Disclaimer: I don't own and Yuu… I'M SORRY FOR TORTURING YOUR CHILDREN!!!!
Author's Note: After having received a loving threat from dear Shadow Priestess, I thought it in my best interest to update this little fic so I didn't die a horrible, painful death. **fanged grin** Thanks Shadow Priestess! Great motivation! **deep breath** okay… Baaaaaaaad chapter is over… heeheehee.. still wondering what Nakago's after? I'm not telling… I'm not telling… but he might… sometime… ^__~
Heaven's DoorChapter 6: Forgiveness
Chuin sat at Miz Zacharie's table, sipping hot chocolate from mug. The old woman had insisted he come to her house, and had given him a sweater to warm him up. Chuin knew without a doubt that the sweater was Ayuru's, it smelled like him. Miz Zacharie also insisted that he stay the night in one of the guest rooms. He looked down at his wrists, at the angry bruises that had appeared there. The confusion was still there… but more than that was the hurt. Ayuru had hurt him in more ways than one.
What's going on with him? One minute he's caring and kind… and the next he's cold and cruel and trying to… he made his thoughts break off. An involuntary shudder hit him, and he swallowed hard to prevent himself from crying again.
Miz Zacharie came into the kitchen, sat down in a chair adjacent to him. "My child, you look awful."
Chuin managed a weak smile. "It's… been a rough night."
She fixed him with suspicious wise eyes. "Are you and 'Ru seeing each other?"
He choked on his hot chocolate. He looked her, unsure of how to answer.
The woman waved a hand in the air. "I know he's gay, it's okay."
"Oh… yeah… we are… or were."
"What happened?" she pressed.
I don't want to tell her bad things about her grandson! But I want to tell someone! He took a deep breath. "Ayuru and I, just met a week ago. Things were going so well, until tonight. He came to my apartment… and he was so cold…" he trailed off, hugged himself.
"Cold? How?"
"He.. he shoved me down, pinned my arms above my head…" Chuin stopped, shook his head.
Miz Zacharie sat thoughtfully for a moment. "How did you get away?"
Chuin looked at her, tears forming in his amber eyes. "He let me go.. He screamed for me to run, so I did."
A dark cloud passed over the old woman. "Nakago…" she hissed.
Did she…? Chuin's hand darted out, grasped her arm tightly. "What name did you say?"
"Nakago… It wasn't Ayuru who did that to you. It was Nakago."
He stared at her for a moment. She looked angry, and wasn't looking at him, but staring at an unseen thing. "Who's Nakago?" he asked quietly.
"Ayuru didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Miz Zacharie sighed. "If 'Ru didn't
tell you, then it's not my place. But
just know that Ayuru saved you tonight, he didn't hurt you." She stood up. "Come with me, I'll show you where you can sleep tonight."
Chuin stumbled after the short woman, thoughts running wildly in his head. When he had settled into bed, he allowed himself to think hard about what she had said.
Nakago… that was what Ayuru went by in my dream… and now she's saying that it wasn't Ayuru who attacked me… but Nakago… What the hell does that mean? He let the tears come, and quietly cried himself to sleep.
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He was back in the dream, dressed in the odd clothes while people called him Tomo. He was standing in a tent, looking at Ayuru. The blonde was sitting in a chair, scowl on his face. He had no shirt on, and a dressing had been wrapped around his shoulder. The girl who had been in the other dream placed a robe over his shoulders.
"Leave us, Soi."
The girl cast Chuin a dark look, then bowed and retreated from the tent.
"Nakago-sama… how did this happen?" There it is again… that name.. thought Chuin. He walked over, knelt in front of him.
"Tamahome followed the girl, he surprised me."
"So he knows that Suzaku no Miko is not pure anymore." Chuin cackled, a maniacal, evil laugh.
"Suzaku no Miko's purity remains intact," Ayuru/Nakago said.
Chuin felt Tomo grow angry. "Nani?" Wait.. now I'm speaking Japanese? How weird can this dream get?
Nakago looked up, locked his blue eyes with Tomo's amber ones. "It matters not. If she thinks she was raped, then the plan worked."
"Why didn't you?" he asked.
"I couldn't," he said quietly. "She was on the floor, unconscious, and a red chi emanated from her body… It formed a barrier that even I couldn't get through."
Tomo leaned his face towards Nakago's. "Couldn't or wouldn't?"
Nakago's eyes flashed with a blue glow. "Do not cross me Tomo…" he warned.
