Random Madness
By The Ripperette
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Well, during the next night's house show, the Canadian Contingent (And Raven and Jeff) had a night thet weren't going to forget soon. On account of yet another few shots to the head, there was an interesting Paddle on a Pole Bra and Panties triple threat match earlier in the night between Jeff (Trish), Christian (Stacy), and, interestingly enough, Test (Hardcore Holly).
And now, the rest of the night continued...
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At the curtain...
Test: (Getting dragged behind the curtain by Jericho and Lance, while attempting to pose seductively) HOW DO YOU LIKE MY PANTIES NOW?!
Jericho: (Whaps Test in the head)
Lance: (Quickly sprays Test with the detangler)
Test: (Stares blankly)
Jericho: ...is he okay?
Lance: Umm..right now, I'm just hoping he hasn't been over-exposed to Jeff's hair stuff.
Test: (pulls some old chewing gum off of the underside of a chair) Heyy, gum! (pops it in his mouth and begins chewing)
Lance: (Stares in horror)
Jericho: My God, he's Tommy Dreamer, isn't he?
Lance: NOOO! NOT TEST! WHY DID THEY TAKE TEST?
Raven: You sprayed him with a bottle of water.
Lance: ...huh?
Raven: Jeff thought he was Doink, and tried to make a seltzer bottle. (Sprays Test with the REAL detangler and then whaps him one)
Test: (Blinks) ...(pauses, chews for a minute) ...hey, I got gum!
Jericho: (grimace) Well, he's not Tommy Dreamer anymore, but he still is an idiot..that Test!
Lance: Well, I still don't know what to do about Christian or Jeff.
Raven: Maybe if we injected the detangler straight into their bloodstream...
(Everyone slowly looks at Raven)
Raven: ...y'knoow. With needles?
Test: ...(looks down, at his foot, tapping it slightly, and then shifting uncomfortably, a look of confusement on his face)
Lance: ...that's it. (Grabs Christian by the ear and drags him to a mirror) WHAT DO YOU SEE?!?!!
Christian: (looks thoughtfully at mirror) Umm...(stares harder)
Jericho: Don't do that, he thinks he's Keibler! Wait until he has a brain to think with!!
Lance: (Gives Jericho a glare)
Jericho: ...Oh, yeah, Christian himself has no brain...
Test: Uhh...guys?
Raven: (Not hearing Test, who goes on unheard in the background) Seriously...I have some needles. All I need is an IV so we can get it in their bloodstream.
Lance: Is that really necessary?
Jericho: I don't think that's such a great idea...I mean..
Raven: What do you mean? It's a great idea!!
Test: (In background, uncomfortably clicking his heel against the ground)
Lance: Well, it says to not get product in eyes, rinse if that occurs, and call for help if ingested, and here we are spraying it in their faces to make them inhale it!!!
Test: THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOTS!!!
(Everyone suddenly turns to watch Test hop around on one foot, as he took his boot off, and he is now holding some form of snake in one hand and his boot in the other. The snake hisses loudly.)
Raven: ....
Lance: ....
Jericho: ...(looks around, and discreetly socks Christian in the back of the head)
Christian: (Blinks, sees himself in the mirror, and begins to straighten his hair)
Jeff: EEEK!! SNAKE!! KYAAAHH!! (Runs into a wall, knocking himself unconcsious...again)
Edge: (Slowly watches all the chaos unfold) Ooooohh...kaaayy...(We hear his music cue up in the arena, and he quickly walks around them) ...(Pauses to look back at them) ...you know, you need help.
Raven: ...help? (Looks at Christian, who baby-talks his reflection fondly) ...hmmm....
Test: AAAHHHHH SNAAAAAAAAAAAKKE!!!!
Lance: I didn't even know you could pronounce the word 'snake' if you put two 'k's in...
Jericho: Huh? Lance, what the Hell are you talking about?
Lance: Oh, nothing...have we all gotten our matches out of the way?
Jericho: (sigh) I think so.
Lance: Well, then let's go...back...to...(wince) ...our hotel room....
Raven: I HAVE A PLAN!!!!
Jericho and Lance: (pause. they both look at each other, baring expressions of utter fear and unrest)
Raven: Where's Rico?!
Jericho: ...now I know it's REALLY bad.
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Our poor, poor doomed Superstars are standing outside of a door
Raven: All righty, we're here! One of you knock.
Lance: Us? Why not you?
Raven: Because he hates me.
Lance: Ugh...you?! He hates me more than you! I insult his home country week in and week out!!
Jericho: (In a disdainful tone) Well, don't look at me, I'M a 'pompous ass' according to his royal fatness!! (scoffs) Telling ME to get a tan on my lower body? Well, he should try this wonderful thing called exercise!!
