Requiem of the Goddess

by Yoshiyuki Ly

Goddess of mind, goddess of heart - closed-off without consent, She cannot flourish; unlocked to the universe in trust and control, She protects from all outside influences. Only one sits atop the throne of Shepard's subjectivity. Ashley/FemShep, Liara/FemShep. Miranda/FemShep, Aria/FemShep. Power plays, intense loves. Renegon Infiltrator FemShep. Spans the Mass Effect Trilogy.

63. Dark Goddess

"The Zone" by The Weeknd ft. Drake

LXIII. Dark Goddess

(Aria)

Back on Omega, these handful of days went by at a breakneck speed.

Managing details for Afterlife, micromanaging contingency plans with my bunkers, macro-managing my own suspicions toward my enemies. I made sure to account for everything. Anything that could have gone wrong during my absence, I took care of ahead of time. Jarral, Bray, and Ahz had rarely left my side. They seemed proud to serve me. Just like always. Yet much more so these days, perhaps, now that they witnessed my improved mood. They would never admit this to me directly, but I knew better.

And now as I sat on my couch, basking in my club's music and ambiance one last time, I contemplated.

I thought over just how much had changed here on Omega. How much had changed with me as well.

A decade or so ago, I wouldn't have been in this same position. Overseeing a more gregarious clientele in my club. Using my omni-tool to keep track of the population in my secure bunker. Using the same to monitor any and all goods going to that same bunker, making sure the people there had enough to eat. I continued to watch over the many mercenary factions on my station as well. Not once had they stepped out of line with me lately. Almost as if they wanted to lure me into a false sense of security, as if I would lessen my watchful eye over them. This only made me more suspicious, wondering about those gangs.

I kept my birthday gift from Shepard in my lap. This light, yet powerful shotgun she had given me. The AT-12 Raider. I'd had the pleasure of trying it out already, and I adored this gun, just like I knew I would. The thought and care Shepard had put into this gift, I felt so tangibly beneath my fingertips. I felt her growing love for me in the bronze of this metal, almost like sunlight. Surrounded as I was by so many people—the VIPs sitting at the tables nearest to me, the dancers entertaining everyone—this loneliness hollowed me out. This loneliness without Shepard, without her here. I knew I would see her today. My transport to Thessia would be here soon. Sharing this bond with her had already affected me, deeply.

Absorbed in my memories of her, I barely noticed Bray coming up to see me.

He thankfully didn't smell of cigarettes this time.

"Your transport is still on its way," he informed me. "It'll be here in an hour. The trip will take four hours. After they drop you off on Thessia, the asari councilor's crew will get the ship back to the Citadel."

"Good," I replied. Tevos had been kind enough to lend me her private cruiser for the day. I could've taken my ship, but that would've involved trusting my own crew to get it back safely. "Since I only have an hour left, I'll go handle my final errands. If I don't see you again, I'll contact you and the others later."

"Got it, Boss. We'll handle the rest while you're gone. Like always." One last thing—"Oh, and check your mail before you leave. Your regular mail at home. Someone sent you a letter. I left it in the usual spot."

"I'll be sure to do that."

Not wanting to linger around, Bray left on that note of reassurance.

Glancing around my spot one last time, I took stock of how I felt. This sudden nostalgia overtook me. All from the years I had spent on this throne of mine, alone and on my own. Then the years I had spent with Liselle on my hip, sitting on this very couch with her while I took care of business. Then the longer years I had spent here without her, missing her, yet refusing to lower my pride and tell her. Then the shorter, more confusing years I had spent here, wanting Shepard from afar. That had led to these longer, intense months of knowing her personally. Knowing her, to being with her, to belonging to her.

Standing up, I decided I couldn't wallow around. These sentimentalities weren't doing me any good.

I holstered my new gun behind my back, just over my hips.

I took my private exit out from Afterlife. Through the back, through my secret tunnels. I couldn't let anyone see me leave out in the open like this. But as I walked away, Afterlife's music began fading away in the distance. I felt myself growing distracted, nostalgic, and sentimental all over again. Because I realized the depths of my decisions, what they said about me. Leaving Omega like this—again—had only proved my old cynicisms correct. Years and years ago, I had deduced that I couldn't have both. I could have Omega and real love. Shepard had given me this fine illusion of having both, certainly. But the more time I spent around her, on her mission, the less control I had over my station. Something, anything could've happened at any time, and I would've been powerless to stop it. Yet I had made up my mind, implicitly, that Shepard was worth the risk. She meant too much for me to just stay away.

But because of all that, I kept checking my omni-tool.

I checked and checked and checked to see if Shepard had messaged me, called me. Even though I had already prioritized any and all alerts from her, I still kept checking manually anyway. I just couldn't stand our return to this temporary-long-distance thing. Especially because I'd fallen back into some of my worst habits, my worst thinking. I hated not knowing exactly where Shepard was. Who she was with. If she was safe, if she was okay. And I really should have known. There was that stereotype by now about the asari bonding process. How I was supposed to feel Shepard next to me, all the time, even when she wasn't there. Except I couldn't feel her like that. Not at all the time, anyway. Not consistently. The only explanation that made sense was what Tevos had told me before. Just from how 'disconnected' I was.

So now I had to deal with this—dare I say it—anxiety.

Sure, I could have simply messaged Shepard myself. Or I could've called her instead. But that would've made me look desperate. Which I probably was in some ways. I could admit this to myself. Besides, I had already told her how attached I was. How I couldn't stand to be away from her. Admitting anything more? No, never. Absolutely not. Although I knew she wouldn't judge me. Shepard certainly would have embraced my truth. This was a big reason why I…cared for her this much. I cared, and I needed to hear from her again. I fucking cared, and I needed these hours to hurry the hell up so I could see her again.

Distractions and all, I barely noticed someone had gotten in my way.

I stopped in place, staring down at this particular someone in my path.

This damn cat again.

The same black and white one from some weeks ago, right before I had left Omega the first time. He sat in place on the ground, gazing up at me in an easy contentment. Like he hoped for me to say something.

"You again?"

Exactly like before, the cat just meowed at me.

I scowled over this strangeness, telling him, "My translation program doesn't work for…cats. If you're trying to talk to me, I have no idea what you're saying."

Apparently not minding the language barrier, the cat simply meowed again, swishing his tail around.

"I really don't understand why you're so interested in me."

Once I continued walking, he started following right behind.

Though I supposed it was…comforting, in a way. This cat seemed to like me for no real reason. And I could say it made all the difference. I also began to see why Shepard had her quiet fondness for animals. No matter how fucked up other people were, you could always count on the innocence of an animal. So for that reason, I didn't mind this cat staying after me, even once I returned out to the open. The market area remained respectably crowded, keeping anyone from spotting this unusual companion of mine.

The shop owners themselves did pick me out from the crowd. Some of them nodded to me in greeting; others turned their noses up, giving more of their begrudging acknowledgments instead. I imagined plenty of my station's people felt similarly toward me—skewed one way or the other. Whether they loved me or they hated me, everyone respected me. They knew I ruled Omega with a generous hand, ready to grip into an iron fist at any moment. That kind of suspense, that mystery ensured everyone feared me just enough. Just enough to make sure they didn't try anything stupid with me.

Still, anything could've changed at any moment.

I could never grow comfortable or complacent, exactly as Liara had explained to me the other day.

Wary of my reality, I decided to visit one of the shop owners. A purely spontaneous choice on my part.

Off in a nearby corner, I spotted that elcor, Harrot, over at his so-called emporium.

I went to Harrot standing behind the counter, his kiosk glowing expectantly. The shop owner himself kept a cigar in his mouth—somehow—looking the part for a merchant on Omega. Harrot spoke to me as I approached, always with that same deep, monotone intonation from his people:

"Nervously excited: Welcome, Aria. Your presence is unexpected. What can I get for you?"

"Harrot," I acknowledged. "You're still doing business, I see. I heard you got busted for that 'deal' you had with the quarian downstairs. If you ask me, they let you off too easy. You were lucky this time."

"Suspicious: If I had made such a deal, I would certainly not be inclined to discuss it."

"Drop the act. They wouldn't have written you up if your hands were clean. But that's not even the worst part. You even kept me out of your little scheme. All those credits you made from that poor mechanic, and I didn't receive a single one. If you were going to run an extortion racket, Harrot, then you should've at least offered to cut me a check. Again, you were lucky. Lucky I didn't come knocking."

Harrot changed his 'tone'—"Pleading: I was falsely accused. I am innocent."

"You're a fucking liar. Start telling the truth and I won't break your legs."

"With barely-contained terror: You drive a hard bargain, Aria. I admit to coercing the quarian into a promise with me. Omega's police has already enacted their punishment. I do not wish to suffer your additional wrath. To show there is no ill will, I offer you a discount on my own wares."

I scoffed, "Keep your little discount, Harrot. My people are the ones who make sure your inventory gets to Omega in the first place. Don't give them an excuse to make your life difficult. Trust me."

"Humorously: It would be more difficult to take your threats seriously. I have just noticed a fatal flaw in your plans. Your persona is not as impenetrable as you wish for it to be."

"Is that so?" I challenged. "What's this fatal flaw, then? Because I'm not bluffing."

"Adoring: Your furry companion says otherwise."

I glanced down at that silly cat sitting next to my heel.

If elcor were capable of at least chuckling, then Harrot would've done it by now.

"Fine, whatever," I dismissed. "He won't stop following me around. It's not like I adopted him myself."

"Observational: It appears this cat has instead adopted you. I have heard stories of their kind from the humans on Omega. This behavior is normal for creatures of the feline variety."

"I suppose. Anyway, we're done here. I'm leaving. Don't let me catch you doing anything stupid again."

