Jack and the Cow
I'm bored. So I decide to do a fan fic. I tell myself this won't work out well...I ignore that voice. And thus the magical story of a boy and his cow (and maybe the other characters in harvest moon) is created. Feedback would be appreciated. Read on if you are willing.
Enter Jack, we all know him, we all love him. Jack is like your favorite next door neighbor. Jack is kind. Jack wears hats. You see my point.
Jack just moved in to his grandfather's farm. He's anxious to begin work, but worried about the village excepting him. So therefore Jack engages upon a quest. Not the normal kind of quest involving dragons and XP and such, no Jack's quest is more refined.
Jack's quest is to get a woman. And not just any women! Oh no, Jack must have the one he likes best! He hasn't really met any of them yet though...So forms the beginning of side quest one! To meet the girls!
Jack: Screw the farm-work, stupid weeds ****ing re-grow anyway! TO THE BAT CAVE...or sprite cave...wait they don't have a cave in this one...TO MY HOUSE!
Unfortunately Jack finds no women in his house. He is puzzled. What ever will he do next?!
Chapter I
Ann finished her morning walk and returned to the Inn. It had been awhile since she had seen Cliff around. She was starting to wonder what happened to him. Her father saw her as she started up the stairs to begin the Inn's cleaning.
Doug: Ann, where have you been?!
Ann: Dad why do you sound so alarmed? I was out jogging through the mountains like I do every day! (after day after day after day)
Doug: You mean you haven't heard?!
Ann: Heard what?
Panic creeps into her voice. She can tell by her father's tone that something serious has happened. She had a terrible feeling that this wasn't going to be good news...
Chapter II Doug: Its Jack...Wait hold on who the hell is Jack? We don't know a Jack! That crazy mayor said a boy named Jack was sick.
Back at Jack's farm...
Jack: wooooo too much wineseee fo meee *hic*
Mayor: Jack please get up I havta finish the tour of the village! And please stop throwing up on my shoes.
Jack: No dat's okiee Mista Mayor, I no go passst dat winneeee place anywho. Thattt a village enuff fo mee!
Mayor: Oh snap out of it you drunk! (mayor's heart rate secretly loses 10 points...GASP)
Jack: Ok I'm ready I'm ready let's see this village. *thinking to himself* This might be a good way to meet the local girls...
2 hours later the mayor concludes his tour. Amazing how anyone could talk about such a small village for over two hours...anyway.
Jack: Time to get down to work finally...Chop chop, dig dig, chop chop, dig dig, wow I could do this allllll day! But wait! I should meet the villagers!
So Jack travels off in the direction of the inn ladida.
Chapter III
Jack: hmm I remember this place, the vineyard yay! Maybe there will be some hot drunk chicks...
Jack enters the wine shop and is greeted by duke.
Duke: Hey budday! I'm Duke nice to meet ya! How'd you like a bottle of wine? You drink don't you?
Jack: DO I EVER!!
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: Who What? where's my free booze?
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: You already said that...
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: AHHH SHUT UP KILLER ROBOT *flees to next room*
Manna: Hello you must be Jack, I'm Manna, I work here with my husband Duke. Who's a no good slob...
Jack: Then why did you marr...
Manna: I have a daughter named Aja, she left the village though, I'm afraid that's not a happy thing. So are you out shopping today, would you like some wine?
Jack: ye...
Manna: Our wine is very special you know. Named after my daughter Aja. She was such a lovely girl...
Jack: bu...
Manna: I miss the old days when Aja was around. She was a pretty little thing. If only she were here today to help with the vineyard. So have you seen anyone else in the village? Don't only give gifts to pretty girls, people might start thinking things...
Jack+Manna: Of course no one..AHHH SHE WONT STOP TALKING...would say that about you because you're such a nice boy.
Jack: Kyia!!!! JUDO CHOP! *manna passes out on floor of winery(Manna's heart rate secretly loses 10 points. GASP!)
ck: Crap where's that Duke guy, He'll tell everyone else what happened...
Jack then notices Duke passed out in the corner of the Wine cellar, quite smashed. Jack: OK ok I'll hide the body somewhere..wait what if she's still alive? Oh well I'll just leave her here and hope for the best.
Jack walks over to the Inn whistling a carefree toon, hands in his pockets
Jack to himself: Look carefree that's it, and if trouble comes....LEAP LIKE TIGER!
Jack enters the Inn and is greeted by Doug
Doug: Hi there, what do you think of my daughter?
Jack: WTF I just met her!
Doug:...
Jack: what? hey what's this box thing above my head? it says something...
She's cute----
Seems cheerful
Jack: oh I get it you want me to choose one. Umm she seems cute!
Ann: DAD!!! what are you talking about?!
Ann: anyway hi I'm Ann nice to meet you
Jack: Hi nice to meet you too!
Ann: well see ya around
Jack:...yea.
To Himself: Damn she was cute! why didn't I hit on her? I think she likes me too. Maybe a gift would help.
Jack: ooo I CAN'T RESIST!!!
Jack leaps forward and dives into Ann's overalls. He is happy for one blissful second
Ann: WAAAAAH!!!! (funny face she does when upset) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OUT YOU PERV! (Ann's heart meter goes down 3 points)
Jack: sorry I ah tripped...heh...heh
Ann: YOU MORON! GET OUT
Jack: oh right sorry...
Jack hastily left the Inn.
Jack to himself: That didn't fly too well...maybe I should give them some gifts first next time. And I know where to find those! At the vineyard!
Jack returns to the vineyard...again...duke is passed out in the corner. Manna is tending to a massive neck wound
Jack: Hi...heh...heh
Manna: Oh hello again I don't know what happened I was standing here talking to you and then I fell, it was the oddest thing, I don't remember why.
Jack: CANIHAVESOMEWINE?!
Manna: oh right here you go...That will be 300G
Jack: What's G?
Manna: Our standard form of currency made in 1902...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....you do have enough right?
Jack:...uhhh...
Jack: Kyia!! JUDO CHOP!!(c)
Manna falls unconscious to the floor...again. Jack Hastily grabs the wine and shoves it down his pants. Then he remembers he has a rucksack...but decides to keep it in his pants anyway.
Jack: With booze no one can resist me! That Ann girl seemed a little tomboyish.. I'll head to the supermarket
Jack enters supermarket
Duke: I'll take this Jeff, just put it on my tab. *starts to leave*
Jack: Duke! but you were just in the corner of the vineyard.
Duke: What, you think I should pay?
Jack: WHAT? I never said that what the hell are you talking about killer robot? Ahh DAMMIT it's another one of those boxes.
You should pay---
Do nothing
Jack: You should pay!
Karen enters. Jack is floored. It is love. He knows it. And no, that bump is not just the wine in his pants.
Karen: Duke pay for it! Hi thank you for helping, you must be Jack, I'm Karen. Nice to meet you.
Jack: ..Boo..Boo
Karen: WHAT?!
Jack: I mean I have booze! HERE
Karen: Oh wow thank you so much!
Jack: SCORE IT WORKED!
Karen: yea I'll see you later.
Chapter IV
Jack was about to leave when.
Jack: I..CAN'T..RESIST.UREGE.HEHEHE *foaming at mouth* Pretty!
Jack dives into Karen's pants, and to everyone's amazement...she screams(sarcasm)
Karen: waah what are you doing?!
Jack pokes his head out from inside her pants and stares up at Karen
Jack: Hullo, I really wouldn't think you'd go for black underwear
Karen: *blushes* Jack GET OUT!
Jack: yep yep...I'm going... but not without this bag of curry MUAHAHA!! HEHE come on curry let's split!
Jack escapes from supermarket and runs blindly.
Voice from behind him: Jack wait!
Jack turns around and sees Karen out side of the supermarket.
Jack: oh boy...ok Karen I'm really sorry, Ill never do it again...It's just that I've never gotten along well with women before...except for that one little girl when I was young...
Karen: Jack...It's ok. I actually kind of..well.. enjoyed it...*blushes*
Jack:??!!
Karen reached forward for Jack's hand.
Karen: I'm sorry for making a scene inside but my parents were watching. I like you Jack. I hope you're able to stay in the village.
Karen gently kissed Jack on the cheek...then smiled and blushed. (Karen's heart meter secretly goes up 20 points)
Jack: waaaahhhhhhhhhh...
Karen: oh one more thing, do me a favor and go visit the harvest sprites kay ;) I owe Bold some flour.
Jack: waaaaahhhhh....
Karen flipped her hair behind her and ran back in to the Supermarket.
Jack:...SPOONTASTIC! That was better then the inside of her pants! Well not quite...
Jack ran off to the Harvest Sprite's house. Unfortunately that was not included in the Mayor's tour so he wound up in front of the church.
Jack: hmmm this town has a very nice church, I wonder if I should go inside. heh why not
Pastor Carter: Well hello there. The church has a basement, that's where I sleep.
Jack: AHHHHH!!! CATHOLIC PRIEST! RUN!
Jack fled the church and ran for the woods. He found a small house with an entrance just big enough for him to crawl through
Jack: woah this is pretty ****ing trippy. Just like that crazy book Alice In Wonderland. COOL. WOAH MINI PEOPLE!
Bold: Hello, Budum! We're the Harvest Sprites. Do you have flour for us?
