Hey... thanks y'all for the reviews... well, here's my 3rd one... and for
the disclaimer
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Blah, blah, blah. This is not for profit. Blah, blah, blah. Enjoy.
THE ONE WITH THE PUMPKIN COSTUME
[Central Perk. Rachel's holding Emma while Monica, Chandler & Phoebe are drinking coffee.]
Rachel: Geez... Emma's been growing out of these clothes like crazy. I mean, you'd think that they'd make baby clothes out of spandex to save us some money.
Chandler: Because clothing companies just LOVE people buying less of their clothes.
Rachel: Well, I need to get Em some more stuff. Hey, Pheebs, Mon, you wanna come shopping with me? I think there's a sale at Macy's.
Phoebe: I boycotted Macy's when they wouldn't let me ring the bell outside their store.
Monica: It wasn't Macy's who wouldn't let you... it was those Salvation Army folks.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I'm boycotting the Salvation Army.
Rachel: Then Macy's it is.
[Opening Credits]
[Joey's Apartment. Joey & Chandler are present.]
Joey: So, Chandler, when you're married, does it feel different?
Chandler: Yeah, all of a sudden, you get all these girly impulses and you start wearing dresses. Oh wait, that's just my father.
Joey: Really.
Chandler: I don't know. Why, Joey? I mean, you're not even seeing anyone right now.
Joey: Y'see, I really like this girl at work, Grace. But I don't know how to get her to like me. You'd think with eight sister's that I'd be quite a ladies man.
Chandler: Wait, you're NOT a ladies man? I mean, how many chicks have you picked up with the [mimicking Joey] "How you doin'"?
Joey: Fifty-seven, but who's counting? Anyways... really, what do girls like?
Chandler: Now that you've considered me an "expert"... wow, I really feel like we're flipping roles... but, um, just don't cheat on her.
Joey: You mean you've never cheated on Mon? [Chandler gives him the look of death.] Man, marriage must suck!
[Macy's. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at clothes in the baby section.]
Phoebe: [picking up a "pumpkin" outfit] Ooh! Ooh! This is cute! Get this! Get this!
Rachel: Pheebs, I think that a Halloween costume.
Phoebe: I never had a Halloween costume. My mom was too busy writing her suicide letter to take me to get a costume.
Rachel: [picking up a crawler] How about this one?
Phoebe: Isn't that a baby costume?
Rachel: No... Emma IS a baby.
[Monica comes up to them with a bag in her hand.]
Phoebe: Mon, what did you buy?
Monica: Oh, nothing.
Rachel: Show me! Show me!
Monica: Nah, that's okay.
Phoebe: Oh, c'mon. [Rachel snatches the bag out of Monica's hand.]
Rachel: Maternity clothes? Y'know, I can wear REGULAR clothes now.
Monica: I got maternity clothes? Oh, my! I was wondering why everything had elastic waistbands. [Quickly takes the bag and leaves. Rachel and Phoebe just brush it off.]
Rachel: So, where were we now?
Phoebe: You just decided that Emma's going to be a pumpkin, not a baby.
[Commercial break.]
[Set for Days of our Lives. Joey approaches a blonde-haired lady who is putting makeup on one of the other actors.]
Joey: Hey Grace.
Grace: Hi Joey. What brings you to the woman's dressing room? [Joey does a double take] Just kidding! You guys fall for it every time.
Joey: So, I wanted to know... are you free Friday night?
Grace: Well, you guys are shooting then, so I think I'll be applying your makeup.
Joey: Oh yeah, well how about Saturday night?
Grace: Um, sure. How about at seven?
Joey: Seven it is. [Leaves] Chandler is god! [realizes what he just said] I never said that.
[Chandler and Monica's. Chandler's sitting on the couch reading the paper. Ross is holding Emma, feeding her a bottle. Phoebe and Rachel enter carrying bags.]
Ross: Hey, you.
Rachel: Hey. Look at all the clothes I got for Emma! There was the greatest sale at Macy's.
Phoebe: Oooh! Oooh! And look what I got! [Pulls out the Pumpkin costume] Isn't it great?
Ross: I think that Emma will have outgrown it by Halloween.
Phoebe: So then let's have a Halloween party here. You know, we can all dress up and take pictures and stuff.
Chandler: If I do remember correctly, some people have been scarred from the last Halloween party.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry if that bunny costume added to your "quality".
