"Horizon" from Mass Effect 2 / "Ninth Chapter Sky, One" from Drakengard

XXXVII. Horizon

(Shepard)

Raw, broiling anger had me steaming as I sat at my desk in my private cabin.

Staring at these classified Cerberus files about the Migrant Fleet, I knew what was going on.

I knew what Miranda and the Illusive Man were up to—what they assumed, and what they believed.

I drank from my bottle of water with a clear sense of irony. Iron-hot irony; pissed off to hell and back.

The Illusive Man had sent me these files on the Idenna to give to Tali and her father. He'd sent them to me during a convenient time: when Miranda had miraculously changed her mind about including Tali in our sex life. He'd encouraged me to give these to Admiral Rael'Zorah, to get him to change his mind about Cerberus, and Tali as well…as if that was the real issue here. The Illusive Man was so fucking self-absorbed that he seriously thought Tali's opinion of Cerberus could change. Just a few files and everything would be fine. Just a few details to clear the air, and then she'd no longer be a problem.

I knew that Miranda and the Illusive Man feared that Tali would sway me away from them.

But they'd already done it themselves. They didn't need Tali to do it for them. This was the fracture.

I couldn't point out the obvious, glaring truth to Miranda, because she would blow up at me instead.

I couldn't confront the Illusive Man, because he'd give me some bullshit about how this was necessary.

I couldn't share all of this with Tali, because she was bound to hate me once I confessed the truth to her about Liara anyway.

I couldn't do anything except sit at my desk and fume while the Normandy was on its way to Horizon.

I needed to figure this out. I needed to find a solution. Because I only had about two hours before the next briefing started for the mission; before I needed to focus-up again. I had to come up with a plan.

I had to, because I couldn't stay in this same stasis from the past few days.

Whenever I wasn't around Miranda, I was pissed off at her. I couldn't stand her. I almost hated her for thinking I was stupid enough to fall for this fucking ruse. I started questioning how much I liked her, and how deep this went. I didn't enjoy seeing this side of Miranda at all: this too-naïve side, this too-trusting side, and this too-shady side, with everything reminding me of how we'd met in the first place. Obviously, she'd spent her entire adult life with Cerberus, sneaking around and staying in the shadows. Lying, manipulating, and following whatever made the most logical sense to guide her actions. If the data showed that she and the Illusive Man could use Tali to keep me around, then they would sure as hell use Tali to keep me around. If Tali's own dossier said that her feelings for me had her compromised, then they would absolutely compromise her—using me as a carrot on a stick, dangling it in front of her.

Then, like earlier today, as soon as I was around Miranda again, or even whenever I messaged her again, I went right back to adoring her. I wanted to touch her, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to do more than that. Her beauty had me blinded, and her blindness to the real truth had my heart aching for her instead. I didn't want to blame her anymore. I wanted to baby her, and insist that the Illusive Man was just gaslighting her—even though Miranda was a grown woman, and she should have known better than this. Even though we had made our promises to each other about being honest, and she was the one who broke them already.

Every single time I thought about holding Miranda in my arms again, every excuse in the galaxy came pouring out from my very pores. I wanted to shelter her. I wanted to believe that she only had the best of intentions. I wanted to shield her from any accountability whatsoever and just…move on with her.

And yet I would think about the letter she'd written to me: the one in response to what I'd surprised her with before. Before all of this drama had started. In Miranda's own words in this letter—now face-down on my desk—she had again stressed how she only wanted me to herself. No one else in our way. No one getting between us. She didn't want any other woman standing in her way. Perfectly exclusive.

I couldn't even look at her damn letter without burning up all over again.

I knew that I would cool off, and soften, and melt once I saw her later on… I accepted this. Inevitably so.

But nothing could stop this flow of hatred I now had for the Illusive Man.

Whether it was because he victimized Miranda—or because he thought I was dumb enough for him to manipulate, even though we'd already established otherwise…those reasons were secondary.

Secondary to my jealousy. My envy that he had enough power over her to do this in the first place.

Not that I ever would—but if anyone was going to manipulate Miranda at all, then it should've been me!

Sitting here in front of my terminal, I stared at the model ships I had on display, rising in front of me. The ones from the Migrant Fleet stayed most visible. Past this glass, on the table near my refrigerator, I saw the framed picture I had of Tali and me. Of course, she was happy to play this role with me. But I couldn't let it go on. I didn't want anyone to keep taking advantage of her like this. She didn't deserve it.

I feared that the only way to fix this problem was to shatter Tali's perception of me.

But I couldn't keep going off of my own assumptions.

I needed some more evidence first.

"EDI," I said.

"Yes, Shepard?" she responded.

"Are you able to pull up the logs of our QEC calls with the Illusive Man? Or are you restricted?"

"Due to the nature of my restrictions, I can only retrieve the audio logs for these calls. As with your enhanced surveillance permissions, the Illusive Man and Miranda are unaware that I am able to do this."

I should have thought of this earlier. "Could you send me the one from Miranda's most recent talk with him? From after I woke up in the med bay. Before our meeting with Tali, Jack, and the rest of the team."

"Retrieving it now," complied EDI. I saw the alert to my email. "I have sent you the logs."

"Thanks, EDI. Hold on while I listen to this."

"Standing by."

As I listened to this debriefing between Miranda and the Illusive Man, they confirmed everything for me:

"Are you concerned about the quarian?"

"After so much loss, this is her chance to be fully honest with Shepard. Now is her time to act. Don't you agree?"

"Of course, Sir. I'll…take the time to think it over. To prepare."

"If she has his approval to have Shepard in any capacity, then this will only embolden her. Doubly so if Joker and Garrus Vakarian are in on this."

"And I suppose you should know…that I initially forbade Shepard from getting involved with anyone else. When I made those stipulations, I wasn't thinking about the bigger picture. Or this obvious, glaring problem."

"If she can accept being Shepard's second priority, with you as the clear first, the three of you will be just fine."

"For now, we need to squash this Cerberus issue with Tali'Zorah."

"Perhaps Tali'Zorah's sway over Shepard will act as that backup plan you anguished over before. You were convinced that there was no safety net, should you somehow run afoul of Shepard's needs in the future. Something tells me that this is the answer you were looking for."

All of that, along with something about Tali's clairvoyance with me—and some other logs of a private conversation between her and Liara.

I remembered now, how back in the day, Tali seemed to know way more about me than she should have. It was a feeling I'd had. A feeling she'd given off. She still gave me the same feeling today. Like she knew everything about me—

Had Liara…told Tali how I felt?

Without my permission.

Everything—including my hidden, private thoughts. Every single intimate, embarrassing detail.

And now Miranda knew that Tali knew.

And now Miranda assumed that Tali was a threat—even though she wasn't.

I knew it was true—because I remembered. I fucking remembered my birthday on Thessia, when we'd gone to that mall. Liara and Tali had been following me that night. Acting strangely. Clearly busy talking about me. This was what they'd talked about. This was why they'd acted so out-of-character with me!

…

Gripping my fists in front of my steaming face was all I could do to keep from screaming.

