Link rode back to Hyrule castle to see if Zelda had seen her. He left
his horse at the castle door and went inside. He walked the fourteen
flights of stairs to her room. "Why doesn't the king just get an elevator?"
he said to himself.
When he finally got to Zelda's room, he noticed a piece of paper on
her door. He grabbed it and collapsed of exhaustion. The note read:
"I have both Saria and Zelda in my secret lair in Dodongo's Cavern
that you don't know about. If you want to see them again, you have to
defeat me again.
Happy hunting, Ganondorf
************************************************************************
TWO DAYS AGO
As Saria was riding to Hyrule castle, same as she did every Saturday,
when a guy on a fat brown horse rode up to her and said "hi."
"Hi," Saria answered ",I don't have time to talk right now, Ganondorf,
I'm late meeting Link."
"I know, that is why I am here."
"If you feel like running like a wuss after a long and painful beating
again, he's at the castle."
"Silence, Mortal! You are coming with me!"
"What's with the mortal crap? You're not exactly immortal yourself."
"I know, but I like to pretend I am. So, anyway, you are coming with me."
He said
"I'm not going with you!" she said. That's when the writer, me, popped
out of a gopher hole and I said.
"If you don't go with him, I'll make you die at the end of the story."
"Who the hell are you?" asked Saria.
"I'm the writer and if you don't do what I write, you WILL DIE!" and then
I went back in the gopher hole.
He picked Saria up, kicking and screaming, and, rode to Dodongo's
Cavern, holding on to the back of the Saria's collar so she couldn't slip
off. He pulled out a chair and tied her to it. "I have to go get Zelda
now."
"Why?" Saria asked.
"So Link will come and want to fight me."
"But you already have me here."
"Well than I'm kidnapping her anyway because I'm evil and I feel like
it." saying that, he turned around, tripped on his fancy cape thingy and
left.
"How did I get kidnapped by this idiot?" she asked herself.
You've probably guessed it went exactly the same with Zelda, you're
right (well close enough).
************************************************************************
Zelda was running down the stairs to get to the banquet hall, wishing
her dad would just get an elevator, when she saw a guy (oh who cares we
already know It's Ganondorf) when she saw Ganondorf standing on the bottom
step of the thirteenth floor. He said "Hi."
" I don't have time to talk right now, Ganondorf, I'm late for a banquet"
she said.
"That's why I'm here"
"To go to the banquet?"
"I dunno I'm just trying to make this exactly the same as the
conversation I had with Saria."
"Why?"
"Because the writer already wrote it and she'll kill us both if we don't
do it like she writes"
"Uh huh, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"
Suddenly, I jumped in the wind and said "It's true. If you don't do
what I write, you WILL DIE!"
"But I don't know how their conversation went in the first place." Zelda
whined
"Well go up and read, OR ELSE!" then I jumped back out the window and
Zelda scrolled up to read their conversation and they continued.
" If you feel like screaming like a baby and embarrassing yourself in
front of the whole court, Link should already be there."
"Silence, Mortal! I am taking you with me."
"What's with the mortal shit? It's not you have immortal life."
"I know, but I like to pretend that I am. So, anyway, I am taking you
with me."
" If you think I'm gonna go with you just because you say so, you are."
she then stops talking when she hears me walk up behind her "absolutely
right!"
Ganondorf then picked her up, kicking and screaming, threw her over his
shoulder and started down the thirteen other flights of stairs. About
around the forth floor Ganondorf forgot to leave a note on Zelda's door to
tell Link where he would be, waiting to fight him. He walked back up the
stairs to Zelda's room wrote a note, hung it on the door and started
cursing my narration.
When he got to the bottom of the floor, he was so tired that he made Zelda
walk. And Zelda, afraid of me, didn't put up any fight at all. They got out
side and Zelda saw his horse.
"I'm not riding that thing. Let me go get my horse and I'll be right
back." Zelda said. She looked into the stable and backed out when she saw
Emily, the stable girl, grooming the horses and me standing next to her.
She closed the door and walked back to where Ganondorf was waiting for her.
"I think I'll just ride with you," she said.
They rode to Dodongo's cavern where Ganondorf tied Zelda in a chair
next to Saria. "Hey Saria, what are you doing here?" Zelda asked her.
"The same thing you're doing here." she said.
"Now we have to sit here and wait for Link to come save you two"
Ganondorf said to both of them.
