(EDITOR: Haven't seen much in the way of reviews, but that could be since fanfiction.net has been down a lot as of late. I've finally finished Chapter 7, so I'm drawing near the end of the story. I'll keep releasing these on a regular basis, every few days. I hope that you are enjoying the ride. It's not hilarious or anything, but hey, maybe you'll chuckle once or twice, especially since Phil owes you a dance...well, technically not, but just see what happens.)
Reality Bites
Chapter 4: Phil's Underpants Dance
"Boobies, I'm back!" Just then, to the ducks' surprise, Phil came in, sporting his cell phone and newly pressed business suit.
"Phil...perfect timing! We need you to get Nosedive's contract."
"Why?"
"Phil, man, don't ask questions! They're going to take me away and put the stripes on Wing!"
"But, it's on the contract. They can't do that."
"Our copy seems to have been tampered with." Tanya frowned, readjusting her glasses in awkward embarrassment. The Drake One was her computer; it had always solved problems in the past without incident. Nosedive seemed to have picked up on Tanya's shamefulness.
"Don't worry Tauny! We'll get this settled and by lunchtime!" Nosedive walked towards Phil, who now started out the door. Wildwing turned around to Grin, the silent giant who had been following wordlessly throughout the whole ordeal.
"Can you stay here with Mallory?"
"I shall be happy to aid my fellow duck."
"Uh...great. We'll be back soon." Wildwing headed out after the group, Phil marching to his car, a truculent look burning in his pupils. "Nobody messes with my ducks!" he swung his fists in the air as if to challenge the world. If anyone tried to mess with his boobies (beside himself), they'd have another thing coming. The four ducks and Phil were tightly compressed in his compact car. Wildwing's large frame made it especially trialsome to squeeze in back with Nosedive and Duke. Tanya escaped the bodily carnage and sat up in front, trying to slide in the car and make room through all the promotional pamphlets and papers. "I guess he does do some work..." Tanya thought to herself as she eyed a contract for a bird food appearance next month.
"Let's go!" Phil buckled the seat belt and took off towards his home, where the extra contract was kept. Ironically, the elegant apartment building was in plain view of the Pond, translating into a short drive. Passing the front desk and intimidating the guard with the appearance of several large avian bodyguards, Phil took the elevator up to his apartment. Heading inside, the smell of spaghetti TV dinners and crisp, new papers lingered over the interior. Out of the main window was the sight of the Pond, the ducks stopping momentarily to admire the view before following Phil back into his bedroom. Posters of the Mighty Ducks were plastered all around the wall, piles of contracts and papers were littered across a half dozen filing cabinets. Phil advanced right up to a picture of the team, yanking it down to reveal a safe in the wall. Fiddling with the lock for a while under the watchful eyes of the others, a brief pang of relief echoed throughout the room when Phil successfully opened the safe. Six folders were inside, each with their own bundle of papers. He brushed off a nearby table, the ducks gathering around as he plopped down the contracts, finding the folder with Nosedive's name on it and opening it up, staring down the pages until he reached the clause. He began to mumble various words off the page before jumping up with a triumphant smile on his face.
"A-ha! It says right here. Phil Palmfeather, manager of one, Nosedive Flashblade, is therefore appointed guardianship under the laws of the city of Anaheim and the state of California until the minor is of eighteen years of age." The portly man received a look of condemnation from Wildwing and a look of surprise and an amused smile from Nosedive.
"What do I say...Daddy!" Nosedive came up to give Phil a playful hug, the manager backing up, after seeing Wildwing grew more displeased.
"Uhhh...what's wrong? I told you I'd take care of it!" the attention turning to Wildwing, his arms crossed and his glare continuing to crucify Phil.
"Well, for starters, I thought I was supposed to be Nosedive's guardian..."
"Booby, I didn't know at the time...besides, I get tax benefits for it!"
"WHAT!? You're using my brother for your own benefits!?"
"Hey, I spent that money on stuff for you guys."
"Like what?"