Jack: I do actually, Karen told me to give you this...*hands over box of flour*
Bold: YAAAAAY, budum. Thank you! Please give some to the others too!
Jack: but I don't have anymore...
Bold: THEN YOU CANT PARTICIPATE IN THE SPRING TEA PARTY! GET THE **** OUT!
Jack left.
Jack: bunch of ****ing hippie stoner elves. God I gave them their flour, how much do they want?!
Chapter V
Jack left the sprite's house, turned, and walked to the beach. To his surprise he saw Greg the fisherman!
Greg: I like to fish, you should try it some time. Would you like to fish?
Jack: dammit another one of those boxes
Yes---
No
Jack: sure
Greg: here you go *hands Jack fishing rod*
Jack: COOOLL. Now I can fish! Thank you Greg! Hey can I ask you something? How come you're the only bla...
Just then something hit Jack from behind. And hard.
Jack: oowww WTF was that?
Karen: Heya!
Jack turns over to see Karen sitting on top of him.
Jack:......speechless
Karen: I come to the beach often at night, how bout you?
Jack: ummm I was unaware that it was night
Karen: You silly why do you think it got dark?
Jack: Oh crap! and I didn't do anything on the farm! Well at least I got a free bag of curry! *holds up shiny bag of curry*
Karen: I like the sound of the waves at night. See you later
Jack:....umm right, see ya Karen.
Jack walked back to his farm in a confused daze. When he got home he decided to till the land that he had previously cleared. (see section one, chop chop dig dig)
Jack happily tilled the soil and went to bed.
Chapter VI
Jack woke up in the morning to discover a pair of women's underwear upon his head. There was also a rather large keg of wine, which had been completely drained.
Jack: WTF DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!
Jack quickly takes the underwear of off his head and throws on his farm clothes. He hastily eats a dumpling then heads out the door.
Jack: Dude, where's my horse? Dude I don't know dude, where's my horse? Wait I didn't have one nevermind...
Karen: we'll look who finally decided to wake up
Jack: WHA? where are you?!
Karen: On the roof silly.
Jack to himself: Ok this just doesn't make any sense. Either I'm dreaming this or this is a very twisted acid trip. I have to figure out what happened!
Jack ran back inside. On the floor he noticed a shiny little bag....
Jack: OF COURSE! IT WAS THE CURRY! That wasn't normal curry! It was LSD!
Jack calmed down and eventually his head cleared. He saw that he was sitting on top of the table in his kitchen. There was no longer a keg or any form of underwear. Jack began his day.
He was running low on cash so he decided to plant some crops. He headed of for the Supermarket. He then purchased three bags of turnips and stayed away from the curry. On his way back to the farm he decided it might be a good idea to buy Karen some more wine. Jack entered the Vineyard.
Duke: Hello there Jack, How bout some wine. You do drink don't you?
Jack: YOU WONT TRICK ME THIS TIME KILLER ROBOT! Kyia! JUDO CHOP!!(c)
Duke fell to the ground. Jack noticed that none of his robot wires had been exposed...curious. ANYWAY Jack went in to the next room to find Manna
Manna: Oh it's you out doing some shopping, would you like some wine?
Jack: Yea sure 300G right?
Manna: 500. (the negative 10 heart rate secretly fuels her inner rage raising the price of wine)
Jack:...OK!
Jack purchases the wine and then exits the Vineyard, carefully stepping over an incapacitated Duke.
Jack returned to his farm and planted his turnips. He then noticed a strange man on his farm
Jack: wah who's that man under the tree?!
Shady Man: You moron I've been here all day! You had an event with me when you first left your house!
Jack: so that's the voice I thought was Karen's...or something like that, whatever conveniently ties up plot..
? Man: I've been resting under this tree all damn day because of you! You completely missed the event with Harris you moron!
Jack: event? wha...? Who are you?!
? Man: I'm Won you jack***! I sell seeds! remember?!
Jack: YOU SLIPPED DRUGS INTO MY CURRY IN AN ELABORATE ATTEMPT TO GET ME HOOKED ON CRACK THAT ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE YOU DIRTY SCUM *pant pant*!!
Won:...Sure kid. Anyway I'm off to the Inn. Stop by sometime I have some good merchandise ;)
Jack: Foreign drug dealing scum!
Won leaves for the Inn. Jack noticed that there had been a lack of pants jumping today.. And he hadn't even gone to the vineyard! Oh well at least he had his turnips watered. Jack decided to call it a night. He then remembered something...The Inn turned into a bar!
Jack: TO THE BAR! I wonder if they have call girls...
Jack ran past chicken Lill's and Yodel farm and into the town square. What he saw amazed him. Lying on the ground was a pantless Karen!!(no she was not naked...I'm assuming they wear underwear. Then again Karen's pretty loose...)
Pantless Karen: Jack oh thank god! You've got to help me!
Jack: ah what exactly do you want help with...
Karen: It was horrible, this man came and he was all over me and he took my pants and ran off into the woods when he saw you coming *breaks down into tears*
WHO STOLE KAREN'S PANTS?! Was it...Won? Pastor Carter? Stu?
The 1969 Denver Bronco's? Mephisto?
Jack: Sshhh calm down it's all right now. Here put my overall's on, I wear a bathing suit under em anyway
Karen: ..what? why would you...
Jack: Don't try to talk just take it easy. Let's get you to the Inn
Jack walked into the Inn with Karen in his arms. After a long explanation the villagers were shocked and out for revenge. They knew it had to be someone in the village. No one else had come to the town. Except....
Won: HEY DON'T PICK ON ME BECAUSE IM CHINESE!
Group response: We're picking on you because you're a foreigner you fool! It was you wasn't it!
Won: Honestly I was here the whole time..heh...heh...guys?
Doug: I saw you leave the Inn just a little while ago!
Won: Well yes that was for...business matters...
Doug: And where exactly did you go smart***?!
Won: Ok Ok I was at the sprite's house handing out crack samples!
Jack: HA THE CURRY WAS YOU!
Won: Of course it was me you moron!
Doug: Jack calm down, Won can anyone verify this?
???:We can, budum!
The sprites enter the room apparently quite high
Bold: HEHEHE..YEA HE WAS WID US THE WHOLE BUDUM TIME RIGHT GUYS?!
Sprites: ****in right he was budum!
Jeff: Well then who could it have been?!
Jack: I know let's search the woods since it couldn't have been anyone here!
Doug: Did he just say something intelligent? Good god.
The group split up into search parties. Jack was with Karen and Ann. They were about to give up for the night when they heard a noise in the bushes...
Ann: AHHH JACK HOLD ME!
Karen: NO HOLD ME! *rushes into Jack's arms*
Jack: It was probably just the win...
Out of nowhere a dark figure leaps on top of Jack knocking Karen to the ground.
Jack: AHH WTF WHY DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO ME?!
Jack threw the figure onto the ground and carried it into the light of the square. They all saw it and realized...
It was a monkey. Holding Karen's pants. Mystery solved.
Jack: Silly monkey why would you steal Karen's pants and attack me? HAHAHA oh well let's go to bed guys!
Monkey's thoughts: DAMN IT YOU ****HEAD SHE WAS ALL MINE! I WILL HAVE HER OH YES! MUAHAHA EEEE EEE EEE!
Chapter VII
Jack awoke from his nice dream about Karen. There was something on his head. He was afraid to open his eyes.
Jack: Please god don't let this be another complicated plot twist
Jack slowly opened eyes just a tiny bit. He saw blue corduroy. He knew what they were. The question was the location of the girl that owned the pants. Jack took the pants off of his head and slowly looked around the room. There was no Ann. This seemed promising. He dressed quickly and ate a sandwich. He needed time to think.
Jack: WTF DO I HAVE ANN'S PANTS?!
Jack decided to head to the Inn to confront Ann. He grabbed the pants, stuffed them in his rucksack and left the farm. 10 minutes later...
Doug: Oh hello Jack nice to see you again. Stay as long as you like.
Jack: sure sure buddy now where's your daughter?
Jack ran upstairs and saw Ann in a spare room cleaning.
Jack: WHY DO I HAVE YOUR PANTS?!?!
Ann: Oh no they didn't tell you?
Jack: who wha...?
Ann: The sprites! I gave them some crack to take my pants to your house for washing since you have a stream. You see they get kind of dirty after wearing them every day.
Jack: My god that's actually a rational explanation. You pants shall be washed and returned shortly!
Jack then notices something. He is talking to Ann and holding her pants...GOOD GOD SHE'S NOT WEARING PANTS
Jack fled. Ann without pants was a bit too much for him right now. He went outside and collected his thoughts.
Jack: Need more booze for Karen! I'll give her a gift everyday until she likes me yea! Too bad I can't make all the villagers like me.
Jack's standing with villagers-
Mayor:-10
Manna:-10
Duke: neutral(he's a robot remember)
Karen:+14
Doug:+2(for the Inn incident)
Ann:+6
Jeff:+7(for helping Karen)
everyone else hasn't met Jack yet
Jack skipped off to the Inn unaware of the volatile social issues surrounding him. Ignorance is bliss
Jack enters Vineyard
Duke: Hey how bout a glass of wine? You drink don't you?
Jack: DAMN YOU KILLER ROBOT! JUDO CHOP!!©
Duke: Darn Manna checks.*pop* fizzle Robot Duke falls dead on the ground
Jack: HI MANNA I NEED WINE
Manna:300G
Jack: Hey wasn't it 500 last time?
