Part III | Chapter 8

The smell of eggs and tomatoes woke her up. Her head was throbbing and she rolled herself onto the opposite side of the offensive light spilling through the wall made of windows. Why hadn't Kakashi closed the blinds? Gohama pushed her face against the pillows with a monster groan. A chuckle sounded from the kitchen.

Her body was fighting between staying in bed for the rest of the day and getting up to eat something. The hangover wasn't so bad, seeing as her stomach was churning with hunger and the smell of food didn't make her gag.

With another roll on the bed, she lay on her back. Her head tilted to the other side, Kakashi's side, the sheets were unturned. One glance at the couch and its cushions were as pristinely fluffy as before. He probably hadn't slept at all, judging by the Icha Icha still on the balcony's table.

With one swift, unmerciful to her head, movement, Gohama got up.

"How long will it take?" she asked right behind him, careful not to let her hangover breath reach his nose.

He jerked a little at her voice. She had actually managed to startle him. The smell of food and the constant scent of her from sharing a room had tricked that creepy nose of his.

"Good morning to you too." he waited for her to reply with a greeting, but gave up. "Five minutes."

Pakkun's words were still lingering in her thoughts, so she left to take another shower. She knew it was futile since she would sleep with Dazai that night, but she couldn't help the urge to be free from him at least during the day. Even after the burning water, Gohama still felt like shit.

They sat down to eat and Kakashi didn't waste time. "Brief me on our options."

Gohama kept her eyes on the twirling of her chopsticks around the eggs. "There are almost none. He has three Jonin bodyguards at his bedroom door. The room is completely sealed, doors, walls, ceilings, floors and windows. Adding to the completely protected suite. The door needs a person inside and out to open, so that escape is out of question. The window only needs Dazai's chakra, since there's no one in the balcony."

"That's good news, you can take his chakra."

"It would be if I could actually do it. For me to manipulate others' chakra I need my own. His safety agreement, because he obviously knows I'm here to kill him, is for us to be in equal circumstances of power… or powerlessness." She finally looked at him. "We both have chakra shackles."

Now it was his turn to look away, as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"The worst part is that clearly they aren't equal. He can free himself with a key he keeps away and I can only if I leave the room. He says it's because he needs to open the seals. It's true. But he'd never let himself be completely vulnerable and he knows I have to accept any conditions for the mission."

"Have you tried freeing yourself?"

Gohama glared at him and he winced. "No, I spent the entire night enjoying myself while my S-rank target fucked me, all the more happy that I had no chakra, not a fucking care in the world."

"You know I have to ask, Gohama."

"Well, you didn't have to ask it that way." Expelling a breath between a scoff and a sigh, she shook her head. "I can't summon weapons. Even if I killed him with my bare hands, I'd be stuck there. Honestly, I think we don't have many options." Her eyes instinctively shifted to the two frail chakra signatures twirling in the sky. How could birds survive in Kiku? The city was rotten, morally and physically. "I can kill him out of his room, which is impossible without me dying too."

Kakashi stood still, looking at his breakfast. His shoulders were hunched as always. Didn't he get any kinks from that? Just sitting at her dining table while writing reports had her running for Kisamaru's soothing chakra massages. It could not be practical for a ninja.

One of his hands held his chin, a finger extended to press against his lips, hidden somewhere under that mask. He usually did that when he was thinking. Did he even know he had such a striking tell? The fabric moved when he spoke and stretched when he smiled sometimes, never when he did those fake eye-crinkled ones, he probably only had to move his one visible eye.

Except for his nose and jaw, it was not enough to trace the lines of his features. She could only make out a faded contour of his mouth. For Gohama, it felt as if Kakashi didn't even have a face under the mask. That's what he wanted, wasn't it? For people to forget there was something under there.

He looked up, back at her, and she fought the urge to avert her eyes awkwardly at being caught staring. Kakashi didn't seem to care as his serious expression switched into his fake eye-creased smile. She hated it. "What do you want to do today?"

What a pathetic attempt at deviating from their looming problem. He was usually so good at that.

"You have nothing." She said with a small, fake smile of her own. "We'll find a way, Kakashi. Even if it means a death in action for me. I've been ready for it for quite some time."

"You're not very good at reassuring people. Besides, if someone is to die in action it will be me. I've also been ready for it far longer than you."

"So, you're turning it into a competition, Copy-nin." she joked.

"You know I have to be the best in everything, including death wishes."

They shared a comfortable gaze. As always, Gohama shifted to the side, showing him that he could start eating his food with no impeding offense to his privacy. They talked of nothing as they ate. There was nothing to be said.

"I think I'm staying around today." she broke the silence.

"I'm staying too."

Kakashi watched her rise from the chair and pick up the telephone.

"Could you, please, bring a bottle of scotch to the room?" The sound of static speech. "Thank you." she hang up.

That had been polite. The most polite he had ever seen Gohama be. As when he had first seen her with that green dress or a kimono for the festival months ago, there was surprise at first because of the foreignness. But Kakashi only had to watch her for a few moments to feel the familiarity Gohama herself showed. Being polite, dressing fancily, exuding class, those were all things she had been brought up to do.

