Jack woke up. It was the beginning of Summer. Something was today. He
couldn't quite remember.
Jack to himself: Hmm is it sock day? No sock day was yesterday. Maybe it's wood chopping day? No that was yesterday too. Was it pants jumping day? No everyday is pants jumping day. IT WAS THE SWIMMING FESTIVAL! Of course!
Jack dressed, ate some rice balls, and headed for the door. No crops to water today! AHAHA! Jack got some honey from the tree, randomly ate it, and headed for the square. By now he knew well enough to avoid killer robot mayor. He patiently waited outside the Yodel farm, checking his watch every minute or so. It was a loooooong two hours. Finally he was able to enter the beach.
Jack: Hi everyone I'm finally here!
Karen and Ann rushed over to greet him. They had bathing suits on.
Jack: Hey I thought the swimming contest was only for men!
Karen: Yea well we appealed to the mayor and now us girls get to compete too! hehe
Ann: You're dead Jack!
Jack: Well hey at least I get to stare at you in bathing suits.
The girls rushed over to the water to warm up. Jack scoped out the girls in their bathing suits.
Jack: hmmm Karen's wearing a nice solid blue two piece with a halter-top. Very nice. I'd like to jump into those pants...hahaha I'm so clever. Ann has a nice yellow suit that's pretty low cut...wow never noticed those...Ahem anyway Popuri has a flower suit. Big ****ing surprise there, the flower freak. She still looks pretty nice with her hair down though. Mary has a black one piece on. She's still pretty shy. Too bad she doesn't get contacts and flaunt a little more. Elli also has a one piece. She looks a little more confidant then Mary though. I haven't really noticed Elli much. She looks pretty hot. maybe I should stop in the clinic and say hi once in awhile.
Jack walked around and talked to everyone. He was confident that he had this festival in the bag! Start time finally came. Jack lined up with the girls and the rest of the participants.
Mayor Thomas (killer robot mayor): Ok here are the rules. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Jack spaced out. He knew how to swim!
Mayor: BLAH BLAH... Past that rock Rick's standing at!
Jack to himself: Ok so I go to that rock. Wow Rick's really waving his arms and looking stupid...WTF is he waving a shovel? Oh well let's get this thing started!
Mayor: Ready...Set...GO!!!!
Jack Pushed off the beach and headed straight for the rock. He held his head under water the whole time. He was gonna make it! He knew he was! Jack touched the rock! He surfaced and opened his eyes.
Jack: wha?
He was floating touching the dock. He had swerved sideways and ran into everyone else. They were all floundering in a mess of arms and legs in the middle.
Visual-
.
.0 ---Jack
.
. xoxox
. xoxxoxo ---Tangle of bodies
.
Jack: Hey I could still win!
Jack swam to Rick at top speed he touched the rock. He had done it! He won! The mayor called a stop to the contest. Villagers rushed over to untangle the mess of contestants. Everyone gathered back on the beach. As soon as everyone was together the fighting started
Kai: Hey Jack that wasn't fair!
Harris: Yea what's the big idea?
Jeff: I was going to win this time! You cheated and messed us all up!
Jack: Woah Woah now everyone. I just ahhh...heh...It was an accident?
Kai: GET HIM!!!!!
The villagers ran towards Jack. Jack backed up, turned and ran for the stairs. He suddenly changed course and bee-lined straight the other way. He leaped and landed. He was safe. Inside of Karen's pants.
Karen: GYAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Jack looked around. Hey these weren't Karen's pants...He could see everyone staring at him. What was this blue thing he was holding? It was kinda wet. Jack looked up at Karen in puzzlement
Jack: WAAAAHHHHHHH!
Karen was naked. Jack was holding both parts of her bathing suit. Karen stood there frozen, a look of shock on her face. Jack stared. She...was...naked. Jack was the first one to say anything.
Jack: Wow are those real?
Karen unfroze and did the only thing she could. She pulled Jack up to block everyone else from view.
Jack: Hey I'm really sorry about that.
Karen grabbed her bathing suit, not saying a word. She slipped it on standing behind Jack and then stood.
