Chapter 18 – MLE Madness
Had he really been there?
Did Draco really visit him?
Or was it just yet another hallucination?
Harry didn't know. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. The only thing he felt confident about was his name and the fact that he was one hundred percent guilty of the crime he was incarcerated for.
It made being in Azkaban that much harder. The knowledge that he deserved to be there, for hurting the one person he loved more than anything or anyone in the entire world.
But the worst thing was the fact that, because the Dementors guarding his cell ensured that he relived his parent's deaths over and over and over again, he was constantly reminded of how disappointed his parents would be.
Harry clung to any memory that didn't involve Voldemort. It didn't matter that he couldn't find any happy memories. As long as there was no one screaming or any green lights, Harry felt he could deal with it.
Memories of Draco insulting him before they had gotten together were quickly becoming favourites. The blonde may have been glaring at Harry with hatred in his eyes, but at least Draco was there. Unfortunately, these memories were becoming harder and harder to find as they gradually became a source of happiness for Harry.
Azkaban was funny like that. Recollections that once caused pain became treasured memories and were then stolen away by the Dementors.
Harry rolled over on his small bed and stared at eleven thin scratch marks on the wall. In one of his more lucid moments, he had realised that he would quickly lose track of time, so he had decided to scratch a mark on the wall for every day he was in there.
Eleven days, Harry thought tiredly. I don't think I'm ever going to get out of here.
Harry dredged up a fairly recent memory that wasn't happy. It was painful in a poignant kind of way. It was the day Sirius finally made good on his promise to take Harry to see his parents graves.
Sirius bounded into the Gryffindor boys' dorm with far too much enthusiasm for 6 o'clock on a Saturday morning.
"Wakey, wakey," Sirius called out loudly. "Rise and shine, boys."
"Fuck off," a sleepy voice muttered from Seamus' bed.
"Professor Black?" Neville said timidly as he peered between the curtains of his bed.
"Ignore me, Neville. I'm here for Harry," Sirius said with a charming smile.
"Then why the fuck did you have to wake us all up?" another voice from Seamus' bed complained.
"That's all just part of the service," Sirius said, obviously unconcerned.
Harry groaned. "It's too early."
"It's a beautiful day, Harry," Sirius insisted as he pulled the curtains around Harry's bed open and tied them to the bedposts. Harry was lying on his back with Draco wrapped around him. Both boys were at least wearing t-shirts and under the blankets they were wearing boxers too. At least, Sirius hoped they were.
Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed beside Harry. Draco's head was resting on Harry's shoulder and his soft grey eyes were regarding Sirius thoughtfully.
"Look, Harry. If you don't want to go, I understand. I know it's going to be a difficult day," Sirius said softly. Harry's green eyes opened and he stared up at his godfather, aghast.
"Of course I want to go," he said firmly. "It's just…well…could Draco come with us?"
"I thought he was coming," Sirius said, looking confused. "You two are joined at the hip, aren't you?"
Harry made a face at Sirius and turned to Draco. He kissed the blonde, not caring if Sirius was still watching them, which he was – with an amused grin.
"Do you think maybe you could get off me so we can get ready to go?" Harry asked Draco, with a small smile. Draco nodded and rolled off Harry. He silently started to get ready for the day.
Harry stared lovingly at Draco for a moment before returning his gaze to Sirius. "Isn't Remus waiting for you somewhere?"
"Yep," Sirius said, nodding. "He's in the common room. Don't keep us waiting all morning."
Sirius ruffled Harry's hair and bounded out of the room. Harry glanced back over at Draco and noticed the blonde staring at his hair.
"What?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head with a slight smile and wandered off to take a shower.
Eventually they'd made it to the cemetery. Remus had created a portkey for them so transport wasn't an issue. Harry stood at the gate. He raised his hand to lift the latch and hesitated. He could feel Draco's anxious eyes on his back. The former Slytherin slipped an arm around Harry's waist and pulled the dark haired boy back against him.
"You don't have to do anything you're not ready for," Draco whispered in his ear.
"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "I want to do this. I need to do this."
