Author: Lee Velviet
E-Mail: Vampslay@Bellsouth.net
Disclaimer: You know who this stuff belongs to-J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., etc-I own absolutely nothing! ::Sob::
Summary: This is a loooong one boys and girls! Ginny is in her fifth year at Hogwarts-lets just say it includes Draco, Harry, secret meetings, Playwizards, and Quidditch-can never have enough of that, in my opinion! Hope you like!
(A/N: Reviews would rock, flames are welcome, but constructive criticism would be better! As always, please let me know if I get facts wrong! Thanks for reading!)
5.Reality Intrudes
It was the Christmas holiday-and Draco had stayed behind at Hogwarts- thankfully. He was glad his Father had no time for him-Lucius would have known something was wrong with his son, and, no pun intended, would have ferreted the truth out of him sooner or later.
But what was the truth? Draco still wasn't sure. He'd admitted to himself he felt love for Ginny Weasley-but he didn't want to.
Draco found himself wandering the castle almost as if he could outrun his newfound emotions-emotions were for stupid, sniveling prats like Potter and Longbottom, and he wanted no part of them.
Ginny walked into the Library the day after Christmas-it was mid- morning, and the sunlight gleaming off the white, snow covered grounds outside lit through the tall Library windows with a clean, almost blinding white light.
She was hiding, she supposed-Harry and Ron had tried to get her to go out and have a snowball fight with them, but she hadn't felt much like having fun.
Ever since she'd recovered from the injury sustained during the last Quidditch Match, Harry had been practically glued to her at the hip. He'd done everything possible to help her, bring her homework, fill her in on gossip, sending candy and flowers and funny little joke cards to make her laugh.
Draco had ignored her completely which she'd been prepared for, but it didn't keep her from hurting. She wanted to smack herself for being so Stupid-Harry obviously still loved her-she needed to forget Malfoy and-
Ginny bumped into someone as she rounded the stacks-"Er-sorry-" Her voice faded as she looked up into Draco's pale eyes. She was surprised to see him-she hadn't known he was staying during the holidays. "Uh-Hi."
Draco bit his tongue to stop the curse leaving his lips. Just what he bloody needed. Who the hell came to the Library over vacation? Besides Granger of course-
"What are you doing here?" His tone was rather unpleasant.
Ginny frowned, her hackles rising. "What are you doing here?"
He narrowed his eyes, glaring at her through the fall of his longish white-blonde hair. "Do you practice being annoying, or does it just come naturally?"
"Do you always answer a question with a question?" Ginny countered, crossing her arms.
Draco glared at her, frustrated, and then- he felt his arms move, almost as if they were beyond his control-his mind realized what he was doing and screamed a denial-but it was too late. Ginny was in his arms, and his lips were covering her own.
Ginny had stopped breathing, stopped feeling, and stopped seeing- anything but Draco. Her fingers twisted into the silky hair at his nape as her eyes slid shut, and she felt his heart beating hard against her chest as he pulled her closer.
She sighed and melted against him, her legs feeling weak. God, he is amazing, she thought idly-he tastes like cinnamon, and sugar, and chocolate-
She felt his hands encircle her waist, and drew in a sharp breath as they slid up around her ribcage, inching towards her breasts-
Draco tore himself away from her with a major effort. He backed away from her, eyes a little wild, his hair mussed from her fingers, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
Ginny stood where he left her, eyes half closed, swaying slightly, her fingers coming up to touch her lips.
"Fuck!" Draco turned away, clenching his fists furiously. This wasn't supposed to happen to him, this loss of self-control-
Ginny's hand touched the small of his back. "Draco-" her voice was little more than a breathy whisper.
Draco turned on her, pushing her hand back at her, his silvery eyes turbulent, filled with confusion and hopelessness-and just a little fear.
"I don't know what you want from me, Ginny," his cold voice lashed, and Ginny instinctively stepped back, her eyes wide.
"You should have hit me for what I just did."
Ginny rubbed her arms as if she were cold. "Why would I want to do that?"
"God, didn't you're Mum ever teach you anything?" Draco ran a trembling hand through his hair.
