Notes: We still own nothing! No Fushigi Yuugi for us! Ehem. Huffpuff here. My turn to do the author note, so here I am. Let me see. That insane teacher from the last chapter was somewhat based on one that I had in real life. That is to say, the streak/creep episode, complete with pantomime demonstration really did happen. In fact, for creep, he even went so far as to mention that if he stripped in an all-girls' school, then he would 'creep' rather than 'streak'. Why, I really don't know. It was scary. Fortunately, he was a sub, so I wasn't stuck with him for more than a day. And he never had any involvement with tessens, that I know of—that was all from the twisted minds of TA Maxwell and Huffpuff! Just had to share my traumatic experience with you. Now, on with our story!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tasuki awoke, clutching his head. Encountering Taiitsukun at that hour last night had given him something far worse than a hangover. Still though, it seemed like it had been nothing more than a bad dream. Or at least that's what he hoped as he awoke.
"Kuso!" Tasuki cried, as he reached for his tessen. She sent it to another dimension... What am I gonna do now? Tasuki thought. Once the others hear about this...oh shit....Tama's not gonna let up! Maybe she was just kidding. I mean, she wouldn't really send the tessen away, would she? What if Kutou attacks and we need it? Maybe she was just messing with me, and I'll go downstairs and find it on the kitchen counter. Wait a second...we're thinking about Sunukake Baba...the old hag wouldn't mess around...Kuso!! I've got to do something about this before the others get up. How am I gonna find it now? Well, next to me, Kouji is the one who knows the most about the tessen. Maybe he'd have some idea about where it went. How convenient that he's here at the palace right now. I'll just have to go and ask him.
Tasuki forced himself out of his bed, groaning slightly with his headache. (clean mind fangirls. he's got pajamas on =P) As he crept down the hall towards Kouji's room, he heard some very odd noises emanating from Chiriko's room at the other end of the hallway.
"Oh, yeah! That's what I want to do! Nothing can stop me now!" Chiriko cried.
"Well, not if I take your piece first," Mitsukake's voice replied.
"But you could not have foreseen me taking your rook from the rear," Chiriko replied excitedly.
Tasuki sweatdropped (because we know he IS an anime character, unlike River and Anjali, who are not!). Rook? That's an odd name for it. I don't even wanna know, Tasuki thought, hurrying away to Kouji's room. I mean, Mitsukake and Chiriko? That's just...wrong. And is that even possible? Tasuki thought, considering their size differential. Tasuki shuddered at the mental image. Meanwhile, inside Chiriko's room, he and Mitsukake continued their chess match.
Tasuki knocked on Kouji's door, which was closed. Slightly traumatized by the 'lovely' visions dancing in his head, he waited in silence for Kouji. After a minute, he spoke. "It's Genrou. Can I come in?"
There was a long pause and a few rustling sounds. "Hai," Kouji replied.
"What took ya so long?" Tasuki asked, walking into the room.
"Why Genrou, I thought that you knew that I slept in the nude," Kouji said, smirking. Kouji knew that making jokes about Genrou fancying him was a sure path to annoyance.
More lovely visions for Gen-chan. (Reow...more lovely visions for fangirls. =P) "Since when?" Tasuki asked, thinking back to when they'd shared a room at Mount Reikaku, when they'd both still been newly-minted bandits.
"Well, ever since you stopped sharing a room with me. Especially with all of the feminine company that I tend to have."
Tasuki secretly breathed a sigh of relief, until he took in the rest of Kouji's statement. "What is it with making me imagine things that I don't ever wanna see today?"
"I'm not trying to make you imagine anything," Kouji said. "But who else gave you something to imagine today?" Surprisingly, Kouji liked to keep abreast of the palace gossip.
"Mitsukake and Chiriko..." Tasuki said, shuddering. "I overheard them..."
"Overheard them?" Kouji asked, unable to imagine where this could be going. (Can you blame him? Chiriko's still a kid.)
"Doing...stuff..." Genrou said, looking even more disgusted.
Kouji's jaw dropped. "You're kidding, right??" Tasuki shook his head frantically. Kouji grinned with an idea to haunt Tasuki's mind more. "Well, you know which one's gotta be on top. The big guy would squish the kid otherwise."
Tasuki covered his eyes. "Why do I even tell things like this to a pervert like you? Thanks a lot for putting that picture into my head, Kouji!"
"Anytime, Genrou. So, did you come down here just to tell me about your fornicatin' friends?"
"BAD-MENTAL-IMAGES!!" Tasuki slapped his hands over his ears.
"Are you jealous or something? Maybe you wanted the big guy for yourself," Kouji teased.
"Dammit Kouji!! I'm gonna Rekka Shinen your ass!!" Tasuki shouted before he realized...he couldn't.