Chandler: Wow! We have our own Mr. Hanky right here!
[I hate to interrupt, but y'all know that Mr. Hanky's the talking Christmas poop from South Park, right?] [Joey enters the door.]
Ross: I was Spudnik.
Joey: And I'm the Queen of England.
Chandler: [sarcastically] You're not?
Joey: No. But I did meet the Duchess of York once.
Chandler: We know.
Joey: Anyways, I got the date! I'm going out with Grace tomorrow.
Chandler: That's awesome! I gave some good advice for once! [Chandler gets up and does his happy dance. Everyone just stares at him.] Okay, that dance is really getting old.
[Monica enters the apartment and makes a beeline to the bathroom.]
Joey: What's wrong with her? Give her some bad advice, Chandler? [Chandler makes a face.]
Phoebe: She was acting kinda strange today.
Rachel: And then we just lost her...
Joey: She must be hiding something from us.
Rachel: Monica never keeps any secrets from me... [everyone except Chandler looks at her.] Oh, wait... London, Chandler... she's keeping a secret! [Runs to the bathroom.] Monica! Monica! Open up!
[See Monica in the bathroom holding a used pregnancy test and trying to find a place to put it.]
Monica: One second. [She eventually just gives up and sticks it in her purse, making a disgusted face as she does it. She then opens the door.] Sorry, I just really had to pee.
Rachel: Oh, is that so? Because I didn't hear the toilet flush.
Monica: Our toilet is really quiet.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Are you hiding something from me?
Monica: [Uncomfortably] No... I'm not hiding anything from you... why would you think that?
Rachel: Omigod, you're pregnant!
Monica: No I'm not.
Rachel: [Thinks for a second.] Yeah, that's unlikely. Can you imagine Chandler as a father? [Monica gives her a dirty look.] That was definitely something I shouldn't have said out loud... So... what's the secret. Oooh, Oooh! You're cheating on Chandler!
Monica: Why do you think I'm keeping a secret about Chandler and me?
Rachel: Because the only secret you ever kept from me pertained to the two of you. Well, I've gotta go back... I think Emma needs a nap. But I've got my eyes on you. Monica: Okay, then. [Both exit the bathroom].
Chandler: Hey, honey.
Monica: [goes over and kisses him] Hey. How was your day?
Rachel: [to herself] Yep, there's definitely something going on between them.
[Commercial.]
[Carmine's (Italian Restaurant in NYC). Joey and Grace are sitting down.]
Grace: So, I hear the portions here are huge... they can feed four people. Or, by the way that you eat, you'll only need to two of them.
Joey: So, how you doin'? [Starts feeling embarrassed and hits himself.]
Grace: I'm fine. You?
Joey: How you doin'? [Hits himself again.]
Grace: I said I was fine.
Joey: How you doin'? [Is really embarrassed but can't stop saying it.]
Grace: Joey... you're really starting to creep me out...
Joey: How you doin'?
Grace: [looks at her watch] Y'know what... I'm running... I have to... I'll see you later Joey. [leaves.]
Joey: Chandler is so not God!
[Chandler and Monica's bedroom. Chandler enters and sees Monica standing in lacy lingerie.]
Chandler: Wow, Mon, you look beautiful. I can say that this time, right?
Monica: Yeah. [Chandler starts kissing her and bringing her to the bed. Just as things start to heat up, Monica pulls back.] Chandler, I have to talk to you for a second.
Chandler: Not now.
Monica: Yes, now. [Both sit at the side of the bed.]
Chandler: What's up?
Monica: Um... I... I... Chandler: [jokingly] You're cheating on me with Richard.
Monica: No, of course not... I'm... Chandler... we're having a baby!
Chandler: We're what?
Monica: I'm pregnant! [A smile breaks out across both Monica and Chandler's faces.]
Chandler: I'm going to be a daddy! Woo-hoo! [Starts running out of the bedroom and Monica follows.]
[Ross and Rachel's apartment. They are by the window. Rachel then looks out the window.]
Rachel: Wow, something happy just happened to Chandler and Monica.
Ross: (Looking out the window at Chandler and Monica jumping up and down) Yeah... Ewww... My sister really needs to put on more clothes!
[End Credits.]
[Carmine's. Joey's still sitting at his table, with two huge plates of spaghetti in front of him. Grace is long gone.]
