Author's note: What is the library girl's name again? Does she even have a
name? Grr. Oh well, I'll call her Aria. Nother free period. Hope you like
it, nuff said.
The Bullied One (Zell) by WitchHazel
People say I shoulda been born with red hair, because of my temper. They think I'm shallow, and I'm not. Well, at least I don't think I am. Everyone sees me as the quick-tempered, insensitive little teenager who has not quite reached adulthood yet.
Only Aria sees me as I am. Aria, the sweet library girl whose name nobody cares to remember. She makes me feel like a man, not just a kid someone can pick on. She knows the horrible regret I feel about what happened to Trabia, and what coulda happened to Balamb. Selphie forgave me, I know, but I see she blames it more on herself. I want to tell her that it's my fault and that I would never abandon her. But she seems to have isolated herself from me, always flashing that quick smile of hers instead of letting me see the pain she's in. I don't think she wants my help, with the way she's going on.
But that's not the reason why I want to write this down. I want to write down the true me, which is sure as hell not "thoughtless, superficial" and all the other things people relate to my name.
I told my mother that I joined SeeD because I wanted to be like my grandfather, but in reality, I wanted to be strong. People like picking on me, I can see that by the way Seifer's eyes gleam when he's trying to piss me off. I wanted to be able to defend myself, and be strong enough to retaliate if they do that to me. I'm sorry to say that I'm a sensitive person, susceptible to people who insult me. My blood starts to boil and my fists start flying. I try to fight back, but no one seems to take me seriously, which makes me even madder. Like I said, red hair.
I apparently reek vulnerability. I don't understand it, dammit! I've tried, I really have. I've become a level A SeeD, I've tried in vain to fight back, and I've even got this painful tattoo on my face! I don't understand it. They still treat me like I can be just brushed away.
Am I just imagining this? Is this really happening? Is it just in my eyes? Do people see me as strong or as pathetic? Am I just imagining it?
I'm shaking my head, and looking at the dim surroundings of my room. It's not messy, like people expect it to be. My magazines are piled neatly on my desk. My closet holds some of my clothes and my old gloves. Everything is neat. I can't stand any mess in my room, when I can't even oppose the emotional turmoil inside of me.
I feel so confused sometimes! Why me? Why am I the chicken-wuss? Haven't I tried to prove over and over again that I'm not a coward? That I want to be able to fight back?
Sometimes I feel like I deserve this, even though in the back of my mind, I know I don't. Why exactly? I'm not sure. But somehow, I seem to tell myself "You are so pathetic. You are weak. All you care about is hotdogs. You are shallow." It's like some terrible chant that seems to cut into me.
I used to feel that I was so alone. Before. It was my pre-Aria period. She seems to be the only one holding me up through all of this. Only she knows who I really am. Even though I don't really know who I am myself.
Author's not: Well, here ya go, I apologize about the shortness. But I think it has to be short, but deep. Hehe. Like Zell. *ducks tomatoes thrown by Zell fans* Just kidding! Zell is a sweetie and I love him. I'll think about whom to do next. Squall? Edea? Some other character I forgot? Tell me your opinion. I'll have to think about it. Review me! REVIEW OR I'LL. I'll think of something. :-)
The Bullied One (Zell) by WitchHazel
People say I shoulda been born with red hair, because of my temper. They think I'm shallow, and I'm not. Well, at least I don't think I am. Everyone sees me as the quick-tempered, insensitive little teenager who has not quite reached adulthood yet.
Only Aria sees me as I am. Aria, the sweet library girl whose name nobody cares to remember. She makes me feel like a man, not just a kid someone can pick on. She knows the horrible regret I feel about what happened to Trabia, and what coulda happened to Balamb. Selphie forgave me, I know, but I see she blames it more on herself. I want to tell her that it's my fault and that I would never abandon her. But she seems to have isolated herself from me, always flashing that quick smile of hers instead of letting me see the pain she's in. I don't think she wants my help, with the way she's going on.
But that's not the reason why I want to write this down. I want to write down the true me, which is sure as hell not "thoughtless, superficial" and all the other things people relate to my name.
I told my mother that I joined SeeD because I wanted to be like my grandfather, but in reality, I wanted to be strong. People like picking on me, I can see that by the way Seifer's eyes gleam when he's trying to piss me off. I wanted to be able to defend myself, and be strong enough to retaliate if they do that to me. I'm sorry to say that I'm a sensitive person, susceptible to people who insult me. My blood starts to boil and my fists start flying. I try to fight back, but no one seems to take me seriously, which makes me even madder. Like I said, red hair.
I apparently reek vulnerability. I don't understand it, dammit! I've tried, I really have. I've become a level A SeeD, I've tried in vain to fight back, and I've even got this painful tattoo on my face! I don't understand it. They still treat me like I can be just brushed away.
Am I just imagining this? Is this really happening? Is it just in my eyes? Do people see me as strong or as pathetic? Am I just imagining it?
I'm shaking my head, and looking at the dim surroundings of my room. It's not messy, like people expect it to be. My magazines are piled neatly on my desk. My closet holds some of my clothes and my old gloves. Everything is neat. I can't stand any mess in my room, when I can't even oppose the emotional turmoil inside of me.
I feel so confused sometimes! Why me? Why am I the chicken-wuss? Haven't I tried to prove over and over again that I'm not a coward? That I want to be able to fight back?
Sometimes I feel like I deserve this, even though in the back of my mind, I know I don't. Why exactly? I'm not sure. But somehow, I seem to tell myself "You are so pathetic. You are weak. All you care about is hotdogs. You are shallow." It's like some terrible chant that seems to cut into me.
I used to feel that I was so alone. Before. It was my pre-Aria period. She seems to be the only one holding me up through all of this. Only she knows who I really am. Even though I don't really know who I am myself.
Author's not: Well, here ya go, I apologize about the shortness. But I think it has to be short, but deep. Hehe. Like Zell. *ducks tomatoes thrown by Zell fans* Just kidding! Zell is a sweetie and I love him. I'll think about whom to do next. Squall? Edea? Some other character I forgot? Tell me your opinion. I'll have to think about it. Review me! REVIEW OR I'LL. I'll think of something. :-)