Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, I don't own Schwarz, I don't own Schu, I don't own Farfie, I don't own Crawford, I don't own Nagi, I don't own Aya, I don't own Yohji, I don't own Omi, I don't own Ken, I don't own money, I don't own a life…. This could go on forever:: bashes head with random lemming:: Yeah. That was fun. I am NOT insane. No. Really. Shut up! I'm not! Raar…you will pay…. Just read the fic… I'm telling you, this is some intensely crappy…crap. Whoooo..I'm okay. No wait a minute……alright! I AM INSANE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW READ THE FIC OR SUFFER MY WRATH!
Summary: This is a stupid, insane, pointless fic. That's all that can be said, right there. Schwarz and Weiss go to Independence Mall and wreak havoc. I don't know why they came to Massachusetts, or to Kingston, for that matter, but it's the only place I know enough about to write about. (Intelligent-sounding, ain't I?)
And so the horrors begin……
Driving the car into a handicapped space in the parking lot, Crawford cursed Takatori under his breath. How DARE he send them to follow Weiss to America! He didn't want to be here, and was close to killing the rest of his teammates. Schuldich was whining that he was too cold, Nagi was blasting his music as loud as possible, and Farfarello was just….being Farfarello. Slamming the door, he got out of the car and stood waiting for the rest, tapping his foot impatiently. Glancing over, he noticed the handicapped sign that for some strange reason he had failed to notice before. "Damn." he muttered. "Farfarello, act handicapped." Farfarello immediately fell over and lay twitching on the asphalt. "Not THAT handicapped." Crawford said, annoyed. The rest of Schwarz began walking towards the mall. Farfarello calmly broke his leg and limped after them.
Across the lot, Yohji parked the van and got out, stretching. "I still don't understand why we had to come HERE." He mumbled. "And why didn't we take a plane? And why didn't YOU drive, Aya? Why didn't we stop for lunch? Why can't we…",he trailed off when he realized no one was listening, and Aya was giving him his most intimidating shut-up-or-I-will-throw-my-katana-at-you-just-like-I-did-to-that-helicopter death glare. "We came here because there was no where else to go. It was either this or the rock. Trust me, I'd rather not be here either. Driving's cheaper. You drove because I didn't want to and I'm a cold hearted bastard. That's the same reason we didn't stop for lunch." Aya said, glaring insidiously1 . "Right. Point taken." Yohji murmured, knowing it was best to leave the steel-eyed assassin as he was. They walked rather threateningly toward the mall.
"You wanna try chicken?" asked the Jumbalaya Grill employee as they walked past. "Sure." said Nagi as he calmly floated a piece of chicken to his mouth. The employee staggered a few paces, then fainted. Suddenly, Schu ran ahead as if he was being chased by a rabid meatloaf. The others walked up to where he was standing, eyes shining2 in front of the Taco Bell. "What?" asked Crawford as he tried to translate the babble that came from the German's mouth. "They……have……TACOS!" he yelled, causing the whole mall to turn and stare at him. "I love the little tacos. I love them good…."3 he murmured, standing in line with a twenty dollar bill (for some reason he oh-so conveniently had American money on him) clutched tightly in his fist. "My! You sure look WACKY!" They heard from behind them, soon followed by a bloodcurdling scream from the speaker and everyone else in the close vicinity. "WACKY!!? What the hell kind of a word is THAT!? WACKY!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!!!" The killer walked away, mumbling.4 Everyone stood for a moment, taking in the scene of carnage, then resumed their mindless conversations about banana hammocks5 and the like. Schu stood silently, eye twitching in anticipation of his tacos. "C'mon." Crawford mumbled, pulling him forcefully away from the line. "But I need tacos! I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes."6 He protested as he was dragged away.
"Hey guys." Omi said, tugging at Aya's coat sleeve. "Can we go into the computer store?" "Stop acting like an annoying three-year old and come on." Yohji said, annoyed. "Hey." said Ken. "Hey." said Omi back. "Shut up." Ken said, then elbowed him in the chin before continuing. "Isn't that Schwarz?" Aya's eyes narrowed. "Schwarz."
Across the mall, Crawford's eyes narrowed also. "Weiss."