"Well...uh, remember when I ordered pizza a few months ago..."
"Phil!" the manager gave a timorous smile and backed up, Nosedive watching the scene with quiet enjoyment. Soon, he wanted to join in the fun and decided to add to the conversation.
"So, Wing, I guess this means I don't listen to you anymore."
"You wanna bet?"
"Sure...Daddy Phil, so what are you going to do about that big bald eagle over there?" Nosedive acted like a child, hanging his beak over the shoulder of Phil's timid composure and giving a playful grin as he stood behind his human shield.
"I'm not bald!" Wildwing retorted, stepping forward. Phil felt himself sandwiched and tried to barrel out, yet Nosedive held onto him.
"Well, let's ask Daddy here."
"Quit calling me that...I sue you for slander!" Phil quipped, backing up, adjusting his tie, drawing small chuckles from the other ducks. Nosedive pretended to be devastated.
"Oh Wing...my adoptive father, giving up on me..." he fell over, Wildwing catching him and standing the teen back up.
"Geez..." the white mallard muttered, then looking back to Phil. "First thing tomorrow, you get that contract amended."
"Why? I like having Phil as my dad..."
"Dive..." the elder brotherly tone was enough to quell the teen's mock protests. Nosedive folded his arms, turning his attention back to the manager, now continuing to dig through the clauses, his large finger plopping down and sliding through endless lines of small print, and soon paused to read another portion.
"These ducks, noted as legal aliens of another planet, are therefore not guaranteed the same laws and regulations that humans abide by. These beings shall follow the laws to promote safety among their fellow citizens, however..." Phil began to look through the proceeded list, scrolling his finger down to the sixteenth statement.
"Because of dangerous nature of their profession and the charge of defending our world against intergalactic criminals, the city, state, and country doesn't have the authority to declare criminal charges against the ducks that amount to property damage, assault, or reckless endangerment unless specifically performed without merit."
"See, there it is!" Nosedive cheered, jumping up and down while the others watched him merrily. "Phil-meister, you saved Wing too!"
"Yup...I know I'm the best manager ever!" Phil grabbed his coat and flashed his full set of teeth, glistening in the late morning sun.
"Yeah...Dad."
"Stop that!"
"Well, personally, I'd beg to differ..." Wildwing started to beleaguer Phil's celebratory moment with an objection, but he softened up. "...but, I have to hand it to you. You really took care of the contracts...except for the guardianship issue. Good job Phil."
"Yeah, I'm kind of...you know, impressed." Tanya said, now investigating her own contract and studying the fine print.
"Did you write these yourself?" Duke asked, scanned over the clauses in Nosedive's opened contract.
"Well, sort of..." Phil started, but quickly trying to dismiss it so he wouldn't have to admit he had help. "Let's go get this settled! No one tries to incarcerate my boobies...it makes the value of your collectable cards go down!"
"Let that be a lesson to you Dive when I tell you to clean your room." Wildwing smiled, gently tapping the folder on Nosedive's head. The younger mallard was about to protest, but sensing a rebuttal, Wildwing clamped his brother's beak and eyed him contently. "Hey, you should listen to your older brother anyway. And tomorrow, after I'm listed as your legal guardian, I'm going to practice a little discipline for the bald comment..." Nosedive gave a nervous gulp as they left for the Social Services office.
"Wait a sec! That's not fair...they're solving the problem!" Chameleon complained as he threw his candy bar at the screen in protest.
"Well, what do you suppose we should do about it? It is reality based."
"How about they lose it?"
"Hmmm, maybe you got a plan there...but the problem is that the ducks are holding onto the briefcase. There wouldn't be an opportunity to snatch it."
"Hey, why don't I get in on the action? It's about time I have some fun...I'll take the briefcase."
"Ha ha, didn't I tell you that you were a great supporting character?"
"Let's go!" Chameleon snatched his transporter and quickly ran down into the hallway to the robot production line. He knew that with a small contingency of robotic drones that he could keep the ducks distracted long enough to snatch the prize. Activating the half dozen remaining among the dusty conveyor belts, he saw the head on the adjacent wall.