EDI actually sounded worried about me: "Shepard? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, EDI," I grunted, not even thinking about how I sounded. "I'm fine."

"I may not be able to see you directly. However, I can sense your diagnostics. Your stress levels have spiked exponentially, and you are currently experiencing a large build-up of heated moisture behind your eyes. You are…crying. Perhaps out of frustration over the logs I shared with you. I feel responsible."

I didn't even realize it until she said the words—this hot stream of tears streamed down my clenched knuckles, as transparent anger over the white-hot bones beneath my skin.

"It isn't your fault, EDI," I promised, sniffling now. "I had a feeling about this for a while. You proved that I was right. I needed to know. Even though it hurts…I had to know the truth. Not knowing was worse."

"It is preferable then to know the full truth? Despite whatever pain it may bring. You still wish to know?"

"After everything that happened in the past—yeah. I'd rather know…sooner instead of later. It's better to see the full picture this way. I can make plans and take action instead of just reacting down the line."

EDI considered this for a moment. "I see," she said, enlightened. "Then may I share another log with you? It is my hope that this will provide more context for Miranda's preoccupation with protecting you."

Protecting me—or sneaking around behind my back when she didn't need to.

"Sure. Send it over to me. I might as well know now."

Another alert to my email.

Another painful blow to my emotions…but this time in a different way.

This was from that night. That night when I had killed Ashley. That night when Miranda had been terrified of me—when she'd called the Illusive Man after confessing everything to me in her office. I had left her alone; she had gone to him for comfort. For a debriefing. For a distant comfort from her so-called father.

"How did it go?"

The Illusive Man's cordial desire for an update.

And Miranda's sniffling. Her fears. Her quieted crying, constricted.

"I know what you're afraid of. You're scared that you'll mess up somehow. That Shepard won't show any mercy, should you cross her. But you already know that won't come to pass. It's frankly impossible. And you already know why that is."

He was right.

As much as I despised him…the Illusive Man had it right.

Because if this was anyone else, I would have erupted by now. I would have thrown everything in the incinerator and crushed their heart along with it. I would have walked away from what we had. But I couldn't. I couldn't leave Miranda. I couldn't, all for one simple reason:

"No one in this galaxy is more dedicated to her than you are. No one, in all of creation, could hope to make the same sacrifices you have made, and still live to tell the tale. No one loves her more than you do."

Listening to the rest—and how Miranda couldn't stop crying throughout—I felt my convictions swelling.

I had found her that night after she'd had this talk with him.

I had caught Miranda from falling into the worst of her despair.

No matter how envious I was of the Illusive Man, he couldn't do what I had done for her. This did help to balance things out…maybe. Sort of. For the time being.

I was curious now about what else he had said: the Illusive Man had apparently watched Miranda struggle with her feelings for me. Ever since she'd joined Cerberus all those years ago when she was seventeen or eighteen.

"EDI, are you able to find any other conversations between them? From way back when."

"The Illusive Man has kept extensive audio and video logs of his discussions with Miranda. I may be able to locate ones that are emotionally relevant to your situation. However, if I attempt to retrieve them now, it is possible that I will be detected. I am only able to view the databases where the logs are kept."

"That's okay," I accepted. "Maybe we can find a way around it later. It's not an urgent thing."

"Would you like to share your thoughts with me? I imagine the truth about Tali is particularly troubling."

"Yeah, it is… I'm keeping a secret of my own from her. All this time, I've felt guilty about it, seeing Tali as this perfectly innocent friend of mine. But she's been lying to me this whole time, too. Ever since my last birthday when I was still alive. She clearly has no intentions of telling me what she knows. Her loyalty to Liara is more important than being honest with me. So that shows me exactly where she stands on this."

EDI wondered, "Is Tali's dishonesty more egregious than Miranda's? They both wish to keep you."

"Logically speaking, no," I replied. "Neither of them have bad intentions. But I don't think you can apply fairness in this situation. Tali is purposely choosing not to tell me the truth. Miranda has the Illusive Man gaslighting her into bending her tolerances, just like he's always done. It's not the same."

"And now that you are armed with more knowledge, what is the root of your feelings on the matter?"

"The root of my feelings…?" Taking a minute, I realized what she meant. "I think, with Tali, I feel—betrayed. This whole time, she's had access to my private thoughts. Things that I'd assumed only Liara knew about. But that wasn't the case. I don't know, I guess it's kind of embarrassing, too. I'm exposed to her now. There's so much in my mind—thoughts and feelings, most of which I'm not even aware of—and she knows about everything. I feel like, if Tali really did love me, then she wouldn't keep something like this from me. Better yet, she wouldn't have asked Liara for the information in the first place…"

More than I could admit to EDI right now, I hated that I hadn't known about all of this.

I regretted even thinking for a second that I could trust Tali the way I had recently.

I regretted my own need to be fully honest with her when she couldn't even do the same for me.

This whole thing made my crush on Tali start to change, burning differently in the heat of my anger.

EDI already knew: "Despite all of this, you still wish to continue your relationship with Miranda?"

"You have the logs, EDI. You know what the Illusive Man told me about this—about her learning the truth about Cerberus. I told Miranda that I would be patient for her. She has no idea what I meant. I meant this. I fully intend on keeping my word to her. There's no going back at this point. I can't leave."

"I understand. I suppose I am curious as to your reasoning. They have both committed similar offenses, yet you say it is not the same. They have both lied, yet you only accept the behavior from one person."

For once, I wasn't the one looking at things too logically.

"EDI, listen to me. I know for a fact that this isn't fair. It's not clear-cut. But I've made up my mind. Miranda is the only one I want like this. I'm choosing to make exceptions for her because I want to, not because I feel forced. Yeah, I'm pissed off…but I can see myself setting this aside. She's worth it. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I used to think it was impossible. This feels like a miracle."

"…I see. I believe I can sympathize—on a logical level. You are my captain, Shepard. I value you in the sense that I prioritize your well-being above everyone else aboard the ship. If there ever came a time where I was forced to choose between you and the other crewmembers, I would always choose you. Even if it were more practical or utilitarian not to do so. You lead a solitary existence, rarely sharing your feelings with other organics. It is my hope that you might also view me as an exception. I care for you."

Even though EDI was just an AI, I felt only the truest sincerity in her soothing voice. Disembodied and all.

That sincerity got to me. "Thanks, EDI… You've helped me out a lot. You're like my second pair of eyes on the ship. Without you, I wouldn't be on this path with Miranda at all. You are my friend. Especially now that I'm going to lose one pretty soon. I'm going to have to deal with Tali in the next week or so."

"I am glad to have your friendship, Shepard," she said, almost as if she could have smiled. "How do you plan on proceeding with Tali in the near future? I worry that any sort of confrontation may end badly."

"It's unavoidable. Once things settle down, I'll tell Tali the truth I've been keeping from her. She'll hate me—and she'll probably only want to be on the team as my coworker, not my friend. I'll tell Miranda about her reaction. We'll move on. No more drama."

