Author: Lee Velviet
E-Mail: Vampslay@Bellsouth.net
Disclaimer: You know who this stuff belongs to-J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., etc-I own absolutely nothing! ::Sob::
(A/N: Reviews would rock, flames are welcome, but constructive criticism would be better! As always, please let me know if I get facts wrong! Thanks for reading!)
~***~
6.Pretend you don't see her…
~***~
Draco went down to dinner that evening with a heavy heart - funny, because he'd have sworn he'd told Ginny he didn't have one.
Only a handful of students who had remained over the holidays occupied the long tables. He pointedly ignored the Gryffindor table as he moved to take his usual seat at the Slytherin table, pasting a blank look onto his face.
'That's right, Draco-pretend you don't see her - pretend she doesn't even exist.'
He wondered how she was feeling.
'Who cares?' A voice answered him caustically
.
Right. What did it matter to him if she was unhappy? It was her own fault - the girl seemed to fall in and out of love at the merest whim - first Harry, then him - and tomorrow it would no doubt be Longbottom - Draco couldn't withold a sneer of distaste at the stray thought.
He jabbed his fork at his plate angrily. Disgusting, the way the girl let her feelings run away with her - she let them rule everything she did, every decision she made. He'd never do that; never make a fool of himself in that way.
She had been a momentary weakness, was all - perhaps he'd developed a taste for petite redheads. He didn't love her. He didn't. He couldn't. It wasn't that he was afraid to feel - he wasn't afraid of anything. Except maybe his father - and well, Voldemort, but who in their right mind wouldn't be? As for Ginny Weasley…it wasn't real any of it, any of the feelings he felt, or the ones she claimed to feel…
'Then why the hell are you still thinking about her?'
'I'm wasting my bloody time, that's what I'm doing,' he answered himself furiously.
Draco shoved away from the table, setting his jaw.
He stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, achingly aware of her eyes on him with every step he took-his eyes flickered hesitantly over to her before he turned them forward again, focusing on the exit.
'Pretend you don't see her - she doesn't even exist...'
~***~
Ginny watched Draco leave almost as quickly as he'd arrived, leaving his plate untouched. Her eyes followed his tall form as he moved out of the hall, watching the tail of his robes ripple as he disappeared through the tall entryway.
"He's a fool." Harry muttered from next to her, reaching out a hand to grip hers tightly.
Ron didn't say a word. He concentrated on his food. Ginny was pretty sure he was still hacked off about the whole thing. It wasn't setting well with him, finding out his little sister was in love with Malfoy. It didn't help that Hermione had gone home over the Holidays - he missed her, she could tell.
Ginny sighed, looking at Harry. "I don't know why you put up with me." He'd been nothing but friendly lately. She was glad of it - she didn't think she could stand him being as out of character as he had been that past day in the common room.
Harry smiled solemnly. "Don't you?"
She looked at him helplessly, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go.
"I think I'm the one who's the fool," she murmured, looking across the tables at Draco's empty seat.
Ron snorted and Ginny stood up, walking out of the Hall after Draco.
~***~
Ron watched Harry as he in turn, watched his sister leave. His friend looked absolutely miserable.
"You really ought to go after her, you know," he forced himself to say.
Harry looked at him, surprise evident in his green eyes. "What?"
Ron sighed. "How many times did you have to push me to go after Hermione? I finally just walked up to her a few months ago, when she was alone in the library, grabbed her, and snogged her like mad - she didn't even try to slap me like I thought she would. Turned out she liked me just as much as I liked her."
"I'd safely say that Ginny and I have already established that we like each other,' Harry commented dryly, drumming his fingers on the table, remembering as he had so many times, the feel of her skin and lips beneath his.
"My point - if you don't mind - is that she clearly needs straightening out. That girl's so knotted up she doesn't know the difference between love and plain old lust - not that I'd expect her to, she is my baby sister." Ron felt his face go slightly red as he went on, aware of the sharpness of Harry's gaze. "I just think you should maybe keep an eye on her - even though it's clear Malfoy has totally shot her down, how do we know he won't try to take advantage of - well, her?"
Harry watched Ron's face stray from varying shades of red to purple and back again. "You actually think he'd do that."
Ron looked at him, raising his eyebrows. "Do you really think he wouldn't?"
Harry narrowed his eyes and stood up, practically running after Ginny.
Ron wondered if he'd done the right thing - Harry had almost murdered Draco a few months ago - what would he do if caught the prat actually snogging Ginny?
