Prologue
I find myself wondering all the time. "What if?" What if this and what if that. "What if.?" What it all comes down to is that the "what ifs," don't matter. What done is done and no "what ifs," will ever change that. So.whatever.
After our victory over Ultimecia I thought for the first time in my life everything would be right. Things after 17 years would finally fall into place and my puzzle wouldn't have missing pieces anymore. I bitterly found out that life is more fickle then a stupid puzzle and a hellova a lot harder to put together, but I guess I always knew that. It's just that after I met her I never wanted to believe that again.
The gang sort of dispersed a little after our last battle. Some by choice, others by demand and commitment. Selphie went back to Trabia Garden to help with reconstruction. She never came back. Irvine was officially made a SeeD. He, after Selphie left, went back to the Galbadia Garden. Where he's under the command of Seifer, who's the general there. Ironic was the word that came to mind when I heard that, but who am I to say? It's none of my business. I believe that Selphie and Irvine still talk, but that none of my business either. Zell is still a SeeD at Balamb Garden where he's under the command of Quistis who was promoted to general. Then there was Rinoa. I've made some unbelievably idiotic mistakes throughout my life. Letting her go was by far my biggest, and the consequence was the hardest to bear. Not a single muscle in my body didn't yearn for her, and it just got worse with every passing moment. She meant, no, she was everything to me. Maybe my biggest mistake wasn't letting her go, but never telling her that.
Rinoa was called to Galbadia soon after our battle with Ultimecia with responsibilities to lead the country as sorceress. I'll remember our conversation the day she left till the day I take my last breath.
"This goes beyond sorceress Adel or even Ultimecia. This is what I have to do," Rinoa told me.
"This isn't what I want. This isn't what I need," Rinoa looks right at me and into my heart. "You realize this is more then a responsibility or an obligation. Lives are depending on it. Depending on someone is a mighty powerful thing."
"I know," I told her and I did know. I knew all to well.
"Then you'll let me go without. without a fight?" She choked the last part out tears where running down her face.
I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't. I stood there still as a rock just looking at her. She had her bag already packed and was ready for the station.
"It's not a forever goodbye," she was telling herself just as much as she was telling me. I didn't say anything.
"Well.goodbye then," she takes steps towards the door. I grab her by the arm.
"Rinoa.don't.like when you where going to the sorceress memorial." She broke me off.
"This time is different," she gave me a gently kiss on the forehead. With the kind of gentleness that Rinoa was known for the gentleness that made her so incredible. I let go of her arm.
"Fine;" and turn my back on her. I didn't have the strength to face her at that moment. I hear her go towards the door then stop.
"You know Squall when you open your heart things just come naturally," she said with valediction then left.
From the moment that she left the room my heart actually burned with pain. It took me a little while to realize that I couldn't live with that burn. I bolted out the door and ran like hell to the train station.
I arrived at the station and found it empty. Everyone must have already boarded their train. Not all was lost, though, the trains where still there. I ran from train to train looking into the windows calling Rinoa's name. A station manager yelled at me to get off the tracks, but I didn't listen. I kept telling myself "I can't feel that burn! I don't want to be alone! I'm not letting her go!" I was still searching when three of the stations came and forced me off the tracks. The trains then began to move forward. It was then that I saw her. She had her face looking down towards her lap. I saw a blur of tears running down her beautiful face. I fell to my knees with my own tears coming down.
"Rinoa!" I cried out till the train was gone and so was she.
* * * * *
"Knock.knock," someone was at my door. I shook my head and put down the paper and answered the door.
"President Loire would like to see you," it was one of Laguna's secretaries. I nodded took one more glance at the cover picture on the paper then went to Laguna's office.
I find myself wondering all the time. "What if?" What if this and what if that. "What if.?" What it all comes down to is that the "what ifs," don't matter. What done is done and no "what ifs," will ever change that. So.whatever.
After our victory over Ultimecia I thought for the first time in my life everything would be right. Things after 17 years would finally fall into place and my puzzle wouldn't have missing pieces anymore. I bitterly found out that life is more fickle then a stupid puzzle and a hellova a lot harder to put together, but I guess I always knew that. It's just that after I met her I never wanted to believe that again.
The gang sort of dispersed a little after our last battle. Some by choice, others by demand and commitment. Selphie went back to Trabia Garden to help with reconstruction. She never came back. Irvine was officially made a SeeD. He, after Selphie left, went back to the Galbadia Garden. Where he's under the command of Seifer, who's the general there. Ironic was the word that came to mind when I heard that, but who am I to say? It's none of my business. I believe that Selphie and Irvine still talk, but that none of my business either. Zell is still a SeeD at Balamb Garden where he's under the command of Quistis who was promoted to general. Then there was Rinoa. I've made some unbelievably idiotic mistakes throughout my life. Letting her go was by far my biggest, and the consequence was the hardest to bear. Not a single muscle in my body didn't yearn for her, and it just got worse with every passing moment. She meant, no, she was everything to me. Maybe my biggest mistake wasn't letting her go, but never telling her that.
Rinoa was called to Galbadia soon after our battle with Ultimecia with responsibilities to lead the country as sorceress. I'll remember our conversation the day she left till the day I take my last breath.
"This goes beyond sorceress Adel or even Ultimecia. This is what I have to do," Rinoa told me.
"This isn't what I want. This isn't what I need," Rinoa looks right at me and into my heart. "You realize this is more then a responsibility or an obligation. Lives are depending on it. Depending on someone is a mighty powerful thing."
"I know," I told her and I did know. I knew all to well.
"Then you'll let me go without. without a fight?" She choked the last part out tears where running down her face.
I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't. I stood there still as a rock just looking at her. She had her bag already packed and was ready for the station.
"It's not a forever goodbye," she was telling herself just as much as she was telling me. I didn't say anything.
"Well.goodbye then," she takes steps towards the door. I grab her by the arm.
"Rinoa.don't.like when you where going to the sorceress memorial." She broke me off.
"This time is different," she gave me a gently kiss on the forehead. With the kind of gentleness that Rinoa was known for the gentleness that made her so incredible. I let go of her arm.
"Fine;" and turn my back on her. I didn't have the strength to face her at that moment. I hear her go towards the door then stop.
"You know Squall when you open your heart things just come naturally," she said with valediction then left.
From the moment that she left the room my heart actually burned with pain. It took me a little while to realize that I couldn't live with that burn. I bolted out the door and ran like hell to the train station.
I arrived at the station and found it empty. Everyone must have already boarded their train. Not all was lost, though, the trains where still there. I ran from train to train looking into the windows calling Rinoa's name. A station manager yelled at me to get off the tracks, but I didn't listen. I kept telling myself "I can't feel that burn! I don't want to be alone! I'm not letting her go!" I was still searching when three of the stations came and forced me off the tracks. The trains then began to move forward. It was then that I saw her. She had her face looking down towards her lap. I saw a blur of tears running down her beautiful face. I fell to my knees with my own tears coming down.
"Rinoa!" I cried out till the train was gone and so was she.
* * * * *
"Knock.knock," someone was at my door. I shook my head and put down the paper and answered the door.
"President Loire would like to see you," it was one of Laguna's secretaries. I nodded took one more glance at the cover picture on the paper then went to Laguna's office.