PART II | Chapter 4
The days were finally getting colder in Konoha. It had been a relief the sudden descent in temperatures, but her apartment was still warm from the previous days of sun. Gohama smiled as she saw a cloud of steam leave her mouth when she sighed at the cool breeze that freshened her cheeks. The day was beautiful, with a pale blue sky and frail light. There were no clouds, but the lower temperatures softened the bright colours of the Leaf, giving it a misty, comfortable tone. It was a quiet morning, with only some late children running for school or merchants opening shop filling the streets. The swift cool weather left families to stay inside their homes. The smoke from fireplaces drowned the Village with its cosy smoky scent. The feel of the streets was lifting her mood.
Gohama was headed towards the Hokage Tower to deliver another mission report. As she opened the door, a wave of warmth robbed her from the freshness of the winter morning. Today would be a good day to wander outdoors, even for ruthless training. Maybe one of the boys would want to spar with her.
"Morning, Iruka." she greeted with a bouncy voice.
He quirked an eyebrow at her and smiled. "Good morning, Gohama. Enjoying the cold, I see."
"This can barely be called cold." she said handing him a two page report.
"For us mere mortals it is." he looked over the cover "An A-rank. Hope it went well." he kept the report in a folder nominated A and grabbed an envelope from another carrier, handing it to her.
"We got a little beat up, but nothing worrisome." she received the money filled envelope.
"Are you coming to Ippon, tonight?"
"It's Friday, isn't it?" he nodded yes "I don't really feel like drowning in a crowd tonight. Some other day, maybe. See you around." she said turning around.
"See you around, Gohama."
Nothing like Iruka to keep someone in a good mood. She could already imagine her calm day laying on a branch somewhere or the Hokage Mountain, enjoying the dim sunrays and cool air. As she was walking towards the exit, a shiver ran down her spine, her hairs standing up in alarm at the sinister chakra. Danzo existed a room and was moving towards her. The slow and dragged ruffling of robes on wooden floor along the rhythmic thuds of a cane filled the quiet corridor. Gohama didn't want to meet the treacherous man and ruin her so uncharacteristically bright day. If she turned around, he would know she was running away, he probably had already sensed her. Gohama would never show how unsettled he made her. The curve of the corridor showed her the dark haired old man with bandages covering his eye and arm.
"Kyura-san." he greeted, his tongue rolling out the "r" with emphasis. She only nodded. "How have you been? Not getting into any trouble, I except?"
"I suspect you already know the answer to that question."
His throat made a deep dry growl that was probably meant as a chuckle, although his schooled expression didn't change.
"Is your team agreeable?"
"They have welcomed me kindly." she offered him a generic answer, believing he was asking another question.
"Do you think your skill is being well groomed in this team?" There it was.
"Perfectly."
"I see. When the Council discussed your placement, I was leaning towards a more ambitious position for you. I had thought that was what you are looking for. The Kyura bloodline limit should not be wasted."
"There's no need for you to be concerned about the Kyura blood."
He gave her a sly sneer. "Someone has to. If you'll excuse me, Kyura-san, I have an important meeting."
He passed too closely to her, his robes and chakra scraping against her skin. It released another cold shiver from her. The sound of a limp and cane continued throughout the circular corridor, echoing with menace and eeriness. Then the sound of a door opening and closing and the chakra signature was gone. She thanked the Hokage Tower for chakra insulating rooms. She started a quick pace towards the Hokage Mountain, not to relax as she had decided, but to think on his intentions with this planned encounter.
This time Gohama sat on the First's head. An annoyed sigh escaped her lips as she watched the peaceful Village under her and felt the gentle sun warm her cheeks. She had just wanted to enjoy the weather and not think at all. Obviously, life had a problem with her and always decided to either annoy or break her apart.
