The tears that slid down her cheeks felt warm and relieving, yet she
quickly wiped them away with a red, velvet sleeve. Lest anyone hear, she
sank her teeth into her sleeve covered left fist and squinched her eyes
shut. She couldn't let anyone hear but she needed some way to release her
ain and remorse. What had she done? She wanted to drag her fingers through
her neatly done hair nad tug it every which way in her agony but she didn't
dare. Instead she bit down on her sleeved fist even harder, just now
beginning to feel a tinge of physical pain.
She knew now more than ever the extent of her feelings for the young Jedi Knight. A force that she had never felt coarsed through her veins. She truly loved him. Yet what had she done to show it? Seh ahd treated him indifferently ever since their rescue from the wilds that had almost claimed his life. But why? She was the queen of Naboo, as everyone now knew, yet even queens could love. Inside she was only a girl of eighteen. Why had she had so much trouble sorting through her emotions? They were new to her and scared her but that most certainly didn't give her the right to treat him as if he were merely one of her pawns. He wasn't... was he? Did she truly love him? Or was it a love born out of dependece? In the forest she had needed him. He was vital to her survival and when she was faced with loosing him had her feelings risen to a breaking point because she was inadvertently being confronted with her own mortality? Did Obi-Wan really love her for who she was or because she needed him? The only way to find the answers to the questions was to spend more time with him. Now that was impossible. She had sent him and his master to cause a distraction at the palace. She chocked back another sob. They may very well be killed. The thought made her want to scream out in anguish but she stifled her cry.
"My Lady?" Sabe apprehensively stood in the distance.
Padme visciously wiped away her tears once more. "Yes Sabe?"
"The gungans are mobilizing."
"Thank you," she kept her back to her and her responses brisk as to not alert her handmaiden to her state.
Without needing to see the distraught face of her queen Sabe stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. Padme let herslef melt into her best friend's arms, steeling herself for what was to come. She could no longer let her thoughts dwell on herself. She was the queen of the Naboo. Her first consideration was her people. And she would serve them well. At all costs. She'd learned that strength of resolution from Obi-Wan, she realized. And she'd be dammned if she let some fish-faced Neimoidians take her people away from her. Not as long as she was alive.
"I am ready," she pulled back and straightened her outfit. Sabe gave her a reassuring look.
"We will not fail."
Padme locked eyes with her. "No. We cannot."
TBC...
She knew now more than ever the extent of her feelings for the young Jedi Knight. A force that she had never felt coarsed through her veins. She truly loved him. Yet what had she done to show it? Seh ahd treated him indifferently ever since their rescue from the wilds that had almost claimed his life. But why? She was the queen of Naboo, as everyone now knew, yet even queens could love. Inside she was only a girl of eighteen. Why had she had so much trouble sorting through her emotions? They were new to her and scared her but that most certainly didn't give her the right to treat him as if he were merely one of her pawns. He wasn't... was he? Did she truly love him? Or was it a love born out of dependece? In the forest she had needed him. He was vital to her survival and when she was faced with loosing him had her feelings risen to a breaking point because she was inadvertently being confronted with her own mortality? Did Obi-Wan really love her for who she was or because she needed him? The only way to find the answers to the questions was to spend more time with him. Now that was impossible. She had sent him and his master to cause a distraction at the palace. She chocked back another sob. They may very well be killed. The thought made her want to scream out in anguish but she stifled her cry.
"My Lady?" Sabe apprehensively stood in the distance.
Padme visciously wiped away her tears once more. "Yes Sabe?"
"The gungans are mobilizing."
"Thank you," she kept her back to her and her responses brisk as to not alert her handmaiden to her state.
Without needing to see the distraught face of her queen Sabe stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. Padme let herslef melt into her best friend's arms, steeling herself for what was to come. She could no longer let her thoughts dwell on herself. She was the queen of the Naboo. Her first consideration was her people. And she would serve them well. At all costs. She'd learned that strength of resolution from Obi-Wan, she realized. And she'd be dammned if she let some fish-faced Neimoidians take her people away from her. Not as long as she was alive.
"I am ready," she pulled back and straightened her outfit. Sabe gave her a reassuring look.
"We will not fail."
Padme locked eyes with her. "No. We cannot."
TBC...