Her prowess in the ninja arts were sign of her position as a last Kyura, but it was in this moments that she came out as the noble clan's heiress. So different from Sasuke, whose title had come only through the massacre. His student had only shown conceit, but not the dignity. No matter how much people bunched the Uchiha and Kyura together, Gohama's clan was much similar to the Hyuga. In their tradition and decorum.

Kakashi had always thought those ridiculous on a group of shinobi meant to kill. What need was there for that in the field, when one fought for one's own life by stealing others? The propriety was nothing but the reminiscence of an ancient time before the Hidden Villages, when ninja were also feudal lords. Superfluous, almost petty.

Yet, seeing Gohama in a kimono, all grace and delicacy, fascinated him. He knew there was nothing fragile about her. In an instant, she could wrap someone in a chakra field and crush them to death without even moving her hands, hidden inside long, unpractical sleeves. The balance between two opposites, the delicacy and the deadliness, the rule of two faces of different coins. There was nothing petty about that.

Why did she hide it? Gohama had complained about the show off Kyura Inaku had had to give. Had she also been a part of it? Very likely. She certainly had hated it. Or maybe she just resented it now, out of grief. How much had the massacre made her change? She never talked about her childhood.

There was a seed of curiosity in him about it and he didn't know where it had come from. So he enjoyed this rare moments when Gohama showed her heiress side, with a mix of fascination and sorrow, because there was something about it that left a sour taste in his mouth.

He wondered if her child self had been the same. Kakashi couldn't just ask and expect her to answer. He could understand her reasons, they were much alike in their coping processes. But he didn't want her to end up like him. Old and miserable, alone and mistrustful.

Gohama started making the bed. Now that was something weird that would never stop feeling weird.

"You know they make them for you in hotels."

"I don't really want people to barge in here."

He accepted it. He watched her and he knew she knew he was watching her. She didn't seem uncomfortable and he couldn't stop watching. He watched her tuck the sheets and brush them into wrinkless softness. It was a simple and domestic task, completely opposite of the portrait he had painted of Gohama just a few moments ago. This time he couldn't reconcile her with the homely picture. Maybe that's what had given it a new wonder in his eyes.

Of course, she knew how to make beds. He was sure she didn't have a maid back in Konoha. Why could he only see sides of Gohama? The ninja side, the heiress side, the common person side. Wasn't she all of them at once? She was the same as he was, as everyone was, a multitude of sides all at once.

This mission was turning him into a pedantic philosophical mess. It was always so much simpler when he kept only to his books and to his autopilot missions. His thoughts had to be carefully managed and this was messing his balance. Gohama or not, being a handler on a seduction mission always fucked him up.

He remembered every one of them. He remembered Hansuke's, luckily only two. Kakashi had always tried to avert them from his ANBU squad, but with those hazel eyes of Hansuke, it had been obvious one day it would have to come. He had been only fifteen, so scared and confused. When they had reached their inn room, he had broken and cried. Hansuke had cried so much and shared too much. Kakashi hadn't wanted to know and still he listen and he said the typical things "It's normal. You can hate it and your body still reacts.". The next morning he had begged Kakashi not to tell anyone about his weakness. Weakness he had called it.

At that time, Hansuke was a lost boy, too focussed on being the cold, emotionless perfect shinobi, the badass. But he wasn't. Hansuke had always been good and ANBU had almost stolen that from him. Yugao had convinced him to join. He was so stupidly in love with her then, he would have followed her anywhere she went.

Good thing he had left ANBU for good. Even if it had been that last mission to finally break him to the ground. If even Kakashi, who had done the most fucked up things before, had almost broken, it was obvious Hansuke wouldn't bear it. If Kakashi could go back, he would never let him take the mission.

They had always stepped around it, never calling it by what it was. They were forbidden to discuss it, it was a Village Secret. But they weren't scared because of that. Maybe Hansuke wasn't scared at all, he had his priorities in order. But Kakashi was terrified out of his fucking mind. The realisation of what it had meant was so palpable now, so painful, so close…

Gohama, his unfocused gaze fixed back on her and he shut his mind off. She was wearing black sweat pants and a fitted, tucked in shirt. It suited her. It made her look slim and fit, while being agreeable with her curves. Kakashi knew he shouldn't watch her like this, he shouldn't enjoy her light and swift steps as she moved towards the bathroom and then came back out, falling onto the bed, messing up the work she had done before.

He brushed a tired hand over his hair and sprawled on the chair sloppily. What was happening with him? Was Kakashi that scared that, if he turned his eyes away from her, Gohama would disappear? It was absolutely irrational and pitiful, but, after yesterday's helpless night, he no longer cared about what was sensible. Nothing about this mission was sensible.

He would find a way to be the one to assassinate Dazai and keep Gohama safe. He couldn't let her into his room again. He had purged her with his disgusting smell, his nauseating cologne. She was still there, lying on the bed, but, even when she denied showing it to him, he knew Dazai had stolen a piece of her. Every seduction mission asked and stole away.

"You didn't sleep on the bed."

It was more an affirmation than a question, but he still felt the need to answer. "No."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Of course."

