"Forbidden Seal" from Final Fantasy XI: Treasures of Aht Urhgan

LXXVI. Leaden Salute

(Tali'Zorah)

Such a dark early-morning misted outside my window. This window to the hotel room I shared with Liara. The glass fogged with the chill from outside at this hour. This late, early hour at three in the morning. I shouldn't have been awake. I had slept soundly before waking up. No nightmares or anything. Sleeping in the same bed as Liara wasn't always easy. I had fallen asleep with her in my arms, holding her body against mine. We had this snuggly warmth of our weighted blanket over us. The calm pattering of the rain pouring outside. The absolute quiet of our hotel. Not a single sound down the halls.

Just a sense of desperation between this weighted warmth.

Desperation from Liara herself.

Having kept my mask and hood off, I breathed in this smell of her skin. The breezy scent of Liara's body wash from her shower before bed. She only wore her N7 shirt, the soft material riding up between us. Liara kept squirming around. Softly, subtly. Trying to hide it. Maybe asleep and dreaming. Maybe not.

Liara couldn't stay still against me. In heat.

I couldn't help the way she turned me on. Her movements, her sounds. How fraught she felt in my arms. Wet and wanting, dripping between her thighs. I smelled her. I felt her against the material of my suit.

I could have slipped my leg in between her. Liara easily could've ridden me, getting off. Saying her name.

Smirking at the thought, I whispered to Liara instead, "I just know she's thinking about you, too."

Liara writhed against me some more. Reacting like this, she had to be awake by now. No question.

"She's probably suffering the same in her room. How much do you want to bet she's using one of her strap-ons right now? Maybe she's lost control by herself. Jerking off to you." Breathy in her loss of control, Liara's mind followed my every word. Reddening blue of her skin. Rising and falling of her chest, higher and deeper each time. "I wonder exactly what she's thinking about. If she's picturing you sneaking into her room. Or if she wants to sneak in here instead. Either way, Shepard should reward you. You've been such a good girl, Liara, waiting for her all this time. I'm sure she appreciates it."

Muffling her moans into her pillow, Liara curled into herself. In the same motion, she slipped her hand between her thighs, stopping there. Curving her back, I admired the rounded shapes of her spine jutting down her skin. Soaking more, she drenched her hand in desperation. Drenched, and stopping there. Liara forced herself to stay still. Completely still. As if sterilizing herself of her filthy thoughts and cravings that way. As if lying there and playing dead would somehow hide her body from the predator roaming around nearby. Just down the hall. Secluded and locked away in her room, away from us both.

The perfect blue of Liara's skin.

The shadows from the rain outside our window, pouring down in darkened reflections over her back.

The same as Shepard's shadowed touch having lingered over her for so long.

Brushing my hand down this darkness, I asked, "Liara, why are you doing this? Why are you waiting?"

"Waiting for what?" she ground out, teeth clenched in frustration.

"Waiting for Shepard to come to you. Why don't you go and get her already? Take charge. Be assertive!"

When Liara refused to answer me, suddenly a light shined over the obvious.

"Oh… Oh!"

More suddenness, this time of fluffed cotton in my face.

Liara threw a pillow at my head, as if humiliated for some strange reason.

Before I could congratulate her properly, she then scurried out of bed. Clearly she didn't want to discuss this. Not at all. Not for any reason. By the time I had moved the pillow from my face, Liara had already disappeared. She'd left to the bathroom and shut the door. Smiling anyway, I reasoned with myself. The two of them, Shepard and Liara, must have kept this all a secret. I couldn't blame them. I understood.

I found this whole thing amusing, really.

Liara and Shepard wouldn't last like this. Not for much longer. Maybe they feared falling back into something with each other. But their way of avoiding that made no sense to me. They kept such a tight lid over their desires. Perhaps not realizing this was all bound to blow up in their faces. If not outright exploding at some point. Some point soon. Very soon.

I only felt more convinced once Liara emerged from the bathroom. She kept adjusting her shirt around herself, the lengths of her bare legs bringing her closer to me. That look in her face. The exasperation, the impatience. She couldn't take this for much longer.

Liara plopped back down in bed with me. She hurried back beneath our blanket, facing away.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked her.

"You weren't supposed to find out. I promised Shepard. She might get angry if she knew about this."

"Then we don't have to discuss it. I won't tell anyone. Besides, there's something else I wanted to ask."

"Okay," she allowed. "Ask away."

"Well, I wanted to know. Do you understand now why Shepard can't stay away from you? Do you see what I see? Why it is you're the one who drives her crazy?"

Liara mumbled in bitterness, "I thought we both agreed you drive her insane."

"Only from one direction," I corrected. "Remember way back when you taught me about these things? About polarity. How it makes sex so exciting. Shepard is naturally a dominant person. So yes, I do have a certain power, existing on the total opposite end of the spectrum from her. She needs more than that."

"Yes, she does… Then what is the other direction? Shepard is not submissive. She does not need anyone to dominate her. She isn't a switch."

"Not physically. Emotionally, she is. She needs someone who is older than her. Someone capable and willing to take care of her. She's had that in other people. She was content with it for some time. But Shepard still needs the opposite end. Someone who needs her to dominate them…but on a deeper level. Someone who is completely vulnerable with her. Fragile, defenseless. Like you."

Liara knew I had a point. No one else had been able to provide Shepard with both. Only she could.

"You never listened to me," I went on. "When I would tell you I wasn't bothered by them. When I would say they weren't really what Shepard needed. It took me some time to see this for myself. But once I saw the truth, I couldn't keep denying any of this. I knew they could never give her both. Even I can't. I can only offer Shepard one extreme." This edge about Liara smoothed a bit as she listened; as she began to believe me. "I promise you, Liara. At some point, with any of them, Shepard would have realized one day. She would have realized something was missing with them. I don't know if she would've automatically remembered you. So that's why I did those things over the summer. It's why I bought you that bathing suit for the beach on Earth, to tempt her with. It's why I encouraged you both to take a vacation together after the suicide mission. It's why I suggested we mess around at home for her to listen, to remember us both. You have everything she needs. You have both extremes."

"Then spell it out for me, Tali. What are these extremes?"

I smiled as darkly as the skies outside. "You are Shepard's sweet, innocent little girl. You're also mature enough now to be the opposite for her. Taking care of her in that special way. Maybe even controlling her in other ways. You are the white swan and the black swan, as the humans say. You're everything."

Liara finally turned to look at me.

This hope burgeoned in her eyes. Burning bright, her stare absorbed more light by the moment.

"I believe you. Hearing you say these things gives me the confidence I need. I know I should just…go for it again. I don't want to rush things for us. I also want to give Shepard a preview of how our relationship will be. I need to give her this image to look forward to."

"That's a good idea," I encouraged. "Do whatever feels right."

"I will. I need to know…if this will turn into a problem. For our friendship. I don't want to lose you."

"Liara, there's nothing to worry over. I'm staying in my lane. I'd never betray you. Especially not with this. The two of you have unfinished business. A lot of unfinished business. The kind that will never be finished. I'm happy with this front-row seat to the show. As long as I'm allowed to stay here, that is."

Giggling a bit, she said, "You're certainly allowed to, yes. I am not concerned about that."

I wondered, "Is this about you having to compete with me? Even though this isn't a competition."

"In some ways, it is… I am overly-sensitive about this. I need her to be mine. So much that it hurts."

"I understand that," I sympathized. "But I just want to point out: you never had to compete with anyone. Not a specific person. Myself included. Even now, you're only competing with Shepard's solitude. The peace of mind she has when she's by herself. She never reacts well whenever someone disrupts her personal sense of balance and harmony. It's taken a long time. But I think Shepard's decided she needs you for her peace of mind more than anything. That's what matters the most."

Liara smiled, nestling back into my arms. "I feel better now. Thank you, Tali. I am lucky to have you. You've saved my life…more than once now. I don't know where I would be without you. I love you."

I smiled over her solace. "I love you, too, Liara. You'll always have me. I'm not going anywhere."

As we both drifted back to sleep, I felt so much closer to her. Closer still, bound by her words.

I still remembered my own sleepless nights from before. How I would stay up worrying about her. Worrying over how badly Liara would beat herself up. Worrying about how much she'd convinced herself she and Shepard were a lost cause. Worrying and worrying that Liara would give into her sorrows one day. That I would wake up and find her gone, again, with no hopes of her coming back to us.

I thanked every god out there over not needing to worry for her anymore. Hopefully never again.

After falling back asleep, the strangest dreams clouded through my head.

An all-white background. No depth, no distance. Just a plaster of non-color everywhere.

Springing forth from that monotony, the pure eroticism of what I witnessed: Shepard and Liara together. I saw them so clearly. I had this perfect view of them up close. I watched them with their consent; I admired them in peace and satisfaction. How Shepard held Liara in her arms, always at her waist, always with that natural protectiveness. How Liara kept her hands along Shepard's chest, small and secure in her love's hold. Shepard would whisper sweet somethings to her, making Liara smile and giggle and blush. Then Shepard would kiss her. Deeply. Deep enough to inject her passions for Liara onto the empty canvas around us, painting with all those colors in kind. Deeper, as Shepard dipped Liara in her hold, still keeping the two of them together. So deep, I easily heard the sounds from their mouths as they made out like this. Wet and reaching, their tongues moving in gentleness at first, before more hunger in need.

Perfectly contented and aroused, I could have watched them like this forever.

Except someone else had joined me in this voyeurism. My favorite pastime, interrupted.

Miranda stood somewhere in the foreground. She watched Shepard and Liara, too. She watched them with tears in her eyes. Agonized. An endless well of regret watered over her stare, blurring intensely.

Blurring all the same, a vague commotion from real life pulled me out of my dream.

Half-asleep, I felt Liara holding me from behind this time. A familiar feeling had buzzed me awake. The familiar vibration from Liara's omni-tool. The deepest setting possible, mimicking an actual vibrator for sex at a low, sensual setting. The specific alert Liara had set for incoming messages from Shepard. I heard Liara giggling to herself. Quiet and so excited as she opened the message. She kept her arms around me as she read our captain's email to her. Crinkling my eyes, I found the continued rain pouring down through the morning skies. I managed to focus my sight enough to read the words in front of me:

From: Shepard – Good morning, beautiful.

Liara,

I hope I didn't wake you up by sending this. I know we agreed to help Tali with her mythic quest today. She's probably still asleep, so I wanted to ask you. Would you like to come out to breakfast with me? Or brunch by the time we get down there. There's a dining area on the first floor of our hotel. They serve brunch. It looks pretty nice. Nice enough to get dressed up. It's something we've never done before. The time we spent on vacation in Old Armali comes close. This is more formal. Something more romantic.

-Shepard

Liara slipped her arms from around me. Swooning to herself, she quickly wrote back a response. More than likely a resounding yes to Shepard asking her out on a date. Then Liara kissed my cheek before hopping out of bed. I heard that excited pattering of her feet against the carpeted floor, heading to the bathroom. By the time I heard the shower water turn on, I felt myself smiling. She sounded so cute in there, giggling more and trying to calm herself, catching her breath. Just adorably saccharine and sweet.

Then an idea suddenly sprang to mind.

I forced myself awake.

Going about my own routine, I activated the cleaning programs inside my suit. I found a breakfast snack to sip on through a straw. Not the most glamorous thing to do. Especially compared to Liara and her romantic date with the captain. I left the room anyway, assuming Liara wouldn't think to check for me in bed. I had a feeling she would be too excited. She would want to head downstairs right away. So I made my way down there first. I wanted to continue with my pastime of watching them, their relationship.

Some of this was my own protectiveness speaking.

Protective of my best friend, always.

I knew Shepard would never hurt Liara on purpose. But after everything, I couldn't help my curiosities.

