Yeah, I haven't updated in a while, but I was busy directing. Production staff is complicated stuff. Hope you enjoy this, I think it might be the last chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned any of this, I for-seriously doubt that I would be writing fan fiction.
Chapter Summary: The boys strike back, and Draco is still having some issues.
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That time of the Month
Chapter Five: Is that hell freezing over?
Draco had just stumbled into the Slytherin common room where he was greeted by lewd comments and obnoxious catcalls. He tried to ignore it as he sprinted to his prefect bedroom and locked the door behind him. He proceeded into the bathroom where he attempted to regain some semblance of the everyday, thorn-on-the-ass-of-society Draco.
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Meanwhile, the Gryffindor boys were fending off an angry mob of hormonal females who decided to play darts with quills and 'moving targets'. They had holed up in the sixth-year dormitory where they sealed the door with an unbreakable charm.
As the night wore on, the hungry boys had taken up a collection of candy, which had been saved from weekend Hogsmeade trips. The group happily splurged on piles of Cauldron Cakes, Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing-Whizbees, and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. After an hour, the boys had a definite sugar buzz. Regaining their courage, the boys began plotting a bit of revenge.
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While Draco Malfoy had succeeded in wiping away the make-up and various hair products, he had failed to remove the charm in place on his chest. He contemplated hiding out in his dormitory until he found a counter-charm, but a rumbling in his stomach begged to differ. He found himself stealing a large robe from Goyle, and slinking off to the Great Hall for dinner. He only hoped that the baggy outfit would disguise his ample chest.
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The Gryffindor girls, who were obviously not stupid, left a guard of three females to make sure that the boys could not make an escape. These girls were Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati. The young women sat facing the sixth-year boys door, and chatted idly about boys, fashion, and gossiped about who was doing who.
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On the opposite side of the aforementioned door, the Gryffindor males had come to a unanimous decision. They had planned a panty and tampon raid. (A/N: I'm not sure if guys in Britain do this, but here it is all too common. if you don't know, it is pretty obvious.) It was decided that Seamus, Ron, and Colin would distract the girls, as they were by far the sexiest guys for the job. Then, the twins, Harry, Neville, and Dean would invade the girls' room; pinching every feminine object they could get their hands on. While the distractions were busy snogging their guards, the other boys snuck into an empty classroom where they developed part B of their payback plan.
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Draco had inconspicuously seated himself apart from his Slytherin year mates at the dinner table. Ten minutes into his meal, he was 'attacked' by Pansy Parkinson who snuggled right up next to him and grasped him in a huge, showy hug. She immediately pulled back with a blood-curling shriek.
"Draco," she shouted, "I had no idea you were a hermaphrodite!"
As a collective gasp echoed about the Great Hall, Draco leaped up and tore out of the room amidst a tremendous gale of laughter.
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In a deserted Charms classroom, the final payback plans had been set. Harry, Neville, and George set off to wait near the Great Hall, and Fred and Dean snuck out onto the grounds. Plan B was in action.
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Back in the Gryffindor common room, the three oblivious couples were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Suddenly, the rest of Gryffindor house exploded into the common room. Hermione charged up to Parvati whose arms were tightly wrapped around Ron's neck and hissed, " I thought that we had left you to guard the prisoners, not get into their pants." Parvati blushed and began to disentangle herself from a half-naked Ron.
"Where are the rest of the boys?", asked Sally Anne.
"Oh, we left them in the dorms," replied a very calm Seamus who had just gotten out from under a flushed Lavender.
"Oh. I guess the fun will have to wait until later."
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The Gryffindor boys had finished their covert operation and had returned to their dormitories under the cover of the moonlit night.
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The next morning, when the girls had finally finished their 'grouchy week' and could all fits into their pants, they greeted the boys in the common room with cheerful "Hello"s and bright smiles.
"Almost makes you feel bad doesn't it?" muttered George to his twin.
Fred pondered this revelation momentarily, and quietly replied, "Nah."
The group slowly made their way to the Great Hall. The entire time the boys kept preventing the girls from looking out the window by creating a steady stream of conversation.
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The talkative group entered the Great Hall, and all suddenly fell silent. The girls gazed about and noted several pair of silky panties and tampons floating in the ceiling, replacing the usual candles. They all stared, positively horrified.
"They…They got us." stuttered a shocked Lavender Brown.
"Did it suddenly get cold in here? I think that hell just froze over." stated a mind-numbed Hermione Granger. They were too shocked to notice a large group of boys rolling on the floor eyes tearing with laughter as Draco Malfoy was standing on the Slytherin table trying to reach a metallic emerald male thong.
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It is over! I hope you liked it, I wasn't sure how it would go over. Let me know if it totally sucks. I know you all were loving the guy torture, but I personally liked the ending, well I wrote it. I might be posting other stories, so if you enjoyed my work, look for more sometime soon.
Love, Internalscream (Em)