"Come lie on the bed." She knew he was lying.

He didn't think about it. He just did. They both lay above the covers, she was sideways and facing him. Kakashi had his arm behind his head and turned his face to look at her instead of the ceiling. Gohama had her eyes closed, her eyelashes still tinted with remains of mascara. He knew she knew he was watching her. The soft rise and fall of her torso was soothing.

His eyelids soon became heavy. He was afraid she would disappear as she had done the night before. He tried to fight his sleepiness until he couldn't grip himself anymore. He let his mind drift to sleep. She had said she was staying.

When he finally opened his eyes again his heart jumped. She wasn't there anymore. He tried to grasp his consciousness as quickly as he could and looked around. Gohama was just outside at the balcony, drinking scotch. He hadn't even felt the hotel staff come in…

He brushed his face to wash away the heavy sleep. The jerk at finding her missing wouldn't let him fall asleep again, so he went to her. Only when he stepped outside did he realise it was already late in the afternoon.

There were two cushioned chairs across from each other and table between them. Taking the scotch bottle from it, he filled his own glass. The amber drink swirled around and as he went to sit across from her.

"Did you spend all day sitting here?"

She looked towards him. Her eyes were hazy from the alcohol and her green tired. Kakashi clenched his jaw and brought the glass to his masked lips.

"No, I slept until noon."

"You should have woken me up." She didn't have to do this alone.

"I could never, not when you were sleeping like a baby."

"Have you written to Tsukate since coming to the Leaf?"

The random question just spilled from his mouth without his consent. It took his mind a long time to catch up with what he had said. Had he dreamed about Tsukate to remember him suddenly in all this mess of a mission?

Gohama continued to stare at the city landscape. Of course, she was going to ignore him.

"Why not? I'm sure he would love to hear about you." Her knuckles whitened against the glass. Kakashi knew he was pushing it, but she looked so subdued, sitting there, looking at nowhere. It only seemed worse when she didn't answer him again. "You miss him." He stated.

Her lips twisted into a sad, nostalgic smile. "Too much to write."

Kakashi had never expected Gohama to answer, least of all so honestly. Maybe a joke, or a lash out, but not vulnerable honesty. He picked up his book, realising he had left it on the table, and set out to read.

They kept silent for the rest of their time there. The afternoon had brought dust to the streets under them. The misty scene gentled the harsh lines of the city and the setting sun softened the colour of the buildings with orange light. Gohama's pale skin was now an amber tone, her dark hair had gained fleeting tinges of copper. Her position stayed the same since he had sat with her. Her stare was captive of a vague spot in front of them. It was wistful and weary and it tore at him.

The pages of Icha Icha were too shadowed to keep pretending he was reading.

When the dark night settled and all the loud lights were blinking, she finally moved. Gohama looked at him and gave him a small smile. He hated it.

He didn't ask where she was going when she went inside. Nor when she left the room.

He would wait for her and she would come back.

He had been rougher and she had been duller.

Dazai didn't seem to care. He had taken the lead and fucked her with all the resentment he had for her clan. He liked calling her Kyura. He liked insulting her and degrading her and every phrase that rolled down his coarse tongue had to have the name Kyura in it. When he came he repeatedly growled his achievement, "I win, Kyura. I win.", in her ear.

He was more satisfied when it ended. Gohama was more sore.

She couldn't break free from the shackles. She decided to risk it and take them down with her for Kakashi to examine them. She hid her bruises well and went back down onto the balcony where he waited for her. She could feel Dazai's sperm sliding down her thigh, so she sped to the shower. Her walking was strained from the pain between her legs, she desperately tried not to show it as she moved. Kakashi seemed too focused on the shackles to care.

After her shower, she avidly downed three glasses of scotch and went to bed. She pulled the covers over her head and her knees onto her chest. She let the alcohol daze her conscious to sleep.

When she woke up, Kakashi was still sleeping beside her. Her head was throbbing and she felt sick. She took her usual seat at the balcony and watched the waking city.

Gohama was being weak, but, because she was weak, she had no strength to push forward. She endured it but only that. She felt so dirty she couldn't even let her mind dwell on Hansuke. The thought of him had stopped comforting her, it only made her ache run deeper, crueller.

So, she let her mind blank as she knew how to do so well. She couldn't stop thinking, but she would weave her thoughts through irrelevant things. Like how the birds in front of her seemed lost in Kiku, or the people crossing the street below, or the blinking sign of 'Hot Kitties', perpetually glowing, or her attempt to perfectly rip the label out of the bottle.

'A whiskey with the subtle hints of oak, absorbed from the traditional aging barrels. Its deep smoky taste and' other loads of fucking bullshit. Well, maybe they weren't. She didn't know. It tasted of nothing to her.

"Let's spar." she had asked Kakashi as he stepped outside.

"Okay."

They reached one of the flattest fields that surrounded Kiku. The high altitude covered the land in low green and purple plants. The soil was tricky, between higher bushes and never a flat ground, but it was good for training.

Right away, Gohama stood in front of him, her tanto already in her hand and its gleaming blade pointed at him. "I want to fight your sharingan." she said.