Christian: (In odd high voice, braiding Jeff's hair into pigtails) Who are we looking for again?
Jeff: Where's my headband?
Lance: (Looks at Christian and Jeff angrily) WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!?!
Christian: ...*sniffle*
JR: (Suddenly busts out of door) NMAH GAWD! IN 25 YEARS, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHIN' LAIK THEEIS, KEENG!!!
The King: Whoo-hoo, puppies!! HAHAHAHAA!! I love RAW!!!
JR: SCALDED DOG! BOOGER RED!!!
Raven: (Pushed forward by others) Umm...Hi, Mr Ross!! How are you today?
JR: Well, I'm just dandy, but OH MY GAWD, JERRY THE KEENG LAWLER IS NUTTIER THAN A PET COON!!
Christian: (tugs on Jericho's shirt) What's a 'coon'?
Jericho: Shoosh! (Whaps Christian, then curses inwardly as Christian freaks, grabbing a bag and putting it over his head)
Raven: Umm...can you, uh...tell us where to...
JR: BRADSHAW IS A HORSE!! MY GAWD!!
Raven: ...to find...
King: Woo-hoo! Puppies!! Hahaha!!
Raven: ...find Rico...
JR: OH MY GAWD!! Calm down, Keeeng!!
Raven: ...*sob*...*cough*...*whimper*...*hiccup*...(hugs Test and cries uncontrolably onto his shoulder)
Test: (Is unable to talk as there is a snake coiled around his face)
Jeff: (crying) My pigtails came undone!! Jericho, you braid your hair, finish my other pigtail!
Jericho: Hey, you BBQ-loving fatass! Where's Rico?!
JR: NMAH GAWD! IN NEARLY 25 YEARS IN THIS BUSINESS, NO ONE HAS HAD THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME A FATASS TO MY FACE!!!
Jerry: Rico? Why do you wanna find Rico?
Jericho: Because he's the only man that can save us!!
Jerry: Uhh...he left the arena already!!
All ('cept JR, King Christian Jeff and Raven: WHAT?!
Jerry: We just gave him a little time off so he can tend to some business back home!
(Silence, with our not-so-merry crew staring at JR and King. They sigh, shake their heads, and leave, back to their hotel room)
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Back at the accursed hotel room B-13
Raven: (Sitting bored, repeatedly hitting Christian in the head, making him utter catch-phrases)
Test: Where's Jericho?
Lance: He went to a Fozzy show. You know his weird Moongoose McQueen obsession.
Test: ...I'm hungry...I'm gonna go get something to eat. (Leaves)
Christian: Just anotha VICTUM!!!
Raven: (Freaks out, grabbing a nearby frying pan and denting it against Christian's skull)
Lance: (After watching Raven freak out) Test...wait for me...!
Raven: (Sighs) I want someone who can understand me...
Christian: What about me?
Raven: ...(looks at Christian like he's an angel) ...what did you just say?
Christian: I SAID, what about me? What about...
(Raven joins in on cue)
Raven and Christian: ..RAVEN?!
(There's a long pause, as the two give each other an odd look. However, they both realize that as of right now, they're eachother's only friend. They quickly hug.)
Christian: Finally! Someone who will only be my friend - not another would-be ally, but a true FRIEND!!!
Raven: A co-host, not only in my evil talk-show of life, but someone who will assist me in all of my evil...
Raven and Christian: FOREVER!!!
(Both of them laugh on cue, as we fade...)
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In a small cafe, somewhere in the area...
Lance: I can's take much more of this...I think if I hear Christian utter some other thing that he would never say and is only saying because he under hair-product influence one more time, I'm going to SNAP!! And if you turn into Hardcore Holly again, I'll be sick!!
Small child: Are you Lance Storm?
Lance: Oh..(smiles) ..are you a wrestling fan?
Small Child: (nods)
Test: Hey, scram, brat!
Lance: Be nice to him! (leans down by kid) Did you have something you wanna say?
Small Child: Canada sucks!! (runs off)
Lance: ...
Test: What's that all aboot?
(Lance does a double-take out the window as he sees Raven and Christian walking down the street, dressed exactly alike)
Lance: ...the question is, what is THAT all aboot...er...about?
THE END????????????????
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OMG! What is Raven thinking? Umm...you tell me? I don't know - I can't write this anymore! What is Raven planning - YOU decide! Yeah, you! What are you looking forward to? I'll pick my favorite, so make it juicy with extra ketchup!! Where did Jericho and Jeff go? Does Test have a fetish with Hardcore Holly he's not telling us 'aboot'? OH MY GOD! PLEASE HELP! I NEED A VACATION, AND SCHOOL STARTS IN A WEEK! MY BRAAAAIN!! ...plz read and review...
