Part III | Chapter 2
The team had arrived yesterday from a gruesome mission. A common B-rank had turned quickly into A. The intelligence about the missing nin group they were to dismantle had been wrong. Supposedly, only five genin and three chunin, the group was much larger with jonin as well. It started with Nikato and Hansuke infiltrating the compound and on the day for the dismantle letting the two identifiable ones, the Hyuga and Kyura, in. Only inside had the two realised how skilled the crime syndicate was, with three A-rank nin, five B-rank and two C-rank. They had only survived because of Kisamaru's brilliant healing skills.
Luckily, they were out of the hospital in a few hours and could enjoy what they always did together after a close call, getting stupidly drunk and end up as a pile of dead bodies in Hansuke's living room. But no. It was festival time, so Hansuke decided they would post-pone the heavy drinking for another day and would enjoy the stands, maybe do some light drinking.
Gohama was now on the grassy ground of a faraway training field, enjoying the sun and the fresh water of the stream against her hand. It would be a warm night certainly. The spring weather was being surprisingly balanced, without the wavering between wind, rain and sun. Today was a beautiful day. This training ground was rarely used and poorly maintain. The grass was dangerously tall for training and wild flowers had started to cover the ground in shades of white, blue and yellow. Gohama had discovered it a month ago while wandering around the fields surrounding the Village. Since then, she had come here to rest and train at least twice a week. Now, she let her mind and heart rest after the strain of fear and survival from their last mission.
She was laying on her back at the stream bank, one arm spread to her side, while its hand splashed softly on the flowing water. The other fingers thrummed obliviously over the uncovered skin of her belly. She had pulled her shirt up so that the warmth of the sun would soak into her skin. From time to time, the grass swayed gently and tingled her skin. It was relieving to be able to feel well just by resting under the sun. It had been some time now.
In her mind, she regarded a catalogue of her kimono and which one she would wear tomorrow. She was excited about wearing traditional clothes and experiencing the ambient of festival time again. For the other two that had happened while already in the Leaf, Gohama had been on missions. She hadn't been to a festival since her childhood. What she remembered most was the colour. For her, festivals meant colour, with the kimonos, the stands, the food, the fireworks. And noise. But the happy, peaceful noise of joy and fun, of families chatting with little children screaming in excitement, of friends meeting after months apart, of laughs and footsteps and fireworks. Noise and colour that tasted of home, of life. Her heart ached terribly, but there was a small smile on her lips.
"You look like a cosy purring kitten."
"Hey." she greeted without opening her eyes.
He stood for a moment, looking down at her, and then lay next to her. Her flesh already imbibing his soothing chakra into her, even with the small space separating them.
"So, this is where you've been hiding." his words faded into the quiet of cicadas buzzing and birds chirping. She could feel him on his side, his hand brushing lightly against the fabric of her shirt as he plucked at the weeds between them. The weight of his gaze on her spread through her skin in tingles and pulled the corners of her mouth into a satisfied smile.
"You're already freckling." She could sense his hesitation when he traced the bridge of her nose, his fingers smelling of grass and his touch teasing flutters in her stomach. She hummed in comfort. He dropped his hand to her hair laying against the soil, playing with her tresses.
"I miss you."
Gohama finally tilted her head to look at him. She had missed him too. The soft and low murmur of his voice, the tenderness of his touch, the consuming hazel of his eyes when he truly looked at her.
"We see each other almost every day."
"But you're not really there, Gohama." his pained eyes breaking into her "It's been a month… Are you still scared of me?" he whispered.
"I was never scared of you, you silly man. I just needed time to get better."
"I could have helped you."
"It was not your job to fix me and it still isn't." she pressed her hand to his cheek and he closed his eyes "I'm good now."
"Can we start over with the kenjutsu training, then?"
"I think I should focus on training with the boys for the exams." she moved her hand to play with the hairs at the back of his head. He almost purred. "Who's the purring kitten now?"
"More like a leopard." He childishly pouted and she couldn't help but giggle.
