Part IV | Chapter 6

There was the damn man, crouching in front a wooden fence, wiggling his butt in excitement, his white ponytail wiggling with it. One of the sannin. It shouldn't surprise her, one was a drunk, gambler Hokage, the other a creepy missing nin that changed skin whenever he wanted to. Being the pervert was the most banal feature out of the three.

Shinobi and their quirks, one always more insane than the other.

The Uzumaki kid had been right. She cursed her lack of insight and the loss of a bowl of ramen. Jiraiya was the author of Icha Icha after all. Keeping a well guarded mental note about not using the bathhouses while he was in the village, Gohama dropped from her branch behind him, her chakra perfectly masked.

Not one muscle in him twitched. "Your good, kid."

That he had sensed her didn't surprise her, but she wanted to figure out how. The only other ninja that she knew could was Hatake Kakashi due to his sensitive sense of smell, which meant all the Inuzuka clan could sense her too.

"So I've been told."

"What can my person do for a pretty thing like you?"

"Talk."

"Hmm." Jiraiya straightened himself and his spine snapped as he arched his back. He finally turned to her. "What do you want to know?"

"Akatsuki."

Amusement ran over his expression. "That's a dangerous name for such a pretty mouth."

"The prettiest mouths are the most dangerous ones."

Jiraiya quirked his eyebrow at her and erupted into a fit of laughter. His arms wrapped around his stomach as he bent down as his shoulders shook. Gohama waited for him to pull himself together. She couldn't understand what had been so amusing about her comment. It was lame, but Icha Icha probably had an entire dissertation about that.

"Oh, you are good. That line just summarised half of Violence." So that really was why he had been laughing. "Read some of my books, did you? I don't know if you noticed but one of the women was based on a Kyura." He turned a wistful gaze to the sky. "Sayu—"

"I don't need to know about your inspirations. I have more than enough traumas as it is. Akatsuki only."

"Hmm. Well, unfortunately I know little about that name."

"Bullshit." His expression shifted into amusement again. "I know you left with the Uzumaki kid because he's the Kyubi jinchuriki and Akatsuki is after him."

"Very dangerous mouth, indeed. But I know nothing, kid."

"Are you sure, Jiraiya-sama?" her voice dripped with intimidation, as she circled around him to lean against the woodened fence. "This is a nice little spot you have here." Gohama crouched down to look through the hole in the wall. "Very nice. It would be a shame if someone decided to repair this wall." He narrowed his eyes at her but didn't cave. "But even a bigger shame would be if a charitable nice citizen, worried about women's safety and comfort, payed for the repair and fortification of every single women's bath in all of Konoha and neighbouring towns."

A mix of dread and indignation rose to his face. "That would cost thousands of ryo…"

"Maybe said concerned citizen has an entire clan's inheritance to spend. So much money, so little to spend on."

"Why Akatsuki?"

"I ask the questions."

Another hearty laugh left his mouth. "You're too cheeky for your own good, kid. That can get you killed."

"Let me worry about my own methods. Now—"

"What about a nice cup of sake?"

The waiter cleared the empty plates of food and brought over another bottle of sake. Jiraiya had decided that she should pay for his dinner and they would exchange question for question. Gohama knew he was probably measuring her, considering the amount of questions about her missions, team, fighting style and other inappropriate ones Gohama didn't even honour with a quip. In her turn, she asked him about life outside of Konoha, the best places to lay low, the worst places to show up uninvited, which rogue groups ruled in which parts and, of course, Akatsuki.

Jiraiya had been open with her, and Gohama had been clever enough on threading her way through the answers with alcohol and other less relevant and delicate information. Akatsuki was, as she had already discovered, a missing nin association that was after the tailed beasts. Why? No one knew, but the reason was probably the banal, most uninteresting one. Power. What concerned Jiraiya and Tsunade was the need for power, why they needed it and what was the next step if they ever got all the beasts.

Jiraiya suspected that the Arms' massacre had been commanded by a proto-Akatsuki that had probably been devastated and, because of that, dormant for so many years.

He had thrown her a book with the stats of all the known members. A conclusion came to her, one she had been dreading ever since Dazai's mission, Gohama needed to start using Seiryu's chakra. She wasn't ready to give up what that training would take from her. She would have to go back to Snow then, ask Uncle for the Kyura Scrolls and his guidance in training again. Gohama knew she couldn't do it alone. She also knew that once the information that she was the jinchuriki spread through the shinobi world, she would have to leave Konoha. Akatsuki would come for her, she wouldn't even have to search them then.

Now that they were just drinking, Gohama wasn't thinking of leaving him yet. The old man could actually be good company. With a sense of humour, even if sometimes inappropriate, and knowledge of the world, she was now curious about what Icha Icha had hidden behind all the porn.

"How's your fuinjutsu going?"

It was slightly unnerving that he knew of her studies on sealing jutsu, but she didn't let it overtake her. Jiraiya clearly was a master on knowing things. "Pretty well. I came up with a way of sealing my chakra into a piece of paper and releasing it to form a protective dome. This way I don't have to focus on keeping it up while fighting."

"Show it."

She took a piece of paper, similar an exploding tag, from her pouch and laid it on the table. With a simple hand sign, the characters twirled and casted a clear blue light, with it rose a small chakra dome, with the height of a glass.

"This is just a prototype. It can last about fifteen minutes, I still can't better the chakra waste. But at least it's up independently from me. Now," she started and looked up at him. "try to put your finger through the barrier."

"Are you trying to burn me, kid?"

"It's thin. It won't burn bad, mostly sting."