Arriving at the hotel's mezzanine, I looked around for the dining area. Soon I heard the general sounds of utensils and glasses clinking; a sophisticated sense of conversations blurring into one. I walked farther in that direction, following a few well-dressed quarian couples heading to the same place. They entered to a ritzy gala of a restaurant sequestered behind the hotel's main lobby. Several large windows lined the perimeter, shaped in the signature style of Whitegate's architecture. The hotel's decorative waterfalls adorned the corners of this dining space. Those windows stayed open to an expansive view of the rainy morning. From this angle, I spotted Al Zahbi situated behind the Victory Gate to the north. Al Zahbi looked like an impenetrable military complex, with troops stationed at their posts, and others fortifying machinery out in the rain. Both the sounds of the rain and the waterfalls glossed over the mass of talking, laughter from the people here, dining at their tables in friendliness, in intimacy.

I stayed a fair distance away, scanning the area.

I only saw quarians enjoying their brunch. Only quarian couples at the dance floor off to the side, slow-dancing together. Not a single human or asari in sight. Not yet, anyway.

Off to the side, I noticed an open veranda overlooking Al Zahbi. One with plenty of shelter from the rain.

I went to sit out there. Alone in this unexpected peace. Unplanned for. Yet still so comfy and serene. I breathed in the crisp freshness of the rain in the air.

Listening inside, my auditory programs tuned to the max, I eventually heard my first cue—Commander.

Glancing behind me, I spotted Shepard at the entrance to the dining area. She spoke with the attendant there, confirming her reservation for two. I smiled over Shepard's outfit. Clean and prepared, she wore one of her military-sharp button-down shirts. A wonderful shade of cerulean blue for the occasion. She had her shirt tucked in, the length of her black dress pants sequenced in perfect creases. The squared silver of her belt buckle gleamed in the dull light of the rainy late-morning, as did her sharp dress shoes.

I listened as her shoes made not a sound as she walked along. She sat down at her table for two. Waiting for Liara to arrive. Shepard sat hunched over at first. Her chin pressed atop her clasped hands. Her long leg jutting up and down beneath the tablecloth, jackhammering in nerves. All as the beauty of her shining, colorful hair flowed down her back, like peacock feathers attracting attention.

Never on purpose, of course. Yet Shepard had attracted inquisitive stares nonetheless. She always did.

She didn't notice any of them, either. Off in her own thoughts, she wouldn't even touch the glass of iced water on her side of the table. Shepard simply stared off at the empty chair across from her. But then, as if sensing my presence, she turned her head. Precisely in my direction. I darted back behind the corner of this veranda. Just in time before she spotted me. I really hoped she wouldn't decide to come over here…

As my saving grace, Liara showed up just in time.

The novelty of her gorgeous blue and black dress and heels. And that knowing smile on her face. Knowing her attractiveness, her power. Most definitely as Shepard stood up to greet her. Almost bolting to her feet in attention. Once Liara reached her, Shepard held out her hand. Liara smiled in a bit of coyness this time, folding her fourmost fingers over Shepard's touch. Always a gentleman, Shepard leaned down, lowering her lips to the back of Liara's hand—not daring to raise Liara's tender wrist any higher than already offered. All the same, Shepard maintained such deep eye contact with her. Looking up at Liara from this angle. Looking up at the pleased press of Liara's lips, her smile, so flattered now.

"Well, this is a surprise," remarked Liara, sounding equally pleased. "A very, very wonderful surprise."

"Well, I want to treat you right."

"I don't doubt that at all. I still want a bit more, though. Won't you give me a hug as well?"

Face reddening in heat, Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara's waist this time. Liara folded her hold around Shepard's back, smiling more. She smoothed her hands up and down the rounded sinew of Shepard's muscles beneath her shirt. Such a purposeful sensuality from Liara. As if she imagined herself underneath Shepard in bed. Liara sighed, swept away in the fantasy of it all. How Shepard could have easily taken her right there.

Too gracious for her own good, Shepard wouldn't let her mind go there.

She whispered, "I adore you, Liara. You smell really nice. You're gorgeous. I love what you have on."

"Thank you, Shepard. You've already made this day one to remember. Let's sit together."

I watched in wonder as Shepard pulled Liara's chair out for her to sit first. So smooth in her movements. Subtle enough to make Liara float from one place to the next. Shepard then took her turn, sitting down in a similar flow of confidence. From here I still had this view of Shepard's back as she faced Liara across from her. The two of them browsed the menu on the kiosk together. Shepard held herself with an easy, yet powerful poise, completely enrapturing Liara's attention. Yet I spotted the rest of the story as well. Underneath the table, Shepard kept clenching her hand. Her other one, she used to work the kiosk, to gesture as she spoke, to make those ever-so-feminine flourishes of hers, charming Liara without meaning to. Yet her other hand, hidden to everyone except me, told this other tale. Gripping. Fidgeting. Twiddling. Digging her short nails into the skin of her palm. Never enough to bleed. Just enough to keep my attention. More than enough to keep me wondering about her actual confidence.

Then again, I had to consider the alternatives. Maybe this wasn't as obvious as it seemed.

Shepard gripped her hidden hand the most while ordering from the menu. She agreed to Liara's suggestion about trying the traditional asari brunch on offer. An engineered version of Thessian seafood, as my homeworld didn't exactly have an abundance of quarian fishermen on Liara's homeworld, or even a trade agreement in place for the real thing. Shepard liked seafood, didn't she? What was the problem?

Listening more closely, I decided to focus on their conversation.

The answers appeared to lie in their tone with one another. The balance and imbalances between them.

While waiting for their meals to prepare, Liara steered the conversation.

Smiling with ease, she spoke with such an air of self-assurance. One I almost didn't recognize from her.

"What did you get up to last night? In your hotel room. I am assuming you didn't bother sleeping at all."

Underneath the table, Shepard pulled at the crease on her pant leg, kneading and needling the fabric.

"No, I didn't sleep," she replied, sounding normal enough. "I spent most of the night listening to music. I watched the rain outside. I drank the tea you brought me from the ship. It was a whole vibe, a mood."

Liara repeated in genuine interest, "You watched the rain?"

"Yes…I did. I like the rain. You know that."

"Then what did you think about? While you watched the rain."

Barely, just barely, Shepard's breathing picked up.

The way Liara's eyes darted to her chest, and back up again, gave away her own observations.

Shepard merely said, "You. I thought about you."

Liara's eyes twinkled in a dark delight. "What about me?"

No immediate response.

Shepard perhaps didn't know what to say. Or she did know, and she couldn't bring herself to say it.

Recognizing the same, Liara's smile slowly shaped into a smirk.

"Tell me, Shepard. I want to know. You shouldn't keep me in suspense."

Dodging, avoiding: "You seem different today."

"I know I do. You are also avoiding the question."

"I'm not. I just get this strange feeling from you."

"What feeling do you mean?"

"Are you trying to control me, Liara?"

No denials whatsoever. "I am indeed trying my best. Even if it means getting found out like this."

Shepard pressed both of her arms atop the table now, leaning in closer. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want you, Shepard. I need you. I don't care how this might sound. I'm not letting you get away from me again. Not after all we've been through. I see no point in hiding it. My goal is to be transparent with you. This will give you an accurate preview. A preview of how our relationship will be."

Breaths picking up again, that familiar red trickled down Shepard's neck, heating her fine complexion.

More than sure of herself, Liara challenged, "Or are you going to butt heads with me? Will you resist?"

Possibly remembering my advice about backing down first, Shepard relented.

She lowered her head and said, "No, it's not about that… I wasn't expecting you to put your foot on the gas pedal. Not this soon. I can feel your grip around me, Liara. This mental grip. This imaginary grip of your hand right between me, pulling. I felt it even before you came down here. It makes me anxious."

"I see. Do you want me to stop?"

"I don't—I don't know. I don't know the answer to that."

"Then I want you to think it over. While we eat."

Right as she said that, their food arrived. Rising from the openings in the table, the automated systems delivered their steaming plates of Thessian seafood. The color blue pigmented both of their meals. Like dining on eezo, on the purest essence of biotics melted within the water. The two of them ate their brunch in absolute silence. They ate slowly. They ate without looking away from one another. They brought their forks to their lips and inside their mouths, quietly, without once breaking eye contact.

Miraculously, neither of them backed down.

After a while, Shepard seemed to make up her mind.

Liara raised her brow, expectant. She wanted to hear this.

"I don't want you to stop, babe. I know this is who you are. It just…scares me."

"Hmm, what exactly are you afraid of?"

Shepard admitted, "I don't like feeling out of control. You have me in this in-between right now. This limbo where I know what you're doing, but I'm sober enough to push back against it. I want to see more of this from you. I want to see you for you. This is something else I was running away from. Running away, avoiding. It's a trust thing. Doesn't matter than I'm the one topping you. I still feel vulnerable."

"Do you trust me, Shepard? Enough for us to continue on this path?"

"Yes. I want you to keep giving me this preview. The preview of how things will be with us."

Liara smiled in excitement. "Then I will. This will build more trust between us. If you are ever uncomfortable with me, please say so. We can discuss it. It's better than you running away instead."

"I'll try to remember," promised Shepard.

"I want you to do more than remember. But it is a lot to ask, isn't it? Going against your instincts."

"It kind of is… I guess I just need to know why. Why is your natural instinct to control me like this?"

Doting and daring, Liara's eyes brimmed with possibilities. "Because, Shepard. You are the most desirable creature I have ever encountered in my life. You are painfully handsome and beautiful and intelligent and capable. So powerful. I would kill to have you. Coming from me, you know that is no exaggeration. I've already died for you. I would have done it again, had you married another woman instead of me. The simplest answer is that I'm obsessed with you. You already know this about me."

Endlessly aroused, Shepard almost sounded out of breath. "Yeah, I do know this about you."

"As you should."

"Then is this about keeping me? Making sure I don't get away again, like you said?"

"On the surface, yes," confessed Liara.

Shepard asked, "So what's the rest of it?"

"Long ago, I once said: 'I want to know everything about you.' I meant this literally. In every sense of the words. I want to know your every thought, your every desire. I want to know every part of your body, how you function. The type of boxer briefs you are wearing. Whether or not the binder you have on has flattened your chest to your liking. I want to know the reasons why you prefer making your gender invisible. Except for your hair…and some of your more feminine mannerisms. Most especially your long, gorgeous hair. I want to know every single detail about you. The precise counts of colors in your hair; the ratio of shades of browns to your blonde highlights. Even how much your hair has grown since yesterday. Down to the millimeter. Down to the split ends you routinely cut on your own. I even want to know why my words have inspired this fear in you. This erotic fear. Your heartbeats are hammering out of control. Not once have you blinked this whole time. I'm enjoying this. Maybe more than I should."

Shepard had allowed her fork to go limp in her hand. The silver tilted from her fingers down to her plate.

Liara used her own fork to collect the last bite of her meal. The succulent blue of her seafood, raised to her mouth. She ate the rest of her food. Polite, discreet. Perfect posture and perfect mannerisms. All as she stared directly into Shepard's eyes again. That hunger. Possibly imagining something else in her mouth instead. Something of Shepard's. Not to eat, but to devour differently—sucking, swallowing.

When Shepard still couldn't respond, Liara laughed in those darkened delights of hers.

Having finished her own meal, she asked, "Are you going to eat the rest? There is only one bite left."

Shepard nodded, but she could not remember her other motor functions at the moment.

Liara reached across the short span of their table. Using her own silverware, she forked that last bite atop Shepard's plate. She then raised her fork and the food, placing her free hand just beneath the space, as a polite spill-proof, accident prevention. Liara offered the bite to Shepard. Still breathing hard, Shepard leaned in to the offer. She opened her mouth, and Liara slipped the fork just over her tongue. Staying in place, still leaning forward, Shepard ate this last bite. Chewing in thoughtfulness, in deep eye contact as Liara kept the same, stroking Shepard's face in fondness. Stroking, as if holding the carnal shape of Shepard's chewing. Studying, observing. Taking care of Shepard in this peculiar particularity.

Swallowing, and then a breath. A deep breath of release.

Shepard didn't understand any of this. Liara knew. Clashing logic all over again.

Liara simply held Shepard's glass of water, offering it to her this time.

Shepard took the glass in her hand. Drinking for herself. Buying a bit of time.