"Hey, Greeny!"
"What?"
"Make sure the ducks don't see you or the robots. They will know Draguanus is back and they will definitely come after you."
"Got a plan?"
"Sort of...we need some camouflage..."
Phil's car floundered down the highway, striving towards the Social Services Building in order to clear up their situation. Wildwing held onto the briefcase tightly, refusing to let it go for anything since it meant the team had to give up her brother and he would be facing charges and jail time. It didn't seem possible that the same ducks that had sunk and destroyed Dragunaus' ship was now facing the conflicts of a over-inflated bureaucracy. Nevertheless, he sighed as he patted the briefcase, holding the set of documents that would free them from this nightmare. All of a sudden, Tanya started to stir in her seat, her attention turned out the window.
"Guys, that building is on fire!"
"What?!" Wildwing's face glanced out the window. Sure enough, in the distance, an older brick building was blazing from the center floors, belching heavy smoke that clouded the sight of frantic people, trapped on the roof.
"Let's go!" Duke demanded, prompting Phil to take the next exit and speed down the street, nearly missing a bus and a convertible. Parking a block away along the street, and facing harassment by the convertible driver, the ducks piled out and took off towards the blaze, switching into battle gear on the way down.
"Protect that briefcase with your life, Phil!" Wildwing shouted as he led the charge towards the building. Phil nodded, grabbing it out of the back seat, and setting it next to him.
Wildwing put on the mask and looked to the roof of the building. "There are seven people up there."
"I think I got a plan." Tanya added, activating her Omni-tool and pointing it at the waves of fire. "I got a couple foam bombs that will temporary fight back the fire. Meanwhile, you can get to the roof and rescue the people!"
"Roger! Let's go team!" Wildwing led the way, Duke and Nosedive right behind. Tanya fired the bomb, an explosion of white foam fizzled noisily from a couple of windows, the fire temporarily retreating to the interior of the structure. The three ducks shot pucks up the side of the building, barreling into the wall, blasting down lines for each of them. Quickly scaling up the building, avoiding prolonged foot contact with the burning brick wall, each did a flip up to the top of the building, instantly greeted by the hysterical audience, jumping into their arms.
"Whoa, calm down!" Nosedive exclaimed, almost loosing his balance as two women jumped onto him, screaming in fear and the excitement in recognizing the hockey player.
"Alright, activate the skates! This is gonna be risky!" Wildwing shouted to the others, three of the seven holding on to his neck and shoulders. Looking down the side of the building, the blaze was already protruding from the windows. Duke waved a hand to Tanya, signaling her to shoot the second foam bomb.
Chameleon was overlooking the chaos from a building across the street and saw the female about to use her Omni-tool again. The saurian didn't want to make it that easy for the ducks, especially since the robot drones weren't done snatching the briefcase yet. Taking a careful shot of his laser pistol, he managed to intercept the foam bomb with a blast as it sped to the building, flying off towards the side and exploding in a ball of white foam. Tanya cursed as she spun her head in the direction of the shot, unable to see Chameleon, who had ducked out of view. The other ducks grew concerned and tried to locate the assailant, but instead, found their immediate attention back to the frightened people in their arms.
"Obviously, we need a new plan..." Duke mentioned as he leaped back a bit. The fire was beginning to creep up over the edge.
"It's time for a little pro-fess-iol skating!" Nosedive activated his blades, drawing tighter grips from the women. Skating in a circle to pick up the speed, he headed straight to the edge of the building, leaping over the edge, a pair of terrified screams accompanied the teen as he grabbed a lamppost below, flipping in midair as he made a hard landing. The girls jumped off of him, their ruckus running in harmony with Nosedive's painful groan, his feet throbbing in pain from the landing.
"Dang that kid. Such a risk taker."