"Courteously: Have a fine day, Aria. Omega is stronger thanks to you. I wish you luck with Commander Shepard, as well as your future endeavors."

How very kind of him.

I left the marketplace, off to complete my only real errand for today.

I made my way toward the Talons' main outpost—over on the outskirts, past the marketplace and well past the residential areas. Nyreen and her people had taken over a lot of territory in recent days. A lot more than they should have. It was as if the other gangs hadn't put up a fight at all. Or something more.

I imagined Nyreen had made a deal with them.

Had they teamed up? Formed some kind of alliance? I didn't have any solid evidence to prove my suspicions. Not yet. But some of the lands I passed through—broken-down hubs and abandoned hideouts—only made me more curious. The Talons made no effort to secure all this extra territory. They just left it sitting around, like it didn't actually matter to them at all. Unless they were busy waiting for a better opportunity. Waiting for me to leave again before they went ahead and refurbished these places.

Nyreen was a fucking idiot if she thought I didn't notice.

And my ex was many things, but an idiot certainly wasn't one of them.

No, she did this on purpose. But even if I asked her about it, she wouldn't tell me. I knew she wouldn't.

By the time I arrived to the endless ladder leading up to her outpost, I felt my patience thinning already.

Right before I reached for the ladder, I noticed that cat still with me.

"You can't follow me up here," I told him. "It's time for us to go our separate ways." If I didn't know any better, he seemed disappointed. That was just too bad. He couldn't climb up the ladder. "Go on, now."

Obeying this time, the cat slinked off into the shadows, probably hoping to see me again at some point.

Then I began my ascent up the ladder. As I stared up at Omega's unclouded view of golds, I considered bailing instead. Reneging on this visit. Going back home sooner to check my mail before my flight to Thessia. Yet I had already given Nyreen my word about paying her a visit. No matter how angry she was with me, or how much she secretly disapproved of my girlfriend, I at least owed her this much. Although perhaps owed was too strong of a word. I didn't like to think I owed anyone anything, outside of Liselle and Shepard. Now that I could see an end to this suicide mission, right around the corner, I started lingering on the past. I lingered on everything that had brought me to this point—including Nyreen.

Even though we'd never really gotten along, there was something about her.

One thing in particular made me go back and forth. Sometimes I wanted her out of my life completely, while other times—today—I only wanted her out of my life on most occasions. Not every single one. Maybe that was the nostalgia talking. Maybe I had started grasping for any normalcy, any familiarity I could find. My ex had always been that certainty for me. After royally pissing me off, I could at least count on her presence. Knowing that Nyreen wanted us to get back together. Knowing that she cared, that she felt something for me. Knowing that she wanted to make things right: impossibly impossible and realistically unrealistic. She liked to believe, anyway. And I had sometimes appreciated it.

Sometimes, like now, as I arrived to the Talon outpost, entering through the front doors.

All these guards in their signature red and golden armor—most of them turians—kept their eyes locked to me. Hands gripping their assault rifles. Muttering under their breaths without even waiting for me to pass by first. No subtlety whatsoever. I couldn't help wondering if this was part of the company policy, or if they all couldn't stand me on a personal level. Or maybe both. After all, every single one of these mercs remained sickening loyal to Nyreen. To me they seemed virtuous to a fault, just like their leader. They chose to 'serve with integrity' once Nyreen took over from Darius, the old leader, who'd tried to niche the Talons in the drug trade. Despite their rapid territory growth in recent weeks, their actual numbers weren't anything for me to worry about. I'd decided to allow them to exist as they were.

On a lighter note, I didn't see any cats around this outpost. Apparently they all knew who was really in charge on Omega, and so they chose to hang around my bunker instead. They wanted to be on the winning team. I actually smiled in amusement.

"Look who decided to show up."

Nyreen approached me, wearing that Talon armor of hers. She looked rather suspicious over my smile.

"Are you that surprised?" I asked. "I said I'd pay you a visit. You already know I keep my word."

"You're also capable of changing your word when it suits you. I thought now would be the time."

"Why, because our last conversation wasn't exactly amicable?"

She outright scowled now. "Our last conversation was hostile, Aria. You don't need to mince words."

"And you don't need to correct me," I said, still breezy enough. "Listen, I'm leaving soon. We can either spend a few minutes together, or I can cut my visit short. The ball's in your court. You get to decide."

"A few minutes," repeated Nyreen, bitter for some reason. "I can't believe you think that's enough…"

"Well, given how hostile you are this time, can you blame me? You seem like you don't want me here."

Nyreen didn't bother disputing that. She instead gestured for me to follow her. I did so, walking with her through the outpost, over to her private balcony overlooking the area. As we went, the Talon mercs saluted her in unison, every single time. They raised their gun arm, their weapon to the air. Nyreen didn't appear to acknowledge them as they did this. She seemed distracted now. Like she suddenly had a lot on her mind. As if she didn't before. I supposed my presence didn't help matters. Either way, I remembered to keep some of my guard up. Even around her. Because I remembered those murals, those clear tells of Nyreen's loyalties, her truest colors. Whether she hated me because I kept my distance, or she despised me for more nefarious reasons, this question would remain. This question of whether or not I could have an honest conversation with her again. I wanted to believe that I could. I wanted to believe Nyreen's displeasure was just that bitterness, that jealousy and that resentment.

Luckily for me, she picked up on my reservations.

And once we arrived to her private balcony, I took a seat on the nearby bench. I took this seat, allowing Nyreen to stand over me in this way. I stared up at her staring down at the outpost. At the goings-on down there—at her people managing operations at their consoles, sorting inventory, taking attendance.

I crossed one leg over the other, asking her, "So what's on your mind?"

My ex paid unusually close attention to my movements, even out of the corners of her eyes. She always did have a thing for my legs—how tall I was, the way my leather shaped my body, and my heeled boots.

Had I turned her on without meaning to?

I must have, because Nyreen lightened her tone quite a bit:

"I'm…torn with you, Aria. Extremely torn."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Don't get me wrong," she tried to assert. "I'm grateful that you came to say goodbye to me—in case the worst happens. I have a terrible feeling about your mission. If I'm right, then not everything will go to plan. Not even with Commander Shepard. I think you and your team are in for a rude awakening."

"That may be true," I allowed. "But the thing is, I trust Shepard's judgment. I can count on her leadership in the moment. And I can count on her foresight, her ability to plan for just about anything."

"You honestly believe she can expect the unexpected?"

"She's gotten us this far. If there's anyone who'll get us past the finish line, my money's on her."

Nyreen sounded surprised. "You trust her leadership more than you trust your own?"

"For something like this, certainly. We both have our strengths. If we're actually talking about money, business, and entrepreneurship, then Shepard would hand the reins over to me. That's not what this is about, though. This is about teamwork, connections, trusting in others. Shepard knows how to draw out that fire in her people. Myself included. She'll get this done, Nyreen. I need you to believe in that."

"I've never heard you speak this highly of someone before. I believe in her. And I believe in you, too. Yet my terrible feeling won't leave. It keeps growing worse and worse by the minute. I can't stand this…"

No wonder she was all over the place. "Well, you did say you were torn. Now I see what you mean."

Nyreen pulled at her hands, fidgeting as she admitted, "This isn't just about your mission."

"Then what else is this about? Why are you so emotional? You're acting like you'll never see me again."

Standing before me like this, practically baring her soul, she thought long and hard about what to say.

I wanted Nyreen to tell me the truth.

I needed her to say exactly why she despised me. Why she was on that 'negative' side of those scales.

Torn or not, Nyreen's emotions had ultimately landed her on one specific side, opposite my own.

After thinking and thinking and thinking, she caught me completely off-guard when she said—

"I still love you, Aria. I love you…and I'm tired of all the secrecy. I don't want us to do this anymore."

From the look on my face, Nyreen knew. She fucking knew I didn't understand any of this.

"I know you don't understand," she conceded. "But I also know what you've noticed. The territories I've acquired. How I haven't done much with them yet. The other groups I have on my side. The mercs you're supposed to count on—how some of them have gone rogue, siding with me now. You've come up with all sorts of conspiracies. And that was the only power I had over you, wasn't it? It was the only way I could keep you thinking of me. I wanted to stay on your mind. I wanted you to reconsider things."

"Reconsider what?"

Nyreen made the fatal mistake of kneeling down before me.

She knelt down, tipping those scales in that direction. Down, down, down all the way as she lied—

"The two of us. What we had. After all this time, I haven't given up on you. Guess I'm pretty hopeless."

Because any other time, I would have believed her.

I did believe she still wanted me. She still had feelings or whatever. She still loved me, fine.

But I also remembered her last visit. That ire, that spite in her voice as she'd yelled at me—"You're still exactly the same!" Nyreen had called me a cold-blooded tyrant. Perhaps, maybe, she'd hoped that I had changed. That I wasn't exactly the same anymore. Somehow, she had come to the conclusion that I had not actually changed. That I still saw her as that hopeless romantic, still pining after me. That I continued to underestimate her, writing off her attempts at strong-arming her way to more power and respect.

On the way over here, I had basked in that nostalgia. How I could always count on her to be this for me.

Except that was just an illusion.

All things considered, Nyreen didn't really love me…

Not sincerely.

Not genuinely.

Not anymore.

She only said those specific words…to control me.

I lowered my head and closed my eyes. Trying to hide this hurt away from her.

Nyreen didn't notice what I hid from her. "I'm sorry if I've made things awkward for you, Aria. I had to be honest. This was eating away at me. You've been keeping an eye on me under false pretenses. I'm no threat to you. I just—needed to make myself more important than I actually was." Why would she lie to me like this…? If she was so fucking virtuous, then why did she choose to play these mind games? "I'll call off those other operations. I'll give you those newer pieces of territory. We can still fix this. Truce?"