By The Ripperette
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, during the next night's house show, the Canadian Contingent (And Raven and Jeff) had a night thet weren't going to forget soon. On account of yet another few shots to the head, there was an interesting Paddle on a Pole Bra and Panties triple threat match earlier in the night between Jeff (Trish), Christian (Stacy), and, interestingly enough, Test (Hardcore Holly).
And now, the rest of the night continued...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the curtain...
Test: (Getting dragged behind the curtain by Jericho and Lance, while attempting to pose seductively) HOW DO YOU LIKE MY PANTIES NOW?!
Jericho: (Whaps Test in the head)
Lance: (Quickly sprays Test with the detangler)
Test: (Stares blankly)
Jericho: ...is he okay?
Lance: Umm..right now, I'm just hoping he hasn't been over-exposed to Jeff's hair stuff.
Test: (pulls some old chewing gum off of the underside of a chair) Heyy, gum! (pops it in his mouth and begins chewing)
Lance: (Stares in horror)
Jericho: My God, he's Tommy Dreamer, isn't he?
Lance: NOOO! NOT TEST! WHY DID THEY TAKE TEST?
Raven: You sprayed him with a bottle of water.
Lance: ...huh?
Raven: Jeff thought he was Doink, and tried to make a seltzer bottle. (Sprays Test with the REAL detangler and then whaps him one)
Test: (Blinks) ...(pauses, chews for a minute) ...hey, I got gum!
Jericho: (grimace) Well, he's not Tommy Dreamer anymore, but he still is an idiot..that Test!
Lance: Well, I still don't know what to do about Christian or Jeff.
Raven: Maybe if we injected the detangler straight into their bloodstream...
(Everyone slowly looks at Raven)
Raven: ...y'knoow. With needles?
Test: ...(looks down, at his foot, tapping it slightly, and then shifting uncomfortably, a look of confusement on his face)
Lance: ...that's it. (Grabs Christian by the ear and drags him to a mirror) WHAT DO YOU SEE?!?!!
Christian: (looks thoughtfully at mirror) Umm...(stares harder)
Jericho: Don't do that, he thinks he's Keibler! Wait until he has a brain to think with!!
Lance: (Gives Jericho a glare)
Jericho: ...Oh, yeah, Christian himself has no brain...
Test: Uhh...guys?
Raven: (Not hearing Test, who goes on unheard in the background) Seriously...I have some needles. All I need is an IV so we can get it in their bloodstream.
Lance: Is that really necessary?
Jericho: I don't think that's such a great idea...I mean..
Raven: What do you mean? It's a great idea!!
Test: (In background, uncomfortably clicking his heel against the ground)
Lance: Well, it says to not get product in eyes, rinse if that occurs, and call for help if ingested, and here we are spraying it in their faces to make them inhale it!!!
Test: THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOTS!!!
(Everyone suddenly turns to watch Test hop around on one foot, as he took his boot off, and he is now holding some form of snake in one hand and his boot in the other. The snake hisses loudly.)
Raven: ....
Lance: ....
Jericho: ...(looks around, and discreetly socks Christian in the back of the head)
Christian: (Blinks, sees himself in the mirror, and begins to straighten his hair)
Jeff: EEEK!! SNAKE!! KYAAAHH!! (Runs into a wall, knocking himself unconcsious...again)
Edge: (Slowly watches all the chaos unfold) Ooooohh...kaaayy...(We hear his music cue up in the arena, and he quickly walks around them) ...(Pauses to look back at them) ...you know, you need help.
Raven: ...help? (Looks at Christian, who baby-talks his reflection fondly) ...hmmm....
Test: AAAHHHHH SNAAAAAAAAAAAKKE!!!!
Lance: I didn't even know you could pronounce the word 'snake' if you put two 'k's in...
Jericho: Huh? Lance, what the Hell are you talking about?
Lance: Oh, nothing...have we all gotten our matches out of the way?
Jericho: (sigh) I think so.
Lance: Well, then let's go...back...to...(wince) ...our hotel room....
Raven: I HAVE A PLAN!!!!
Jericho and Lance: (pause. they both look at each other, baring expressions of utter fear and unrest)
Raven: Where's Rico?!
Jericho: ...now I know it's REALLY bad.
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Our poor, poor doomed Superstars are standing outside of a door
Raven: All righty, we're here! One of you knock.
Lance: Us? Why not you?
Raven: Because he hates me.
Lance: Ugh...you?! He hates me more than you! I insult his home country week in and week out!!
Jericho: (In a disdainful tone) Well, don't look at me, I'M a 'pompous ass' according to his royal fatness!! (scoffs) Telling ME to get a tan on my lower body? Well, he should try this wonderful thing called exercise!!