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1 This word courtesy of my sister because I couldn't think of the right word….it hurts to think…
2 Ever notice how, in anime, if the character is upset or really happy, their eyes wiggle? That cracks me up…
3 Invader Zim© and G.I.R. are the property of Jhonen Vasquez
4 Johnny the Homicidal Maniac© is the property of Jhonen Vasquez
5 Scrubs
Oi! I told you it was a piece of mindless crap! I wrote it, what else would it be? And I know it was kinda short…Anyway, if you want to flame me, flame me. I like flames! And fire…tell me if I should write more or just forget about this fic…
Summary: This is a stupid, insane, pointless fic. That's all that can be said, right there. Schwarz and Weiss go to Independence Mall and wreak havoc. I don't know why they came to Massachusetts, or to Kingston, for that matter, but it's the only place I know enough about to write about. (Intelligent-sounding, ain't I?)
And so the horrors begin……
Driving the car into a handicapped space in the parking lot, Crawford cursed Takatori under his breath. How DARE he send them to follow Weiss to America! He didn't want to be here, and was close to killing the rest of his teammates. Schuldich was whining that he was too cold, Nagi was blasting his music as loud as possible, and Farfarello was just….being Farfarello. Slamming the door, he got out of the car and stood waiting for the rest, tapping his foot impatiently. Glancing over, he noticed the handicapped sign that for some strange reason he had failed to notice before. "Damn." he muttered. "Farfarello, act handicapped." Farfarello immediately fell over and lay twitching on the asphalt. "Not THAT handicapped." Crawford said, annoyed. The rest of Schwarz began walking towards the mall. Farfarello calmly broke his leg and limped after them.
Across the lot, Yohji parked the van and got out, stretching. "I still don't understand why we had to come HERE." He mumbled. "And why didn't we take a plane? And why didn't YOU drive, Aya? Why didn't we stop for lunch? Why can't we…",he trailed off when he realized no one was listening, and Aya was giving him his most intimidating shut-up-or-I-will-throw-my-katana-at-you-just-like-I-did-to-that-helicopter death glare. "We came here because there was no where else to go. It was either this or the rock. Trust me, I'd rather not be here either. Driving's cheaper. You drove because I didn't want to and I'm a cold hearted bastard. That's the same reason we didn't stop for lunch." Aya said, glaring insidiously1 . "Right. Point taken." Yohji murmured, knowing it was best to leave the steel-eyed assassin as he was. They walked rather threateningly toward the mall.
"You wanna try chicken?" asked the Jumbalaya Grill employee as they walked past. "Sure." said Nagi as he calmly floated a piece of chicken to his mouth. The employee staggered a few paces, then fainted. Suddenly, Schu ran ahead as if he was being chased by a rabid meatloaf. The others walked up to where he was standing, eyes shining2 in front of the Taco Bell. "What?" asked Crawford as he tried to translate the babble that came from the German's mouth. "They……have……TACOS!" he yelled, causing the whole mall to turn and stare at him. "I love the little tacos. I love them good…."3 he murmured, standing in line with a twenty dollar bill (for some reason he oh-so conveniently had American money on him) clutched tightly in his fist. "My! You sure look WACKY!" They heard from behind them, soon followed by a bloodcurdling scream from the speaker and everyone else in the close vicinity. "WACKY!!? What the hell kind of a word is THAT!? WACKY!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!!!" The killer walked away, mumbling.4 Everyone stood for a moment, taking in the scene of carnage, then resumed their mindless conversations about banana hammocks5 and the like. Schu stood silently, eye twitching in anticipation of his tacos. "C'mon." Crawford mumbled, pulling him forcefully away from the line. "But I need tacos! I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes."6 He protested as he was dragged away.
"Hey guys." Omi said, tugging at Aya's coat sleeve. "Can we go into the computer store?" "Stop acting like an annoying three-year old and come on." Yohji said, annoyed. "Hey." said Ken. "Hey." said Omi back. "Shut up." Ken said, then elbowed him in the chin before continuing. "Isn't that Schwarz?" Aya's eyes narrowed. "Schwarz."
Across the mall, Crawford's eyes narrowed also. "Weiss."
**************************************************************************************************************
1 This word courtesy of my sister because I couldn't think of the right word….it hurts to think…
2 Ever notice how, in anime, if the character is upset or really happy, their eyes wiggle? That cracks me up…
3 Invader Zim© and G.I.R. are the property of Jhonen Vasquez
4 Johnny the Homicidal Maniac© is the property of Jhonen Vasquez
5 Scrubs
Oi! I told you it was a piece of mindless crap! I wrote it, what else would it be? And I know it was kinda short…Anyway, if you want to flame me, flame me. I like flames! And fire…tell me if I should write more or just forget about this fic…