"Draco-"
"This is it, Ginny-I can't run from this anymore." He closed his eyes briefly. "I know you think you love me-but the person you're looking for doesn't exist in me. I'm not good, Ginny-I never will be."
"But-I love you-"
He snorted. "Yu don't know what love is-Hell, I don't know what love is! I don't think I ever want to know. Love is a weakness where I come from, little Weasel, and I want no part of it."
"I know what love is," she told him angrily. "I know I love you."
"You love me?" He shook his head. "I'll give you a warning, Gin- don't."
"Why not? Why shouldn't I?"
He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her in his frustration. "Look at me! Really look at me!" His eyes were cold and mere slits, his teeth bared. "Do I look like the type of man who deserves love? Do I look like the kind of man who is possessed of a kind and generous nature, Ginny? Do I have the look of someone who is forgiving, self-sacrificing, and heroic?"
"If I had truly wanted all of that, I would have stayed with Harry, you stupid prat!"
He threw his hands up angrily. "I don't know what the hell you want from me, Ginny. I am what I am-I can't help it, I can't change-not even for you."
Ginny came close but didn't touch him. "I'm not asking for much-just a small piece of your life. I just want-to mean something to you."
"My life?" He dropped his head back on his shoulders to look at the ceiling. "I thought you wanted a piece of my non-existent heart."
"I'll take either."
He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "There's no part –and I mean, no, part-of my life that you cold possibly understand-or withstand."
"But I love you, Draco, and I know what love is, you stubborn rotter!"
He looked at her helplessly. "Ginny-do you have any idea what my father would do to you if he knew any of this?"
You wouldn't let him hurt me." Her voice held a quiet conviction.
"I wouldn't?"
"No, you wouldn't."
He wished he could feel so confident. He summoned up every bit of icy disdain he possibly could in the face of her love.
"Just leave me alone, Weasley. I don't love you, I don't love anybody- except, perhaps myself. And if I ever did decide to love someone, it wouldn't be a plain, poor little nobody like you." He sneered for effect. You asshole, Malfoy, he told himself, when her eyes filled with tears, you bloody bastard.
Sod off, he snapped at the voice-I'm not nice, I'm not kind, and I won't feel guilty for this! I never asked her to love me!
Ginny was shaking her head, and to his surprise, smiling through her hurt. "It won't work Malfoy-I know you feel something for me-you kissed me- "
"Lust. Pure lust-simple." He shrugged, then his arm snaked out, and he pulled her against him. "You should have stayed away from me, Ginny. I don't love girls-haven't you figured it out by now? I use them. I can tell you I love you, easily-they're only words, after all. 'I love you, Pansy', 'I love you, Lavender', 'I love you, Ginny'. They mean nothing. It's just an easy way to get between females legs."
He ignored her shocked gasp and went on mercilessly. "You wanted my love, Ginny-well, there it is, what there is of it. Words with no meaning what so ever. If you want the act that goes with it, stick around. I can play the lover for you."
She pushed away from him, her lips trembling. "You're a bastard. You might have said those words before without meaning them, Draco-but I never have!"
"I've told you before-I'm no hero-I fight doing the honorable thing with every breath, haven't you realized that by now?"
"You're a fool, Draco-I love you, and I guess that makes me one too. You won't stop lying to yourself long enough to take a chance loving me back. I hate you for that."
Draco watched her draw a deep breath, and felt an ache in his chest. He felt like he had her heart in his hands-he was fucking Draco Malfoy, and didn't want to be handed any hearts. But a small voice was shouting at him from some forgotten place-"-don't let me let you go!"
Draco stomped on the niggling emotion ruthlessly. Pipe down, you!
Ginny shook her head at the stubborn look on his face, and turned away without another word.
The sky clouded over outside, and the light coming through the windows was suddenly extinguished, leaving him to stand-alone in the darkened, silent Library.
Ginny wandered away from the library dry-eyed and aching hollowly. "I hate him-I hate him!" Her heart was saying something else entirely.
"Liar."
(Was there ever a plot here??? Oh, well-maybe I'll get back on some kind of track soon! Thanks for the reviews!)