The ultimate test of my instincts, my perceptions, and my paranoia:

My ex offered her hand to me.

She continued to kneel on the ground, gazing up at me like this. Hoping I wouldn't see right through her.

If I shook her hand, and I chose to trust her, dismissing my suspicions, then she would win this war.

If I shook her hand, and I kept my suspicions, then she would know. She would spot my continued surveillance of her and her gang. She would notice the way I continued to treat her over any given time.

Nyreen would also know that I hadn't kept my word.

And if I didn't shake her hand, well, that would dispel all these illusions. Especially this little game.

Why was it that our worst enemies were always the ones closest to us?

Never the ones far away at a distance. Always standing nearest. Always close enough to kill like this.

This shorter knife. This shorter reach. This deeper cut, this deeper pain and bleeding and confusion.

"Aria? Aria, wait!"

I barely realized that I had left the bench, left that balcony, leaving my ex behind.

I somehow had enough sense to leave. Just leave. No explanations, no agreements or disagreements. A simple end to this conversation, to these lies. Through this stabbing pain, my logic managed to get through to me. And I knew, if I acted on my immediate instincts, I'd end up in trouble. So I left this outpost, left the base. I left all those Talon mercs everywhere, watching me with that suspicion Nyreen had deep down, even as she'd lied to my face. I wanted to wring her fucking neck. I wanted to watch the life leave her eyes—once and for all. I wanted my revenge for all those wasted years, both then and now. But if I did actually kill her today, her mercs would've been on me. Even I couldn't survive that.

More than anything, I wished I were Shepard right now.

I wished I had the strength, the restraint to decide this person didn't matter anymore.

I didn't have that strength on my own. And I sure as hell didn't have Shepard's enviable restraint.

Only by some miracle did I get out of there alive—without killing Nyreen, without tipping her off. She could believe she'd scared me off with that talk of love. I needed her to believe that…because it was the only play I had left. I had nothing else left for her. Nothing except for this burning hellscape of hatred.

---

Retreating back home one last time, I absorbed the peace and quiet here. I leaned back against my front door. The cold firmness of this surface felt heavenly compared to where I'd just been. I closed my eyes for a moment, recalibrating. I tried to get my proper headspace back. I tried to pull myself together. The drilling sting of this disappointment, this disillusion kept spinning me back out, even as I remained physically in one place. Only when I opened my eyes again did I find a reason to exhale. I opened my eyes…and found the mail Bray had mentioned. A letter someone had written me. A letter from Shepard.

I reached out to her letter with such an uncertain hope.

I could admit to myself now, in this headspace, how much I needed her. How much I needed her and feared her at the same time. Not just from the power Shepard held over me. She had such a low tolerance for bullshit from others. I wasn't exactly sure how much she would tolerate from me. I wasn't sure if I would end up just like all the rest. Even after her reassurances. Even after all the progress we'd made. That whole encounter with Nyreen had clearly set me back. And I didn't know how to handle it.

Nevertheless, I held Shepard's letter close to my chest. I brought it with me as I looked around my loft. I couldn't open her words just yet. I wanted to save them for my trip. I kept on holding onto them like this as I toured my home one more time. Checking to make sure I had everything. Checking to make sure I still remembered everything that had happened here. I wanted to remember it all. The good and the bad. The brighter times I had spent chasing Liselle around as a child while she'd giggled and ran free. The darker times I had spent warping and twisting Nyreen into this cloud of unknown, uncharted territory. The more recent times I had spent relaxing with Shepard here, however brief they had been. I never wanted to forget the memories that made my home my own.

With what little time I had left, I chose to sit down over my bed.

As I kept holding Shepard's letter, I stewed over my feelings, my regrets. I mostly regretted not letting her have sex with me on my birthday. Physically—while she was still here. I knew it would've been magical. I knew Shepard would've pleased me well out of my mind. I only hadn't realized my truest fears until now. Because we could've done all that, and I would end up stuck. Stuck on her. Sticking to her like a fucking loved-up nuisance. Needing her. Needing to know where she was at all times. Needing and needing and needing. I had always managed to avoid showing this side of myself with others. Mostly because I just never felt this same way with them. Things were always different with Shepard. Always different with her. She drew out the best and the worst in me. I wanted to believe she was in this for the long-haul, even with my ridiculousness. I wanted and I wanted to believe. I didn't know. I just didn't know anymore. Didn't Shepard like me most for my confidence? Didn't she like me for the way I spoke, how I held myself, how I took no prisoners? So why the hell would she like any of this about me? How?

I questioned myself…even as I had my clear answers.

Shepard was so gentle with me the other day. She saw my insecurities. She chose to comfort me, to be there for me instead of ridiculing me, instead of rejecting me. I considered that, perhaps, her reactions weren't the problem. The mere idea of exposing my truths left me torn and stricken, stricken and torn.

I mulled over this conundrum as I left home, making my way to the docks.

I boarded the private cruiser Tevos had lent me. None of her crew suspected anything. None of them spotted anything different about me. This persona of mine still had its benefits sometimes, like now. Once the ship took off, I went to the private room Tevos had reserved for me. I found that this bed would do perfectly well for the four-hour trip. I managed to relax quickly enough, even as I stared at Shepard's letter, wondering if I should really open it or not. Slowly but surely, I made up my mind.

I opened her letter. Just as slowly. Just as surely.

Right away, that smooth scent of her cologne reached me.

I lay down over this bed, imagining her words as this comforter around my body, blanketing me:

Aria,

I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since I left your room the other night, you've been on my mind.

Being on Thessia without you is bittersweet. It's only for a few days, I know. You'll be here soon. I wish you would've let me come pick you up on the Normandy. You insisted on coming on your own. I respect that. So I'll at least make sure this reaches you before you set off. Maybe you'll read it on the way here.

I miss you a lot, babe. Your presence is special to me. No matter how you feel, what your mood is, I'm always happy to be around you. I don't want to say we're comfortable together. That has a certain connotation. But in some ways, I do want us to be comfortable. Our lives are so hectic, so chaotic. We have so many different responsibilities, both separately and together. What I mean is—I want you to relax with me. I want you to feel at home with me. And I want you to know that I'm here. I can still sense your doubts. I understand why you have them. Neither of us has the best track record with these things.

I have my own fears, too. Sometimes I worry about moving too fast. Yesterday I started worrying about being too much for you. Like I might scare you off. I hold back all the time because I'm holding back so much. I just want to care for you all the time. I want to please you so hard. I want to take you there—as much as I possibly can. I want to do everything for you, Aria. Anything you need. You're such a gift. You deserve better than what you've had in the past. More than anything, I want to be your one exception.

You've given me a real miracle lately. I'm actually hopeful again. I'm optimistic again. I have my cynicisms, but those don't apply to you. You're my truest exception. Just like I hope to be for you. After everything, I wasn't sure if I could ever feel like this. Thankfully you proved me wrong. I'm glad you did.

I feel the sun in my heart. All the time, all for you. Only for you.

I'm really looking forward to seeing you again. Call me whenever you're up for it. I'm always free for you.

Your devotion,

Shepard

.

Needing to bask in her words, needing to know this was real, I read over her letter several more times.

Each time I did, it was like new again.

Shepard had such a gift for getting through to me.

My devotion, absolutely.

Finally pacified, I used my omni-tool to give her a call.

Never one to keep me waiting, Shepard picked up immediately.

"Hey, babe," she soothed. "You all right?"

"Mmm, more or less," I riddled. "I'm on my flight now. What about you? Sounds like you're alone. I thought you'd be out somewhere."

"I am out. I'm by myself, but I'm not on the ship. I'm sitting by one of the lakes in Armali. It's really nice."

"Liara's hometown is quite peaceful. What've you been doing out there? Just enjoying the view?"

"I made a few plans for us, actually. I'd like to take you out later. Not for a whole production, though. Not this time. We can keep things simple tonight—if it suits you."

I smiled over her foresight. "Yes, I do want you to take me out tonight. Wherever you have in mind. Simple works just fine for me. I won't be there for a few more hours, though. When are you planning for us to head out?"

"Whenever you have time. I figured you'd want to go see Liselle first. Spend some time with her."

"I really should. I promised we'd see each other for my birthday. Even though we had our vid call that day, it still wasn't the same. Liselle was oddly understanding of the change in itinerary, you know."

Shepard seemed to smile on her end. "Was she?"

"Oh, she was. My daughter had all but encouraged me to spend the day with you instead."

"I think Liselle's trying to make sure we stay together."

"I know she is. She's never done this before. Only with you. I'm taking it as a very good sign."

"Yeah… Guess I'm just not used to someone caring like this."

Amused, I pointed out, "I thought you would be used to having people in your business. Isn't that what the team's always doing with you? Or trying to do, anyway. You're rightly their number one focus."

"That's true. It's another reason why I like being here. The team's actually off doing their own thing. They're giving me my space. Think they talked about going to Dark Goddess later. I wanted to go back, but I'm not sure if I want to run into everyone. Something tells me they're going to be on one tonight."

"They're going to be…on one? Babe, what does that mean?"

Shepard laughed a bit. "Basically, they're going to get hammered. Wasted. Right before the suicide mission? You can bet anything they're going to lose their minds. I almost wanna see it for myself."

"Well, maybe you should. And maybe you should take me with you. You and I could get up to something…interesting on a night like this. Especially at Dark Goddess—and in the VIP section, no less. So why don't we go there after our date? We can have fun, let loose. Forget about everything else."

"All right, babe. Whatever you want."