Jack: Hey really I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I hope everything's okay.
Karen wound up and punched. Jack sailed high into the sky until he was a little shiny speck on the horizon.
Jack: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HEY DO I STILL WIN THE POWER BERRY?!
Jack blinked out of existence.
Jack fell back to the ground in front of Karen's feet. She picked him up, stood him up straight, and then punched the **** out of him again. Jack flew off over the horizon again and Karen ran off of the beach in tears. Everyone was stunned. They had seen Karen naked, who wouldn't be stunned?
Jack landed on the farm.
Jack: oww. That hurt a little. Oh well. On with the chopping and the digging!
Jack chopped and dug. He wrote in his diary and went to sleep. Jack had a plan for the next day. Not only was he going to show Karen how sorry he was, he was going to uncover one of the biggest scandals in the entire town. Jack headed for the church.
As he arrived he saw Stu and May enter. Perfect, just as he had planned (it's a good thing all the villagers keep the same schedule.) He climbed on top of the sprite's house, and then jumped onto the church roof. You didn't know Jack could jump did you? He leaned into the bell tower and peered into the church. He saw Stu talking to Pastor Carter. Stu seemed upset and then the Pastor put his arm around him.
Jack: AHA!!!!! I KNEW IT! THAT CRAZY SON OF A BITCH IS A CHILD MOLES...
Wumph. Something hit Jack from behind. Hard. He was knocked off of the church roof and plummeted to the ground, landing on his back. As he passed out he could have sworn he heard victorious monkey hooting.
Jack woke up in a strange room. He had never been here before...It smelled funny. Like too much beer and throw up. It also had a pleasant smell though. One that reminded Jack of Karen's pants. Jack tried to sit up and look around. He couldn't. He felt a hand fall upon his chest.
Girl's voice: Don't sit up. Take it easy.
Jack: Where am I?
Girl: It's me Karen. I carried you to my room after i found you on the church sidewalk.
Jack: You carried me?! And wait a minute if I broke something you're supposed to not move me!
Karen: Yea yea shut up this is a Natsume game, not real life. Here, your rucksack and clothes. *Puts rucksack on Jack's stomach*
Jack: My clothes?
Karen: Yea I had to switch your clothes, they were all bloody and smelled like monkeys.
Jack: Wait a minute you saw me naked?!?!
Karen: Yep I saw the little farmer. Nothing new to me don't sweat it. Oh and one more thing.
Jack opened his eyes and saw Karen lean down to kiss him. As she did she moved her hand down his stomach...TO HIS PANTS?!?! She started to take them off and then.... Jack felt something hard thrown at his nether regions.
Jack: OWWWWW WHAT WAS THAT!
Karen: That's the power berry you won. They gave it to me. You're welcome.
Jack: KAREN I'M SORRY! I really didn't mean to do that swimsuit thing...
Karen: You're forgiven. Karen walked out the door and Jack went back to sleep.
Jack stayed at Karen's all night. When he woke in the morning he felt much better. He had been lucky, he hadn't broken anything. The Doctor came by to see him at Karen's and told him that he should be all right. He shouldn't do much heavy farm-work though. Ha like Jack ever did heavy farm-work. He left Karen's the next day after thanking her for everything she had done. Jack went home to his farm and began work once again.
About a day later Jack was bored. Nothing exciting had happened in a whole day! He was suspicious. Usually the Monkey, Pastor Carter, or some robot would create a hassle about every day or so. Jack decided he should check out the village to make sure he wasn't missing out on anything. His first stop was the hot spring. Well ok, he knew today was the girl's hot spring day. He told himself that he just better check on them to make sure nothing was wrong...
Ann: Oh look it's a monkey in the hot spring!
Popuri: Awww how cute! It's taking a bath! Let's go in with it!
The girls undressed (luckily Jack was still at the bottom of the stairs, not watching) and stepped into the hot spring.
Jack to himself: Damn I knew it! It's that monkey! He's going to try to rape them all!