He grinned suddenly. Maybe it wouldn't work out so bad after all.
Draco was outside the Slytherin dungeons when he heard the light patter of feet on the stone floor behind him.
He turned resignedly – it was Ginny, and she proceeded to throw herself into his arms.
She pressed a kiss to his jaw and then to his slightly parted lips.
She pulled away before he could say a word, and he felt an unwanted tug in his stomach at the sight of tears in her velvety brown eyes.
"Don't be sad," she whispered, her hand on his cheek. "I hate to see you this way, torn, confused - I know you have feelings for me, don't deny it - and I know it's hard for you. It's just the way you are. Someone told you it was wrong to feel, Draco, and it's ruined you, who you could have been."
All Draco could do was stare at her. What was she saying?
"I won't bother you with this anymore. I don't want to pull you in a direction you don't want to move - I just want something from you that you don't have to give, like you said. We'll…" she swallowed, her eyes flashing about anywhere but him, "We'll pretend none of this ever happened. I'll pretend I never saw you – a - and you pretend you never saw me. It'll all be over."
Draco found himself staring at her in horror. What? Was she telling him she didn't love him anymore? What was going on?
"Just - pretend you don't see me," she said, backing away, her eyes shrieking their hurt at him. "I'm sorry about all this."
Draco could only stand there as she walked away. Something had split in two in his chest, and was now aching more fiercely than any wound he'd ever received.
He rubbed the grinding pain absently, turning blindly to the entrance to the Slytherin common room.
All he could think about was the fact that he'd lied-he had lied to her, and now was regretting it with everything in him. He'd had a heart after all, but now it was lying in splintered, bloody shards at his feet.
"Pretend you don't see her," he whispered to himself fervently as he walked through the common room, and into his dorms. He fell across his bed, seeing nothing, blinded by a pain he'd never thought he'd know. "Pretend she never even existed."
He might as well have been telling himself to pretend his Father had ever loved him.
Harry watched Ginny and Draco from afar - he saw his own hurt mirrored in the pale blonde's eyes as Ginny did the unbelievable - and let him go.
Draco had had feelings for her after all - maybe the boy wasn't such a complete fool after all - but he rescinded that thought when he watched Draco let her walk away.
Go after her, stupid, he found himself yelling inside his head.
The tall blonde just stood there, looking like someone had just told him he'd been disowned.
Ginny rushed past Harry in tears, her sobs rending his heart in two.
He watched her go, and looked back to Draco - but the boy had already disappeared.
Harry closed his eyes, and then went after Ginny - if she needed him, he'd be there - he still loved her after all, and no one had come to know her as he had. He'd never felt about anyone else the way he did about Ginny - he felt like a better person just from having known her.
The shimmer of hope in his chest made him feel guilty, but it didn't keep him from going to comfort her…
~***~
The school was hosting a Valentine's Day Ball.
Dumbledore made the announcements one evening at dinner in the beginning of February.
Ginny barely listened as a rush of excitement ran throughout the Great Hall. She'd didn't feel in the least like dancing…
"Well," Harry, who sat beside her, turned to her and smiled. "Do you want to go with me, Ginny?"
Ginny looked at him in disbelief. He'd certainly wasted no time asking anyone this year. "Er - well, yes, I suppose."
He grinned.
Ginny mentally kicked herself, but in her defense - what was she supposed to say?
Was she supposed to tell him no?
~***~
Draco ignored Pansy with some difficulty-she'd been hinting that they should go to the Ball together - the mere thought made him want to retch.
He studied the deep groove he'd been making in the wood of the table with his steak knife idly - anything to keep from looking over at her, anything to keep from thinking her name…
He prodded the wood again, watching another sliver peel away.
He bet she was going to the Ball with Harry.
Draco cursed and with a furious thrust, jabbed the sharp knife deeply into the table surface.
"Something vexes thee?" Pansy quoted slyly from beside him.
He didn't bother looking at her. He stood up and left the Hall, left the castle. He needed air.
~***~
Ginny knew she shouldn't be watching him-but tonight she couldn't help herself.
She'd been passing the windows in her dorm on her way to fetch her homework, and had seen Draco pacing outside in the snow, looking out over the frozen lake.
How long would it take for his memory to fade? She put her hand on the icy windowpane and watched him until he finally ducked his head into his shoulders against the fall of snow, and returned to the castle.