"I know, but guess we have to follow his example." Wildwing and Duke both activated their skates, flying off the buildings mere seconds before the flames licked the roof in ravenous delight. Duke and Wildwing managed to catch the lamppost, Duke opting to slide down while Wildwing making a hard landing like his brother. They had managed to save the crowd of people, drawing applause out of the neighboring apartment buildings and the pedestrians. The fire truck approached in a flurry down the street as the four ducks headed back down to the car.
"Who fired that shot Tanya?"
"Well, I...uh...don't know."
"Could have been Draguanus?"
"Draggy, back already?"
"Hmmm...it's not his style." Duke said, his eyes all of a sudden falling on the car, the driver's door ripped asunder and Phil was laying on the ground unconscious. Little attention was given to the man by the bystanders because of the fire in the distance.
"Phil! Phil!" Wildwing rushed up to help him, the others gathering around. Nosedive's let out a stifled gasp as he searched through the car tumultuously ravishing through every square inch, drawing a worried glance from Duke and then Wildwing, after Tanya had taken over supervision of Phil.
"It's gone, Wing, it's gone!" Nosedive jumped out, the beads of sweat on his forehead wiped off viciously as he felt his nerves grow alarmingly jumpy. Duke looked around inside the car while Wildwing circled the perimeter.
"I can't believe this...who could have taken it?!" Duke clamored, leaping out of the car and standing with Nosedive. Wildwing took off the mask, a concerned look dotting his face.
"Help! Underwear monsters!" Phil began to shout, growing delirious as he slowly came back into consciousness. Tanya had to calm him down for a couple minutes before he finally became coherent. Wildwing, somewhat insensitively, tried to grill him for answers as soon as his eyes grew focused on the blonde female.
"What happened?!" Wildwing demanded, moving next to Tanya, his powerful stature asserting its dominance over the obese man at his feet. Phil stuttered for a minute before Nosedive and Duke helped him up, leaning on the side of the car as his heavy breathing lightened up.
"UNDERWEAR MONSTERS ATTACKED ME!!!"
"What the heck?"
"These giant guys covered in underwear came and knocked me out..." Phil slowly began to turn around, to see his car totaled. "My car! Those Fruit of the Loom rejects blew up my car! I still got payments due!!!"
"Relax Phil..."
"Don't you tell me to relax!" the chubby manager took off his tie and tied it around his head like a headband.
"It's ninja Phil..." Nosedive started, remembering the last time he donned the makeshift bandana. Phil was magically impaired and trying to run the ducks to the death thanks to the work of Wraith. It was all fresh in their minds.
"NO ONE, especially monsters dressed in Hanes underwear, is going to get away with pulling one over Phil Palmfeather!"
"Pull one over...like in a wedgie?" Nosedive received a dissatisfied glance from the other ducks. "Sorry."
"Ok, so what do we do?" Duke crossed his arms, eyeing Wildwing for his orders.
"Well, I took the precaution of putting a homing beacon in the briefcase." Tanya gave the team a small, prideful grin. As expected, the praise from the others succeeded the revelation.
"Tanya, that was great thinking." Wildwing gave her an approving nod.
"Man, don't you love these successful plot twists in our favor!?" Nosedive beamed, giving a small cheer at the thought of some action and the reclamation of his contract. "What a day!"
"So, sweetheart, where is it?" Duke crossed his arms, optimistic in tone.
"Well...uh, let me see here..." Tanya pressed a few buttons on her com, resulting in a steady beeping. The other ducks soon activated their coms to see the same visual. "It appears that it is...over there!" Tanya's pointing hand shot out in the direction of the brick building down the street, where the stray shot earlier had originated.
Chameleon was peeking over the frame of a window, seeing Tanya pointing to his position and the other ducks beginning to run for the building. Fumbling with the briefcase, he gave a small sound, something resembling an "eep", when the head suddenly materialized on the wall across the room.
"Did I scare ya?"
"Yeah, a bit." Beads of sweat began to form along the scaly skin on Chameleon's forehead as he looked out the window.
"Great plan. Covering the robots in underwear...brilliant."