Liara allowed her to have this time. Smiling in power, in contentedness, she glanced around the area.

She spotted the couples slow-dancing together. A dreamy haze passed through her eyes. An idea.

But first she looked to Shepard, offering reassurance:

"Despite the pain, this has been a magical experience. You found me again. We reconnected. You imprinted onto me. We both know what that truly means. My most profound wish is to take care of you, Shepard. I only want it to be me. I know you better than anyone in the universe. I want to care for you with this special knowledge I have. With my feelings; how much I love you. I want you to feel safe in my arms, yet I also enjoy pushing you out of your comfort zone. You'll never want for anything with me."

Believing her every word, Shepard smiled in a gentle innocence.

Testing things out, Liara again glanced at the couples slow-dancing together. Then back to Shepard.

Expectant. Hopeful.

Getting the hint well enough, Shepard stood up. So very tall, she walked to Liara's side. She held her hand out. Again stepping out of her comfort zone. Liara smiled up at her, knowing perfectly fine Shepard didn't dance. Shepard had never danced with anyone before. But she had decided to make this special exception. Blushing in adulation, Liara placed her hand along Shepard's palm, allowing her knight to help her up. Shepard brought them to the blend of other couples dancing together, blissful in the light from the rainstorm outside. Just as heavenly, Liara eased the side of her head against Shepard's chest, resting there. Shepard held Liara around her waist, keeping this comfort between them. Lightly swaying, secure.

By the afternoon, I stopped pretending to be asleep. This gave the two lovebirds enough time to get ready for our mission. Well, my mission, as Shepard had chosen to remind me. She had even asked me which of her sniper rifles I wanted her to bring along. Instead of just choosing for herself. Legion had mentioned we would benefit from another dedicated sniper to pick out enemies from a distance. So I had asked Shepard to bring her Widow for the guaranteed one-shot kills. Shepard followed my orders.

Shepard, Liara, and Legion left the hotel with me. In order for all of us to enter Nyzul Isle together, everyone needed to be a mercenary. Not just me. Then they could help me progress my mythic weapon quest. The rainy day persisted as we left to Salaheem's Sentinels together. We all had our shields and kinetic barriers to keep us dry from the rain. After a painless process of signing everyone up with the VI-president, we then made our way to the Commissions Agency. We spoke to the receptionist in charge of Assault missions for Nyzul Isle, receiving directions to walk to the location on foot. We would need to physically travel to the Nyzul Isle Staging Point, and then attune ourselves to the runic portal there to quickly return to Whitegate, specifically within the Chamber of Passage. And so we all set off outside.

Passing through the military complex of Al Zahbi, we arrived to the Bhaflau Thickets. I had expected to find the beautiful woodlands I'd read about, filled with lush wildlife. Instead, the remaining quarians on Rannoch had transformed the thickets into something more surreal. Mechanical and artificial, these trees looked nothing like they should have. Rising stretches of glimmering, crystallized lifeforms had replaced the trees, shining in different colors of blue and orange and full rainbows. Solid ground of steel and leveled pathways, with synthetic recreations of flowers and other plant life. Manmade lakes and rivers crossed the areas we passed through, soaking up more elevation from the sky's natural rainfall.

Off in the eminent distance, I spotted the rising smoke of a twin volcano. Well across the sea, Mount Zhayolm smoldered on between the islands out there. The mining city of Halvung connected Mount Zhayolm to the Bhaflau Thickets. Halvung stretched on underground and beneath the sea. We had no reason to travel there for my mythic quest. If not for my ancestor Tahlia's achievements carrying over to me, I would have had to drag my group in there, defeating the powerful phantom enemies that only showed up once per day. If I'd had the time, I would have loved to do everything and anything I could for this weapon. One of the few downsides to taking these shortcuts to obtain this Death Penalty gun for Shepard.

Reaching the far north point of the thickets, we found our entrance to the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins.

We each had to pay the toll of one imperial silver piece to enter the ruins. Such a change of pace found us once we entered this dank darkness. Our footsteps, wet from the rain, echoed through these centuries-old hallways. Hallways darkened and maze-like. Hallways lit faintly by the light of the sea shining in, underwater, with Rannoch's marine life swimming on in peace out there. As more of a contrast, these ruins seemed to me like an undersea treasure vault. Mysterious and ornate, with rounded patterns of brass and gold lining the ground, the walls, the ceilings. So naturally ornamental.

Following Legion's directions, we took a few teleporters throughout these ruins. Without a map of this place, I felt myself intimidated by this maze of wonders. Even more as we left the teleporters behind, trekking through the squared hallways. I would have been completely lost without these directions.

We passed by a few other mercenaries off on their own business. Despite the convoluted nature of this place, those people knew exactly where to go. I wondered if they were off to participate in Salvage to collect Alexandrite jewels for their mythic. Or just cutting through the ruins to head elsewhere in the empire.

Eventually we reached a heavy, gilded door. After passing through the sumptuous surface, we reached what must have been the Nyzul Isle Staging Point. Several more mercenaries crowded the area. They mingled and waited around in this space, the wider view of the sea visible outside the many windows lining the wall. Liara, Shepard, and Legion stayed close to me as we walked around the crowd. I didn't want to get too close to anyone without my mask or helmet on, just in case.

I found the necessary kiosk to get started with Nyzul Isle. I obtained the command verification for my group, spending a small amount of imperial standing. After obtaining verification, my group followed me down the nearby hall. A seal glowed in an eerie red and violet glow. Almost as if forbidding us from continuing on. I interacted with the seal anyway, selecting the Nyzul Isle Investigation objective.

My group had clearance to enter the Assault, but of course we had to wait to enter.

All these other mercenaries around had to wait their turn. We had to wait after them.

I asked Legion, "So what can we expect once we're inside? You said we would have to fight our way up through a series of floors. Floors filled with enemies and certain objectives. All the way to floor 100."

"Yes," said Legion. "When entering the Assault area, you must interact with the rune of transfer to bring us to the first floor. We will then complete certain objectives. Each floor is random. For our objectives, we will be asked to eliminate certain enemies present, or to find and activate lamps spread out across the area. After clearing the objective, one of us will need to interact with the rune of transfer, teleporting us to the next floor. Or we may exit Nyzul Isle at this time, obtaining tokens."

Shepard wondered, "How are we supposed to get around on these floors? Will we have a map?"

"Maps and omni-tool radars are restricted. The floors within Nyzul Isle are styled similarly to the ruins around us. It is highly probable we will lose our way while completing floor objectives. It is recommended that one party member remain at the rune of transfer to facilitate floor navigation."

"And if we choose to leave instead of heading to the next floor, does it save our progress?"

"Affirmative. Our progress will be saved to Tali's runic disc. If we all become incapacitated without progress saved, we will be ejected from the Assault. If we re-enter, we must restart from the first floor."

Liara wanted to know, "Since this Nyzul Isle is a VR game, will we have some sort of healing mechanic? Some way to rest and regain our energy? Or will we have no choice but to leave once we are all tired?"

Legion responded, "We will have an automated companion to assist us with beneficial status effects."

I decided, "Okay, then depending on the objective, let's take turns waiting behind at the rune of transfer. Whoever's best equipped to handle the objective will take care of it. Whoever isn't can stay behind and get some rest. Will Shepard be able to use her cloak to go find and activate the lamps?"

"Yes, Shepard-Commander will have access to her tactical cloak. Nyzul Isle is not intended for tactical cloak users, as they are rare among Rannoch's inhabitants. This will give us a significant advantage."

Liara joked with a smile, "Are you ready to carry us to victory, Commander?"

Shepard fought back a laugh. "We'll see about that, Liara."

My omni-tool pinged with an alert. "We're connecting to the server now. Heading in shortly."

Flutters of nerves from the unknown. As we commenced transport to Nyzul Isle, the seal over the door changed colors. The translucent red and violet shifted to bright blue. The ringed circles keeping the forbidden seal in place spun around like wheels, changing our surroundings. Shepard, Liara, Legion, and myself found ourselves surrounded by a similarly bright blue light, our perception transported inside.

Only darkness at first.

Then the orange of our omni-tools glowed, signaling our successful transfer.

We arrived inside a lobby room—floor zero.

Only four walls, a floor, and a ceiling styled after the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins, as Legion had said. At the center of the lobby awaited the rune of transfer. The rune stood tall as a thin, fluted trophy of brass, rising high to the ceiling. Already, something about this darkness closed in on me. The shadows in this room seemed much longer. More intimidating. Only the elegant light from the rune of transfer gave me any comfort or direction. As I interacted with the rune, Liara, Shepard, and Legion prepared their weapons. We had no idea what to expect. Aside from what Legion had warned us about. But none of us had any actual experience inside Nyzul Isle. Taking this plunge together, I felt this eternal gratitude for my friends, my companions. Their willingness to take this plunge with me for my mission as a Spectre.

I used the rune of transfer to bring us to the first floor.

Floor one.

The four of us appeared in a much larger room, standing next to the rune again. Open doorways led to more rooms, which branched off to even more areas, each of them filled with machine-like enemies. Not geth. Skeletal enemies with metal for bones. Floating imp-like tricksters shaped as rounded steel. Large, frightening ramparts hovering from place to place. Everything shaped after beasts from centuries past, having fallen to extinction, and resurrected as these manmade creations. These terrifying creations covered nearly every inch of those rooms out there. Like a small army against us on this single floor.

As part of our cavalry, a mechanical helper appeared.

About half my size, an automaton showed up next to me. A blue-white turban wrapped around its oversized head, with the space where its face should have been blackened out as shadows. Its tiny frame wore an ornate outfit of white and gold. Standing in place with me, its long arms hung downward in front of its frame. It stood at attention, waiting for a command. Smiling, I resisted the urge to lean down and pet it.

"Who's this?" I asked, totally fascinated. "Is it the automated companion you talked about, Legion?"

"Yes. This is a Soulsoother automaton. It is capable of granting beneficial effects to our party. It can also follow one of us at a time, offering healing in the form of medi-gel. It is not programmed to fight."

Liara read my mind: "If it cannot defend itself, will the little one be safe from enemy attacks?"

"The automaton is a neutral figure to the enemy. There is no danger of incapacitation. It is immune."

"That's good," I settled. "Our objective on this floor is to defeat all enemies. All of them… How many are there?"

Shepard noted, "My radar's definitely disabled. I can't tell."

Liara added, "I cannot tell at a glance, either. There will be more of them in the rooms we can't see."

I checked to see if my tactical scan tech would work. Something new I'd put together recently.

Using my omni-tool, I highlighted one of the archaic rampart enemies in range. Its frame highlighted in orange, tracking its movements. Then I expanded my scan out as far as it would go. Dozens more frames popped up all around. See-through through the walls, fanning out to such far-reaches: every single enemy on the floor showed up, just waiting to put up a fight against us.

I set my scans to stay in place until the monsters died. "That's…a lot of enemies."

"We will need crowd control," suggested Liara. "My biotic explosions should do nicely."

Legion readied its assault rifle. "We will dispatch the enemy with sustained fire."

Frowning in disappointment, Shepard didn't exactly have a solution to this problem.

I decided, "Liara, Legion, please handle the enemies for us. I'll send the automaton with you. Shepard and I will stay here. We'll activate the rune of transfer as soon as you complete the objective."

"Very well, Tali," said Liara. "Would you like us to split up?"

"Yes, it should be faster. I'll have to send the automaton with only one of you…"

Legion reminded me, "Although this VR game has given us a depletable health pool, this platform does not experience physical pain."

"Then we'll send the Soulsoother with Liara this time. Good luck, you two."

"Acknowledged."

I ordered our automaton to follow after Liara. It hurried after her, its footsteps clinking along. Liara and Legion both dispatched the enemies in the nearest room. Legion's sustained spray of assault rifle fire; Liara's charged biotics firing off as combos one after the other, eviscerating those machines with ease. Then they split off into separate rooms, doing the same again. Steadily, one by one, the orange scans I had up began to disappear. The enemies certainly put up a fight. But they couldn't quite penetrate Legion's bolstered geth shields, or Liara's powered-up kinetic barriers. I trusted they would both be fine.