~***~
"You don't really want to be here, do you?"
The question surprised her, and Ginny turned to look at Harry from her contemplation of the dancers on the floor.
"Why do you think that?"
Harry rolled his eyes.
Ginny sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good company. I guess it's just-hard…"
"I think I'll go ask Cho for a dance," Harry muttered, and walked quite abruptly away.
Ginny bit her lip, trying not to feel hurt - he himself was feeling hurt, that's why he'd deliberately mentioned Cho's name. Ginny wondered idly if he was trying to make her jealous.
She looked out over the heads of the dancers, and found Draco again, dancing with yet another partner - he was on his fifth, she believed. It would have been amusing if it hadn't hurt her so much. He hadn't looked her way once, just like she'd asked him to.
She wanted to go over and pull the girl's perfect head of blonde hair out in bloody clumps when she saw her lay her head on his shoulder.
Ginny made herself turn away, and almost ran right into Harry and Cho Chang.
"Er - sorry." Hot tears began trickling down her cheeks as she moved past them, desperate to find a place to pull herself together.
~***~
Harry almost went after Ginny - but Cho had a tight hold on his arm, and he was forced to follow her onto the dance floor, and he couldn't just walk away from her when he'd been the one to ask her to dance.
He felt awful for behaving in such a way - he'd been so patient with Ginny, so gentle - it had been weeks, and she still looked at Malfoy like a starving pup at a bone. It was getting old, and though he loved her dearly, he wasn't sure he could stand much more of it.
Draco saw Potter dance past with Cho Chang and instantly felt his eyes dive around looking for Ginny-he saw her disappear into a curtained alcove near the entrance of the room, looking teary and upset.
A surge of anger ripped through him, and he sent a glare at Potter's unsuspecting back - the bloody bastard - and he extracted himself from the clinging blonde Ravenclaw girl he'd been dancing with.
"Hey! What's wrong?" The girl looked up at him, miffed as he set her from him.
"Er - sorry, I have to go, Margaret."
"It's Stacey!" The girl shot at him angrily, her blue eyes furious.
"Right," Draco mumbled carelessly, starting across the room. He'd just see if she was all right - not that he really cared but -
Ginny wiped her eyes with the edge of her topaz colored dress robes, knowing her make - up had been all but ruined, and there was no way she could return to the Ball looking like this –
"Ginny?"
Her head snapped up as Draco's voice called her name softly.
"I'm here," she said quietly, briskly rubbing the remaining tears from her face. Why did he have to see her now?
Draco pushed past the curtains and she took in the magnificent black and silver velvet of his dress robes - tiny snakes were embroidered in silver thread around the collar, and each one had tiny, winking green emeralds for eyes.
She stared at the soft black leather of his boots as her eyes dropped.
"What are you doing here?"
He snorted and she had to bite back a smile.
"It's a Ball - everyone is here."
"I meant, why are you here?" She motioned around the tiny alcove.
"Oh." It was his turn to stare at his boots. "I uh - I was, well, you see - oh, bugger."
He looked at her reproachfully. "I just thought you looked upset. I wanted to see if you were all right." The tone of his voice dared her to make something of it.
"Why do you care?" Her words slipped out unheeded.
His face hardened, and she wanted to break something.
"I don't. In fact, I'll be going now -"
She stepped in front of him. "I know you like me. Why are you being so stupid?"
Draco looked at her lazily. "I'm sure I don't have any idea what you're talking about - maybe you've confused me for Potter again. Although I can't see how that could ever happen."
"I know you find me attractive - I've seen you looking at my breasts," Ginny hissed at Draco as he tried to move away. (A/N: Yes that was a Buffy line! ^-^)
He stopped abruptly and looked at her, an almost amused frown on his face. "No offense, Gin, luv, but when a fellow does that, it just means his eyes are open. Now kindly let loose of my robes - you're crushing the velvet."
Ginny almost bared her teeth in frustration. Before he could say or do anything, she reached up and mussed his perfect, smooth hair with her fingers, and gave him a kiss that was short in duration but that went a long way in making her point known.
She pulled back from him, feeling as if her lips had been seared, and took a deep breath. Draco looked at her through narrowed eyes, looking calm and cold as ever, though she could see his chest moving up and down rapidly beneath his emerald studded robes. He reached up to smooth his almost white hair and frowned down at her from his superior height.
"I don't know what has possessed you, Ginny, but you're imagining things. Why would you think I like you? I don't even know you - haven't I shown my intense dislike toward your family the past few years?"
