Okay, chapter 14…this was a pain to write, and it's making the story so much longer than it already is…well, my neighbor's furnace blew up today, so that's my exciting story.
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Usagi sat up and found herself in a hospital bed with three people looking down at her. Rei, and Trunks, along with another man she did not recognize stared at her, most with mixed emotions.
"What happened?" she said groggily, rubbing the back of her head. She found a tube coming out of her wrist where an IV was attached, along with several other machines that were hooked up to her.
The doctor spoke up. "Tsukino-san, I'm Dr. Yakashiro, do you remember anything about this afternoon?"
"No," Usagi lied, remembering what had happened, and not wishing to rehash the events.
"You collapsed in a grocery store, from what we can best guess was a massive panic attack," he said, glancing at his clipboard.
"Panic attack?" Usagi asked in surprise. "How the hell do you have a panic attack?"
"You must have been put in a position of great stress and your body was unable to cope, causing you to collapse." He explained. "Has there been anything going on that has caused you to be under an unusual amount of stress? Have you been feeling more and more anxiety recently?"
"Um, no," Usagi lied again. 'What should I tell him, oh, well, I just found out my would-be boyfriend and my boss are involved with some superhuman research project that's so top-secret and I'm probably going to be killed because I know these things, I have to go to a ball with said guy, even though I'm scared to death and have nothing to wear, and now I just ran into Rei Hino, who I have not spoken to in over a year and she's standing in front of me, ready to grill me the first second she gets on what the hell I've been doing for the past year?!' "Nothing that I can think of," she smiled.
"Well, take it easy for the next couple of days, I'm running some blood tests, I'll be back in a half an hour with the results, after everything is cleared, you'll be free to leave," he said, turning to leave.
"O-okay," Usagi said, breathing a sigh of relief, at least she didn't have to spend the night.
"Usagi-chan, are you okay? That was so strange when you collapsed, I've never seen anything like it!" Rei said, rushing forward and pressing a hand to Usagi's forehead.
"I'm fine Rei-chan," Usagi mumbled reddening with embarrassment. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"Yuuchiro and I got this invitation to Bulma Briefs' big annual ball, so we figured It would be a good chance for a short vacation, seeing as he loves this city, so here I am," she said with a smile. "I had almost forgotten that you were living with Minako-chan here,"
"Yeah," Usagi replied.
"Well you and Minako-chan neglected to mention that you were working for Bulma and that you knew her son!" Rei said with a grin, gesturing to Trunks, who looked even more uncomfortable than before.
"Sorry Rei-chan, I was too busy collapsing to tell you," Usagi said dismally.
Rei opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off when the door opened and a nurse poked her head in.
"Excuse me, is there a Trunks Briefs in here?" she asked.
"Yes," Trunks answered, stepping forward.
"There's a telephone call for you,"
"Thanks," He said, glancing at Usagi once more before leaving the room.
"Usagi-chan, I think we need to talk about a few things," Rei said, her expression changing, now that it was just the two of them.
"Fine, go ahead, scream at me, there's no one here but us," Usagi replied in the same flat tone.
"What are you talking about?" Rei asked incredulously. "Have you lost your mind or something?"
"We haven't talked for a year, why start now?" she answered.
"You haven't talked for a year. You were the one who shut everyone else off, don't go accusing any of us!" Rei said; her voice filled with pain.
Usagi sat up more, her eyes filling with tears. "You don't understand!"
"How am I supposed to when you hid from us? Don't you think it hurt when you went to Minako-chan, and continued to ignore the rest of us?"
"It had nothing to do with you," she said, keeping her eyes trained on her bed sheets.
Rei's voice quieted slightly. "I was hoping maybe things could go back to the way they were when you showed up at Tomoe's funeral,"
"Why do you care?" Usagi said. "You're a big executive with a handsome husband, who wants to go back to being with high school friends?"
"Usagi-chan!" Rei said harshly, and then her voice softened. "You're my best friend. You're always going to be my best friend. Even when we don't talk for a year, or a millennium, you're still going to be my best friend. It doesn't matter what happens, we're like sisters, all of us, and it's never going to change, no matter what."
"But I've been such a jerk to you guys," she said, her tears growing stronger.