Danzo. What a fucking pain in the ass. She could not understand what he intended with her and his creepy plotting. However, after their little exchange, she no longer believed he planned to have her killed. At least, not now. Danzo was offering her something. He asked after her team, he toyed with her need to honour her clan. He wanted her either in ANBU or in Root. Still, Root was a long shot for her. At sixteen years old, it was difficult to brainwash someone into full submission and lack of willpower. Especially, Gohama. He must have studied how she confronted everyone that didn't surrender to her own wants. She was a spoiled brat, after all.
Maybe Danzo wanted her in ANBU as a pawn to his own little games. He had offered her that. He had even poked the Kyura bloodline limit prestige and manipulated her into accepting with her need to achieve it. It was obvious Danzo didn't care about the Kyura's honour, but only its power for himself. But ANBU was ANBU, it was worth the threat. There was nothing more ambitious in a shinobi's career other than the elite secret force. Suna had offered her that too and she had seriously considered it. Now she could have that and follow Uncle's wish of her staying with Konoha. Gohama knew he was dangerous, she would be making a deal with the devil, one who gave her the creeps. There was no better way of describing the vibe that permeated from his chakra. Still, she could stand that, she just had to be careful and smart. There was a risk of being sucked into treacherous quicksand, but how hard could it be? Just don't step on the sand.
There was too much uncertainty nagging on her. Why would he suddenly approach her five months after she came to Konoha? Why not in the beginning where she had no place? Not that she belonged somewhere now, but her team was working well and the three finally accepted her. And could she just leave her team? When Nikato had come around, Gohama had promised herself to put her duty above them. Was ANBU that much better? She had been improving in experience from fieldwork and taijutsu from sparring with Hansuke. Would her skill skyrocket that much in the elite force? Hansuke had been ANBU and he trained her well. Maybe there was no need to leave the team. They worked really well together, the last three months of missions had showed that. Good teamwork was essential to groom exemplar shinobi. But Gohama wasn't searching for exemplar, she was searching for greatness. Where did one begin to search for it? She had started in Konoha, after Uncle couldn't give her more, maybe Danzo could lead her on.
When the sky had turned completely dark, Gohama decided it was time to go back to her apartment. At dinnertime, the streets had more life than in the morning, even if it was colder. She was jumping from roof to roof, when a bubbly chakra signature popped up from the others. She hoped he would act his normal self and not be attentive of his surroundings.
"Gohama!"
Obviously the day that had started so perfectly well would turn around to stab her in the back. And now she was playing a weak little victim. Maddening days always did that to her. Gohama was in no mood to talk to anyone, she almost continued her way, but as he called again, she knew she couldn't ignore him.
"What do you want, Nikato?"
"Let's go to Yakiniku Q. I want to celebrate being out of the hospital!" he said settling his arm over her shoulder. She shrugged him off.
"You got out of the hospital two days ago and stayed there for three hours…"
"You're a killjoy, Kyura, worse than Kisamaru sometimes." he put his arm over her shoulders again "Come on, maybe you'll even meet some of our friends from the Academy."
She let her head fall back in exasperation, cradled by his arm. "I'm really in no mood for forced socialization."
"Please! I'll buy your drinks for the night, but only if it's sake or beer. My wallet can't hold whiskey."
"What's the catch, Kato-kun? Why do you want me so much?" she rolled her head to study him.
"Can't I just enjoy your company, Go-chan?" he gave her a silly grin.
"Try again."
He rubbed his forehead with the back of his other hand. "Well, you see… there's this really hot—" she jabbed him in the ribs "cute, I mean, cute girl and I've been trying to get her attention, but it's kinda not going so well. So, I thought maybe if I brought you along, since you're so pretty and powerful" he shamelessly flattered "she'd be jealous or something…" he looked back at her with puppy eyes "Please, Gohama…"
"Three glasses of scotch and dinner. If I'm pretending to be with you, you have to pay for dinner, Nikato.
He smothered her in a hug. "You're my favourite girl teammate!"