"Draco, I know you feel something for me," Ginny said stubbornly.
He looked down his nose at her in cool exasperation. "How do you know?" He shook his head and turned to walk away from her again.
"I know…because you never call a Weasley by their first name."
That stopped him more efficiently than if she had put a leg locker curse on him.
Ginny waited, holding her breath, before he finally turned back to her, his pale, sharp features blank.
He looked at her with intense silvery eyes before saying quietly, "So? What if I do? What if what I feel for you goes beyond just liking you? What if I told you that if you knew what I was feeling inside for you right now, it would most likely send you running and screaming like a mad banshee because it's so intense that it scares even me?"
Draco crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, but she could still detect the tremble in them. "Would it matter, Ginny? I am who I am, you are who you are, and neither of us can change that. I can't change. Even if could, what difference would it make? We were born to be enemies-it's always been that way. Who are we to challenge it?" His features hardened as looked her up and down appraisingly.
"Don't worry - one day you'll find a man," Draco murmured, pushing away from Ginny with a cocked eyebrow. "I hear in some cultures, virginity is highly prized." He smirked at her, and straightened.
Ginny couldn't find a word to speak. She just stared at him miserably until he very simply turned and walked away from her.
"You're right, Malfoy…who are we to change the way things are?" She said this in a very cold flat, voice.
He hesitated only briefly and then moved on; Ginny saw a pretty dark haired girl from Slytherin take hold of his arm and his eyes came back to her, intense over the girl's head momentarily before he allowed her to drag him off for a dance.
Ginny let herself collapse on a window seat deep inside the cold, dark alcove and she cried out all she was feeling until she could barely breathe, could barely see, or hear. Hermione came much later, holding her close, and then leading her up to her bed, like any best friend would.
"Harry was with Cho for the rest of the night," Hermione was muttering as she smoothed the covers over Ginny. "That was just plain thoughtless. I thought you two had finally worked things out, that you were there together."
Ginny pulled a pillow over her head. "It's not his fault - I wasn't being much of a date, I'm afraid."
Hermione sat next to her on the bed and tugged the pillow from her face. "It was Draco again wasn't it."
Ginny nodded without speaking.
After a moment, Ginny pushed Hermione from the bed. "I'm not going to be responsible for ruining anyone else's night-go back to Ron. Now. Scoot!"
Hermione hugged her before turning and moving hesitantly away.
Ginny hugged her pillow to her chest and listened to the howl of the winter wind outside, and the lonely beating of her own heart.
~***~
Draco left the Ball as soon as Ginny did - he couldn't stay in the room full of happy people any longer - it was making him properly ill.
He retrieved his cloak, scarf, and gloves, and went out into the dark night, hoping the cold would clear his mind.
~***~
Ginny went outside to get some air - she hadn't been able to sleep, and had suddenly wanted to be out amongst the cold, cleansing wind and sparkling moonlit snow.
She walked down by the lake, retracing the steps she'd seen Draco take many times before.
She watched the wind swirl small drifts of sparkling snow across the icy lake in delicate, eddying circles.
Her toes became numb in her shoes before she turned around, clutching her cloak closed against her throat.
Draco stood behind her, his eyes matching the icy sheen of the lake, his hair blowing across his eyes in the wind. He looked like he was in his element.
Ginny stepped closer to him after the surprise at seeing him wore off.
"I think it's my turn to ask what you're doing here," he said softly.
She smiled despite herself. "Just walking. Sorry if I invaded your fortress of solitude."
He smiled at that, but only briefly. "You look frozen."
Her teeth chattered embarrassingly in answer.
He hesitated, and then reached out resignedly to take her hand.
She gave it to him happily.
Draco pulled her close to his side, and they began walking back up to the castle.
Ginny wrinkled her nose and sniffled, pausing behind Draco in the snow.
He felt her pause and turned back, an annoyed look on his face. "What is it?"
She brushed her gloved fingers over her tiny nose. "I think a snowflake went up my nose," she muttered, shooting him a look that dared him to laugh.
He looked up at the black winter sky momentarily, a smile playing on his lips. She saw him swallow whatever he was going to say.
"Come on."
Ginny found herself smiling slightly as she followed him into the warmth of the entrance hall.
They'd said a hasty goodnight and moved off in opposite directions before either realized they'd just spent a good fifteen minutes together without one insult or unkind word.
