Title:               The Song Stays the Same

Summary:       Does Buffy confront Spike?  Not just yet.  Then what the hell is going on?

Spoilers:         Post "As You Were"; "Hell's Bells" and "Normal Again" didn't happen and won't.

Pairing:           Who do you think?

Rating:            R, for language.

Disclaimer:     You know the deal.  Even though I wish I owned Spike, I own nothing.  All belongs to Joss.  I just play.  Lyrics to "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns 'N Roses; Lyrics to "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd

Buffy's mind was working overtime.  She was standing just outside of Reno's, looking at the big double door entrance.  Seeing Spike last night was a shock.  Did he really move on already?  I haven't even talked to him yet.  I could be mistaken.  I probably just overreacted a little.  They did seem awfully cuddly though.  She decided there was only one way to find out the truth.  Sit at the bar and wait to see if he showed up so she could talk to him.  But why was she so worried about it?  She didn't love him……

You felt something last night.

Not love.

Not yet.

…… did she?  She didn't know.  But if she didn't love him, then why did she react the way she did when she found out the left?  Why did she follow him to LA?  And why was she so worried that he didn't love her anymore?  She hadn't really felt in such a long time.  Over the past few months, all she felt was hurt and anger.  She didn't know anything else.  Except for those times when she was with Spike.  He made her feel…. all these other emotions and feelings that she couldn't decipher and didn't know how to express anymore.  She didn't understand what was going on.   

She shook her head as if that would clear her mind.  Nothing's gonna get accomplished if I stand out here and dwell on it all night, Buffy thought.  She took a deep breath and went inside. 

She took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink.  "Shot of tequila and an amaretto on the rocks."  The shot was to calm her nerves.  The amaretto was just for fun.

Buffy scanned the bar.  It was a nice looking place, with booths and tables surrounding a dance floor.  There was also a stage set up for bands or karaoke.  Everything was in black with purple trimmings.  Even the bar had purple neon lights outlining it.  What she noticed the most, though, was the blond haired vampire already there with the black haired lady.  So much for waiting to see if he shows up, she thought wryly.    

They were seated in a booth by the side of the stage, far enough away so that Buffy hide by the bar without them noticing her.  The girl was setting up three shot glasses in front of each of them.  What are they doing, she thought.  Playing drinking games??   The girl poured something, possibly Vodka since it was clear, folded her arms, and sat back against her seat.

                                                            *****

"Okay, guy," Cecelia said.  "Whoever finishes their shots first wins."

"And the loser," Spike asked.

"The loser has to go sing in front of the entire bar."

"Fucking karaoke again?  That singing shit always gets me in trouble!"

"What's the matter, William?  'Fraid you're gonna lose," she teased.

"Hey, no one can drink this Big Bad under the table!  Let's go!"

"On three…. Ready?  One, Two…. Three!"

Buffy watched with amazement as Cecelia proceeded to finish her shots faster than Spike.  How the hell did she do that?

"How the hell did you do that," Spike asked, bewildered.  "Me, vampire.  You, human.  That's just….. not possible.  Super speed an' all."

"I've had lots of practice.  I did go to bars quite a bit before you showed up, ya know," she replied with a twinkle in her eye.  "Now go sing!"

"Bloody hell," he muttered, grinning to himself as he headed towards the stage.

                                                            *****

"Uh… Evenin' ladies and gents.  The name's Spike.  I just lost a bet and getting up here and signin' in front of the lot of you is my punishment."

The crowd started to laugh at him.  He grinned.  Getting up on stage was actually no problem for him at all.  He had a great voice and loved to show off.  Performing was fun.

"Anyways, this song is going out to a very special lady in the corner over there.  Helping me get through a pretty tough time.  So, Cecelia Lantham," he said, punching in some numbers on the machine, "this is for you."

 She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long, I'd probably break down and cry

Whoa Whoa Whoa Sweet child o' mine

Oh Oh Oh Oh Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies

And if they thought of rain

I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain

To quietly pass me by

Whoa Whoa Whoa Sweet child o' mine

Oh Oh Oh Oh Sweet love of mine

Where do we go?

