Disclaimer in Part 1
Part 2:
John looked around Kitty's humble, one room apartment. "I can't stay here."
"Of course you can. The shower's hot, the bed's soft,"
"Jubilee's leaving," Kitty shooed her friend out the door. "I'll call you
tomorrow," she assured Jubilee as the door clinked shut.
"Kitty, I really can't stay," John apologized.
"I know it's small, but I can share. I'm willing to share. My apartment, my
vote. You're staying," Kitty was absolutely insistant.
"It's useless to argue?" John asked.
"Completely. Now, make yourself at home," Kitty offered, sitting on the
floor, and patting the ground next to her.
"Thanks," John accepted the offered 'seat'. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, anything."
"What happened Kitty? Why did you change? What changed?" John asked meeting
her eyes. Kitty stared at the ground, and drew a pattern on the dusty
concrete.
"Anything but that," Kitty whispered.
"Okay, I'm sorry," John began to stand.
"Johnny stop. Sit back down. I'll tell you, I'll try to tell you what
happened," Kitty offered.
"You don't have to, really," John assured her.
"We really have grown up you know," Kitty told him. "You probably can't see
it. Jubes, well she hides it well, and me. I've always had a knack for
turning the hurt into an aura of shyness and mystery."
"I know things change Kit."
"Yeah, well, we didn't. I guess growing up we always just sort of figured
we'd be like Scott and Jean, staying in the mansion. Forever. Sometimes it
skips a generation, the Dream I mean. We've all worked so hard, given up so
much. But Scott and Jean, the Proffesor I guess they can see the good it's
doing," Kitty met John's eyes, they seemed so hurt, "but I can't see it.
They'll always be my friends, my family, but, I can't live in the dream. I
sacrificed too much, too early."
"What? What did you give up that hurt so much?" John asked.
"I know it's been a long time, but, have you ever been able to say no to the
Professor? 'Cause I couldn't and that's why I had to leave, to get control
of my life."
"I don't follow, sorry Kitty," John apologized. Kitty brushed him off.
"Remember Pitor? He was my first, I guess my only, love. We had some bad
times, his sister got sick, the Legacy Virus. When she died he was angry,
hurt, destructive. The Proffesor came to me. He was worried about Pitor
destroying the Dream. He asked me to end it with Pitor, get Pitor out of the
mansion away from me, away from all of us. I couldn't say no." Kitty paused
and wiped tears from her eyes. "Anyway, Pitor became an Alcolyte, and after
that the Proffesor founded Mass Acad, and I finally got angry and left. I
guess that's pretty much it."
"Kit, I've always thought the Dream was too big, too ambitious. We were
children indoctrinated into saving the world. You aren't the only one who
felt overwhelmed, look at how I handled my piece of the dream," John drew
his friend into a hug.
"I feel guilty. I want to help, it's a good goal the Professor has, it's
just too much." Kitty rose and looked out the window into the grimy, gray
city. "I had to leave. I had to get enough distance from the Professor to be
able to say 'no'."
"I get it Kitty," St. John came up behind her. "Of all people I understand.
Scott and Jean, they've always been able to say 'no'. They respect the
Professor, but they don't idolize him. We were raised to see Xavier as a
god. Our omniscent dictator, father figure, idol, savior. He saved us all.
How could we ever say 'no' to God?"
"Yeah. That's it exactly," Kitty leaned back into St. John's arms. "We are
Xavier's prodigal children aren't we?"
"I guess so," John was silent for a while, breathing in Kitty's scent and
enjoying the feel of her in his arms. "Kit?" He whispered.
"Yes Johnny?" She asked turning in his arms and looking up at him.
"I, I'm really glad you found me," He told her and leaned closer.
"Me too," Kitty's lips met St. John's. They embraced each other tightly,
willing each other to stay close. As the kiss ended, Kitty said fiercely,
"Don't you dare leave again." Her eyes were bright with tears.
"I won't Kitten, promise," St. John was surprised at how quickly he knew he
had to stay. With her. "Kit? I love you." Kitty caught her breath.
"I love you too, Johnny. God I missed you," She rested her head on his
chest.
"You were the only way I made it through the nights with Mystique," St. John
confessed.
They stood silently, entertwined and staring at the city, for a long time.
The light lengthened into shadow, and eventually St. John's stomache
groweled. Kitty laughed and pressed her hand against his stomache.
"I'll make dinner," she suggested, and walked across the room to turn on the
lights.
"Wait. Where do you keep the candles?" St. John asked. Kitty laughed softly
and grinned. She opened the pantry and handed him a battered box full of
half used candles.
"There're some more in the bathroom." As John began to arrange candles,
Kitty browsed through her cupboards. "Hmm."
"Hmm, what Kitten?" St. John asked.
"How do you feel about macaroni and cheese?" Kitty asked.
"Sounds great," John turned and smiled at her in the candlelight.
They ate macaroni out of Kitty's one pot, surrounded by candles carefully
controlled by St. John.
"This is, nice," Kitty sighed contentedly.
"Yeah, I can't remember the last time I felt this way," John admitted.
"Me either."
They cleaned the pot and utensils side by side in Kitty's sink. John wrapped
a soappy arm around Kitty's neck. She nuzzled his hand gently, and then more
urgently.
"Johnny," she whispered. He took her in his arms, kissing her urgently,
passionately. He'd never loved anyone like this. They moved across Kitty's
apartment, never letting go of each other.
When they had both caught their breath, John rolled off of Kitty and felt
her cuddle close to him before falling into an exhausted sleep.
