Disclaimer: even though it's mine, it's not mine, and I don't have any
money!! I mean really, if you sued me, I'd have $15, total. That's it!!
So don't even try.
A/N I never thought I'd be writing something rated G and putting it up here!! (what in the world is wrong with me??) but alas, I am. My signature on emails and such is "while visions of snapes danced in their heads", so I just made this around that. And we all know the only real way santa, or st. nick, whichever you prefer, gets around the whole world is because he's a wizard!! I hope you enjoy. It's my first attempt here at anything like this. It's not really funny, but I guess that's the only place it'll fit is humour. I'm going to shut up now, really! :D
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Hogwarts,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a dwarf.
The stockings were hung in Gryffindor Tower
In hopes that St. Nicholas would arrive in an hour.
The students were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of snapes danced in their heads.
McGonagall in her 'kerchief, Flitwick in his cap
Had just settled their heads for a long winter's nap,
When out on the Quidditch pitch there arose such a clatter
Filch sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a snitch
Tore open the shutters and threw up the hitch.
The moon on the breast of the snow covered field
Gave the luster of having nothing concealed.
When, what to the wandering ghosts should appear
But a miniature broom, and 8 tiny reindeer,
With a little old wizard, so lively and quick,
Peeves knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than hippogriffs his coursers they came
And he waved his wand and called them by name.
"Now, Dobby! Now, Winky! Now, Snuffles and Prongs!
On, Moony! On, Padfoot! On, Wormtail and Aragog!
To the top of the castle! To the top of the wall!
Now fly away! Fly away! Fly away all!"
As fairies before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a bogart, mount to the sky,
So up to the Astronomy Tower they flew
With a broom heavy with toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, Snape heard up the way
The prancing and pawing and each little neigh.
As Sprout drew in her head and was turning around,
Down the Great Hall St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe
And his robes were all tarnished and covered in snow.
A bundle of toys, he had, Dungbombs ad more
And he looked like a peddler coming out of a store.
His wizard's hat how pointy-his dimples how merry!
His cheeks like a house elf's, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile
And the beard rivaled Dumbledore's (which had grown quite a while)!
The stump of a pip he held in a tooth
And the smoke it encircled a common room booth.
He had a broad face like that of Hagrid,
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowl of porridge.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his wand
Soon gave Harry Potter to know they shared quite a bond.
He spoke a spell, which did all his work
Filled the room with parcels; then turned with a jerk
And laying his wand aside his nose
And giving a charm, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his broom, gave the magical deer a whistle
Across the lake they all flew like the down of a thistle.
A spell he conjured glowed bright in the night
Saying "Happy Christmas to Hogwarts, and to all a good-night!"
A/N I never thought I'd be writing something rated G and putting it up here!! (what in the world is wrong with me??) but alas, I am. My signature on emails and such is "while visions of snapes danced in their heads", so I just made this around that. And we all know the only real way santa, or st. nick, whichever you prefer, gets around the whole world is because he's a wizard!! I hope you enjoy. It's my first attempt here at anything like this. It's not really funny, but I guess that's the only place it'll fit is humour. I'm going to shut up now, really! :D
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Hogwarts,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a dwarf.
The stockings were hung in Gryffindor Tower
In hopes that St. Nicholas would arrive in an hour.
The students were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of snapes danced in their heads.
McGonagall in her 'kerchief, Flitwick in his cap
Had just settled their heads for a long winter's nap,
When out on the Quidditch pitch there arose such a clatter
Filch sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a snitch
Tore open the shutters and threw up the hitch.
The moon on the breast of the snow covered field
Gave the luster of having nothing concealed.
When, what to the wandering ghosts should appear
But a miniature broom, and 8 tiny reindeer,
With a little old wizard, so lively and quick,
Peeves knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than hippogriffs his coursers they came
And he waved his wand and called them by name.
"Now, Dobby! Now, Winky! Now, Snuffles and Prongs!
On, Moony! On, Padfoot! On, Wormtail and Aragog!
To the top of the castle! To the top of the wall!
Now fly away! Fly away! Fly away all!"
As fairies before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a bogart, mount to the sky,
So up to the Astronomy Tower they flew
With a broom heavy with toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, Snape heard up the way
The prancing and pawing and each little neigh.
As Sprout drew in her head and was turning around,
Down the Great Hall St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe
And his robes were all tarnished and covered in snow.
A bundle of toys, he had, Dungbombs ad more
And he looked like a peddler coming out of a store.
His wizard's hat how pointy-his dimples how merry!
His cheeks like a house elf's, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile
And the beard rivaled Dumbledore's (which had grown quite a while)!
The stump of a pip he held in a tooth
And the smoke it encircled a common room booth.
He had a broad face like that of Hagrid,
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowl of porridge.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his wand
Soon gave Harry Potter to know they shared quite a bond.
He spoke a spell, which did all his work
Filled the room with parcels; then turned with a jerk
And laying his wand aside his nose
And giving a charm, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his broom, gave the magical deer a whistle
Across the lake they all flew like the down of a thistle.
A spell he conjured glowed bright in the night
Saying "Happy Christmas to Hogwarts, and to all a good-night!"