Manna: Yes it was but I decided after you found Karen that you couldn't be that bad of a guy so I decided to forgive you and lower the price of my wine down again so that I wouldn't be overcharging you. Aja liked wine so much it's a shame she left the village...
Jack: JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOZE! *hands over money*(he got it from mountain foraging every day ok?!)
Manna: Here you are.
Jack took the wine and was about to leave when he saw Karen enter.
Jack: Karen! Hi!
Karen: YAY I didn't expect to find you here! Now you can drink away your troubles with me!
Jack: Actually I really don't have that many troubles.
Karen: When I drink I'm able to forget all of my woes and leave my life behind.
Jack: thank you for that in depth character information.have some wine gives Karen wine
Karen: Why thank you Jack you're so kind! (heart rate at +19)
Jack: Hey your heart turned blue!
Karen: Oh look at that it did. Here you can have my pants now.
Jack: WHA?!??!
Karen: Oh it's village tradition. When a girl likes you a lot she gives you an article of clothing.
Jack: But it's just blue! shouldn't you be giving me your pants when it's like pink?
Karen: oh shut up and take the pants silly.
Jack and Karen sit on the stoop of the vineyard drinking...Yes Karen still does not have pants on. She really is quite a troubled character....Rick walks by quite shocked.
Jack: well today was fun but I have to go water my turnips so I can get some money. See ya around. And thanks for the pants.
Karen Jack wait...
Karen leaned in to kiss Jack on the side of the cheek again. Jack smiled and hugged Karen before he left. Then he ran off to the farm.
Jack: Hooray turnips! You will be finished growing tomorrow! And then I will sell you or eat you!(Talking to plants is a good idea) MUAHAHAHA
Jack watered all of his turnips and then decided to pick some flowers in the mountains and meet the other village girls. He grabbed as many pretty yellow ones as he could carry and then ran past got's house. He saw the big shiny chicken sign for chicken Lill's and went in.(ok yes technically there should be the fight between Rick and Popuri but that's just boring)
Jack: WOW THERE'RE TWO GIRLS IN ONE HOUSE! COOL!
Lilia: Hello I'm Rick and Popuri's mother. I haven't seen you around before. You must be Jack. My husband isn't here. He's looking for a cure for my sickness but I'm afraid that's not a happy thing(Ok someone tell me why she says it's not a happy thing. Who would think that's happy?!)
Jack: Woah you're their mother? Cool. MILF
Popuri: Hello I'm Popuri. I work here with my mother and brother. It's nice to meet you.
Jack: here have a pretty flower *hands Popuri flower*
Popuri: Oh thank you! hehe
Jack: Oh screw it I can't break tradition. *Jumps into popuri's dress*
Popuri: GYAIH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!
Rick pulls Jack from under Popuri's dress.
Rick: Hey what do you think you're doing?!
Jack: Ahh I....shifty eyed glance fell. Yea that's it.
Rick: OK that makes sense.
Popuri: Oh yea well that's ok.(-dumb blonde(her hair is dyed)
Jack: Yea well nice to meet all of you. I'll be going now heh.see ya
Jack backed out the door and ran off into the night.
Jack: TO THE BAR AGAIN!
Chapter VIII
Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Jack Didn't like the sounds he heard coming from the bushes. Wait what sounds? It was quiet...Anyway. Jack had a feeling that something was off. Something was not quite right in this peaceful little village. Something was amok. And then he saw it. A dark shadow looming in the distance by the entrance to Yodel farm. It was coming closer. And then Jack saw it was Ann.
Ann: Hi Jack! I came to tell you that the Inn is having a special tonight.
Jack: free booze?! better yet free girls?!
Ann: Not quite. It's a 2 for one deal...
And then it pounced.
The Monkey landed squarely upon Ann's shoulders, gave a hoot of rage, shook it's monkey fists, And peed directly on top of Ann's head.
Ann: GYAAAHHH!!!!! WHAT IS THIS THING JACK?! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Jack took out his handy ax and slashed at the monkey perched on Ann's head in a pool of it's own urine. The monkey leaped from her head into the bushes, lost to the night.
Jack: It's ok it's gone now, it was only a monkey.
Ann: BUT HE PEED ON ME!!!!
Jack: Let's go to the Inn and wash off your hair.
Jack walked with Ann to the Inn. Everyone stared while the two walked Inn. Jack laughed and said...
Jack: Haha it's ok everyone Ann just fell in the stream.
group response: *Chuckle* *chuckle* ah haha
Ann whispering: Thanks Jack
Jack walked with Ann back into her bedroom where she washed off her hair. After it had dried Ann came out and went with Jack back into the Inn. Jack saw Karen over at the bar quite drunk but he didn't want to leave Ann's side yet. It would seem rude. Jack and Ann talked for hours(no time passed outside. Magic) Jack got quite drunk on free wine that Ann gave him. After a last farewell drink Jack walked outside with Ann.
Ann: Jack thank you for helping me tonight...I...I want you to know how much I appreciate it. Ann wrapped her arms around Jack's waist and kissed him.
Jack: Waahhhh...
Ann smiled and walked back inside.
Jack turned and saw that someone had been watching.
Jack: Gyah! Karen, Stu, May, MONKEY!!
Jack dives at the monkey who was standing by a lamp post. The monkey climbs up the lamp, stands at the top, hoots, and shakes his monkey fists.
Jack: GET BACK HE MIGHT PEE AT ANY MOMENT!
Karen: woooo *falls over* cow?
Stu and May: It's a monkey! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...hahhaha...ha *both fall over*
Jack: What is wrong with you people?!
Jack notices that Karen has a wine bottle in her hand. That explains her, but what about Stu and May?! He looks closely at both of them and sees that each is holding a bag of curry!
Jack: DAMN YOU DRUG DEALING CHINA MAN(no offence meant to other creeds, races, religions, etc in this story, I just happen to think that Won sells drugs.)
Jack to Karen: Karen are you alright...do you remember what you just saw?
Karen: Cow? I dwink and den I see cow...hehehe
So Karen was no longer a problem. But Stu and May? Jack picked up both children and returned them to their proper homes assuring their families that they would be better in the morning. He returned to the outside of the Inn and carefully picked Karen up and carried her to the supermarket. In the distance he saw a figure approach. Jack thought this could look bad so he set Karen down in the bushes and waited for the person to pass. IT WAS KILLER ROBOT DUKE!
Suddenly the monkey leapt from a bush, landed on Duke, did his monkey routine, and deposited urine on Duke's head.
Duke: GYAH *pop* *fizzle* *sparks shoot from his head*
Robot Duke falls onto the ground electrifying the monkey.
Jack: that was pretty damn cool.
He picked Karen up and carried her to the Supermarket's doorstep. He heard a noise behind him.
Jack turned. He heard the air whistle past his ears as the monkey leaped forward, fangs bared. Jack quickly pulled out his sickle and went Neo style like in the matrix(ya know when he bends over backwards and the bullets go over him ya ya). The monkey passed over Jack and slammed straight into the door to the Supermarket. It quickly back flipped onto its feet and sprung at Jack again. Jack dodged to the left, doing a dive and holding his sickle out towards the monkey at the same time. The monkey was sliced clean in half by the sickle. Unfortunately things can't be sliced in Harvest Moon world and the monkey just yelped and ran for the bushes shaking his monkey fists.
Jack stood and straightened his invisible tie. All in a days work. Jack heard Sasha and Jeff coming to the door so he quickly ran down the path back to his house to get some sleep.
Jack woke at his usual time, ate an egg, and then headed out the door. He was greeted by a cut scene.
Barley and May walk onto the farm.
Barley: Jack, May is bored, can she stay on your farm?
Jack: ah sure... Hey wait it's another one of those damn boxes!
Send her to Ellen's----
Tell her to go to the church
Jack: NO STAY AWAY FROM THAT CHURCH FREAK! Go to Ellen's!
Jack May and Barley walk over to Ellen's where they find Stu also bored.
Ellen: I can't watch these children, take them to Pastor Carter.
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THERE! NOT THE CHILDREN! OH GOD NO HE'LL MOLEST THEM!
The inevitable cut scene happened. Pastor Carter hastily agreed to take the children and ushered them into the church. As he did he glanced over his shoulder at Jack. There was menace in that look. Jack was sure.
Jack returned to the farm and collected his turnips. YAY TURNIPS!
Jack: Now I can make lots of money and buy lots of wine! YAY
Jack smiled and went about his work for the day
Chapter XIV
Jack headed for the vineyard. No more Killer robot Duke. Jack was happy. Until he saw...KILLER ROBOT DUKE!
Duke: How bout some wine, you drink don't ya?
Jack: But you were electrocuted!
Duke: Darn Manna checks the number of bottles...
Jack: KYIA!! JUDO CHOP!(c)
Duke fell to the floor....again. Some things just defy explanation.
Jack went in to buy some wine from Manna. We will skip that conversation seeing as it is needlessly long and boring.
After the vineyard Jack thought he might go check on Ann at the Inn. As he walked in he heard Doug call over to him.
Doug: Hi Jack. I believe Ann's at the hot spring with the other girls, you can go find her there.
Jack: Oh thanks....Wait how did you know I wanted Ann?