"A leopard?" she asked with a mocking tone "Maybe, with this light brown almost golden hair and those bright hazel eyes. A cute little leopard."
He pinched her side. "Dolly."
She gasped in outrage and pinched him back. "Suke-chan."
They started a tickle and pinching battle, which made her laugh as she hadn't laughed in a long time. Her weight light and mirthful, her chest warm and fluttery. And she loved his laugh too. He grabbed her hands and locked her under him, the remains of his laughter rumbling through her skin. She watched his eyes crease, his dense lashes highlighting their flicker. His lips spread wide in a toothy grin, as he chuckled softly. The sound of his pants from their struggle mixed with his laugh made her stomach twist. She had missed him.
When he saw she wasn't fighting him anymore, he released her hands and they fell down to her side, fingers grasping the grass and fighting this itch to touch him. This deep and thrilling urge that only grew with the change in his gaze. Only then did she realise how close they were, how warm his weight was over her hips. She wanted to dive in, drown in his touch and her touch. She let her hands slid from his waist through his chest onto his face. Her fingers swirled the fine hair at his nape, her thumbs caressing his cheeks. His lips, she had to trace them and she did, they were slightly chapped but soft and warm.
He squirmed lightly against her and she gasped in surprise, eyes wide. She felt him against her belly, hot and new. Heat flooded through her, tingles burning down, until they settled between her thighs. And the craving that burst through her veins was too intense, too overwhelming. It scared her. He didn't notice her reaction, his dark gaze focussed on her lips.
And then she threw him into the stream. There was a little yelp cut off by the splash of water. He came up looking like a wet cat, trying to understand why she had done that. Her cheeks flared in embarrassment.
"Sorry." she offered with a sheepish wince.
He smirked teasingly at her. "I was feeling rather hot. And by how your cheeks are burning, maybe I should make you wet too."
She groaned and covered her face with an arm. "Oh, shut up, Hansuke, you sound like an unfunny pervert."
"Yes, but making you embarrassed is worth it."
Gohama stood up, threw him a sloppy wave over her shoulder, and left towards the Village. He caught up to her easily, the sound of wet cloth and squeaking shoes following her along the way. He tried to hug her a few times, just to keep warm, not to soak her with freezing water.
The four of them were laying on the floor, panting and groaning, after a cruel training session. Gohama pulled up the hem of her shirt and used it as a towel to wipe the sweat off her face. The day seemed mercilessly hot now, her neck was burning and her dark hair, soaking up the heat from the sun, didn't help. She held it close to her nape and flung it to fan away from her neck and shoulders.
"Wow." Nikato breathed next to her "That was cool. Kisamaru, do that too." he joked.
Hyuga merely sat up and glared at him. Still, he undid his braid and flung his hair back with all the grace of a feline shaking its fur. Then, he pointed a cocky glance at a gaping Nikato. None actually thought he would do it.
"That was sexy, Kisa-kun." Gohama told him and with a feigned pout added "I'm actually jealous you have better hair than I do."
He blushed at her bold, slightly inappropriate comment. "Who needs healing?"
The three of them, still sprawled on the ground, groaned in a "yes". He started with her. Kneeling down next to her middle, he let his hands hover her chest with green chakra.
He whispered sheepishly. "Did you truly think that was… sexy" he cringed at the word "or were you mocking me?"
That was cute.
"Trying to impress a girl at the festival? Maybe a boy?" she wiggled her eyebrows at him and he turned red. He closed himself in his concentration while healing her "I'm just messing with you, Kisa-kun." Gohama had never seen him with his braid undone. His hair was healthy and lustrous, falling with a sleek flow below his shoulder blades. It framed his soft features attractively. "And it was true. You should wear your hair loose more often, like tonight, at the festival."