Christian: (In odd high voice, braiding Jeff's hair into pigtails) Who are we looking for again?
Jeff: Where's my headband?
Lance: (Looks at Christian and Jeff angrily) WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!?!
Christian: ...*sniffle*
JR: (Suddenly busts out of door) NMAH GAWD! IN 25 YEARS, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHIN' LAIK THEEIS, KEENG!!!
The King: Whoo-hoo, puppies!! HAHAHAHAA!! I love RAW!!!
JR: SCALDED DOG! BOOGER RED!!!
Raven: (Pushed forward by others) Umm...Hi, Mr Ross!! How are you today?
JR: Well, I'm just dandy, but OH MY GAWD, JERRY THE KEENG LAWLER IS NUTTIER THAN A PET COON!!
Christian: (tugs on Jericho's shirt) What's a 'coon'?
Jericho: Shoosh! (Whaps Christian, then curses inwardly as Christian freaks, grabbing a bag and putting it over his head)
Raven: Umm...can you, uh...tell us where to...
JR: BRADSHAW IS A HORSE!! MY GAWD!!
Raven: ...to find...
King: Woo-hoo! Puppies!! Hahaha!!
Raven: ...find Rico...
JR: OH MY GAWD!! Calm down, Keeeng!!
Raven: ...*sob*...*cough*...*whimper*...*hiccup*...(hugs Test and cries uncontrolably onto his shoulder)
Test: (Is unable to talk as there is a snake coiled around his face)
Jeff: (crying) My pigtails came undone!! Jericho, you braid your hair, finish my other pigtail!
Jericho: Hey, you BBQ-loving fatass! Where's Rico?!
JR: NMAH GAWD! IN NEARLY 25 YEARS IN THIS BUSINESS, NO ONE HAS HAD THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME A FATASS TO MY FACE!!!
Jerry: Rico? Why do you wanna find Rico?
Jericho: Because he's the only man that can save us!!
Jerry: Uhh...he left the arena already!!
All ('cept JR, King Christian Jeff and Raven: WHAT?!
Jerry: We just gave him a little time off so he can tend to some business back home!
(Silence, with our not-so-merry crew staring at JR and King. They sigh, shake their heads, and leave, back to their hotel room)
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Back at the accursed hotel room B-13
Raven: (Sitting bored, repeatedly hitting Christian in the head, making him utter catch-phrases)
Test: Where's Jericho?
Lance: He went to a Fozzy show. You know his weird Moongoose McQueen obsession.
Test: ...I'm hungry...I'm gonna go get something to eat. (Leaves)
Christian: Just anotha VICTUM!!!
Raven: (Freaks out, grabbing a nearby frying pan and denting it against Christian's skull)
Lance: (After watching Raven freak out) Test...wait for me...!
Raven: (Sighs) I want someone who can understand me...
Christian: What about me?
Raven: ...(looks at Christian like he's an angel) ...what did you just say?
Christian: I SAID, what about me? What about...
(Raven joins in on cue)
Raven and Christian: ..RAVEN?!
(There's a long pause, as the two give each other an odd look. However, they both realize that as of right now, they're eachother's only friend. They quickly hug.)
Christian: Finally! Someone who will only be my friend - not another would-be ally, but a true FRIEND!!!
Raven: A co-host, not only in my evil talk-show of life, but someone who will assist me in all of my evil...
Raven and Christian: FOREVER!!!
(Both of them laugh on cue, as we fade...)
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In a small cafe, somewhere in the area...
Lance: I can's take much more of this...I think if I hear Christian utter some other thing that he would never say and is only saying because he under hair-product influence one more time, I'm going to SNAP!! And if you turn into Hardcore Holly again, I'll be sick!!
Small child: Are you Lance Storm?
Lance: Oh..(smiles) ..are you a wrestling fan?
Small Child: (nods)
Test: Hey, scram, brat!
Lance: Be nice to him! (leans down by kid) Did you have something you wanna say?
Small Child: Canada sucks!! (runs off)
Lance: ...
Test: What's that all aboot?
(Lance does a double-take out the window as he sees Raven and Christian walking down the street, dressed exactly alike)
Lance: ...the question is, what is THAT all aboot...er...about?
THE END????????????????
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OMG! What is Raven thinking? Umm...you tell me? I don't know - I can't write this anymore! What is Raven planning - YOU decide! Yeah, you! What are you looking forward to? I'll pick my favorite, so make it juicy with extra ketchup!! Where did Jericho and Jeff go? Does Test have a fetish with Hardcore Holly he's not telling us 'aboot'? OH MY GOD! PLEASE HELP! I NEED A VACATION, AND SCHOOL STARTS IN A WEEK! MY BRAAAAIN!! ...plz read and review...