Ugh...last chapter. Finally. I'm really rather ready for this to be done with. This is the longest, too! Yay!
I got my first real flame…kinda! ^^; It was from my 'Happy for You' fic, but I think I'll share it here:
Harry and Ron is one of the grossest couples. They're like brothers, it's like being a guy and screwing your brother. I'm not against gays or anything but we know that Harry and Ron are heterosexuals. Harry likes Cho, duh, and Ron seems to like Hermione. So yeah. Good fic for what it is. You really do need to build it up a bit more for it to work though, or at least explain how it first started. Yeah, Harry and Ron slash...rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttttttttt!
--incendio
::giggle:: Flamers are so silly, aren't they? Hmm, now, I *know* that I said I didn't like Harry/Ron…people don't listen, do they? And I'm sure that it's nice that they found my fic while looking for a Hermione/Ron..but…I *did* say right off that it was a Harry/Ron. Oh well…not, I am a true slash writer. ^-^
To everyone who has kept up with me so far--thanks! I love you guys.
No Longer Playing
This isn't fun anymore. Because now I know. I ant play this game anymore. I couldn't place the voice until now because it was muffled under an Invisibility Cloak.
I should have known. This whole time, I've been so stupid! I should have listened to Ron for once. Even though he's almost never right...he said Hermione thought the same, and she's almost never wrong! Please, please say something that will prove that you aren't...
"Hufflepuff, Fifth year."
I can feel my whole body relax, though something still gnaws at my stomach. I really don't know any of the Fifth year Hufflepuffs, save those on their Quidditch team.
SO it's not Malfoy then. Of course it isn't, how could I ever have thought that it was? Not that I wanted it to be Malfoy...
Would it be so terrible? If Malfoy fancied me? It can't be true though, the way he makes my life a living Hell. I fight back...but only because I have to. Because I enjoy it.
Maybe...it wouldn't be so terrible if maybe I fancied him, just a bit. He *is* the most attractive boy in Hogwarts, after all. I don't count. But he's so cruel, so cold...
I have to keep up the game though, if its not Malfoy, all the better. If it is, he's a rather good actor. I cock my head to one side, pondering. "Well then, at least you aren't Malfoy, right?"
"Again, what's so wrong with Malfoy? Surely you must find him a bit attractive; everyone else does. I've never seen you with a girl besides your friend...I assume that you prefer boys?"
Amah, the big question. Do I prefer boys? Yes, I suppose I do. Do I find Malfoy attractive? Perhaps... But you don't have to like someone for them to be visually pleasing. Merlin knows that he isn't very pleasing otherwise. I turn the tables back on my invisible companion, "I don't see why it matters to you."
Ah. Damn. He does have a point. Why would a Hufflepuff care if Potter finds me attractive or not? Why should I care, for that matter?
I don't, of course. It's only my mouth that says I do. I'm sleepy; I can't control everything that I say. "It doesn't matter, of course, I was only curious. But maybe you shouldn't think so badly of him. I don't think that it's his fault that he's such an arse."
He laughs, but its more like a low cough, "Why wouldn't it be? No one tells him to be mean to me, do they? No one tells him to hate me."
Yes, I hate him. How could I not? Because he's so perfect, so...damn. I want to hit him. And to touch him Stupid.
Those bright green eyes stare through me, illuminated by the dim light of this tiny passage. I could reach my bare feet across the passage and touch him.. Wouldn't that be interesting; a pair of disembodied feet floating along the ground? But it reminds me of the time in Hogmeade back in Third year. I still don't forgive you for that, Potter/
My pride was hurt...he always hurts my pride. Another reason to hate him. I crawl over to sit next to him; I can smell him now, I'm so close, I can see every little speck of colour in his eyes. But I say nothing.
He turns to me; I've said nothing, but I guess I made enough noise in moving, "Maybe there's parts of him that you don't know yet."
I'm getting soft, must be. Why am I talking to Potter like this? There *are* deeper layers of myself that I haven't shown him, haven't shown anyone. I cant look weak. Malfoys aren't weak.