Not wanting to sit around, Shepard put herself to work. She stayed at the rune with me, yes. But she did so with her sniper rifle. She aimed at the monsters well beyond us. Past the walls and nowhere near Liara or Legion's directions. Shepard dispatched the machines out there while staying in place with me. Using her Widow to shoot through walls, she helped speed up our objective considerably. She only stopped once Legion or Liara approached a room. She didn't want to risk accidentally shooting them.

Once the last enemy fell, the rune of transfer glowed in a swell of readiness.

I used the rune, teleporting each of us and our automaton to the next floor.

Floor two.

As random, once again, our objective was to defeat all enemies. Using my tactical scan, I found a similar story. Dozens and dozens of enemies clustered together in several rooms. Rooms spread out as an endless maze. I ordered Legion to go on ahead. But Liara needed a break. She wouldn't show it, yet her biotics had taxed her somewhat. Not enough to break out in a sweat. Enough to make me decide:

"You stay here, Liara. Get some rest. We'll tag-team."

"Okay, Tali. I will wait with Shepard. We will activate the rune once you and Legion finish the objective."

Raising its arm in conjury, our automaton boosted my personal shields, nearly doubling my protections.

I smiled at it again. "Thank you, little one. Let's get going."

With the Soulsoother following me this time, I went off to a room crowded with enemies. I quickly used my tech to stun-lock everything around me. Stunned and frozen, the machines remained in that vulnerable state. A few shots from my shotgun, and my disruptor ammo tore through their steel, melting them in a coagulated static of blue voltage. Anything that did manage to fire at me, my shields absorbed. I followed this routine all throughout my section of the floor, with Legion doing its thing on the other side. On occasion we would cross paths before going our separate ways again. Off in the distance, we heard the powerful booming shots of Shepard's sniper rifle putting in work for us.

Really, if not for my tactical scans lighting the way, I would have gotten lost by now.

Each of these rooms looked the same to me. The same colors, the same darkness, the same sense of foreboding everywhere. Even if they had different layouts, with walls boarded between or no walls as completely open courtyards, my surroundings had blended into one. Around every corner, another enemy waited to take me down. Or another group hoped to ambush me, not knowing I had this edge.

This almost felt like a hack, cheating in a way. Like an all-seeing eye for my entire group.

Floor ten.

More enemies.

More tag-teaming.

More random objectives with defeating certain enemies.

More and more, unending.

For this floor, we only needed to defeat the 'boss' enemies. The notorious monsters, as Legion had named them. We sent Shepard out to dispose of them unseen with her cloak. Meanwhile, Legion and Liara waited at the rune with me, regaining our energy. Even though we could handle the enemies on any floor, Nyzul Isle had proved itself more of a marathon. A true test of our endurance. Not necessarily from the enemies firing at us, as our protections had yet to fail us. Just the continuation. The repetition of this task. The constant reiteration of this ask, of asking us to jump through these familiar hoops. Familiar and shifting and a decimal off from what we already knew, what we had already done. Constantly having to adapt again. All while this overbearing energy bore down over our heads. Pressing down and downward, the same as gravity getting heavier and heavier, more obtrusive in these obscured rooms. Darkened and dreary, with only gilded brass and faint undersea blues outside to light our way.

Floor sixteen.

Finally, a serious shift. A significant change.

Sweat pouring thickly down my forehead, I checked our objective for this floor.

"We need to activate all lamps," I announced, using my tactical scan again. "Keelah, so many enemies in the way… The lamps are highlighted for us, at least. Shepard, do you think you could…?"

Perfectly focused, Shepard activated her tactical cloak. "I'm on it, Tali."

Stumped and unable to follow her invisible form, our automaton stayed with us. It sat down on the floor with me, seeming to share in my misery. Liara had leaned against the rune of transfer, watching Shepard go. Legion settled to a powered-down state, preserving energy. We couldn't keep going much longer.

"Maybe we should exit," I suggested. "After Shepard activates all of the lamps. Then we could come back in, continuing from where we left off."

Legion hesitated to admit, "Progress is only saved every five floors. Should we exit on floor sixteen, we will be forced to re-enter on floor fifteen."

"What?! So you're telling me we have to clear the objective on floor twenty, and then we can leave?"

"Yes…"

Liara sulked, "And if we somehow fail before then, we must completely start over on floor one…"

Downright exhausted, I leaned against Liara's shoulder for comfort. "We'll need to rely on Shepard to get us the rest of the way. And to think we have to get to the hundredth floor! Now I see why mythic weapons are so valuable. This would be impossible for any normal group…"

Glancing out the nearest window, Liara figured, "This must be taking us farther underwater. Down to the ocean's surface. Like a reversed, endless tower where each floor leads downward instead of up."

"You're right. I wonder who came up with this. They must be incredibly sadistic."

"It is certainly a worthy challenge for mercenaries chasing after glory and prestige…"

We watched from this safe distance as the marked lamps lit up one by one. Shepard snuck past every single enemy to get this done. She didn't need us for this.

I remembered, "Liara, maybe your joke about Shepard carrying us wasn't so silly. She's really doing it."

"For now," said Liara. "She cannot complete the objective to defeat all enemies. Not by herself. The machines would overwhelm her eventually. Not unless…she snipes each of them down one by one."

"That would take forever."

"Exactly. We will need to do our part to help her. As much as we can."

After a few more minutes, the rune of transfer lit up in a bloom of golden light.

Too tempted by the exit option.

I had to skip over it for now, taking us up one more floor.

Floor nineteen.

This fatigue.

A burning sensation in my limbs.

The taste of blood from my throat.

Taxing my mind and my skills both, with my tech powers pulling more weight than they should have.

Liara and I had had to take turns again on the floors before this. Defeating all enemies. Working with Legion to thin those endless ranks of machines. This out of control feeling, not knowing what to expect, yet at the same time, knowing exactly what to prepare for…

Some relief at another lamp floor. Activate all lamps. I used my tactical scan as usual, highlighting them.

Shepard continued on without needing an order from me.

Miserable together, Legion and Liara stayed with me at the rune of transfer. Our automaton took pity on us once again. Although, I did enjoy its quiet company. We couldn't have gotten this far without its help.

I worried more over Shepard taking so long to reach the lamps.

Getting a better look, I noticed there was really only one lamp. Way on the other end of the floor.

Then we heard Shepard's voice over our radio, "Hey…"

That didn't sound good.

"Yes, Shepard?" I responded.

"So when I activated this lamp, it said, 'Your certification code has been registered.' I touched it again, and now it keeps saying, 'The certification code for all party members is required to activate this lamp.'"

"Oh, no. There's a mountain of enemies on the way there. Don't tell me…"

Liara heaved a sigh. "We will all need to manually activate the lamp. To register our individual codes. Then we will have to find our way back to the rune of transfer. Otherwise we won't be able to proceed."

Knowing the same, Legion only lowered its head, its energy reserves in this VR game nearly drained.

"Sit tight for now. I'll clear a path."

"Thank you, Commander…"

We listened as Shepard sniped down those enemies. The enemies standing between us and the single lamp—way, way, way over there on the other side from us. Liara helped me stand up. Legion had prepared itself to make this final stretch. Or maybe not. We still needed to deal with whatever awaited on the 20th floor. For twenty out of one hundred, I figured this next floor would have something special.

I used my tactical scan to keep track of the rune of transfer. We couldn't afford to get lost on the way back. Meanwhile, our automaton followed us down the path Shepard had cleared for us. One by one we reached her location at the lamp. As we touched the object, it registered our individual codes. Then Shepard escorted us back to the rune. Up one floor we went. One more as our final limit for the day.

Floor twenty.

Unsurprising, we arrived to the entrance of an arena room. Only a large notorious monster waited on the other side. A gigantic, mechanical creature lumbered around out there, its footsteps rumbling through the room. A hound-like, three-headed beast. Cerberus?

A single shot from Shepard's sniper rifle felled the machine. As soon as it collapsed, the rune lit up.

I exited the instance with a quickness.

Once we reappeared in the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins, Shepard took stock of us. Liara could have remained standing. She had sat on the ground with me, holding my head to her chest. She could have continued on. She could have kept going. Legion had freed itself from the constraints of the game, yet it had still showed some signs of wear and tear beyond the instanced server. We couldn't go on now.

Without a word, we all decided to return to the hotel.

The rest of the dungeon could wait until tomorrow.

Crossing the Nyzul Isle Staging Point, we all used the runic portal, taking us back to the safety of the city.

As soon as I made it back to my hotel room, I crashed on the bed and passed out.

Liara slept beside me for a little while. Just to rest up. I envied her endurance, especially as a biotic. I had the strangest dreams about juice. The fruit juice Liara would always have to drink whenever she overexerted her biotics. Shepard had always conveniently had a canteen ready for her. So of course I saw her in my dreams, too. Her and Liara together again. The hearts, these fluttering feelings. So lovely.

Yet all throughout my nap, my omni-tool kept going off with alerts.

I ignored them for a while. Until I remembered:

The rest of the team would be on Rannoch tonight. Joker, EDI, Kaidan and the others. They would join us at the hotel, and then go sightseeing together tomorrow during the day. I worried about having so many non-quarians and non-geth in one place. But no one had harassed us over our clear status as outsiders. If anyone was going to be a target, it should have been me. Yet everything seemed safe enough so far.

By the time I opened my eyes again, night had already fallen upon Whitegate.

Only a drizzle of rain tonight. The ethereal glow of the city lights glimmered through the downpour.

I stared out to the window in a daze for a while. Only until Liara entered the room. Still kind of out of it, I hadn't noticed she'd left. She came over this way with a smile, holding a meal for me in her hands.

"Hello, sleepyhead," she teased, handing me my unglamorous dinner. "I'm glad you're awake now."

"Thank you, Liara," I said, sitting up to sip this straw. "Did you sleep for very long?"

"Not really. I was too excited to sleep. The rest of the team have already checked in to the hotel. We will all stay here until it is time to leave for the STG base on Sur'Kesh. Wrex is still waiting to hear back from his contact. He and the others are in the common room down the hall, if you would like to see them."

"I do want to see them. Were you just excited about that? Seeing them again?"

Liara gave me such a coy smile.

"Oh," I said, understanding all. "You mean Shepard. How is everything going with her?"

"Better than I expected. We had a wonderful talk this morning over brunch. That single discussion changed so much for us! Or at least for me."

"Hmm, what's changed since then?"

"It is difficult to describe. This is more of a feeling than anything tangible. I never felt as if I could speak my mind with Shepard before. Not without risks. I always feared I would say the wrong thing. Maybe I would offend her, or make her angry, or scare her off. I feel as though Shepard has moved away from her typical reactions. She is finally giving me the benefit of the doubt. I do not have to censor myself."

"Yes, that does sound very freeing," I agreed. "It's an important change she's made. Specifically for you."

"Quite the miraculous change. I am looking forward to rewarding her soon. Shepard is in the common room with everyone else. Would you like to join us now? Or do you need more time to wake up?"

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I relented, "I'll go now. If I stay here, I'll just fall asleep again."

Plus, this excitement about Liara felt oddly contagious. I felt myself smiling with her as we left down the hallway. Not the subtlest of guests, already I heard the sounds of everyone enjoying their time in the common room. Dark industrial music blasting, the team's laughter and conversation reverberated all around. I suddenly felt a bout of nerves settling in my stomach. No one other than Shepard and Liara—and Legion now—had ever seen my actual face. I really hoped they wouldn't make a big deal out of this.

The moment we reached the room, my eyes scanned the area for Shepard.

Past the group of my friends drinking together on the couch, I saw her there.

Well on the other side of the room. Sipping a glass of wine as she sat in her seat. Ego and confidence in the night, she kept my attention without trying. She didn't notice me, but I obviously noticed her. Even as the others began to stir, observing me. Wrex, Garrus, Joker, Kaidan—none of them seemed to recognize my face. They pondered and wondered about me. EDI smiled in knowing, choosing not to say anything yet. Jack was too busy picking out her next bottle of alcohol from the corner stash. I didn't see Legion or Samara anywhere. Not part of the clique yet, Cortez and Traynor must have stayed on the Normandy.