"Well, Siege never wears them, but he'll kill me if he found out." Chameleon continued to seem edgy, now giving a small dance with his feet in a nervous twitch.
"Hey, Man, what's wrong?"
"The ducks are coming!"
"Well, don't just sit there, dude! Do something!"
"You do something! This was your idea!" Chameleon pouted, flailing his arms about in a panic as he heard rapid footsteps climbing up the stairs.
"Warp back to the Raptor."
"And bring the ducks to Draguanus?! He'd have my head!"
"Ok...fine, so we got four angry ducks and their bloated manager coming through the door in 12.6 seconds. We can work with that..." Chameleon gasped as he heard the footsteps grow louder and more intense. Shocking the saurian, the door slammed shut on its own, the lock turning. The head flashed a smile, shifting to the floor and illuminating a dark hallway leading to another corner of the building.
"This way...hurry!" the head began swimming along the rickety wooden floorboards, lighting the way for the saurian, which had heard the footsteps stop at the door. He was down the hall, turning a corner as he heard a puck blast and the sound of debris scattering along the ground...
(Yeah, it's a cliffhanger, but hey, who said life was fair? Anyway, next time, find out if Chameleon succeeds and the Mighty Ducks even learn the finer points of Anaheim's wonderful public transit system...well, I don't know if it's great, but hey, why not? Next time is Chapter 5, Duck Dues and the Bus Blues.)
Reality Bites
Chapter 4: Phil's Underpants Dance
"Boobies, I'm back!" Just then, to the ducks' surprise, Phil came in, sporting his cell phone and newly pressed business suit.
"Phil...perfect timing! We need you to get Nosedive's contract."
"Why?"
"Phil, man, don't ask questions! They're going to take me away and put the stripes on Wing!"
"But, it's on the contract. They can't do that."
"Our copy seems to have been tampered with." Tanya frowned, readjusting her glasses in awkward embarrassment. The Drake One was her computer; it had always solved problems in the past without incident. Nosedive seemed to have picked up on Tanya's shamefulness.
"Don't worry Tauny! We'll get this settled and by lunchtime!" Nosedive walked towards Phil, who now started out the door. Wildwing turned around to Grin, the silent giant who had been following wordlessly throughout the whole ordeal.
"Can you stay here with Mallory?"
"I shall be happy to aid my fellow duck."
"Uh...great. We'll be back soon." Wildwing headed out after the group, Phil marching to his car, a truculent look burning in his pupils. "Nobody messes with my ducks!" he swung his fists in the air as if to challenge the world. If anyone tried to mess with his boobies (beside himself), they'd have another thing coming. The four ducks and Phil were tightly compressed in his compact car. Wildwing's large frame made it especially trialsome to squeeze in back with Nosedive and Duke. Tanya escaped the bodily carnage and sat up in front, trying to slide in the car and make room through all the promotional pamphlets and papers. "I guess he does do some work..." Tanya thought to herself as she eyed a contract for a bird food appearance next month.
"Let's go!" Phil buckled the seat belt and took off towards his home, where the extra contract was kept. Ironically, the elegant apartment building was in plain view of the Pond, translating into a short drive. Passing the front desk and intimidating the guard with the appearance of several large avian bodyguards, Phil took the elevator up to his apartment. Heading inside, the smell of spaghetti TV dinners and crisp, new papers lingered over the interior. Out of the main window was the sight of the Pond, the ducks stopping momentarily to admire the view before following Phil back into his bedroom. Posters of the Mighty Ducks were plastered all around the wall, piles of contracts and papers were littered across a half dozen filing cabinets. Phil advanced right up to a picture of the team, yanking it down to reveal a safe in the wall. Fiddling with the lock for a while under the watchful eyes of the others, a brief pang of relief echoed throughout the room when Phil successfully opened the safe. Six folders were inside, each with their own bundle of papers. He brushed off a nearby table, the ducks gathering around as he plopped down the contracts, finding the folder with Nosedive's name on it and opening it up, staring down the pages until he reached the clause. He began to mumble various words off the page before jumping up with a triumphant smile on his face.