She pushed him away. "And you're my favourite ginger teammate."
"It's auburn…" he mumbled.
It really wasn't, it was a full out borderline-orange ginger.
To Yakiniku Q they went. His arm had now moved to encircle in hers. He knew Gohama wasn't a fan of unnecessary physical contact and this served mostly to annoy her, although he justified it with their little mission of getting attention from the girl. When they reached the table, Nikato ushered her towards the farthest spot on the booth with an awkward hand on the small of her back. All his movements were strained and shy. It was clear he wasn't used to dating, neither was Gohama, but she wouldn't bother herself with pretending, just following his lead. Kisamaru was already there. Luckily he had taken the seat in front of Gohama and gave them a knowing smile at their uncharacteristic touches.
"She's the blonde one." the ginger whispered in her ear.
Gohama sized her up. She was attractive with blonde hair and pale blue eyes, but her makeup was too heavy and her clothes too scanty. It gave her a fake look, although she could understand her appeal to a guy like Nikato. The girl sitting beside Kisamaru looked much more pleasant, with dark eyes, light brown hair, and a shy smile. She was more Kisamaru's type maybe, if Hyuga even had a type.
"Aren't you going to introduce us your new friend?" the blond girl asked. She was loud. The two of them together would be obnoxious.
Nikato blushed slightly. "Hm, yes, of course. Guys, this is Kyura Gohama. This is Ryu" Nikato pointed to a tall, dark haired boy with blue eyes, he gave her a cocky smile "Hanako" the target "Kenta" brown haired and brown eyed, he just waved "and Mizuki" the shy girl next to Kisamaru.
Once the introductions were made they started eating. Gohama was completely out of the conversation between the six friends. She entertained herself with teasing Kisamaru about Mizuki by wiggling her eyebrows and giving him knowing kicks under the table. He just blushed and glared at her, while continuing to look at his food and drink.
"So, Mizuki," the girl turned to her, surprised "how do you know Kisamaru?"
Now it was Hyuga's turn to kick her under the table. Gohama ignored it and kept pushing a conversation between the three of them, quietly becoming less involved until it was just the two of them talking. For Nikato's case, things were more complicated. He had brought her to make the blonde jealous, but couldn't take his eyes off the girl, always trying to get her attention. She seemed to be interested in him, but was enjoying being the one pursued. Once he finally stopped to fill his mouth with food, Gohama could do what she was being paid in dinner for. Taking a piece of meat with her chopsticks, she grabbed him by the chin and turned his face to hers.
"What are you doing?" he whispered warily.
"She's looking at us." she whispered back "Here, Kato-kun." she said with a bouncy louder tone and fed him the food. He blushed at the interaction. To take things further, Gohama took his napkin and brushed it on the corner of his mouth.
"So, are you two an item?" the blonde asked with a smug voice. That had worked.
"Oh no, we're just seeing where things take us, nothing serious… Right, Kato-kun?" she asked while smoothing down the hairs at his nape.
"Huh, sure…" he clumsily answered.
"Won't it disrupt your team relations?" Kenta asked.
"Nothing like that. We're just having fun…" «look at me», Gohama signed with their team's code on the back of his neck, he did. His expression hilariously lost. "… and Nikato is a lot of fun." she dragged out with innuendo, poking his nose.
For the rest of the night, it was the girl's turn to fight for the ginger's attention. Having her job done, Gohama spent it drinking her three glasses of whiskey and a lot more sake. Drinks ran easily through the throat when they weren't coming out of her own pocket. Only when she got up to go to the bathroom, did she realised how past her own responsible limit she was. It was time to go back to her apartment.
"I think I'm going." she informed "It was nice to meet you." she lowered herself to whisper at Nikato's ear "Pretend I'm saying something naughty."
Kisamaru gave a chuckle at his teammates little game.
Outside the cold night's air refreshed her alcohol-reddened cheeks. She was ready to jump onto the roofs, when a voice called for her.