"You would hurt Tali with the truth in order to preserve your monogamous pursuits with Miranda?"

"Yes, I have to at this point. I'm shutting it down."

On that note, I took another look at these model ships from the Migrant Fleet decorating my space.

I took them off of the display handles.

I brought them with me to the unused drawers at the table by my refrigerator.

I put the ships in the drawers. The Rayya, the Neema—all of them. Away and out of sight.

That picture of Tali and me was also here, sitting on top of this same table. The one I'd framed of us.

I couldn't put it away. I still didn't have the heart to do it. So I just turned the picture around for now.

That so-called arrangement wasn't going to happen. Period.

I remembered clearly that I'd wanted this with Ash, as part of our agreement with our old contract.

But things were different now. Completely different.

It wasn't meant to be.

I left to take a shower, to wash off these sorrows and frustrations. I couldn't let any of this get in the way of the mission. Just as I wouldn't let anything get in between what Miranda and I had together—directly or indirectly, on purpose or otherwise. Fighting for her in the shadows was all I could do for now—with my patience—until we could have a real talk in the light. No matter how long it took. She was absolutely worth it.

Prepared for anything, I geared up in my stealth suit. Hair slicked back, tied back, flowing down in this long tail trailing down my spine. Shoulders back, attitude set—I made my way to the comm room once it was time for the briefing. As I went, I did find it funny and strange that Miranda made team-wide announcements for these types of things without sending an email out. They all must've had a new chat room together.

Miranda was probably sure I'd figure it out soon. There was no real need for her to tell me herself.

I did enjoy that everyone had a way to vent and bond with each other without me around. It was sweet.

But I let none of that show on my face as I entered the comm room.

Unreadable, stoic—I showed no reaction once everyone quieted down, as I expected them to.

And I saw that everyone was here already: Miranda, Legion, Mordin, Zaeed, Garrus, Jack, and Tali.

Miranda and Legion had resumed their places closest to me, here at the head of the table. From now on, it really was better for Tali to be next to Garrus instead, over there. I was grateful for her mask, too, keeping me from spotting the actual expression on her face. I didn't want to see her right now.

Miranda betrayed next to nothing as she gave me her complete attention. Professional as always.

Only the focus of her stare gave her away—how she wouldn't even blink as she looked on at me.

Her presence by my side, unwavering, gave me the conviction I needed to lead, as I began the briefing:

"We're almost at Horizon. It's a simple farming colony out in the Terminus Systems. The Illusive Man tells us that communications across Horizon have gone dark. It's very likely that the Collectors are abducting the colonists as we speak. We need to get down there and see this with our own eyes; find out anything else we can about their methods and what they're up to. Depending on how this goes, we might be able to stop the Collectors before they abduct the entire colony. Our main objective is to find out more information, one way or another, and chase the Collectors out.

"Another important point involves the Alliance. One of our former teammates, Kaidan Alenko, is stationed out here with the military. The Alliance is supposedly doing outreach with the colonists to improve relations with everyone living in the Terminus Systems. Whatever the case, I'd like us to find Kaidan if we can. I want to bring him back on the team. It's a long-shot, considering he's no friend of Cerberus, plus some other drama involving the old team. But our second objective is to locate him."

Garrus let me know, "Hey, Commander, we were able to tell Kaidan the whole story. He reacted as badly as you'd expect. I'm not sure if he'll come back to the team. It's a long-shot, like you said. Still, we all have history together. If you can talk to him, get through to him somehow, you might change his mind."

"I figured as much," I said. "Kaidan will be upset with us. There's no getting around it. I'll do what I can." I looked to Mordin next. "Do you have that countermeasure ready for us? With the seeker swarms."

"Yes, complete!" replied Mordin. "Already coordinated with Zaeed to upgrade all armor sets with protections. In limited numbers, should confuse detection, make us invisible to swarms. In theory."

"In theory?" questioned Garrus. "That sounds promising."

"Experimental technology. Only test is contact with seeker swarms. Have to test them in-person. Should be exciting."

I continued on, "Horizon is going to be a unique challenge for us all. We haven't encountered the Collectors directly before. Most of our investigation will involve learning and analyzing the enemy for the first time. We'll need to improvise. With that in mind, everyone's coming along for this mission. I have my orders to give out to each of you at this moment. More importantly, I need you to be flexible. Adapt quickly. My orders on the field can change at any time. You need to be prepared for that."

The team each gave me their verbal affirmation, their understanding. Their skills were critical to the success of our mission. But everything hinged on my adaptability. My flexibility, and my analysis. My orders mattered. From the seriousness about the room, I had a feeling that they all knew what the reality was.

"I'll generally stay cloaked and scout around as needed. Miranda, I want you to take point and lead the team through the colony. Analyze the enemy's defenses and weaknesses. We need a full account of what we're up against. Once we have a better idea, I'll be able to tailor my orders more effectively."

Miranda gave me her firm response, "Understood, Commander. I'll prioritize analysis over combat."

"Good. Garrus, Legion—you two hang back and snipe from a distance. Cover the main group's flanks."

"Roger that, Commander," replied Garrus. "Legion and I will stick together."

"Acknowledged," responded Legion.

"Jack, Tali, Zaeed, and Mordin will make up the main group. Follow Miranda; kill everything in sight. Mordin and Zaeed, team up for fire explosions on any armored or unshielded enemies we come across. Jack, you can pick off any stragglers with your biotic charge. And Tali, when it's safe, go ahead and scavenge any Collector materials out in the field. We'll bring them back to them ship later for study."

Jack nodded. "You got it."

"Will do, Shepard," said Tali.

Zaeed cracked his knuckles. "Let's gut the bastards."

Mordin answered, "Yes, of course."

"Head to the armory and gear up with your weapons. Then we'll go to the cargo hold, and take the shuttle down to the colony. It'll be cramped, but we'll just have to deal with it. Let's get in and get this done."

Pale sunlight blared through the thin, misty clouds overhead. The colony's sky stretched on in a discolored blue, dyed and woolen from the heat and deadness all around. Those same deadened hues had spread to the tall grass, the vegetation, and the trees and leaves all around. Those leaves swayed in the intense winds from the shuttle dropping us off planetside, my team and I getting our boots on the ground as soon as possible. The buzzing bugs from the Collectors' seeker swarms flitted all around, disturbed by the winds, but otherwise choosing to ignore us. Invisible to the swarms, we could move on unhindered.

Like the end-of-days, Horizon looked and felt abandoned.

The Collectors had to have been loading up those human-sized pods with their victims, onto the ship:

Such a gigantic Collector Cruiser loomed overhead, already having landed on the colony: the size of that tall, cylindrical ship rose up as browns and silvers. At the apex of the skies, the top of the cruiser reached the vortex-like swirl of the darker, harsher clouds there. Bolts of lightning raged on from that center point in the sky, foreboding. Yet the colony's farmlands stretched onward in the distance, untouched.

Miranda wasted no time in pressing forward, leading the team ahead. Jack, Tali, Zaeed, and Mordin followed closely behind. Meanwhile, Legion and Garrus stayed back a fair distance, sniper rifles drawn.