E-Mail: Vampslay@Bellsouth.net
Disclaimer: You know who this stuff belongs to-J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., etc-I own absolutely nothing! ::Sob::
Summary: This is a loooong one boys and girls! Ginny is in her fifth year at Hogwarts-lets just say it includes Draco, Harry, secret meetings, Playwizards, and Quidditch-can never have enough of that, in my opinion! Hope you like!
(A/N: Reviews would rock, flames are welcome, but constructive criticism would be better! As always, please let me know if I get facts wrong! Thanks for reading!)
5.Reality Intrudes
It was the Christmas holiday-and Draco had stayed behind at Hogwarts- thankfully. He was glad his Father had no time for him-Lucius would have known something was wrong with his son, and, no pun intended, would have ferreted the truth out of him sooner or later.
But what was the truth? Draco still wasn't sure. He'd admitted to himself he felt love for Ginny Weasley-but he didn't want to.
Draco found himself wandering the castle almost as if he could outrun his newfound emotions-emotions were for stupid, sniveling prats like Potter and Longbottom, and he wanted no part of them.
Ginny walked into the Library the day after Christmas-it was mid- morning, and the sunlight gleaming off the white, snow covered grounds outside lit through the tall Library windows with a clean, almost blinding white light.
She was hiding, she supposed-Harry and Ron had tried to get her to go out and have a snowball fight with them, but she hadn't felt much like having fun.
Ever since she'd recovered from the injury sustained during the last Quidditch Match, Harry had been practically glued to her at the hip. He'd done everything possible to help her, bring her homework, fill her in on gossip, sending candy and flowers and funny little joke cards to make her laugh.
Draco had ignored her completely which she'd been prepared for, but it didn't keep her from hurting. She wanted to smack herself for being so Stupid-Harry obviously still loved her-she needed to forget Malfoy and-
Ginny bumped into someone as she rounded the stacks-"Er-sorry-" Her voice faded as she looked up into Draco's pale eyes. She was surprised to see him-she hadn't known he was staying during the holidays. "Uh-Hi."
Draco bit his tongue to stop the curse leaving his lips. Just what he bloody needed. Who the hell came to the Library over vacation? Besides Granger of course-
"What are you doing here?" His tone was rather unpleasant.
Ginny frowned, her hackles rising. "What are you doing here?"
He narrowed his eyes, glaring at her through the fall of his longish white-blonde hair. "Do you practice being annoying, or does it just come naturally?"
"Do you always answer a question with a question?" Ginny countered, crossing her arms.
Draco glared at her, frustrated, and then- he felt his arms move, almost as if they were beyond his control-his mind realized what he was doing and screamed a denial-but it was too late. Ginny was in his arms, and his lips were covering her own.
Ginny had stopped breathing, stopped feeling, and stopped seeing- anything but Draco. Her fingers twisted into the silky hair at his nape as her eyes slid shut, and she felt his heart beating hard against her chest as he pulled her closer.
She sighed and melted against him, her legs feeling weak. God, he is amazing, she thought idly-he tastes like cinnamon, and sugar, and chocolate-
She felt his hands encircle her waist, and drew in a sharp breath as they slid up around her ribcage, inching towards her breasts-
Draco tore himself away from her with a major effort. He backed away from her, eyes a little wild, his hair mussed from her fingers, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
Ginny stood where he left her, eyes half closed, swaying slightly, her fingers coming up to touch her lips.
"Fuck!" Draco turned away, clenching his fists furiously. This wasn't supposed to happen to him, this loss of self-control-
Ginny's hand touched the small of his back. "Draco-" her voice was little more than a breathy whisper.
Draco turned on her, pushing her hand back at her, his silvery eyes turbulent, filled with confusion and hopelessness-and just a little fear.
"I don't know what you want from me, Ginny," his cold voice lashed, and Ginny instinctively stepped back, her eyes wide.
"You should have hit me for what I just did."
Ginny rubbed her arms as if she were cold. "Why would I want to do that?"
"God, didn't you're Mum ever teach you anything?" Draco ran a trembling hand through his hair.