Harry unlatched the gate. It swung open with a slight screech. Harry winced and then turned to Draco.
"Give me a few minutes," he said softly, pressing a kiss on his boyfriend's lips.
Draco nodded and leaned on the wall to watch as Harry stepped into the cemetery. Sirius and Remus had already pointed out his parent's gravestones so he knew where to go. The two remaining Marauders had discretely gone for a walk to give Harry some space. Well, Remus had dragged Sirius off for a walk to give Harry some space.
Harry stood in front of two gravestones. His eyes swept over the engraved letters.
James Nathan Potter
14.4.1960 ~ 31.10.1981
Beloved husband and father
Prongs
Always a Marauder
Lily Rose Potter
7.6.1960 ~ 31.10.1981
Beloved wife and mother
Cherished by those
who loved her
The simplicity of the stones and the words moved Harry more than reams of parchment proclaiming their virtues could.
"So…uh…hi," Harry said nervously. He really wasn't sure why he was nervous. After all, there was no one around to hear him. Draco was at least a couple of hundred metres away and he was the closest person at the moment.
Harry knelt down on the grass and reached into his robes. He pulled out a single white lily and laid it on the grass in front of his mother's stone. He felt a tear slide down his face as he finally confronted the fact that his parents were well and truly dead. He hadn't really been aware that he had unconsciously been waiting for them to come back to him but that night that Voldemort had paraded illusions of them in front of him had really opened Harry's eyes.
It hurt to stare at cold, hard stone and realise that his parents were buried about six feet below him. He felt a dull ache in his chest and another couple of tears slid down his face.
"I…I wish things had been different. I wish I could have known you," Harry whispered, wrapping his arms around himself in a defensive gesture. He felt alone and vulnerable right then but he really didn't want to be with other people. He needed this.
"The Dursleys?" Harry laughed bitterly. "Well, you probably know what happened there. I'm sorry Mum. I know they're you're family but god, I hate them. Well, perhaps that's too strong."
Harry tilted his head to one side as he contemplated his feelings for his only living blood relatives.
"No its definitely hate. You know what pushes it over the line from extreme dislike into hate? The fact that, as a young child, when I would cry no one was there, no one would hold me and tell me everything would be alright. I would just curl up in my cupboard under the stairs and wish that you would come back and take me away with you."
Harry wiped his tears away and tried to control his emotions.
"I hope you weren't disappointed in me when I…when I was learning dark magic. I should have known better, or resisted or something," Harry bit his lip and looked up over the top of the stones at the trees in the distance. "I'm just so sick of always looking over my shoulder. I wanted to…protect Draco."
Harry smiled ruefully. "I hope you're okay with Draco and me. He makes me very happy and I think I make him happy too. I think you would have liked him. He's…well, he's complicated but he's lovely. I don't think I could get through this without him."
Harry glanced over his shoulder to look at the gate where he had left Draco. He was startled to see no one there, just an open gate, a stone wall and numerous graves. Harry quickly got to his feet and scanned the cemetery anxiously. He relaxed as he saw Draco standing about ten metres away, far enough away not to intrude or hear Harry's words, but close enough to be of comfort to Harry if he needed it.
Harry gave him a small smile and held out his arm. Draco returned the smile and walked over. He slipped his arm around Harry's waist as Harry wrapped his arm around Draco's shoulder.
"Mum, Dad," Harry said softly, glancing down at their graves. "This is Draco Malfoy, my boyfriend."
There was a moment of silence.
"I promise I'll always take care of Harry," Draco said, his voice full of promise. Harry squeezed Draco's shoulder and Draco gently reached up to brush tears from Harry's cheeks. Harry caught Draco's hand and pressed a kiss into the palm.
"I love you," Harry murmured, his eyes shining brightly with still more unshed tears.
"I love you too," Draco whispered back before kissing Harry softly. They both turned back towards the graves and stood in quiet contemplation until Sirius and Remus returned.
Harry turned to lie on his back and stare blankly at the ceiling. Even that memory was starting to become too good. It would be gone soon. He started counting the cracks on the ceiling. It was as good a way as any to pass the time and keep from thinking. One, two, three, four, five, six…
*
"Help me," Harry whispered mournfully.