~***~
TBC
E-Mail: Vampslay@Bellsouth.net
Disclaimer: You know who this stuff belongs to-J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., etc-I own absolutely nothing! ::Sob::
(A/N: Reviews would rock, flames are welcome, but constructive criticism would be better! As always, please let me know if I get facts wrong! Thanks for reading!)
~***~
6.Pretend you don't see her…
~***~
Draco went down to dinner that evening with a heavy heart - funny, because he'd have sworn he'd told Ginny he didn't have one.
Only a handful of students who had remained over the holidays occupied the long tables. He pointedly ignored the Gryffindor table as he moved to take his usual seat at the Slytherin table, pasting a blank look onto his face.
'That's right, Draco-pretend you don't see her - pretend she doesn't even exist.'
He wondered how she was feeling.
'Who cares?' A voice answered him caustically
.
Right. What did it matter to him if she was unhappy? It was her own fault - the girl seemed to fall in and out of love at the merest whim - first Harry, then him - and tomorrow it would no doubt be Longbottom - Draco couldn't withold a sneer of distaste at the stray thought.
He jabbed his fork at his plate angrily. Disgusting, the way the girl let her feelings run away with her - she let them rule everything she did, every decision she made. He'd never do that; never make a fool of himself in that way.
She had been a momentary weakness, was all - perhaps he'd developed a taste for petite redheads. He didn't love her. He didn't. He couldn't. It wasn't that he was afraid to feel - he wasn't afraid of anything. Except maybe his father - and well, Voldemort, but who in their right mind wouldn't be? As for Ginny Weasley…it wasn't real any of it, any of the feelings he felt, or the ones she claimed to feel…
'Then why the hell are you still thinking about her?'
'I'm wasting my bloody time, that's what I'm doing,' he answered himself furiously.
Draco shoved away from the table, setting his jaw.
He stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, achingly aware of her eyes on him with every step he took-his eyes flickered hesitantly over to her before he turned them forward again, focusing on the exit.
'Pretend you don't see her - she doesn't even exist...'
~***~
Ginny watched Draco leave almost as quickly as he'd arrived, leaving his plate untouched. Her eyes followed his tall form as he moved out of the hall, watching the tail of his robes ripple as he disappeared through the tall entryway.
"He's a fool." Harry muttered from next to her, reaching out a hand to grip hers tightly.
Ron didn't say a word. He concentrated on his food. Ginny was pretty sure he was still hacked off about the whole thing. It wasn't setting well with him, finding out his little sister was in love with Malfoy. It didn't help that Hermione had gone home over the Holidays - he missed her, she could tell.
Ginny sighed, looking at Harry. "I don't know why you put up with me." He'd been nothing but friendly lately. She was glad of it - she didn't think she could stand him being as out of character as he had been that past day in the common room.
Harry smiled solemnly. "Don't you?"
She looked at him helplessly, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go.
"I think I'm the one who's the fool," she murmured, looking across the tables at Draco's empty seat.
Ron snorted and Ginny stood up, walking out of the Hall after Draco.
~***~
Ron watched Harry as he in turn, watched his sister leave. His friend looked absolutely miserable.
"You really ought to go after her, you know," he forced himself to say.
Harry looked at him, surprise evident in his green eyes. "What?"
Ron sighed. "How many times did you have to push me to go after Hermione? I finally just walked up to her a few months ago, when she was alone in the library, grabbed her, and snogged her like mad - she didn't even try to slap me like I thought she would. Turned out she liked me just as much as I liked her."
"I'd safely say that Ginny and I have already established that we like each other,' Harry commented dryly, drumming his fingers on the table, remembering as he had so many times, the feel of her skin and lips beneath his.
"My point - if you don't mind - is that she clearly needs straightening out. That girl's so knotted up she doesn't know the difference between love and plain old lust - not that I'd expect her to, she is my baby sister." Ron felt his face go slightly red as he went on, aware of the sharpness of Harry's gaze. "I just think you should maybe keep an eye on her - even though it's clear Malfoy has totally shot her down, how do we know he won't try to take advantage of - well, her?"
Harry watched Ron's face stray from varying shades of red to purple and back again. "You actually think he'd do that."
Ron looked at him, raising his eyebrows. "Do you really think he wouldn't?"
Harry narrowed his eyes and stood up, practically running after Ginny.
Ron wondered if he'd done the right thing - Harry had almost murdered Draco a few months ago - what would he do if caught the prat actually snogging Ginny?