Joey: [to the pasta] So... how you doin'. [Pause.] I really have to stop this.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Blah, blah, blah. This is not for profit. Blah, blah, blah. Enjoy.
THE ONE WITH THE PUMPKIN COSTUME
[Central Perk. Rachel's holding Emma while Monica, Chandler & Phoebe are drinking coffee.]
Rachel: Geez... Emma's been growing out of these clothes like crazy. I mean, you'd think that they'd make baby clothes out of spandex to save us some money.
Chandler: Because clothing companies just LOVE people buying less of their clothes.
Rachel: Well, I need to get Em some more stuff. Hey, Pheebs, Mon, you wanna come shopping with me? I think there's a sale at Macy's.
Phoebe: I boycotted Macy's when they wouldn't let me ring the bell outside their store.
Monica: It wasn't Macy's who wouldn't let you... it was those Salvation Army folks.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I'm boycotting the Salvation Army.
Rachel: Then Macy's it is.
[Opening Credits]
[Joey's Apartment. Joey & Chandler are present.]
Joey: So, Chandler, when you're married, does it feel different?
Chandler: Yeah, all of a sudden, you get all these girly impulses and you start wearing dresses. Oh wait, that's just my father.
Joey: Really.
Chandler: I don't know. Why, Joey? I mean, you're not even seeing anyone right now.
Joey: Y'see, I really like this girl at work, Grace. But I don't know how to get her to like me. You'd think with eight sister's that I'd be quite a ladies man.
Chandler: Wait, you're NOT a ladies man? I mean, how many chicks have you picked up with the [mimicking Joey] "How you doin'"?
Joey: Fifty-seven, but who's counting? Anyways... really, what do girls like?
Chandler: Now that you've considered me an "expert"... wow, I really feel like we're flipping roles... but, um, just don't cheat on her.
Joey: You mean you've never cheated on Mon? [Chandler gives him the look of death.] Man, marriage must suck!
[Macy's. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at clothes in the baby section.]
Phoebe: [picking up a "pumpkin" outfit] Ooh! Ooh! This is cute! Get this! Get this!
Rachel: Pheebs, I think that a Halloween costume.
Phoebe: I never had a Halloween costume. My mom was too busy writing her suicide letter to take me to get a costume.
Rachel: [picking up a crawler] How about this one?
Phoebe: Isn't that a baby costume?
Rachel: No... Emma IS a baby.
[Monica comes up to them with a bag in her hand.]
Phoebe: Mon, what did you buy?
Monica: Oh, nothing.
Rachel: Show me! Show me!
Monica: Nah, that's okay.
Phoebe: Oh, c'mon. [Rachel snatches the bag out of Monica's hand.]
Rachel: Maternity clothes? Y'know, I can wear REGULAR clothes now.
Monica: I got maternity clothes? Oh, my! I was wondering why everything had elastic waistbands. [Quickly takes the bag and leaves. Rachel and Phoebe just brush it off.]
Rachel: So, where were we now?
Phoebe: You just decided that Emma's going to be a pumpkin, not a baby.
[Commercial break.]
[Set for Days of our Lives. Joey approaches a blonde-haired lady who is putting makeup on one of the other actors.]
Joey: Hey Grace.
Grace: Hi Joey. What brings you to the woman's dressing room? [Joey does a double take] Just kidding! You guys fall for it every time.
Joey: So, I wanted to know... are you free Friday night?
Grace: Well, you guys are shooting then, so I think I'll be applying your makeup.
Joey: Oh yeah, well how about Saturday night?
Grace: Um, sure. How about at seven?
Joey: Seven it is. [Leaves] Chandler is god! [realizes what he just said] I never said that.
[Chandler and Monica's. Chandler's sitting on the couch reading the paper. Ross is holding Emma, feeding her a bottle. Phoebe and Rachel enter carrying bags.]
Ross: Hey, you.
Rachel: Hey. Look at all the clothes I got for Emma! There was the greatest sale at Macy's.
Phoebe: Oooh! Oooh! And look what I got! [Pulls out the Pumpkin costume] Isn't it great?
Ross: I think that Emma will have outgrown it by Halloween.
Phoebe: So then let's have a Halloween party here. You know, we can all dress up and take pictures and stuff.
Chandler: If I do remember correctly, some people have been scarred from the last Halloween party.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry if that bunny costume added to your "quality".
Chandler: Wow! We have our own Mr. Hanky right here!