The chakra stream to his hands vanished and he looked back up at her with a timid smile that creased at the corners of his big lavender eyes. She thanked him for healing her. As he moved onto Nikato, a blush still painting his cheeks, she wondered if it had been wrong of her to tease him. Most times he took it well, but it was obvious he had felt vulnerable asking her that. Gohama didn't want him to shun away from her when he talked more seriously. He wasn't like Nikato, who spilled his heart with simplicity and ease. Kisamaru closed himself in his poise and propriety. His being based in clan branches, decorum and a shinobi stoicism. The path of his life sealed into the skin of his forehead, never for him to choose where to walk. Gohama brought her hand to the dragon on her forearm. She understood that. To have a path sealed into her being from birth. People like them weren't born free, maybe no one was born free.
She hoped there truly was a pretty girl or boy he fancied. Even with all the troubles of sentimentality, a crush could always help lighten a shinobi's life.
Gods, she was in a pensive mood today.
"Hey." Hansuke called from beside her. She turned to look at him. "I hope you're not thinking of standing us up tonight, Gohama."
"I'm not. I said I'd go to the festival, so why would I?"
"Just making sure." he raised his hands in an act of surrender "You had that look just now."
"What look?"
"The I'm-thinking-deep-troubling-things-about-the-meaning-of-life-and-will-spend-my-night-sulking-about-them-on-my-windowsill-while-sipping-offensively-expensive-scotch look."
She twisted her body in the grass to kick his side, he easily grabbed her ankle and pulled her to him. In response, she pounded his chest hard with a fist.
"I don't have that look and you make me sound like a pretentious moron and I do not sulk."
"Of course you don't." he answered with an infuriating smile.
"Fuck off, Hansuke." she got up and he actually fidgeted at the sudden movement "You all better be wearing traditional clothes tonight."
In the distant, she heard Nikato complaining about Hansuke pissing her off.
A deep crimson kimono with beige flowers and traces of green on leaves and twigs was laying on her bed. She brushed her hand along the silky length of it, a deep sigh escaping her lips. Gohama had never put on a kimono by herself, in fact, this was the first time she was wearing one since her childhood. Back then, she had always Koroko-san's help, which consisted in her nanny doing the entire task for her. If she had a girl friend, she could have asked for her help. But no, now of all times, she had to be an antisocial tomboy. Gohama picked up the page from a magazine she had found earlier that afternoon. Wrap around the fabric, tug here and there, it seemed simple enough. Gohama put the kimono over her, the smooth fabric stroking her skin, and it felt amazingly familiar.
A wave of nostalgia crashed inside her chest as she finished tying her obi, though rather poorly, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was up, adorned with a red comb. Her skills with hairdos were as lacking as with dressing up, but it seemed good enough. The slightly messy bundle suited her, not to austere and slick. Unfortunately, by the beginning of the evening, most of her tresses would have broken loose. At least, she could appreciate her appearance now. The deep red harmonised and contrasted with her milky skin and dark hair. She felt pretty and that felt wonderful, making a smile spread through her lips.
Gohama looked like Mother. She did and it only made her chest ache more and her eyes shine brighter. She hoped, if Mother could see her now, she would be proud of her little girl for finally wearing a kimono willingly and loving how womanly and pretty she felt in it. Even Koroko-san would be ecstatic for not having to chase her around or bribe her with food. If only it could be a festival in Buki, with her friends waiting for her by the Deiji bridge. Brother meeting with his own friends, he would have been old enough to wander around with them. Father warning her to be careful and not come home too late, worrying over her even though she could beat anyone's ass. Mother brushing his arm and telling him that she was young and it was her time to enjoy being with her friends. An entire reassuring and negotiating speech, all too similar to the ones Gai preached every day. Then she would leave with the promise to be careful. In the Deiji bridge, Isune-chan, Haku-kun and she would wait for Kuni-kun to arrive. She would intertwine her arm in Kuni-kun's and he would truly smile at her with those dark eyes of his, no more sadness behind them, only his typical humour. The group would wander together through the stands, ramped up on the main avenue, her home's main avenue. Her streets, her food, her people.