**
Part of Malfoy that I don't know... Like playing in the Dark Arts since he was a child? I already knew that much. He's sitting next to me now, so I stretch out my legs and put my hands next to me.
"Malfoy hates me, always has. That's all I need to know." It's a bit disturbing, talking to someone you can't see. I turn back to the wall opposite us. Why won't he tell me who he is? The wall in quite interesting now as I stare at it, trying to unravel his identity. He whispers something soft and low, and I cant make out a single word.
Should I talk to this boy? Tell a complete stranger my secrets that I am only now beginning to understand for myself? Something slithery and familiar touches my hand; an Invisibility Cloak. It's impossible to mistake its feel, especially now that I have been using one myself for several years.
"Do you think, maybe," a cold hand slips over mind, and I must fight back a blush as he goes on. "That maybe Slytherins and Gryffindors should get along a bit better?"
His hand is cold, like a marble statue; I look down to see it clasped hesitantly around mine, a pale, disembodied hand that ends just below the wrist. His skin is so cold, but it makes me feel warmer inside. Should Slytherins and Gryffindors get along better? I certainly think so, and I tell him this.
His whisper is close to my ear this time as he turns our hands palm-to-palm, lacing our fingers together, "DO you mind?"
I don't think he's really asking permission; I can feel his cool flesh warming in my hand. I don't suppose it matters, its just a hand, after all, right? I see Parvati and Lavender holding hands all the time, but everyone knows that Lavender is 'secretly' in love with Seamus. So it doesn't really mean anything, right?
"I don't mind. Though, still, I don't know who you are. I'd like to at lest know the name of the person who fancies me, but I don't even know that." I'm told I bite my bottom lips when I'm nervous, a habit I picked up over the summer before Fifth year. My lip must be quite red by now.
He closes his fingers tighter around mine in almost a possessive way, "Oh? Don't you?'
**
Quite thick, isn't he?
What am I doing? What the hell am I thinking? Make him want me, then break his heart. Yes, that sounds good. Break his heart so badly that he kills himself.
How wonderful; I'll be directly responsible for the death of the Boy Who Lived. Father will be happy, potter will be dead, and Voldemort will finally come into power.
But...I don't really want that to happen. I don't want Voldemort in power. I don't even really want to be a Death Eater.
Potter's hand squeezes mine a bit...I wonder if I can squeeze his enough to break the bones? But what would be the point? He would only go to Pomfrey to get it healed, and then forget about it within a few days.
I want to hurt him so badly that he never forgets it. I want it to haunt him at night, never relenting, even when he's old and ready to die. I want him to dream at night of me, and wake up screaming.
I think...yes, it would be quite easy. That's why I'm holding his hand, of course. Because I can hurt him this way. We hate each other, but I can make him love me.
I'm good at games of the mind. I can act; I can make him love me, then break him. I think I like this game, though it must remain a secret. Can't have people thinking I really like Potter, can I?
But I can do this. I can play this game, and I can win.
**
What is he doing? What is he thinking? A habitual glance at my watch reveals nothing; it's been broken for ages. But as far as I can figure, it must be around three or four in the morning.
What did he mean? Could it be that I was right after all? But...why would Malfoy do this? Why would he hold my hand like this?
I wonder if...
I can feel him go stiff as I lay my head down just where his shoulder should be. Luckily I guesses right; he seems about my height, which is odd, because I'm still so very short. Even most Fourth years are taller than I am. The closest person to my height in our year is Malfoy, and even he has a few more centimetres than I do.
Eventually he relaxes and gives my hand a small squeeze. I rather like this feeling; having someone I can lean on and talk to without having to worry about them not liking me or liking me for the wrong reasons. Though...I still don't know who he is.
I close my eyes, and I think I must have fallen asleep, because after a bit I can feel him shaking me. I sit up again, blinking my eyes sleepily.
"Wake up, Potter. Breakfast is soon, so we should be going."