He grinned suddenly. Maybe it wouldn't work out so bad after all.
Draco was outside the Slytherin dungeons when he heard the light patter of feet on the stone floor behind him.
He turned resignedly – it was Ginny, and she proceeded to throw herself into his arms.
She pressed a kiss to his jaw and then to his slightly parted lips.
She pulled away before he could say a word, and he felt an unwanted tug in his stomach at the sight of tears in her velvety brown eyes.
"Don't be sad," she whispered, her hand on his cheek. "I hate to see you this way, torn, confused - I know you have feelings for me, don't deny it - and I know it's hard for you. It's just the way you are. Someone told you it was wrong to feel, Draco, and it's ruined you, who you could have been."
All Draco could do was stare at her. What was she saying?
"I won't bother you with this anymore. I don't want to pull you in a direction you don't want to move - I just want something from you that you don't have to give, like you said. We'll…" she swallowed, her eyes flashing about anywhere but him, "We'll pretend none of this ever happened. I'll pretend I never saw you – a - and you pretend you never saw me. It'll all be over."
Draco found himself staring at her in horror. What? Was she telling him she didn't love him anymore? What was going on?
"Just - pretend you don't see me," she said, backing away, her eyes shrieking their hurt at him. "I'm sorry about all this."
Draco could only stand there as she walked away. Something had split in two in his chest, and was now aching more fiercely than any wound he'd ever received.
He rubbed the grinding pain absently, turning blindly to the entrance to the Slytherin common room.
All he could think about was the fact that he'd lied-he had lied to her, and now was regretting it with everything in him. He'd had a heart after all, but now it was lying in splintered, bloody shards at his feet.
"Pretend you don't see her," he whispered to himself fervently as he walked through the common room, and into his dorms. He fell across his bed, seeing nothing, blinded by a pain he'd never thought he'd know. "Pretend she never even existed."
He might as well have been telling himself to pretend his Father had ever loved him.
Harry watched Ginny and Draco from afar - he saw his own hurt mirrored in the pale blonde's eyes as Ginny did the unbelievable - and let him go.
Draco had had feelings for her after all - maybe the boy wasn't such a complete fool after all - but he rescinded that thought when he watched Draco let her walk away.
Go after her, stupid, he found himself yelling inside his head.
The tall blonde just stood there, looking like someone had just told him he'd been disowned.
Ginny rushed past Harry in tears, her sobs rending his heart in two.
He watched her go, and looked back to Draco - but the boy had already disappeared.
Harry closed his eyes, and then went after Ginny - if she needed him, he'd be there - he still loved her after all, and no one had come to know her as he had. He'd never felt about anyone else the way he did about Ginny - he felt like a better person just from having known her.
The shimmer of hope in his chest made him feel guilty, but it didn't keep him from going to comfort her…
~***~
The school was hosting a Valentine's Day Ball.
Dumbledore made the announcements one evening at dinner in the beginning of February.
Ginny barely listened as a rush of excitement ran throughout the Great Hall. She'd didn't feel in the least like dancing…
"Well," Harry, who sat beside her, turned to her and smiled. "Do you want to go with me, Ginny?"
Ginny looked at him in disbelief. He'd certainly wasted no time asking anyone this year. "Er - well, yes, I suppose."
He grinned.
Ginny mentally kicked herself, but in her defense - what was she supposed to say?
Was she supposed to tell him no?
~***~
Draco ignored Pansy with some difficulty-she'd been hinting that they should go to the Ball together - the mere thought made him want to retch.
He studied the deep groove he'd been making in the wood of the table with his steak knife idly - anything to keep from looking over at her, anything to keep from thinking her name…
He prodded the wood again, watching another sliver peel away.
He bet she was going to the Ball with Harry.
Draco cursed and with a furious thrust, jabbed the sharp knife deeply into the table surface.
"Something vexes thee?" Pansy quoted slyly from beside him.
He didn't bother looking at her. He stood up and left the Hall, left the castle. He needed air.
~***~
Ginny knew she shouldn't be watching him-but tonight she couldn't help herself.
She'd been passing the windows in her dorm on her way to fetch her homework, and had seen Draco pacing outside in the snow, looking out over the frozen lake.
How long would it take for his memory to fade? She put her hand on the icy windowpane and watched him until he finally ducked his head into his shoulders against the fall of snow, and returned to the castle.
~***~
"You don't really want to be here, do you?"