Of course she did. The last and only time they had fought was during the Jonin Exam. Kakashi had used his sharingan, but his objective was mostly to force her into making decisions and protecting her teammates. She had chosen sensibly and had run away when an opening came. Now she wanted to see if she truly could hold up against a sharingan.

"I usually don't spar with it."

"I don't care. Uncover your eye."

She was feisty today. If that was what she wanted he wouldn't say no. He uncovered his Sharingan and could see, more than feel, her raged chakra exhaling from her body. The mission was getting to her. She needed to let her anger and frustration out on someone other than Dazai. Kakashi was there for it.

"Don't hold back." she threateningly said.

He wasn't going to. It would offend her if he did. With a volley of shuriken and kunai to distract her, he disappeared underground in a flash. He had left one kage bushin in front of her. After she blocked and evaded every one of his weapons, Gohama narrowed her eyes and let out a despising scoff. "You think I can't tell the difference." Came her muffled words from above the earth.

That was his cue to leave the unsafety of the ground. Kakashi tried to jump into the surface right under her, so he could grasp her ankle and pull her down. Already expecting this, Gohama was up in the air when he came up and the soil he landed on was mud. Smart and intricate jutsu, he hadn't expected her to know it.

His bushin had lunged towards her, but Kakashi called him to help himself out of the mud. With a sacrificial pull, he was back on solid ground and his bushin dispelled. Gohama didn't wait for him to catch his breath. A cutting gust of wind was already slashing the air towards him. She was fast with hand seals, but not as fast as he was and not fast enough to overpower his sharingan's perception. A wall of stone rose between the two of them and stopped her jutsu.

With her chakra perfectly masked, he only detected her already falling from the sky, green eyes fierce and tanto ready to stab, because of the sharingan. His arm was fast enough in fetching a kunai from his pouch and blocking her attack. Seeing her surprise attack had failed, she jumped away from him. A safe distance between the two of them. Gohama knew she couldn't win against him in a body to body fight.

Still, she smirked. "Almost got you there, hmm, Copy-nin?"

He narrowed his gaze on that cocky twist of her lips. It was time to use the thousand jutsu he had copied.

With the fast and precise dance of his hands, a giant water dragon flew past him, sharp droplets stabbing into the side of his face. His breathing came out ragged, even if his chakra supply was still high. It always took a bit of a toll to use that justu with no water sources near him. A flick of her wrist and a wave of blue chakra tore the dragon into rain.

He knew she would do that. Semi-long range attacks weren't very efficient with her chakra manipulation. He had to lead her into a close range fight, as genjutsu didn't work on her.

"Do you still think I'm not on Jonin level?"

Well, she was still stuck on that and still didn't understand his reason. He desperately had to win now, just so he could shut down that maddening haughty smirk out of her.

"Let's see."

Gohama let a heavy mist set around them. That was another surprising jutsu for her to know. Until that day, Kakashi had only witnessed Kiri nin accomplishing it, except for himself, but he had had the sharingan to copy it from Zabuza. Bukigakure had taken hold of some Kiri secrets before vanishing from the ninja world. It had been smart of them. With Kyura as master sensors, a battle could be easily and silently won.

The flowing feel of Gohama's chakra was hidden from him and the sharingan couldn't see through the mist. Never once in their spar had she let her chakra spike outside of ninjutsu. Kakashi was blind to her position, her tactic was to keep her distance and attack with jutsu or weapons.

As a wave of senbon raged towards him, he nodded at her furtive choice. In a real battle if they had been bathed in poison, only one scrap was enough. There was no need to fight big and flashy. Yet it surprised him, Gohama had always had a flashy direct style.

Using a wind jutsu he pushed the mist away. He quickly found her, still smirking.

"Are you seriously going to play safe, Kyura?" he was sure to show condescendence.

"Are you just going to wait for me to attack you, Hatake?"

He wasn't. He felt a smug satisfaction at her shock, so poorly masked, at having her feet stuck in mud and stone wrapping around her body. Kakashi quickly stood in front of her and leaned for a curt, "No."

As a response, her gaze focussed on the sharingan, daring him to use it on her. He conceded, even if for his own curiosity at seeing how she perceived it. It was one of his strongest genjutsu. The type that flowed seamlessly from reality into illusion, the type that trapped and wounded for its realness.

The fierce green of her eyes flickered in recognition right away. How was she at a sharingan user level of detection? At least, her mind was still locked in his genjutsu, he could feel it fighting with the sharingan's power, his optical nerve already burning from the strain. Whatever experiment he could improvise would have to happen another time, when they weren't on a mission. His chakra hold on her snapped and she freed herself. The sharp blade of his kunai was already pressed against her throat.

"I'm not that easy." she spat while her chakra split the stone trapping her.

He saw this as an opportunity to trap her in a taijutsu fight. He released a series of attacks and she was forced to defend herself instead of fleeing. He could easily block her plain taijutsu. He noticed her kicks were strained and took advantage of this to catch her by the ankle, when she tried to kick his head. She settled her hands on the floor and rotated so he would be thrown off his feet from the force or release her. Now was his time to kick when she tried to gain her posture.