************************************************************************
BACK TO CURRENT TIME Link rode to Dodongos lair, where he got a rude greeting from the princess. "What took you so long, Stupid?" "I was missing for two days and you didn't think to come looking for me sooner." While Zelda and Link were busy engaging themselves in a fight, Ganondorf pulled up a chair and watched them fight like they were on Jerry Springer or something. After about ten minutes of fighting, Saria was getting pissed off and Navi decide to make herself useful and cut Saria's bonds with a fairy-sized sword. When Saria was finally free she pulled Link's sword from it's hilt, everyone was too busy to notice. Link and Zelda finally got to the part where they apologized and Link, completely forgetting that Zelda was still tied to the chair, dove in for a hug and knocked the chair over trapping his arms under the chair. They were stuck on the ground, on top of each other. "Well this is great!" Zelda said, "now look what you got us into, Mr.Smartguy." Zelda yelled at him. "Well excuse me princess." While Ganondorf was watching them delightfully, Saria snuck up behind him with Link's sword and was about to hit him in the head with the flat side of the sword, when I came riding in on my brand new dirt bike and everyone stopped and looked (except Link and Zelda who were still fighting). "Hey, I still have to punish you for cursing my narration!" I yelled at Ganondorf. "But that was two days ago," Ganondorf said. "Yes, but I was waiting for the right time to do it. I didn't want to ruin the story and leave Saria sitting in Dodongo's Cavern forever, shit head. Don't you know how to write a story?" "Okay, what are you going to do that would ruin the story?" "This!" I said pulling out my pencil. I took out my pencil and ran over to Ganondorf and rammed it into his eye. When I pulled it out his eye came with it. "This is gonna be my favorite writing pencil!" I announced. "Now can I hit him upside the head with the flat side of the sword?" Saria asked. "Be my guest," I said. Saria began beating Ganondorf with the flat side of the sword. When she was done and he was lying on the ground almost dead, I suggested that we go to Taco Bell. "Great!" said Navi. "Good I'm starving!" agreed Saria. So we went to get some tacos we all became best friends. ************************************************************************ BACK IN DODONGO'S CAVERN Link and Zelda were still stuck on the floor of the cave. "Um, anybody? A little help here?"
The End*^_^*
BACK TO CURRENT TIME Link rode to Dodongos lair, where he got a rude greeting from the princess. "What took you so long, Stupid?" "I was missing for two days and you didn't think to come looking for me sooner." While Zelda and Link were busy engaging themselves in a fight, Ganondorf pulled up a chair and watched them fight like they were on Jerry Springer or something. After about ten minutes of fighting, Saria was getting pissed off and Navi decide to make herself useful and cut Saria's bonds with a fairy-sized sword. When Saria was finally free she pulled Link's sword from it's hilt, everyone was too busy to notice. Link and Zelda finally got to the part where they apologized and Link, completely forgetting that Zelda was still tied to the chair, dove in for a hug and knocked the chair over trapping his arms under the chair. They were stuck on the ground, on top of each other. "Well this is great!" Zelda said, "now look what you got us into, Mr.Smartguy." Zelda yelled at him. "Well excuse me princess." While Ganondorf was watching them delightfully, Saria snuck up behind him with Link's sword and was about to hit him in the head with the flat side of the sword, when I came riding in on my brand new dirt bike and everyone stopped and looked (except Link and Zelda who were still fighting). "Hey, I still have to punish you for cursing my narration!" I yelled at Ganondorf. "But that was two days ago," Ganondorf said. "Yes, but I was waiting for the right time to do it. I didn't want to ruin the story and leave Saria sitting in Dodongo's Cavern forever, shit head. Don't you know how to write a story?" "Okay, what are you going to do that would ruin the story?" "This!" I said pulling out my pencil. I took out my pencil and ran over to Ganondorf and rammed it into his eye. When I pulled it out his eye came with it. "This is gonna be my favorite writing pencil!" I announced. "Now can I hit him upside the head with the flat side of the sword?" Saria asked. "Be my guest," I said. Saria began beating Ganondorf with the flat side of the sword. When she was done and he was lying on the ground almost dead, I suggested that we go to Taco Bell. "Great!" said Navi. "Good I'm starving!" agreed Saria. So we went to get some tacos we all became best friends. ************************************************************************ BACK IN DODONGO'S CAVERN Link and Zelda were still stuck on the floor of the cave. "Um, anybody? A little help here?"
The End*^_^*