"Hey, Gohama!" Iruka waved at her. She was not going to be left alone that night. "Going to Ippon after all?" he asked when they reached her.
"My apartment actually."
"No you're not." Genma said while clamping an arm around her shoulders "the night is still young and we have a lot more to drink, my darling Kyura."
"Stop dragging me away, Shiranui." she hissed while trying to secure her feet on the ground "I've drunk plenty tonight."
"I don't think so, you're still standing and not laying on my bed."
"As I never will. Especially not with that lack of smoothness. Now leave me alone" she said wiggling out of his glued arm "so I can go to my own bed."
"Only if I can come with you." he answered with a wink and his typical smirk.
"I'll make you swallow that senbon." she threatened.
"Come on, Gohama. Just a drink. I'll pay."
And there she went, towards the packed, overwhelming bar. They sat at the corner booth on the other side of the door, as always. Gai, Raidou, Izumo, Kotetsu and Kakashi were already there. Great, she was being forced into a guys' night. The drinks kept coming and she could feel herself way past the tipsy threshold. Everyone at that table was. She chatted mostly with Iruka and the two chunin guards. They were commenting the moment she stepped into the Village and how they thought she was bullshitting them. Gai sent some remarks about the beauty of her youth as a great clan heiress. He was nice to her, so she let his emotional speeches pass freely while the rest told him to shut up. Genma had already a woman on his lap and was busy seducing her. Kakashi had his nose stuck in Icha Icha.
Gohama pondered if she should tell him about her encounter with Danzo. They had agreed she would disclosure any advance he made. Until that day, she had just sensed one or other operative monitoring her, but it was always a different shinobi. She had memorised their chakra signatures, but it was useless, as she never sensed the same chakra more than one time. Danzo was smart and knew about her sensorial skill. This way it was more difficult to know if someone was following her or not. Crowds like this one at Ippon made it practically impossible. It really wasn't wise to be as drunk as she was now.
Kakashi and Hansuke knew about this, but it meant little. It could just be a paranoid former Council Elder making sure she wasn't a threat to Konoha. Today's meeting with Danzo changed that. Gohama didn't want to tell Hansuke because he would become overly protective and outright frustrating. Kakashi was less intense. Still, Danzo had offered her a place in ANBU, maybe even Root, and she was seriously considering accepting. Hatake would probably forbid her from making the deal. In the end, he had no power to stop her. Besides, it was safer if someone experienced knew where she was getting into. She had to tell him. The two would just become more smothering if they knew she had hidden this from them.
A little after he went for the bathroom, she followed him. They had to be careful, someone could be spying her and if it came out Kakashi was helping her it would only compromise him. She leaned against the men's bathroom doorframe as he dried his hands with paper towels. Good to know he washed them.
"We need to talk." she said.
"Breaking up with me?" he asked with an amused tilt.
"I met a guy. He's been interested for some time and finally came up to me."
Kakashi turned his head towards her while putting on his gloves. His dark eye surprised her with its intensity. He chuckled dryly. "What did he say that made you come to me?"
"He asked about my boyfriend. He's willing to give me more. He said I deserved more as Kyura."
Kakashi started walking towards her, his stance similar to the one he had as an ANBU. What was he playing at? "Do you want that?" he asked now towering her.
"Yes." she answered less certain of herself. She shouldn't be having an important conversation while drunk.
He gripped her jaw harshly and tilted her face up towards his. "Are you going to leave your boyfriend for a prick like that?"
The last man inside the bathroom left, closing the door behind him. Now she understood, he was acting like this to scare people off. Perhaps even her.
"Maybe."
"I won't let you." his sake soaked breath fanned over her face.
She pushed him away from her and he wobbled slightly trying to find his balance. "You have no right to—"
He rushed back to her to pin her to the wall, one hand on her jaw again while his other forearm pressed against the tiles above her head. "I have every right." he whispered harshly "You don't know him like I do."