Jiraiya with a hesitant hand, pressed a finger against the glowing chakra, but couldn't get it pass the barrier. Gohama dispelled it and took hold of his wrist, settling his hand on the paper seal. "Push a bit of your chakra." He did. And again Gohama pulled the dome up. "Now try that again."

He obeyed without hesitation and now the barrier let his finger enter it.

"How long did it take you to make this?"

"Six months. I mixed Kyura security seals with one of my one. This way it can recognise the chakra I assign to it and let that person in. It can be useful for medical stations inside a battlefield. No more risk for the medic, no more risk for the injured with delayed assistance. I still have long months to go. This one's stable, but the larger it gets the more unstable the chakra, more dispersed. The bigger stable one can fit only four people."

"I can help you prefect it. Make it last for hours."

Gohama watched Jiraiya's honest and eager expression. To have him, one of the sannin, acknowledge and support her work, which had taken months of investigation, trails and errors, frustrated midnight spars with kage bushin and almost quitting, made her ecstatic. Inside she was dancing, jumping and full of newfound resolve. With his input, she could create a defence that would help keep her team safe, and any other team in Konoha, maybe even an entire military force. It wouldn't take other several months, as she had predicted, maybe they could do it in one.

She leaned over the sealing tag, her finger following the part that was giving the most trouble. "Here." She started excitedly. "When I tried to combine the—"

"Not tonight, kid. Tonight we drink and talk." He said while leaning back again, his cup raised against his lips. Gohama took a long sip of her own, suddenly uncomfortable with his heavy stare. "Why Konoha?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, but soon her expression eased, she settled instead on indulging him. "My uncle wanted to. It was the least I could do for him."

"But you're thinking of travelling the world."

"I am and I will. When the time comes."

"And when will this time come, huh kid?"

"When I get stronger."

"Pfft, you're like what, eighteen, nineteen? There's only so much power a village life can give." Jiraiya leaned towards her again, an accusing finger, while the other still held his cup pointed on her. "It's not about that. It's about comfort. You've grown fond of your life here. Now you'd only leave if something ripped you out of here."

Gohama leaned too, her eyes harsh against his own. "What do you even know, porn writer."

"First, it's literary erotica. And secondly, I do know. People only reject comfort when it stops being comfortable. At least people that know what it's like to have it taken from them."

"Why are you so interested in whether I leave Konoha or not."

Jiraiya served his and her cup and drank. "Well, I've gotten used to having someone around. Naruto is staying and I'll be leaving again."

"Are you inviting me to join you, old man?" Gohama asked with an incredulous, dismissive tone. His response was to nod. "What would I win with that?"

"I'm the one that has been getting intel on Akatsuki. We wouldn't need to be together all the time, you'd do your thing and I'd do my thing. What do you say, kid?"

"Did Tsunade put you up to this?"

"Pfft, she needs you here. But if I personally asked for you to join me, she'd allow it more easily." His gravity eased and he gave her a warmer look. "I'm not telling you to give me answer now, just think about it."

Gohama didn't know what to think about his proposal. Now, she understood why he had probed her so intensely for the entirety of their dinner, Jiraiya wanted to know if she was up to his wanted level. And to him, to one of the fucking sannin, she was. The ecstatic swirl of her blood from his recognition didn't came this time. The proposal was too good to decline and yet…

"Why do you want me? Is it some perverted idea of yours?"

"No. I like traveling alone, but it's always safer to be accompanied. You seem the type to keep to yourself and you're powerful and tough, it's not usually the nicest thing to wander between countries. And you're pretty. So yes, maybe some part of it is perverted, but only to show you off." His eyebrows raised in a suggestive look. "Unless—"

"Not a chance, old man."

"I'm actually thinking of going right to the source. Amegakure."

"Rain… How did you get this information?"

He waved dismissively. "Not relevant."

"You'd take me with you…" It was a wary statement, the uncertainty at his sudden notice clear in her voice. It was Jiraiya after all and, under all her pretense, she was just… Gohama.

"If you'd risk your life by entering a highly secretive, highly hostile enemy territory just for information."

"Do you have to ask, old man?"

"We just met, I couldn't possibly know your level of suicidal tendencies." He leaned back against the booth and downed a cup of sake. "So, will you come?"

Gohama extended her hand across the table. "I'm in."

Jiraiya held onto it tight and shook it. "You can give me the answer about the travelling later."

"Gohama, come out here." Hansuke called from where he was sitting on his engawa. With a grunt, she showed him her displeasure at leaving the warm comfort of his bed. "Please, it will be worth it."

They had just come back from a month long mission and she was exhausted. "I'm sure there are a lot more worthy things we can do on the bed." They had forced and helped each other into taking a shower last night and dropped on the bed. Even the month long abstinence hadn't been enough to spur them away from a full day of sleep.

"Gohama."

Without forgetting to shove her displeasure at his face with a series of grunts, Gohama raised herself and slipped one of his jonin sweaters over her head.

She slid the door open while fixing her hair a little. "What is it?" Hansuke just smiled back at her. "I swear, Han—"

Then she saw it. Very few and far in between, white snowflakes swirled down from the sky. Her chest tightened so hard that she brought her hand to it. The familiar and so missed picture mellowed her eyes into two glazed over orbs of green. Lifting her hand, Gohama let one fall on her palm and watched it melt against her warm skin.

"It's snowing." She felt the need to let out the obvious.

Seeing the emotional mess she was becoming, Hansuke stood up and tenderly brushed her cheek with his knuckles. "Hey…" he said softly.