He had to do something, and he had to do it quick. He decided maybe a quiet stealthy approach was better then just running up there. Jack climbed up a nearby tree and crawled along a branch until he was over the hot spring. Then a minor problem occurred. They were naked. Jack liked naked...He was losing his grip and about to fall into the hot spring. He closed his eyes and hung on to the branch. He had to think of something!
Popuri: aww such a cute monkey!
Mary: Will he bite?
Elli: Of course not! He's just a cute innocent little monkey! Look he's happy!
Jack decided he had one option. He let go of the branch and landed in the hot spring sending a huge splash of water and causing the girls to scream.
Elli: What the **** was that!?
Jack: HAHA I'VE GOT YOU NOW YOU DAMN MONKEY!
Jack stood up holding a very wet monkey in one hand. He quickly stuffed it in his rucksack (some things are better put in the rucksack then the pants).
Mary: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! IT'S JACK!
Ann: JACK GET OUT!!!!!
Karen: DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? GET OUT NOW!
Jack: Ahh haha I'm sorry but you see I was really saving you from this monkey! He was going to rape you! -_-;
Elli: You ****ing moron! It was a ****ing monkey and it wasn't doing a thing! You just wanted to see us naked!
Jack: NOT UH! Really! I was saving you from the monkey!
Karen: I've about had it with you! Get out!
Karen shoved Jack out of the hot spring. Jack called back to them over the wall.
Jack: REALLY I WAS SAVING YOU!
Elli: Is he always this brain dead?
Popuri: Hehe maybe we trust him? ----Dumb blonde
Jack felt pretty downtrodden and rejected. He had tried really hard to save them and they didn't appreciate it at all!
Just then Mayor Thomas ran up to Jack quite out of breath.
Mayor: JACK HELP! Get the girls and get going!
Jack: Wha?! What's wrong?
Mayor...
Mayor: There's a monkey in my pants!
Jack: Ummm...Wow ok first of all I don't swing that way, second of all I really don't need to know that, and thirdly for a robot you sure do seem excitable
Mayor: No really I mean it! There's a ****ing monkey in my pants!
Jack looked down at the Mayor's pants. They were kinda hard to see since the Mayor is a midget and all. Jack noticed that there were peculiar bumps and bulges moving around inside the pants. He decided that maybe the Mayor meant an actual monkey.
Jack: JUDO CHOP!!!!(c)
Mayor: AIIIIEEEEE!!!!!! THAT WASN'T THE MONKEY! *Mayor crumples on ground*
A monkey leaped out of the pants and ran off into the woods shaking his monkey fists.
Jack: right, uhh sorry about that and all...*Jack slowly backs away* Yea umm I'll be going now.... Must save the village and all that...*Jack turns and runs*
Mayor: ****!!!!!!! IT HURTS IT HURTS!
Jack entered the village. It was time to either kick some monkey *** or chew some bubble-gum. Jack was all out of gum. He upholstered his sickle and did a forward roll ending up right behind the corner of the blacksmith's shop. He spun left popping out from behind the building and throwing his sickle at the same time. It swooped up into a nearby tree. There was an audible thump as a monkey hit the ground. The sickle returned to Jack's hand. Damn wasn't that cool! He ran on towards the supermarket.
Several dead monkeys later, Jack arrived. He figured Karen would have gone home by now to lock up and be safe with her family. The door was bolted shut. There was chicken wire wrapped around all entrances. The front windows were boarded up. The place was monkey proof. How was he going to get in? Jack went around back and climbed through an open window. Jeff was in the middle of the back room holding Sasha and Karen tight.
Jeff: JACK! How did you get in?!?!
Jack: oh I went around back.
Jeff: But that's not possible!! There's an invisible monkey proof wall!
Jack: No time to discuss this needlessly complicated explanation! We must fight the monkeys!
Karen: Oh Jack I knew you'd come for me!
Jack: Actually I just kinda wanted a sandwich, I'm all out of bread at home.
Jeff: No time for a sandwich! Let's fight those damn monkeys! *Pulls out shotgun, pumps and loads*
Jack and Jeff kicked down the front door and let all hell loose upon nearby homosapians...well besides people...Tricky how that works. Anyway, the monkeys were cleared out. Jeff and Jack made their way to...
