CHAPTER SIX: MOTHER KNOWS BEST
They took Anakin's airspeeder – a gift from his parents for his sixteenth birthday, though it had not been much more then a scrap heap at the time – and rode it past the raging towers until they reached the artificially landscaped area resembling a beach.
The sand had lost its golden colour with the sun all but set for the day. The ocean – which was really salt water brought in from Mon Calamari placed in the mile long dug out trench – continued to crash against the shore with its foaming waves.
Tahiri climbed out and took off her shoes. She threw them back in the speeder just as Anakin came over to her side. Not surprising, he still had his boots firmly attached to his feet. He took her hand and they started walking.
It occurred to her then that maybe they should have changed out of their formal clothes before heading out there. That had been the last thing on either one of their minds when they had made the decision to leave the small reception being held after Peckum's funeral. The reception was mostly filled with pilots who had flown Peckum or had laboured alongside him when he had worked on Courscant's mirror station up in orbit. It was amazing how many friends Peckum had made over the years.
Tahiri and Anakin had stayed as long as deemed polite, and then had quietly slipped away. She knew Anakin was uncomfortable being there, for it served as a reminder of the last two funerals he had attended. Tahiri, herself, wanted to avoid anything to do with death or grieving, and was thankful when Anakin asked her if she wanted to leave.
"How are you feeling?"
She did her best to look like she had no idea what he was talking it, but Anakin wasn't buying it.
"Don't give me that look, Tahiri. I could sense that something wasn't right with you, and when I ran into Tionne the other day she said you were feeling sick,"
"I feel better now," she assured him.
She wished she had been sick. She had felt more like she was on her deathbed with a case of Toydorian Scarlet fever then anything else.
She had managed to keep her mind shielded from Anakin's to keep him from worrying – or so she had thought – but it had been impossible to hide all her symptoms from Kam and Tionne, especially when she couldn't find the strength to get out of bed yesterday morning. She had the chills, making it impossible for her to keep warm, and her body had refused to follow even the most basic commands she gave it. The headaches were the worst part. No painkillers worked and when she tried using the force, she only made it worse. Tionne had wanted her to see a doctor, but fortunate for Tahiri, whatever illness she had contracted had already started to fade by the following morning.
The symptoms had started after the incident with Jacen in the training room two days earlier. She still could not figure out what had made her lose control like that. One second she had been perfectly calm, and the next she was bubbling with rage inside, sending Jacen flying across the room. Sure, he had been attempting to look at her arm, but that was still no reason for her to act like she had. Luckily for her, she had no more 'outbursts' like that one since it had happened.
She had managed to avoid Jacen since then, which wasn't too hard considering how ill she had been feeling afterwards. It was obvious he had not said anything to Anakin, but she feared it was only a matter of time before he did, and then she would have a lot of explaining to do.
"I don't know why you think you can keep things from me," he said, failing to keep the frustration from surfacing in his voice.
"It was just a flu bug," she insisted. "And besides, I didn't want to ruin your outing with your dad,"
Even in the growing dark she could see his face growing red.
"What?" She tried probing his thoughts only to come up against his own mental barriers. "Now, who's hiding things from who?"
Anakin let out a sigh. "It didn't turn out to be the usual father-son repair work I was expecting,"
"Oh?"
"He wanted to talk to me,"
"What about?"
"Some things in life,"
"You could be a little more specific, Anakin," she said. He had not been this hard to pull words out of in years.
"Sex,"
That was specific enough.
"When he 'caught' us the other day, he knew you were there,"
Tahiri felt her own facing reddening. "And he thought we were – you and I –"
"I don't know what he thought but my mom thought there was something going on,"
She dropped his hand and flung herself down on the sand. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look either one of your parents in the face again,"
He crouched down beside her. "I told my dad we weren't and he seemed to believe I was telling him the truth,"
"Still, Anakin, it's embarrassing," she said, lying back on the sand. "What did he say to you?"
"That he trusts us,"
There had to be more to it then that, but she did didn't press him for more details. It was a relief to know they had at least one adult in their lives who wouldn't treat them like they were little kids who didn't know any better.
"You know it's their job to worry,"
She picked up a handful of sand and threw it at him. "Don't go all wise Jedi on me,"
"Me, Wise?" He chuckled and laid down beside her. "I don't think my brother would agree with you on that one,"
She turned on her side to face him, her green eyes missing their usual bright gleam, and said, "Anakin, what would have happened the other day if your dad hadn't showed up?"
"I don't know,"
He was being honest, so to be fair she had to be honest as well. "I'm not ready, Anakin,"
He lightly kissed the top of her forehead. "That's okay. Neither am I,"
Jaina was one of the first people to leave the reception hall – though not before Anakin and Tahiri she noticed. Those two were starting to remind her of Jacen and Tenal Ka when they first – and finally admitted their feelings to one other. Her brother and her best friend did not seem to be as inseparable these days and she wondered what exactly was going on with them. Tenal Ka was a very private person and Jacen rarely came to her to for advice on their relationship, so Jaina was ready to let them work it out on their own – unless they came to her for help.