His sharingan and speed were beginning to overpower her. Knowing this, Gohama became more ruthless. She could have escaped onto safer distance, but she liked the challenge. Kakashi saw it in the fire of her eyes, the ones that had been so dull just yesterday. He responded in kind, punching his way onto her defences and she dodged or protected herself with her forearms.

Taking advantage of her distraction, he used his feet as a pitfall and she stumbled onto the soil. He hastily pinned her down, his knees on her legs and his free hand gripping her wrists, while the other held a kunai to her neck. She looked absolutely peeved with her defeat and he felt like boasting a little.

"I win, Kyura."

Her eyes widen and her mouth twisted. For a second, Gohama just stared at him completely frozen, and the sharingan saw too many heartbeats for such a short time. Kakashi was too confused to fight her when she grabbed his flak jacket and pushed him against the ground. She straddled him and her fists hammered down on him, wild and clumsy. She was punching like a civilian woman and it still hurt. All he could do was raise his forearms and let them take the hits.

"Gohama, stop. What are you doing?"

Her grunts of fury and effort were his only answer, Kakashi was sure she hadn't even heard him. What he had said had triggered this frantic lash out. It had to be because of Dazai.

At least, her attacks were more about releasing pent up emotion rather than effectively wounding him. It made it easier for him to sneak his hands onto her wrists and gripped them firmly against his chest. She still continued to fight him.

A movement made her hair fall away from her face and he could finally study her expression. Her wide green eyes were reddened but she wasn't crying. Her breaths were fast and heavy, the same as her heartbeat. Only once had he seen such emotion in her scared, angered and vulnerable look. It stabbed into him more deeply that he would have liked.

"It's okay, Gohama. It's just me."

Recognition passed through her eyes but she still continued to fight his hold. With a ragged and tired exhale, she gave up, her chin fell down into her chest and all he could see was a curtain of hair. Her arms went limp and he loosened his fingers' lock on them.

"It's just me." He reassured again.

Gohama let her forehead fall onto his chest. He gently brushed her hair and back, trying to ease her with his unsure touch. His insides warmed when he started feeling her give in. Finally she was giving in into his attempts at supporting her. It gave him a sort of high mixed with comfort.

It lasted too short a time. Gohama stiffened against him. In an instant, she was up again and a cool draft of wind swept over his front.

"I have to go." her voice was the perfect model of blankness.

"Wait, Gohama, we'll go—"

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you, but I just need to take a walk." She never said she was sorry to people.

She disappeared into a swirl of snowflakes. He sighed and sprawled himself back on the prickly ground. Her walls could never come down that easily.

Kakashi waited for her in the hotel room. It was already evening and she hadn't come back. His concern was eating at him until he couldn't wait anymore. He summoned Pakkun and asked him to find where she was. He came back saying she was on a room five floors above them.

Why had she came back there? He had told her that day those shackles were unbreakable for human chakra. He had used them in prisoners and people had used them on him before. It was hopeless.

His own plans for killing Dazai didn't bring any consolation. The mission was an S-rank seduction one for a reason. They were stuck. He knew she wouldn't give up, even if there wasn't any chance of completing it, she wouldn't give up.

Kakashi stopped pacing around the room and sat at the dining table. He brushed a hand over his hair and took off his hitai-ate. Then he wrote a letter to Tsunade asking if the mission could be changed into a regular assassination one. He being the team leader and more experienced would be the one to assassinate, however his mission of protecting Gohama would still be on.

He pulled out a scroll and swiped a bloody thumb over it. One of Konoha's massager birds appeared and he let it fly out of the balcony. Tsunade's response should arrive the next day at night.

Gohama came back almost at dawn. Her expression weary and empty, the same as when she stared into nothingness at the balcony. He smiled and said her name and, like the other nights, she went straight to the bathroom. She reeked of Dazai, more than the other nights. It made his blood boil and heart sink.

She came back to the balcony for her bedtime scotch shots, tonight they were five. She had already been stumbling a little, he hoped from alcohol only. Then, she hid herself under the covers. Soon, he followed her to bed. He lay down on the farthest spot from her, his back turned to her.

"I know the combination of the window seal." Gohama informed matter-of-factly.

"You're not going back to Dazai. I sent a letter to Tsunade."

"What?" She hissed.

"Her response will come tomorrow but I'm sure this will change to a regular mission."

"You think I can't do it…" she was hurt.

"Not with the chakra shackles."

"You think I'm too weak to endure it… It's just sex."

"Is it just sex? You changed your pyjamas, you stopped wearing t-shirts or shorts. He bruises you."

"I'm just cold."

Kakashi laughed at her lame excuse, he didn't know what else to do.

"Why don't you let me help you?"

"This is my mission, it's for me to complete it."

"No, Gohama, it isn't. I'm the team leader and I have enough reason to see this approach won't take us anywhere. This is our mission."

"You only came so I wouldn't be alone."

He finally turned towards her. She also had her back turned to him. "Then why don't you let me be with you."

A bitter scoff. "You're here, aren't you?"

"But you're not."

She stayed quiet. He placed his hand on her shoulder and gently turned her to face him. Her eyes were hazy and tired, but there was a proud starkness in them. The one that had kept her from tearing or fading apart after so many years. At least, that hadn't worn away. Yet.