Jack: Look! It's a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade! (c)
Jeff: Aww man a monkey just carried my wife into the woods.
Jack: It's ok! Have a Mike's!
Jeff: Hey thanks! *Jack and Jeff drink Mike's...elevator music plays.*
5 minutes later-
Jack: Ok let's chase that monkey!
Jeff: HAHAHA you said dong!
Jack: ...You really can't handle liquor well can you?
Jeff falls over laughing. His shotgun hits the ground and fires, shooting through Jeff's foot.
Jeff: HAHAHAHA...oww
Jack: Let's go!
Jack and Jeff run, well in Jeff's case hobble, off into the woods following a group of monkeys. They seem to be heading towards something...finally a clearing emerges.
Jack: HOLY **** IT'S A VILLAGE OF SOCK PUPPETS! ...no it isn't never mind. It's that monkey king from the jungle book!
King Louis: *starts singing monkey song from jungle book*
Jeff pumps, aims and fires. Monkeys stop mid-song. They all turn to stare at Jeff and Jack. They charge. Jeff and Jack go back to back. Monkey carnage flies. Being a farmer sure is complicated. Jeff and Jack finish off the monkeys and search for the secret monkey-spawning device. They turn a corner and see.... MICHAEL JACKSON?!?!!
MJ: Hello boys. You've found me. I'm the monkey-spawning device.
Jack: But why Michael, why??!?!
MJ: Well I figured hey, if I can be in Men in Black 2, why not Harvest Moon? It's my favorite game.
Jeff: You know we have to kill you now.
MJ: I know. Goodbye boys, goodbye.
Jeff puts a bullet through MJ's oddly monkey like head.
Jack: Wow that was an unforeseen plot twist.
Jeff: Who wants apple pie?!
The villagers: ME!!!!!!!!
They all retire to the Inn for pie.
Bet you didn't know Michael Jackson plays Harvest Moon. Well neither did I. But now we know.
Jack to himself: Hmm is it sock day? No sock day was yesterday. Maybe it's wood chopping day? No that was yesterday too. Was it pants jumping day? No everyday is pants jumping day. IT WAS THE SWIMMING FESTIVAL! Of course!
Jack dressed, ate some rice balls, and headed for the door. No crops to water today! AHAHA! Jack got some honey from the tree, randomly ate it, and headed for the square. By now he knew well enough to avoid killer robot mayor. He patiently waited outside the Yodel farm, checking his watch every minute or so. It was a loooooong two hours. Finally he was able to enter the beach.
Jack: Hi everyone I'm finally here!
Karen and Ann rushed over to greet him. They had bathing suits on.
Jack: Hey I thought the swimming contest was only for men!
Karen: Yea well we appealed to the mayor and now us girls get to compete too! hehe
Ann: You're dead Jack!
Jack: Well hey at least I get to stare at you in bathing suits.
The girls rushed over to the water to warm up. Jack scoped out the girls in their bathing suits.
Jack: hmmm Karen's wearing a nice solid blue two piece with a halter-top. Very nice. I'd like to jump into those pants...hahaha I'm so clever. Ann has a nice yellow suit that's pretty low cut...wow never noticed those...Ahem anyway Popuri has a flower suit. Big ****ing surprise there, the flower freak. She still looks pretty nice with her hair down though. Mary has a black one piece on. She's still pretty shy. Too bad she doesn't get contacts and flaunt a little more. Elli also has a one piece. She looks a little more confidant then Mary though. I haven't really noticed Elli much. She looks pretty hot. maybe I should stop in the clinic and say hi once in awhile.
Jack walked around and talked to everyone. He was confident that he had this festival in the bag! Start time finally came. Jack lined up with the girls and the rest of the participants.
Mayor Thomas (killer robot mayor): Ok here are the rules. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Jack spaced out. He knew how to swim!
Mayor: BLAH BLAH... Past that rock Rick's standing at!