Where do we go now

Where do we go

Sweet child o' mine

                                                            *****

"Miss, are you okay?"

Buffy looked at the bartender like he had two heads.  "What?"

"Your hands.  Are you cut?"

She looked down.  She had gripped the glass so hard while she was focusing on Spike that it had broken.  Not having luck with glasses am I, she thought.  Laying the pieces on the bar, she said, "Oh.  No, I'm okay.  Sorry 'bout the glass."

"No big deal.  Let me get you some napkins."

 She looked back at Spike.  So it was true then.  He didn't love her anymore.

                                                            *****

As he finished up the song, Spike's hearing picked up a sound, something like glass breaking by the bar.  Christ, don't tell me my singing started a damn bar fight, he thought. I'm not a bad singer!

When he looked up, he froze.  He watched as Buffy tried to clean up the mess she made.  I guess I wasn't hallucinating last night.   Then the hurt and anger came.  She wanted me to go; she wanted me to leave her alone!  What the hell does she want from me?

"Hey everybody," Spike said to the crowd.  "I've got one more song to sing and it's for another very special lady."

He punched in some more numbers on the machine.  "Let's just see if this helps her hurry back to Sunnyhell," he muttered to himself. 

Met a girl, thought she was grand
Fell in love, found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued
In a trapped trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fucking hates me… Trust
She fucking hates me…la la la la
I tried too hard
And she tore my feelings like I had none
And ripped them away
She was queen for about an hour
After that shit got sour
She took all I ever had
No sign of guilt
No feeling of bad, no
In a trapped trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
That's my story, as you see
Learned my lesson and so did she
Now it's over and I'm glad
'Cause I'm a fool for all I've said
la la la la la la la la la la
Trust
la la la la la la la la la la
Trust
And she tore my feelings like I had none
She fucking hates me

Buffy's head whipped up to see Spike staring right at her as he sang.  Again.  How could he say such horrible things about her?  Did he really think of her that way?  Was she really that heartless and cruel?  She was, wasn't she?  Always physically abusing him.  That probably wasn't half as bad as the verbal abuse, though.  When it came to words, she could be downright evil.

She tried to yell out that she didn't hate him.  That she was sorry for ever hurting him.  That she wanted him to come back to Sunnydale.  But she couldn't get the words out.  All that came out was a pathetic little squeak.  Once again she felt that now familiar pain in her chest.  She slowly turned and walked out. 

Who's love's bitch now, she thought as a single tear slid down her cheek.

                                                            *****

"She was here, William."  It wasn't a question. 

Spike sighed as he slipped back into his and Cecelia's booth.  "Yeah."

"And why did you do that to her?"

"Why?  Because even though I love her with all I've got, I want her to hurt like I hurt.  I know it's wrong, but I can't help it."

"That's cruel and selfish, William.  She's obviously in LA for a reason.  Like maybe to talk to you?"

"For what?  To tell me she loves me, finally?  Ha!" he said bitterly.  "She was probably looking for some cold comfort and after she got it, she'd go right back to treating me like shit."

"And she traveled all this way just for sex?  I don't think so."

"I don't care anymore."  He slammed his hand on the table.  "I was doing just fine by my damn self!"

Cecelia laughed softly.  "'Doing just fine'?  I don't think so.  Keep in mind who you're talking to.  I can see things remember? You've been miserable almost the whole time you've been here."

Spike put his head down on the table, defeated.  "God, Cecelia, she's just hurt me so much.  I can't take more of it.  I can't let her back in."  He sighed.  "Hopefully she's on her way back to Sunnydale now."

Cecelia had a funny feeling things weren't quite over yet.  She put her hand on his head and smiled gently.  Oh William, she thought.  What if she's finally let you in?

End Part 7

TBC

*  Sorry it took so long to update.  Had a lot of schoolwork to do.  Anyway, I'm thinking maybe 3 more parts then I'm done!  Then what am I going to do?  LOL  *