A familiar chakra signature ended her wistful scenario. It didn't warm her, the impossibility of it left her only empty. She shouldn't have made up such things. Especially not on this day, on this always so painful day. Hansuke was right. Gohama sulked. She sulked deep and hard.
Gohama leaned over her window. "What are you doing here?" she called down at Hansuke walking up to her building.
"Making sure you'd come." he shouted back.
"In case you can't see it, I'm rolling my eyes at you."
"Don't worry, Gohama, I can feel it."
"You're not even wearing traditional clothes, I told you to wear them."
"Sorry, Go-chan, but I didn't feel like fulfilling one of your perverted fantasies."
She groaned and slid her window closed, putting the locking seals back up. With one last look and turn at the mirror, she got out of the apartment, her movements slightly strained by the kimono. She wasn't used to being constricted by her own clothes.
When she opened the building door with a harsh push, Hansuke turned to her, the self-satisfied smile on his face quickly fading away. Now it was her time to smirk under his intense gaze.
"You look… nice…" a faint pink coloured his cheeks, he was cute when he blushed "well… not just nice, beautiful actually."
His eyes jumped up to hers to gauge her reaction at his comment. Her insides fluttered wonderfully, but she only gave him a smile.
"Thanks." she said while walking pass him.
But he was quick to add with a playful tone "In a kimono, you really do look like an Hakata doll."
Gohama sent him a glare from over her shoulder. "You look the same as always."
"And how is that?"
Handsome, sexy and charming all at the same time.
"Don't worry, Suke-chan, you're a very pretty man."
He just shrugged. "I'll take it."
They found their two teammates at the beginning of the stands. Nikato was dressed in civilian attire. His clothes a wrinkled mess, but at least he had colour matched his socks. Only Kisamaru had a dark grey yukata with lighter grey lines running the length of it. The traditional wear suited him perfectly. His hair was loose and the gentle breeze scattered it over his face, from time to time he moved it away awkwardly. It was obvious he wasn't used to having his hair flying around. A black sash of fabric replaced his hitai-ate and covered the seal on his forehead.
"Wow, Gohama, you look great." Nikato commented while eyeing her from top to bottom "You don't even look like you."
She swatted him for the insensitive, poorly constructed compliment. He yelped and rubbed his arm with a betrayed, slightly confused look. Hansuke had lean down and whisper an explanation to his ear.
"Well, you look very much like your sloppy self, Nikato," Gohama answered "but it's nice to see you finally learned how match your socks."
"It was my mum, actually." for an outsider it would sound like a joke, but their team knew perfectly well it was true.
"As for you, Kisamaru, you look very handsome." and she winked, which only made him blush.
Nikato started complaining how Gohama had only complemented Kisamaru because he was wearing a yukata as she had demanded, while they walked into the mess of people.
The noise involved her in a cosy, familiar giddiness, similar to the one she used to have as a child. The air had a warm yellow glow from the paper lanterns zigzagging above them. A flock of children ran past them, cheering and shouting in excitement, one of them bumping into Gohama. The blend of smells so similar to the ones from her home, the oil of fried food, spice of noodles, the freshnesss of flowers. She stopped on her steps and watched the commotion of people wandering around. A family was eating by the dango stand, a small child tugging at the yukata of his mother while she talked to her husband. Then, she picked him up and his father offered him some of his food, which made the kid smile. A young couple, still shy around each other, the girl cheering his date as he tried to win her a teddy bear. Friends messing around as they competed to see who could hit the most targets.
Gohama looked down, her feet fumbling through the dirt of the unpaved street. Her home had white round and polished stone streets. Better, used to have. Now, they were probably cracked and dirty from the years of abandonment, maybe even stained with the blood of her people. The resemblance only made it worst, because it was almost, only almost, but never the same. Maybe it was too much for her to handle. Maybe she should have stayed in her apartment. Another pair of feet appeared over the dusty brown of the ground. A hand settled on her shoulder, its thumb gently stroking the exposed skin of her neck.
"Is it too much?" Hansuke asked.
"Maybe."