Doug: Oh come on like you're gonna come in to talk to me or Harris. HAHAHA
Jack headed off to the hot spring. As he started up the steps he heard loud splashes and giggles. He quietly walked up the last few steps, not wanting to scare the girls. Jack put his head against the boards and peeked through into the hot spring. GYAH THEY WERE ALL NAKED! ALL OF THEM!
Karen: I love the trip to the hot spring it's the only time I can get my shirt clean.
Ann: And it feels so nice and warm in the fall! hehe
Popuri: Oh Mary you missed a spot on your back here. *scrubs Mary's back*
Elli: Oh wow the mountain air smells so nice.
Jack . . .Couldn't . . .Breath. . .
AND THEN THE MONKEY LEAPED! Out from the branches and straight on to Jack's head sending him crashing through the boards into the hot spring.
Jack: GYAH!!!!!!! OWWWWW!
Girls: WAAAAAHHHHHHH WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!?!
ELLI: who the **** is that?!
Ann: oh you haven't met Jack? He's quite nice.
Karen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Jack: I uhhh....ummm...
Jack: Uh look I was defending you girls from this monkey that was attempting to steal all your clothes! If it wasn't for me, who knows what this monkey would have done! *holds up wet dripping monkey by the neck* It was a terrible fight! I chased him all the way from the Inn! He tore part of my arm out! And look at him now! He's dead!
Elli: No he isn't
Jack: ****! *holds wet monkey's head underwater* WHY...*gasp*...WONT...*pant*....YOU..*scream*...STOP... *GROWL*...LIVING! Jack pulled the monkey out of the water and stared at it. He couldn't tell for sure maybe he better be safe...
The monkeys eyes twitched open. It gave a hoot of rage and then clawed it's way out of Jack's hands and made it's way into the woods shaking its angry little monkey fists.
Jack: NO NOT AGAIN!
Girls: Oh Jack you were so brave! Thank you
Karen kissed Jack on the cheek. not to be outdone, Ann kissed Jack on the other cheek. Popuri smiled and kissed Jack's forehead. Elli smiled and grabbed Jack's ***. Ok that didn't really happen. Elli and Mary stood at a distance puzzled.
Jack: You know you guys still aren't wearing any clothing.
Girls: GYAH!!!!! *general scramble for clothes/towels*
Ann: Jack get out!
Jack: Ah yea sorry.
Jack stood as water dripped off his rather soggy clothes. He knew what he had to do! After the monkey! Jack raced off following the monkey's path through the trees. Using his sickle he cut a path through the undergrowth following the monkey's footprints. Finally a clearing emerged. Jack was in the town. In the Vineyard to be precise. Standing facing each other, neither making a sound was KILLER ROBOT DUKE!! AND THE MONKEY!!!
Chapter XV
Jack's jaw dropped. The monkey and robot Duke were squared, facing each other. They both knelt down into a fighting stance. The monkey, a master of Jeet Kun Do(no clue how to spell) and duke, well duke just kinda had sharp robot weapons. They stood perfectly motionless.
AND THEN THE MONKEY POUNCED! It aimed a high-flying kick straight at robot Duke's head. Duke back flipped as the monkey sailed over him and slashed at it with his sharp robot sword/arm. The monkey twisted in mid air to avoid the blow and landed back on the ground on his feet. The monkey gave what appeared to be a malicious grin, shook his monkey fists, and made cool karate monkey sounds. Duke kind of stood there. Being a robot he wasn't much for taunting the opponent. Especially a monkey...This time Duke made the first move. He lunged, sword/arm extended straight at the monkey's throat. The monkey jumped high into the air. Duke had already planned for this. He raised his blade straight up changing it from a lunge to a slash. The monkey just barely avoided a quick and sudden impalement. As he landed back on the ground a wound suddenly opened from his right arm. The monkey growled and attacked again. He threw a barrage of kicks to every level of Duke's body, aiming for all the pressure points. Sadly robots do not have pressure points. However, the kicks did massive damage to Duke's inner circuitry. The medal frame of robot Duke radiated electricity. The whole robot took one last shuddery step forward and then its head exploded.
Victor-MONKEY
Jack finally withdrew from the shadows and faced the monkey. He drew his scythe and prepared for a fight to the death. Suddenly Manna ran towards robot Duke. She cried and ran blindly to his side. Along her way she happened to step on a very small unnoticeable monkey. The monkey was crushed to death instantly. Jack saw his work was done. Manna cried out to him.
Manna: WHY JACK WHY?!?! Why did he have to go?
Jack: umm he was a robot...Who made him anyway?
Manna: I did of course!
Jack: ummm....why?
Manna: Well who else would listen to my ceaseless yapping? My only companion...gone *sob* *sob*
Jack: Why don't you errr..build another one?
Manna:. . . OK!
Jack left the carnage of the battlefield and headed to the bar. Along the way he saw Karen. He explained everything to her. She leapt into his arms.
Karen: oh Jack you were so brave. Thank you for protecting me.
Karen smiled up at Jack and kissed him lightly on the lips.
Jack: GYAHAHH!
Karen: Oh are you ever going to get used to being kissed?! *sigh* fine I'll just go back to Rick.
Jack: bu...bu..but!
Karen: ;)
Jack had had an eventful day. It was time to head home.
Chapter XVI
Manna began the construction of another robot Duke. Jack was happy. He had his farm running smoothly, with 5 whole plots of cabbage, and he was getting along pretty well with the girls. Well most of them anyway. He was kind of indifferent to Elli and Mary. *funny fact* I run my farm and talk to the other villagers just like Jack does in this story. Somehow only talking to Elli and Mary on festival days I had a blue heart with them by winter which I plan on keeping that way because of the chocolate. All the other girls are pink. MUAHAHA. Right now back to the story...Jack hadn't had to deal with Killer robot Duke or the monkey for quite some time. He wasn't even sure where the monkey was. It had managed to run away after getting trampled. Jack's only worry was the upcoming cooking festival. He didn't have much of a kitchen. About the only thing he could make was spa boiled eggs. He decided to enter a spa boiled egg regardless. The day of the festival finally came. Jack grabbed his spa boiled egg and ran for the square. He was greeted by the mayor.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out, waited a second, then ran back in.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out again. He was getting a little annoyed. He waited another second and ran back in.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out.
Jack: WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THAT?! GASP!! HE'S A KILLER ROBOT TOO! KILLER ROBOT MAYOR! THE PERFECT DISGUISE! But what should I do..I can't Judo chop him now and I can't during the festival...too many people around. I will no doubt think of something clever eventually...Now to the festival!
Jack ran in. He talked to everyone including the gourmet judge and the mayor. he entered his spa boiled egg and waited. Jack saw Karen and Ann had entered as well. Ann had a nice rice omelet while Karen had...A burned pile of crap? The villagers awaited the gourmet's reaction...
Fat Humpty Dumpty like guy: And this years winner is...
SUDDENLY FROM THE TREES SPRANG...THE MONKEY! He landed on the main judging table. He was wearing a black mask and black cape. He gave a cruel monkey laugh as he knocked each dish off of the table.
Jack: Everybody get down! I'll take care of this scum!(how cool did that sound?!)
Jack drew his sickle and faced the monkey
Jack: Don't make me use this.
The monkey shook his monkey fists and sprung at Jack's throat.
As the monkey rushed towards him, ready to gnaw off most of Jack's extremities, Jack leaped for safety. He landed perfectly. Right where he'd planned. In Karen's pants.
Karen: GYAAAAH NOT AGAIN!
Jack: shhh the monkey will see me be quiet!
Karen: Jack why did you jump in my pants of all places?
Jack: It was an accident. Now be quiet or the monkey will eat you too
The monkey wandered in and out of the judging tables, searching for Jack. As he passed by Karen Jack jumped out from his hiding spot and buried the hilt of his sickle in the monkey's furry little tummy. The monkey made a big "OOOOOFFFFFf" noise and fell breathless to the ground.
Monkey: OOOOO EEEEE EEEE EEEEE! *angry hoots*
translation-you dirty bastard. That was a cheap shot
Jack: Ha that's right monkey, hoot all you want, I have won, fair and square.
Apparently the monkey did not think so. He picked up a dish off of the table and flung it at Jack. It was Karen's burned pile of crap.
Jack: NO NOT THE CRAP!
Jack ducked and narrowly avoided what would have been the first burned pile of crap related death ever.(this excludes Michael Jackson's career)Jack warily took a step towards the monkey. The monkey picked up another dish and threw it at Jack. Jack pulled out his sickle and sliced the dish in half. Both parts flew past his head and crashed against the wall.
Jack: You die now monkey.
Monkey: EEEEEE EEEEEE OOOOO!
translation-I like eating my own poo.(He's a monkey he's not that smart ok?)
Jack threw his sickle boomerang style. It hit the monkey square in the chest. Unfortunately it was not the pointy part. The monkey was knocked back into the trees. Jack's sickle returned to him and the villagers cheered wildly. Ann, Karen, and Popuri came over to hug Jack. Kano made himself useful for once and took a picture. The village not only celebrated the cooking festival that day, but also the fight to save the food. (you see the monkey's plan was to take the food....I just forgot to add that in to the story. Pretend like I did)
Story to be continued.