"A-ha! It says right here. Phil Palmfeather, manager of one, Nosedive Flashblade, is therefore appointed guardianship under the laws of the city of Anaheim and the state of California until the minor is of eighteen years of age." The portly man received a look of condemnation from Wildwing and a look of surprise and an amused smile from Nosedive.
"What do I say...Daddy!" Nosedive came up to give Phil a playful hug, the manager backing up, after seeing Wildwing grew more displeased.
"Uhhh...what's wrong? I told you I'd take care of it!" the attention turning to Wildwing, his arms crossed and his glare continuing to crucify Phil.
"Well, for starters, I thought I was supposed to be Nosedive's guardian..."
"Booby, I didn't know at the time...besides, I get tax benefits for it!"
"WHAT!? You're using my brother for your own benefits!?"
"Hey, I spent that money on stuff for you guys."
"Like what?"
"Well...uh, remember when I ordered pizza a few months ago..."
"Phil!" the manager gave a timorous smile and backed up, Nosedive watching the scene with quiet enjoyment. Soon, he wanted to join in the fun and decided to add to the conversation.
"So, Wing, I guess this means I don't listen to you anymore."
"You wanna bet?"
"Sure...Daddy Phil, so what are you going to do about that big bald eagle over there?" Nosedive acted like a child, hanging his beak over the shoulder of Phil's timid composure and giving a playful grin as he stood behind his human shield.
"I'm not bald!" Wildwing retorted, stepping forward. Phil felt himself sandwiched and tried to barrel out, yet Nosedive held onto him.
"Well, let's ask Daddy here."
"Quit calling me that...I sue you for slander!" Phil quipped, backing up, adjusting his tie, drawing small chuckles from the other ducks. Nosedive pretended to be devastated.
"Oh Wing...my adoptive father, giving up on me..." he fell over, Wildwing catching him and standing the teen back up.
"Geez..." the white mallard muttered, then looking back to Phil. "First thing tomorrow, you get that contract amended."
"Why? I like having Phil as my dad..."
"Dive..." the elder brotherly tone was enough to quell the teen's mock protests. Nosedive folded his arms, turning his attention back to the manager, now continuing to dig through the clauses, his large finger plopping down and sliding through endless lines of small print, and soon paused to read another portion.
"These ducks, noted as legal aliens of another planet, are therefore not guaranteed the same laws and regulations that humans abide by. These beings shall follow the laws to promote safety among their fellow citizens, however..." Phil began to look through the proceeded list, scrolling his finger down to the sixteenth statement.
"Because of dangerous nature of their profession and the charge of defending our world against intergalactic criminals, the city, state, and country doesn't have the authority to declare criminal charges against the ducks that amount to property damage, assault, or reckless endangerment unless specifically performed without merit."
"See, there it is!" Nosedive cheered, jumping up and down while the others watched him merrily. "Phil-meister, you saved Wing too!"
"Yup...I know I'm the best manager ever!" Phil grabbed his coat and flashed his full set of teeth, glistening in the late morning sun.
"Yeah...Dad."
"Stop that!"
"Well, personally, I'd beg to differ..." Wildwing started to beleaguer Phil's celebratory moment with an objection, but he softened up. "...but, I have to hand it to you. You really took care of the contracts...except for the guardianship issue. Good job Phil."
"Yeah, I'm kind of...you know, impressed." Tanya said, now investigating her own contract and studying the fine print.
"Did you write these yourself?" Duke asked, scanned over the clauses in Nosedive's opened contract.
"Well, sort of..." Phil started, but quickly trying to dismiss it so he wouldn't have to admit he had help. "Let's go get this settled! No one tries to incarcerate my boobies...it makes the value of your collectable cards go down!"
"Let that be a lesson to you Dive when I tell you to clean your room." Wildwing smiled, gently tapping the folder on Nosedive's head. The younger mallard was about to protest, but sensing a rebuttal, Wildwing clamped his brother's beak and eyed him contently. "Hey, you should listen to your older brother anyway. And tomorrow, after I'm listed as your legal guardian, I'm going to practice a little discipline for the bald comment..." Nosedive gave a nervous gulp as they left for the Social Services office.