We kept speaking for the rest of my flight. I had no idea how we passed the time without noticing. Shepard loved to compliment me on my charisma, yet she also had a unique charm of her own. Easygoing, non-judgmental, she had a knack for helping me relax. Helping me forget about the rest—even before our time together later on tonight. The whole time she spoke to me, I felt my hands roaming my body…by accident. Sometimes Shepard would hear the evidence in my tone. Just how much she'd relaxed me. That heated sultriness in my tone, completely unintentional. Her own voice deepened in response, taking my mind there for the rest of these hours. I honestly needed her hands over me. I needed her to touch me, to take me with the purest gold of her intentions, colorized as her eyes, her skin, her hair. Everything about her so heavenly in thought and in meaning. Without realizing it, I figured out exactly how we would spend our time together that night. Just a matter of patience until then.

By the time I reached Thessia in the afternoon, I really had forgotten all about the incident from earlier that day. I could actually enjoy this whole song and dance, arriving to my homeworld in style. As soon as I exited Tevos' private cruiser, I had a private limousine waiting for me. I settled into the chilled comfort of the backseat, ordering my driver to get me to the University of Serrice. Liselle had no idea I was on my way to see her. I wanted to keep things that way. I supposed I wanted to get back at her, playfully, for all of her sneaking around these days. As much as I loved her…Liselle really needed to mind her own business. She should've grown out of this precocious phase years ago. Then again, this was all part of her charm. When I thought of it that way, I couldn't get too angry with her. I also admired Shepard for putting up with my daughter's antics. No doubt this hadn't been easy for her. But she did it for me.

After getting to Liara's alma mater, I followed the path she and Shepard took the other day.

I found the school of history, so well-guarded compared to the other buildings around.

And I found my daughter with her commando squadmates, all of them still looking incredibly bored.

The second she saw me approaching, I basked in the look of pure horror on her face.

Such sweet revenge.

Liselle hurried over my way, intercepting me; keeping her squad from overhearing us:

"Mom, what are you doing here? How did you find out where I'm stationed?! What the hell!?"

"Hello to you, too, Liselle," I chatted, utterly unconcerned by her panicking. "I thought I'd surprise you with a visit. We weren't able to spend time together in-person for my birthday, after all. So this is me making up for things. Don't you want to see your own mother? Because if you don't, I'll leave."

"Ugh, don't get all passive-aggressive on me… I missed you a lot. I'm just shocked to see you."

Liselle at least caved and gave me a hug. She did this, knowing her squad watched us. I could see the wheels turning for them, trying to tell the two of us apart. For some reason, this never got old for me.

But then I remembered: I was supposed to be oblivious about Liselle's assignment here.

She couldn't know what I knew. I knew why she was here, who she guarded and why.

Leaning into the absurdity, I put on an act for her, acting appropriately displeased over everything:

"So, are you going to explain to me why you're here? Why you and your team are guarding a damned school? Your combat skills are only going to waste in a place like this. You've overqualified for the job."

Liselle groaned, giving the usual boilerplate response—"It's from Asari High Command. Need-to-know. And you're not on the list. Sorry, but orders are orders. I can't say anything more. Not even for you."

"Well that's just ridiculous. If there's anyone you should be able to tell, it's me. Did you forget I wore your same uniform back in the day? I have a higher security clearance than you. You should tell me."

"Mom, can we not…?"

Enjoying this too much—privately—I kept going, "Who's your captain? I need to complain about this. Better yet, don't tell me. I'll figure it out myself."

Not appreciating my bossiness, Liselle quickly lost her patience. She bickered with me instead, insisting she couldn't tell me for only the vaguest of reasons. I already knew her real reasons, and her real answers, yet I continued pushing the issue nonetheless. Liselle was very clearly done with me. I knew she couldn't stand me right now. But I couldn't help loving this payback. I also realized she had gotten her mischievous streak from me. I always did like a nice game. All in good fun. Nothing malicious at all.

I only stopped once I spotted Shiala in the near distance, walking over this way.

Liselle did her best to scold me, "You're seriously too much."

"Oh, I know I am. But guess what? You have to put up with it. That's just too bad."

"No, it's not too bad. I almost mean that as a good thing. You're so much happier these days. I love it."

Reaching us now, Shiala stared at me in surprise. "Aria, is that you? Are you visiting your daughter?"

I had never met Shiala personally. But I was used to so-called strangers—especially other asari—acting like they knew me. Whether I liked it or not, I had earned a significant amount of notoriety among my people. So I just let the whole thing slide, going with the flow instead. Something I usually didn't do.

"Yes, I am," I responded. "You must be Shiala. I understand you worked with Benezia in the past."

"Matriarch Benezia was good to me for many years. That all changed with Saren, as I'm sure you've heard… I am working to make amends for my past sins. But I'm afraid I cannot give any further details."

"I wasn't exactly pleased when Liselle couldn't give me any information. Still, I suppose I should respect the process. If you really can't say any more, I'll just have to accept it. That's not my thing, but I'm going with it for my daughter's sake. If anything, I'm mostly displeased by how bored she is here."

Shiala thankfully knew what I meant. "You believe your daughter's potential is going to waste?"

"Pretty much. This is no offense to you. It's merely a mother's concern."

"I am sorry you feel that way, Aria… From the outside, I certainly see why you would reach those conclusions. However, I can assure you that Liselle's work is of the utmost importance. When this is all over, her contributions will be greatly rewarded. Surely your daughter is deserving of such accolades."

"Of course she is. You've convinced me. I'll stay in my lane."

Shiala smiled over Liselle's abject relief. "Then I will leave the two of you to your conversation. I hope you have a wonderful day. I also wish you the best of luck, Aria, with the conclusion of your mission."

Once we had our space again, Liselle told me, "I can't believe you backed off."

"Shiala had a strong argument. That was enough. Or do you want me to make a fuss? Is that it?"

"No, I don't… I guess I'm used to you bulldozing everyone until you get your way. You're usually not willing to listen to anyone. It kind of makes me suspicious, you know? Like, what aren't you telling me?"

"I'll accept you earning those rewards in exchange for keeping me in the dark. It's what you deserve."

"Hmm, if you say so."

I honestly would've been disappointed if Liselle hadn't picked up on anything. She knew better.

Liselle couldn't get away from work today. From the sounds of things, she had quite the long shift to deal with this time. But she would be off for the whole day tomorrow. So we agreed to meet up properly then, spending some quality time together. We said our goodbyes for now. Liselle made sure to embrace me again, telling me she loved me. I couldn't say the words back to her. I had done it before. But ever since then, whenever she would say this, I didn't know how to reciprocate. Not minding at all, Liselle just beamed at me, promising we would see each other again soon. Then I returned to my limousine.

Shepard had mentioned that we'd stay on Thessia for a few more days. And then she would contact the Illusive Man, learning whatever we needed to do to earn that Reaper IFF from him. Once we had the IFF installed on the Normandy, we would take off past the Omega 4 Relay. As important as all of that was…I didn't want to think about it right now. I focused on this free time. These last few days of our freedom.

Back in the darkened interior of my backseat, I touched base with Shepard, asking where she was. She hadn't moved from that lake. Enjoying her Zen for the day, I said I'd pick her up from there. So she waited for me. Once my limo reached her, I waited for just a few moments longer. I spotted her silhouette outside the tinted window—so tall and inviting, her long hair flowing behind her. Then she opened the car door opposite me, on that other side of the backseat, Thessia's sunlight briefly beaming through to these shadowed shades inside. The second I saw the glow of her gorgeous face, I had to keep from smiling too much. Especially once I noticed her outfit as well. The pressed and creased long sleeves of Shepard's white shirt held her movements. The fetish of her slim, tight leather pants angled this way and that as she settled into her seat, the silvers of her zippers and hanging chains enticing me. And as she smiled at me, I spotted a strong pattern over one of her sleeves, running down her arm and across her chest. The black of a Far Eastern dragon raged there over the white, almost like a tattoo on fabric.

"So this is how you roll, huh?" she teased in approval. "A private limousine. You're a real celebrity."

"But of course, babe. I only want the best. You already know this. It's for you, too. Not just me."

Simple and clean, Shepard reached over this way, giving me this unforgettable comfort of her lips. The perfect shape, the perfect thickness, the perfect intentions. Time slowed as she simmered me in this heat, hazing me as a sauna. That steam misted my eyes as I opened them, briefly, cloaked behind the lengthened curtains of her hair. Past this sanctuary, I made sure the darkened partition separated us from the front of the limousine, giving us this privacy. Shepard knew the same, curling her grip around my hips, down to my thighs, so expert in her touch, pulling these reactions out of me. Shifting and shifting my body around with this growing tension, like I needed to stretch. Except I just needed her to—

"Aria…"

Our driver had returned to the skies, taking us nowhere in particular for the time being.

Shepard had opened her eyes.

Thessia's tinted daylight rayed through her sight, illuminating her insight.

With that insight, she managed to spot this truth in me. This evidence from earlier in the day. What I worked so hard to hide, to bury away. That incident with my ex. How I'd reacted. How upset I had been.

Shepard shielded me from all that. She wrapped her arms around my back, around my neck, easing me closer. The way she held me, Shepard let me bury my face against her neck, hiding in her warmth; in this fine smell of her cologne; over the perfect crease of her shirt's collar. Shepard kept me here for a long moment. I kept my eyes closed. We kept this between us, and I marveled over her insight, her empathy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she worried, smoothing her hand over my head.

"Reading your letter helped—a lot," I muttered against her. "I was all right again. I was perfectly fine."

"I understand."

"Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. This is supposed to be our time. I don't want to ruin things. So instead, I want to know what you have planned. For our date tonight. What did you have in mind?"

Shepard explained, "It's nothing fancy, like I said. There's a vid I want us to watch. At the theater."

Getting an idea now, I asked her, "Does it have to be here? Or can I take us to a theater out of town?"

"Doesn't have to be here. We can go to another one if you'd like. Depends on when the vid's showing."