"Usagi-chan, we don't blame you, what you went through is something no one should have to deal with," Rei hugged her friend, as Usagi began to cry.
Usagi pulled away after a moment, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "I-I just wish I could stop blaming myself, b-but-"
"Usagi-chan it wasn't your fault, what he did was his choice, not yours," Rei said firmly.
"B-but I just feel like I could have done something to prevent it," she whispered. "Everyday, I could see it coming. I could see something was wrong. Whenever he came home from work, there was always something about his eyes that just didn't seem right. I would always ask him if anything was wrong, and he'd just always say no, every time. Even that day, he said no, I'm fine…"
"Usagi-chan,"
"He didn't want me to worry, he didn't want to make me think he wasn't perfect and strong and capable of taking care of me. He wanted to be everything, and he couldn't do it," she said, her tears coming back in a fresh wave. "I just wish he would have told me what was wrong," she whispered.
Rei held Usagi as she cried, feeling tears of her own come to her eyes in sympathy and regret. It wasn't fair to put someone as wonderful as Usagi through so much pain.
"Oh Usagi-chan, I wish I could stay, but I have to get back to the hotel, Yuuchiro doesn't know where I've been, he's going to be worried," Rei said regretfully.
"It's okay, you should go, I only have to stay a little while longer, and I can ask Trunks-san for a ride," Usagi replied.
"Okay," Rei said, and for a moment looked like she wanted to say something else, but thought better of it. "I'll call you tomorrow and we can get together for lunch or something, okay?"
Usagi nodded with a smile. "I'd like that,"
"Bye Usagi-chan,"
"Bye Rei-chan,"
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"Well, Tsukino-san, the blood tests all seem normal, but I'd like you to stay and allow the resident psychiatrist ask you a few questions before you leave," Dr. Yakashiro said, looking over his papers.
"Psychiatrist? But you said I could leave!" Usagi protested.
"We recently received your health records from the hospital in Tokyo that you were admitted to last fall, and it seems that it would be in your best interest that you meet with the psychiatrist." He answered.
"I don't want to talk to anyone, I want to go home," Usagi said stubbornly. "I've been sitting around in this damned place for too long already,"
"We can't allow you to leave until you do, Tsukino-san," he said, with a tone of finality. "He'll be here in fifteen minutes."
Rei had left a few short minutes ago, and Trunks had returned just before the doctor had, leaning against a wall on one side of the room, he had given her a searching look when the doctor had mentioned being admitted to a hospital.
Usagi sighed, raking her fingers through her hair as the doctor left. Why did it seem that everything just kept crumbling all around her?
"Why were you admitted to the hospital last fall?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I had to get stitches on my right arm, why does it seem that you're always asking me questions about who I am, when I don't even know what your favorite color is?" she said suddenly, still staring at the linoleum floor.
"Blue," he replied, fixing his eyes on the clock hanging above the door.
"Birthday?"
"May fifth,"
"Food?"
"Rice balls"
"Greatest fear?"
"Being alone for the rest of my life, why do you care about stupid things like that? They aren't that important," he replied impatiently, ending his staring match with the clock to shake his head in irritation.
"Maybe not to you," she said. "I don't care that there are some things you don't want to tell me, I have my own, but I'd rather you be up front about it instead of hiding everything and avoiding it." 'I had no secrets with Mamoru, he knew everything about me, inside and out. Trunks-san doesn't even know who I was, who I am, or who I will be,'
"Well you're free to ask all of the questions that you like,"
"But you won't answer all of them, will you?" she said, looking up suddenly. Her eyes had darkened slightly, and he felt that there was much more to the blonde than many first perceived.
"No."
"Nor will I."
"Glad that we could reach an agreement."
There was another pregnant pause. Before Usagi shifted slightly, glancing down at her right arm. "I have a scar there," she said, fiddling with her shirtsleeve. "I cut myself, with a kitchen knife…I don't even remember why I did it, I just remember there being blood everywhere…twenty-three stitches, thirty psychiatrist appointments and two little pink pills a day later…" she trailed off, staring blankly into space.
"The doctor's coming," he said, standing up.
She didn't respond, but her eyes shifted to the door as it opened, and a man with graying hair and a faint mustache entered.