[I hate to interrupt, but y'all know that Mr. Hanky's the talking Christmas poop from South Park, right?] [Joey enters the door.]
Ross: I was Spudnik.
Joey: And I'm the Queen of England.
Chandler: [sarcastically] You're not?
Joey: No. But I did meet the Duchess of York once.
Chandler: We know.
Joey: Anyways, I got the date! I'm going out with Grace tomorrow.
Chandler: That's awesome! I gave some good advice for once! [Chandler gets up and does his happy dance. Everyone just stares at him.] Okay, that dance is really getting old.
[Monica enters the apartment and makes a beeline to the bathroom.]
Joey: What's wrong with her? Give her some bad advice, Chandler? [Chandler makes a face.]
Phoebe: She was acting kinda strange today.
Rachel: And then we just lost her...
Joey: She must be hiding something from us.
Rachel: Monica never keeps any secrets from me... [everyone except Chandler looks at her.] Oh, wait... London, Chandler... she's keeping a secret! [Runs to the bathroom.] Monica! Monica! Open up!
[See Monica in the bathroom holding a used pregnancy test and trying to find a place to put it.]
Monica: One second. [She eventually just gives up and sticks it in her purse, making a disgusted face as she does it. She then opens the door.] Sorry, I just really had to pee.
Rachel: Oh, is that so? Because I didn't hear the toilet flush.
Monica: Our toilet is really quiet.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Are you hiding something from me?
Monica: [Uncomfortably] No... I'm not hiding anything from you... why would you think that?
Rachel: Omigod, you're pregnant!
Monica: No I'm not.
Rachel: [Thinks for a second.] Yeah, that's unlikely. Can you imagine Chandler as a father? [Monica gives her a dirty look.] That was definitely something I shouldn't have said out loud... So... what's the secret. Oooh, Oooh! You're cheating on Chandler!
Monica: Why do you think I'm keeping a secret about Chandler and me?
Rachel: Because the only secret you ever kept from me pertained to the two of you. Well, I've gotta go back... I think Emma needs a nap. But I've got my eyes on you. Monica: Okay, then. [Both exit the bathroom].
Chandler: Hey, honey.
Monica: [goes over and kisses him] Hey. How was your day?
Rachel: [to herself] Yep, there's definitely something going on between them.
[Commercial.]
[Carmine's (Italian Restaurant in NYC). Joey and Grace are sitting down.]
Grace: So, I hear the portions here are huge... they can feed four people. Or, by the way that you eat, you'll only need to two of them.
Joey: So, how you doin'? [Starts feeling embarrassed and hits himself.]
Grace: I'm fine. You?
Joey: How you doin'? [Hits himself again.]
Grace: I said I was fine.
Joey: How you doin'? [Is really embarrassed but can't stop saying it.]
Grace: Joey... you're really starting to creep me out...
Joey: How you doin'?
Grace: [looks at her watch] Y'know what... I'm running... I have to... I'll see you later Joey. [leaves.]
Joey: Chandler is so not God!
[Chandler and Monica's bedroom. Chandler enters and sees Monica standing in lacy lingerie.]
Chandler: Wow, Mon, you look beautiful. I can say that this time, right?
Monica: Yeah. [Chandler starts kissing her and bringing her to the bed. Just as things start to heat up, Monica pulls back.] Chandler, I have to talk to you for a second.
Chandler: Not now.
Monica: Yes, now. [Both sit at the side of the bed.]
Chandler: What's up?
Monica: Um... I... I... Chandler: [jokingly] You're cheating on me with Richard.
Monica: No, of course not... I'm... Chandler... we're having a baby!
Chandler: We're what?
Monica: I'm pregnant! [A smile breaks out across both Monica and Chandler's faces.]
Chandler: I'm going to be a daddy! Woo-hoo! [Starts running out of the bedroom and Monica follows.]
[Ross and Rachel's apartment. They are by the window. Rachel then looks out the window.]
Rachel: Wow, something happy just happened to Chandler and Monica.
Ross: (Looking out the window at Chandler and Monica jumping up and down) Yeah... Ewww... My sister really needs to put on more clothes!
[End Credits.]
[Carmine's. Joey's still sitting at his table, with two huge plates of spaghetti in front of him. Grace is long gone.]
Joey: [to the pasta] So... how you doin'. [Pause.] I really have to stop this.