"Well, I'm taking you to my hometown," I said, using my omni-tool. "Our driver will get us there in about twenty minutes. There's a theater not too far from my penthouse, over in that shopping center you saw in my memories. We can go there. Now what's this vid called? I'll find out what time it's showing."

"It's a human crime drama called Like a Dragon."

I smiled over that pattern on Shepard's shirt. "Like a Dragon, you say? Sounds intriguing. Let's see…" A riveting cinematic showcasing the gritty power struggles between the Japanese mafia—the yakuza—and the Chinese and Korean mafias in Tokyo and Yokohama on Earth. "Looks like the next one starts in an hour and a half. That'll give us enough time to relax at home first. We can head to the club afterward."

"Works for me."

Shepard kept me in her hold for the rest of the ride. So strong, so sensitive—she gave me everything I needed. Everything I never knew I needed. I had gotten used to not having this. Or I would mock the idea, acting like I was above it all. In reality, I hated the idea of needing this from someone, only for them to take it away from me. I hated the idea of relying on another person, being vulnerable with them—only to get the rug pulled from underneath me. Shepard saw past all of that. She didn't give me the chance to mock myself in shame. She just gave me what I needed, letting her love speak for itself.

---

Even without looking at the time, I knew the exact moment we neared my snowy hometown up north.

The temperature in our limo suddenly dropped to a freeze.

As I fought not to shiver, ready to yell at the driver to turn the fucking heater on, Shepard took care of things instead. She activated those temperature implants of hers. She warmed her own body as she warmed mine, sharing this with me through our bond. Outside our darkened windows, I still had a decent view of the town all lit up in the early evening. Admittedly, being back here didn't make me as irritable as I'd expected. I normally hated returning to this place. But not this time. I focused more on the endearing look on Shepard's face as she gazed out the windows. Maybe she enjoyed witnessing this history of mine through her own eyes. However she felt, it helped get rid of my more typical pessimism.

But once we arrived outside my penthouse, right by the door to the lobby, I spotted her apprehensions.

The snow didn't come down too hard, yet it wasn't exactly a light flurry, either. Somewhere in between.

"Oh, right," I remembered. "Your hair doesn't really agree with the weather here."

Shepard shrugged. "Even though it's snow instead of rain, it'll still melt into water. I don't have a hood."

Thinking nothing of it, I took off my white leather jacket, handing it to her.

"Then use this as a hood instead. At least until we get to the lobby."

Shepard accepted my donation with a smile, at once adorably sheepish and eternally grateful.

"Thanks, babe."

Using one hand to shield her hair with my jacket, Shepard used her other hand to hold mine. On the way up to my penthouse, we talked about the vast differences between our hometowns. I was shocked to learn that it never, ever snowed where Shepard was from. Given that the city resided next to a desert, it only made sense. I almost envied her until she reminded me of the heat she had to deal with instead. That heat wave in her mind couldn't have been a coincidence. Surely her body had retained the seasons.

Once we had our privacy again, this time at home, I soon fell into my relaxation.

Shepard certainly eased me along, lying us down on the couch. Fireplace warming, veranda open to the snowfall lighting through the night. We didn't stay still for long. Touching my face, tasting my skin, Shepard eased me into this eroticism, too. I barely registered her words, what she said to me. When she asked if I wanted her to cook dinner for me. My mouth watered over the memory of her cooking, yet I had to say no. If I let her wine and dine me like that, I'd never want to leave the house. Just as I never wanted to leave now, thriving with Shepard's body on top of mine, her weight over me. She remained so considerate, so careful not to overwhelm me, physically. Even as I spread my legs for her, feeling Shepard against me, I needed more. I gripped at her, almost losing my mind from this lack, starving of her. How long she had made me wait. How I had wasted the chance to truly be with her the other night.

So once it was time to leave for the theater, I made up my mind.

I went to my room, acting like I only meant to pick out a hooded jacket for Shepard to wear.

But as I browsed the items in my holo-closet, I also had other ideas in mind. Not-so-innocent ones.

Then I invited Shepard into my room to try on the jacket first. Before something else.

"I like it," she approved, putting the hood on. "All-black. Goes with my leather pants and my boots."

"Yes, I agree," I said, rather airy. "You look quite dashing, Shepard. It suits you." I brought up a preview for what I really wanted her to wear. "Now for a surprise. Think you can fit this under your clothes?" Oh, the look on her face… Priceless. "Well? You aren't saying anything. Will you be able to handle it for me?"

Not too long, not too thick.

The perfect shape for our perfect night together.

"I can handle this for you, yeah…"

Luckily, Shepard didn't ask any questions. She just put it on under her clothes. Just as I had asked for.

Such a gentleman as well: she knew not to tempt me right away. Not before our date. Shepard held my hand as we left home. She held my hand as we walked to the theater—foregoing the limousine this time. She held my hand without letting her hormones get the better of her. Shepard enjoyed this atmosphere with me instead. The atmosphere of my hometown in these glittering lights—the department stores, the bars and the restaurants—all looking like Christmas in the snow, year-round. Of course everyone stared at us. I had gotten quite used to it by now. I'd grown to enjoy the status of it all.

And once we arrived to the theater, we didn't need to bother standing in line.

Shepard and I went straight through the entrance.

I didn't want any snacks or anything, and neither did she. We simply went to find our seats for the vid. In the dark of the theater, with only the giant screen lighting our way, Shepard led me to the special Spectre seats. We sat down together, side-by-side, far-enough-removed from everyone else filing in. During the ads before the vid, I watched Shepard carefully. I wondered if I could get away with teasing her in a public space like this. Shepard already had on her best metaphorical restraints. The only thing straight about her was her body, how she controlled herself so hard. It took everything in me to not run my hand over her leather pants. Even if I didn't stroke her—accidentally or not—I could've at least toyed with the zippers, the chains over her leather. The possibilities truly seemed unending.

Yet I somehow managed to behave myself.

Shepard wrapped her arm around my shoulders, holding me close. Perhaps in an attempt to control me, to control my imagination. Just to be nice for once, I settled on enjoying this vid with her instead. Like a Dragon. I adored Shepard's consideration in choosing this vid for us. She knew I liked crime dramas. This one was certainly something else. The whole macho power fantasy entertained me more than I'd expected. I definitely found myself engrossed in the gritty underworld story, with these gangs fighting their enemies and defending their allies to the death. During the more intense one-on-one battles, I started smiling the most. These buff men in three-piece suits would seriously rip off their shirts, revealing the colorful, intricate tattoos over their muscled backs, just before their big brawls. It was so fucking surreal to me. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, so campy and unintentionally hilarious.

More than anything, I loved that Shepard and I could even have a date like this.

Just something…normal for once. As odd as that seemed.

Exceptional, talented, driven—Shepard had it all. She had everything going for her. Yet she chose to set that aside, indulging in this normalcy with me. Something familiar. Something comfortable. Something far less intense than our usual high-stress responsibilities. Exactly as she'd written in her letter. I appreciated this more because she was anything but normal. We could unwind with this campy, macho yakuza vid, laughing together. We could forget about everything else, just as I wanted for us tonight.

After the vid, during our limousine ride back to Armali, I stayed in a very good mood. I listened intently as Shepard told me more about the yakuza, including the video games she enjoyed involving them. Best of all, there was apparently a sequel in the works for the vid we'd just watched.

"Promise you'll take me to see the sequel," I told her. "This should be our thing. It'll be special."

Shepard smiled. "I promise, Aria. We'll be the first ones in line. Or the first ones to skip the line."

Fashionably late for the crowds, we rolled up to Dark Goddess at nearly midnight.

No need for the front entrance packed with people, the line winding out the door and down the block.

We took the back entrance instead, leading us straight to the VIP section.

Sultry, downtempo trip-hop and alternative R&B played over the speakers as we arrived, welcoming us. Anything I would've found on Shepard's playlists, really. The music's bass thudded through the walls, massaging at a distance before we stepped through. Louder, crisper, the music quietly impassioned Shepard with me, keeping us closer together as we walked along. Of course everyone recognized us. The guards, the bouncers took note of Shepard holding my hand, leading me through to the darkness of the club. Everyone else in the VIP area did the same, our names clearly on their lips as we walked by. They all had a very good reason to stare, aside from recognizing us as a couple. This power Shepard exuded as she led me forward, using her body to guard me from nearly everyone's intrusive stares—they noticed that, too.

Not to mention, every time she pressed her front to my back, I felt her hardened heat against me.

Every time, Shepard would groan, so guttural, trying to ease away from me.

I had to smirk over the novelty, pressing my hand behind me, behind to her leg. Using my nails to grip onto her leather. Teasing a little.

When we reached the main area, Shepard stood behind me. We stayed put for a bit; she let me tease her a little more as I glanced around. Darkened as a black haze, this club still felt the same to me since my last visit years ago. Such tall, wide windows allowed the moonlight to shine in as the only real light. Faint smells of expensive wines and champagnes filtered through the space. The reasonably-packed bars with groups of friends laughing together. The more intimate booths with mainly couples sitting together, their hands roaming openly beneath the tables. The open balconies past the windows, widening out to a view of the city at night—endless asari ingenuity on full-display across the horizon. And all the people packed onto the dance floor, close together on purpose, grinding to the ethereal vibes of this fine music.

Shepard wrapped her arms around my waist, locking me a bit. Just enough to keep me smirking, smiling.

She whispered in my ear, deeper—"Do you want a drink or anything?"

"I do, actually. We should both have one. Thessian wine while we're here."

"Very traditional, babe."

I didn't bother having us go over to the bar. We simply sat down on one of the open leather couches. As I'd expected, the club's manager arrived to greet us personally. She had two glasses of Thessian wine on-hand already, giving me mine and giving Shepard hers. I also expected that the manager would make another exception…later on. I looked forward to surprising Shepard with the additional VIP treatment.