Joker waved us over. "Hey, Liara! Who's the quarian hottie you brought? Is she single?"

Liara laughed with ease. "Don't be silly, Joker. This is Tali. I told you she wouldn't have her mask on."

"TALI?!"

Slack-jawed, the guys all stared at me in awe. Jack soon joined in, making this far too awkward for me.

I still told them, "Hi, everyone."

They recognized my voice for sure.

"No fucking way!"

"DUDE."

"Oh… Oh—oh, wow."

"What?! You're kidding!"

Such booming laughter from Wrex to top it all off.

"Hello, Tali," said EDI. "I have observed a marked difference between the quarians on Rannoch and the quarians from the Migrant Fleet. The ones here have no need for environmental suits. They had clearly stayed behind on this planet following the Morning War. It appears you have successfully blended in."

"Yes, there's quite the divide," I answered. "It's complicated. Please just pretend I'm one of them."

"Of course. I can imagine conflicts would quickly escalate. We will do our best to remain discreet."

"Discreet?!" yelled Joker. "EDI, are you not seeing this? We've had another bombshell on the team this whole time! This is way more important!"

Kaidan coughed in awkwardness. "Err, I mean… Tali, you sure are beautiful. I'm—I'm really shocked! But, but not because I assumed you weren't! I just…didn't know what to assume? Like I never pictured how you actually looked beneath your mask. For some reason, it didn't occur to me. Probably for the best."

"Good one, Alenko," teased Wrex. "Next you're gonna ask Tali to date you."

"I, uh… Wait, what? Wrex, you're pulling my leg. Why would I do that? I don't have the right plumbing."

Garrus snapped out of his daze. "Plumbing…? What's that have to do with anything? Pipes, water?"

"Umm…"

"Anyway," I said in sarcasm. "You're all very sweet—the perfect gentlemen—but you already know I'm not interested. Can we please just move on? I don't want you treating me differently because of this."

"Sorry, Tali," offered Kaidan.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Won't happen again."

Joker admitted, "Yeah, we got carried away. But like, can you blame us?!"

Liara frowned at him in sternness. "Joker."

"Okay, okay! I'll drop it! Will you both sit down? We wanted to ask you something!"

Curious now, I sat with Liara on the couch. "Ask us what?"

Leaning in, Kaidan lowered his voice to a secretive hush. "So you know Christmas is coming up later this month, right? The Earth holiday. Presents, snowy pine trees, the gift of giving. Well, we wanted to do something to celebrate this year. You know, with the whole team. Now that we're all together again."

"Yeah, it'll be fun," promised Joker. "We never got to do anything like this before. It's special this time."

Liara hummed in intrigue. "Yes, that does sound fun. What did you have in mind for us?"

EDI explained, "Kaidan and Jeff suggested we participate in the Christmas tradition of Secret Santa. Members of the team would be randomly assigned to one another. We would each give a gift to our assignee. However, our identities are to remain a secret. If for example Garrus was assigned to give a gift to Jack, he would not make his identity known to her. We would all have to keep our secrets."

"I like that," I said. "We should do it! But why are we whispering about this?"

Wrex thumbed in Shepard's direction. "Word on the street is the commander might not let us play."

Kaidan smiled, clarifying, "Shepard's not exactly a fan of the holidays. We need her permission, though. This isn't something we can just do behind her back. Not while we're on the ship and everything."

Joker added, "She's probably gonna be a total grump about it. That's why we need you to convince her."

Liara disagreed, "It would be best if we all asked her. If it was only Tali and me, she would know."

"Ugh, you're right. Well, it's gotta be soon. Like maybe after the next mission, we should all ask."

"Good idea," I approved. "I'm sure she'll say yes once she sees how much we all want this."

As the group buzzed with excitement over this Secret Santa thing, I took a look around.

Garrus had withdrawn into himself. He listened to the conversation. But he didn't seem all there. I didn't have to ask him about it. I already knew. He specifically avoided eye contact with me, even knowing my concerns. So he didn't want to talk about it. A simple talk wouldn't have changed anything between us.

Then I noticed Jack had disappeared from the room. She'd escaped to the balcony outside. I saw shapes of glimmering gray puffing out there. Glimmering puffs of smoke.

Going out to investigate, I found Jack sitting on a chair. Crimson eyes glazed over, she stared out to the view of the city, smoking something in her hand. It didn't look like a cigarette or any drugs I'd ever seen. The tip burned completely black. The smoke itself smelled soft and sweet. A candy-like pixie dust.

"Jack, what is that?" I asked.

Blowing out more smoke, Jack replied, "It's this asari stuff I found earlier. Black velvet."

"Black velvet?"

"It's like weed, but it doesn't smell like shit."

"Is it a drug?"

"Yeah. It's lightweight stuff. Nowhere near what I used to trip on back in the day."

"Won't Shepard get angry if she finds out? You promised you'd stop for the mission."

"That's why I'm sneaking it. Kinda had the shock of my life back there. I needed a hit of something to chill out. Otherwise I was gonna lose my mind. Gotta finish it now before Dad finds me and I'm busted."

Admittedly naïve, I had to know, "What shocked you? What's the matter?"

Jack gave me a heated look, the smoke from her mouth billowing out along the bends of the breeze.

Oh…

Sighing in irritation, she ordered, "Will you sit down already? I don't want anyone seeing you through the door. I have to pretend like I'm not even out here."

I took the seat across from her.

Not too close for precautionary reasons. Though Jack seemed to take it personally, frowning just so.

She still offered me the black velvet in her hand. "Wanna try?"

I shook my head. "I've never done anything like this before. I'd rather not start now."

"Then how 'bout a shotgun instead?"

"A shotgun?"

"Yeah, I take a hit, keep the smoke, then blow it into your mouth. You know, like firing a shotgun."

Crinkling my face, I laughed in an amused discomfort. "That sounds disgusting."

"Which part?" asked Jack, offended.

"The smoke," I appeased.

This silence from her.

Far more uncomfortable than the thought of a shotgun.

She gripped the drug triangled between her index finger, middle finger and thumb, fading it to black.

"Jack…"

"I don't wanna hear it, Tali."

"Why are you angry at me? Is this because I actually have a face? A real face? Is that it?"

"You know how I'm relapsing right now?" she said, meaning the smoking. "It's the same thing."

I folded my arms in defiance. "Well, I don't know what to tell you. Do you expect me to apologize?"

"No, don't fucking apologize. Then again, now that you mention it, I do have something to say to you."

"Fine," I allowed. "Let's hear it. What do you have to say, Jack?"

"I know you don't even think about me. I'm not a priority to you. Being around you flares up my abandonment issues like crazy. But I put up with it, 'cause in a way, you're all I have left. I lost my real friends after the last mission. I don't have anyone like that anymore. I don't have anyone. Just you."

This look on my face—

How I had never considered this about her before. Not once.

Smoking the last of her forced-calm, Jack soured over the obvious.

"I don't want you feeling sorry for me," she continued. "If I really wanted to, I know I could go cry to Shepard or whatever. She'd listen to my sob stories. That's not the kind of relationship we have, though. The commander's a giant teddy bear at heart, but she still expects me to keep my shit together. She believes in me. So I gotta live up to her expectations. It's hard to do when I feel so alone all the time."

"I'm sorry," I apologized anyway. "I had no idea you felt like this. You have Joker and the others. You're part of the team. You're one of us. That's why it never occurred to me. It's not that I don't care about you. We've always had a strange friendship, you and I. We couldn't talk about these things before."

"Kinda always felt like you were avoiding me."

"It was complicated."

"Complicated, right."

Using her omni-tool, Jack burned the rest of her drug. The ashes spilled down to the floor of the balcony.

I hated hearing this pain in her voice.

I heated seeing the bewilderment, the resentment mixing in her stare.

I hated making her believe this was all her fault. As if she wasn't good enough for me. Abandonments.

My own secrets had caused these reactions in her.

So many secrets I had sworn never to reveal. Not to Jack, not to Liara.

The severity of my secrets wrapped around me in this moment. Tightening and tightening. Like barbed wire cinching around my head. Especially around my mouth. Thorns and tearing against my lips, digging down into my tongue. This memory of my dice game with Shepard the other day, how I could have revealed all to her: hedged on a 50/50 bet. Bleeding so much harder in this need for release in truth.

Right now, sitting here before Jack's anger…

I couldn't tell her.

I couldn't let the truth escape me.

Terrifying, humiliating. I kept picturing Jack's disapproval. Calling me a freak. Telling me to get a real life.

So I allowed the moment, the opportunity to pass us by. I allowed her to keep believing in these lies.

"Anyway," she said in sarcasm this time. "I wanted to ask. Aren't you jealous of your BFF Liara?"

The only honesty I could give: "Yes, I am… I'm insanely jealous of her. But I shouldn't get greedy." Narrowing her eyes in confusion, Jack didn't quite understand what I meant. She didn't need to know. "I'm not sure if you heard about my quest. I'm trying to obtain a mythic weapon. This will allow me to speak with the empress here in Whitegate. I could really use your help—if you're up for the challenge."

"Yeah, I'm down. I need to blow off some more steam."

"Thanks, Jack. I'll message you tomorrow once it's time to leave."

"Yep."

By her false-pleasant tone, I got the hint well enough. She wanted her space away from me now.

I slipped back inside the common room.

Back in this noise of music and conversation, I blended in as normal, as nothing remarkable.

Wrex, Joker, Kaidan, and EDI kept on speaking together on the couch, laughing and messing around. Garrus had already left for the night. Across the way, Liara sat with Shepard. Shepard kept her hand along Liara's waist, and Liara leaned against her in a full, devoted attention. The two of them drank their wine. Their special wine. All with this vibe between them. Laidback energy. Two attractive people, so hot together, so magnetic together. The chemistry they shared didn't shout to the rooftops, yet once I spotted it, I couldn't look away. Even more once Liara whispered something in Shepard's ear, and Shepard responded to her, making Liara giggle in such a sweet and sexed allure. Completely in love.

Blinking back my tears, I escaped out to the hall before anyone noticed me. I hurried back to my room.

Back to my room for this temporary solitude. Alone but never lonely, indulging in my substitutes of her.

The next day, we had to repeat the process of signing Jack up to be a mercenary, and then physically walking to the Nyzul Isle Staging Point with her. I didn't mind it so much. Jack gave off this needed energy. Raring and ready to go. Ready to do this. By contrast, I had no idea what I gave off myself. But I kept Shepard's attention as we walked along with Liara, Jack, and Legion. Again through the Bhaflau Thickets, and once again through the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins. Shepard walked next to me the entire time. I could tell she worried about me. She wanted to ask what I had on my mind. She obviously cared.

I didn't want to deal with reality right now. Not today. Not like this.

Soon enough we re-entered the virtual reality of Nyzul Isle.

We continued on from where we'd left off before.

With my progress saved, Jack had no troubles coming up with us. Up to the 21st floor.

We returned to this grueling repetition of these floors. These random objectives. These expected, mini-armies of enemies in our way. The kindness of our automaton guiding us; the same one as before. Jack gave us the edge we needed in thinning out enemy ranks more consistently. She had no troubles charging through entire groups on her own, wiping them out in seconds. With Jack tag-teaming with Liara and me, the three of us had more time to rest. Legion had found a way to work with its own constraints, suddenly faced with stamina issues in this game, despite never getting tired in real life. And Shepard, stellar as always, filled in for whatever else we lacked. She soloed the lamps wherever she could. She took out the notorious monster leaders on her own. She kept on one-shotting the bigger boss enemies on every 20th floor. Up to the 40th, the 60th, the 80th floor. Our teamwork got us to floor 100.

After defeating the final enemy, it dropped the vigil weapon I needed. The Quicksilver gun. The gun that eventually would transform into the powerful Death Penalty I sought after. We still had a bit more to go.

Checking my progress tracker, I received directions to get to a place called Nashmau.