Jack to himself: Ok so I go to that rock. Wow Rick's really waving his arms and looking stupid...WTF is he waving a shovel? Oh well let's get this thing started!
Mayor: Ready...Set...GO!!!!
Jack Pushed off the beach and headed straight for the rock. He held his head under water the whole time. He was gonna make it! He knew he was! Jack touched the rock! He surfaced and opened his eyes.
Jack: wha?
He was floating touching the dock. He had swerved sideways and ran into everyone else. They were all floundering in a mess of arms and legs in the middle.
Visual-
.
.0 ---Jack
.
. xoxox
. xoxxoxo ---Tangle of bodies
.
Jack: Hey I could still win!
Jack swam to Rick at top speed he touched the rock. He had done it! He won! The mayor called a stop to the contest. Villagers rushed over to untangle the mess of contestants. Everyone gathered back on the beach. As soon as everyone was together the fighting started
Kai: Hey Jack that wasn't fair!
Harris: Yea what's the big idea?
Jeff: I was going to win this time! You cheated and messed us all up!
Jack: Woah Woah now everyone. I just ahhh...heh...It was an accident?
Kai: GET HIM!!!!!
The villagers ran towards Jack. Jack backed up, turned and ran for the stairs. He suddenly changed course and bee-lined straight the other way. He leaped and landed. He was safe. Inside of Karen's pants.
Karen: GYAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Jack looked around. Hey these weren't Karen's pants...He could see everyone staring at him. What was this blue thing he was holding? It was kinda wet. Jack looked up at Karen in puzzlement
Jack: WAAAAHHHHHHH!
Karen was naked. Jack was holding both parts of her bathing suit. Karen stood there frozen, a look of shock on her face. Jack stared. She...was...naked. Jack was the first one to say anything.
Jack: Wow are those real?
Karen unfroze and did the only thing she could. She pulled Jack up to block everyone else from view.
Jack: Hey I'm really sorry about that.
Karen grabbed her bathing suit, not saying a word. She slipped it on standing behind Jack and then stood.
Jack: Hey really I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I hope everything's okay.
Karen wound up and punched. Jack sailed high into the sky until he was a little shiny speck on the horizon.
Jack: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HEY DO I STILL WIN THE POWER BERRY?!
Jack blinked out of existence.
Jack fell back to the ground in front of Karen's feet. She picked him up, stood him up straight, and then punched the **** out of him again. Jack flew off over the horizon again and Karen ran off of the beach in tears. Everyone was stunned. They had seen Karen naked, who wouldn't be stunned?
Jack landed on the farm.
Jack: oww. That hurt a little. Oh well. On with the chopping and the digging!
Jack chopped and dug. He wrote in his diary and went to sleep. Jack had a plan for the next day. Not only was he going to show Karen how sorry he was, he was going to uncover one of the biggest scandals in the entire town. Jack headed for the church.
As he arrived he saw Stu and May enter. Perfect, just as he had planned (it's a good thing all the villagers keep the same schedule.) He climbed on top of the sprite's house, and then jumped onto the church roof. You didn't know Jack could jump did you? He leaned into the bell tower and peered into the church. He saw Stu talking to Pastor Carter. Stu seemed upset and then the Pastor put his arm around him.
Jack: AHA!!!!! I KNEW IT! THAT CRAZY SON OF A BITCH IS A CHILD MOLES...
Wumph. Something hit Jack from behind. Hard. He was knocked off of the church roof and plummeted to the ground, landing on his back. As he passed out he could have sworn he heard victorious monkey hooting.
Jack woke up in a strange room. He had never been here before...It smelled funny. Like too much beer and throw up. It also had a pleasant smell though. One that reminded Jack of Karen's pants. Jack tried to sit up and look around. He couldn't. He felt a hand fall upon his chest.
Girl's voice: Don't sit up. Take it easy.
Jack: Where am I?
Girl: It's me Karen. I carried you to my room after i found you on the church sidewalk.
Jack: You carried me?! And wait a minute if I broke something you're supposed to not move me!