While they went on, I cloaked and started scouting around.

I noticed the huge defense guns scattered across the colony. They seemed…out of place. And useless, since they hadn't managed to stop the Collectors from getting here. Did they even work? Probably not.

Miranda led the team into an outdoor compound with plenty of cover around.

As they arrived, I heard the sudden, distinct sounds of more buzzing, and flapping insect wings. Those bipedal bodies, large, vaulted heads, round bright lights for eyes, and thick, layered skin the same color as cockroaches: a large unit of Collectors flew down from somewhere up above, starting the attack, firing their particle rifles.

Staying cloaked, I stopped to watch the team engage the enemy.

Everyone took cover—except for Jack, who charged headlong at a trooper, sending it flying. She kept on.

Mordin and Zaeed burned more troopers alive, bursts of Incinerate and inferno grenades heating up the battlefield. Some of these Collectors had solid defenses keeping them safe from the flames.

Garrus and Legion popped off headshots with ease from their shared perch in the back. But, again, some of their shots failed to make their mark. Those defenses got in their way, forcing them to shoot more. I figured I could snipe through those safeguards easily. I held off for now, not wanting to draw attention.

Tali already had enough cover to safely scavenge materials from the fallen Collector corpses so far.

Miranda communicated via the team's radio, "Commander, I have an initial analysis. It looks like most of these Collector units have strong kinetic barriers. They're biotic users, but they're choosing to focus their attacks with the particle rifles webbed directly to their skin. We may have to deal with the biotics later."

"That makes sense," I responded. "It's no wonder Jack's the only one making a dent through their defenses. Miranda, go ahead and use your warp strikes to get rid of those barriers. Everyone else can keep focusing on anything with simple health. Keep analyzing as we go along. I'm moving ahead."

"Of course. Switching up now."

I scouted the next area, of what looked like a plaza outside of a housing complex. This simple residential area should have been bustling with colonists—walking up and down the stairs, sitting outside on the tables socializing, or lounging at home. Instead, the place was deserted. Only the trees and plants gave off any life. Too much like Freedom's Progress, everyone had been uprooted from here. I also saw a few of those pods sitting out in the open. I expected Tali to get to them when she could for any scavenging.

As the team moved in, I spotted a huge wave of Collectors incoming—along with a bunch of husks.

The others couldn't see the sheer amount of enemies headed their way.

As everyone fought what was in front of them, I gave the order, "There are heavy reinforcements behind this wave. Conserve energy. Don't burn yourselves out. Jack, that means you, too."

Jack pulled out her shotgun instead. "You don't want me to use any powers at all?"

"There are a ton of husks on the way. Use your shockwave for some crowd control on them. Other than that, I want you to hold off for now. Focus on shooting as much as you can."

"Got it, Shepard."

Ambitious, Miranda led the charge forward through the housing area. She made quick work of those kinetic barriers with her warp strikes, leaving the others to pick off the exposed troopers. Even though she wasn't anywhere near Jack's raw power level, I trusted her control over her abilities. Her stamina and her knowledge of her own limits arguably made her more useful than Jack's expected rampaging.

I saw that disparity more and more as the team pushed past the reinforcements.

Going ahead to a denser compound, Miranda took cover inside one of the houses. She used her vantage point to rain down constant strikes against the troopers in the courtyard. Cautious, the rest of the team stayed outside, taking cover behind various Collector pods. They almost couldn't keep up with how many enemies Miranda made available for them. Over and over, I saw the repeats of her ambitions: those targeted flashes of dark energy searing forth from her perch. How she aimed her open palm at her targets. How she put her focus, and her emotion into her powers, quickly disintegrating those barriers.

Jack started to feel some competitive pressure. She knew she couldn't keep up by just firing her shotgun over and over. Having to reload after every shot slowed her down. And each time she did have the freedom to send off a shockwave, clacks of skipping force hopscotching across the courtyard, sending Collectors flying, Jack raged harder and harder. She clearly didn't like Miranda showing her up; she hated having to hold back. But she was smart enough to follow my orders. She kept on shooting.

The problem only persisted once everyone headed through to the next area, fighting harder.

While they carried on, I spotted something unusual here by the stairs in the compound. There were two colonists in stasis. Frozen in this not-moving position, with one person trying to help someone up who had fallen. They must've been trying to run away from the Collectors abducting everyone. Only to get trapped like this. I could barely see the life still in their eyes—they weren't dead. Just…stuck like this.

I saw the same story inside another house. Someone else was frozen there, hiding behind cover.

There wasn't anything we could do for them now.

I could only hope this stasis would end once we forced the Collectors the hell out of here.

As this time passed, the skies grew murkier. I spotted the change up above this wider, more open courtyard past all the houses. One of those useless defense guns stared out to the horizon. And I noticed a wide door off to the side, across the courtyard, looking like an entrance to some kind of secure bunker.

We couldn't get there until we dealt with this small army of Collectors in our way.

Right as the team charged into that army, I took note of the change:

Of those Collectors, one looked like it had been possessed—glowing with golden power, it transformed into something much more powerful. Stronger kinetic barriers and tough plates of armor glowed as that gold over the Collector's form. Some deep, menacing voice filtered through the battlefield. Piercing through the barrage of fire explosions, warp strikes, and sniper shots, I heard someone say: "I AM ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL." That control made this possessed unit fire off biotic strikes at my team, pummeling the main group at once. Only Miranda and Jack could deal with the sudden onslaught.

Zaeed staggered back in pain. "Where the hell did that come from?!"

Mordin rushed to take cover. "Shields failing!" he reported. "Need to apply medi-gel. Unsustainable!"

Tali also hid next to Mordin. "It's covering for the rest of them—we can't punch through!"

Miranda couldn't get a single warp strike in with this constant volley of biotic attacks. Jack could only fire off her shotgun at a few unprotected enemies off to the side. Pinned down, this was all she could do.

Neither Garrus nor Legion's shots could penetrate those defenses. Seeing the rest of the team pinned down, they kept shooting out of desperation. They only wasted their ammo like this.

"That thing's possessed!" I said, readying my sniper rifle. "Everyone, stay down! I'll deal with this."

Aiming, precise, concentration slowing down time: I fired my Widow.

The single shot pierced right through the possessed unit's head. It faded to black, disintegrating.

Garrus praised me, "Nice work there, Shepard! Quick and easy!"

Legion explained, "These Collectors appear to hold remnants of the Old Machines. We have traced and analyzed these remnants. They belong to one named Harbinger."

"A Reaper called Harbinger?" I questioned, right as it possessed another Collector unit. "Fine, I'll take these out. The rest of you handle everything else."

I was on full-time duty defeating these Harbinger units that kept popping up, back to back, back to back.

As soon as I sniped one down, another trooper got possessed, powering up.

Powering up and pushing back against my team, beating them down with its biotics.