We took a different ferry from Whitegate, arriving to the merchant's town. Nashmau belonged to those qiqirn people, most of whom thrived as merchants. They hadn't updated the town like Whitegate, keeping the same humble appearance from centuries past. More stone and brass than anything else, with winding staircases and protective ramparts everywhere. Each staircase led up to a mini-island of shops selling everything from food to tech and weapon upgrades. Many mercenaries browsed their wares before heading back to the ferry, or exiting Nashmau through the town's heavily-guarded gates.

A thick, eerie fog resided over the town, likely emanating from whatever awaited outside those gates. This fog chilled me to the bone. Even as the friendly qiqirn manned their shops and walked from place to place. Even as these mercenaries wandered about in confidence, used to this murkiness by now.

Passing through the town, we needed to find one qiqirn in particular. The honorary imperial officer named Paparoon. This Paparoon supposedly had special ties to the imperial palace. He was in charge of collecting items for the mythic quest, and then offering them as gifts to Empress Nash'Meira.

We found Paparoon idling in a hallway of brass and wood, burrowed beneath Nashmau's upper floor. Several other mercenaries also hung around this area, leading me to believe we'd found the right person. The tiny Paparoon, decked-out in beautiful blue and gold jewels, found me in excitement. His pointy ears stuck out from his rather shoddy hood, raised in joy as he gazed up at me. His long snout had the sweetest pink nose, twitching on occasion. And his big, bright green eyes held an unusual, black slit down the middle, almost like cat eyes. Those eyes found me in recognition, as if he knew me personally.

"Yooo! You be the Tali'Zorah Paparoon been hearing about! This is the right, yes?"

"Um, yes," I approved. "Hello, Paparoon. You've heard of me already?"

"Yes!" said Paparoon, hopping up and down in enthusiasm. "I'm the Paparoon. Big general of the empire! I've been waiting for you, Tali'Zorah. Catch yous off-guard, did I? Qiqirn in the army! Best thing to happen since sliced cheese!"

Jack snorted in derision. "What's with this little guy? He's seriously a general?"

"Maybe," humored Shepard.

"It would seem so," said Liara, more convinced than the rest of us.

Legion corrected, "Paparoon oversees the upgrading of vigil weapons to mythic weapons. He is loosely affiliated with the Imperial Ward as an honorary officer."

"Anywhooo," continued Paparoon. "The empress asked me special to come and make sure you finish mythic quest. Tali'Zorah gots help from Tahlia'Zorah! Rare, maybe impossible. Better keep secret, yes? Many mercenaries get angry if they find out. First mythic weapon in few days? Not heard of, nope!"

I agreed, "No, I didn't plan on announcing this. I have the vigil weapon now. My progress tracker told me to speak with you next. What else do we have to do?"

"Check off next duties! Check tracker and ask Paparoon for informations now!"

"Okay, let's see… There's a book I need. A copy of Wyrmseeker Areuhat, purchasable with 150,000 tokens from Nyzul Isle. I barely have 30,000 tokens after clearing the hundredth floor earlier…"

"The empress wants that you should find a pretty book. Lotsa pretty pictures inside. Pretty story about somebody named Areuhat out looking for dragons. Paparoon heard story once, but forgot how it goes. Something about…nope, I forgets. What's empress want story for? Maybe empress likes pretty pictures, too. But I dunno… No worry, Tali'Zorah. Paparoon check off this task. All done with Tahlia'Zorah!"

As confirmation, the task crossed itself out on my tracker, as if I had completed it already.

"Paparoon take care of things!" he said in delight. "What next?"

I found the next item: "I would have had to finish all fifty Assaults again. Or for the first time, I don't know. I didn't have to do any of them at all. So that's done."

"Yes, special Assault memos for empress. Proof of adventures for her! Made up proof now."

Very convenient. "All right, then what is the holy relic I needed?"

Paparoon explained, "The Balrahn's eyepatch from Einherjar! Balrahn old hero of Aht Urhgan. He only had one eye. Missing eyehole not good or shiny, so he covered with eyepatch, yes? Eyepatch he wear now holy treasure. Very valuable, and empress say she wants! Paparoon don't know what purpose nasty old eyepatch can do. Not even shiny… Needed 100,000 points from battling Einherjar to buy eyepatch."

"Einherjar," repeated Liara. "What exactly is it?"

"Battle arena with monsters! Tougher than Nyzul Isle. Tougher getting to Einherjar in Hazhalm Testing Grounds. Have to travel through spooky Caedarva Mire outside Nashmau! Toughest battle getting inside arena with group. Tahlia'Zorah suffer for Tali'Zorah years ago. No more suffering. Einherjar done."

Again the task completed itself in my progress tracker.

"Then the last thing," I said. "These pieces of Alexandrite gems. What are these about?"

"Alexandrite! Oooh, that's the stuff. Shinies! They says those stones be tiny, tiny pieces of a god named Alex something or other. Alexander? Big automaton in Alzadaal Undersea Ruins! Secret experiment long ago to protect empire! You had to bring Paparoon 30,000 of those, yes?"

Liara faltered. "You mean we would have had to collect 30,000 pieces of jewels to bring to you?"

"Yes!" confirmed Paparoon. "I dunno what all those shinies are for. I'm just a messenger, you know?"

Shepard remembered, "There's always people in town shouting about Alexandrite. Looking to buy. They usually want to pay 8,000 per piece. I'm guessing 8,000 in imperial currency. That adds up to…"

Not knowing how much, Paparoon drooped his long, pointy ears as he slumped over. "Sooorry, Paparoon not too bright…"

Legion quickly did the calculations. "The solution is 8,000 multiplied by 30,000. It is 240,000,000."

"What?!" I blurted. "You mean 240,000,000 in currency? I only have two million on me as my inheritance from Tahlia! There's no way I would've been able to afford that on my own!"

"Fuck that," scoffed Jack. "Just tell us it's done already."

"All done!" promised Paparoon. "President Naja credits all 30,000 shinies to Tali'Zorah. Now you done all jobs empress ask for! Empress very happy. Paparoon a little bit shocked! Forget last time mercenary had lots and lots of help from ancestor. Hard work passes down generations on Rannoch! The empire wants to thank you for your hard work, Tali'Zorah and friends! Here, then. This for you, yes?"

Paparoon handed me what looked like a sealed invitation.

"It special, shiny invitation from honorary officer Paparoon. Tali'Zorah take that and head to big white gate in town, yes? Talk to guard to see empress. Empress Nash'Meira already waiting to meet you. Other people there will exchange Quicksilver for Death Penalty gun. Leaden Salute shot is worth it!"

"Thank you so much, Paparoon," I told him. "We'll head back to Whitegate now. Take care!"

"Bye, Tali'Zorah! Good luck with travels!"

Fit to burst, I barely contained myself as we headed back to Whitegate.

This late in the evening, I didn't expect the empress to speak with me. Still she awaited my presence.

Right outside the Imperial Whitegate manned by several guards, I stopped with my team.

Shepard, Liara, Jack, and Legion looked to me.

I couldn't have done this without them.

"Thanks for all your help, everyone. I should go and speak with the empress now. You go on ahead."

Shepard asked, "You sure you don't want us to wait for you?"

"No, that's okay. I have no idea how long I'll be in there for. I don't want to make you sit around for me."

"If you insist," said Liara with a smile. "We will head back to the hotel now. I'll message you later on."

I waved goodbye to everyone as they left. Heading through the Way of the Devout, I watched as they blended into the crowd of mercenaries around. Before she disappeared, Shepard turned to look at me one last time. By the gentleness in her eyes, I could tell: she just wanted to make sure I would be safe on my own. Still smiling, I waved to her again. She seemed satisfied enough, vanishing as one with the city.

Turning back to the Imperial Whitegate, I readied myself to head inside.

After showing my invitation to the guards, they opened the gate. They escorted me through the Imperial Ward to the palace court. An abundance of gold and brass treasures, and sturdy columns, and paintings, and expensive tapestries defined the palace. And so much space, as if the ceiling itself extended high up to the sky, up to the heavens themselves. I felt so meager in this decadence, guided on by these guards, their armored footsteps reverberating upward. We passed by several courtiers of the empress: both quarians and geth, the organics dressed in their treasure-like outfits of golds, violets, and reds. Most of them headed toward a larger gathering within a dining hall, not too far from where the guards led me. I expected Empress Nash'Meira would head there for dinner after our meeting, holding court afterward.

Within the throne room, a long, wide carpet of a brass-like color adorned the ground. Endless vases, urns, and paintings decorated the area. Flanking the carpet, a few imperial officers stood in a line together, nearest to the throne itself. The throne with a handful of steps. The throne where the empress sat…completely obscured by fabrics. Veils of a pearly white with serpent-like patterns of violet and gold.

I couldn't see Empress Nash'Meira at all.

Still I sensed her presence there. Maybe she could still see me from behind those veils, somehow.

The foremost imperial officer awaited at the foot of the steps. Dressed in a uniform of rich reds, whites, and golds, the quarian took me by surprise. He looked somewhat young in the face. Yet he held himself with the poise and experience of a seasoned military general.

"Good evening, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy," said the imperial officer. "My name is Razfahd. I am the Grand Vizier of the Empire of Aht Urhgan. It is my duty to carry out the will of the empress. I am in charge of all military matters across the empire. Our Serpentking Generals all report to me."

Something in his tone betrayed a mistrust toward me.

Something in his slight glare gave away the same.

"Good evening, Grand Vizier," I replied anyway, not knowing if I should bow or kneel.

An alluring, gossamer-smooth tone emerged from behind the veil, "That voice…"

Shocked at the empress' reaction, Razfahd turned to her direction. "Sister, you were supposed to wait! What does her voice matter for? This mercenary is an outsider! We need to contain the threat!"

The empress spoke on unobstructed: "We understand your concerns, dear brother. As ever, you are too hot-headed. You are much too fond of jumping to conclusions. You do not see what we see. This outsider is no threat. Of that we can assure you. We will clarify the importance of Tali'Zorah's distinctive voice soon enough. For now, Razfahd, you will heed our wishes. Heed the wishes of the empire."

The grand vizier sighed in frustration. "Then I will get to the point, Tali'Zorah. We have had eyes on you and your people ever since you first arrived to Rannoch. You may have guessed that we are off the grid here on the homeworld. That does not mean our world leaders are ignorant to affairs across the galaxy."

"Then…you know who I am?" I asked.

"I know you recently became a Spectre. The Council has sent you here. I had assumed your purpose was to meddle in our affairs. To garner sympathy for that mass of zombie vessels you call the Migrant Fleet. It appears your Pilgrimage here is one of learning and observation. You are not a missionary, are you?"

"Absolutely not, Grand Vizier. It's like you said. I'm here to learn and observe. I may have been born into the Migrant Fleet, but they've abandoned me. I'm an outsider even to them. I mean you no harm."

"As we expected," said Empress Nash'Meira. "Brother, we urge you to show our guest more respect. She is no ordinary mercenary. Does her name not sound familiar to you? If not, you have been neglecting your history studies. We disapprove."

Razfahd fought not to stammer in embarrassment. "I… I recognize the clan name, of course. The Zorah clan has a long history of dedicated service to the empire. There are no records of their existence on Rannoch today. That is why…our guest's importance may have slipped my mind. Who is she?"

The empress laughed softly. "Our guest's ancestor is Tahlia'Zorah vas Vanaspati. Court puppet master and an esteemed engineer for the empire. Remove the veil from the Immortal's art on the far wall."

Razfahd stared at me in a stunned silence.

How did she know that from my voice and not simply my name?

Another servant in the room went to carry out Nash'Meira's request.

Behind that veil hung a large painting with a frame of glimmering gold. I stepped closer to the work of art, getting a better look. There I found a portrait of…a woman who looked just like me. I had the same eyes as her. The same smile on her face. And the differences. The wrapped fabric around her head, made of the same cloth from my old suit, the one I'd earned after finishing my Pilgrimage. The exact same material passed down over generations from my mother's side of the family. She also had one of those adorable automatons at her side. A puppet master's best friend. Kneeling at her other side was a mysterious, elegantly-dressed man in various shades of blue and black fabrics. A long, curved scimitar hung from his side, marking him as a member of the military. The elegance of his uniform reminded me of a blue mage. The Immortals, the quarian biotics who'd served Empress Nash'Meira across several centuries. None of whom I had seen in this modern day. Not one.

