Austin Powers: Insanity's the Limit





Chapter Four

The Holocaid...

Oedipus slumped against a far wall, in the shadows, watching his new employers interact with the kids and serious gamers as he rested his sore right leg--the club was just a costume prop, but after having it on for days on end, he had blisters. Number Two was trying in vain to beat the kid in the hoverchair. Frau was trading boxing tips with a tall black kid. Scott Evil was in the control room having some kind of argument with himself--and losing from the looks of it.

With a shake of his head, Oedipus turned towards the door, the better to see who entered. It wouldn't do for anyone to recognise him now. Especially since his sister had seen him leaving with Number Two. He hoped he had done a convincing job of pretending to have been kidnapped, otherwise his whole operation was blown.

He shifted again as his position had the rubber pressed into the blisters causing a very painful sensation. He wished his current employers would either let him go--not very likely--or get on with whatever plan they had. He hated standing around and waiting like this. Too many chances of being seen...or of someone finding out the scheme and putting a stop to it.

Evil chose that moment to walk out of the control room. He looked around once, frowned and then walked back inside. The intercom came on right after that.

Attention all senior staff of Evil Corp. Oedipus winced as several people looked up in surprise. Jeez was this guy an idiot or what? Please come into the control room for a meeting. There was a pause and then, Evil Corp. is called Evil Corp, because my last name is Evil. So don't make anything of that. Okay?

Oedipus rolled his eyes, and keeping to the shadows made his way to the control room. Frau and Number Two were already there and seated around a long conference table. Oedipus looked at it oddly, wondering where it had come from and how it had been fit into the rather small space.

"Sit down Eddie," Scott said, "I'm sure your...leg must be hurting you." The kid gave a slight snicker.

Oedipus jerked and looked at him. "W...what did you just call me?"

"Eddie, you know, short for 'Oedipus'? Now sit down!"

Feeling relieved, Oedipus sat in a chair as far from the others as he could, still shaken. That was way too close. He didn't want anyone to know his real name. Really, if he hadn't needed the money, he never would have accepted the job. Well actually, he didn't need the money, but the concept of time travel intrigued him. Oh well, it was too late for regrets now.

"Now that everybody's settled...I am going to reveal my greatest plan. We are going to take over Galileo City and..."

"But that's already been done," Oedipus quickly inserted, "Moriar...."

"Shut up! Thank you. I know. Okay?" Evil frowned around the table, but no one else seemed inclined to disagree with him. "Now, as I was saying. We are going to take over Galileo City and from there the world. At least, that's what Global Intelligence is going to think. While they're concentrating all their forces on trying to stop us, we will in actuallity be kidnapping the Prime Minister."

"Zaht is a gut plan, Scottie," Frau said approvingly, "Your father vould be so proud."

"Yeah? You think so? Well, unfortunately I have no idea how to go about kidnapping the P. M. okay, so how proud of me would he be huh? Huh?"

Oedipus squirmed slightly in his chair, wondering if he should tell them or not. After all, to keep his operation going, he had to have contacts. "Uh sir...I..workintheprimeministersofficeimhisassistant."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Speak slower please?"

Oedipus sighed. "I work in the Prime Minister's office. I'm his assistant."

"Really?" Frau asked.

"Really. My real name is...well you don't need to know that. But, I can get into the office and kidnap him."

"Great!" Scott said.

"Yeah, but first I gotta convince my sister that my kidnappers released me. She saw me going with Number Two and..."

"Okay, okay sure fine. Do whatever it takes. Ladies and Gentlemen we are about to take over the world."

Inside Eva Norton's apartment...

Eva watched Holmes from the kitchen as he spoke with the odd gentleman on her vidphone. She could see that he was tense, and that whatever was being said did not agree with the detective. He was wearing some clothes she had found that her brother had left last time he visited. She let loose a long sigh. Poor Eddie, what must he be going through, if that is, he were still alive.

She turned her attention back to Holmes so that she didn't have to think about that. He had finished speaking and was walking towards the kitchen. She quickly busied herself with washing a few dishes, hoping he hadn't noticed her appraisal. She was in luck.

"Well this is an interesting turn of events," he murmered as he sat down at the table.

"Care to talk about it?" She asked, the same way she would her brother. Realizing that it could be considered rude, she hastened to add, "I mean, you know...if you don't talk about things, they wind up festering inside until they eat you from the inside out. Rather like gangrene..."

To her suprise, he chuckled. "You are quite right Miss Norton." He paused and stared intently at her. "I called into the Yard to see if anyone knew anything about your brother's work. Of course no one did. However, I did find out that Lestrade had the bullet from our new friend sent in for analysis. It was actually a cartridge containing a modified form of Saxitoxin--a neurotoxin produced by a certain type of algae. Once released into the blood-stream it would cause paralysis and then death."

"Oh!"

"Yes. Fortunately for Mister Powers, the cartridge did not explode as it was supposed to have. Lestrade told the techs that some of the liquid inside was leaking out, but not until after she had removed it."

"Well, that's good then..."

"Yes. However, the toxin and the means of injecting it are the modis operandi of the assasin who has killed those world leaders. Oedipus."

Somewhere as of yet unknown...

Dougie shook his head as he tried to see in the pitch black of wherever it was that he was. He didn't know where Mini-me was, or his father, or Basil. This was not good, not good at all.

"I tried to warn them, but would they listen to me? No. Now they're probably stuck inside a wall somewhere. Or an oil tanker. Or a spaceship...oh, now that's not so bad. I mean...ow!"

He rubbed his head where something hard had just hit it. Then a light shone on him from somewhere. "What the?" He blinked rapidly a moment before they focused enough to see a teenaged girl with a cool futuristic flash light. "Did you just throw something at me?" At her nod, he shook his fist at her. "Well that hurt you a-hole!"

"Sheese! You don't 'ave to get all uppity about it. Can't be too careful down 'ere you know," the girl returned, her voice laced with attitude.

"Right, yes. Of course. Tell me little girl, where's your mommy?"

"My mommy? I'm..."

"Run along home little girl. You don't want to get hurt now."

"Look zed head..."

"All right zip it."

"But I..."

"Shh!"

"You are one..."

"The snake says shh shh shh shh shh!"

The girl folded her arms across her chest and glared. "Oh well, guess you don't need a guide then." She actually said it more like ohwellguessyoudontneedaguidethen, but Dougie got the general idea.

"Wait! Don't go! Hey! I'm looking for..." it was too late though, the teenager had disappeared with her light, leaving him in the dark again.

"Well shit."


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