I couldn't hesitate—I fired off my shots as quickly as I could. Even with the sounds of everyone's suffering blaring through our radio. Even worse were the constant sounds of Harbinger announcing the same fucking things—"ASSUMING CONTROL. WE ARE HARBINGER. ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL"—over and over and over and over again.

Every time it spouted off some shit about, "This hurts you," while my squad screamed in pain, I had to fight to keep concentrating. Staring up near the sun in the sky, I wished I could assume direct control of Harbinger and send it there—straight into the sun itself. Anything to stop this insanity going on.

The team couldn't take much more of this.

Miranda was all right. Again, she knew herself well enough to keep pushing on, smartly so.

Legion and Garrus seemed okay, having stayed back to avoid the worst of those biotic volleys.

Jack's kinetic barriers held up against the damage, but I sensed her energy reserves dwindling fast. She was bound to tire herself out.

And everyone else…

I felt like I had just sent them off to slaughter.

These Collectors were no joke.

We managed to kill everything in front of us. The reinforcements stopped coming in. So Miranda led everyone over to that bunker, hacking the security on the door. The others limped after her, most of them nearly out of commission. I uncloaked and followed them inside, making sure Zaeed, Mordin, Tali, Legion, Garrus, and Jack got into the chilled, enclosed safety of this space. Masking her worries over everyone's injuries, Miranda was meticulous in locking the bunker back behind us.

Zaeed staggered to the ground, gripping a gaping wound in his side.

Mordin's entire lab coat had coated murky green with his blood; but he kept applying medi-gel anyway.

Tali had multiple suit punctures, and worked to contain them quickly before any infections set in.

Jack had already collapsed and passed out from exhaustion.

Garrus had a few scuffs in his armor. He was able to help Zaeed with the spare medi-gel here on the wall. Legion did the same with Tali, assisting her with her suit and her injuries cutting beneath. I knew if the two of them had been on the frontlines, they would have ended up the same way as everyone else.

Miranda stared at the team with the same dread I felt:

They couldn't go on like this.

Seeing Tali like this especially, knowing she could die if she got an infection…I had to get them back out:

"Joker, come in," I said, hoping he responded. "Ground team to Normandy, do you read me?"

No response.

No signal.

Feeling the weight of this situation, I almost questioned my decisions and orders so far.

Even telling everyone to hold back and play it safe had led them to this state.

I'd had no choice except to put down those Harbinger troopers immediately.

I wondered if I should have spoken up. Addressed my team. Tried to lift their spirits after this setback. Because through their pain, I saw the disappointment in their eyes. They felt like they had failed me; I felt like I had failed them. They couldn't go on like this, yet they still wanted to fight. I felt responsible, as I should have. I felt even worse, watching Tali in so much pain as she sat on the ground. Garrus held her close, talking her through this waiting; reassuring her that everything would be all right.

Miranda couldn't look at me, or anyone else. Whatever had been on her mind lately began to worsen.

Sudden nerves bunched in my stomach the second I tried to speak to everyone, to lift their spirits.

The weight of this near-game over kept me from finding the words I needed. The right words.

Just as I was about to let something stumble out of my mouth, we heard strong knocking on the door.

"Hello!?" called a man's coarse voice on the other side. "Hello, is anyone in there? I saw a bunch of people go in here, and I had to follow you! Please, could you open the door?!"

That voice…

Garrus asked, "Is that…?"

It was.

I hurried to unlock the door.

Heavily-armored in his Alliance blue plates, Kaidan staggered inside.

Short of breath, assault rifle drawn, he had lowered his guard, knowing already that we weren't the enemy. Ample sweat dripped down from his forehead, but with the slicked style of his short dark hair still in-tact somehow, miraculously. Before he even saw me, he spotted Tali next to Garrus—the state she was in. He rushed over to her.

"Tali?!" worried Kaidan. "My God, you're hurt! What happened out there?"

Garrus explained, "It was hell, that's what. We can't go on like this."

Kaidan looked around at my team. Even as he fretted over everyone's injuries—especially Tali's—I saw that slow, gradual recognition fill his gaze. Those gentle brown eyes of his that I'd remembered, filled with warmth, began to chill to a frozen state. Frozen anger, freezing more as he noticed Miranda standing alone in a corner of the bunker. That Cerberus logo on her uniform—that colder stare from her, as she analyzed Kaidan, waiting for his next move, as if daring him to make a mistake.

Noticing that icy gale from my queen, Kaidan paused. He'd clearly heard the news about us together.

Staring at me now with his hardened disbelief, Kaidan found the truth of the rest, here in my eyes.

Leaving his concerns for Tali behind, he stood up to face me properly.

I saw Ashley's memory in his stare. His lingering loyalty toward her. His resentments over what I'd done.

"Commander," stated Kaidan. Formal, direct.

"Kaidan," I responded. "How did you get here without getting attacked by those swarms?"

"I got lucky. There was a huge swarm behind me while I ran here. You saved my life by letting me in."

"Did the Collectors attack you, too? Or have you just been on the run?"

Furtive, Kaidan said, "I was off-duty when that huge ship landed. The colonists didn't want me here, anyway. Even if I could've helped, they might not have accepted anything from me. They all hate the Alliance. They don't trust us."

I caught his double-meaning there.

"And those defense towers outside—are those from the Alliance, too?"

"Sure are… High-powered GARDIAN lasers. Supposed to keep hostile ships from landing near the colony. Except they don't work. We haven't been able to get them online."

"We can use them against the Collector ship," I decided. "There should be a way for us to get them working. We just need the location. Can you show us where they are?"

Kaidan pointed in the right direction, explaining, "Head for the transmitter on the other side of the colony. Pretty hard to miss. The targeting controls are at the base." He glanced around at all of my injured teammates again. "You'll have a hell of a time getting over there. Those Collectors are in the way. I bet they'll have their strongest forces protecting the transmitter. You might not make it."

"Then come with us, Kaidan."

Feeling the urgency of the moment, he couldn't put up a fight at a time like this.

"Okay, Commander… The sooner we get that Collector ship out of here, the sooner you can get your people to safety. After that, we should talk. It's long-overdue, I think."

"Agreed."

Mordin had patched himself up enough by now. "Here, protections for seeker swarms," he offered, using his omni-tool to coat Kaidan's armor with the countermeasure. "Will keep you invisible to detection. No stasis, no danger. Should be safe."

"Thanks a lot… I appreciate it."

Satisfied, Mordin went to give medical assistance to those who needed it.

I made up my mind: "Garrus, Legion. You stay here. Stand guard. I'll send the shuttle to come pick you up as soon as I can. Help get everyone to the med bay."

"Understood," said Legion.

Garrus nodded. "No problem."

"Miranda, Kaidan, you're with me. It's up to us to get those defense towers online. Since you're both sentinels, I expect you to have some solid synergy on the field. You two coordinate your plan of attack."

Less chilly, Miranda approached Kaidan directly. "Commander Alenko. I assume you know who I am."

Slightly flustered now, Kaidan fought it back. "Yeah, I got the run-down on everything," he confirmed. "Miranda Lawson, was it? And you're a fellow sentinel. Good to know. The Collectors prefer to stay packed in their groups. It's like they're networked together. We should take advantage of the crowds."