I'm bored. So I decide to do a fan fic. I tell myself this won't work out well...I ignore that voice. And thus the magical story of a boy and his cow (and maybe the other characters in harvest moon) is created. Feedback would be appreciated. Read on if you are willing.
Enter Jack, we all know him, we all love him. Jack is like your favorite next door neighbor. Jack is kind. Jack wears hats. You see my point.
Jack just moved in to his grandfather's farm. He's anxious to begin work, but worried about the village excepting him. So therefore Jack engages upon a quest. Not the normal kind of quest involving dragons and XP and such, no Jack's quest is more refined.
Jack's quest is to get a woman. And not just any women! Oh no, Jack must have the one he likes best! He hasn't really met any of them yet though...So forms the beginning of side quest one! To meet the girls!
Jack: Screw the farm-work, stupid weeds ****ing re-grow anyway! TO THE BAT CAVE...or sprite cave...wait they don't have a cave in this one...TO MY HOUSE!
Unfortunately Jack finds no women in his house. He is puzzled. What ever will he do next?!
Chapter I
Ann finished her morning walk and returned to the Inn. It had been awhile since she had seen Cliff around. She was starting to wonder what happened to him. Her father saw her as she started up the stairs to begin the Inn's cleaning.
Doug: Ann, where have you been?!
Ann: Dad why do you sound so alarmed? I was out jogging through the mountains like I do every day! (after day after day after day)
Doug: You mean you haven't heard?!
Ann: Heard what?
Panic creeps into her voice. She can tell by her father's tone that something serious has happened. She had a terrible feeling that this wasn't going to be good news...
Chapter II Doug: Its Jack...Wait hold on who the hell is Jack? We don't know a Jack! That crazy mayor said a boy named Jack was sick.
Back at Jack's farm...
Jack: wooooo too much wineseee fo meee *hic*
Mayor: Jack please get up I havta finish the tour of the village! And please stop throwing up on my shoes.
Jack: No dat's okiee Mista Mayor, I no go passst dat winneeee place anywho. Thattt a village enuff fo mee!
Mayor: Oh snap out of it you drunk! (mayor's heart rate secretly loses 10 points...GASP)
Jack: Ok I'm ready I'm ready let's see this village. *thinking to himself* This might be a good way to meet the local girls...
2 hours later the mayor concludes his tour. Amazing how anyone could talk about such a small village for over two hours...anyway.
Jack: Time to get down to work finally...Chop chop, dig dig, chop chop, dig dig, wow I could do this allllll day! But wait! I should meet the villagers!
So Jack travels off in the direction of the inn ladida.
Chapter III
Jack: hmm I remember this place, the vineyard yay! Maybe there will be some hot drunk chicks...
Jack enters the wine shop and is greeted by duke.
Duke: Hey budday! I'm Duke nice to meet ya! How'd you like a bottle of wine? You drink don't you?
Jack: DO I EVER!!
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: Who What? where's my free booze?
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: You already said that...
Duke: Drat Manna checks the number of bottles everyday...
Jack: AHHH SHUT UP KILLER ROBOT *flees to next room*
Manna: Hello you must be Jack, I'm Manna, I work here with my husband Duke. Who's a no good slob...
Jack: Then why did you marr...
Manna: I have a daughter named Aja, she left the village though, I'm afraid that's not a happy thing. So are you out shopping today, would you like some wine?
Jack: ye...
Manna: Our wine is very special you know. Named after my daughter Aja. She was such a lovely girl...
Jack: bu...
Manna: I miss the old days when Aja was around. She was a pretty little thing. If only she were here today to help with the vineyard. So have you seen anyone else in the village? Don't only give gifts to pretty girls, people might start thinking things...
Jack+Manna: Of course no one..AHHH SHE WONT STOP TALKING...would say that about you because you're such a nice boy.
Jack: Kyia!!!! JUDO CHOP! *manna passes out on floor of winery(Manna's heart rate secretly loses 10 points. GASP!)
ck: Crap where's that Duke guy, He'll tell everyone else what happened...
Jack then notices Duke passed out in the corner of the Wine cellar, quite smashed. Jack: OK ok I'll hide the body somewhere..wait what if she's still alive? Oh well I'll just leave her here and hope for the best.
Jack walks over to the Inn whistling a carefree toon, hands in his pockets
Jack to himself: Look carefree that's it, and if trouble comes....LEAP LIKE TIGER!
Jack enters the Inn and is greeted by Doug
Doug: Hi there, what do you think of my daughter?
Jack: WTF I just met her!
Doug:...
Jack: what? hey what's this box thing above my head? it says something...
She's cute----
Seems cheerful
Jack: oh I get it you want me to choose one. Umm she seems cute!
Ann: DAD!!! what are you talking about?!
Ann: anyway hi I'm Ann nice to meet you
Jack: Hi nice to meet you too!
Ann: well see ya around
Jack:...yea.
To Himself: Damn she was cute! why didn't I hit on her? I think she likes me too. Maybe a gift would help.
Jack: ooo I CAN'T RESIST!!!
Jack leaps forward and dives into Ann's overalls. He is happy for one blissful second
Ann: WAAAAAH!!!! (funny face she does when upset) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OUT YOU PERV! (Ann's heart meter goes down 3 points)
Jack: sorry I ah tripped...heh...heh
Ann: YOU MORON! GET OUT
Jack: oh right sorry...
Jack hastily left the Inn.
Jack to himself: That didn't fly too well...maybe I should give them some gifts first next time. And I know where to find those! At the vineyard!
Jack returns to the vineyard...again...duke is passed out in the corner. Manna is tending to a massive neck wound
Jack: Hi...heh...heh
Manna: Oh hello again I don't know what happened I was standing here talking to you and then I fell, it was the oddest thing, I don't remember why.
Jack: CANIHAVESOMEWINE?!
Manna: oh right here you go...That will be 300G
Jack: What's G?
Manna: Our standard form of currency made in 1902...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....you do have enough right?
Jack:...uhhh...
Jack: Kyia!! JUDO CHOP!!(c)
Manna falls unconscious to the floor...again. Jack Hastily grabs the wine and shoves it down his pants. Then he remembers he has a rucksack...but decides to keep it in his pants anyway.
Jack: With booze no one can resist me! That Ann girl seemed a little tomboyish.. I'll head to the supermarket
Jack enters supermarket
Duke: I'll take this Jeff, just put it on my tab. *starts to leave*
Jack: Duke! but you were just in the corner of the vineyard.
Duke: What, you think I should pay?
Jack: WHAT? I never said that what the hell are you talking about killer robot? Ahh DAMMIT it's another one of those boxes.
You should pay---
Do nothing
Jack: You should pay!
Karen enters. Jack is floored. It is love. He knows it. And no, that bump is not just the wine in his pants.
Karen: Duke pay for it! Hi thank you for helping, you must be Jack, I'm Karen. Nice to meet you.
Jack: ..Boo..Boo
Karen: WHAT?!
Jack: I mean I have booze! HERE
Karen: Oh wow thank you so much!
Jack: SCORE IT WORKED!
Karen: yea I'll see you later.
Chapter IV
Jack was about to leave when.
Jack: I..CAN'T..RESIST.UREGE.HEHEHE *foaming at mouth* Pretty!
Jack dives into Karen's pants, and to everyone's amazement...she screams(sarcasm)
Karen: waah what are you doing?!
Jack pokes his head out from inside her pants and stares up at Karen
Jack: Hullo, I really wouldn't think you'd go for black underwear
Karen: *blushes* Jack GET OUT!
Jack: yep yep...I'm going... but not without this bag of curry MUAHAHA!! HEHE come on curry let's split!
Jack escapes from supermarket and runs blindly.
Voice from behind him: Jack wait!
Jack turns around and sees Karen out side of the supermarket.
Jack: oh boy...ok Karen I'm really sorry, Ill never do it again...It's just that I've never gotten along well with women before...except for that one little girl when I was young...
Karen: Jack...It's ok. I actually kind of..well.. enjoyed it...*blushes*
Jack:??!!
Karen reached forward for Jack's hand.
Karen: I'm sorry for making a scene inside but my parents were watching. I like you Jack. I hope you're able to stay in the village.
Karen gently kissed Jack on the cheek...then smiled and blushed. (Karen's heart meter secretly goes up 20 points)
Jack: waaaahhhhhhhhhh...
Karen: oh one more thing, do me a favor and go visit the harvest sprites kay ;) I owe Bold some flour.
Jack: waaaaahhhhh....
Karen flipped her hair behind her and ran back in to the Supermarket.
Jack:...SPOONTASTIC! That was better then the inside of her pants! Well not quite...
Jack ran off to the Harvest Sprite's house. Unfortunately that was not included in the Mayor's tour so he wound up in front of the church.
Jack: hmmm this town has a very nice church, I wonder if I should go inside. heh why not
Pastor Carter: Well hello there. The church has a basement, that's where I sleep.
Jack: AHHHHH!!! CATHOLIC PRIEST! RUN!
Jack fled the church and ran for the woods. He found a small house with an entrance just big enough for him to crawl through
Jack: woah this is pretty ****ing trippy. Just like that crazy book Alice In Wonderland. COOL. WOAH MINI PEOPLE!
Bold: Hello, Budum! We're the Harvest Sprites. Do you have flour for us?
Jack: I do actually, Karen told me to give you this...*hands over box of flour*
Bold: YAAAAAY, budum. Thank you! Please give some to the others too!