Gohama looked up at those beautiful hazel eyes and grinned. She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, settling her head on his chest to watch the snow and pressing herself close to him. "It's snowing."

He laid his cheek against her crown and also turned his eyes to the falling snowflakes. "It is." He swayed them softly from side to side, his movements matching the ones of the white dots as they covered the ground with a thin layer of white.

It was nice to be wrapped on his arms and watch the snow, and yet Gohama could already feel all those miserable inner movements rousing and spreading towards her skin. Her mind being dragged away towards the cold lands of Snow. Maybe she could keep them down this once.

What people had thought would be the sparse fall of a snowflake here and there had turned into one of the heaviest snowfalls Konoha had had in decades. Gohama had smelt it in the air that morning, had tasted it from the heavy clouds above them. In Bukigakure it would have been only a flurry, in Konoha people had called it a blizzard with excited and awed eyes.

Now, she was sitting at the edge of Yondaime's head watching as the pristine white of snow engulfed the multi-coloured roofs of Konoha. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend. The smell of fireplace smoke was the same and the vague feel of cold after hours sitting down was the same.

Konoha was white and cold. It didn't feel right, it only made the bitterness sting deeper. She had had a snowball fight with Kisamaru, Nikato and Hansuke. She had shoved snow down Nikato's shirt and she had flopped back on the softness of newly fallen snow. She had walked over it without the help of chakra, burring her ankle in frozen chill, just so she could hear the crunch and feel it against her sole. But the faces weren't the same, neither was the shape of the trees, or the colour of the village, especially not the snow. And yet she replaced them easily, indifferently, as someone does to a cracked shuriken. Only as she watched the plain rooftops, not built for snow, did she understand.

Her hands gripped the hitai-ate of Bukigakure and brought it against her forehead. A silent murmur dying behind her closed lips, a litany of a recurring "sorry's", until the words had lost meaning in her mind. Her traitorous heart never to shed away the guilt of replacing her Village.

Jiraiya's words echoed in her head, over and over, like an accusation, like the biting murmur of ill fame. Gohama didn't want to leave Konoha. She didn't want to leave her team. Her friends, even if they were mostly just her teammates, Genma and maybe Iruka and Gai, she still didn't know if they were friendly because it was a part of them or for her. Worst was her team. How could she leave them once again?

She would. The snow branded it into her marrow. She would because above all of them, she could never leave her Village. Once Jiraiya and she left on their mission to Rain, she wouldn't come back until her duty was done. That warranted the possibility of there never being an until. It didn't matter. Always her weapon above her snowdrop.

Tingles crept up her spine at the chakra signature, her stiff muscles unused to the cold, another betrayal to her own blood, couldn't even twitch at the sudden invasion. He would go away soon enough, he always did when he saw she was also up there. The signature stopped, but instead of turning away it continued, closer, and closer with each footfall crunching in the snow. Gohama couldn't even spur frustration, much less anger, at being interrupted in her lonely misery, as he stood a few steps behind her, that offending chakra stamping against her back.

"Aren't you cold?"

Only the lack of a funeral had made her sure he wasn't dead and Hatake Kakashi chose the most banal, most inept, of small talk lines. It was only made worse when she heard the sound of his bottom hitting the ground.

"Why did you come here for?"

"I just did." Wasn't he going to pretend she didn't exist? Wasn't her presence too offensive for the great Copy-nin? "Why don't you visit the Snow?"

"I left."

"Which means you can go back."

"There's nothing for me there."

"It's home. Isn't it enough?" But it wasn't enough anymore and she hated herself for it.

"Why do you care?"

"I just do."

Now that made her laugh. A grotesque gurgle that rose from deep in her lungs, up to her throat, maniac almost, desperate. "You certainly know how to make a joke, Copy-nin." Her legs hurt when she stood up after hours of sitting covered in snow. "Sensei is all yours." she made a wide gesture at the rock they were standing in. "Next time just tell me to fuck off. No need to be rude and mock me with silly jokes." Gohama soaked her tone in sweet and harsh condescending.

She moved pass him without sparing him a glance, her fingers already set in the jutsu that would take her away from him. In a series of shunshin no jutsu, she stood in front of Hansuke's sleeping form. His back was uncovered, the moonlight accentuated the dips and rises of his hard muscles, his scars shone against his dark skin, they shifted slowly with his breathing.

Gohama untied the sash that kept her haori from fluttering in the air. It fell with a wet and heavy thud on the floor. Then she took her pants and shirt, her bindings and underwear. She crawled on the bed, the mattress sinking with her weight. Her lips brushed the rugged skin of a scar, one he had told was from a stupid mistake when he was in ANBU. Her fingers traced the valley of his spine and he shuddered under her with a sleepy sigh. They moved to his arm, feeling the gap of a scar that cut his red tattoo in half, one he had made himself when he chose to leave ANBU. It always filled her with dread and curiosity for the despair that was marked there. She continued to trail deep, open-mouthed kisses to the expanse of his upper back, shoulders and neck, until he finally woke up and turned around.

"You're wet." He whispered groggily, while his grasp was strong on her hips.

"I am…" Gohama breathed against his ear.

"Literally wet." He explained with a chuckle. "Your hair's soaking and dripping on me."

"Does it bother you?" Her hand glided over the twitching muscles of his stomach until it disappeared under his pants.

"No…" he groaned. "W-what's going on…"

"Nothing." Gohama answered as she lowered herself onto him. "I just want you." The both of them gasped and she clutched onto the sensation of Hansuke under her, inside her, until there was nothing else but it, nothing else but them.