"My thoughts exactly. If you have any direct biotic abilities, I could prime or detonate them with my warp strikes, depending on what's in your arsenal."

"Well, I have my own barriers for some strong damage protection. And I have Reave for even more defense. I'm pretty tanky. If you have Warp, then we could set off our explosions in any order. I hit first or you hit first, it won't matter. Both will go off. Should be powerful enough for some crowd control."

"That sounds perfect," approved Miranda, looking to me. "And we'll of course have our sniper to take out those possessed Collector troops. Would you like us to simply focus on our biotic explosions?"

"Yes, that's the plan," I settled, getting Kaidan on our team's radio frequency. "You and Kaidan take point together. Push forward. I'll follow you. Let's move out."

Kaidan readied his assault rifle. "All set, Commander!"

Miranda prepared her submachine gun as well. "As am I."

Sniper rifle at the ready, I was about to leave the bunker, out to the other side.

But then I heard Tali's small, pained voice, calling out from behind me—"Shepard…"

Pained in-heart, I turned to look at her over my shoulder. Whatever her true expression was behind her mask, I could feel it this time. I sensed it. And it made me regret having to leave her behind. It made me regret too much. Yet I had to finish the mission without her. I had to get her out of here, and back to the ship.

Looking to Garrus instead, he gave me an encouraging nod. Promising without words to take care of her.

Letting that promise mend my regrets, I left with Miranda and Kaidan, determination brimming more.

Closer to the Collector ship now, the environment had changed.

That swirling vortex overhead had widened in scope, twisting those clouds to a new horizon. Chaos and red, lightning and insanity: power on top of power, that mood permeated the winds. As if the air around us had changed to emergency-red lighting itself, the colony had fallen to a full mayday of panic. As the only ones still outside, able to avoid the swarms that had paralyzed all else, Miranda and Kaidan moved with me as a true response to this apocalypse. We hurried through this last housing compound as quickly as we could, even with the Collectors sending everything they had at us. We had to keep going.

Urgency and anger, emotion and more—Kaidan shot at the enemy in a frantic rage, pushing ahead for Tali's sake. He pushed his biotics as hard as they would go, tag-teaming those biotic explosions. Defenses glowing as violet energy around him, Kaidan's barriers, his heavy armor, and his Reave protections kept him safe from the volleys of those possessed units—and the sniping from the huge, hulking Scions we encountered for the first time, filled with sacs and plates of armor. Enhancing his middle-of-the-road power, Miranda compensated with her stronger abilities. Her shields weren't nearly as robust as Kaidan's multiple damage reduction sources. But she was strategic enough to make up for her lack, taking cover more often than Kaidan had to. The two of them worked together well—and efficiently—controlling the crowds while I sniped down the Scions and Harbinger troopers in our way.

Kaidan was able to take those hits from Harbinger's lackeys before I put them down.

His actual biotics didn't spike as high as they did before with his L3 implants—his Reaves paled in comparison to Miranda's warp strikes—but his beefed-up defenses more than made up for things.

Without a doubt, Kaidan was the missing piece to the rest of our team.

If we'd had his tanking abilities going into Horizon, then the others wouldn't have suffered so much.

No room for what-ifs.

I'd just have to work that much harder to recruit Kaidan once this was over with.

Hurrying through more abandoned houses, we eventually made it to a large door.

"It's through here," said Kaidan. "The targeting controls are up ahead. Any idea how we'll get them online? Maybe if we had Tali with us, she could handle it no problem."

I worked to bypass the security on the door. "We'll find a way. Let's get over there first."

Glancing at Miranda—her closed-off body language—Kaidan thought against making small-talk with her. Too intimidated to say a word, he instead hovered somewhere off to the side. He was wise enough to sense that Miranda didn't mean to direct this sort of energy at him. Nothing personal.

Considering the state that Horizon was in, this definitely wasn't the time for chit-chat.

But it was good to see that Kaidan felt more comfortable with Miranda now. Their battle synergy had helped a lot.

Security bypassed, the door opened to the next area:

Down this set of stairs and beyond the grass, the terminal and targeting controls awaited. Those defense guns sat unused, flanking either side of the area. Too open, this place hardly had any defensive positions. Just a bunch of crates, vehicles, and other stairs leading to more empty buildings. The skies bled darkest up above, with the Collector ship within striking distance from here. Trees swaying in the winds, and an unusual, unsettling quiet permeating the whole landscape—I felt that the worst was yet to come.

I led Miranda and Kaidan over to the controls with this mood.

Kaidan noticed, "What a strange feeling. It's like the Collectors are waiting for us to make a move."

Miranda saw the same. "I expected reinforcements. They must be mobilizing for their next attack."

"Whenever they get here, keep moving," I said. "Don't let them pin you down. There's not a lot of cover."

"Yeah, no kidding," fretted Kaidan. "Let's keep our guard up. Anything could happen."

At the controls, I hacked the computer to get it going. Then I tried contacting Joker again:

"Normandy? Do you copy?"

"Joker here," he replied. "Signal's weak, Commander, but we got you."

"EDI—can you get the colony's defense towers online?"

"Errors in the calibration software are easily rectified, but it will take time to bring the towers to full power. I recommend a defensive posture. I will not be able to mask the increased generator output."

Kaidan noted, "The Collectors are probably going to send their guns in."

"Kaidan?!" sputtered Joker. "Dude, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, Joker… I'm here helping Miranda and the commander. Maybe temporarily. Who knows."

We didn't have the luxury of getting into the details.

I explained, "Joker, we had to leave most of the team behind. They're injured. Coordinate with Garrus and Legion and send a shuttle to their location for evac. The others need immediate medical treatment."

"Shuttle away, Commander. We'll get them out of there ASAP!"

EDI warned us, "Enemy reinforcements are closing in. I suggest you ready weapons."

Hearing those loud buzzing sounds of the Collectors' wings descending, I ordered, "Survive until the towers are back online. Don't worry about me. I'll stay cloaked and cover your flanks. Stay together!"

"Aye, aye, Commander!" acknowledged Kaidan, running ahead already.

"Affirmative!" said Miranda, staying right by him.

Swarming the scene, the Collectors closed in on every spot of free space surrounding the tower.

Before I could even hide, a bunch of husks tried to rush at me. I ran off and activated my cloak. Completely unintelligent, the husks lost track of me right away. They stopped, turned around, and went to harass Miranda and Kaidan instead. Not needing to break my cloak to shoot, I sniped the husks one by one. I kept this up, picking off anyone who might've gotten too close to what was left of my team.

Harbinger was surprisingly scarce with those possessed troopers. I got rid of the few that popped up.

Invisible as I was, I could stay in mild cover using one of the vehicles lying around.

Miranda and Kaidan stayed in my sights.

They drew everything's attention as I needed.

Free from interruptions in their immediate area, they synergized better, and smarter as time went on.