His lightning chakra was tingling her skin, as it always did. The alcohol was making her head hazy and the sensation overwhelming.
"You stink of sake." she said. "You're drunk."
"You smell of soil, grill, sake, scotch" he nuzzled her hair "and lemons. And you're also drunk."
His low voice and breath against her ear were sending strange trills down her spine, which played perfectly with the warmth oozing from his body.
"What do you want from me?" she breathed out.
He squirmed slightly against her. "Not to accept it."
"I need this. I came to you first and you said you couldn't give it to me."
"You know why…" his tone was almost pained.
"I'm not him." she said firmly.
"You're doing exactly what he did. You're just staying in the Village."
Kakashi was right. She would do with Danzo what Sasuke had done with Orochimaru. She would leave her team behind and him for more power. She would risk her wellbeing for it, make a deal with the devil, and it wasn't even as good as Sasuke's had been. He laid his forehead against her temple and sighed.
"Please, trust me, Gohama." his masked lips brushed against her cheek and her stomach coiled "Trust me…" she felt the burning movements on her skin, her heartbeat had flown up. What was he doing to her?
How could he turn from a brute to this softness? His grasp on her jaw had relaxed, his thumb grazing the pulse on her neck. He knew how he was affecting her. He was trying to seduce her out of accepting it, the bastard. She drowned her hand on his silver hair and harshly pulled his head back to look at her.
"Trying to seduce me won't work. I'll do what I have to."
"What? You were the one that started with the whole boyfriend routine."
She jabbed a finger into his flak jacket. "I followed your lead. You asked me if I was breaking up with you." she hissed.
"It was a joke."
"Then why did you give me that look and pinned me against the wall?"
"Because I felt like it." He shrugged.
"You felt li—" she started asking in an indignant squeal "I don't care. I regret telling you already." she said, shoving him away with her shoulder and grabbing the doorknob to leave.
He pushed the door closed again with his hand above her head. His tone serious, no drunk acting behind it. "Don't do it, Gohama. He's out to hurt you."
She pulled the door with force and he let it open. In an instant, she was jumping through the roofs and shutting the door to her apartment. There went her conviction that Kakashi would be less intense.
A couple of days later, Gohama had team training.
She had tried not to dwell on her strange and slightly inappropriate discussion with Kakashi, but the effects his proximity had had on her body confused her. She could guess of what nature they were, but never before in her life had she responded so satisfyingly and intensely to a man's touch. It was probably because she was drunk. The closest was Hansuke, during their spars when he ended up pinning her to the ground, or a tree or his chest. But her relationship with Hansuke was completely different from Kakashi's. With her team leader, there was fascination, but it was mixed, in lack of a better word, with sentiment. No matter how much she shielded herself from dangerous emotional reliance, she felt a connection with Hansuke similar with the ones from her life in the Arms. Even with a trace of something stirring and new. With Kakashi, her fascination was mostly with his shinobi facet. There was little tenderness in the way she saw him, she wanted to know him and his company was entertaining, but the attraction she had for him lacked the affection she had for Hansuke, or any of her teammates.
Everything was too confusing for her to dissect and understand. It was best to ignore it and think about the reason why she had come to the Leaf. Her attachment to her team was affecting her resolve to follow her duty. Gohama had expected it, as habit was a strong bond maker, but she needed to be rational. ANBU was a great opportunity for improvement. If she had to leave her team, she would do it. With this in mind, she went to training ground 9.
As always, she waited for the other two with Kisamaru. They laughed about their dinner in Yakiniku Q. She asked about the shy girl, he blushed and said she was just a friend from his childhood.
When Nikato arrived, he launched himself at her with a suffocating hug. She couldn't help but smile a little. Bouncing and squeezing her, he shouted, "Thank you! Thank you! You're definitely my favourite teammate now!"