"I am. You'll be home soon," Draco whispered back.
"I don't think I can stand it much longer."
"I'm here with you now, I'm always with you."
"It hurts so much, Draco."
"I know, baby. It's going to get better, I promise."
"Take me home with you."
"I can't, I'm sorry but I can't."
"…please?"
"I'm sorry. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"I have to go now."
"No! Don't go!"
"I have to, sweetie. I'll be back soon."
"……Draco?………….DRACO!"
Harry's last desperate plea haunted Draco as he walked down the halls towards the office of the Minister of Magic. Four whole days had passed since Draco had first been in Arthur Weasley's office and he was praying that he had been called back because the Department of Magical Law Enforcement (MLE) had made their decision regarding Harry's trial.
Ron was sitting outside the office, he looked about as bad as Draco felt. Draco and Ron had spent the last few nights at the Leaky Cauldron. Draco flat out refused to go back to Hogwarts without Harry. Ron had spent most of his time with his father in the Ministry as they sorted out the mess of the new secure building whereas Draco had wandered about London, worrying about Harry. He hadn't been allowed back into Azkaban so he had no idea how Harry was coping.
Draco sank into the chair beside Ron and dropped the bag he was carrying beside him. Neither spoke for a long moment.
"Do you think they could have made a decision yet?" Draco asked eventually, almost afraid of the answer.
"I hope so. I don't see why they would call us both here if they didn't," Ron replied flatly, staring at the door to his father's office as if willing it to open.
"You should have seen him, Ron. After a matter of hours, he looked like a wreck. Imagine what he's like now, after four days!" Draco exclaimed.
Ron was actually glad that he hadn't seen Harry in Azkaban. He didn't think he could stand to see Harry like that. It was bad enough seeing him after a nightmare without adding Dementors into the mix.
"I saw Voldemort," he said, changing the subject suddenly.
"What? When?" Draco asked, confused by Ron's calm announcement.
"Last night. I dreamt about him. He's in Wales," Ron said, in that same calm voice.
"Did you tell anyone?" Draco asked.
"What the fuck do you think!" Ron snapped, glaring at the former Slytherin.
Draco's eyes widened and Ron instantly regretted his sharp words.
"Sorry. Yeah, I told Dad and Dumbledore. I think they're going after him again," Ron said flatly.
Draco was silent as he prayed that they would get him this time. They were long overdue for some good news.
Draco glanced around the dishevelled, half unpacked office and glared at the Christmas decorations that adorned the walls. It was just over one week until Christmas and Draco was beginning to think that he would be spending Christmas alone. Alone, he could handle. It was the thought of Harry in that horrible prison for Christmas that made his chest tighten and his eyes sting with tears he refused to shed.
Be positive! he told himself sternly.
"What's that?" Ron asked, gesturing to the bag at Draco's feet.
"Christmas presents," Draco replied softly, his eyes downcast.
"You went shopping?" Ron sounded incredulous. Draco glanced up at him. Ron was starting to turn red with anger. "Harry is sitting in a prison cell and you went shopping?"
"What else am I supposed to do?" Draco demanded, suddenly just as angry as Ron. They were taking their anger at the Ministry out on each other. "They won't let me see Harry. They won't tell me anything here. What the fuck am I supposed to do while I wait for them to fucking decide?"
Ron didn't say anything. He just started pacing up and down the room.
"Fuck, Ron. You need to do an anger management course or something," Draco muttered, reclining back in his seat so his head was resting on the top of it and closed his eyes. He didn't see the rude gesture Ron directed at him.
A door opened and Arthur Weasley's head appeared around it. "Ah, boys, come in."
Draco leapt up and followed Ron into the office. The MLE agent was there also.
"So?" Draco asked anxiously, glancing from Arthur to the agent.
"We have come to a decision," the MLE agent admitted.
Draco stared at him but he said no more.
"And? What was the decision?" Ron snapped. He had apparently had enough of the Ministry's bullshit. So had Draco and he nodded his agreement with Ron's questions.