Jack: but I don't have anymore...
Bold: THEN YOU CANT PARTICIPATE IN THE SPRING TEA PARTY! GET THE **** OUT!
Jack left.
Jack: bunch of ****ing hippie stoner elves. God I gave them their flour, how much do they want?!
Chapter V
Jack left the sprite's house, turned, and walked to the beach. To his surprise he saw Greg the fisherman!
Greg: I like to fish, you should try it some time. Would you like to fish?
Jack: dammit another one of those boxes
Yes---
No
Jack: sure
Greg: here you go *hands Jack fishing rod*
Jack: COOOLL. Now I can fish! Thank you Greg! Hey can I ask you something? How come you're the only bla...
Just then something hit Jack from behind. And hard.
Jack: oowww WTF was that?
Karen: Heya!
Jack turns over to see Karen sitting on top of him.
Jack:......speechless
Karen: I come to the beach often at night, how bout you?
Jack: ummm I was unaware that it was night
Karen: You silly why do you think it got dark?
Jack: Oh crap! and I didn't do anything on the farm! Well at least I got a free bag of curry! *holds up shiny bag of curry*
Karen: I like the sound of the waves at night. See you later
Jack:....umm right, see ya Karen.
Jack walked back to his farm in a confused daze. When he got home he decided to till the land that he had previously cleared. (see section one, chop chop dig dig)
Jack happily tilled the soil and went to bed.
Chapter VI
Jack woke up in the morning to discover a pair of women's underwear upon his head. There was also a rather large keg of wine, which had been completely drained.
Jack: WTF DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!
Jack quickly takes the underwear of off his head and throws on his farm clothes. He hastily eats a dumpling then heads out the door.
Jack: Dude, where's my horse? Dude I don't know dude, where's my horse? Wait I didn't have one nevermind...
Karen: we'll look who finally decided to wake up
Jack: WHA? where are you?!
Karen: On the roof silly.
Jack to himself: Ok this just doesn't make any sense. Either I'm dreaming this or this is a very twisted acid trip. I have to figure out what happened!
Jack ran back inside. On the floor he noticed a shiny little bag....
Jack: OF COURSE! IT WAS THE CURRY! That wasn't normal curry! It was LSD!
Jack calmed down and eventually his head cleared. He saw that he was sitting on top of the table in his kitchen. There was no longer a keg or any form of underwear. Jack began his day.
He was running low on cash so he decided to plant some crops. He headed of for the Supermarket. He then purchased three bags of turnips and stayed away from the curry. On his way back to the farm he decided it might be a good idea to buy Karen some more wine. Jack entered the Vineyard.
Duke: Hello there Jack, How bout some wine. You do drink don't you?
Jack: YOU WONT TRICK ME THIS TIME KILLER ROBOT! Kyia! JUDO CHOP!!(c)
Duke fell to the ground. Jack noticed that none of his robot wires had been exposed...curious. ANYWAY Jack went in to the next room to find Manna
Manna: Oh it's you out doing some shopping, would you like some wine?
Jack: Yea sure 300G right?
Manna: 500. (the negative 10 heart rate secretly fuels her inner rage raising the price of wine)
Jack:...OK!
Jack purchases the wine and then exits the Vineyard, carefully stepping over an incapacitated Duke.
Jack returned to his farm and planted his turnips. He then noticed a strange man on his farm
Jack: wah who's that man under the tree?!
Shady Man: You moron I've been here all day! You had an event with me when you first left your house!
Jack: so that's the voice I thought was Karen's...or something like that, whatever conveniently ties up plot..
? Man: I've been resting under this tree all damn day because of you! You completely missed the event with Harris you moron!
Jack: event? wha...? Who are you?!
? Man: I'm Won you jack***! I sell seeds! remember?!
Jack: YOU SLIPPED DRUGS INTO MY CURRY IN AN ELABORATE ATTEMPT TO GET ME HOOKED ON CRACK THAT ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE YOU DIRTY SCUM *pant pant*!!
Won:...Sure kid. Anyway I'm off to the Inn. Stop by sometime I have some good merchandise ;)
Jack: Foreign drug dealing scum!
Won leaves for the Inn. Jack noticed that there had been a lack of pants jumping today.. And he hadn't even gone to the vineyard! Oh well at least he had his turnips watered. Jack decided to call it a night. He then remembered something...The Inn turned into a bar!
Jack: TO THE BAR! I wonder if they have call girls...
Jack ran past chicken Lill's and Yodel farm and into the town square. What he saw amazed him. Lying on the ground was a pantless Karen!!(no she was not naked...I'm assuming they wear underwear. Then again Karen's pretty loose...)
Pantless Karen: Jack oh thank god! You've got to help me!
Jack: ah what exactly do you want help with...
Karen: It was horrible, this man came and he was all over me and he took my pants and ran off into the woods when he saw you coming *breaks down into tears*
WHO STOLE KAREN'S PANTS?! Was it...Won? Pastor Carter? Stu?
The 1969 Denver Bronco's? Mephisto?
Jack: Sshhh calm down it's all right now. Here put my overall's on, I wear a bathing suit under em anyway
Karen: ..what? why would you...
Jack: Don't try to talk just take it easy. Let's get you to the Inn
Jack walked into the Inn with Karen in his arms. After a long explanation the villagers were shocked and out for revenge. They knew it had to be someone in the village. No one else had come to the town. Except....
Won: HEY DON'T PICK ON ME BECAUSE IM CHINESE!
Group response: We're picking on you because you're a foreigner you fool! It was you wasn't it!
Won: Honestly I was here the whole time..heh...heh...guys?
Doug: I saw you leave the Inn just a little while ago!
Won: Well yes that was for...business matters...
Doug: And where exactly did you go smart***?!
Won: Ok Ok I was at the sprite's house handing out crack samples!
Jack: HA THE CURRY WAS YOU!
Won: Of course it was me you moron!
Doug: Jack calm down, Won can anyone verify this?
???:We can, budum!
The sprites enter the room apparently quite high
Bold: HEHEHE..YEA HE WAS WID US THE WHOLE BUDUM TIME RIGHT GUYS?!
Sprites: ****in right he was budum!
Jeff: Well then who could it have been?!
Jack: I know let's search the woods since it couldn't have been anyone here!
Doug: Did he just say something intelligent? Good god.
The group split up into search parties. Jack was with Karen and Ann. They were about to give up for the night when they heard a noise in the bushes...
Ann: AHHH JACK HOLD ME!
Karen: NO HOLD ME! *rushes into Jack's arms*
Jack: It was probably just the win...
Out of nowhere a dark figure leaps on top of Jack knocking Karen to the ground.
Jack: AHH WTF WHY DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO ME?!
Jack threw the figure onto the ground and carried it into the light of the square. They all saw it and realized...
It was a monkey. Holding Karen's pants. Mystery solved.
Jack: Silly monkey why would you steal Karen's pants and attack me? HAHAHA oh well let's go to bed guys!
Monkey's thoughts: DAMN IT YOU ****HEAD SHE WAS ALL MINE! I WILL HAVE HER OH YES! MUAHAHA EEEE EEE EEE!
Chapter VII
Jack awoke from his nice dream about Karen. There was something on his head. He was afraid to open his eyes.
Jack: Please god don't let this be another complicated plot twist
Jack slowly opened eyes just a tiny bit. He saw blue corduroy. He knew what they were. The question was the location of the girl that owned the pants. Jack took the pants off of his head and slowly looked around the room. There was no Ann. This seemed promising. He dressed quickly and ate a sandwich. He needed time to think.
Jack: WTF DO I HAVE ANN'S PANTS?!
Jack decided to head to the Inn to confront Ann. He grabbed the pants, stuffed them in his rucksack and left the farm. 10 minutes later...
Doug: Oh hello Jack nice to see you again. Stay as long as you like.
Jack: sure sure buddy now where's your daughter?
Jack ran upstairs and saw Ann in a spare room cleaning.
Jack: WHY DO I HAVE YOUR PANTS?!?!
Ann: Oh no they didn't tell you?
Jack: who wha...?
Ann: The sprites! I gave them some crack to take my pants to your house for washing since you have a stream. You see they get kind of dirty after wearing them every day.
Jack: My god that's actually a rational explanation. You pants shall be washed and returned shortly!
Jack then notices something. He is talking to Ann and holding her pants...GOOD GOD SHE'S NOT WEARING PANTS
Jack fled. Ann without pants was a bit too much for him right now. He went outside and collected his thoughts.
Jack: Need more booze for Karen! I'll give her a gift everyday until she likes me yea! Too bad I can't make all the villagers like me.
Jack's standing with villagers-
Mayor:-10
Manna:-10
Duke: neutral(he's a robot remember)
Karen:+14
Doug:+2(for the Inn incident)
Ann:+6
Jeff:+7(for helping Karen)
everyone else hasn't met Jack yet
Jack skipped off to the Inn unaware of the volatile social issues surrounding him. Ignorance is bliss
Jack enters Vineyard
Duke: Hey how bout a glass of wine? You drink don't you?
Jack: DAMN YOU KILLER ROBOT! JUDO CHOP!!©
Duke: Darn Manna checks.*pop* fizzle Robot Duke falls dead on the ground
Jack: HI MANNA I NEED WINE
Manna:300G
Jack: Hey wasn't it 500 last time?