"Hey!" Hansuke exclaimed in a wounded tone "What about your dear old sensei?"
"My dear old sensei" he started as he released her "doesn't help me get a girl's attention."
"You never asked for my help."
"Because they'd be head over heels for that ANBU tattoo!" he pointed at his cloth covered bicep.
There was a flash of something in Hansuke's eyes at the mention of his elite mark. He quickly gave them a cocky smirk with a hint of something else Gohama had never seen in his lips. It made her heart skip. Stupid easily affected girl, she admonished herself.
"True. But I very much doubt our cute dolly out-of-the-monastery Go-chan could help in those matters."
His cocky smirk turned into a teasing one as he focussed those deep hazel eyes on hers. It stung her feminine pride him having little faith in her for «those matters», so she gave him a blasé cross of her arms and a defiant look. She would show him. Nikato proceeded to explain how she had acted. Hansuke raised his eyebrows in surprised appreciation.
"Good to know we have a matchmaker in the team." Hansuke clasped his hand forcibly in Nikato's back "Gai would be jealous of youthful glow. Glad you finally did the deed."
The ginger brushed the back of his hand on his forehead. "Actually, we didn't go that far, we only got t—"
"Too much!" Gohama interrupted "It's disturbing enough to know you're a virgin and your sensei knows you're a virgin."
"I bet you're a virgin too! Out-of-the-monastery Gohama! Unless you lost it to a monk." Nikato tried triggering her back.
"First, I could leave the monastery whenever I wanted. Second, I've been in Konoha for five months that's more than enough time."
He exhaled in annoyance. "You're a girl, it's easier for you…"
"And she's Gohama. Most people want to have sex with the last Kyura." Kisamaru finally intervened with his matter-of-fact tone.
The other three team members turned their wide eyes to him, Gohama with a tinge of rose in her cheeks. When he finally caught up to the meaning of his words, his face and neck went red.
"It's not… I'm not talking of personal opinion… I don't want to have se— Not that I don't find you attractive, Gohama… you're a lovely girl just not in that way, I mean, at least not for me, but from what I've watched—Not you, I don't watch you, in that way at least, unlike Nikato" the redhead let out a betrayed «hey» "but from the looks of other men and their bar talk I know they think about… that.
At the end of his justifying rant, she patted his cheek. "Thanks for the speech, Kisa-kun. You almost sounded like our ginger friend here." she crossed her arms and glanced at Hansuke "Looks like sensei is the only one who thinks I have nothing on those matters."
"Not really," Kisamaru corrected, "Hansuke-sensei isn't happy when others talk but he also looks at you."
Now it was Hansuke's turn to become red in embarrassment. Nikato burst out laughing. Gohama cocked an eyebrow at him accompanied by a smirk. "Is that so?"
Their team leader caged Hyuga's neck in an elbow lock and dragged him onto the middle of the training ground. He started a relentless spar, which could also be called kicking some Hyuga ass. Nikato and Gohama started sparring themselves.
When the other fight ended, Hansuke barked, "Hayashi!" they stopped "Help Hyuga get home."
It was never good when Hansuke used their last names. Gohama was ready to take off with the boys, when his chakra signature materialized behind her and a hand fell on her shoulder, warm and heavy. There was no need for him to clear the air between them. Knowing he looked at her didn't bother her, it even made her more feminine side pleased. He coaxed her to turn around to face him. He was back at not making eye contact. Nice job, Kisamaru. He could be as bad as Nikato's loose mouth.
"I don't really look at you, not that I don't think you're a pretty or… something…, Kisamaru just misread my innocent appreciation for a pretty thing, you understand, right? You know, the same as looking at the sunrise or the sea or Konoha from the Hokage Mountain, and you think—I'm making things worse…?"
"All this ranting, you sound like a third grade kid talking to his crush. Nikato has brushed off on you."
"I'm sorry... I just didn't want his comment to make you uncomfortable with us and me."