Kouji caught sight of the forlorn look on Tasuki's face and stopped teasing him. "What's wrong, Genrou?"
"Um...I...lost...." Tasuki forced himself to say. "It...yeah, lost it..."
"Congratulations, Genrou! I'm so glad to hear that you're no longer a virgin! We should go out for a drink! So, who's the lucky lady? Or is it a fellow? Is that why you're so upset?" Kouji asked, unable to resist teasing Genrou further.
"DAMMIT KOUJI I MEANT THE TESSEN!!"
"You lost the tessen?!" Kouji asked, his jaw dropping. "I always knew that something like this was going to happen. I knew Hakurou made the wrong decision! But how could you be so careless with it?"
"It wasn't my fault! Taiitsukun-"
"So that's who the lucky lady was...wow, who knew you'd sink so low!" Kouji had been unable to resist.
"When I get it back, friend or not, I'm gonna Rekka Shinen your ass..."
"'Knock. Knock.' 'Who's there?' 'It's Genrou.' 'Genrou who?' 'Genrou, the baka who lost the leader's tessen.'"
"No, seriously, your ass is getting fried..."
"That's if you ever get it back, ne? I can't say that I'm too worried. What are you going to do to me--run in here with a candle and try to light me on fire?"
"Oh, I can take you any day, Kouji, tessen or no tessen," Tasuki said, thwapping Kouji.
"Be nice to your elders!" Kouji thwapped him back.
We're sure by now that you readers can tell where this is going--straight into a thwapfest. And a noisy one at that. Before long, Kouji and Tasuki were rolling around the hallway, thwapping each other repeatedly. (Keep the clean minds kiddies, not THAT kind of rolling.)
Meanwhile, Tamahome was walking down the hallway from the other direction, singing at the top of his lungs as he carried the neat stacks of coins that he had just counted.
"tooku kikoete'ru yo
yoake no kehai ga suru
douyara kateta rashii
kurushii
tatakai ni
mata—"
Tamahome's song was rudely interrupted when he was bowled over by a ball of thwapping bandits, who took no notice of his presence. His lower lip trembled as his precious coins went flying everywhere. A moment later, the ogre symbol on his forehead began to glow. At the sound of ryu hitting the wood, the two bandits froze.
"Uh, I think that Tamahome might want to have a few words with you, Genrou," Kouji said, backing away.
"You started it..." Tasuki dove behind his older blue haired friend.
"Hey, if you hadn't lost the tessen, this wouldn't be a problem," Kouji replied, pushing Tasuki in front of him again.
Tamahome paused. "What was that Kouji?" His hair fell down around his shoulders again.
Then Kouji peeked out and to catch sight of Tamahome's slightly evil grin, and clapped his hand over his mouth. "Baka! What are you tryin' to do to me here?" Tasuki whispered over his shoulder.
"You...lost the tessen?" Tamahome's grin widened.
"'Course not. What kind of an idiot do you take me for?" Tasuki asked, trying to sound arrogantly confident.
"Which means...you're unarmed...." Tamahome continued.
"You are so dead Kouji..." Tasuki whispered.
"It's your own fault in the first place."
"This is great!! There's nothing you can do to me since you know I can whoop your ass any day!" (flashback to the episode with Evil Tamahome)
That's it. Traumatizing time...Tasuki thought to himself. "Well, the only reason I lost it was because I flamed Taiitsukun while she was crawling through the palace looking for you."
"Nani?!"
Bingo. "Yeah, she was looking for you so she could *ahem* you."
"And Miaka told me that she's fine with it," Kouji added, smirking at Tasuki.
"So long as she doesn't have to watch. It might spoil her appetite or something," Tasuki added, smirking back at Kouji.
BAM! Tamahome's head hit the floor in a dead faint.
"Let's get outta here before he comes to," Genrou said, making a run for the stairs.
"Just a second. I wanna see how he looks in Miaka's lipstick," Kouji said, sliding a tube of hot pink lipstick from his pocket. "It wasn't really my color, but you know, it really might work well with his complexion."
"So that's where it went..." Tasuki said. "Miaka was lookin' for that, you know. You'd better get rid of it before we get downstairs, or you'll have to deal with her on your own."
"All right," Kouji said, smiling to himself, as he slipped the lipstick into Tamahome's pocket.
"Let's get goin' before the bottomless pit clears the breakfast table."
"I'm right behind you," Kouji said, following his fiery friend.
The two bandits hurried into the dining room, to find all of the other seishi there, save themselves and Tamahome. Tasuki blanched when they caught sight of Mitsukake and Chiriko sitting next to each other.
Kouji's grin widened. "So, who enjoyed themselves this morning?"
"What have you two been up to? There was a lot of noise up there a few minutes ago," Nuriko said, eyeing the bandits.