"Why don't you talk to me? Or pass out from alcohol? Or cry? You're so moderate, so blank, Gohama. Why don't you react? All you do is stare at the city and drink but never until you're truly drunk. You need to let it out or you're going to drown, Gohama."

She tilted her face away from him. "I did freak out today."

"And that was the only human thing you did since this started. The only time you were here. You almost gave in, why did you stop?"

"What do you want from me?" she breathed out tiredly.

"You need to react. To talk or cry."

"I'm a kunoichi."

"And that wouldn't make you any less of a kunoichi." He sighed, he knew little of what he said would make a difference. "You don't have to be proud with me, Gohama." his tone came out more pleading than he would have liked.

"I just want to sleep." She made an act of it by closing her eyes and ignoring him.

Kakashi's hand on her shoulder prevented her from rolling away, instead turning her to face him. With a hesitant gesture, he extended his arm to wrap around her back loosely. Gohama didn't seem uncomfortable, just indifferent as she continued on her act of sleep. He was glad she had allowed him to be there with her.

He woke up in the middle of what he supposed was the morning. The hotel blinds were high quality and the room was covered in night's dimness. Their distance was wider now, but her hand and fingers had sneaked to the front of his masked mouth. The warmth irradiating from them was taunting him, if she were awake she would feel his breaths on the back of her hand.

But Gohama was awake. A thing he had learned about her on this mission was that she looked completely different when asleep. Her features turned into soft lines and almost candid. But now, Kakashi could see the hardness that always loomed in her expression when awake. Gohama opened her eyes, no sleep whirled in her green, only resolve. What was she resolved about at seven in the morning, two hours of sleep in?

Her hand moved so slowly and hesitantly it didn't match the look in her eyes. The pad of her finger grazed his chin. When he didn't stop her, her fingers continued their path through his jaw and cheek, her touch always feathery and gentle on his mask. The warmth of her fingerprints settled on his lips, as she traced the shape that she couldn't see.

Kakashi closed his eyes, so she could continue her explorations without the pressure of his gaze. He could still feel hers thorough his eyelids. Or maybe it was just so he could savour her touches deeper and her scent sharper. He didn't dare move nor open his eyes, afraid of scaring her off like what had happened yesterday.

She parted onto his covered cheek, there was innocent curiosity in her touches. Sliding onto his nose, she first felt the uncovered part and then the other. His brow, the soft eyelid of his dark eye and forehead. She traced every crease and plain of his face, except for the rugged scar over his left eyebrow, eye and cheek. She played with the hem of his mask and started hooking her slender fingers in it. He now had to move. He opened his eyes and held her hand gently.

Gohama understood. She held his hand back and placed it on her hip. Then went back to studying his face with soft and warm fingers. He started brushing her hip tenderly, his eyes asking for permission and she agreed. He mimicked her gestures on her hip, waist, stomach and back.

She left his skin and moved towards his hair. The pleased sigh he was holding finally escaped. He jerked his eyes open, afraid of having scared her. She smiled simply and continued with her kind caresses. He pushed her closer and she slightly gripped his hair as he did so. Their bodies still weren't touching.

He risked adventuring on her hip under her shirt. He could feel the tingles and goose bumps on her skin from his contact. He pulled the shirt upwards until it reached her ribs. He didn't look down to see the bruises he was sure were there. With careful twirls and traces, he soothed the skin, his eyes watching her expression intently for any sign that he was hurting her. If he did, she never showed it.

Gohama moved her hand onto his shoulder and collarbone and chest. Even through the tight undershirt he always wore, Kakashi still had to control the tantalising feel of her touch. When her touch slid onto his waist, so she could push herself closer, a trill ran through his body and settled on his lap. He didn't want this in that way, this wasn't meant to be that way.

"Gohama… we should stop…"

Her hand moved to the uncovered skin on his arm. Her thumb focussed on the rough raise of a deep scar he had there.

"I need the touch of a man that isn't he."

He sighed. Why had he let himself go on a dry period for so long? "My body is reacting."

"I don't mind. I just need you to be gentle."

He took his eyes off her and looked down. She pushed his jaw up, showing she wanted him to look at her. He did. Her eyes dim in the darkness, firm and calm. "I trust you."

The words ripped into him, his heart pounding heavier, his muscles tensing. The three simple words stirred his guilt, the same of the day he had kissed her, the same that was latent in him when he was with her or saw her or thought of her. But it also stirred his affection, that was bursting from inside with all this caring he hadn't known he had for her.

Maybe it was this strange intimate thing he had never experienced with any other woman, of just sharing little caresses for no other reason but that. Maybe it was because of this mission. Gohama had awakened in him a softness that he could only compare to the one he had for his students. But, no matter how nice it felt now, it would always be bitter, he would never be able to clean his care from his guilt. That was why he cared about her, wasn't it?

Somehow, feeling all this for Gohama didn't scare him and that was what scared him even more. But he couldn't move away from her now. Not when she needed this and not when, deep down, he also wanted it for his own selfish reasons that liked her intimate and innocent touch.

