Just One Week… Part Two
Disclaimer: Though both authors are supremely ingenious, neither came up with the premises for this show. But the overwhelming creativity has overflowed and the result is what you have before you.
Authors' Note: This is written by two best friends, a blonde and a brunette… quite ironic, but we won't get into any jokes.
Another Authors' Note: This fan fic is written as a script. A script is vastly different than a novel, or anything that reads like a book. Basically, this is them talking, you make the voices in your head (or out loud, but we're not gonna go there) and you imagine what the setting looks like in your mind. The actions that we couldn't do without are in italics. Enjoy, and really- making the voices helps.
Special Post-Authors' Note: Apparently, the italics don't like the screen and have gone on strike. So, if you pay lots of attention, you'll notice that the talking parts have names before them. Any actions or scene changes have no name before them, because they are not intended to be spoken.
PART TWO:
1 Cut to Rory and Lane driving down the highway…
Rory: OK, lift up the floor mat from under your feet.
Lane: Why?
Rory: Just do it. Agh- I hate Nike.
Lane: There's nothing here.
Rory: Look more under the seat.
Lane: Nothing…. Some old gum… I think…
Rory: Darn, she must have found it.
Lane: Found what?
Rory: My map!
Lane: Who? Your mother?
Rory: Who else?
Lane: Umm… why did she steal your map?
Rory: She has this thing with being unprepared… and completely unaware of where she's headed.
Lane: Oh… weird.
Rory: She thinks I'm not spontaneous enough, therefore, by taking away my map, she forces spontaneity...
Lane: Really.
Rory: It's her way of living vicariously.
Lane: Strange. So, what now?
Rory: It's ok, we'll just buy one at the next gas station.
Lane: Where's the next gas station?
Rory: Umm.. I dunno.
Lane: We could die, you know.
Rory: We aren't gonna die. We'll get to the next gas station and buy a map.
Lane: But I'm not ready to die. I'm too young. Just ask my Mother. She's gonna kill me. And then you. And then your Mom.
Rory: Why my Mom?
Lane: Remember, this is my mother… she doesn't trust unmarried women.
Rory: Of course…
Cut to Lane and Rory driving further down the highway. Lane is completely lost staring at a map that she doesn't realize is upside-down.
Lane: Umm… Rory, I don't know where we are.
Rory: Don't worry, I do.
Lane: Are we in Canada?
Rory: What!? No… we're in New York.
Lane: New York!! We're here? The Big Apple? The Jets?
Rory: The Jets?
Lane: Sorry, it just kinda slipped out.
Rory: Hey, there's the Statue of Liberty.
Lane: Do you think it can really dance like in that Bangles music video?
Rory: Lane. Lady Liberty is concrete.
Lane: Well, ya, but she had to dance somehow. I saw the Pop-Up video.
Rory: Look- a coffee shop. We need sustenance.
Cut to Stars Hollow, where Lorelai is frantically dialing the phone.
Lorelai: There's a spider. It's big and ugly and black. Come home and kill it.
Rory: Mom… I'm in New York.
Lorelai: Oops… I forgot.
Rory: But elephants never forget.
Lorelai: Well… Hope you're having fun. Bye.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai hangs up and starts frantically dialing again.
Lorelai: Here. Now. Fast. Aaah! Hurry! Life. In. Danger. (hangs up) Ya, buddy, I see you… You think you're so cool. Breaking into my house. I could have you arrested, you know. After all, who's gonna believe a spider in court? Not me. No sir… I'd definitely take a lady's word over a spider. Especially a spider that's so mean looking. And ya know, despite that whole brooding thing you're trying for, you just look like every… OK, stop. Don't come get me. I didn't mean it. AAAHH!! (calls out) RORY!?! Anyone?!? Help??
The front door opens and Luke enters. He surveys the situation and sees Lorelai crouched on top of the kitchen table staring into the corner holding onto the phone with a death-grip.
Luke: (breathlessly) I'm here. What's the emergency? Why are you on the—
Lorelai: LUKE!! My hero! My knight in shining—
Luke: Lorelai! What's wrong?
Lorelai: You have to kill him!
Luke: Who? Did someone break in?
Lorelai: Yes! And he's mocking me!
Luke: Who? I don't see anyone or hear anyone…
Lorelai: Look harder. And If you listen really hard you'll hear him mocking me.
Luke: WHO?
Lorelai: The spider.
Luke: You're kidding me.
Lorelai: Do I sound like I'm kidding you?
Luke: You called me here for a spider.
Lorelai: Not just any spider. The mother of all spiders… actually the father of all spiders. I'm almost certain he's a male. He's trying to brood and I don't know any brooding females, so I'm thinking it's a male thing. Do you know any brooding females? I didn't think so. So kill him already.
Luke: You're afraid of spiders.
Lorelai: I am not afraid of spiders. It's just that Rory usually kills the insects. I can't kill something with a name.
Luke: It has a name?
Lorelai: Harry.
Luke: And did it come with a dog tag or do you have E.S.P. in the spider world?
Lorelai: Haha, funny man. I'm not laughing. Neither is Harry. In fact, now I think he's mocking you.