"Sarutobi Asuma is dead." Tsunade informed them, the gravity of being Hokage swam around in her golden eyes as they saw straight through them. "I am sorry."

Gohama swallowed, the clear words hazy against her ears. They chimed like a bell, resonating in her head, losing themselves before they reached her mind. It was the "dead" that echoed, trying to make itself heard, but she wouldn't take it.

"When?" Nikato was the first to catch them in his mind.

"Three days ago. His funeral was two days ago. I'm sorry you missed it."

The word "funeral" pierced her heart with the meaning of those first words. Only dead people had funerals. They had missed it. Hansuke had missed it. He was still beside her, his chakra as quiet as his body and muscles. Gohama's hand searched for his and she held it tight in her own, her fingers pressing against the back of his. It took him too long to press back. With that small movement, his chakra trembled and a small shaky breath left through his lips. The meaning had finally pierced through him. What could she do for him? His friend was dead. What could anyone do about it?

"How?" he asked in a small, unsure voice.

Tsunade laced her hands together and leaned her elbows against the desk. "When you were on your mission two missing nin attacked the Fire Temple. Asuma was one of the shinobi selected to kill them."

If they could kill Asuma… Could they be…? "Who are they?" Gohama asked.

Tsunade looked down onto the papers at her desk and fumbled through them. "Another team has been dispatched, it doesn't matt—"

"Tsunade-sama." Gohama whispered through her clenched teeth.

"Akatsuki." The Hokage leaned back on her chair after she hissed the name, her gaze was sharp on Gohama. "You will not interfere."

She was ready to fight back, but Hansuke bowed beside her and pulled her behind him as he left the Hokage's office. He continued to pull her through the corridor, never looking at her, his strides wide and fast, until he opened the door to a conference room and pushed her inside. He sat on a table and stared back at her, his hazel were an attempt at severity, but he couldn't hide the grief.

Gohama took small steps towards him, until she stood right before him. His eyes never faltered. His friend was dead and he was focussed only on her. She hated it, and she also hated that she couldn't give what he was silently begging for, demanding.

Her hand reached for his cheek and then the nape of his neck, as she leaned in to press her lips to his forehead. "I'm sorry you weren't here in time." She whispered. If she hadn't taken a day to hunt down and kill those missing nin after the mission, maybe they would have come back to Konoha in time for the funeral.

Hansuke wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead on her chest. His shoulders shook and his shaky breaths puffed against her shirt. All Gohama could do was brush his hair softly and let him hold on to her, there were no words that could sooth.

When he quieted down, his arms pulled her even closer to him. She knew what would come now. "Please, Gohama, don't go."

"Hansuke..." she leaned her head down to press her nose against his hair "Please. I don't want to fight over this."

"They killed Asuma. You're who they're looking for. I can't. It's too dangerous."

"I need this. They killed everyone because they were after me. I need this."

He took his forehead from her chest to look up at her eyes. His own were reddened from crying, he looked so lost, so miserable. She shifted to look at his hairline instead. It was too much. She could feel her resolve quivering, her weapon slipping through the slack hold she had on it.

"And I need you here, with me."

"You know who I'll chose." Her voice was steady but her throat tightened until she couldn't breathe. Gohama had never deceived him. They both knew that when the time of choosing came, she would follow her duty to Buki.

"Let me go with you."

She needed to pull herself together, for her Village, for her own sanity. "I don't want you there."

"Why..." His tone was enough to show her the hurt she couldn't face.

Gohama pressed her forehead to his own and breathed in. "Because you're my snowdrop and I can't have you near my weapon." His eyes flashed with surprised, their hazel colour still striking against the red. They mellowed into that burning affection that always made her chest ache. "You're my snowdrop, Hansuke." Her laid out confession ran freely from her heart into her mouth. "Stay here, so I can come back to you."

Hansuke nodded in a mix of resignation and helplessness as he tugged her by her waist to kiss her. She fell into him without holding back, but this was a goodbye kiss, it had the same desperation, the same abandonment. There was no reason to say goodbye, not now at least. She pulled back with a chuckle. "I'll be fine, Suke."

"Come back to me, Gohama."

"I promise."

So this was how he would go. Killed by a monster with five hearts and made out of threads. And with fire too. Being burnt to death was a painful way to go. The two kids beside him would die too. He tried to break the threads locking them, but it was insignificant. He would let Asuma's students die. Again, he would fail another dead friend. A fitting cruel end for him.

The two masks opened their mouths wide, he could see the red of fire and white of wind building up inside of them. And they grew and hissed, the wind feeding the fire into an impossibly bright flame. Even at a distance the heat was scorching. Maybe they wouldn't even feel their deaths. Then they blew their attack and the murdering glaze seemed to mock them with its slowness. In the last fleeting moments of his life, Kakashi could have wished for the seconds to stretch on. But he didn't. He just wanted the fire to swallow him and kill him quickly. He was already living on borrowed time. He had spent better part of his life trying to nurse relationships with the people he had lost through a stone. But now he would finally meet them again.

Father and Mother. Minato-sensei. Rin. Obito…

Kakashi called their names and the flames circled all around them, but never once did he feel their scorching pain. Maybe the death had been instant.

He dared open his eyes. Blue, all-consuming energy filled the space around him. He had never expected the after-life to feel like ominous, but at the same time with a warm touch of familiarity, chakra. The familiarity, Kakashi did know this chakra. He closed his own grey eye and tried to see pass the blinding blue glow with Obito's sharingan.

There she was, standing a few steps in front of him. Her dark hair glowing with purple tones under the light of her own chakra, her green long haori waving by her ankles, the white wolf crest shining away from it. What a sight not to die for. All power and majesty, he wasn't even sure if his goose bumps had sprout from the feel of her chakra, or the image of her figure cutting away from the bright blue background. Gohama.