"Wait a sec! That's not fair...they're solving the problem!" Chameleon complained as he threw his candy bar at the screen in protest.
"Well, what do you suppose we should do about it? It is reality based."
"How about they lose it?"
"Hmmm, maybe you got a plan there...but the problem is that the ducks are holding onto the briefcase. There wouldn't be an opportunity to snatch it."
"Hey, why don't I get in on the action? It's about time I have some fun...I'll take the briefcase."
"Ha ha, didn't I tell you that you were a great supporting character?"
"Let's go!" Chameleon snatched his transporter and quickly ran down into the hallway to the robot production line. He knew that with a small contingency of robotic drones that he could keep the ducks distracted long enough to snatch the prize. Activating the half dozen remaining among the dusty conveyor belts, he saw the head on the adjacent wall.
"Hey, Greeny!"
"What?"
"Make sure the ducks don't see you or the robots. They will know Draguanus is back and they will definitely come after you."
"Got a plan?"
"Sort of...we need some camouflage..."
Phil's car floundered down the highway, striving towards the Social Services Building in order to clear up their situation. Wildwing held onto the briefcase tightly, refusing to let it go for anything since it meant the team had to give up her brother and he would be facing charges and jail time. It didn't seem possible that the same ducks that had sunk and destroyed Dragunaus' ship was now facing the conflicts of a over-inflated bureaucracy. Nevertheless, he sighed as he patted the briefcase, holding the set of documents that would free them from this nightmare. All of a sudden, Tanya started to stir in her seat, her attention turned out the window.
"Guys, that building is on fire!"
"What?!" Wildwing's face glanced out the window. Sure enough, in the distance, an older brick building was blazing from the center floors, belching heavy smoke that clouded the sight of frantic people, trapped on the roof.
"Let's go!" Duke demanded, prompting Phil to take the next exit and speed down the street, nearly missing a bus and a convertible. Parking a block away along the street, and facing harassment by the convertible driver, the ducks piled out and took off towards the blaze, switching into battle gear on the way down.
"Protect that briefcase with your life, Phil!" Wildwing shouted as he led the charge towards the building. Phil nodded, grabbing it out of the back seat, and setting it next to him.
Wildwing put on the mask and looked to the roof of the building. "There are seven people up there."
"I think I got a plan." Tanya added, activating her Omni-tool and pointing it at the waves of fire. "I got a couple foam bombs that will temporary fight back the fire. Meanwhile, you can get to the roof and rescue the people!"
"Roger! Let's go team!" Wildwing led the way, Duke and Nosedive right behind. Tanya fired the bomb, an explosion of white foam fizzled noisily from a couple of windows, the fire temporarily retreating to the interior of the structure. The three ducks shot pucks up the side of the building, barreling into the wall, blasting down lines for each of them. Quickly scaling up the building, avoiding prolonged foot contact with the burning brick wall, each did a flip up to the top of the building, instantly greeted by the hysterical audience, jumping into their arms.
"Whoa, calm down!" Nosedive exclaimed, almost loosing his balance as two women jumped onto him, screaming in fear and the excitement in recognizing the hockey player.
"Alright, activate the skates! This is gonna be risky!" Wildwing shouted to the others, three of the seven holding on to his neck and shoulders. Looking down the side of the building, the blaze was already protruding from the windows. Duke waved a hand to Tanya, signaling her to shoot the second foam bomb.
Chameleon was overlooking the chaos from a building across the street and saw the female about to use her Omni-tool again. The saurian didn't want to make it that easy for the ducks, especially since the robot drones weren't done snatching the briefcase yet. Taking a careful shot of his laser pistol, he managed to intercept the foam bomb with a blast as it sped to the building, flying off towards the side and exploding in a ball of white foam. Tanya cursed as she spun her head in the direction of the shot, unable to see Chameleon, who had ducked out of view. The other ducks grew concerned and tried to locate the assailant, but instead, found their immediate attention back to the frightened people in their arms.