Luke: The spider is not mocking me, Lorelai.
Lorelai: How do you know? Do you have E.S.P. with the spider world?
Luke: I know because I can just go over there and step on it.
Lorelai: You wouldn't. You just met him.
Luke: Lorelai, you called me over for a reason. To kill the spider. Not to build him a spider retirement condo.
Lorelai: Ya know, he has a name, and he tells me he's pretty tired of you referring to him as "the spider". But speaking of that condo…
Luke steps on the spider.
Lorelai: That hurt. Poor Harry. Mean Harry. I think all Harry's are mean. I don't really know any other Harry's though. So I can safely make that assumption… Wait, that guy down at the post office… Harry? No… Larry? No… Terry? Kerry? Jerry?
Luke: Bob. Lorelai. His name is Bob.
Lorelai: Bob's so boring. That must be why I thought he was an 'arry'. Or an 'erry'. Hmm…
Luke: Can I go now?
Lorelai: No! You can't leave me. What if Harry was bringing his wife and kids? They could be waiting for that condo, ya know.
Luke: Lorelai.
Lorelai: Luke. I miss Rory.
Luke: A-ha. And it's only been 2 days.
Lorelai: Technically two and a half. Really, it's been 54 hours and 16 minutes, so it's more like two and a quarter. Oh- but I saw her again at the diner. So, make that—
Luke: I get it. So what am I supposed to do about it?
Lorelai: Well, now that you're here…
Luke: I don't like that grin. It looks like you're…
Lorelai: Monday night is movie night and movie night all alone is pitiful. You don't want me to be a pitiful person do you?
Luke: Do I have a choice?
Lorelai: Umm… not really.
Luke: So… I'm not much of a movie guy… what's the Tuesday routine?
Lorelai: Thriller night. Thriller in the form of scary movies, not Michael Jackson. Although he too, is scary…
Luke: Agreed… Wednesday?
Lorelai: Umm… it's the third Wednesday of the month, so it's the Joan and Melissa Rivers story. You'll laugh, you'll cry. You'll—
Luke: Ok, I get it. Thursday?
Lorelai: Anything with subtitles. But not Jackie Chan. It was too painful.
Luke: And let me guess. Friday's are, what? Romantic Comedy Night?
Lorelai: No silly, that's tonight. Friday's are dinner at my parents. Remember?
My own personal horror film, without the popcorn.
Luke: Of course, how could I forget… so… what kind of romantic comedy is tonight? Please tell me it doesn't involve Tom Hanks and a volleyball…
Disclaimer: Though both authors are supremely ingenious, neither came up with the premises for this show. But the overwhelming creativity has overflowed and the result is what you have before you.
Authors' Note: This is written by two best friends, a blonde and a brunette… quite ironic, but we won't get into any jokes.
Another Authors' Note: This fan fic is written as a script. A script is vastly different than a novel, or anything that reads like a book. Basically, this is them talking, you make the voices in your head (or out loud, but we're not gonna go there) and you imagine what the setting looks like in your mind. The actions that we couldn't do without are in italics. Enjoy, and really- making the voices helps.
Special Post-Authors' Note: Apparently, the italics don't like the screen and have gone on strike. So, if you pay lots of attention, you'll notice that the talking parts have names before them. Any actions or scene changes have no name before them, because they are not intended to be spoken.
PART TWO:
1 Cut to Rory and Lane driving down the highway…
Rory: OK, lift up the floor mat from under your feet.
Lane: Why?
Rory: Just do it. Agh- I hate Nike.
Lane: There's nothing here.
Rory: Look more under the seat.
Lane: Nothing…. Some old gum… I think…
Rory: Darn, she must have found it.
Lane: Found what?
Rory: My map!
Lane: Who? Your mother?
Rory: Who else?
Lane: Umm… why did she steal your map?
Rory: She has this thing with being unprepared… and completely unaware of where she's headed.
Lane: Oh… weird.
Rory: She thinks I'm not spontaneous enough, therefore, by taking away my map, she forces spontaneity...
Lane: Really.
Rory: It's her way of living vicariously.
Lane: Strange. So, what now?
Rory: It's ok, we'll just buy one at the next gas station.
Lane: Where's the next gas station?
Rory: Umm.. I dunno.
Lane: We could die, you know.
Rory: We aren't gonna die. We'll get to the next gas station and buy a map.
Lane: But I'm not ready to die. I'm too young. Just ask my Mother. She's gonna kill me. And then you. And then your Mom.
Rory: Why my Mom?
Lane: Remember, this is my mother… she doesn't trust unmarried women.
Rory: Of course…
Cut to Lane and Rory driving further down the highway. Lane is completely lost staring at a map that she doesn't realize is upside-down.
Lane: Umm… Rory, I don't know where we are.
Rory: Don't worry, I do.
Lane: Are we in Canada?
Rory: What!? No… we're in New York.
Lane: New York!! We're here? The Big Apple? The Jets?
Rory: The Jets?
Lane: Sorry, it just kinda slipped out.
