Author's note: *ahem* Another free period. Selphie in a depressed mood: Not
likely, huh? Another chapter. Review Please!
The Other Half by WitchHazel
So what if I'm an optimist? Why do people see me as a person they can dump their worries and rants on? They look at me as a vibrant person with no problems. I have my own too. Everyone thinks I have moved on about the Trabia Garden destruction. But somehow, I haven't. It was all my fault. It was my turn to be leader and I failed the mission. My friends. They died because of my own mistakes, they paid with their lives because I botched the mission. The ones that are left forgave me, they knew I tried hard. But that doesn't cancel out the fact that both Gardens would have been destroyed if it weren't the fact that Balamb Garden could move! If it weren't for Squall, the Gardens would have been annihilated, meaning the sorceress would reign, meaning the end of the world!! All because of my stupid STUPID mistake! I feel helpless, weak. Cold. For once in my life, I want to be the one with the problems, the one who can depend on someone to be cheerful. I want to be coddled and not coddle.
I'm sighing. I'm looking into the mirror and seeing a person with "happy" hair. I see a sunny yellow dress and a roller-skate skinny figure. I see a person who looks like she loves shopping and hanging out with her friends. I plaster a fake smile on my face. It looks bright, cheerful and very different from my mood. I stop grinning, look out of the window and shiver. The sky is a placid blue turning pink around the edges with stars peeking through. A flock of birds fly across the canvas sky. Everything looks like it should be, a nice peaceful existence. But no, I am not some mall-rat shopping with my friends. I am an ugly, depressed mercenary sitting in front of the mirror with nunchucks nestled on her lap, with a blank expression on her face.
Irvine. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can't seem to stop loving him even though I sense he's cheating on me. I saw him once with his arm around a girl. But then again, he does that a lot. Does he purposely trying to hurt me? Does he really love me? Sometimes I don't know why I'm seeing him. Sometimes I love him so much it hurts. It's too painful to bear.
I feel so cold. The air-conditioning it my room is too high, but that's not why I feel chilly. It's from the inside. I hug myself for warmth, hoping maybe it will melt the ice that has covered my wounded soul. Where's the blissful optimist, now? I walk to my bed and lie down, covering myself with the warm moomba-patterned comforter, and shut my eyes tightly.
I want to talk to a person who has shared at least a percentage of my problems. Squall? He told Quistis to talk to a wall. I'm sure his reaction would me somewhat the same. Irvine is a part of the problem so I can't talk to him. Rinoa? She'll. She'll act the way I act. I'm not in a mood for that now. I need someone to listen. Not give advice or try in vain to cheer me up. Seifer? He wouldn't have the patience to hear me rant. Zell, him and the library girl (Ack! Forgot her name!) are so into each other it's practically disgusting. Since when did my best friend turn into a sap? Urgh. Quistis might help, except that she's on a mission right now.
Think happy thoughts, I tell myself.
...
It isn't working.
I try to clear my mind and nestle deeper into my bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.
Author's note: For Irvine fans (Quyksylver! Thanks.) out there, don't worry, I'll be doing his P.O.V. sooner or later. He isn't the person Selphie thinks. Ooh, also, please tell me whether I should make Irvine love Selphie back or if it's just a fling. Um, also, when you write in Irvine's mind, do you think I should use the cowboy slang? Or normal speech? Oh, and if you're wondering bout the title, think Selphie switching to her depressed, pessimistic half.
The Other Half by WitchHazel
So what if I'm an optimist? Why do people see me as a person they can dump their worries and rants on? They look at me as a vibrant person with no problems. I have my own too. Everyone thinks I have moved on about the Trabia Garden destruction. But somehow, I haven't. It was all my fault. It was my turn to be leader and I failed the mission. My friends. They died because of my own mistakes, they paid with their lives because I botched the mission. The ones that are left forgave me, they knew I tried hard. But that doesn't cancel out the fact that both Gardens would have been destroyed if it weren't the fact that Balamb Garden could move! If it weren't for Squall, the Gardens would have been annihilated, meaning the sorceress would reign, meaning the end of the world!! All because of my stupid STUPID mistake! I feel helpless, weak. Cold. For once in my life, I want to be the one with the problems, the one who can depend on someone to be cheerful. I want to be coddled and not coddle.
I'm sighing. I'm looking into the mirror and seeing a person with "happy" hair. I see a sunny yellow dress and a roller-skate skinny figure. I see a person who looks like she loves shopping and hanging out with her friends. I plaster a fake smile on my face. It looks bright, cheerful and very different from my mood. I stop grinning, look out of the window and shiver. The sky is a placid blue turning pink around the edges with stars peeking through. A flock of birds fly across the canvas sky. Everything looks like it should be, a nice peaceful existence. But no, I am not some mall-rat shopping with my friends. I am an ugly, depressed mercenary sitting in front of the mirror with nunchucks nestled on her lap, with a blank expression on her face.
Irvine. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can't seem to stop loving him even though I sense he's cheating on me. I saw him once with his arm around a girl. But then again, he does that a lot. Does he purposely trying to hurt me? Does he really love me? Sometimes I don't know why I'm seeing him. Sometimes I love him so much it hurts. It's too painful to bear.
I feel so cold. The air-conditioning it my room is too high, but that's not why I feel chilly. It's from the inside. I hug myself for warmth, hoping maybe it will melt the ice that has covered my wounded soul. Where's the blissful optimist, now? I walk to my bed and lie down, covering myself with the warm moomba-patterned comforter, and shut my eyes tightly.
I want to talk to a person who has shared at least a percentage of my problems. Squall? He told Quistis to talk to a wall. I'm sure his reaction would me somewhat the same. Irvine is a part of the problem so I can't talk to him. Rinoa? She'll. She'll act the way I act. I'm not in a mood for that now. I need someone to listen. Not give advice or try in vain to cheer me up. Seifer? He wouldn't have the patience to hear me rant. Zell, him and the library girl (Ack! Forgot her name!) are so into each other it's practically disgusting. Since when did my best friend turn into a sap? Urgh. Quistis might help, except that she's on a mission right now.
Think happy thoughts, I tell myself.
...
It isn't working.
I try to clear my mind and nestle deeper into my bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.
Author's note: For Irvine fans (Quyksylver! Thanks.) out there, don't worry, I'll be doing his P.O.V. sooner or later. He isn't the person Selphie thinks. Ooh, also, please tell me whether I should make Irvine love Selphie back or if it's just a fling. Um, also, when you write in Irvine's mind, do you think I should use the cowboy slang? Or normal speech? Oh, and if you're wondering bout the title, think Selphie switching to her depressed, pessimistic half.