Keeping their backs together, they pushed against the tide of Collectors overrunning the area. Near-constant biotics flaring, raging, they scaled up the strength of their timed explosions. Blasts ricocheting across the land, their blues and violets glowed on, ethereal against the red skies hemorrhaging everywhere around us, above us. I used those lights as my guide, tracking their blind spots; taking down spare Scions who had an open shot at them; punching through lines of husks intent on grabbing them.

EDI kept us updated on her progress: "Bypassing failsafes and attempting emergency power-up. Please hold the defense tower."

Thunderous sounds and a cacophony of buzzing and clicking noises, loudening and loudening from overhead: that lightning grew more and more sporadic, more dangerous. Amassing in size, more Collectors swarmed the field, their sights set automatically on Kaidan and Miranda protecting the tower—protecting each other. Somewhere from the mind and spirit of that amassment, Harbinger's booming voice sounded. Speaking to me directly, by name. Mocking me for my efforts at protecting my team.

Mocking me, even, for believing that Miranda could protect me from the Reapers themselves.

Focusing harder, I shot at every single Collector trying to close in on my team's ranks.

Shooting quicker, as quickly as I could reload and fire again, I refused to give up.

"Sequential power-up initiated. GARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 40%."

With EDI's update, Kaidan and Miranda boosted themselves, powering up.

As if shifting to a forty percent boost in this way, they pushed stronger, more severely.

Their explosions blasted our wider, louder.

They shot their guns smarter, and with more precision.

Husks crumbled in an ashen heat from the flames of Miranda's incendiary ammo. Scions collapsed into the secretions from their own broken sacs, torn apart from those biotic explosions. Anything centered around the Scions fell, too. Collector corpses flying, those ragdolls shot out well across the field—limbs tearing, disintegrating in the energized power from that shared dark energy working in-tandem.

Whenever I didn't have an enemy in my sights, I focused my scope on Miranda directly.

That concentration in her face, contorted in a focused rage:

The dedication in her eyes blazed for me, hotter and stronger than the skies.

"GARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 60%. Syncing targeting protocols to Normandy's systems. Continue to protect the tower."

Powering up again—this time to that sixty percent threshold, Kaidan showed the same concentration. The same dedication, and the same focus glowed in his eyes, all other loyalties failing in that heat. He remembered me more. He trusted me more. He reasoned with himself, more, while simultaneously focusing on the battle. I had to be more important to him than her. I had to be, because of what I meant to him, far more critical and devoted than he could have ever explained to me. He wouldn't have fought this hard for anyone else. He wouldn't have pushed himself like this under anyone else's command.

Up in the skies, flying in our direction from the Collector ship, a massive, armored enemy came this way. Silvered as synthetic steel, that carapace-like shape branched out to claw-like legs. Those eye-like lights glowed brightly in this scene, growing more and more luminous and intense as the thing neared us. Landing hard on its claws near the tower, the mouth and stomach of that bug-like body opened up to a bunch of husk heads clustered inside, twitching and haunting.

Miranda almost lost her nerve—"What the hell is that?!"

Kaidan shouted out over that monster's screeching and shrieking—"It's a Praetorian! The Alliance ran into them on another colony! We've gotta stay away from those claws! And its twin particle beams!"

As much as I could've panicked, I had to trust EDI to get those systems online.

She'd done more than enough to earn my trust.

Believing in her, I gave my orders, "Kaidan, Miranda, keep your distance! See if you can damage it!"

"Attempting now," said Miranda, firing a warp strike at its carapace. It did nothing—the Praetorian took flight again, toward them, surrounded by an opaque, purple spherical barrier. "Ineffective, Commander. Those kinetic barriers are too powerful. And it just put up another, stronger one. I can't get through!"

Kaidan pulled her along and ran. "Hurry, don't let it get on top of us!"

Wise words—just as the two of them scrambled away, the Praetorian dropped on their last location. And a death drop it was, crashing to the ground with a seismic smash, synthetic limbs and internal systems glowing in a menacing light. That glow had only powered its defenses more, invulnerable.

Then the Praetorian took flight again, intent on following Miranda and Kaidan.

No matter what state this thing was in, I knew I could shoot it down.

I just needed to wait until it stopped moving.

EDI came through—"GARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 100%. I have control."

Transcendent, relief flooded through me as I watched those big guns turn, adjust, and aim.

"Firing anti-ship batteries at Collector vessel."

Far less tense now as those shots went off, damaging the ship, I focused my scope on the Praetorian. I followed it as it kept following my team. It couldn't keep up with Kaidan and Miranda dodging its attempts to catch up. Continuously outrun, it tried a different approach. Standing up taller on its claws, the Praetorian's eyes lit up in a devilish focus. Straight from that same light, it shot out those twin particle beams in my team's direction, beaming and beaming in a rush of energy and focus.

With no other choice, they braced themselves for the hit.

I aimed my sniper rifle right at those vulnerable husks of the Praetorian's stomach. Concentrating.

Taking the brunt of that hit, Kaidan and Miranda held their ground. Their defenses pushed back against most of the damage. Standing strong against that forceful beaming, boots rooted to the ground, they both gripped each other for support. Kaidan fared better than Miranda, but they both had the presence of mind to handle the pain just as well. They knew what I was about to do:

Time slowed, dilated—I pulled the trigger on my Widow and fired my single shot, kickback knocking at my front.

Penetrating those barriers, that carapace all the way through, my bullet interrupted the Praetorian's beams.

Interruptions on top of disruptions, that thing raised its claws up, defenses exposed and destroyed. Rising up as it fell for good, all those internal lights became its body, decomposing. Decaying as that luminescence, the Praetorian died as a collection of light particles in the shape of its form, dissolving into the air.

As it did, the Collector ship had also taken enough damage from the defense guns.

Thrusters powering up as flames, the cruiser lifted off from Horizon's surface, rushing up to the skies. Disappearing, gone.

Gone, and with all of those harvested colonists along with it.

That clouded vortex in the sky disappeared.

The skies returned to normal, red fading away to the cloudy blue of the sunny afternoon.

Over where they were, Kaidan and Miranda made sure that the other was okay. They looked just fine.

I got back in touch with Joker, "The Collectors are finally gone. Did everyone else make it aboard?"

"Yep, all here," confirmed Joker. "They're in the med bay getting patched up now. No comas this time."

"Good to know. I'll call for the shuttle soon."

I went over to Miranda and Kaidan, preparing for the unavoidable.

Despite this victory, I had to expect the worst.

When I reached Kaidan, he smiled at first. Having forgotten the rest; set it aside. But then reality sunk in again. He wasn't sure how to behave—whether to keep smiling or not. Uncertain, he avoided my stare. More so once Miranda stepped off to the side, knowing to give us some space. Even then, I felt her hopes and her surprising optimism reach me. She knew that it was only a matter of words—not time.

"Looks like you're still a legend," tried Kaidan, giving me a half-smile now. "Maybe a legendary ghost. You took down that monster in a single shot. I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Ma'am."

