Chapter 2
They are finally gone… and how do I feel? Scared and violated. That's how. I mean they died in their own house, my house… How could I have slept and let them die such deaths? I should have heard the screaming from wither my aunt or uncle. Dudley was so burned by the 'acid' that the fat was melted off. I am finally able to be by myself and no I don't want to be. The good thing is that a professor came to get me. It was Professor Snape, but still he seemed nicer to me then before, so I don't get it. I wonder if he knows anything and just not telling or what.
I am not one to keep a diary, but I had to write this down, if my life continues like this then I will need this entire book to hand off to somebody. Mr. Weasley had contacted me about staying with them, but I knew Ron didn't want me there. He was acting strange all year and now I don't even see him before this year. I think Hermione finally got to him. That's right… they are a real couple. I just hope nothing happens to them. If anything does I'll never forgive myself. However what do they care? I feel left out; maybe it would have been justified if I went into Slytherin.
Ever wondered what you'd do if you had that one choice to relive? What would your live have been like sort of thing, well I wonder if I would be this left out if I were in Slytherin. I wish that I had taken Draco's hand instead of scoffing at him. Maybe then I wouldn't feel this hollow. Then again I would be a Slytherin… Snape would have liked me then. Maybe he wouldn't be so strange then, but what about my parents? Would they have loved me then? No they would have been ashamed. They never would have loved me then. But then I would have friends who faked caring.
I'll talk to Draco when he comes to school; maybe there is still a chance. Dumbledore has informed Sirius about the deaths, he is to find out what ever he can. So while he is away I need to stay in the castle, and if I leave I need to have Snape with me. Snape is acting weird, like he pities me I don't understand it, maybe I should talk to him. Right now I am in my summer room. It's nice but there is black around it for mourning. I don't know why I bother. They never cared for me and I never cared for them, I never wanted them dead but I can't change that now. Dumbledore says I should sleep and get over my shock. I had fainted when I heard, and I was out for three days… I am not tired in the slightest. I don't think he gets that. I don't have any real windows, so I charmed the mirror to look like the sky outside. I am in a tower, but I don't know which one, I am not allowed to know until I am over the shock. I don't feel anything right now except quilt. If I wasn't born then they would be safe and alive, and my parents would have chosen a safer spell. I wish I had died from Voldemort's attack.
Have you ever had the feeling that someone was watching you? I have it now, but there is no one else in the room. I know that for a fact. Dumbledore had refused to allow anyone near me right now. I don't understand him at all. He still is one of the nicest men I have met but he is also acting strange. I don't know how my Family died but I think he does. All I know is that there was acid that ate away the fat on Dudley's body, I had to identify him. The weird thing is Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had small bite marks all over them, but there was nothing to bite them.
I should know I have been cleaning that house from top to bottom, the spiders that had once lived in the closet had all been taken outside so they wouldn't scare Dudley. I made sure there were no bugs, spiders, or creatures (besides me) in the house. I wish Ron and Hermione were with me. I would be able to watch over them then. I have a feeling that the Dursley death wasn't by my wishing it. I didn't ever want them dead, but I wanted to be rid of them. I feel terrible. I need to take a shower. I guess that should take my mind off it.
Half way through the shower someone is knocking on my door. I step out and wrap a towel around me. I go to the door and who else would it be but Dumbledore? Snape? Yeah right. Well it is Dumbledore, he looks very upset. I let him enter and he tries to smile but the gleam in his eyes is gone, and I fear what it means. "Can I help you sir?" I had asked. He takes a seat by my desk and places a book on it, the one I happen to be writing in.
"I brought this so you could get your feelings out." He is staring at the mirror. "Your happy to be able to do magic now aren't you?" I nod. He had gotten permission for me to use magic here at Hogwarts over the summer. "I need to tell you something and I want you to finish your shower before I tell you." I do as he asks but I feel weird. Why did it have to wait?
If you knew how I was when under pressure then you'd think I was someone else. Normally I am calm until it's over then I can feel the panic that sets in. This is different. I am feeling the panic now, not later. It is totally backwards. After I finish and dry off I pull on the pajamas that I was given I walk into my bedroom. Dumbledore seems to be writing a letter, and I wait for him to finish.
"Sirius found out what happened, and he is now looking for the killer." I look up into his eyes. He is going to tell me. "You know that a ministry official found small magical objects in your room?" I nod, I know all about them. "I want to know where you got them Harry."
"I thought they were from you or another teacher." I gasp. I had thought that they had noticed what shape I came back to school in. There were several gifts that I had started to depend on. Like the draft of living dead. I took that three times a week. One of them being the night my family was killed. "They were from a teacher right?"
"No Harry. We have no idea who they are from. I got a letter from the killer and he called himself/herself you protective phantom. Any idea who might want to protect you so badly they'd kill your family?"
"Sirius, wouldn't risk his freedom like that… The Weasley family has too much to lose, and Hermione knows better. So no one comes to mind. Sorry." He nods and tells me to rest. "You know something that you're not telling me."
"I'll tell you tomorrow Harry." He exits and relocks the door. I can open it but others can't. I can't sleep so I start to write in my book. After I wrote what I needed to I pulled out a sheet of parchment and was about to write to Ron when suddenly there was a letter to me from the killer.
I swear to protect you Harry. Promise me you'll trust me, promise me when I ask for it you'll love me. Everyone who has harmed you will die. tell me whom.
My hand wrote out a short list. * my family, wormtail, Voldemort, Dudley's friends, the death eaters…* the last one I tried to stop but it still came out. * Ron Weasley. * I gasped when I realized I was under imperious. *Please stop. * I knew it would do little good but he can't kill Ron. *Who are you? *
One who loves you. Harry take the potion I gave you. You need your sleep. Just Remember that I will never harm you. Everything I did was just for you. Sleep my angel, we have things to do, you to sleep and me murders to commit. I love you Harry. Never forget that everything done is in you honor and for you alone. Sleep Now!
I could tell that he was gone. I watched as the door flew open and then shut again. I wondered how he did that… because I was the only one who could open it. Well maybe it's anyone on the inside of the room. That I find odd. I began to write in my diary again, and prayed that Ron would be ok. He is everything to me, and I can't let him die. He really didn't hurt me but my hand just wrote it. Now I wonder why I didn't write Draco Malfoy? I guess it was because I hurt him first. I didn't know it then but I do now, I am the one who started the whole thing. I refused to be his friend, and there for hurt him. I really need to talk to him about it.
*Dear Ron, Hey I need to warn you… There is this weirdo that may try to kill you, because he thinks you hurt me… I have no idea who it is but I needed to warn you. Please be very careful and don't so anything stupid like normal… I am at Hogwarts and I'll see you when school starts.
Harry. *
I gave the letter to Hedwig, and she flew off with it, I just hope it is in time. I had the sudden feeling of dread, and knew that I needed my sleep as much as I couldn't sleep. I laid down and took the potion. I needed this. He was right. The reason I know it is a man, women aren't that violent. They also don't smell the way that person did. They smell flowery and citric, not like herbs, and honey butter. I know that smell; I just can't put it to a face.
I wonder who it is. Could it be someone I know very well? I hope not.