Grand Vizier Razfahd clarified for me, "This is Tahlia'Zorah and her husband, Captain Raubahn. The Empress Nash'Meira of their time commissioned this before the pair moved away to Thavnair. Captain Raubahn was once derided for his obedient devotion to his wife. They would claim she had emasculated him and such. But the captain never gave in to the ridicule. He served his wife Tahlia with love undying until his last breath. Raubahn was also Captain of the Immortals. The Immortals my predecessors commanded in years' past. The Immortals that are no more today. His legend lives on through you."

"What happened to the Immortals?" I wondered. "I haven't seen any blue mages during my time here."

The empress supplied, "You will not find any blue mages within the Empire of Aht Urhgan. On the Isle of Thavnair, however, the situation is different. Please return to our side. We wish to enlighten you."

Taking my place nearer to the empress' veil, I decided on my manners.

Kneeling before her, I felt a swell of historical meaning. How my bloodline practically belonged here.

"Thank you, Tali'Zorah," said Nash'Meira. "As mentioned, your ancestors moved to the Isle of Thavnair. During this time, Tahlia and Raubahn settled down in the town of Vanaspati, not too far from the Thavnairian capital of Radz-at-Han. However, as the pair grew older, Tahlia became increasingly aware of the dangers her husband faced. Blue mages were once afflicted with an unknown ailment that caused them to transform into beasts in their old age. If not in their old age, then they would do so as a violent reaction to any severe emotions they faced. The Immortal could fend it off with stoicism, but eventually, they would transform. There was no cure for this horrible curse at the time. Death was the only option."

"I see… Did my ancestor search for a cure for her husband's curse?"

"She did indeed. Tahlia had her eye on Thavnair due to their proficiency with alchemy and medicine. She believed a cure awaited there, as opposed to the empire's strict focus on technology. Tahlia initially contributed her expertise to Radz-at-Han's prince, the satrap. Her tireless work led Radz-at-Han to better merge engineering with medicine, substantially improving the city's medical facilities. The isle's alchemists then discovered a cure thanks to these improvements. Raubahn's affliction safely vanished. Then the word got out, leading more blue mages to travel to Thavnair. Not all of them left at once."

"Then what was the turning point?"

"The turning point did not arrive until several years later. For centuries, the empire had kept the truth of this ailment a secret. If an Immortal was discovered to be cursed, he would be quietly led to the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins, and executed as a mercy before he transformed. If it was too late, and his corruption was imminent, then the afflicted would be cast out to the Arrapago Reef or the Caedarva Mire. The corrupted blue mages would be unrecognizable as fearsome beastmen. They haunted these areas of the empire. They terrorized any mercenaries they came across, leaving a chilling death count in their wake. But one day, a young Immortal fell into sudden despair in the middle of Al Zahbi. He became corrupted, transforming for all to see. This reveal shocked the population. Our predecessor Nash'Meira had no choice but to banish all blue mages from the realm. She then permanently dismantled the Immortals."

"I'm guessing this move wasn't a peaceful one."

"Not at all," replied the empress. "It was a bloody rebellion. The former Immortals fought back. Their families fought alongside them. Their mercenary companions also joined the fray. Even the Immortals' closest allies in the imperial army turned against the empire, siding with the biotics. Some call it the Evening War for the poignant similarities to what our ancestors did to the geth. We believe this was the catalyst that eventually splintered our synthetic allies into separate factions. One faction remained peaceful, while the other became heretics alongside Saren Arterius. Our actions had alarmed them."

"That's terrible. But it puts things into perspective. Did the surviving biotics leave to Thavnair?"

"Yes, but the move came with consequences. Radz-at-Han's satrap decried the empire's treatment of the biotics. In accepting the blue mage refugees, including their families and friends, Thavnair ended all trade with Aht Urhgan. Our closest trading partner and cultural ally became our sworn enemy overnight. Our nations have remained at-odds ever since."

"You never went to war with Thavnair?" I asked. "Maybe after tensions had escalated with the empire?"

More familiar with these matters, the grand vizier chimed in, "The Isle of Thavnair once had a rather humble contingent of soldiers. The Radiant Host were sworn to protect the satrap, their prince. They were stationed around the island in decent numbers, but nothing that could rival the imperial army at the time. Since embracing the Evening War refugees, their forces have since exploded. Radz-at-Han now employs a fearsome army of well-trained biotics. They still call themselves the Immortals in Alzadaal's name. This is the one thing that still unifies our two nations. It would be unwise for us to attack them."

Empress Nash'Meira sounded hopeful: "We wonder if you will be a different catalyst, Tali'Zorah. A catalyst for our enemy nations to find peace with one another. You have the rare gift of possessing strong ties to both Aht Urhgan and Thavnair. This cannot be a simple coincidence."

I admitted, "Well, I don't know about that. My ancestors are the ones with these close ties. Not me."

"You should know the power of ancestry among our people. Your accomplishments as a mercenary speak for themselves. We have no doubt you inherited your brilliance from both Tahlia and Raubahn."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that, Empress Nash'Meira. You really don't consider me an outsider?"

Razfahd spoke for his sister, "It was too easy to misjudge you, Tali'Zorah. Even as one with firsthand knowledge of how the galaxy views us. I may have gone on a Pilgrimage of my own to attest to this."

The grand vizier himself had explored the galaxy?

"It wasn't a pleasant experience," he went on. "I took a geth ship at first, then transferred to an unassuming vessel, and headed to the Citadel. I donned one of those horrible, limiting environmental suits for the journey. I masqueraded as a quarian from the Migrant Fleet on Pilgrimage, blending in that way. No one had any reason to suspect anything. Frustratingly enough, everyone was content to dismiss me as a suit rat not worthy of their time. Those prejudices from other races came in handy for staying invisible. But it only worsened my view of the Fleet. I wasn't willing to listen to my sister's insistence."

"Grand Vizier, I can't excuse what our ancestors did to the geth. You can't excuse what your own ancestors did to those biotics. Not all of us are the same. I opened my eyes a great deal once I arrived to Rannoch for the first time. I'm sure many from the Flotilla would do the same, if given the chance."

"We believe you, Tali'Zorah," said Nash'Meira. "Yet we also understand the Migrant Fleet is embroiled in a civil conflict. They are divided over the matter of warring against the geth. Unfortunately, if they do turn their guns against the geth, the empire will have no choice but to defend our synthetic allies. If there is any way for us to avoid bloodshed, we will gladly do so. The Reapers are the greater threat."

"I'm relieved to hear that. That you're willing to accept peace between us. Even if it does seem futile."

"The most peaceful option may yet be far-off. However, the empire has not forgotten her roots. We are gods bound by rules. We must use our power responsibly. Wiping out the Migrant Fleet would shatter the rules we are bound by—despite how we may personally feel toward their kind. And then there is you, Tali'Zorah."

The doors to the throne room opened.

A pair of footsteps thudded along the carpet behind me, approaching.

The empress declared, "We could not be more pleased by your feats, both within the empire and without. As a mercenary and a Spectre. As a descendant of Rannoch; as one so close to Commander Shepard. We wish to present you with a token of our appreciation. Master of Ceremonies, if you would."

A hooded man accepted my vigil weapon from me, exchanging it with this gun.

Such a beautifully crafted, high-caliber mythic weapon, shining in browns and golds.

"Tali'Zorah," said the hooded man. "In accordance with the will of Her Imperial Majesty, the empire wishes to bestow upon you this gift. Our mythic weapons are the true 'Treasures of Aht Urhgan.' As are our valiant heroes who have toiled so bravely to earn these weapons. In recognition of your services, Empress Nash'Meira grants you this Death Penalty. You continue to honor us with your excellence."

"Thank you so much," I replied, accepting the Death Penalty in my hands. "It's stunning!"

Razfahd looked on at me in pride. "The Death Penalty is well-known for doling out a swift and fatal retribution to one's foes. It once belonged to the legendary corsair, Luzaf the Blackheart. It is said Luzaf sank numerous battleships with the gun's sheer destructive force—the ultimate sniper's shot, Leaden Salute. Although, many more trials await you, should you wish to upgrade this coveted gun further."

"I wish I could… I sadly don't have the time. It's a miracle I managed to obtain this so quickly. I'll have to leave Rannoch soon to continue my team's mission against the Reapers."

The empress told me, "We certainly understand. Yet despite this ceremony, we both know this marks the end of nothing. We thank you for your distinction, and we remain curious to see what more you will accomplish. A task for none other than our treasure of Aht Urhgan. Until we meet again, Tali'Zorah."

Heading back to the hotel for the night, I couldn't stop smiling. This endless joy, this sense of pride and accomplishment had embraced me, warming through the night's breeze. I practically felt myself skipping through Whitegate back to the comfort of our hotel. All the lights and magnificent sights of the city after dark—this gave me an idea. I would save this Death Penalty and give it to Shepard for Christmas. Regardless of whatever happened with that Secret Santa tradition. Even if Shepard protested, I was sure she'd allow us to have our holiday fun together. I at least wanted to give this gift to her. On the very probable chance I didn't end up as her Secret Santa this year. This year, with promises for more to come.

Liara messaged me, letting me know she needed my help soon. She asked me to make sure I ate dinner first. Whatever she had in mind would supposedly take a long time. She didn't want me to go hungry.

So on my way back, I stopped at a teahouse across from Port Al Zahbi. They had engineered these cups of tea as full nutritional meals. I bought one for myself, sipping my dinner as I continued my walk. I couldn't exactly eat regular food, as my system simply wasn't built for it. I couldn't go out and enjoy the nightlife, what with all the crowds everywhere. Speaking of that, Wrex and the others had written in our chat room, pinging me and asking if I wanted to join them for a night out. Wrex had heard back from his STG contact, and so Shepard said we would leave on the Normandy tomorrow for Sur'Kesh, the salarian homeworld. Our time on Rannoch would come to an end soon. At least for now. Still, I told the team I couldn't join them. Liara had asked for my help with something, and I had already promised ahead of time that I would make time for her. The team understood. We made plans to hang out another time.

I did feel a little heartbroken about having to leave Rannoch already. On the other hand, I couldn't wait to get started on my report for the Council! I'd discovered so much in such a short time: the actual truth about my homeworld and its people. I looked forward to coming back here sometime in the future.

Returning to the hotel, I made my way to my room. I really only wanted to put away Shepard's mythic weapon for safekeeping. As I tucked it away with my belongings, I wondered what else this night had in store. Liara had asked me to meet her in Shepard's room. Did she want us all to spend the rest of the night watching vids together? What could possibly take such a long time that she needed my help with?

As I left back out to the hallway, these questions only perplexed me more.

Especially once I arrived to Shepard's door. This door to her room.

I couldn't hear anything going on from inside. Then again, I knew these walls were mostly soundproof. Liara had said in her message that I would have permission to let myself in the room. And so I went in.

Stepping through to the unlit suite, the antechamber draped me in a cold, indulgent silence.

The door had locked behind me. Locking me into this mystery.

Immaculate styling, just like in the room I shared with Liara. Modern and minimalist and magnetic.

Just as magnetic, I heard the sounds coming from farther inside the suite.

Sneaking down this walkway, through the antechamber and past the bathroom, I listened harder. I looked onward, finding Rannoch's nightlife shining in plenty through the windows. Spectacular views paved this walkway for me. As all I could really see at first. Then I heard more. The soft, shadowed sounds of Liara's laughter. The way she giggled in satisfaction, so sexy. I listened more as my surroundings began heating up. Warming with this laser-specific heating system only raising the temperature in here. In the bedroom of the suite. Right here as my body heated up from the other sounds I heard. Deep growls of frustration. Deeper sounds of physical struggling, raw and enraged.