"After careful investigation, we have decided that Mr Potter was under the influence of dark magic at the time of the incident and is therefore not responsible for his actions," the MLE agent said.
"Does this mean he can come home?" Draco asked, trying desperately not to get his hopes up in case they were dashed.
"Yes," Arthur said with a smile. The MLE agent glared at him but Arthur glared back at him and sent him back to work.
Draco and Ron were both so happy that they threw their arms around each other and hugged as they laughed delightedly. They suddenly realised just what they were doing and hastily pulled apart, looking embarrassed.
"So what are we waiting for? Let's go get him!" Draco exclaimed, grinning at the two Weasley's.
"Ah…" Arthur started to say, his face dropping. Draco felt his face drop too.
"What?" Draco asked, decidedly not impressed. He crossed his arms.
"I'm afraid that the last ferry to Azkaban has already gone. We'll have to wait until tomorrow morning," Arthur said, looking apologetic.
"WHAT?" Draco shouted. "Harry has to stay there another night? No. That can't happen. He's already been in there too long as it is!"
"I know and I'm sorry Draco but that's the way it is," Arthur said, moving to sit behind his desk.
"You know," Ron said quietly. "I thought it was so cool when you became Minister, but since I've spent so much time here this week, I've come to realise that this place is just as bad as Voldemort!"
Arthur started to protest but it seemed that when Ron started ranting, he wouldn't stop until he was completely finished. Draco was surprised to hear Ron say the Dark Lord's name, he couldn't remember if Ron had ever done that before.
"No, Dad. What with "red tape" and "careful" investigations and paperwork and CRAP, Harry Potter, the bloody Boy Who Lived, will have spent a total of five days in Azkaban – the very definition of hell on earth. You all know what effect Dementors have on Harry and you all let him stay in there until those pricks at the MLE decided to get off their fat arses and "investigate". Harry is going to be a wreak when he gets out of there but is that going to stop them from asking him to go up against Voldemort anytime soon? No. All those people who condemned him for this will be the ones asking him to once again be the saviour of the wizarding world. I'm sorry Dad, but the Ministry is just as fucked up as the Death Eaters. At least they seem to be getting something done! Unlike the Ministry, which will sit on its hands until Dumbledore is finished solving all the problems. Then of course it will swoop in and take all the credit."
Ron took a deep breath but appeared to be finished.
Arthur looked stunned at this diatribe. Draco agreed with Ron but all he really wanted was to get Harry back home to Hogwarts.
"Mr Weasley, is there really no way we can get Harry out of there tonight?" Draco pleaded.
"I'm sorry Draco. I really am but unless you want Harry to be arrested for escaping from prison, and yourself this time for helping him, you will have to wait. I understand your concerns and your frustrations but until thing change around here, you need to follow the rules," Arthur said tiredly, looking older than he had before Ron had vented.
Draco nodded. "What about my Dad?"
Arthur frowned. "I'm afraid your father will be staying in Azkaban."
Draco gasped and sat down on a nearby chair.
"He refuses to fight the accusations against him. He believes he deserves to be in there for all the crimes he has committed in the past when he was a Death Eater," Arthur explained as gently as possible.
"Oh my god," Draco groaned, holding his head in his hands. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No. Unless he wants to fight it, there is nothing we can do," Arthur said sadly.
"We'd better let Dumbledore know what's happening," Ron said. Both Weasley's appeared to be ignoring Ron's impassioned speech, perhaps until a more appropriate time.
Arthur nodded and walked over to the fireplace. He threw some powder into the flames and said, "Albus Dumbledore."
Dumbledore's face appeared in the flames moments later. He glanced at the three of them curiously.
"He can come home," Draco said with obvious relief and then scowled. "But not until tomorrow."
"I expected as much," Dumbledore sighed and then spoke directly to Draco. "When you arrive back here, go straight back to the rooms you shared with Harry before Halloween. Harry will need to recuperate and I think it will be best if the two of you stick to those rooms. You will have no visitors until Christmas Day and then perhaps a select few will be allowed in. Dobby will service the apartment, so you have no need to worry about food. Harry will need plenty of love and care from you, Draco."