"Hello Tsukino-san, I am Dr. Kinomoto, I'm just here to ask a few questions before you leave," he turned to Trunks. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step outside for a few minutes,"
"What's the point?" Usagi spoke up. "I'd tell him more than I'll tell you, in fact, he already knows more about me than you ever will,"
"Usagi-san," Trunks said. "I don't mind sitting outside and waiting,"
The doctor nodded, looking relieved. "Thank you,"
After the door had closed, he sat down in one of the nearby chairs, and took a pad of paper out, along with a pen, and began to write.
"You're writing already? I've barely said five words to you." Usagi said scathingly.
"Tsukino-san, this meeting will be much easier for the both of us, and you will be able to leave much sooner, if you would just cooperate and try to be as civil as possible." He said patiently, and ceased writing.
She was silent, and he translated it as being a sign of acceptance.
"That man, he is a friend of yours?" he asked, trying to initiate a conversation.
"Friend, colleague, partner, sex slave, it's all the same," she said with a shrug.
"Tsukino-san-"
"Fine, I'll be good and answer the questions,"
"You were admitted to Tokyo Hospital in November after being found unconscious in your apartment, with a large cut on your right arm, and a kitchen knife laying next to you." he said, glancing down at his notes.
"Twenty-three stitches," she replied.
"Why did you do this to yourself Tsukino-san?"
"I don't know,"
"You don't know?-"
"I don't remember!" she said suddenly, her anger flaring.
"Please, let's keep this at a professional level, you don't remember why you cut yourself?"
"I don't even remember doing it. I remember seeing the knife, and there being blood everywhere, and I don't remember anything else," she said flatly.
"This happened shortly after your fiancé committed suicide, is that correct?"
"Yes,"
"Do you think that had anything to do with your hurting yourself?"
"I don't know, maybe if I could even remember doing it," she replied impatiently.
"You then were treated by a psychiatrist, and prescribed medication to deal with your diagnosed depression,"
She was silent.
"But you haven't refilled this prescription for several months, can you tell me why?"
After a long pause, she spoke. "I don't need them anymore,"
"What leads you to believe that, Tsukino-san?"
"Because I don't feel unhappy anymore." She said, as though it were obvious.
"Tsukino-san, chronic depression is not something that suddenly disappears," he replied.
"I don't want to take any more of your pills,"
"Tsukino-san, the pills aren't going to hurt you-"
"I've taken the medication, I know what it feels like to be on it. I don't want to go back to living in that fake world. I want to live by my own emotions, and not have them be dictated by some pink pill."
"Usagi, if you truly feel that you are better, we can screen you, and if we decide to put you back on medication, it's only going to help you, and keep you from hurting yourself or anyone else,"
"It's been three months, and I haven't tried to kill myself or anyone else,"
"Were there any changes that took place in your life that caused you to believe you were better?" he asked, changing the subject.
"I accepted the fact that my fiancé was dead."
"What caused you to do that?"
"I hit my head, after taking too many pills,"
"And this is what made you accept your fiance's death?" he asked, unable to stop a hint of incredulity into his voice.
"Yes," she replied, ignoring his tone. "Look, I don't care whether you believe me or not, I moved out of my apartment and went to live with my friend Minako Aino, ask her, she'll vouch that I'm sane."
"Minako Aino, the idol singer?" His eyebrows rose.
"Yes,"
"Tsukino-san, lying isn't going to get you out of here any sooner,"
Usagi stood, her temper flaring more than ever. "I don't care if you think I'm crazy, or depressed, or whatever! But don't call me a liar!" she shouted.
"Tsukino-san, please calm down," he said nervously. "There is no need to get violent,"
"I'm not violent, and now I'm sure you think I'm crazy, but really, I don't care what you think, and I'm leaving," she headed towards the door.
"Tsukino-san, please, do not leave, we are not finished," he said quickly, standing up to stop her.
"Leave me alone! I don't want to answer any more of your stupid questions, who are you to judge me?" she shoved by him and left the room, passing Trunks. "I'm going home," she said as she did so.
He followed, catching up to her with ease. "Have a nice meeting?"
She didn't answer.
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Dammit, I promise this thing will end very soon, if it doesn't I'll go crazy, as I'm sure many of you already are.