Alone
Who is that girl?
A young woman, her face covered by a black veil, with only a few golden locks peeping out of the corner of her hat.
Why's she crying?
The girl leans over and leaves a bunch of pretty flowers on a grave.
Why am I crying?
The girl turns around and joins a group of other mourners; but slowly, one by one the fade away and only the girl is left behind, staring at the grave.
What's going on?
A beautiful, big, golden lion appears besides her. The girl keeps staring at the grave but unconsciously puts a hand out to stroke the lion.
Why am I not scared?
The lion's eyes pierce into mine, "My child, you haven't been forgotten…"
You're lying, everybody's forgotten me… wait a minute? Who are we talking about in the first place?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Golden rays shone out from little cracks in the curtain. Susan's eye's fluttered and as the door opened she snuggled deeper into her blanket.
"Rise and shine Mistress Susan, the doctor is here to see you!" said the maid as she opened the curtains letting sunlight stream into the room. As she left the doctor, followed by her fiancé Milton Roth, entered the room.
"Susan honey, it's been four months… I'm sure your parents and siblings wouldn't have wanted you to morn that long." He said taking her hand and giving her one of those 'charmingly dashing' smiles that had won her heart 8 months ago. Now it made her feel sick.
"No." she squealed drawing her hand away from his and turning away just to face the doctor.
"He's right you know Susan, I think you should go and get up." He said comfortingly.
"Come Susan, you should go out… I'm really beginning to worry about you. You don't eat, sleep or talk to us. The maid says you're always muttering about the silliest words… Aslan, Narnia… things your mad brothers were always talking about." Said Milton.
"They weren't mad!!!" she screamed at him. "Get out! All of you!" she sobbed as she grabbed her pillow and put it over her ears sobbing. The maid ushered the men out of the room…
"Please gentlemen, you know better than to disturb Mistress Susan at a time like this!" she whispered and closed the door. Turning to Susan she said:
"Mistress Susan, please… it's a beautiful morning, why don't I fix you a bath and get you dressed up in your finest outfit and fix up your hair in a beautiful bun and send you out to Marian Luther's place for tea… you did promise to go to her house long, long ago." Susan opened an eye and stared for some time at the maid. For a long time there was silence then Susan threw the pillow at her dressing table and fell back onto her bed.
"Okay, it seems as if I have very little choice." She said after a pause. The maid smiled, victorious.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Lucy," said Susan in a very small voice.
"Yes?" said Lucy.
"I see him now. I'm sorry."
"That's all right."
"But I've been far worse than you know. I really believed it was him – he, I mean – yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and – and – oh, I don't know. And what ever am I to say to him?"
"Perhaps you won't need to say much," suggested Lucy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ouch… leave it open Felicity. I like it open," said Susan as the maid reopened her bun and brushed all her tangles out. The black rings under her eyes weren't there anymore; one of the maids had toned them out using some expensive powder from Paris. The paleness of her cheeks wasn't showing anymore, the blush she had used had given it a slight glow again. Her face was beautiful, as was her dress… yet the emptiness of her eyes was unbearable.
"Jane, will you prepare the carriage for me?" she asked. The maid who was changing her bed sheets looked up at her then nodded and disappeared. Felicity finished up her hair and Susan got up from her chair. As she opened her bedroom door she was almost run over by Jane.
"I beg your pardon mistress Susan but Sir Roth has just brought along his new automobile. I told him about you going out and he would like to escort you the Luther residence." She said. Susan nodded and replied.
"Tell him I'll go with him." Jane nodded and rushed down while Susan followed down the steps slowly. The house was the same as it had been four months ago; dull, lifeless, typically out of the finest houses of society. She had made it that way… because it was all she felt. Dull and Lifeless, the result of society's influence on her; the reason she lost touch with her family, with Narnia.
Susan stepped out into the dazzling sunlight and squinted. Once her eyes got used to all that light she began to walk towards Milton's new automobile.
"Susan…" he whispered staring at her as he opened the door for her. She smiled took his hand and let him help her into the car. Milton smiled at her then slid in from the next seat.
Milton Roth was a landlord's oldest son and the inheritor of over 60 acres of land. Susan had met him at a party at one of her friend's cousin's house and after three months of courting they were engaged.
"You look beautiful." He said as they drove down through the streets.
"As beautiful as when you first met me?" she asked giggling slightly.
"Even more."
The drove in pleasant silence till they reached Marian Luther's place. To Susan's surprise she found Marian waiting at the front gate.
"Su! You look fabulous… come in come in, we've been expecting you." She said as she ushered her in. Susan could have kicked herself for her stupidity at not realizing what was going on. Of course, everyone had planned this. The maid forcing her to go to Marian's, Milton ready for her with his automobile… it all made sense.
Not that she minded at all. Suddenly it felt as if she was getting her life back again. The one she took a long time creating for herself.
**********
Blood… it was everywhere… there had been a screech of the railway track… then it was all over… no more screaming, no more screeching, no more blood. It was all silent, pin-drop silence with only a single sobbing noise from inside the wreckage. People all around had come back to their senses and the sobbing and crying continued. Yet Susan saw nothing… only the golden mane of the lion, wretched in blood staring at her from on top of the pile.
"Oh my god… Aslan." She whispered. Aslan's eyes bore through hers and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up on an end. He rose to his two hind legs and roared making the earth shake, Susan screamed and fell into darkness.
**********
Memories, that's what's coming back… I held everything back in my mind and now it's come out with full force… this scares me… I'm scared, but there's something else. Aslan wants something… and it's something that's got to do with me; but what is it?
**********
To Be Continued….
AN: Spent ages writing and re-writing it. I started writing it when there were only 4 stories in the CS Lewis section and halfway through I stopped cause I was bored with it. However, after the fanfics started piling in, into this section I somehow got inspired and started writing again. Hope you liked it.
Disclaimer: Narnia, Susan and everything else belongs to C.S.Lewis. The conversation between Lucy and Susan is an extract I've taken from the 4th book, Prince Caspian. The plot though is mine and so are the character who aren't mention in The Chronicles of Narnia.
Preview of Next chapter:
Susan's heart thumped, as she stood be-witched by the lion. The only thing that separated them was the cage.
"That's no ordinary circus lion… that's Aslan." She thought as she put her hand nearer to it. The lion in response opened it's mouth and breathed onto her. "What is it Aslan? What do you want from me?" she whispered, her fear vanishing into thin air.
"I want you to remember… I want you to believe… I want you to believe in me again."
"Believe in you…"