She took his hand from her hip and laid it on her face, his fingers on her jaw and neck, his thumb on her mouth. She conducted his small and soft caresses and then left him to lead. He did. He gently learned the feel and silkiness of her skin and hair, the warmth of her neck and mouth. She closed her eyes and gave in to his comforting traces, until she fell asleep.

In the morning, everything was as it had been before. Gohama had let her need for a gentle touch lead her and she didn't regret it. During the night, she had thought her pride would break in the morning and make her vulnerability heavy on her shoulders, but it didn't.

Kakashi's behaviour also helped, he had been there as he said he would, even with his own doubts, and now he wasn't awkward or pushy. He knew she had just needed his comforting tenderness and wasn't asking for anything more than that. It was a moment and it stayed only in the time it had happened.

What made Gohama uneasy was her trust in him. Those three little words had affected him. She had seen both the guilt and the care. But the strange guilt she always saw in him didn't affect her trust and it scared her. She couldn't tell when she had let herself trust. The mission was tearing at her but he kept himself there so she could lean on him. She had done it finally last night and it eased her. This only proved her trust wasn't misguided and that scared her more. Security was dangerous because nothing was ever secure. Even if uncle Tsukate trusted Kakashi, he was a liability. They worked and got along together well, he also exuded a sense of safety, but she barely knew him and he didn't show himself. Gohama didn't want to get hurt and her trust was dearest to her, if broken she would break with it.

During this mission, she would let herself trust because she needed it to push her forward. That was probably the reason why it had happened so quickly. Once in Konoha again, she wouldn't need him anymore and could shut him out. Yes, she wouldn't need him.

As they sat on the balcony, Kakashi reading and Gohama drinking, the phone rang. She was the one to pick it up.

"Dazai-sama wants to inform you that today is festival night at the casino and Kyura Gohama is to accompany him. A kimono will be brought for you to dress."

Gohama's gut crumbled inside her. It was one thing to lay down and let him fuck her, the fact that she no longer needed to fake any appreciation was somewhat relieving. Now, she had to pretend she wanted him during an entire night. He probably wanted to show her off and it all made everything impossibly disgusting. She was a toy, his toy.

Maybe, she would be able to kill him that night. Bring him alone to a dark corner and stab him while being stabbed herself and quickly let Kakashi know so he could run away and maybe live. The possibility was small, but it existed. She would endure a night of faking while gagging inside if it meant all could end.

"What was it?" Kakashi asked as she sat beside him.

"I have a date with Dazai. It's festival night."

"You're not going." he said matter-of-factly.

"The letter from Tsunade hasn't arrived, which means the mission is still my mission."

"I'm the team leader."

"I'm the one who's being fucked by the target so he is assassinated."

Kakashi looked down in defeat. "Well, I'm the Copy Ninja." He tried playfully.

Gohama followed his effort. "And I'm the last Kyura."

"I'm the great genius Kakashi of the Sharingan."

"I'm the great genius with every chakra nature affinity."

"I have a thousand jutsu."

"You copied a thousand jutsu."

She smirked at his wounded reaction.

"They are still mine."

"I have a kekkei genkai."

"I also have a kekkei genkai." he said as he lifted his headband to show the sharingan.

"But it's not yours. You know," she exaggerated her wondering look with a finger to her chin "now that I think about it, none of your great qualities are actually yours."

"My charm and great looks are." he corrected with all the feigned confidence of a person who spoke the truth.

Gohama laughed.

"I wouldn't know I never saw your face… nor your charm."

Kakashi didn't quip something back as she had expected. The tingling weight of his gaze made her look away from the city to him. He was staring at her with gentle eyes and what she could imagine was a gentle smile under the mask. It made her very uncomfortable.

"What?"

"You laughed."

Gohama averted her eyes back to the balcony's view. The heat forming on her cheeks warning her of an annoying blush. "It's a normal reaction of mine to ridiculous copy ninjas." she mumbled.

"Then I should try and be more ridiculous. Although it's rather impossible for me."

She rolled her eyes. "You keep telling yourself that."

A knock on the door came. Gohama was the one to answer it, expecting it to be the kimono. It was. She laid it on the bed and sadly scrutinised it. It was beautiful. Green, the same colour as her eyes, with grey and white small and thin curling flowers and twigs. The obi was a matching light shade of grey. It was simple and tasteful. It reminded her of something Mother would choose. But it was Dazai's and she would have to wear it for him. She must have stared for quite some time, because Kakashi approached her and put his warm and heavy hand on her shoulder.

"You don't have to go."

Couldn't he understand the temptation was too great? That he was only helping her yield to her weakness and fail? That in the end it would only make her miserable?

"And waste the opportunity to wear such a beautiful kimono? I'm going. Are you?"

"Of course."

"Then it should be fun. I'm actually curious to see how a mask would look on traditional clothes."

"Considering I'll be the one to wear it, rather handsome."

The casino was decorated with yellow, red and brown leaves, celebrating the end of summer and beginning of autumn. It reminded her of home. In the Land of Snow, celebrating the colouring of fields was one of their festivals. She used to make leaf decorations with her friends and offer them to their mothers and families. She would forever save the memory of her last autumn festival in the Arms with aching care. Because Kiku was on a cold weather zone the costumes were similar to her Village and her circumstances now made it all more gashing.