The question surprised her, and Ginny turned to look at Harry from her contemplation of the dancers on the floor.
"Why do you think that?"
Harry rolled his eyes.
Ginny sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good company. I guess it's just-hard…"
"I think I'll go ask Cho for a dance," Harry muttered, and walked quite abruptly away.
Ginny bit her lip, trying not to feel hurt - he himself was feeling hurt, that's why he'd deliberately mentioned Cho's name. Ginny wondered idly if he was trying to make her jealous.
She looked out over the heads of the dancers, and found Draco again, dancing with yet another partner - he was on his fifth, she believed. It would have been amusing if it hadn't hurt her so much. He hadn't looked her way once, just like she'd asked him to.
She wanted to go over and pull the girl's perfect head of blonde hair out in bloody clumps when she saw her lay her head on his shoulder.
Ginny made herself turn away, and almost ran right into Harry and Cho Chang.
"Er - sorry." Hot tears began trickling down her cheeks as she moved past them, desperate to find a place to pull herself together.
~***~
Harry almost went after Ginny - but Cho had a tight hold on his arm, and he was forced to follow her onto the dance floor, and he couldn't just walk away from her when he'd been the one to ask her to dance.
He felt awful for behaving in such a way - he'd been so patient with Ginny, so gentle - it had been weeks, and she still looked at Malfoy like a starving pup at a bone. It was getting old, and though he loved her dearly, he wasn't sure he could stand much more of it.
Draco saw Potter dance past with Cho Chang and instantly felt his eyes dive around looking for Ginny-he saw her disappear into a curtained alcove near the entrance of the room, looking teary and upset.
A surge of anger ripped through him, and he sent a glare at Potter's unsuspecting back - the bloody bastard - and he extracted himself from the clinging blonde Ravenclaw girl he'd been dancing with.
"Hey! What's wrong?" The girl looked up at him, miffed as he set her from him.
"Er - sorry, I have to go, Margaret."
"It's Stacey!" The girl shot at him angrily, her blue eyes furious.
"Right," Draco mumbled carelessly, starting across the room. He'd just see if she was all right - not that he really cared but -
Ginny wiped her eyes with the edge of her topaz colored dress robes, knowing her make - up had been all but ruined, and there was no way she could return to the Ball looking like this –
"Ginny?"
Her head snapped up as Draco's voice called her name softly.
"I'm here," she said quietly, briskly rubbing the remaining tears from her face. Why did he have to see her now?
Draco pushed past the curtains and she took in the magnificent black and silver velvet of his dress robes - tiny snakes were embroidered in silver thread around the collar, and each one had tiny, winking green emeralds for eyes.
She stared at the soft black leather of his boots as her eyes dropped.
"What are you doing here?"
He snorted and she had to bite back a smile.
"It's a Ball - everyone is here."
"I meant, why are you here?" She motioned around the tiny alcove.
"Oh." It was his turn to stare at his boots. "I uh - I was, well, you see - oh, bugger."
He looked at her reproachfully. "I just thought you looked upset. I wanted to see if you were all right." The tone of his voice dared her to make something of it.
"Why do you care?" Her words slipped out unheeded.
His face hardened, and she wanted to break something.
"I don't. In fact, I'll be going now -"
She stepped in front of him. "I know you like me. Why are you being so stupid?"
Draco looked at her lazily. "I'm sure I don't have any idea what you're talking about - maybe you've confused me for Potter again. Although I can't see how that could ever happen."
"I know you find me attractive - I've seen you looking at my breasts," Ginny hissed at Draco as he tried to move away. (A/N: Yes that was a Buffy line! ^-^)
He stopped abruptly and looked at her, an almost amused frown on his face. "No offense, Gin, luv, but when a fellow does that, it just means his eyes are open. Now kindly let loose of my robes - you're crushing the velvet."
Ginny almost bared her teeth in frustration. Before he could say or do anything, she reached up and mussed his perfect, smooth hair with her fingers, and gave him a kiss that was short in duration but that went a long way in making her point known.
She pulled back from him, feeling as if her lips had been seared, and took a deep breath. Draco looked at her through narrowed eyes, looking calm and cold as ever, though she could see his chest moving up and down rapidly beneath his emerald studded robes. He reached up to smooth his almost white hair and frowned down at her from his superior height.
"I don't know what has possessed you, Ginny, but you're imagining things. Why would you think I like you? I don't even know you - haven't I shown my intense dislike toward your family the past few years?"