"Those two went to get us some food, but then we can go to my place, drink ourselves silly."
She looked up at him. "I want to be here, I was excited, I just never expected it to hit so hard."
"We can go meet the boys and see, if you need to get out we go. Okay?" He offered her his arm and, with a blush, she took it. It was has she had expected, warm and comforting.
They began walking towards the two familiar chakra signatures. The delicious fried squids helped her mood along with Nikato's loudmouthed cheerfulness. They stopped by the stands with raffles, only winning some useless little trinkets. Most games involved accuracy so shinobi were prevented from playing them, only the goldfish scooping one was allowed. The three chunin squatted in front of the aquarium, in one hand a poi, in the other a bowl with water. Beside them, there were only small children with their parents encouraging them on. Nikato and Gohama shared a glare and, at Hansuke's voice, they delved into the water. Gohama followed the small fishes around with her net and, just as she scooped the water behind them, they slipped away. At least, Nikato wasn't having a better luck. The boy beside her kept shoving her elbow with his and scaring the fish away with his lack of subtlety. He had made her break her poi two times now. She was ready to lash out at any moment when a hand patted her head.
"It's just a game, no need to start killing the children."
She gave Hansuke a pointed glare over her shoulder but he was only more amused at his own comment because of that. Gohama glanced over Kisamaru and he had already three fish inside his bowl. She dived back in with the concentration and urgency of a mission and, after too many failed attempts, she finally caught one. Her exclamation scared the boy beside her.
She shoved the bowl in front of Nikato. "Look what I've got here, Kato-kun. I guess this means I win." she boasted with a childish tone.
"No, it's the fastest out of three."
"Then, the winner is actually Kisamaru." Hansuke pointed to the bowl in Hyuga's hand with five fish inside.
The three prepared to leave as Nikato continued on his hunt for a goldfish. Even when they asked him to leave with them, with the offer of one of Kisamaru's fishes, he didn't budge.
"I'll stay here until I catch one!"
So, they left him with the other children. Kisamaru spent most of their walk looking around, clearly searching for someone in the mess of people. Gohama and Hansuke shared knowing smiles when he excused himself with the pretext of being worried about Nikato.
The two of them continued on their stand exploration. Occasionally, Hansuke would lay his hand on the small of her back, guiding her through the openings between people. She was sure it was only an excuse to touch her and she didn't mind it at all. Yesterday had been proof that he was as attracted to her as she was to him. Even after being thrown into a river, Hansuke wasn't shying away from her. He used every little excuse to touch her and it was driving her crazy. From the escorting hand on her back, to the slide of her hair when it fell on her face, to the brush of his arm against hers, to the looming heat when he walked or stood close to her, to his voice against her ear when he talked above the noise. Small, fleeting touches meant as a prelude, as a promise to so much more. She wanted there to be more.
She wanted him. It was want, wasn't it? That's why all her insides writhed at the teasing, why her eyes kept fixing on his mouth and her own tingled when he used his tongue to wipe his lips after eating. This was no longer about searching for comfort or affection, it was lust. After years of only hate to kindle her bland insides, suddenly she burned up with this primal, captivating urge. It terrified her and fascinated her.
Gohama pulled the plastic bag with her fish into her line of sight, watching the animal swim around. "Toshi."
"You're going to name the fish?"
"Of course, I'm going to name him. Why wouldn't I name him?"
"Him?" he chuckled "Never thought you'd keep it, but now I see you have a soft spot for fish. I feel sorry for him."
Gohama shoved her shoulder against him as a playful warning to shut up. They found Ippon's corner table usual group at a table supporting too many bottles of sake.
"Of course, you're all in the one place you can drink sitting down." Gohama joked as they stopped by them. "I'm actually surprised you came to the festival."
Genma groaned. "Kyura! Are you trying to give us all blue balls in that kimono?"
"Hey, Genma," Hansuke growled "that's too far."
"You're disgusting, Shiranui." Gohama complained as she flopped down on a seat.