But, for now, we sat on this couch together, sipping the perfumed blue of our wine. Slowly, steadily. I soon spotted a comfortable red heating through Shepard's face. I whispered in her ear about it, teasing some more. Shepard laughed, limiting where her hands roamed over my body. She still had her control.

Keeping a good view of the room, I leaned closer to her ear, to her neck, feeling this heat exuding.

"I'm wondering now," I murmured. "Even without alcohol, how long could you go without acting on anything? If I said you weren't allowed to have sex with me—ever—would you protest at all?"

"…that would be a very hard pill to swallow. But I'd have to respect your decision."

"Shepard, don't give me that diplomatic answer. I want to know what you really think."

Shepard made a point to take another sip of her drink first.

And when she spoke again, her words had loosened and lightened just enough, relaxing in reality:

"Aria, if you want me to be straight-up… I don't think I'd be able to survive a situation like that. Never being able to touch you… I can't even imagine it."

I pressed Shepard's head closer to my neck, closer and closer, guarding her in my own ways.

"You can't, hm?" I asked, smiling over our closeness, and this honesty of hers.

"No…I can't. I need to know how you feel. I need to know how you sound, the way you move. All of it."

Eternally pleased, I combed my hand through Shepard's hair, preening her as a light reward. She groaned a bit, relaxing. Relaxing even as my touch kept her on, kept her imagination racing and racing.

Behind her in the distance, on the other side of the room, I spotted a few familiar faces—

Zaeed sitting on a different couch with his girlfriend, the two of them laughing over drinks.

Jack and Kasumi standing near them, joining in on whatever was so funny over there.

Vega looming off to the side, leaning against a wall. He had his ridiculously-muscled arms folded in front of him, all while he observed everyone around. Eventually, he made eye contact with me. I smirked at him, still preening Shepard like this. James choked up. He quickly wandered off—out of my line of sight.

Joker and EDI shared a booth together in a corner. They exchanged a visibly awkward conversation: EDI kept closing herself off, refusing to look at him. Joker had already had a few beers, the bottle in his hand half-empty. He looked to be slurring his words, pouring his heart out as he nearly cried to EDI, who didn't seem all that sympathetic. Was Joker seriously that desperate for some synthetic ass? Pathetic.

Meanwhile, Mordin, Garrus, Kaidan, and Javik enjoyed themselves at the bar. They chose to go all-out for the occasion, ordering several drinks. The men knocked them back as they talked and joked around. I had to wonder just how long they would last. Surely they would end up plastered within the next hour.

I understandably didn't see Samara anywhere. This wasn't her crowd.

Legion hadn't showed up, either. Perhaps it had had its fill of observing organics back at Afterlife.

That only left the partners-in-crime, Tali and Liara, as the last two notable stragglers.

I sensed them in here somewhere. I just wasn't sure where they'd gone off to…

Right as I thought that, I finally spotted them.

Tali held Liara's hand, leading her outside to one of the balconies. Liara had a half-smile on her face, quite relaxed from the drink she'd probably had. Tali's composure looked about the same as ever. I imagined they were off to have one of their private talks together. They soon escaped past my view, yet I noticed Jack watching them from not too far away. She did her best to stay focused on her discussion with Kasumi, Zaeed and his girlfriend. That inescapable pull kept pulling her eyesight toward the pair.

But once I figured I'd accounted for everyone, someone had to go and prove me wrong.

The faint light in the area gleamed over the dark of her hair, the black of her Cerberus uniform. That cat suit undeniably shaped her body, even if I couldn't make out her face from this distance. Only once I narrowed my eyes did I get a better look at her expression. That determined anger. That jealous rage. Whatever boo-hooing she'd fallen into before had vanished away. I had no idea what possessed her to go on the hunt like this, searching for either Shepard or myself. Or both of us, clearly looking to start a fight. Maybe she'd finally snapped. Maybe she finally couldn't take it anymore, suffering in agony while Shepard left her behind. Either way, it didn't fucking matter. If I let Miranda find us, then she would've had hell to pay. I didn't want this damn drama to ruin my night with Shepard. Not tonight; not this time.

Before Miranda could look over here, I pulled Shepard along with me.

Rather tipsy from our potent glasses of wine, she simply went with the motion, staying by my side.

I brought Shepard to the hallways in the back of the club.

These hallways led to several private rooms, each guarded by the bouncers in the hall.

Just as I turned the corner down this hallway, Miranda spotted me. She made a beeline over this way.

I hurried Shepard along to one of the rooms.

She looked around, asking, "Babe, what's going on…?"

"Nothing—I'm impatient."

I escorted Shepard into the room first. She went over to the decent-sized bed along the opposite wall. While she relaxed, safe and sound, I kept one foot out the door. Miranda had made it to this hallway. Glaring up a storm, she glanced this way and that, trying to find me. I hailed one of the guards over.

"She's stalking us," I said, gesturing to Miranda. "Get her out of here. Now."

No questions asked. "Right away, Aria."

I shut the door before Miranda spotted me.

With the thickness of these darkened walls, I didn't hear her reaction as the bouncer escorted her from the premises. The music from the club played at a lighter volume in here, also washing out the inevitable protesting outside. I instead heard the sounds of Shepard unzipping her boots. She had sat down on the bed, tending to herself now. One at a time, Shepard removed her shoes, setting them down on the hard floor, aligned in perfect symmetry. Those echoes sounded of her smooth soles hitting the surface; those small zippers shifting and settling in place. Shepard's leathers and chains shifted and settled as well. She moved fully onto the bed, resting her head over one of the pillows. That dragon over her shirt rose and fell as she breathed—steadily, quietly. All while she observed me.

I'd wanted us to come back here all along.

Just not under these circumstances.

I would have to see Miranda later on the Normandy. I couldn't get around it. For her sake, I hoped she decided to drop this axe she had to grind. Because if she pointed that thing at me, I would've had no choice but to turn the axe back around on her, likely to deadly effect. Even though I didn't want to.

Sensing Shepard's concern, I went over to her anyway. I took off my jacket, first, setting it aside.

I lifted my leg and mounted her waist. Pressing my hands to her shoulders, I adored this extra feeling between me. Bending my knees, pressing down harder, I smiled over this shape of her, hardening more by the moment. Shepard gripped at my thighs, even as she fought to hold onto her senses. Maybe she wanted to ask me what had happened a few minutes ago. She knew I wouldn't give her a clear-cut answer. Hypnotizing her more, I leaned down, sealing my unsworn silence over her lips.

Somewhere through my spellbinding, Shepard found just enough sobriety for the moment.

She lifted her hands so softly. She settled that softness over my face. I felt the bends of her fine shapes, shaping me and wanting me. Shepard's stare glowed in the humid dark of this room. Even as I kept settling over her, shifting my hips, she had already fixated her gaze on me. Something turned and churned through that wonderfully labyrinthine mind of hers. Something she wouldn't say right away.

"What is it?" I asked, still clasping my lips over hers. "You're giving me a look. In case you didn't realize."

Choosing to keep this special secret to herself, Shepard said nothing.

She merely kept her eyes open as I adored her.

"Well, that's not fair." I fastened my fingers over the topmost button of her shirt, undoing. "But I guess that's your thing. Quiet and mysterious. Keeping me guessing. I'm always wondering about you…" Halfway done, halfway unbuttoned, I peeled her shirt back, halved and halved down her chest. The texture of her undershirt tightened over her sports bra, tighter each time she breathed under me. "I think you like this thing we have. When you say nothing, you get to stay in-control. How convenient." Unbuttoned all the way now. I needed this shirt gone. "Sit up for a minute. I'm taking this off of you."

Shepard obliged, sitting up for me. She neared her front to mine. As I took her shirt off, she kept that same look in her eyes. Even as I folded her shirt nicely—knowing she wouldn't want me to wrinkle her clothes—Shepard wouldn't shift her mystique. Only once I set her shirt aside did she finally change. She grabbed me by my thighs, hoisting my weight over. She turned me around, moving me down over my back on this other side of the bed. All of a sudden Shepard pressed me down, staring me down with that same quiet allure of hers. She only spoke with her touch, palming the surface of my breastplate. She couldn't feel for herself how my heart had picked up for her. But Shepard could certainly imagine it, all while her hand roamed and roamed, farther down my body, as if studying me. Those invisible palpitations branded over her palm; I felt them reflecting back over my body, harder as she gripped my waist. She did this as she kept her eyes to mine. That focus in her stare only goaded me to look away.

I almost couldn't stand this mystery of hers.

Too many unknowns—they forced me on-edge, on this edge, hanging over the edge of this cliff. I held onto the safety of Shepard's shoulders, fastening my grip around her muscles, so limber. Such perfect physicality from her in the way she touched me. Yet she chose to keep her mind well out of my reach.

"Shepard… What are you thinking right now?"

She hovered her hands over this up-and-down of my stomach, breaths unsteady.

And I needed her to unbuckle my clothes right this second.

But she also knew what else I needed—some types of answers, ideally much sooner than this second.

Shepard kept palming the silvers of my buckles. She centered her weight there, leaning over me. Leaning and reaching far enough to my face. She whispered her breaths over my hearing, before seizing me:

"Aria, you really fucking need me. Don't you?"

Then she had the nerve to spread my legs open, just by using hers. Just by moving and making me move with her. Covered by the tautness of her leather, she pressed her own desperation against me, between me. Shepard forced this damned reaction out of me. She grinned in such a sick satisfaction, loving how I locked my arms around her back. She gave me what I wanted: she unbuckled my harness, freeing my hips and my chest from that confinement. Already Shepard could press herself over me, warmer and wetter than before. No need to take off the lengths of the leather over my legs, or my boots. She had easy access to me just like this. But as easy as I was, I worried. I worried and worried that she'd eroded away any challenge, any resistance from me. Because I kept bucking against her, needing her in me.