One of the staff showed them to the low table were Dazai sat drinking. He wasn't wearing traditional clothes. He viciously and hungrily smirked as he saw her coming. His vindictive lust mingled with even more violence. Kakashi seemed to notice this, as he lightly rubbed her back. It didn't comfort her though.

"Kyura," he had stopped calling her Gohama for some time "you look ravishing. I should have put you in a kimono a long time ago. Just so that I could rip it off your body."

She didn't think she could endure this humiliation all night.

"And ruin such beautiful clothes?"

"Like I would care. Here" he patted his lap "take a sit."

She sat next to him instead, sure that he would fuck her anyway that night, but he forcefully pushed her on top of him. Kakashi went to sit next to them.

"As you all noticed" Dazai was speaking to the others at the table "today we have great company. The last Kyura, always an honour" his tone was mocking "and the Copy Nin of Konoha."

He glanced towards Kakashi and some people gasped, while others greeted him.

"Yo." was all he said while opening his Icha Icha.

Dazai filled a glass for Gohama. "I'm sorry. But today we only have sake."

Gohama avidly drank what was given to her. They sat at the table drinking most of the night. Dazai's touches were more rough and daring. Gohama felt ashamed of being handled like that in public. She would manage to calm his ravenous hands went they passed the unbearable barrier. Once they began sliding up her inner thighs, she playfully threatened to castrate him. After a couple of hours, most of the table had gone away to the gambling area.

"Hey, Hatake" Dazai called "You must get lonely these nights. I can arrange some company for today."

"I'm good."

Danzai nodded towards a beautiful blond woman and she approached the table.

"Look up from your book." Kakashi indulged him "What man can say no to legs and tits like these?"

Kakashi turned back to his book. "I prefer brunettes.

Gohama was sure he had playfully looked at her when he said it.

"That can be arranged too."

"I'm still good."

"Or men."

"Not my type."

"Don't even try it, Dazai, I'm pretty sure Kakashi is celibate." A smirk towards her teammate accompanied her mocking.

Their hidden banter was obvious, because Dazai gripped her jaw and jerked it towards him, so she would look at him instead.

"You're fucking him." he growled.

Gohama knew she shouldn't say it, she knew it would make things worse. The words were spat from her mouth without a care. "It's none of your business who I fuck."

His grip was now on her neck, as he pushed her towards the table. She grunted in pain as her back and head bashed the table and then the floor when it broke. He hovered over her.

"It is because you're mine." another growl of ownership.

In her there was no fear, only murderous determination. That sadistic beast inside of her screaming for her to kill him. She would, as she saw him nearing her, Gohama was ready to slice his exposed throat. All the desire of past days, begging to be completed. Her resolve was cut by a slow impassive voice.

"Don't worry, Dazai. I would never fuck the Kyura after you touched her." there was an inch of aversion that stabbed into Gohama.

She looked at Kakashi, trying to read him, but his hair covered his face as he was hunched over his book. She should be grateful he had stopped her from her irrational impulsion and from Dazai's wrath, but she couldn't. His words, although meant only to save the situation, hurt her. She hated herself for that. She hated that they showed the weak feelings she had tried to suppress during this mission. The words reflected all the disgust and loathing she felt for herself. They hit the spot and it hurt her.

Dazai brought her back to his lap. He pressed his greedy tongue onto Gohama's neck and slid it up to her earlobe. She shivered and closed her eyes, trying to blank herself from the sensation. She had one of her hands on his shoulder for steadiness and used it to caress her way into his neck. It could be so simple and quick.

His words started rolling from his tongue, creeping into her ear, with his moist and alcohol filled breath. "You're mine, Kyura." he whispered.

Her being screamed and her hand was ready to receive the summoned kunai. This was the end of the mission. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Gohama."

He grounded her. Fuck. What was she doing? They would both die. She was risking his life too. She turned to him.

"We should go back to the room. We have a long day tomorrow."

He knew she couldn't bear it anymore, he knew she had almost fucked it up.

"No. You're staying with me tonight." Dazai spoke with authority.

He also knew that if she went with Dazai, he would finally break every little part of her.

"I think that's really up to her."

Before she could speak, Dazai signalled for his three bodyguards to surround Kakashi, who didn't waver. The threat was clear. Mission to complete or not, there was little option for her other than to go with Dazai.

"I want to stay." She said firmly

"That way you'll ruin my mission."

She would ruin it, he wouldn't be able to protect her. But she had her mission too and both their lives on the line.

"It'll be fine. Go to sleep and I'll meet you later."

Gohama offered him a small smile.

She rose with determination and held Dazai's hand. She led him away with a seductive glance over her shoulder, her green flirtatious stare focused only on him. "Let's go to your room."

In part II, Hansuke and Gohama had commented his genin team photograph where there was a purple haired girl, Uzuki Yugao. I chose to make Yugao Hansuke's other teammate along with Iruka. In the anime, she has the same age as Hansuke and was in Kakashi's ANBU squad.