Manna: Yes it was but I decided after you found Karen that you couldn't be that bad of a guy so I decided to forgive you and lower the price of my wine down again so that I wouldn't be overcharging you. Aja liked wine so much it's a shame she left the village...
Jack: JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOZE! *hands over money*(he got it from mountain foraging every day ok?!)
Manna: Here you are.
Jack took the wine and was about to leave when he saw Karen enter.
Jack: Karen! Hi!
Karen: YAY I didn't expect to find you here! Now you can drink away your troubles with me!
Jack: Actually I really don't have that many troubles.
Karen: When I drink I'm able to forget all of my woes and leave my life behind.
Jack: thank you for that in depth character information.have some wine gives Karen wine
Karen: Why thank you Jack you're so kind! (heart rate at +19)
Jack: Hey your heart turned blue!
Karen: Oh look at that it did. Here you can have my pants now.
Jack: WHA?!??!
Karen: Oh it's village tradition. When a girl likes you a lot she gives you an article of clothing.
Jack: But it's just blue! shouldn't you be giving me your pants when it's like pink?
Karen: oh shut up and take the pants silly.
Jack and Karen sit on the stoop of the vineyard drinking...Yes Karen still does not have pants on. She really is quite a troubled character....Rick walks by quite shocked.
Jack: well today was fun but I have to go water my turnips so I can get some money. See ya around. And thanks for the pants.
Karen Jack wait...
Karen leaned in to kiss Jack on the side of the cheek again. Jack smiled and hugged Karen before he left. Then he ran off to the farm.
Jack: Hooray turnips! You will be finished growing tomorrow! And then I will sell you or eat you!(Talking to plants is a good idea) MUAHAHAHA
Jack watered all of his turnips and then decided to pick some flowers in the mountains and meet the other village girls. He grabbed as many pretty yellow ones as he could carry and then ran past got's house. He saw the big shiny chicken sign for chicken Lill's and went in.(ok yes technically there should be the fight between Rick and Popuri but that's just boring)
Jack: WOW THERE'RE TWO GIRLS IN ONE HOUSE! COOL!
Lilia: Hello I'm Rick and Popuri's mother. I haven't seen you around before. You must be Jack. My husband isn't here. He's looking for a cure for my sickness but I'm afraid that's not a happy thing(Ok someone tell me why she says it's not a happy thing. Who would think that's happy?!)
Jack: Woah you're their mother? Cool. MILF
Popuri: Hello I'm Popuri. I work here with my mother and brother. It's nice to meet you.
Jack: here have a pretty flower *hands Popuri flower*
Popuri: Oh thank you! hehe
Jack: Oh screw it I can't break tradition. *Jumps into popuri's dress*
Popuri: GYAIH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!
Rick pulls Jack from under Popuri's dress.
Rick: Hey what do you think you're doing?!
Jack: Ahh I....shifty eyed glance fell. Yea that's it.
Rick: OK that makes sense.
Popuri: Oh yea well that's ok.(-dumb blonde(her hair is dyed)
Jack: Yea well nice to meet all of you. I'll be going now heh.see ya
Jack backed out the door and ran off into the night.
Jack: TO THE BAR AGAIN!
Chapter VIII
Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Jack Didn't like the sounds he heard coming from the bushes. Wait what sounds? It was quiet...Anyway. Jack had a feeling that something was off. Something was not quite right in this peaceful little village. Something was amok. And then he saw it. A dark shadow looming in the distance by the entrance to Yodel farm. It was coming closer. And then Jack saw it was Ann.
Ann: Hi Jack! I came to tell you that the Inn is having a special tonight.
Jack: free booze?! better yet free girls?!
Ann: Not quite. It's a 2 for one deal...
And then it pounced.
The Monkey landed squarely upon Ann's shoulders, gave a hoot of rage, shook it's monkey fists, And peed directly on top of Ann's head.
Ann: GYAAAHHH!!!!! WHAT IS THIS THING JACK?! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Jack took out his handy ax and slashed at the monkey perched on Ann's head in a pool of it's own urine. The monkey leaped from her head into the bushes, lost to the night.
Jack: It's ok it's gone now, it was only a monkey.
Ann: BUT HE PEED ON ME!!!!
Jack: Let's go to the Inn and wash off your hair.
Jack walked with Ann to the Inn. Everyone stared while the two walked Inn. Jack laughed and said...
Jack: Haha it's ok everyone Ann just fell in the stream.
group response: *Chuckle* *chuckle* ah haha
Ann whispering: Thanks Jack
Jack walked with Ann back into her bedroom where she washed off her hair. After it had dried Ann came out and went with Jack back into the Inn. Jack saw Karen over at the bar quite drunk but he didn't want to leave Ann's side yet. It would seem rude. Jack and Ann talked for hours(no time passed outside. Magic) Jack got quite drunk on free wine that Ann gave him. After a last farewell drink Jack walked outside with Ann.
Ann: Jack thank you for helping me tonight...I...I want you to know how much I appreciate it. Ann wrapped her arms around Jack's waist and kissed him.
Jack: Waahhhh...
Ann smiled and walked back inside.
Jack turned and saw that someone had been watching.
Jack: Gyah! Karen, Stu, May, MONKEY!!
Jack dives at the monkey who was standing by a lamp post. The monkey climbs up the lamp, stands at the top, hoots, and shakes his monkey fists.
Jack: GET BACK HE MIGHT PEE AT ANY MOMENT!
Karen: woooo *falls over* cow?
Stu and May: It's a monkey! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...hahhaha...ha *both fall over*
Jack: What is wrong with you people?!
Jack notices that Karen has a wine bottle in her hand. That explains her, but what about Stu and May?! He looks closely at both of them and sees that each is holding a bag of curry!
Jack: DAMN YOU DRUG DEALING CHINA MAN(no offence meant to other creeds, races, religions, etc in this story, I just happen to think that Won sells drugs.)
Jack to Karen: Karen are you alright...do you remember what you just saw?
Karen: Cow? I dwink and den I see cow...hehehe
So Karen was no longer a problem. But Stu and May? Jack picked up both children and returned them to their proper homes assuring their families that they would be better in the morning. He returned to the outside of the Inn and carefully picked Karen up and carried her to the supermarket. In the distance he saw a figure approach. Jack thought this could look bad so he set Karen down in the bushes and waited for the person to pass. IT WAS KILLER ROBOT DUKE!
Suddenly the monkey leapt from a bush, landed on Duke, did his monkey routine, and deposited urine on Duke's head.
Duke: GYAH *pop* *fizzle* *sparks shoot from his head*
Robot Duke falls onto the ground electrifying the monkey.
Jack: that was pretty damn cool.
He picked Karen up and carried her to the Supermarket's doorstep. He heard a noise behind him.
Jack turned. He heard the air whistle past his ears as the monkey leaped forward, fangs bared. Jack quickly pulled out his sickle and went Neo style like in the matrix(ya know when he bends over backwards and the bullets go over him ya ya). The monkey passed over Jack and slammed straight into the door to the Supermarket. It quickly back flipped onto its feet and sprung at Jack again. Jack dodged to the left, doing a dive and holding his sickle out towards the monkey at the same time. The monkey was sliced clean in half by the sickle. Unfortunately things can't be sliced in Harvest Moon world and the monkey just yelped and ran for the bushes shaking his monkey fists.
Jack stood and straightened his invisible tie. All in a days work. Jack heard Sasha and Jeff coming to the door so he quickly ran down the path back to his house to get some sleep.
Jack woke at his usual time, ate an egg, and then headed out the door. He was greeted by a cut scene.
Barley and May walk onto the farm.
Barley: Jack, May is bored, can she stay on your farm?
Jack: ah sure... Hey wait it's another one of those damn boxes!
Send her to Ellen's----
Tell her to go to the church
Jack: NO STAY AWAY FROM THAT CHURCH FREAK! Go to Ellen's!
Jack May and Barley walk over to Ellen's where they find Stu also bored.
Ellen: I can't watch these children, take them to Pastor Carter.
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THERE! NOT THE CHILDREN! OH GOD NO HE'LL MOLEST THEM!
The inevitable cut scene happened. Pastor Carter hastily agreed to take the children and ushered them into the church. As he did he glanced over his shoulder at Jack. There was menace in that look. Jack was sure.
Jack returned to the farm and collected his turnips. YAY TURNIPS!
Jack: Now I can make lots of money and buy lots of wine! YAY
Jack smiled and went about his work for the day
Chapter XIV
Jack headed for the vineyard. No more Killer robot Duke. Jack was happy. Until he saw...KILLER ROBOT DUKE!
Duke: How bout some wine, you drink don't ya?
Jack: But you were electrocuted!
Duke: Darn Manna checks the number of bottles...
Jack: KYIA!! JUDO CHOP!(c)
Duke fell to the floor....again. Some things just defy explanation.
Jack went in to buy some wine from Manna. We will skip that conversation seeing as it is needlessly long and boring.
After the vineyard Jack thought he might go check on Ann at the Inn. As he walked in he heard Doug call over to him.
Doug: Hi Jack. I believe Ann's at the hot spring with the other girls, you can go find her there.
Jack: Oh thanks....Wait how did you know I wanted Ann?