This pressure from the way she touched me—almost too exquisite. Like she had spent so much time thinking about me, honing in on what she knew I wanted. And then she gave it to me now.

But the moment Shepard went down on me, that motion from her set too much more in motion.

Her body moving down on mine, like perfection grating away at my carefully-built image;

Her wet, open-mouthed adulation over my thighs, with her firm tongue already wrecking me;

And always that shape of her smile. Shepard's breaths had shaped of her smile. She gave me both, inching and inching up between my legs, until finally she latched her mouth onto me. Curling her arms around my legs, gripping, she locked me in-place. Every fucking thing she did yanked a reaction out of me. Convulsing, not myself anymore—the pressured presses of her tongue against me, flat and textured of her taste, was all she really needed. That was all she needed to make me grip her head, burying my hold into the endlessness of her hair. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn't get my control back. Shepard put that unexpected strength of hers to use, controlling and controlling me. She quickly found my body's triggers, triggering and triggering in her impossible intensity. She refused to let up.

"Shepard, you can't… You can't fucking do this to me. You can't!"

Shepard smirked, uncoiling one of her arms from around my leg.

One of her fingers she curled into me, slipping right back out. Two of them she curled inside, keeping them in, pushing up higher. Just those two, just this tease as she kept on with her mouth and tongue. Both she kept on. Both she pressed on. Both she came on and on, pulling these reactions out of me, as easily as I drenched her mouth and her hand. Breathing too quickly, still thrashing in her hold, I scrambled for something. Any semblance of control. Any way to keep these frights of mine from falling out of me completely. Because the harder Shepard fixed her powerful gaze on me, the more I felt myself crumbling underneath her. She refused to let up. She refused to look away. She refused to let me run away from these emotions, elevating me as much as she destroyed me over and over and over again.

And she was only getting started.

I melded with Shepard again. All without a single thought, without telling myself to do it. Just by pure reflex alone. In the process, I thought I could get the upper-hand again. I thought I could retake my control, my balance, my sense of self. But then I saw the ultimate truth, unhidden and unvarnished within Shepard's being. As much as she refused to close her eyes, refusing to look away from me, I saw the rest in her. Shepard only thought of me. She only imagined me, felt me. She had no one else on her mind. No one on the edges, the outskirts, or even on the horizon. This definitive stroke to my ego, stroking me as much as her tongue did at this pleasured frequency. The purest exclusivity I'd always wanted with her. Just how fucking selfish I was that Shepard's sole attention could mean this much.

If I wasn't so overwhelmed right now…

Maybe Shepard sensed this in me. Maybe she did, because she finally let up. She cut me a break, cut me some slack. She actually allowed me to breathe. Breathing deeply herself, Shepard moved back up to me, right on top of me. As she gave me this moment, I felt her observations, her remembrance. How she took such careful note of my limits. The exact location of this line in me.

Shepard saw that line—still a decent distance away—and she chose to go nowhere near it.

She simply wiped the sweat from my face, kissing away the residue still streaking down my skin. Yet this precision of her perceptions kept sparking me. I wanted more. I didn't want her to stop. This pulsing from her between me—hopeful, wanton—not at all expectant or oppressive. Shepard found the permission in my eyes and went there, easing her hips up, easing in. Slick already from how slick I was, and thickening, thickening. She eased herself into me all the way. Complete belonging. Right where I'd wanted her for so long, widening me in her perfection. Shepard wouldn't look away from me, either. She let me breathe, again, but I suddenly needed so much more. I reached down to the belt loops over her leather pants, pulling and pulling. As I curled my hands around her waist, I felt these contractions of Shepard's muscles, and her movements as she moved, thrusting slowly, trying to feel me like this.

Already adrift beneath her, she'd surrounded me in her, and I still needed more.

"Harder," I begged, grabbing at her again. "Harder, Shepard. Fuck me." Shepard grunted in a depth of surprise. "Anything could happen… I don't want to miss out on you. I can't go another day without knowing how you feel. Just give it to me as hard as you can."

Taking my words to heart, Shepard gripped me around my back, my shoulders.

Such a sweet constriction from her only opened me more.

She steadily ramped up. Steadily, so steadily. This grip she kept around me, Shepard used as her anchor. Our fronts practically welded together. The flex of her arms, her shoulders, her back. Her back controlling her waist as she steadily, steadily fucked me harder. This thick bluntness of her pressing at the top of me. Pressing and pressing and pressing, never sharpening and never hurting me directly. She made me scream her name anyway, just from her fucking conviction. I grabbed at her shoulders and held on, holding on. Shepard growled in her force. So single-minded—she kept her control and fucked me out of mine. She fucked me right through these thrashing waves, seizing me, everywhere. Shepard knew where she'd taken me. She kept going. How many hours passed with her sweating over me like this? Shepard endured and endured. She took me so hard, I feared I wouldn't be able to move whenever we stopped. But I didn't want her to stop. I never wanted her to stop. I constantly wanted this feeling, taking us through the night. The late night still eclipsing the early morning in darkness. Addictive, addicting, addicted and so obvious as the paired sound. She sounded completely beautiful, giving me everything of her, everything I had ever imagined—

Ruining everything, a sudden, loud, unintelligible garble of noise nearly blew out the club's speakers.

"Fuck!" yelled Shepard, curling her head over my breasts. "What was that fucking noise?!"

Drowned-out noises of screaming from outside—I held Shepard closer to me. This immediate instinct overwhelmed me, even as I tried looking around, searching around to no avail. No one was in here. I couldn't hear any gunshots in the hallway or even farther than that. Shepard's own instincts kicked in, too. She pulled out from me—mindful to not do it too quickly, to avoid hurting me too much. But then I realized the dull pain between my legs. Compounded with all the confusion, I felt my temper spiking.

Someone's digitized voice screamed out through the speakers—

"…MAKE IT STOP!"

Such an agonizing sound of begging, pleading.

Was someone in pain…?

Shepard flinched from her own pain, holding onto me as a reflex. She tensed her neck. The way she groaned—I worried she had a sudden, splintering headache. With shaking hands, I grabbed her face, making Shepard look at me. She had her eyes closed. Closed shut in that agonizing aching of hers.

I fought not to panic—"Shepard, look at me. I said look at me. What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

That motherfucking voice over the speakers again—

"QUIET PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!"

The monitor on the wall opposite me showed the pixelated shape of someone's face. That pale, unnatural green; the person's mouth shouted out those words in that apparent pain, entirely helpless.

And Shepard's eyes shot open, her irises glowing the same green.

I cursed in fright—"Son of a bitch!"

Shepard sharply shook her head, wresting back her control. She opened her eyes wide and wider, hard and harder, exposing the whites of her sight to the dark around us. As she took a moment—even with the ongoing panic outside, louder and louder—she found her calm. That green in her eyes dissipated. She breathed again, this time without pain. If this was some digital attack, some virus, then all those implants in her head had to have taken a hit. But where the hell did this attack, this virus come from?

"Babe, are you all right?" I worried.

"Yeah…I'll be fine," she reassured, helping me get dressed again. "Let's hurry and find the others. We have to get back to the ship. Whatever's going on, we need to put a stop to it!"

While Shepard buckled me back up, I scrambled to open my omni-tool.

I called Liselle as soon as I could. I needed to get through to her. I needed to know my child was okay.

Not a moment later, she picked up.

A bunch of static blasted through as I heard her voice—"Hey, I'm okay! I was just about to call you!"

"Good," I said, breathing out in relief. "Are you still at the university? If not, where are you?"

"My shift was almost over when everything went down. I'm still here with my team. Our captain just found us. We're trying to figure out what this is. Asari High Command thinks it's some kind of virus! Whatever it is, it's definitely broadcasting from off-world. We can't trace anything on Thessia!"

"That's what I'm thinking, too," I told her. Shepard had finished dressing me, hurrying to get herself together now. "We're heading back to the Normandy. Once we find a lead, we're going after whoever caused this. Are you staying at your station? Or is your captain moving your team someplace else?"

"We're staying here. We have to do our best to secure the school building. If anyone breached the databases in there…" Liselle remembered she wasn't supposed to give me more information. "I'll be fine, all right? I trust you and the commander to find the virus and shut it down. Keep me posted!"

I was about to reply to her—until my omni-tool crackled in that same unnatural green, killing the call.

"Damnit," I muttered. "Well, at least I know she'll be just fine." While Shepard buttoned her shirt, looking presentable again, that screaming outside grew unbearable. I felt myself getting a migraine. "I'm ready when you are. Most of the team should still be here. Let's find them and take the club's back exit. We'll pack everyone into my private limo, skip the traffic lines everywhere, and get the hell out of here."

"Sounds like a plan," agreed Shepard, heading toward the door. "Let's get moving."

And then I suddenly found that I couldn't.

Still sitting on the bed, I doubled over. I had my legs off to the side. Like I was about to stand up normally and get going. I pushed and pushed myself up with my arms. But my legs refused to cooperate. This sharp, pounding pain between me… I had completely lost access to the lower half of my body.

Shepard walked over to me, ginger in her understanding.

Now seriously wasn't the time for this.

"Babe, is this my fault?" she asked, quietly sheepish.

I scowled over the obvious.

"Sorry…"

Apologetic indeed, Shepard leaned down my way. She angled her arm beneath the bends of my legs, and wrapped her other one around my back, my waist. I had no choice but to hold her around her neck again, this time for the most embarrassing of reasons. Shepard then carried me out the room, out to the chaos. People panicking everywhere. People darting down the hallways with doors opening and closing on their own, searching for other people. People shouting others' names, trying to find their people. People and people and people in every direction, clogging the VIP section. A real fucking madhouse.