"Draco, I know you feel something for me," Ginny said stubbornly.
He looked down his nose at her in cool exasperation. "How do you know?" He shook his head and turned to walk away from her again.
"I know…because you never call a Weasley by their first name."
That stopped him more efficiently than if she had put a leg locker curse on him.
Ginny waited, holding her breath, before he finally turned back to her, his pale, sharp features blank.
He looked at her with intense silvery eyes before saying quietly, "So? What if I do? What if what I feel for you goes beyond just liking you? What if I told you that if you knew what I was feeling inside for you right now, it would most likely send you running and screaming like a mad banshee because it's so intense that it scares even me?"
Draco crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, but she could still detect the tremble in them. "Would it matter, Ginny? I am who I am, you are who you are, and neither of us can change that. I can't change. Even if could, what difference would it make? We were born to be enemies-it's always been that way. Who are we to challenge it?" His features hardened as looked her up and down appraisingly.
"Don't worry - one day you'll find a man," Draco murmured, pushing away from Ginny with a cocked eyebrow. "I hear in some cultures, virginity is highly prized." He smirked at her, and straightened.
Ginny couldn't find a word to speak. She just stared at him miserably until he very simply turned and walked away from her.
"You're right, Malfoy…who are we to change the way things are?" She said this in a very cold flat, voice.
He hesitated only briefly and then moved on; Ginny saw a pretty dark haired girl from Slytherin take hold of his arm and his eyes came back to her, intense over the girl's head momentarily before he allowed her to drag him off for a dance.
Ginny let herself collapse on a window seat deep inside the cold, dark alcove and she cried out all she was feeling until she could barely breathe, could barely see, or hear. Hermione came much later, holding her close, and then leading her up to her bed, like any best friend would.
"Harry was with Cho for the rest of the night," Hermione was muttering as she smoothed the covers over Ginny. "That was just plain thoughtless. I thought you two had finally worked things out, that you were there together."
Ginny pulled a pillow over her head. "It's not his fault - I wasn't being much of a date, I'm afraid."
Hermione sat next to her on the bed and tugged the pillow from her face. "It was Draco again wasn't it."
Ginny nodded without speaking.
After a moment, Ginny pushed Hermione from the bed. "I'm not going to be responsible for ruining anyone else's night-go back to Ron. Now. Scoot!"
Hermione hugged her before turning and moving hesitantly away.
Ginny hugged her pillow to her chest and listened to the howl of the winter wind outside, and the lonely beating of her own heart.
~***~
Draco left the Ball as soon as Ginny did - he couldn't stay in the room full of happy people any longer - it was making him properly ill.
He retrieved his cloak, scarf, and gloves, and went out into the dark night, hoping the cold would clear his mind.
~***~
Ginny went outside to get some air - she hadn't been able to sleep, and had suddenly wanted to be out amongst the cold, cleansing wind and sparkling moonlit snow.
She walked down by the lake, retracing the steps she'd seen Draco take many times before.
She watched the wind swirl small drifts of sparkling snow across the icy lake in delicate, eddying circles.
Her toes became numb in her shoes before she turned around, clutching her cloak closed against her throat.
Draco stood behind her, his eyes matching the icy sheen of the lake, his hair blowing across his eyes in the wind. He looked like he was in his element.
Ginny stepped closer to him after the surprise at seeing him wore off.
"I think it's my turn to ask what you're doing here," he said softly.
She smiled despite herself. "Just walking. Sorry if I invaded your fortress of solitude."
He smiled at that, but only briefly. "You look frozen."
Her teeth chattered embarrassingly in answer.
He hesitated, and then reached out resignedly to take her hand.
She gave it to him happily.
Draco pulled her close to his side, and they began walking back up to the castle.
Ginny wrinkled her nose and sniffled, pausing behind Draco in the snow.
He felt her pause and turned back, an annoyed look on his face. "What is it?"
She brushed her gloved fingers over her tiny nose. "I think a snowflake went up my nose," she muttered, shooting him a look that dared him to laugh.
He looked up at the black winter sky momentarily, a smile playing on his lips. She saw him swallow whatever he was going to say.
"Come on."
Ginny found herself smiling slightly as she followed him into the warmth of the entrance hall.
They'd said a hasty goodnight and moved off in opposite directions before either realized they'd just spent a good fifteen minutes together without one insult or unkind word.
~***~
TBC