"It didn't. The only person uncomfortable is you, but that's your own doing."
"One more embarrassing moment to remember at weird hours of the night." he sighed.
She gave him a wide grin. "At least, it's fun for me."
Hansuke chuckled and returned her smile. "Good. I was afraid you'd think we're all perverts and leave the team." he commented with a playful bounce.
He turned his back to her and started walking towards the middle of the field. Gohama glared at his broad back. Had his words been a mere joke or did he suspect her inner impasse?
He looked over his shoulder at her. "Aren't you coming? Training is not over." there was a mischievous glint to his expression, it made her both curious and on guard.
They faced each other in fighting positions. Hansuke remained still, so she took the initiative and attacked him. In a blur, she hit the ground chest first, a kunai's tip pressed against her nape.
"I thought you were only mad at the boys."
"Who said I was mad?"
He released his grip on her and let her get up. The second round lasted little more. Gohama braced herself for his brutal approaches. He wasn't mad at her nor teasing, Hansuke was absolutely serious and strangely blank, as if fighting an enemy. She hadn't watched this side of his battle stance in any mission, much less directed at herself. As a response, she reflected his composure.
The next round was much the same, her back clashed with the ground, he had a kunai to her neck and, in the next second, he was already up ready for the next one. Gohama decided it was time to rise her bar and summoned her tanto, involving it in chakra. Now, it became more difficult for him to reach her with simple taijutsu. He took a scroll from his always unzipped flak jacket and unrolled it, all at the same time as he evaded her blows. A ninjato appeared in a smoke cloud and he used it to block her attack. He covered it with a thin layer of chakra. It wouldn't be enough to protect the blade against her own if their skills had been on the same level.
Gohama had watched him fight with his ninjato in a few missions. The weapon was a continuity of his own arm, he manipulated it with agile mastery, both strong and graceful. It had fascinated her and now, as she took him and his ninjato on, she couldn't help but feel her stomach flutter in uneasiness and excitement. Her tanto helped little. After few minutes, it lay on the soil and his blade was pointing towards her throat. Hansuke kept his expression emotionless. Then she tried ninjutsu. This time their fight lasted at least fifteen minutes. Again, she ended up caged inside his chakra sucking dome. Gohama wouldn't give up that easily.
This turn, she hid in the trees, alert to any changes in the chakra signature standing in the middle of the field. Her heart was hopping in trepidation, she could feel it against the skin of her neck and chest. He disappeared which meant in an instant he would materialise somewhere around her. It ended being above her. She dodged, but he caught the ends of her hair. She cried from the bite of having it yanked, Hansuke took advantage of her moment of hesitation and buried his hand in it. He pulled her to him harshly and the feat made her shudder. Her back hit his chest and again a kunai was at her neck, the fingers holding it grazing softly against her skin. The sudden odd change in his behaviour was surprisingly enticing, with his domineering and pure skill. She felt herself heat up, her heartbeat fasten. What was wrong with her? What had stupid drunk Hatake stirred in her? Then it clicked. Hansuke was showing off.
"Kakashi told you, didn't he?"
Hansuke put the kunai back in his pouch, but returned his hand to her throat. Then, he tugged at her hair bending her neck so he could assess her expression. His fingers scrapping her scalp only tantalised her more. Another trill ran the length of her spine.
"I see you're thinking of leaving your man for another." his tone was both amused and menacing. Gohama winced at the same obnoxious boyfriend code. "Why?"
Couldn't the two men have a discussion like normal people, instead of having the need to torture her?
"Didn't he tell you that?"
"I want to hear it from you."
"First let go of me."
He chuckled lowly and dangerously. "Am I scaring you, Gohama?" he splayed his warm, burning hand against her throat "Your heartbeat is racing."