Of course, she would come after Akatsuki. The irony that she had saved him, out of all shinobi in Konoha, him, stung. She couldn't know the murky blood she had stopped from being spilled. Sometimes, as now, as he watched the woman, the kunoichi, she was, he wished she did know, wished he could tell her. As during that failed night on the Hokage Mountain when the words had been ready to tumble away from his mouth. Everything he had said instead where stupid questions that he had no right asking her. Kakashi wondered, the bitterness of regret eating through his guts, if he had truly done the best for her. Or had it been just fear?

The raging fire roaring outside them vanished and with it the chakra dome surrounding them. Gohama didn't turn back to acknowledge them, all her being focussed on the shinobi in front of her. Her killing intent crashing from her, as waves on a stormy night, as it grew and encircled the clearing, washing away everything with it. Yet, her body wasn't tense, her hands were limp at her sides and with his sharingan he could see her heartbeat as steady as when she rested on a tree branch. Her body hadn't even felt that barrier justsu.

"What the fuck is up with the guy?" Her tone was almost playful, as her face turned until he could see her profile.

"Mid-range fighter. This guy has the power to split. Those two masks on the shoulders split from the torso. Each mask moves independently and has a separate heart. He originally had five hearts. He lost two and has only three now."

"Good." She answered with a flick of her hair, looking straight into Kakuzu "More hearts for me to crush."

"It's not so simple, Gohama. I've already killed him twice."

"Then it's a shame I didn't get here sooner."

Gohama extended her hand to her side and, with a cloud of smoke, appeared a summoned tachi. Her blue burning chakra spread through the long blade. Kakashi saw him then. With the same Kyura haori, the same dark hair, the same chakra swirling through the sword. The Yukikage, Kyura Inaku.

"The Kyura heiress." Kakuzu stated, his raspy voice seeping with disdain, he had seen him too.

"If death comes, may it be in honour of the Arms." Gohama whispered the ritualistic battle words to herself, the ones Kakashi had heard as an unbroken prayer during the Third Shinobi War. She pointed the tip of her sword towards Kakuzu. "And it will come for you."

She broke into a run. The enemy threw his threads in an attempt to lock her in place, but with her chakra-laden tachi, she could cut through them as if it were a kunai through wire. Gohama threw him in return her own chakra, which snaked through the air in pure energy arms, but Kakuzu evaded them.

As he was distracted with evading one, she flickered. Kakashi could see the blur of her movement with the sharingan. She landed right behind the enemy. This time she covered her hand with chakra and thrust it into the fire mask. Her eyes sharp, but most of all her face was blank. Despite the killing intent oozing off her, there was no hate, no repulsion in her expression, only lethal resolve. Kakuzu realised her attack before she could land the hit and spun away. His threads snaked around her arm and legs, he was smirking, thinking he had caught her then, until they melted down from her body and he jumped away from her.

When Kakashi thought Kakuzu couldn't change into a more monstrous form, the grey threads tore through his mouth, and expanded through his back to form several arms, chakra waving out of his body against Kakashi's front, even more powerful, more vigorous than before. Gohama's reaction was to smirk, a shrill twist of her lips, and wait until he charged her.

"You'll make my most perfect heart, Kyura."

He sped towards her and jumped high in the air. The entirety of his strings, creating an indistinct crushing grey matter, attacked her from a long-range distance now. Instead of evading, Gohama jumped towards them and Kakashi's heart halted inside his chest. Even with her tachi and chakra, it was too thick a barrier. Stubborn woman, she could have won this with more patience. His feet moved on his own, pushing against the soil in an attempt to reach her in time.

As always, Kakashi was too late. Her body disappeared inside the mass of threads as they engulfed her. Kakuzu let out a dark victorious chuckle, it vibrated through Kakashi's bones with a shudder. Lighting surrounded his hand as he ran towards them again. He would have to fish Gohama out of that mess, hoping her body wasn't already crushed to death.

He stopped when his sharingan caught her own chakra out of the chaos of Kakuzu's one. It grew and spread, the blue light breaking through the cracks between strings until it overwhelmed the enemy's chakra, destroying the grey mass. The both of them were falling, their bodies clutched together. They hit the ground with a loud thud and dust rose around them. The sharingan could see that Gohama's chakra was strong, but she wasn't getting up. Dread took over him again, as he remembered that last resort attack where her chakra exploded out of her body and it shattered her with it.

Again he was running and again he stopped as the dust cleared. He could see Gohama's tachi buried to the hilt through the wind heart and her fist in the fire one. She rose away from Kakuzu's trembling body. Her hand grasped his hair and pulled his torso up with her. She neared her mouth to his ear and whispered words Kakashi couldn't hear. They made the Akatsuki member's eyes widen and now Kakashi was truly curious about what could make Kakuzu, the man that had lived for ninety years, so shocked.

"Your heart for slaughtering my Village." Kakashi heard her say and a shiver ran up his spine.

Her chakra-covered hand tore through Kakuzu's chest, the strings around her arm melting into a thick grey liquid, the sound of crushed muscle making Kakashi wince. Gohama let the limp body fall to the ground.

As she unburied the tachi from deep inside the sand, Kakashi neared her, he could sense the other two approaching them too. "Thank you for saving me, Gohama."

"No need, I didn't do it for you." She answered lightly, as she pulled her blade from the soil. She turned around, her eyes moving up and down over his body. "You look like shit." Her condescending tone hurt a little, but before he could offer a quip that would sooth his pride, she continued "Where's the other?"