Shepard hurried back to the main area—that same place overlooking the bar, the dance floor, the balconies and the couches. We quickly found Kasumi, who'd snuck her way through the crowd. She seemed baffled to find me in Shepard's arms. Luckily, Shepard kept Kasumi from asking any questions.

Kasumi instead led us to the rest of the group. Everyone had gathered by the booths, sitting at a few of the tables nearby. But not everyone simply remained sitting down. No, not on a crazy night like this.

Still holding onto a bottle of beer, Joker had passed out in his seat. He had the side of his face plastered against the table, snoring louder than all the screaming. Garrus at least sat up normally in the both, but he, too, had fallen asleep. Kaidan groaned over his alcohol-induced migraine, complaining about the flashbacks from his old biotic implants. James sat on the floor somewhere, slumped against the wall. Over in a nearby corner, Mordin, Zaeed, and Javik had fallen asleep on each other. Jack rubbed her forehead, drunkenly grumbling over all this damned noise. EDI's platform had collapsed to the floor in a catatonic state. More or less sober, Tali and Liara stared down at her in concern—until we arrived.

I assumed Legion, Samara, and Miranda were all still on the Normandy.

Shepard ordered the non-sleeping members of our team to get everyone else moving. Forcing her focus, Jack used her biotics to move EDI's platform with us. Little Liara took the brunt of the work, hovering Garrus, Mordin, Javik, and Zaeed all at once. James looked fucking terrible, stumbling a bit, but he made himself carry Joker by brute force, promising he wouldn't drop our pilot to the ground, bones shattering. Kasumi found an optimal path for us to get out to the back exit. From there, we packed everyone into my limousine. My driver rushed us through Thessia's frenzied night skies, getting us back to the ship.

---

Once we made it to the CIC, we found the others already waiting for us.

The sheer worry in Miranda's face dissolved the moment she saw Shepard again. But then she saw me and went back to her standoffishness. Legion and Samara seemed relieved as well.

Shepard went right to the galaxy map. She set me down on the steps with the utmost care, letting me sit here. No one else had tried to ask questions. Maybe they figured I was just drunk. But then Shepard faced everyone, finding a mess. This mess of snoring sleeping beauties, all piled in the general area between the elevator, and the nearby entrances to the armory and the lab.

EDI's voice sounded over the intercom, "Shepard, I could not reach you via radio. A highly-advanced virus has been uploaded to the extranet. In order to protect the ship, I was forced to abandon control over my platform. I am nearly tasked to capacity. Miranda has given me a possible location of the virus' source. If I am to pilot the Normandy to this location, I will be unable to search for more information."

Joker mumbled incoherently in his sleep, clearly unfit to help pilot the ship.

Shepard sighed and said, "Just get us there, EDI. We'll figure out the rest later."

"Understood. I will take extra care while leaving the docking bay so as to not upset the crew. ETA to the Typhon System is three and a half hours. I advise preparing for combat once we arrive. Our destination planet contains several hostile synthetic platforms. They appear to be protecting the source of the virus."

"Noted."

Dr. Chakwas arrived on the elevator. She stepped over Zaeed's sleeping form in her way. Way too patient with this giant mess, she administered a few meds to the team scattered about the CIC. Meanwhile, Shepard glanced around at everyone. Tali, Liara, Kasumi, Legion, Samara, and Miranda all remained standing. James leaned against a wall, trying not to slide to the floor. Jack did the same not too far away, still holding onto her head. Some of the others had woken up by now. They rolled around in a mix of discomfort and lethargy, grumbling and groaning like a bunch of fucking zombies.

Shepard spoke up, "Miranda, EDI said you gave her a possible location for the virus. Do you know what's going on?"

Miranda fought to stay professional. "I do, Commander. Scientists from the Overlord Cell recently sent out an SOS to Cerberus headquarters. These scientists were attempting to control the geth through a specialized VI. My best guess is that this virus was an accident. The scientists must have lost control over the project. As a result, the abundance of mechs on the planet are now hostile, exactly as EDI warned."

So just another instance of Cerberus screwing things up. Why was I not surprised?

Then again, the name of that project sounded familiar…

Project Overlord.

Didn't Tevos mention this the last time I visited her on the Citadel?

Whatever the case, I could guess more about what happened. Those scientists couldn't control the geth at all—not after what Shepard had chosen on the geth heretic station. After Shepard had given the geth her Reason, they remained immune to this sort of thing. I had the strongest feeling this wasn't an accident. I figured the scientists unleashed the virus on purpose in some last-ditch attempt to make the geth obey them. Miranda wouldn't know that, of course, so I didn't blame her naïveté. Not this time.

Shepard sneered. "Is this another 'rogue operation', then?"

Frowning sadly, Miranda actually admitted, "It is…but not in the way you're thinking. I won't make excuses for them. I only want to get to the bottom of this. Once we arrive, I'm coming with you."

"Fine, you can come along. Just keep your word about not making excuses for them. If you start up with that Cerberus apologist shit, there's no telling how I'll react. So I strongly advise you not to test me."

The powerful bite in Shepard's tone held far more than a simple warning.

"…understood, Commander."

"As for everyone else." Shepard glanced at each of us again. "Aria, do you think you'll be good to go?"

At least some of this pain between me had resided by now… "I'll be fit for duty once we get there."

"All right. EDI, I'm assuming your platform is out of the picture until we kill this virus?"

"I am afraid so," replied EDI. "I will not be able to accompany you during the mission. But I also have a theory. Once you stop the virus from broadcasting off-world, you will still need to terminate its main source. During this process, it is possible the source will attempt to use the Normandy as an upload link. I will likely need assistance in order to thwart these attempts."

"I see what you mean. Tali, will you be able to help her out?"

"Yes, Shepard," answered Tali. "I'm perfectly fine. I didn't drink much at all. Don't worry about me."

"Good to hear. Kasumi, what about you?"

Kasumi lowered her hooded head. "I…might've had a bit more to drink tonight. More than Tali, anyway. I had a lot on my mind. You know, reminiscing, things like that. But I should be okay after a quick nap."

"I'll trust your judgment. Legion?"

Legion responded, "We will provide assistance as necessary. Our programs remain uncompromised."

Shepard stared at our last tech expert, Mordin, sleeping heavily, his limbs spread out like a starfish on the floor.

"Well, that answers that," she settled. "I need to know who else is joining the main team. Liara?"

Liara spoke softer than usual, "I could also do with a nap on the way there…but I promise I will be fine."

"I'll take your word for it. Jack, what about you?"

Jack grumbled, "I'm pretty shitfaced, Shepard… I'd better not go. I'd just end up slowing you down."

"That's fine. It's not your fault. James?"

James had nodded off at some point, curling into himself as he snored.

"…Zaeed?"

Zaeed's body convulsed once, as if dreaming, right as he cursed in his sleep, before settling back down.

Shepard saw that Javik had yet to stir from his own sleep.

Kaidan and Garrus leaned on each other in a corner, the two of them out cold.

Trying not to fume, Shepard asked, "Samara, could you stay behind? Help Dr. Chakwas look after everyone. I think she's going to need a hand."

Samara smiled in her own patience. "Of course, Commander. I will do so."

"That leaves Aria, Miranda, and Liara joining me on the main team. The four of us will stay together at all times. None of you will leave my side for any reason. This is non-negotiable. Do you understand me?"

Shepard's orders held such strong remnants of the past.

What with the potential for drama on our little team, I understood her reasons.

Not just any drama. More like murderous drama. The worst kind—especially at a time like this.

I was the first to say, "Yes, I hear you."

Then Liara obliged: "Very well, Shepard."

And finally Miranda, who went the extra mile by saluting her instead.

"Once we're planetside, our immediate objective is to stop the virus from broadcasting off-world. After we've taken care of that, we'll find the source of the virus and shut it down. Tali, Kasumi, and Legion will stay behind and assist EDI with the Normandy. I don't want any repeats of Virmire, so everyone else—"

Mordin suddenly sprang to his feet. He paraded around the CIC as if onstage at a concert. Then he belted a song at the top of his lungs. That same fucking song I told him not to sing a while back:

"I am the very model of a scientist salarian! I've studied species turian, asari and batarian! I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology), because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)! My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian—I am the very model of a scientist salarian!"

…dead silence.

Just the humming from the ship's equipment. The rest of the team's damned snoring.

Maybe half-sober now, Mordin glanced around like a deer in headlights. Those amphibian's eyes really did him no favors. He cleared his throat, waiting for someone to react. For anyone to break this silence.

Kasumi slowly, very slowly clapped her hands in an awkward, disjointed-sounding applause.

Jack soured in derision, clapping in sarcasm for the hell of it.

Miranda had already turned away with her arms folded, refusing to even be a part of this.

Liara and Tali couldn't react, too thrown to come up with anything. The same for Samara and Legion. Too polite for her own good, Dr. Chakwas pretended she didn't hear anything, still giving out meds to everyone.

Meanwhile, my eyes had glazed over well before Mordin started singing. I just wanted to take a nap already. I'd had more than enough ridiculousness for one night.

Shepard remained stone still.

And everyone else remained asleep.

Mortified by now, Mordin continued onto the lab, retreating from the scene. That wobble in his step spoke enough of his lingering levels of intoxication. I imagined he would fall asleep again, this time over the lab table. Exasperated and exhausted, Shepard returned her focus to me. She helped me stand, getting me to the elevator. She escorted me to my room on the engineering deck. She summoned the last of her patience for this hours-long flight. All for our impromptu mission. A mission so ill-timed and inconvenient that it disturbed me.