"Draco-"
"This is it, Ginny-I can't run from this anymore." He closed his eyes briefly. "I know you think you love me-but the person you're looking for doesn't exist in me. I'm not good, Ginny-I never will be."
"But-I love you-"
He snorted. "Yu don't know what love is-Hell, I don't know what love is! I don't think I ever want to know. Love is a weakness where I come from, little Weasel, and I want no part of it."
"I know what love is," she told him angrily. "I know I love you."
"You love me?" He shook his head. "I'll give you a warning, Gin- don't."
"Why not? Why shouldn't I?"
He grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her in his frustration. "Look at me! Really look at me!" His eyes were cold and mere slits, his teeth bared. "Do I look like the type of man who deserves love? Do I look like the kind of man who is possessed of a kind and generous nature, Ginny? Do I have the look of someone who is forgiving, self-sacrificing, and heroic?"
"If I had truly wanted all of that, I would have stayed with Harry, you stupid prat!"
He threw his hands up angrily. "I don't know what the hell you want from me, Ginny. I am what I am-I can't help it, I can't change-not even for you."
Ginny came close but didn't touch him. "I'm not asking for much-just a small piece of your life. I just want-to mean something to you."
"My life?" He dropped his head back on his shoulders to look at the ceiling. "I thought you wanted a piece of my non-existent heart."
"I'll take either."
He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "There's no part –and I mean, no, part-of my life that you cold possibly understand-or withstand."
"But I love you, Draco, and I know what love is, you stubborn rotter!"
He looked at her helplessly. "Ginny-do you have any idea what my father would do to you if he knew any of this?"
You wouldn't let him hurt me." Her voice held a quiet conviction.
"I wouldn't?"
"No, you wouldn't."
He wished he could feel so confident. He summoned up every bit of icy disdain he possibly could in the face of her love.
"Just leave me alone, Weasley. I don't love you, I don't love anybody- except, perhaps myself. And if I ever did decide to love someone, it wouldn't be a plain, poor little nobody like you." He sneered for effect. You asshole, Malfoy, he told himself, when her eyes filled with tears, you bloody bastard.
Sod off, he snapped at the voice-I'm not nice, I'm not kind, and I won't feel guilty for this! I never asked her to love me!
Ginny was shaking her head, and to his surprise, smiling through her hurt. "It won't work Malfoy-I know you feel something for me-you kissed me- "
"Lust. Pure lust-simple." He shrugged, then his arm snaked out, and he pulled her against him. "You should have stayed away from me, Ginny. I don't love girls-haven't you figured it out by now? I use them. I can tell you I love you, easily-they're only words, after all. 'I love you, Pansy', 'I love you, Lavender', 'I love you, Ginny'. They mean nothing. It's just an easy way to get between females legs."
He ignored her shocked gasp and went on mercilessly. "You wanted my love, Ginny-well, there it is, what there is of it. Words with no meaning what so ever. If you want the act that goes with it, stick around. I can play the lover for you."
She pushed away from him, her lips trembling. "You're a bastard. You might have said those words before without meaning them, Draco-but I never have!"
"I've told you before-I'm no hero-I fight doing the honorable thing with every breath, haven't you realized that by now?"
"You're a fool, Draco-I love you, and I guess that makes me one too. You won't stop lying to yourself long enough to take a chance loving me back. I hate you for that."
Draco watched her draw a deep breath, and felt an ache in his chest. He felt like he had her heart in his hands-he was fucking Draco Malfoy, and didn't want to be handed any hearts. But a small voice was shouting at him from some forgotten place-"-don't let me let you go!"
Draco stomped on the niggling emotion ruthlessly. Pipe down, you!
Ginny shook her head at the stubborn look on his face, and turned away without another word.
The sky clouded over outside, and the light coming through the windows was suddenly extinguished, leaving him to stand-alone in the darkened, silent Library.
Ginny wandered away from the library dry-eyed and aching hollowly. "I hate him-I hate him!" Her heart was saying something else entirely.
"Liar."
(Was there ever a plot here??? Oh, well-maybe I'll get back on some kind of track soon! Thanks for the reviews!)