"Shikamaru has him."

"I don't care." The loathing he had expected from her during the battle was finally breaking free. "Where is the other one?"

When he didn't answer, Gohama yanked his ankle with her foot, too fast for his exhausted mind and body. He fell down and she shoved it against his collarbone. All ruthless resolve.

"Shikamaru just left. We don't know where they went." The Yamanaka girl answered, the urgency clear in her voice.

Gohama's stark, sneering eyes never strayed away from his own. "Summon one of your dogs."

When Kakashi still didn't move, she pushed harsher against his chest, the sole of her sandal scraping as it nearing his neck. It was reckless of him to test her, but he really didn't want her to crush the other's heart out of revenge. Even if that made him a hypocrite. There had been something dark in her voice as she had said those words before killing Kakuzu.

"Are you really going to play the self-righteous bastard, Hatake? Tell me the fucking difference between what I did and what you did now." And she knew that too. She pushed the rough sole of her sandal deeper against his throat. It was now very hard to breathe. "Summon one of your dogs. I think you owe me at least that." If she only knew how much he owed her. "I swear I'll rip that fucking mask off your face"

With a graceful twist of her wrist, she slashed the palm of his hand with her blade. "A little incentive." The loathing in her eyes spreading into a sardonic smile.

He turned his palm down on the ground and pushed a little chakra. A puff and Pakkun appeared. Right away he sniffed the air and, after surprise, probably for smelling Gohama's scent, his expression turned into disapproval as he saw what their circumstances were.

"Pakkun, right?" Gohama asked with a too sweet tone "Long time no see."

"Kakashi, what the he—"

"Follow Shikamaru's scent." His voice sounding coarse from the choking hold on his neck. The pug hesitated and Kakashi had to send him a glare. With a displeased frown made clear, he sniffed again and jumped fast, away from them. Gohama followed with no interval and he breathed in a long, much desired breath.

"You should have given her Pakkun right away, Kakashi-sensei." The Yamanaka admonished, as he massaged his tender throat "She could have killed you."

"She wouldn't kill me." Kakashi explained as he sat up. "How ever surprising it might be, Gohama has a soft spot for Gai."

Both Asuma's students just stared at him in confusion. Gohama had been honest when she had said she hadn't saved him for him. After losing Asuma, she wouldn't want Gai, Iruka, Genma or Hansuke to suffer another loss.

A puff and a cloud of smoke signalled for Pakkun's departure. Gohama leaned against a tree, forcing her aching lungs to take long breaths. She should have been patient on that last part, it had taken her too much chakra to tear through those chakra enhanced strings. Now her pathways were burning as the hot energy flowed through them.

Her forehead pressed against the rough bark as whom she had just killed settled into her. A chuckled grumbled in her chest and she let it free. So she chuckled, a mixture of relief, tiredness and accomplishment. One Akatsuki dead. Twenty-three of the missing nin had had their hearts crushed by her hand. For the past two years, she had used the bits of free time on their team missions away from Konoha as a way of hunting and killing them.

The path still stretched in front of her, tortuous and endless, and, right now, she had to step ahead, across the treeline into the clearing, as another one waited for the end of Bukigakure's fist. Taking a few and last resting breaths she pulled away from the tree, a cedar, in Konoha, she was leaning against a cedar, Snow's prime tree.

When she reached the place where a battle had certainly taken place, there was only Shikamaru standing in front of a pit. She could feel a chakra signature at the bottom of it. He had won. If the Akatsuki bastard had had to die at the hands of another, she was glad it had been him. Gohama held the utmost respect for that genius of his, after it had saved their team on a mission. As she, he was there to avenged his precious people.

She approached him slowly, as he stood silently in front of the covered hole.

"It's done." He whispered, she didn't know if to her or the quiet forest. But Gohama frowned, the chakra still hadn't faded away. "He doesn't die."

What a terrible fate, to live for eternity buried as if he were a dead man. Immortality was as cruel as death, as lonely. It made her almost giddy. He deserved every single unbearable, tedious second of his endless existence.

"Thank you." She whispered as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

Two plus twenty-three dead. Whatever number of enemies were to follow, she would kill them all.

Gohama pressed her cheek to Hansuke's back, as her arms wrapped around him. "You came back." He breathed in relief.

"I promised." He turned around to kiss her. When they pulled away, she leaned her forehead against his. "I'm here now, for whatever you need, Hansuke."

"I want to visit Asuma's grave."

She brought his hand to her lips and pressed them against his knuckles. "Okay… let's go together."

A forceful hand on the small of her back pushed her over the threshold. Gohama hopped inside, her two hands secure around the bottle of sake. She took off her shoes and waited for Hansuke, demanding him to walk in front of her with a glare. It only took them a couple of steps inside the house for Nikato to run and throw himself at her for a hug.

"Happy birthday, Kato-chan." When he broke away, she pinched his cheek and shook it. "Twenty, hmm? You're so grown up now."

"Thank you!" he grasped her arm and pulled her towards the living room. "Let me introduce you to my siblings. Hey, Akio, Mime-chan! Gohama and Hansuke-sensei are here!" he shouted towards the stairs. Then he turned to the man with brown hair sitting on an armchair while he read. "Dad." Nikato's father looked up, surprised to see them there. "This is Gohama."

She bowed. "Nice to meet you, Hayashi-san."

"Me too." He nodded and went back to his book.

The thuds of feet sounded from the ceiling and soon there were two kids walking down the stairs. Mime-chan she had already met. But not the teen, about fourteen, with a brooding, annoyed frown stuck to his face, Akio.