I pout. Breakfast; who needs it?
"Close your eyes," he whispers to me.
Should I? I've had my guard down all night, haven't I? Maybe he'll finally show himself to me? I'm still fairly sure that it is--
His cool hand caresses me cheek just as I close my eyes, and soft, warm lips press to mind. He tastes nice...a bit like mint chocolate and butterbeer. I open my eyes to just the tiniest slits; silver.
I'm not too sure if I like this or not. The kiss I like, but... It's over too soon, and the lips are gone.
Judging by the rustle of robes and the soft pounding of feet, so it he.
**
I don't stop til I'm safely in my bed, covers pulled up over my head. Oh Hell. What did I just do, and who is the evil person that took over my body?
He...I...oh Hell. I just kissed Harry Potter.
And it was nice. His lips were soft and he was warm and I want to do it again.
Mission aborted, all wizards for themselves. Its not a game anymore, everything is changed now.
But he doesn't know that it was me. As long as he doesn't know that it was me, I'll be ok. If he ever found out...the whole school would peg me for a pouffe. And he...would hate me more, wouldn't he?
I dread breakfast, only an hour away. No sleep makes Draco a very fussy boy. If I were home now, house elves would be flying. Draco kicks things when he's upset.
I might as well go down now, as there's no chance of sleep today. Maybe not tomorrow, either. I don't think I can ever sleep again, knowing the things that I know now.
A lengthy shower and making myself presentable only takes half of an hour...maybe I wont be the first one down. Or even better, maybe I was off, and breakfast is already over.
No such luck; people are already straggling in and slumping down at their tables. Mostly Ravenclaws who have probably been up with their noses in books for hours already.
Pumpkin juice, milk, eggs, toast...I can't taste a thing. None of it compares to...no. Not thinking about that. Not thinking about his lips on mine, as it will never happen again.
Because I still hate him.
Toast...that's all I look at until the owls arrive, thousands of wings fluttering overhead. My own owl doesn't show up, but just as the owls are leaving, a school owl drops a roll of parchment in front of me, right into my half-eaten toast.
What? Who's sending me something by school owl? Why didn't they use mine, she's in the owlery?
I pull at the thin red string that holds the scroll together and unroll it. The green ink is in a hand that I don't know, but I'd be a fool not to recognize the initials scrawled at the bottom of the page:
I don't hate you, either.
-H.J.P
Owari! ^-^
v.1.0: 1.24.02
v.2.0: 8.20.02
Heehee...Leaves things wide open for a sequel, doesn't it? ^__^ Well, I wouldn't be looking for one nay time soon...I've got *way* too many other fics that I'm working on to start yet another one. x.x Add to that- I'm going half-way across the country for University...its scary!! Less than 24 hours now, and I'll be there. T-T
I must thank my muses, who actually stuck by me the whole time I was writing this. I'm so proud of them. ^-^ And everyone who has actually kept up with this fic...you guys are so great. T-T ::hugs everyone and hands out chocolate-covered...erm...everyone!::
Keep reading my stuff, even if you don't like the pairings! XD Who knows, maybe it'll convert you! I've already turned a close friend of mine into a Draco-ite, and gotten several people to enjoy Fred&George. ^^; who knows, next, I might go for Pansy...though I'll have to get myself to like her, first. x.x And...watch out for my newest toy; 'The Adventures of Slut!Draco'! Its a little funny, a little angsty, and a lot dirty. ^__^ And...'My Bloody Valentine' which is...just really angsty. ^^ And will be out *before* Valentines Day! XD
Ooh! And--if you want to read any of my stuff before it actually gets finished and/or posted, join SlytheirnDungeons@Groups.Yahoo.com. I frequently post up stories that either aren't finished or never will be finished, and its the *only* ML that will ever see my Harry Potter fics. ^^;
Ok then, I'm going to stop going on about myself. Grr, I'm starting to sound like Lockhart. . Not good , not good!! Review! flame! Anything! XD I love you guys!