Rory: Hey, there's the Statue of Liberty.
Lane: Do you think it can really dance like in that Bangles music video?
Rory: Lane. Lady Liberty is concrete.
Lane: Well, ya, but she had to dance somehow. I saw the Pop-Up video.
Rory: Look- a coffee shop. We need sustenance.
Cut to Stars Hollow, where Lorelai is frantically dialing the phone.
Lorelai: There's a spider. It's big and ugly and black. Come home and kill it.
Rory: Mom… I'm in New York.
Lorelai: Oops… I forgot.
Rory: But elephants never forget.
Lorelai: Well… Hope you're having fun. Bye.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai hangs up and starts frantically dialing again.
Lorelai: Here. Now. Fast. Aaah! Hurry! Life. In. Danger. (hangs up) Ya, buddy, I see you… You think you're so cool. Breaking into my house. I could have you arrested, you know. After all, who's gonna believe a spider in court? Not me. No sir… I'd definitely take a lady's word over a spider. Especially a spider that's so mean looking. And ya know, despite that whole brooding thing you're trying for, you just look like every… OK, stop. Don't come get me. I didn't mean it. AAAHH!! (calls out) RORY!?! Anyone?!? Help??
The front door opens and Luke enters. He surveys the situation and sees Lorelai crouched on top of the kitchen table staring into the corner holding onto the phone with a death-grip.
Luke: (breathlessly) I'm here. What's the emergency? Why are you on the—
Lorelai: LUKE!! My hero! My knight in shining—
Luke: Lorelai! What's wrong?
Lorelai: You have to kill him!
Luke: Who? Did someone break in?
Lorelai: Yes! And he's mocking me!
Luke: Who? I don't see anyone or hear anyone…
Lorelai: Look harder. And If you listen really hard you'll hear him mocking me.
Luke: WHO?
Lorelai: The spider.
Luke: You're kidding me.
Lorelai: Do I sound like I'm kidding you?
Luke: You called me here for a spider.
Lorelai: Not just any spider. The mother of all spiders… actually the father of all spiders. I'm almost certain he's a male. He's trying to brood and I don't know any brooding females, so I'm thinking it's a male thing. Do you know any brooding females? I didn't think so. So kill him already.
Luke: You're afraid of spiders.
Lorelai: I am not afraid of spiders. It's just that Rory usually kills the insects. I can't kill something with a name.
Luke: It has a name?
Lorelai: Harry.
Luke: And did it come with a dog tag or do you have E.S.P. in the spider world?
Lorelai: Haha, funny man. I'm not laughing. Neither is Harry. In fact, now I think he's mocking you.
Luke: The spider is not mocking me, Lorelai.
Lorelai: How do you know? Do you have E.S.P. with the spider world?
Luke: I know because I can just go over there and step on it.
Lorelai: You wouldn't. You just met him.
Luke: Lorelai, you called me over for a reason. To kill the spider. Not to build him a spider retirement condo.
Lorelai: Ya know, he has a name, and he tells me he's pretty tired of you referring to him as "the spider". But speaking of that condo…
Luke steps on the spider.
Lorelai: That hurt. Poor Harry. Mean Harry. I think all Harry's are mean. I don't really know any other Harry's though. So I can safely make that assumption… Wait, that guy down at the post office… Harry? No… Larry? No… Terry? Kerry? Jerry?
Luke: Bob. Lorelai. His name is Bob.
Lorelai: Bob's so boring. That must be why I thought he was an 'arry'. Or an 'erry'. Hmm…
Luke: Can I go now?
Lorelai: No! You can't leave me. What if Harry was bringing his wife and kids? They could be waiting for that condo, ya know.
Luke: Lorelai.
Lorelai: Luke. I miss Rory.
Luke: A-ha. And it's only been 2 days.
Lorelai: Technically two and a half. Really, it's been 54 hours and 16 minutes, so it's more like two and a quarter. Oh- but I saw her again at the diner. So, make that—
Luke: I get it. So what am I supposed to do about it?
Lorelai: Well, now that you're here…
Luke: I don't like that grin. It looks like you're…
Lorelai: Monday night is movie night and movie night all alone is pitiful. You don't want me to be a pitiful person do you?
Luke: Do I have a choice?
Lorelai: Umm… not really.
Luke: So… I'm not much of a movie guy… what's the Tuesday routine?
Lorelai: Thriller night. Thriller in the form of scary movies, not Michael Jackson. Although he too, is scary…
Luke: Agreed… Wednesday?
Lorelai: Umm… it's the third Wednesday of the month, so it's the Joan and Melissa Rivers story. You'll laugh, you'll cry. You'll—
Luke: Ok, I get it. Thursday?
Lorelai: Anything with subtitles. But not Jackie Chan. It was too painful.
Luke: And let me guess. Friday's are, what? Romantic Comedy Night?
Lorelai: No silly, that's tonight. Friday's are dinner at my parents. Remember?
My own personal horror film, without the popcorn.
Luke: Of course, how could I forget… so… what kind of romantic comedy is tonight? Please tell me it doesn't involve Tom Hanks and a volleyball…