"Mime-chan, you already know Gohama. Akio, stop looking like you're going to throw up and be polite. Well, Gohama the annoying idiot is my brother, Akio."

The boy was ready to charge against his brother, not that a civilian could ever beat a ninja, when a commanding female voice called from the kitchen. "Akio, Nikato, no fighting today. Be polite." The authority of their mother was enough to make the teen halt.

"Nice to meet you, Akio."

He looked at her for the first time, his eyes went a little wide and he blushed. "N-nice to meet you, Gohama-san." He stumbled through his words and offered a quick, stiff bow.

"Just Gohama is fine." She answered with a smile and the boy turned a deeper shade of red. Was she that intimidating? She was trying to be nice, but clearly failing.

Before she could say anything else, Nikato pulled on her arm and dragged her towards the kitchen. A redhead woman, armed with a knife, was cutting vegetables with precise, fast movements. Gohama gulped, her hold tighter on the sake bottle.

"Mum, this is Gohama."

Her gaze, focussed on shredding the vegetables, rose to meet hers. She had the same dark and sweet eyes as Nikato and an even more welcoming expression, but the movement of her hand was enough to make Gohama overlook that.

She bowed stiffly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hayashi-san."

"Call me, Chizue." She said while dropping the knife on the board, making Gohama's spine ease a little, and smile. "And it's pleasure to meet you too, dear."

"I brought sake." Gohama offered her the bottle and Nikato's mother took it.

"Thank you very much, what a nice sake." Her kind eyes looked over Gohama's shoulder. "And you, come here, Hansuke-sensei." She ordered with a wave of her hand. Hansuke didn't falter as Nikato's mother hugged the life out of him. Now she knew where that habit of their teammate had come from. "I haven't seen you in some time. Don't tell me you finally found a woman to keep you busy."

Gohama choked on air, as her cheeks turned into a deep shade of red. Hansuke was much smoother. He gave Gohama a glance and then one of his charming smiles to Chizue-san. "Maybe I have, Chizue-san."

"Oh, that's great news. Who is she?"

His eyes flickered to Gohama with an impish glint. Her mind raced, trying to find any way of interrupting the words Hansuke was ready to spill. They had agreed they wouldn't tell anyone and anyone included Nikato's mother, even if a civilian, she was Nikato's mother. Making it public would force her to leave their team. Would he actually do that to her? To their team?

"Senju Tsunade. That woman loves keeping us busy."

Chizue-san laughed, the pleasing happy sound making it easy for Gohama's heart to relax back to a normal beat. She sagged against the kitchen counter, her only energy being spent on glaring at Hansuke as he smirked. "Not funny." She exaggerated the movements of her lips, her face twisted into a growl.

Gohama had to endure a little more of awkward socialisation while Chizue-san finished preparing dinner with her and Hansuke's help. At least, he had been kind enough not to leave her alone.

The dinner went easier on her nerves. Nikato's father was quiet most of the time, only entering conversation with a dry comment for time to time that never failed to make Gohama chuckle. Chizue-san had the same gift as her son of keeping an endless thread of conversation, forcing Gohama and Kisamaru to enter it from time to time. Akio was also quiet, but not so brooding anymore. He seemed shy, but his eyes kept fixing on Gohama and she would lift her own from her plate and smile at him, only to have him snap down with a fierce blush. Hansuke had neared her ear one time and with an amused tone whispered, "Someone has a crush on you."

When the candles had been blown, cake eaten, and gifts opened, Nikato's siblings left and Chizue-san started clearing the table. "Let me help you in the kitchen, Chizue-san." Gohama offered, as she stood up from the table with carefully balanced plates in her hands. Being a ninja brought the advantage of carrying most of the tableware in one graceful turn.

Chizue-san had already settled by the sink, her hands covered in think rubber gloves. As a kunoichi, Gohama related to the need for hand care. But mostly as heiress of a noble clan, it was essential to have delicate and soft hands. Decorum could never be lost to the ninja ways. Mother and her governess had thought her early how to avoid callouses and scars. Even after leaving the Arms, she had never lost the habit of exfoliating, moisturizing, in extreme cases even resorting to medical jutsu, every night before going to bed.

She could still remember the stern voice of the tall and svelte old woman, with long dark hair always drawn back in a tight bun, exasperating over her childish sloppiness. As a child, Gohama believed Keiko-san existed only to give her orders, teach her useless, boring things and hinder her life. Kyura children from the main families, both boys and girls, had a governess or mentor that would train them in decorum and noble tradition. One of the many obligations Gohama had thought were a superfluous bore and now remembered with wistful care.

Gohama laid the plates by the sink.

"Thank you, Gohama-san."

"Just Gohama, please." she corrected, eagerly.

Nikato's mother chuckled softly. "I am sorry, Gohama."

Gohama cringed from embarrassment and felt her cheeks warming. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, Chizue-san." she apologized sheepishly "It's just that I spent half my life with my own cousins calling me sama. I was never a fan of it. Now I can be just Gohama."

"I don't see the inconvenience of being treated by sama."

Her hands fidgeted nervously with the hem of her shirt and her stance was stiff. She tried appearing her normal casual self by leaning against the counter. Why couldn't she act normal? Why did she care so much about Chizue-san's opinion? Why was she failing completely?

"As a child, I just wanted to play and run freely with other children." she explained while focusing on the seam of her shirt "It makes sense for a kage or Daimyo to be called such, but I never really did anything to deserve the honorific."