Karen: Yea yea shut up this is a Natsume game, not real life. Here, your rucksack and clothes. *Puts rucksack on Jack's stomach*
Jack: My clothes?
Karen: Yea I had to switch your clothes, they were all bloody and smelled like monkeys.
Jack: Wait a minute you saw me naked?!?!
Karen: Yep I saw the little farmer. Nothing new to me don't sweat it. Oh and one more thing.
Jack opened his eyes and saw Karen lean down to kiss him. As she did she moved her hand down his stomach...TO HIS PANTS?!?! She started to take them off and then.... Jack felt something hard thrown at his nether regions.
Jack: OWWWWW WHAT WAS THAT!
Karen: That's the power berry you won. They gave it to me. You're welcome.
Jack: KAREN I'M SORRY! I really didn't mean to do that swimsuit thing...
Karen: You're forgiven. Karen walked out the door and Jack went back to sleep.
Jack stayed at Karen's all night. When he woke in the morning he felt much better. He had been lucky, he hadn't broken anything. The Doctor came by to see him at Karen's and told him that he should be all right. He shouldn't do much heavy farm-work though. Ha like Jack ever did heavy farm-work. He left Karen's the next day after thanking her for everything she had done. Jack went home to his farm and began work once again.
About a day later Jack was bored. Nothing exciting had happened in a whole day! He was suspicious. Usually the Monkey, Pastor Carter, or some robot would create a hassle about every day or so. Jack decided he should check out the village to make sure he wasn't missing out on anything. His first stop was the hot spring. Well ok, he knew today was the girl's hot spring day. He told himself that he just better check on them to make sure nothing was wrong...
Ann: Oh look it's a monkey in the hot spring!
Popuri: Awww how cute! It's taking a bath! Let's go in with it!
The girls undressed (luckily Jack was still at the bottom of the stairs, not watching) and stepped into the hot spring.
Jack to himself: Damn I knew it! It's that monkey! He's going to try to rape them all!
He had to do something, and he had to do it quick. He decided maybe a quiet stealthy approach was better then just running up there. Jack climbed up a nearby tree and crawled along a branch until he was over the hot spring. Then a minor problem occurred. They were naked. Jack liked naked...He was losing his grip and about to fall into the hot spring. He closed his eyes and hung on to the branch. He had to think of something!
Popuri: aww such a cute monkey!
Mary: Will he bite?
Elli: Of course not! He's just a cute innocent little monkey! Look he's happy!
Jack decided he had one option. He let go of the branch and landed in the hot spring sending a huge splash of water and causing the girls to scream.
Elli: What the **** was that!?
Jack: HAHA I'VE GOT YOU NOW YOU DAMN MONKEY!
Jack stood up holding a very wet monkey in one hand. He quickly stuffed it in his rucksack (some things are better put in the rucksack then the pants).
Mary: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! IT'S JACK!
Ann: JACK GET OUT!!!!!
Karen: DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? GET OUT NOW!
Jack: Ahh haha I'm sorry but you see I was really saving you from this monkey! He was going to rape you! -_-;
Elli: You ****ing moron! It was a ****ing monkey and it wasn't doing a thing! You just wanted to see us naked!
Jack: NOT UH! Really! I was saving you from the monkey!
Karen: I've about had it with you! Get out!
Karen shoved Jack out of the hot spring. Jack called back to them over the wall.
Jack: REALLY I WAS SAVING YOU!
Elli: Is he always this brain dead?
Popuri: Hehe maybe we trust him? ----Dumb blonde
Jack felt pretty downtrodden and rejected. He had tried really hard to save them and they didn't appreciate it at all!
Just then Mayor Thomas ran up to Jack quite out of breath.
Mayor: JACK HELP! Get the girls and get going!
Jack: Wha?! What's wrong?
Mayor...
Mayor: There's a monkey in my pants!
Jack: Ummm...Wow ok first of all I don't swing that way, second of all I really don't need to know that, and thirdly for a robot you sure do seem excitable
Mayor: No really I mean it! There's a ****ing monkey in my pants!
