. Two people stood before him. -Garali- "Who are you? What do you want?" Again, he could not hear himself speak, but he knew what he was saying. He couldn't hear their words either but he seemed to just know what they were saying. He could tell, before they even spoke, that it was his parents. -Garali's father- "Garali, you can not give up! They took us from you, and you cannot give up so easily." -Garali's mother- "We cannot rest. We are suffering just like you are. You have to do something. You can't give up! We believe in you." These words of encouragement seemed to fill him with a new sense of purpose. -Garali- "What can I do though? Tell me what to do!" They were gone now. He could no longer feel them near him. With them went the feeling of tranquility. The pain returned, this time in full force, as if trying to make up for the lost time. He felt the burning and the pulling and the throbbing, but one thing was different. He kept the words his parents told him in his mind. He focused with all his will. The pain didn't overwhelm him anymore.