Doug: Oh come on like you're gonna come in to talk to me or Harris. HAHAHA
Jack headed off to the hot spring. As he started up the steps he heard loud splashes and giggles. He quietly walked up the last few steps, not wanting to scare the girls. Jack put his head against the boards and peeked through into the hot spring. GYAH THEY WERE ALL NAKED! ALL OF THEM!
Karen: I love the trip to the hot spring it's the only time I can get my shirt clean.
Ann: And it feels so nice and warm in the fall! hehe
Popuri: Oh Mary you missed a spot on your back here. *scrubs Mary's back*
Elli: Oh wow the mountain air smells so nice.
Jack . . .Couldn't . . .Breath. . .
AND THEN THE MONKEY LEAPED! Out from the branches and straight on to Jack's head sending him crashing through the boards into the hot spring.
Jack: GYAH!!!!!!! OWWWWW!
Girls: WAAAAAHHHHHHH WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!?!
ELLI: who the **** is that?!
Ann: oh you haven't met Jack? He's quite nice.
Karen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Jack: I uhhh....ummm...
Jack: Uh look I was defending you girls from this monkey that was attempting to steal all your clothes! If it wasn't for me, who knows what this monkey would have done! *holds up wet dripping monkey by the neck* It was a terrible fight! I chased him all the way from the Inn! He tore part of my arm out! And look at him now! He's dead!
Elli: No he isn't
Jack: ****! *holds wet monkey's head underwater* WHY...*gasp*...WONT...*pant*....YOU..*scream*...STOP... *GROWL*...LIVING! Jack pulled the monkey out of the water and stared at it. He couldn't tell for sure maybe he better be safe...
The monkeys eyes twitched open. It gave a hoot of rage and then clawed it's way out of Jack's hands and made it's way into the woods shaking its angry little monkey fists.
Jack: NO NOT AGAIN!
Girls: Oh Jack you were so brave! Thank you
Karen kissed Jack on the cheek. not to be outdone, Ann kissed Jack on the other cheek. Popuri smiled and kissed Jack's forehead. Elli smiled and grabbed Jack's ***. Ok that didn't really happen. Elli and Mary stood at a distance puzzled.
Jack: You know you guys still aren't wearing any clothing.
Girls: GYAH!!!!! *general scramble for clothes/towels*
Ann: Jack get out!
Jack: Ah yea sorry.
Jack stood as water dripped off his rather soggy clothes. He knew what he had to do! After the monkey! Jack raced off following the monkey's path through the trees. Using his sickle he cut a path through the undergrowth following the monkey's footprints. Finally a clearing emerged. Jack was in the town. In the Vineyard to be precise. Standing facing each other, neither making a sound was KILLER ROBOT DUKE!! AND THE MONKEY!!!
Chapter XV
Jack's jaw dropped. The monkey and robot Duke were squared, facing each other. They both knelt down into a fighting stance. The monkey, a master of Jeet Kun Do(no clue how to spell) and duke, well duke just kinda had sharp robot weapons. They stood perfectly motionless.
AND THEN THE MONKEY POUNCED! It aimed a high-flying kick straight at robot Duke's head. Duke back flipped as the monkey sailed over him and slashed at it with his sharp robot sword/arm. The monkey twisted in mid air to avoid the blow and landed back on the ground on his feet. The monkey gave what appeared to be a malicious grin, shook his monkey fists, and made cool karate monkey sounds. Duke kind of stood there. Being a robot he wasn't much for taunting the opponent. Especially a monkey...This time Duke made the first move. He lunged, sword/arm extended straight at the monkey's throat. The monkey jumped high into the air. Duke had already planned for this. He raised his blade straight up changing it from a lunge to a slash. The monkey just barely avoided a quick and sudden impalement. As he landed back on the ground a wound suddenly opened from his right arm. The monkey growled and attacked again. He threw a barrage of kicks to every level of Duke's body, aiming for all the pressure points. Sadly robots do not have pressure points. However, the kicks did massive damage to Duke's inner circuitry. The medal frame of robot Duke radiated electricity. The whole robot took one last shuddery step forward and then its head exploded.
Victor-MONKEY
Jack finally withdrew from the shadows and faced the monkey. He drew his scythe and prepared for a fight to the death. Suddenly Manna ran towards robot Duke. She cried and ran blindly to his side. Along her way she happened to step on a very small unnoticeable monkey. The monkey was crushed to death instantly. Jack saw his work was done. Manna cried out to him.
Manna: WHY JACK WHY?!?! Why did he have to go?
Jack: umm he was a robot...Who made him anyway?
Manna: I did of course!
Jack: ummm....why?
Manna: Well who else would listen to my ceaseless yapping? My only companion...gone *sob* *sob*
Jack: Why don't you errr..build another one?
Manna:. . . OK!
Jack left the carnage of the battlefield and headed to the bar. Along the way he saw Karen. He explained everything to her. She leapt into his arms.
Karen: oh Jack you were so brave. Thank you for protecting me.
Karen smiled up at Jack and kissed him lightly on the lips.
Jack: GYAHAHH!
Karen: Oh are you ever going to get used to being kissed?! *sigh* fine I'll just go back to Rick.
Jack: bu...bu..but!
Karen: ;)
Jack had had an eventful day. It was time to head home.
Chapter XVI
Manna began the construction of another robot Duke. Jack was happy. He had his farm running smoothly, with 5 whole plots of cabbage, and he was getting along pretty well with the girls. Well most of them anyway. He was kind of indifferent to Elli and Mary. *funny fact* I run my farm and talk to the other villagers just like Jack does in this story. Somehow only talking to Elli and Mary on festival days I had a blue heart with them by winter which I plan on keeping that way because of the chocolate. All the other girls are pink. MUAHAHA. Right now back to the story...Jack hadn't had to deal with Killer robot Duke or the monkey for quite some time. He wasn't even sure where the monkey was. It had managed to run away after getting trampled. Jack's only worry was the upcoming cooking festival. He didn't have much of a kitchen. About the only thing he could make was spa boiled eggs. He decided to enter a spa boiled egg regardless. The day of the festival finally came. Jack grabbed his spa boiled egg and ran for the square. He was greeted by the mayor.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out, waited a second, then ran back in.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out again. He was getting a little annoyed. He waited another second and ran back in.
Mayor: Hello, we're getting ready for the cooking festival here at 10:00. Please come back then if you have the time.
Jack automatically ran back out.
Jack: WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THAT?! GASP!! HE'S A KILLER ROBOT TOO! KILLER ROBOT MAYOR! THE PERFECT DISGUISE! But what should I do..I can't Judo chop him now and I can't during the festival...too many people around. I will no doubt think of something clever eventually...Now to the festival!
Jack ran in. He talked to everyone including the gourmet judge and the mayor. he entered his spa boiled egg and waited. Jack saw Karen and Ann had entered as well. Ann had a nice rice omelet while Karen had...A burned pile of crap? The villagers awaited the gourmet's reaction...
Fat Humpty Dumpty like guy: And this years winner is...
SUDDENLY FROM THE TREES SPRANG...THE MONKEY! He landed on the main judging table. He was wearing a black mask and black cape. He gave a cruel monkey laugh as he knocked each dish off of the table.
Jack: Everybody get down! I'll take care of this scum!(how cool did that sound?!)
Jack drew his sickle and faced the monkey
Jack: Don't make me use this.
The monkey shook his monkey fists and sprung at Jack's throat.
As the monkey rushed towards him, ready to gnaw off most of Jack's extremities, Jack leaped for safety. He landed perfectly. Right where he'd planned. In Karen's pants.
Karen: GYAAAAH NOT AGAIN!
Jack: shhh the monkey will see me be quiet!
Karen: Jack why did you jump in my pants of all places?
Jack: It was an accident. Now be quiet or the monkey will eat you too
The monkey wandered in and out of the judging tables, searching for Jack. As he passed by Karen Jack jumped out from his hiding spot and buried the hilt of his sickle in the monkey's furry little tummy. The monkey made a big "OOOOOFFFFFf" noise and fell breathless to the ground.
Monkey: OOOOO EEEEE EEEE EEEEE! *angry hoots*
translation-you dirty bastard. That was a cheap shot
Jack: Ha that's right monkey, hoot all you want, I have won, fair and square.
Apparently the monkey did not think so. He picked up a dish off of the table and flung it at Jack. It was Karen's burned pile of crap.
Jack: NO NOT THE CRAP!
Jack ducked and narrowly avoided what would have been the first burned pile of crap related death ever.(this excludes Michael Jackson's career)Jack warily took a step towards the monkey. The monkey picked up another dish and threw it at Jack. Jack pulled out his sickle and sliced the dish in half. Both parts flew past his head and crashed against the wall.
Jack: You die now monkey.
Monkey: EEEEEE EEEEEE OOOOO!
translation-I like eating my own poo.(He's a monkey he's not that smart ok?)
Jack threw his sickle boomerang style. It hit the monkey square in the chest. Unfortunately it was not the pointy part. The monkey was knocked back into the trees. Jack's sickle returned to him and the villagers cheered wildly. Ann, Karen, and Popuri came over to hug Jack. Kano made himself useful for once and took a picture. The village not only celebrated the cooking festival that day, but also the fight to save the food. (you see the monkey's plan was to take the food....I just forgot to add that in to the story. Pretend like I did)
Story to be continued.