Jack looked down at the Mayor's pants. They were kinda hard to see since the Mayor is a midget and all. Jack noticed that there were peculiar bumps and bulges moving around inside the pants. He decided that maybe the Mayor meant an actual monkey.
Jack: JUDO CHOP!!!!(c)
Mayor: AIIIIEEEEE!!!!!! THAT WASN'T THE MONKEY! *Mayor crumples on ground*
A monkey leaped out of the pants and ran off into the woods shaking his monkey fists.
Jack: right, uhh sorry about that and all...*Jack slowly backs away* Yea umm I'll be going now.... Must save the village and all that...*Jack turns and runs*
Mayor: ****!!!!!!! IT HURTS IT HURTS!
Jack entered the village. It was time to either kick some monkey *** or chew some bubble-gum. Jack was all out of gum. He upholstered his sickle and did a forward roll ending up right behind the corner of the blacksmith's shop. He spun left popping out from behind the building and throwing his sickle at the same time. It swooped up into a nearby tree. There was an audible thump as a monkey hit the ground. The sickle returned to Jack's hand. Damn wasn't that cool! He ran on towards the supermarket.
Several dead monkeys later, Jack arrived. He figured Karen would have gone home by now to lock up and be safe with her family. The door was bolted shut. There was chicken wire wrapped around all entrances. The front windows were boarded up. The place was monkey proof. How was he going to get in? Jack went around back and climbed through an open window. Jeff was in the middle of the back room holding Sasha and Karen tight.
Jeff: JACK! How did you get in?!?!
Jack: oh I went around back.
Jeff: But that's not possible!! There's an invisible monkey proof wall!
Jack: No time to discuss this needlessly complicated explanation! We must fight the monkeys!
Karen: Oh Jack I knew you'd come for me!
Jack: Actually I just kinda wanted a sandwich, I'm all out of bread at home.
Jeff: No time for a sandwich! Let's fight those damn monkeys! *Pulls out shotgun, pumps and loads*
Jack and Jeff kicked down the front door and let all hell loose upon nearby homosapians...well besides people...Tricky how that works. Anyway, the monkeys were cleared out. Jeff and Jack made their way to...
Jack: Look! It's a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade! (c)
Jeff: Aww man a monkey just carried my wife into the woods.
Jack: It's ok! Have a Mike's!
Jeff: Hey thanks! *Jack and Jeff drink Mike's...elevator music plays.*
5 minutes later-
Jack: Ok let's chase that monkey!
Jeff: HAHAHA you said dong!
Jack: ...You really can't handle liquor well can you?
Jeff falls over laughing. His shotgun hits the ground and fires, shooting through Jeff's foot.
Jeff: HAHAHAHA...oww
Jack: Let's go!
Jack and Jeff run, well in Jeff's case hobble, off into the woods following a group of monkeys. They seem to be heading towards something...finally a clearing emerges.
Jack: HOLY **** IT'S A VILLAGE OF SOCK PUPPETS! ...no it isn't never mind. It's that monkey king from the jungle book!
King Louis: *starts singing monkey song from jungle book*
Jeff pumps, aims and fires. Monkeys stop mid-song. They all turn to stare at Jeff and Jack. They charge. Jeff and Jack go back to back. Monkey carnage flies. Being a farmer sure is complicated. Jeff and Jack finish off the monkeys and search for the secret monkey-spawning device. They turn a corner and see.... MICHAEL JACKSON?!?!!
MJ: Hello boys. You've found me. I'm the monkey-spawning device.
Jack: But why Michael, why??!?!
MJ: Well I figured hey, if I can be in Men in Black 2, why not Harvest Moon? It's my favorite game.
Jeff: You know we have to kill you now.
MJ: I know. Goodbye boys, goodbye.
Jeff puts a bullet through MJ's oddly monkey like head.
Jack: Wow that was an unforeseen plot twist.
Jeff: Who wants apple pie?!
The villagers: ME!!!!!!!!
They all retire to the Inn for pie.
Bet you didn't know Michael Jackson plays Harvest Moon. Well neither did I. But now we know.