He backed away, bowed respectfully. "Hai, gomen nasaii, Nakago-sama."
Then, Nakago rose from his chair, gripped Tomo's arms painfully, and suddenly, Chuin was in his apartment, with Ayuru on top of him.
"No, Ayuru.. please! Don't!" He looked up at Ayuru's eyes, but they were ice… just as Nakago's had been.
Ayuru bent closer, started kissing Chuin…
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Chuin woke up in a cold sweat, sat bolt upright. He was breathing hard, and was gripping the sheet so tightly he almost couldn't let go. Okay, heart… you can stop racing now… His heart complied, and began to slow its rapid beating… until Chuin realized he wasn't alone in the room.
A figure, framed by the light of the hall, stood in the door.
"Wh-wh-who's there?" Chuin asked in a shaky voice.
The figure moved forward, walking up to Chuin and placing its hand over his mouth.
"Shhh, Chuin… I need to talk to you."
Ayuru… Suddenly, all Chuin wanted to do was scream. Instead, he froze, wide-eyed, and simply stared at the man who only hours ago had tried to rape him in his own apartment.
Ayuru moved into the moonlight streaming through the window. He gazed into Chuin's eyes, and Chuin saw that there was no malice, no hate, no coldness in those eyes. Rather, they looked haggard, tired, and pleading.
"Okay," he whispered. Ayuru backed away, waved for Chuin to follow him. The smaller man crawled out of bed, pulled on his pants and the sweater Ayuru's grandmother had given him, and followed.
They walked outside, away from the house. A stupid panic worked its way into Chuin's head. What if he's taking me out into the woods so he can rape me, kill me, and then hide my body? He opened his mouth to say something, but Ayuru wasn't walking toward the woods. Instead, he was walking toward the cemetery.
Chuin kept his mouth shut and followed. Once they were in the cemetery and seated on the benches in the center, Ayuru turned to speak.
"There are… things… you need to know about me. Things I should have explained when we first met. I just.. I didn't want to lose you." Ayuru sounded much like the wounded animal, instead of the hunter.
Chuin looked at him. "Who's Nakago?" he asked.
Ayuru didn't say anything for a moment, but finally took a deep breath, and began to speak in a low voice. "When I was a child, my parents… molested me. I don't remember any of it, because when it happened, my alternate personality came out and I went away into the recesses of my mind. The alternate personality, Nakago, protected me… but he killed my parents, and set fire to the house." Ayuru paused, swallowed hard. "I was put on medication to make Nakago go away, and he did… until two years ago. For some reason he came back, and every once in a while he'd take over."
"Like tonight?"
He looked up at Chuin, tears sliding down his cheeks. "When I woke up this morning, I could barely move. Nakago had gone out during the night… and I guess he got into a fight or something. I started yelling, and he came into my head. We had an argument… and I went to my grandmother's to talk to her. After that, I was so upset it was easy for him to come out. I could only watch as he went to your apartment, and—" Ayuru cut off, and a sob escaped his lips. "I wasn't strong enough to stop him, until I heard this voice. It was a beautiful voice, and it told me to be strong. I used every bit of strength I had to push him away and tell you to run." Ayuru started, surprised by the soft, strong, warm fingers that closed over his own. He looked down, saw Chuin's hand over his, squeezing tightly.
"But you did save me, Ayuru, you did." Chuin had tears in his eyes well. It all makes sense now… he thought. Except for the dream…
Ayuru burst into tears. "I am so sorry, Chuin. I don't deserve to be forgiven."
Chuin reached up and pulled Ayuru into a hug. "Of course you do. It isn't your fault." Well, he thought, isn't this interesting?
After a few moments, Ayuru's sobs dwindled and died out. He sat up, wiped his eyes.
"Ayuru, what is it that Nakago wants?" Chuin asked.
The taller man shrugged. "I have no idea, but I do know the only reason he went after you is because of us."
"The only way we can stop him is if we find out what he's after."
Ayuru narrowed his eyes at Chuin. "What are you getting at?"
"The next time Nakago comes out, I'm going to follow him."
Ayuru shook his head vehemently. "No, Chuin, you can't. I can't control him, if he finds you, who knows what he'll do."
"Ayuru," Chuin stared intently at him. "It's the only way." He reached up and cupped Ayuru's cheek. Then he moved forward and kissed him softly on the lips. "Don't worry about me… I'll be fine."
TBC… bwahahaha!