Noticing Tasuki cringing, Kouji took it upon himself to speak. "Just the same thing Mitsukake and Chiriko were involved with." Tasuki looked like he was gonna be sick as he glared at Kouji.
"It sounded like you two were rolling around on the floor, no da..." Chichiri said questioningly.
"Well, sorta..." Kouji replied, grinning fiendishly at Tasuki.
"Hitting each other. That's it." Tasuki spoke quickly.
"You see, then, you are wrong. We played only in the comfort of my room," Chiriko interjected. "And really, you don't need to be so violent about it."
"Played what?" Nuriko asked.
Everyone turned to stare at Chiriko in shock. "Don't tell me you were fighting, Chiriko," Hotohori added.
"Of course not," Mitsukake said. "I would never fight with Chiriko."
"We were playing quite a rousing game of chess, actually," Chiriko said.
"Chess? That's an interesting name…So that's what you guys call it..." Kouji said, acting intrigued.
"Chess? I didn't know you were into chess, Tasuki," Nuriko glanced at his star brother.
"I'm not..." Tasuki hissed.
"I was just kidding," Kouji said. "We had a little spat, that's all. We don't play with each other like Mitsukake and Chiriko do."
"Gee Tasuki...I guess I won't have to teach you, if you know how to I mean...I was gonna ask you tonight!" Chiriko stated.
Tasuki turned a peculiar shade of green. "You were gonna ask me?
"Hai!" Chiriko said eagerly. "Play chess with me, Tasuki! It's good and simple fun!"
"Chess. If that's what ya wanna call it," Tasuki mumbled to himself with a disturbed statement. Then he raised his voice. "Gomen, Chiriko, but I'm really not interested in chess. At all," Tasuki added emphatically, shuddering at the thought.
"Oh...Alright...I guess it'll be you and me again Mitsukake." Chiriko smiled up at his large friend. "Think Tama would want to try a paw at it?"
"Ta--tama?" Tasuki asked, grabbing the cat from Mitsukake. "I just can't let you do that!"
"Chichiri? Why does Tasuki look so disgusted?" Miaka asked.
"I don't quite know, but I'm getting some ideas no da..." Chichiri shuddered. "I just hope that I'm wrong."
"What's wrong with Chess, Tasuki? I mean, It's fun, despite being so simple. Even I get into it sometimes," Nuriko spoke between bites of food.
"Now that I can believe," Tasuki said under his breath.
"And the moves get more complicated, the more advanced your skills become," Chiriko added.
"Mitsukake is a really fast learner. I've only been teaching him for a few months, but he's caught on really quickly."
Tasuki sweatdropped. "He taught you?" he asked, turning to Mitsukake.
"Of course...he is the genius. And very talented at it."
"Even I like to play now and then," Hotohori said. "Really? I never knew. Well, we'll have to get together sometime and see how we match up," Chiriko said.
"You know, I'd love to play with some other partners," Mitsukake said. "It could really help me improve my skills. Chiriko is so good that I rarely get to catch any mistakes on his part."
"But when he does, he really makes me pay for them," Chiriko replied with a smile.
S&M?????!!!! Aieeeeeeee!!! Tasuki thought, as he fainted. Kouji himself looked a little green around the gills, and Chichiri just kept looking from Mitsukake to Hotohori to Chiriko and back again, cringing and shaking his head.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYBODY?!" Miaka yelled.
"Please don't ask Miaka no da..." Chichiri continued shaking his head.
"Nothing," Kouji added, rising from the table and backing away. "I'd better get Genrou upstairs so he can lie down."
"It's just chess, Miaka. I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it," Nuriko said, shaking his head. Now, there's something you might want to get worked up about," Nuriko added, as Tamahome walked into the room, his mouth still smeared with bright pink lipstick.
Chiriko, oblivious to Tamahome's entrance, dug into his pocket. "Maybe I should have shown them this." He held up a single pawn. "Mitsukake lost to this little guy!" Unfortunately, the only one who noticed Chiriko's gesture was Mitsukake, who smiled and nodded.
"My lipstick!!!" Miaka screamed. "Tamahome!!! How a could you steal my lipstick?! And then, you show up, wearing it yourself?!"
"Miaka, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Tamahome cried, running away from the pissed-off miko.
Miaka pursued him. "Miaka is just so full of energy today," Hotohori said, smiling wistfully. Nuriko and the others sweatdropped.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Chiriko teach Tasuki how to play Chess?!
Will Miaka get revenge for her lipstick?!
Will Tasuki EVER get the tessen back?!
And What WILL happen to it now that it's in the hands of the teacher?!
Who are the perverts mentioned in the chapter title?!
Tasuki and Kouji?! Chiriko and Mitsukake?! TA and HuffPuff?!(probably then)
TA: Nuriko!!
Nuriko: ^_^. Innocent