The woman started laughing and examined Gohama. The rose of her cheeks had spread to a crimson blotch all over her face. What had she said wrong?

"I was just messing with you, dear." Now Gohama felt stupid for being dense. She usual was meticulously perceptive. Chizue gave her a kind smile "I do understand what you mean." her scrutinizing stare was making the heat from embarrassment more suffocating. "You know, Gohama, Nikato always boasts how confident you are in any situation, how you don't care about what anyone thinks… I'm surprised a harmless housewife is the one to make you uncomfortable."

The tone of Chizue-san's voice was so tender and playful that Gohama could never take it as an offense. It somehow lightened her awkwardness to know it was recognized, but not scorned. The woman was too jovial, too kind and simple to ever be able to upset anyone. She felt more at ease.

"You underestimate your intimidation tactics. Watching you work a knife while cutting vegetables could make any S-rank nin tremble."

"Ah, a joke! I was starting to think there was another deadpan shinobi in my son's team. But seriously, Gohama, you don't have to be nervous around us, especially me. You're one of Nikato's teammates and friend. Besides, from what he tells me of you, I don't think I could not like you. From what I've learned tonight, you are one of the politest people I've ever met."

"Thank you, Chizue-san. You've welcomed me kindly in your home, it's just… I'm not sure what to say or how to behave. And you're Nikato's mother, I know you're very important to him, and I wanted to make a good first impression… I'm also surprised… I didn't think I would care so much… but I do. Much less be so nervous…"

"Oh, Gohama… You sound like a girlfriend meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time. You don't have to worry so much. If you take care of him on your missions, which I know you do, it's enough for any mother. Also, it's good for him to have a girl in his team, helps him learn how to deal with women."

"I'm not really the best option then. But don't worry, Chizue-san, he has other girl friends and always treats them right."

"Good. If he doesn't, feel free to smack his head for me."

"I can wash the rest of the dishes, Chizue-san, in fact, I should have offered sooner."

"Oh, don't be silly, your company is more than enough. Besides, I enjoy this, it helps clear the mind."

"I can understand. Sharpening my tools does that for me too."

They spent the rest of the time in silence. Only the sound of splashing, scrubbing and rubbing water accompanying them. It made her more comfortable not having to think about appropriate answers. Most people filled the awkwardness of silence with small talk, which was exhausting. Luckily, Chizue-san was comfortable humming little tunes while working. Because she didn't push a conversation, Gohama didn't feel the obligation of keeping it flowing. Then, Gohama helped dry the tableware and store them back. When both women were ready to join the others, Chizue-san finally spoke again.

"Gohama." the Kyura turned towards the red-head "I can only imagine how difficult things have been for you…" Gohama stiffened at the comment "I remember the chatter around Konoha, it must have been hard to come to a new Village and try to fit in with gossip and comments following you around. My point is" she glanced through the window to her son "Nikato may have been mean to you in the beginning. I apologize for that. But you have to understand how much he suffered when Ayame-chan died. It was hard for him to move on and you being a part of the team meant moving on. But now he finally has. Hansuke-sensei helped the most, but I know you did too. I'd like to thank you—"

Gohama turned her eyes towards the ground. Chizue-san was too good, she thought too well of Gohama. She wasn't even remotely responsible for helping Nikato with his grief. She knew grief as a twin, it had been her company for so long, but because of that she didn't know how to deal with it. She had done nothing for her team outside the duties of a teammate. Chizue-san's words made her feel unworthy, ashamed.

"I didn't help. Hansuke and Kisamaru did."

"He cares about you. All of them do. You should have seen how excited he was when you accepted coming for dinner. He really wanted to show you off to us. He admires you." her eyes kept frozen on the floor, too many minutes had passed before she spoke again "Why doesn't this cheer you up?"

Gohama raised her gaze and gave Nikato's mother a small smile. "It's much easier when no one expects anything from you, don't you think, Chizue-san…?" It was sad, but one was free.

Chizue-san stepped towards her. She calmly laid her arms around Gohama's back, her own arms kept firmly by her sides, and gave a tender squeeze. "Our home is always open for you, Gohama. Now let's have a glass of sake with the boys." she gleefully added.

Sitting on the backyard table, Hansuke gave her a greeting smile. He served her sake and raised his own glass, forcing her to copy him. He nodded and she nodded back, taking a small sip from the rice wine. It settled on her stomach, heavy and bitter.

She could see it now, as they settled on that table with Nikato's amazing parents. Hansuke, Kisamaru and Nikato weren't her snowdrop alone. It was also the little things, as when the corner table met in Ippon for drinks; when she caught up with Iruka, his kindness always lifting her mood, as she delivered her mission reports; when she soaked in the warm sun of Konoha on that abandoned training ground that had become her own; when she sat at the Hokage Mountain and for a moment forgot about everything, and there was only street lights, rooftops and the distant horizon against a sky painted in starlight. All of that was her snowdrop and it made her heart sink.

Gohama had left Uncle, she could leave them too. And if she couldn't, she would anyway.

They didn't know her. Gohama had fooled them. She had almost succeeded in fooling herself. One day she would fail them all.

I diverted from canon with Kakuzu and Gohama's fight, but it wouldn't make sense for her to stay idle when Akatsuki was at her reach. So, in this fic's universe Naruto debuted his amazing jutsu on another target. On the other hand, Shikamaru had to kill Hidan, I wouldn't take that away from him. He was so badass on that fight. Kakashi, also a badass against Kakuzu, and he should have worked together more often in the Manga/Anime.

Anyway, thank you readers that have taken the time to review. I truly love reading them.

As always, stay safe and thanks for reading!