"Kaidan…"

"Commander, I don't wanna argue with you. I mean, before I found you earlier, I sure felt differently about this. Fighting by your side again, serving under your command—you gave me that same fire again. The exact same one I always felt before. When I was on your team. When things were okay. When things were more innocent, I guess. It's the fire that helped push me through my recovery. And it's the fire that no other leader's been able to give me ever since. It's still burning, even now. Even though…"

"You're pissed off at me," I figured.

Kaidan winced with guilt. "You could put it that way, sure."

"The others told me you didn't react well to the news."

"Shepard, I was heartbroken! When they told me that you killed Ash, and why, it… God, it just about ended me. I could deal with you working for Cerberus, since the Alliance is on better terms with them these days. It was tough, yeah, but I could deal with it. This is a whole different level of insanity."

I didn't have to explain myself to him. "You know why I made that decision."

Kaidan muttered, "I do know why… She betrayed you. She hurt you. And you couldn't work things out."

"No," I stressed, keeping the matter of Ash's cowardice private. "We couldn't."

"I guess I'm just worried, Commander. Anxious. Alarmed. You were so quick to take such ruthless action—with the woman you loved! That can't be normal, or healthy. Don't get me wrong…I'm not judging you. I'm not doing anything of the sort. I'm unsettled, that's all. I know why you had to do it. I know—you had to protect Miranda and the others. I'm torn about it. How did we all get to this point?"

Kaidan wasn't nearly as emotional and obstinate as I'd expected him to be.

His willingness to be logical—and his simple plea for answers—made this much easier to deal with.

As reminded as I'd been recently of my birthday, of that timeframe, that shore leave, I remembered more—specifically, something that Kaidan had said to me. I had found him at Liara's house, sitting alone in the smaller living room. That first conversation we'd had about his mental health, how he was feeling at the time. And one particularly prophetic thing he'd told me, setting the stage for all of this to play out:

"You should already know the answer to that," I explained. "Unless you don't remember."

Kaidan looked baffled. "What do you mean? I must not remember, then. Nothing rings a bell."

"You remember that day we were all on shore leave together. I found you alone in that living room at Liara's place. You were drinking a glass of Thessian whiskey. Blueish-gold color. You didn't like it very much, did you?"

Smiling in reminiscence, he said, "It wasn't my taste. I was feeling pretty down in the dumps that day. The whiskey was supposed to take my mind off things. Sure didn't help in that department. But that's also when you finally talked to me for the first time. Actually spoke to me. I felt like crap, but I was glad to have your attention. I confessed what was going on with me, and you stepped in to help out."

"Well, I knew it was serious because of what you said. Your exact words. They worried me that day."

"What did I say…?"

"You compared yourself to me. You felt empty, and less-than. Partly because of the attention I got—specifically from the girls, as you said. Liara, Ashley, and Tali. You mentioned they were crazy about me."

Steadily, the memories came back to Kaidan's eyes. "Crazy about you. Losing their minds over you."

Word-for-word: "Someone's gonna lose it, and something terrible is gonna happen. That's what you said, Kaidan. You called all of this before it happened. Before I realized it was a problem. You knew."

That epiphany lit up his understanding, bringing him back to my side, all the way.

"I… I did, didn't I? You're right, Commander. You're absolutely right. Guess I should've known that, too."

"In that case, I should've listened to you ahead of time. But that's all behind us now. I'm willing to move forward if you are. The last time we spoke in that hospital room, I asked you to come back to the team—once you were ready. My offer still stands. We all missed having you with us."

Believing in me again, Kaidan shared, "Of course I'll come back. It's all I've wanted this whole time."

I offered my hand to him. "Welcome back to the team, Kaidan."

He shook my hand, filled with vigor. "Thanks, Commander. It means a lot. You have no idea."

"Well, I could sure use you as our marine officer again. Miranda's my second-in-command. I'd be happy to have you as my third after her. You'd be our automatic leader for the second fire team. How about it?"

"Sounds great! It's an honor. Think you could come with me to get my things? My station's not too far away. There's nothing else for me here… I'll just call the Council later to give them my report."

"No problem. Lead the way. We'll head back to the Normandy and check on the others afterward."

"Definitely," agreed Kaidan. "I bet we could all do with some shore leave pretty soon. That was a rough ride! Just throwing that out there, Shepard. Some not-so-subtle hints, you know?"

"I hear you loud and clear. I'll decide on where to go once the team's patched up again."

While Kaidan led the way ahead, I walked with Miranda by my side, holding her hand. These sunny skies had lit up her eyes anew. Her eyes, her skin, her hair, and the material of her uniform—everything seemed aglow in this light, shining on after our victory. And my diplomatic victory, I supposed, now that Kaidan was with us, despite the odds. Miranda looked…proud of me.

I didn't mean to give her such a silly smile. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she claimed, airy and sweet.

"Really, babe? Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Miranda laughed softly. "No reason. None at all. Certainly not because of what you achieved."

"Yeah, well, you weren't too bad yourself. For a while there, it looked like we might've had to do this on our own. Just you and me. I'm glad we found the help we needed."

"As am I. And I second Kaidan's suggestion about that shore leave. I'd like us to go relax somewhere."

"All right, then," I accepted. "You have some place in mind? Or did you want me to decide?"

"Mmm, you go ahead and pick. I'll choose next time. How does that sound?"

I noticed, "Okay, but why does it seem like you do have somewhere in mind, and you're not telling me?"

Miranda gave me a coy smile, teasing, "Perhaps I have a few plans in the works for the two of us. Alone. These plans won't be ready until that unspecified 'next time.' Hopefully sometime soon. You'll see. For now, I'm letting you take the reins. I'll pull out all the stops for us later. You won't regret the wait."

"You know how hard it is to surprise me, right?"

"I certainly do. Challenge accepted. I'm positive I'll come out ahead. In more ways than one."

Her confidence about this was pretty damn attractive. And intriguing.

Miranda knew.

She just smiled at me again, even as my omni-tool went off with an email alert.

Speaking of surprises…

From: Aria – Re: Omega.

Shepard,

I'm feeling generous with you.

You and your team hereby have a special invitation to Afterlife here on Omega. I'm giving you clearance to spend time in the VIP area of my club. Whenever you'd like to stop by, come pay me that visit you neglected to give me last time. We should talk. Partly about business. I do have a little something going on that I'd like your opinion about. As for why I won't simply ask someone else, the answer is obvious. We really don't need to dance around it. You can let your team do the dancing while they hang out here.

No cover charge. All drinks are on the house. Tell the bartenders to put them on Liselle's tab. They'll know what that means. Liselle is my daughter's name. No one dares to invoke her without my express permission. Also, tell the bouncer at the VIP entrance that Jaruut sent you. He'll let you right in.

For what it's worth, I want you to come speak to me alone. Don't bring your girlfriend. She can come to my club, of course. But this talk of ours has to be private. I don't want her in my business. This is a sensitive matter with Omega's politics. This could also branch out into something more serious. It involves the both of us, and it's important. You've earned my trust with this. So get your ass to my club as soon as possible. Don't keep me waiting for too long.

-Aria