She had no specific destination in mind when she left the Imperial Palace. She just needed to walk around somewhere and clear her head.
Zekk had never showed at the funeral, just as he had said he wouldn't. For some reason though, she had expected him to come to his senses and show at the last minute. Not once afterwards did she think to go looking for him. Her last encounter with him was reminder enough to convince her to stay away.
She lost track of how long she was out walking around, but the fact that her feet were killing her was a sign she should head back home.
She made it to her door and took out her keycard to open it.
"Jaina, wait a minute,"
Of course, he had to show up. The perfect end to another perfect day, she thought silently.
"Ganner, it's late and I'm not in the mood to fight with you. Can we do this some other time?" She moved the keycard into the lock.
"I didn't come here to fight. I came to apologize,"
Those were the only words he could have said to keep her from going inside and leaving him out there – but just barely.
"I'm sorry about the other day and what I said. I deserved that slap,"
"Did it hurt?" She said, facing him.
"Yeah," he said, unconsciously rubbing the spot on his face.
"Good,"
He did not appear taken aback by her remark. If anything, he had been expecting it. "I didn't show up today because I knew it was a private thing. And after what happened with us, I thought it be best if I steered clear of you for awhile,"
"That was probably a good idea," she agreed.
"You're right, though, it's late," he said when silence began to fall between them. "I just wanted you to know that it wasn't fair of me to say what I said to you,"
He turned to go, having said what he came there to say, but Jaina's voice stopped him. "We could talk more tomorrow, you know, if you're not doing anything,"
He nodded and gave her a small smile. Clearly, this conversation had gone a lot better then he had anticipated. "Sure, tomorrow then?"
They kissed briefly and then he watched Jaina disappear inside the apartment.
Ganner would never say anything to her, and she would surely deny it if he did, but he knew deep down that she didn't love him – not the way he loved her – and nothing he could do would ever change that. He would never be anything more then second best to her.
The sight of her parents sitting on the couch, still awake, startled Jaina when she walked in.
"Where have you been?" Her mother demanded.
"Nowhere," she answered truthfully. "Just out walking around,"
"It's late, Jaina," her father said to her.
If it was so late, what were the two of them still doing up? Surely they couldn't be waiting for her to come home. It had been a long time since either one of them had done that. But past experiences had long taught her that when being grilled by her parents, it was best not to ask questions. That would only get her into more trouble.
"Dad, I'm almost eighteen,"
That statement had become like a mantra to her in recent months.
"I know," said Han with a sigh. "A statement that has been pointed out to me by you and Jacen so many times the words have lost most of their effect,"
She wanted to know what was really bothering them. They had never made this big of a deal about her coming home late before.
"If you're finished interrogating me, I'm going to bed,"
That was the excuse she used to get out of the room, and neither one of her parents tried to stop her.
She did intend to go to bed, but decided to stop by the kitchen first and grab something to eat. She hadn't eaten since lunch that day and it was finally catching up with her.
"I thought you were going to bed," said Leia, coming up behind her.
"I am," Jaina said, as she sifted through the food in the fridge. "I'm just getting something to eat,"
"How's Ganner?"
Jaina stood up so fast she barely missed hitting her head on the freezer door. "Mother, were you listening to our conversation?" She accused.
"No, I wasn't. I felt you approach the apartment and then he showed up. I wouldn't invade your privacy like that,"
"I'm glad to hear that,"
"You didn't answer my question,"
"You just said you wouldn't invade my privacy," Jaina reminded her.
"It was a simple question. After I heard you two arguing the other day – "
"You were listening in on us then?"
"Jaina, it was kind of hard not to with the two of you carrying on the way you were,"
"Mom, I don't really want to talk about Ganner," she looked at her mother questioningly and said, "how do you know about us anyways?"
Leia smiled. "I'm a mother. It's my job,"
"And you're not going to try and tell me he's too old for me?"
"I'm the last person who should be telling you not to date older men,"
That was true. There was nearly an eleven-year age gap between her parents. And Jaina was almost the age her mother had been when she had met her father for the first time.
"If you don't want to talk about Ganner, maybe we should we talk about Zekk,"
She used her best diplomatic voice, but Jaina wasn't a senator, and no matter how inviting her mother's voice sounded she was not going to talk to her about Zekk.
She closed the fridge then. The mentioning of the two men in her life served to squash the appetite she had seconds early. "I don't want to talk about him either. Zekk and I are history,"
"History has a way of repeating itself if you're not careful,"
"Don't worry, it won't," Jaina said confidently.
"It seems obvious to me the way you've acted this past week shows you still care about Zekk a great deal. And if it's that obvious to your own mother, how do you think it looks to Ganner?"
Jaina stared at her mother but said nothing.
Leia stood in front of her daughter and placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "Jaina, if you're trying to punish Zekk for leaving you by being with Ganner, you're only punishing yourself if Zekk's the one you want to be with." She stopped, waiting for Jaina to look at her before continuing. "It's not fair to either one of them and it's not worth it if you're going to spend the rest of your life regretting it,"
She left Jaina alone to think about her words, hoping her daughter would follow her advice for once, and not be as stubborn as she so often proved to be.