"I know and I'll be there for as long as he needs me," Draco said firmly.
"I know you will," Dumbledore said, smiling. "The password to the room is unchanged from when you left so you should be able to get in without any problems. If you need me for anything, just send Dobby with a message. I won't see you when you arrive I'm afraid because we have a bit of a situation here but don't worry about that. Ron, if you could come straight to the Order of the Phoenix room when you arrive, I would appreciate it."
Ron looked a bit concerned by this 'situation' but he nodded.
"Good, good. I'd best go now. Have a safe journey tomorrow," Dumbledore smiled wearily at them all and was gone.
*
Early the next morning, Draco and Ron met Arthur outside his office. The trio departed quickly for the ferry that would take them to Azkaban. It was a long journey, made longer by the fact that they were all impatient to get there and get Harry as far away from that place as possible.
Once they arrived it was just a matter of getting through security and into the cell block that held Harry. Draco hurried after the human guard who was leading them through the maze of corridors. It felt like years since he'd last seen Harry.
At last they reached Harry's cell. Draco gasped as his eyes at last fell upon his beloved. Harry was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall. His eyes were wide open but he wasn't blinking and he didn't seem to be seeing anything in front of him.
"He's been like that for hours," the guard muttered as he unlocked the cell door.
Draco pushed his way into the cell, not caring if the guard thought he was rude. Once he was inside, he stopped, unsure of what he should do. After a brief debate with himself, he decided to let his instincts guide him. It had worked when he had taken advantage of the Invisiblia potion and told Harry the truth about his appalling behaviour, so hopefully it would work now.
Draco sat down carefully on the bed facing Harry. He slowly reached up to brush Harry's fringe out of his eyes.
"Harry?" Draco said softly, watching Harry's eyes for any sign of life. Harry's head jerked and he gazed blankly at Draco. "Harry, it's me, Draco."
A spark of recognition lit in Harry's eyes. "Drac?" he croaked.
"Yeah, it's me, Drac. I've come to take you home," Draco said, his voice trembled as he tried hard not to let his heart break at seeing Harry this shattered.
"Home?" Harry sounded at once both hopeful and disbelieving.
"Home, to Hogwarts," Draco explained, gently pulling Harry into his arms. The dark haired boy let out a sob as his arms snaked out around Draco and he hugged the blonde boy tightly, as if he was afraid Draco would leave him there if he let go.
Draco felt his own tears falling as he held Harry just as tightly. "I'll never let you go. I'll never let you go again."
After several minutes, Draco pulled away slightly and framed Harry's face with his hands. He smiled at Harry, "Everything is going to be alright."
"How…how long have I been here?" Harry eventually asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
"Five days," Draco said regretfully.
"No, that can't be right," Harry protested, moving away from Draco. He pointed at the wall. "I have 23 marks on the wall. I've been in here 23 days."
Draco stared down at the wall in surprise and wondered just what Harry had used to judge the days by. Obviously something that happened several times a day. Draco decided to leave that issue to be discussed another day, when Harry was feeling better.
"Let's go home, sweetie," Draco suggested, holding out his hand to Harry. Harry stared at it for a moment before clutching it in his own hand like it was a lifeline.
Draco pulled Harry up off the bed and led him slowly out of the cell. Draco bit his lip as he saw the way Harry walked, as if he were an old, old man. He was painfully thin and obviously hadn't had any exercise in the five days he'd been there. Add to that the effect of the Dementors basically sucking all the goodness out of him and it was a wonder Sirius had survived twelve years of this. God knows Harry would not have survived much longer. Sirius was lucky he was an animagus and was able to transform and not be as affected by the Dementors as humans were.
Draco sat on the ferry with his arms around Harry, who was sitting between his legs. Harry's head was resting on Draco's shoulder, his eyes were closed but there was a smile on his face as the wind ruffled his hair. Draco kissed Harry's temple and tightened his arms around Harry's waist.
It felt good to be going home at last.
TBC