Waves of trills crashed throughout her stomach. The contact with his chest allowed his steady chakra to seep into her skin. It was too much, it was so much more than with Kakashi. Even her breathing had changed. What was wrong with her? Did he know what he was doing to her? She gazed right into his hazel eyes in defiance. There was something eager behind them. Maybe she wasn't the only one getting affected.
"You wish you could scare me, Hansuke. Now let go of me so we can talk like normal people."
His fingers sliding out of her hair and throat made her shudder again. He jumped down onto the ground and sat leaning against the tree trunk. She followed him down, with crossed arms she waited for him to start the interrogation. Instead he gestured to the spot beside him.
"Can you, please, sit down so we can talk like normal people?"
Gohama sat beside his outstretched legs.
"Are you really thinking about it?" She nodded. "Why?"
"You know why…" he gave her a disapproving look as response "Don't start it, Hansuke."
He turned his gaze to the empty space in front of him. "It's not just about you making a deal with Danzo, although that's the stupidest, most reckless thing anyone could do. ANBU is not for you, Gohama."
"Why not?" she asked sharply "You think I'm not good enough?"
"Of course you'd take it the wrong way." he shook his head and looked at her "I left for a reason. ANBU will break you." he sighed "It broke me."
"Oh come on, Hansuke. You're one of the least fucked up shinobi there is."
He laughed. "Maybe. But it wasn't always like that. Especially not after ANBU."
"Why did you leave?"
His expression wavered with something deep and heavy, but he quickly schooled it, averting his gaze from hers. Hansuke was always open. What could he be hiding now?
"It asked me to do thinks that shouldn't be asked."
Gohama knew it was forbidden to disclose information about ANBU missions and workings, but his vague answer was particularly frustrating.
"I'm ready for anything."
"Is this what you want? Do you want to leave the team?"
"It doesn't matter what I want."
Hansuke let his head fall to lean against the trunk in exasperation, a mixture of a sigh and chuckle left his lips with dryness. "Of course."
He looked up at the leaves and sky. She studied his strong profile, with a straight nose and stubble sprinkled jaw, she tried to read what he was thinking. She could see the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed, the movement of the cords of his neck. An impulse of tracing them made her fingers twitch. Then his eyes turned down to hers, almost veiled behind his thick lashes, his head still tilted against the tree. "Can't I make you stay?"
Her heart skipped at his intense gaze and honest question. She knew he had meant all the skill and strength he had shown her now during their spar. Still, her body involuntarily responded to something deeper, something even she didn't know what it was. Hansuke had become her teammate, Kisamaru and Nikato too. Going to ANBU meant leaving them. It pinched her, but Gohama had promised herself she would put her duty before anything else. She had promised her Village.
When she didn't answer, his mouth shaped into a small dejected smile. Gohama averted her eyes to the grass, picking and ripping at it. His hand patted her knee. He was hesitant between leaving it or not, but he let it stay there, his comforting heat and chakra oozing through it. His tanned hand was large and fingers long. They were worn and ragged, those were shinobi hands, harden by their jobs. There was a scar running from the side of it onto its back, probably from blocking a blade. Strange how she hadn't noticed before, he only wore gloves during missions. She felt the need to touch it with her thumb, but kept on tearing grass.
"If you do decide to make the deal, please don't just disappear. Nikato would whine for ages, you know. He's quite fond of you now. And Kisamaru would bottle all up with that infuriating serious look of his."
"That's it? Now more preaching?"
"We like having you on the team, Gohama, but I can't force you to stay. Besides, you won't get rid of my preaching so easily. If you do this dangerous thing with Danzo, someone will have to have your back. When I said I'd protect you I meant it." he squeezed her knee "Even if you're basically signing up for suicide."
"You don't need to."
"I know. But I want to." he said softly with a smile.
Hansuke was also seducing her, but with kindness and… care… Why did it hurt so much to be cared about? Why did she feel so guilty?
"I have to go, now." she informed, while standing up "I'll see you around."
A swirl of snowflakes replaced her form.