From this vantage point, entering the bedroom, I found the length of the bed first. Nearest to me on this side. Atop the white of the sheets wrinkled in every direction, I found the color of her blues in the night. Perfectly exposed to the windows opposite her, Liara had spread her body in this deceptive dark. A moonlight balm shined over her limbs—the constant arch of her back up to her breasts, the bends of her legs, and the slip of her hands down between. Directly down to the slicked heat between her thighs.

Against the wall, between the windows, opposite Liara's sex appeal:

Down on her knees and chained against that wall, Shepard raged in her need to break free. Barely dressed. Probably dressed for bed. Until Liara had arrived. Until Liara had decided to take over like this.

Shepard's wrists, Liara had pinned to the surface with her biotics, locking her there.

Crucifixion with no way out, the lean power of her bare arms sloping down to her sleeveless shirt. That power she used to fight and fight. Struggling, shifting; gnawing her teeth and growling in a primal frenzy. Thrashing in place, Shepard couldn't move anywhere. She could only watch. Watching as Liara put on this sadistic show. Like a chained hound fighting against her bondage. She fought and fought, getting nowhere. Liara kept laughing, kept touching herself, kept denying her. Driving her right to the edge.

Worsening that edge, Liara paused once she saw me.

I smiled down at her with such an enthusiastic consent.

Liara returned my smile, taking my wrist in her hand. She eased me down to the bed with her.

As I lay down over the sheets, tangling my body with Liara's, Shepard steadily lost the last of her control.

Liara held my face; she pressed her smile over mine. For a moment we just listened. We listened as Shepard lost her breath. We listened as Shepard slowly but surely lost her mind. Breaking her down.

"Just like we wanted," breathed Liara, reminiscing with me. "Over the summer. What we tried to do."

"Oh, I remember," I told her. "Shattering her resolve was always the goal. The ultimate fantasy."

"Well, it looks like it isn't a fantasy anymore. Could you…help me keep this going, Tali?"

"You don't even have to ask."

Smiling endlessly into one another, Liara and I gave Shepard this exclusive show.

An absolute tease, I sensed Liara's intentions. She didn't want us to go all the way. Not tonight. We'd done it before…to some extent. This time, Liara gave me her restraint. She admired my face with her touch. She clasped her lips over and between mine, arousing me in this lush taste of her. She laced her hand atop mine, guiding my own touch down her body, down to her waist. Always with this restraint, though. Slowing down. Especially as Shepard's own breaths began to calm down. She saw this story for herself. How I had done this with Liara, for Liara before. Keeping Liara away from the brink, that edge.

Even though this should have been Shepard's job.

Shepard should have done this instead of me—this whole time she'd been gone, off with others instead.

Part of me enjoyed this beyond the lesson. Teasing Shepard like this. Making her react, making her imagine. How she still struggled against her restraints, even as she understood the bigger picture here. Liara and I did this for her. For her gaze. For her imagination. For her entertainment: the kind any entitled pervert could only dream of having like this. Special and personalized. A long time in the making. Maybe she could smell us from over there. But she couldn't touch us. She could only watch.

The other part of me enjoyed making Shepard jealous.

She really should have been in my position. Not just at this moment. For months now. For years, even.

She should have been here, loving Liara endlessly.

She should have protected her as I'd had to do before.

She should have listened, and given her the benefit of the doubt, and backed down first.

I felt Shepard's quiet understanding as she watched us. As she watched me give Liara this love and protection, even as mine stayed so far-removed from romance. This devotion of enjoyment, having a good time, and laughing with Liara in silliness, adoring her lips down to her neck, her shoulders. No more than that in Liara's requested restraint. Wordless. How long did we spend like this, I wondered? I had lost track. Just the beginning, I knew Liara had bigger and better plans after this. Just a taste now.

Another taste: Liara brought me over to Shepard's place by the wall.

As we kneeled down with her, Shepard glanced back and forth between us. Such a hunger burned in her eyes, branding us both. Liara fully leaned into the moment, searing her own mark over Shepard's neck. So seamless in her movements, she eased her hand against my shoulder, moving me in. Closer to the other side of Shepard's shoulder, the slope of her tensed neck. How much I smiled into this movement, kissing this other side of her. Shepard grunted in her failing control. Like an engine revving over and over again, her throat's guttural groans vibrated against my lips, against Liara's lips on her other side. This sheen of sweat had built over her skin, too. This insular heat from her length of hair sprawling down her back. This divinity from her every movement, from Liara directing me, letting me kiss up to Shepard's face.

Liara whispered into Shepard's burning ear, "Kiss her, Shepard. Kiss her and let me feel you." This first in such a long time: adoring Shepard's lips with my own, so helpless in her reactions. All while Liara sensed her every reaction, her deepest wants. Exposed. "I want you to want Tali completely. I want you to feel this frustration." One touch from Liara's hand over my waist, and I followed her instructions. I mounted Shepard's lap, wrapping my legs around her. How I smiled into her agony. "I want you to enjoy this. Bask in it. And then…I want to see your resolve. Will you still put me first? Do you still want to be with me?"

Admittedly curious, I moved my attentions, kissing back down to Shepard's neck.

Liara took my place, though she stopped herself a breath away from Shepard's mouth.

Fully aware of her place on her knees, Shepard panted out, "Yes, Liara."

Humming in a deep amusement, Liara needed more. "Yes, what?"

These spasms wracking through Shepard's body amused me to no end. How she kept fighting against her restraints, even now. She couldn't do anything. Nothing aside from what Liara asked of her.

"I'll still put you first… I still want to be with you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

"Hmm, are you now?"

Again sensing Liara's intentions, I had to stop myself.

I removed my body from Shepard's with some difficulty. I had missed her, after all. So very much. But I also understood my temptations. My own temptations. And the ones I posed to Shepard. I had already promised Liara this wouldn't get in the way of our friendship. I sat at the foot of the bed, watching now.

I watched Liara take my place again, mounting herself where I had just been, there on the sturdy foundation of Shepard's kneeling form. She held Shepard's face in her hands. Slowly but surely, Liara snaked her hands up from there, tangling those browns and blondes through her fingers. Just taut enough to control. Controlling the lean of Shepard's head. Gripping her in place in this forced control, Liara wouldn't let her go. Shepard grunted and groaned again, breaths hitching in her secret, exposed to us now. Shepard would always obey a strong woman. Stronger or weaker than her, it didn't matter. Only this power mattered. Only the execution mattered in eroticism. Liara had already proven her strength.

Always this mental and emotional subservience.

More than earned on Liara's part.

More than enough to keep her in love, lording her control over Shepard as she warned:

"I'm going to keep challenging you. Even if it isn't specifically like this. I meant what I said before. I still need you to prove you're serious about me. We are off to a wonderful start. Let's see how far you'll go."

Rebellion in motion as Liara moved away, standing back up again.

She went to Shepard's holo-closet, covering herself up. Getting dressed for bed, but not to sleep here.

Shepard watched her in a growing want. Cravings engorged of her. Even more unfinished business.

Perfectly innocent, Liara held my hand. We made to leave together. But not before Liara removed the shackles from Shepard's wrists. Breathing hard, Shepard lay face-down over the floor of her room. So dangerous in her anticipation. She stared up at us both, the menace of her eyes piercing through the night. So close to pouncing on us, she forced a final control. This haggard control, this unsteady control.

"Tali and I are leaving now," announced Liara, backing out with me. This little smile of hers, so mischievous. I knew what she actually wanted. "We will see you in the morning. Good night, Shepard."

"Good night, Captain," I said, infected with this smile of my own. "Try to get some rest before Sur'Kesh."

Leaving to the antechamber, this excitement nearly boiled over.

The moment we walked outside Shepard's door, this energy swept over us.

As soon as we left for our room, it started.

We heard Shepard behind us. She'd followed us. She wouldn't let us get away this easily!

She charged after us down the dark of the hall. Liara and I laughed and screamed like schoolgirls. We ran and ran, trying but not trying to get away from her. We'd fully turned Shepard into a monster and we knew it. She could have caught us at any moment. She could have grabbed us, shoving us against the wall; finally having her way with us. Right in the middle of the hall. Right where our teammates could have found us. Because they'd apparently already returned from their night out on the town. Slack-jawed again, Joker, Kaidan, Jack, and Garrus had poked their heads out from their rooms. They watched as Liara and I skipped past in endless laughter; as Shepard stormed past, faster, this close to getting us.

Somehow, Liara managed to get inside the room with me.

The door locked shut behind us.

This close to the surface, we heard Shepard's reactions from the other side.

Grunting in defeat, she rammed her head against the door. Then her whole body. That thoughtless lust. Animalistic urges unhinged at long last. Liara and I pressed our backs over the door, massaged by Shepard's extremely physical protests. We laughed and giggled more, giddy over bringing this out in her.

Liara fawned, "Oh, this is perfect. I've wanted this for so long."

"You're not the only one," I said. "Then again, this is…a little dangerous, don't you think?"

"Yes, a little," she agreed, grinning more from these aftershocks against our door. "We need to give her proper aftercare. I worry about Shepard suffering from a Dom drop. That would be dangerous for her."

"Okay, but how are you going to tame her first? We can't give her aftercare until she calms down."

"I have just the thing," she replied, inspired.

Then Liara directed me to move off to the side. Away from the door and out of view for now.

I hurried over before Shepard broke the door down.

As soon as Liara opened the door, Shepard lunged through. The door closed and locked itself behind her. She pounced, pinning Liara against the opposite wall. Liara couldn't stop laughing in between Shepard kissing her, adoring her so. Beautiful in adoration, yes, but Shepard wanted more. She picked Liara up. Slinging across her shoulder, she got Liara in a fireman carry, leaving to the bed across the room.

Squealing in protest, Liara had seemingly lost control of the situation. "Shepard! Wait, this isn't fair!"

Thoughtless once more, Shepard threw Liara down onto the plush of the mattress.

She rushed on top of her, blazing her lips down Liara's body, nearly undressing her.

"We can't do this now!" tried Liara, squirming around. "We'll never stop… You have to let me sleep!"

Shepard slowed down, but otherwise couldn't pause completely.

Liara loved this too much to stop her. She had to do it.

So she used her biotics one more time, immobilizing Shepard on top of her.

Still able to speak, Shepard raged, "You're cheating, Liara! This isn't fair! You fucking tease…"

Liara smiled over the damage she'd caused. "I want you to save your energy for next time."

"When? When is next time?"

Hands glowing in that same biotic blue, Liara pressed her touch to Shepard's face, soothing. She calmed Shepard down. Pacifying her. Drugging her, in some ways, with this old fetish they shared. Shepard groaned in the signs of this calming. Tranquilized and hypnotized at once, I watched as her entire body relaxed, releasing control. She steadily collapsed into Liara's arms. She lay there on top of her, peaceful.

"Soon," soothed Liara, more, as she ran her nails through Shepard's hair. "Very soon. Once we are on the Normandy again. After I've had a good night's sleep. You can imagine how sleep-deprived I've been lately. Wanting you, needing you. Worrying about you. Having unpleasant dreams. Please let me rest first…"

Nodding in a gentle understanding, Shepard surrendered this fight, obeying in a dream-like haze.

Still massaging Shepard's scalp, Liara raised her other hand, gesturing for me to join them.

Winding down for the night, I settled into my spot of the bed. Shepard stayed between Liara and me. One of us on either side of her. We both cared for her. Soothing, non-sexual. Stroking her hair, stroking her back. Admiring her. Calming Shepard enough to sleep, too. After nestling myself against her, I soon fell asleep. This eternal security of Shepard's breathing relaxed me. The added security of Liara's presence on the other side of her, the other side of the bed: I slept a dreamless sleep of pure innocence.

In the morning, we'd have to leave Rannoch, making another journey on the ship.

We had to leave this mini-paradise. So far-removed from the galaxy, from the Reaper threat. Priority: Sur'Kesh awaited us.

I savored my sleep even more, fully giving into this sin of sloth while I still could.

Because I knew, as soon as we left Rannoch, my heart would change, missing this new home of mine. My distant home beyond the horizon.