Hansuke sat on her right side, his thigh pressed against hers. She couldn't really scoot over to the left, because Kakashi was also too close for comfort. So, she just had to endure the heat and friction from his too frequent movements.
"Genma, you have no respect for the beauty of youth." Gai started and then turned to Gohama "It moves me to see a young woman dressed like a fragile flower but with the strength of a thousand rivers. The youthful force—"
Beside her, Kakashi whined without taking his eyes off his Icha Icha. "Here we go again…" he pushed a full cup of sake towards her "On me, so you can survive the speech."
She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow at his uncharacteristic generosity, but decided not to tease him. If Kakashi wanted to pay for her drinks every time Gai made his speeches, she wouldn't mess with it. The speech finally ended.
"Thanks, Gai," she said while raising her cup "appreciate the compliment."
His eyes glinted with emotion and gratitude.
"You flatterer." Kakashi accused.
"No, I'm not. Even if in a cheesy, too intense way, it's still a compliment."
"Yet, you didn't like Genma's. And before you finish that look, even if in a lecherous, too intense way, it's still a compliment."
"Go back to your book."
He chuckled in victory and raised his Icha Icha to his eyes again. They continued drinking and chatting throughout the night, just as in Ippon. Nikato and Kisamaru ended up joining them later.
"Ah, Kato-kun, I see you finally made it." she joked and picked up her plastic bag with Toshi inside, bumping it against the Nikato's one "Now, they can be friends."
"I thought you said we'd leave the almost-deadly-mission drinking for another day, Sensei…" Nikato grumbled when he saw the amount of sake bottles on the table and how he had lost it over a fish.
"What? You're having almost-deadly-mission drinking and didn't tell me?" Genma half-shouted, half-slurred.
"Yeah, everyone likes ADM drinking, guys…" Kotetsu whined from his slumped positions on the other side of the table.
"You had an ADM?" Kakashi leaned into her ear and asked.
"A few days ago. Kisamaru saved our butts." she explained while pointing over her shoulder with a thumb.
Nikato moved to sit at the now almost vacant table. "Nikato," Hansuke called "we'll finish the night at my place, the stalls are closing anyway."
Genma started standing up too.
"Not you, Shiranui, just my team."
"You're so boring now, Suke-kun… You used to throw the best hang outs at your place."
As she stood up, Gohama realised she was only a bit tipsy, which was surprising considering the amount of alcohol she thought she had drank. And now that she thought back, she hadn't even paid for any of it. When she was pulling her wallet from under her obi, a gloved hand took hold of her wrist. She looked down at an eye-crinkle hidden smile.
"I'll leave enough for both." she doubted, but wasn't going to fight him over free sake "Consider it a present, Gohama."
So Kakashi knew. She gave him a couple of condescending pats in the cheek with a thank you and left to catch up with her team.
Back at Hansuke's place, there was little drinking. They set the futon in the living room and the boys went right to sleep. Gohama still needed to sober up a bit and went to the porch. The sky was clear and the slight breeze fresh. It was a beautiful spring night, with the abandoned backyard covered in white wild daisies and blue flowers she didn't know what were called. The peach tree at the end blossomed with beautiful pink flowers.
Hansuke closed the door behind him, the soft snores of the boys still clear, and sat beside her. "Happy birthday, Gohama."
She smiled. "You know it's pass midnight."
"I knew you didn't want them to know."
"Is this why you insisted on going to the festival today?"
"Maybe." she gave a good-hearted scoff as response "Was it a good day, at least?"
She turned her head slightly to his, so she could smile at him. "It was."
He gave her a wide grin and his face lit up with excitement. "It's going to become even better, then. I have a present." He offered her a small wrapped box.
Gohama accepted it and, as she ripped through the paper, she would glance over at his expectant eyes, focussed on her hands. She was slightly hesitant, if she didn't like it than it would make the air between them awkward.
"Since this winter didn't snow in Konoha," he started as she opened the blue carton box and the thin paper ruffled when she moved it away "I thought I could give you something that reminded you of home."
