Lightning flickered across the canvas of the sky, accompanied by a clap of thunder. It looked oddly out of place in the bright sunlight of the morn.

Zeus brandished the lightning and removed Demeter's teeth from Hades' shoulder rather roughly. "Enough!" He adjusted his toupee. "Now... what seems to be the problem?"

Demeter shot Hades a dirty look and placed one hand possessively on her daughter's shoulder. Perhaps 'gripped' would be a more apt description. "/Your/ freak of a brother is trying to regain /your/ daughter," she began snappishly, shifting the black look to Zeus. "What exactly to you plan to do about it?" Freak.

Zeus shifted uneasily. "He's /your/ brother too," the god pointed out. He looked nervous, Hermes noticed from Olympus. Maybe he was scared of Demeter too. Being on the mountain sure beat being down with the threesome.

For a moment, Demeter appeared as though she'd like to grab Zeus' lightning bolt and skewer him with it. Directly after she'd impaled Hades, that is. With commendable patience, the goddess did neither. "Whatever. Your brother, my brother, either way, you tell him to get his slimy-dead hands off my daughter, or I kill everyone on Earth."

Zeus cleared his throat nervously. "Err, yes'm." Wouldn't be much of a god without any worshippers. He attempted to summon a commanding voice and turned to address his brother. "Hades. You will leave Persephone and her mother in peace. Are we clear? Grea-"

Hades finally broke in, voice unusually smug. "I think not, oh great sib, for there is something you don't know. Persephone partook of several pomegranate seeds! She is legitimately mine."

Demeter snorted. "Oh yeah, try the old ate-the-food-of-the-dead story. Come on; give us one we haven't heard before! It's right off the Lame-O Meter."

Persephone cleared her throat timidly. "Um... Mom?"

Turning her attention to Persephone, Demeter announced eloquently, "Crap," and looked semi-hopeful, "You didn't /really/, did you?"

"Well, um, kinda.. just a little." Persephone looked away, sheepishly. "I only had six seeds."

"Quit looking so damn pleased with yourself, Hades," Demeter growled at Hades. "I don't give a damn what she ate, she's still mine and she'll be with me or everyone will die."

Hades pondered that a moment. "Ooo. That means more guests for me!"

"You bast-" Demeter was cut off by the flash of lightning.

"ENOUGH!" Zeus roared, sounding bizarrely authoritative, for once. "I will tell you both how this is going to work, and you will both say yes sir and shut up. Got it?" He did not wait for a response. "Six seeds. Persephone will spend a month in the Underworld for each seed eaten. The other months, she will be with Demeter."

No, piglet, that would not be a good plan. Neither Demeter nor Hades particularly liked this idea, and broke in angrily with their dissension immediately. They were interrupted by another flash of lighting that destroyed a nearby tree.

"Err, that plan sounds great," Hades quickly amended, bowing his head respectfully to Zeus in a "you're the alpha-dog" way.

For Demeter, the decision took a moment longer. Disdaining to bow her head or drop a curtsey, the goddess' expression transformed from enraged to icy. "Very well. But the Earth will be barren during those months."

Knowing better than to argue with her, Zeus simply nodded. "It's settled. She will stay on Earth for the first half year. Hermes will be here to escort her to Hades in six months time."

Hermes sighed. "Bloody hell."