Part 2:
John looked around Kitty's humble, one room apartment. "I can't stay here."
"Of course you can. The shower's hot, the bed's soft,"
"Jubilee's leaving," Kitty shooed her friend out the door. "I'll call you
tomorrow," she assured Jubilee as the door clinked shut.
"Kitty, I really can't stay," John apologized.
"I know it's small, but I can share. I'm willing to share. My apartment, my
vote. You're staying," Kitty was absolutely insistant.
"It's useless to argue?" John asked.
"Completely. Now, make yourself at home," Kitty offered, sitting on the
floor, and patting the ground next to her.
"Thanks," John accepted the offered 'seat'. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, anything."
"What happened Kitty? Why did you change? What changed?" John asked meeting
her eyes. Kitty stared at the ground, and drew a pattern on the dusty
concrete.
"Anything but that," Kitty whispered.
"Okay, I'm sorry," John began to stand.
"Johnny stop. Sit back down. I'll tell you, I'll try to tell you what
happened," Kitty offered.
"You don't have to, really," John assured her.
"We really have grown up you know," Kitty told him. "You probably can't see
it. Jubes, well she hides it well, and me. I've always had a knack for
turning the hurt into an aura of shyness and mystery."
"I know things change Kit."
"Yeah, well, we didn't. I guess growing up we always just sort of figured
we'd be like Scott and Jean, staying in the mansion. Forever. Sometimes it
skips a generation, the Dream I mean. We've all worked so hard, given up so
much. But Scott and Jean, the Proffesor I guess they can see the good it's
doing," Kitty met John's eyes, they seemed so hurt, "but I can't see it.
They'll always be my friends, my family, but, I can't live in the dream. I
sacrificed too much, too early."
"What? What did you give up that hurt so much?" John asked.
"I know it's been a long time, but, have you ever been able to say no to the
Professor? 'Cause I couldn't and that's why I had to leave, to get control
of my life."
"I don't follow, sorry Kitty," John apologized. Kitty brushed him off.
"Remember Pitor? He was my first, I guess my only, love. We had some bad
times, his sister got sick, the Legacy Virus. When she died he was angry,
hurt, destructive. The Proffesor came to me. He was worried about Pitor
destroying the Dream. He asked me to end it with Pitor, get Pitor out of the
mansion away from me, away from all of us. I couldn't say no." Kitty paused
and wiped tears from her eyes. "Anyway, Pitor became an Alcolyte, and after
that the Proffesor founded Mass Acad, and I finally got angry and left. I
guess that's pretty much it."
"Kit, I've always thought the Dream was too big, too ambitious. We were
children indoctrinated into saving the world. You aren't the only one who
felt overwhelmed, look at how I handled my piece of the dream," John drew
his friend into a hug.
"I feel guilty. I want to help, it's a good goal the Professor has, it's
just too much." Kitty rose and looked out the window into the grimy, gray
city. "I had to leave. I had to get enough distance from the Professor to be
able to say 'no'."
"I get it Kitty," St. John came up behind her. "Of all people I understand.
Scott and Jean, they've always been able to say 'no'. They respect the
Professor, but they don't idolize him. We were raised to see Xavier as a
god. Our omniscent dictator, father figure, idol, savior. He saved us all.
How could we ever say 'no' to God?"
"Yeah. That's it exactly," Kitty leaned back into St. John's arms. "We are
Xavier's prodigal children aren't we?"
"I guess so," John was silent for a while, breathing in Kitty's scent and
enjoying the feel of her in his arms. "Kit?" He whispered.
"Yes Johnny?" She asked turning in his arms and looking up at him.
"I, I'm really glad you found me," He told her and leaned closer.
"Me too," Kitty's lips met St. John's. They embraced each other tightly,
willing each other to stay close. As the kiss ended, Kitty said fiercely,
"Don't you dare leave again." Her eyes were bright with tears.
"I won't Kitten, promise," St. John was surprised at how quickly he knew he
had to stay. With her. "Kit? I love you." Kitty caught her breath.
"I love you too, Johnny. God I missed you," She rested her head on his
chest.
"You were the only way I made it through the nights with Mystique," St. John
confessed.
They stood silently, entertwined and staring at the city, for a long time.
The light lengthened into shadow, and eventually St. John's stomache
groweled. Kitty laughed and pressed her hand against his stomache.
"I'll make dinner," she suggested, and walked across the room to turn on the
lights.
"Wait. Where do you keep the candles?" St. John asked. Kitty laughed softly
and grinned. She opened the pantry and handed him a battered box full of
half used candles.
"There're some more in the bathroom." As John began to arrange candles,
Kitty browsed through her cupboards. "Hmm."
"Hmm, what Kitten?" St. John asked.
"How do you feel about macaroni and cheese?" Kitty asked.
"Sounds great," John turned and smiled at her in the candlelight.
They ate macaroni out of Kitty's one pot, surrounded by candles carefully
controlled by St. John.
"This is, nice," Kitty sighed contentedly.
"Yeah, I can't remember the last time I felt this way," John admitted.
"Me either."
They cleaned the pot and utensils side by side in Kitty's sink. John wrapped
a soappy arm around Kitty's neck. She nuzzled his hand gently, and then more
urgently.
"Johnny," she whispered. He took her in his arms, kissing her urgently,
passionately. He'd never loved anyone like this. They moved across Kitty's
apartment, never letting go of each other.
When they had both caught their breath, John rolled off of Kitty and felt
her cuddle close to him before falling into an exhausted sleep.