Inside all the wrapping, box and paper was a silver necklace. The chain thin, almost fragile looking, and the pendant was a perfectly carved small snowflake. Simplicity was exactly what she valued in jewellery and, even if she had never shared that with him, he knew, because he knew her. The sight of the perfect present with the caring meaning behind it made her chest warm and ache. It was beautiful.
"Aren't you going to say anything…?" he sheepishly asked, moving away the tresses of hair that had fallen from her hairdo so he could study her face.
She turned to him with a small smile, not exactly knowing what to say. "Yes… Thank you."
Hansuke took the necklace from the box and gently coaxed her to turn around with a hand on her shoulder. The back of his fingers brushing against her neck was sending trills up and down her spine. He was having some trouble closing the lock. When he did it, he let out a relieved sigh and brushed his calloused thumb over the vertebrae that rose through her flesh, followed by a squeeze of her shoulders so she would turn back to him.
Automatically, she brought her fingers to the pendant, smoothing it out against her chest. He pulled her hand away to judge himself how the necklace looked on her. It fell slightly under her collarbone. Hansuke touched the snowflake with two of his fingers, then they slid over to the dip above the necklace and traced a firing path through her collarbone.
His gaze flickered to hers and her breath was caught in her throat. The heat and tenderness of his hazel eyes, dark in the night's dimness, brought with them thrill and intimacy. A new kind of intimacy, which they had only experienced for fleeting moments before, and that now burned with the promise of something deeper, something lasting.
His gaze fell to her lips and then to the fiery trail of his fingers, which followed the path of the fabric of her kimono onto her shoulder. Her breaths shallowed with every roamed inch and her cheeks reddened. He traced the arch of her shoulder and neck with gentle devotion, but his eyes showed the underlying violence of craving. Because, when he cupped her cheek and tilted her head so she would stare back at him, the gentleness had mixed with desire. Gohama instinctively knew and instinctively her stomach coiled and instinctively her own eyes burned with the same longing.
She watched his parted lips. There was no thinking, only the slow motion of nearing them. And Hansuke moved with her. Slowly and resolvedly, the meeting path an end on its own. She could feel the friction of his stroking thumb on her cheek and the warmth of his palm against her jaw and neck. His breath blending with her own, with the heat of her blushing cheeks. His nose and her nose touched first and she sighed in almost relief. The deep relief of comforting affection. She continued the path, but he stopped her movements, she pushed on, but his other hand moved to cup her face and hold it in place. He only let their foreheads lean against each other. Her heart sank and her gaze fixed on his mouth with aching.
"We shouldn't." he explain, his voice wonderfully strained.
"Why?" her own voice surprised her.
"I'm your team leader, Gohama. And I'm much older than you."
"Six years is nothing for us. We're shinobi."
"Six years is six years."
"Just once."
"I can't do just once. Not with you." he dropped his forehead to her shoulder with a groan "I'm sorry."
She chuckled dryly and brushed her hand through his hair in soothing, mostly mocking, waves. "You know it's rude to leave a girl high and dry on her birthday." her tone both humorous and biting. His only response was a louder groan.
She pulled his head back with her grip on his hair and pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek.
"For the beautiful present." she whispered against his cheek and parted to stand up.
"You know that doesn't help." he whined.
"I know." she answered with a mischievous smirk. "I'll take the bed, you sleep with the boys. It's my birthday after all and I was just denied a birthday kiss." she twirled on her bare feet and gave him a wave over her shoulder "Night, Suke."
However, he caught her hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed its back.
"There, a birthday kiss." his lips traced the words on her knuckles. The sweetness of the gesture with his gentle eyes was enough to fill her chest with warmth again. She squeezed his hand and went inside his bedroom. "Goodnight, Gohama." he wished to the shutting door.
Deep down, they both knew that, even playing the game of going back and forth, of the shinobi rules, of fighting their pull, the promise was still marked in each other's shared gazes.