"Obviously, we need a new plan..." Duke mentioned as he leaped back a bit. The fire was beginning to creep up over the edge.
"It's time for a little pro-fess-iol skating!" Nosedive activated his blades, drawing tighter grips from the women. Skating in a circle to pick up the speed, he headed straight to the edge of the building, leaping over the edge, a pair of terrified screams accompanied the teen as he grabbed a lamppost below, flipping in midair as he made a hard landing. The girls jumped off of him, their ruckus running in harmony with Nosedive's painful groan, his feet throbbing in pain from the landing.
"Dang that kid. Such a risk taker."
"I know, but guess we have to follow his example." Wildwing and Duke both activated their skates, flying off the buildings mere seconds before the flames licked the roof in ravenous delight. Duke and Wildwing managed to catch the lamppost, Duke opting to slide down while Wildwing making a hard landing like his brother. They had managed to save the crowd of people, drawing applause out of the neighboring apartment buildings and the pedestrians. The fire truck approached in a flurry down the street as the four ducks headed back down to the car.
"Who fired that shot Tanya?"
"Well, I...uh...don't know."
"Could have been Draguanus?"
"Draggy, back already?"
"Hmmm...it's not his style." Duke said, his eyes all of a sudden falling on the car, the driver's door ripped asunder and Phil was laying on the ground unconscious. Little attention was given to the man by the bystanders because of the fire in the distance.
"Phil! Phil!" Wildwing rushed up to help him, the others gathering around. Nosedive's let out a stifled gasp as he searched through the car tumultuously ravishing through every square inch, drawing a worried glance from Duke and then Wildwing, after Tanya had taken over supervision of Phil.
"It's gone, Wing, it's gone!" Nosedive jumped out, the beads of sweat on his forehead wiped off viciously as he felt his nerves grow alarmingly jumpy. Duke looked around inside the car while Wildwing circled the perimeter.
"I can't believe this...who could have taken it?!" Duke clamored, leaping out of the car and standing with Nosedive. Wildwing took off the mask, a concerned look dotting his face.
"Help! Underwear monsters!" Phil began to shout, growing delirious as he slowly came back into consciousness. Tanya had to calm him down for a couple minutes before he finally became coherent. Wildwing, somewhat insensitively, tried to grill him for answers as soon as his eyes grew focused on the blonde female.
"What happened?!" Wildwing demanded, moving next to Tanya, his powerful stature asserting its dominance over the obese man at his feet. Phil stuttered for a minute before Nosedive and Duke helped him up, leaning on the side of the car as his heavy breathing lightened up.
"UNDERWEAR MONSTERS ATTACKED ME!!!"
"What the heck?"
"These giant guys covered in underwear came and knocked me out..." Phil slowly began to turn around, to see his car totaled. "My car! Those Fruit of the Loom rejects blew up my car! I still got payments due!!!"
"Relax Phil..."
"Don't you tell me to relax!" the chubby manager took off his tie and tied it around his head like a headband.
"It's ninja Phil..." Nosedive started, remembering the last time he donned the makeshift bandana. Phil was magically impaired and trying to run the ducks to the death thanks to the work of Wraith. It was all fresh in their minds.
"NO ONE, especially monsters dressed in Hanes underwear, is going to get away with pulling one over Phil Palmfeather!"
"Pull one over...like in a wedgie?" Nosedive received a dissatisfied glance from the other ducks. "Sorry."
"Ok, so what do we do?" Duke crossed his arms, eyeing Wildwing for his orders.
"Well, I took the precaution of putting a homing beacon in the briefcase." Tanya gave the team a small, prideful grin. As expected, the praise from the others succeeded the revelation.
"Tanya, that was great thinking." Wildwing gave her an approving nod.
"Man, don't you love these successful plot twists in our favor!?" Nosedive beamed, giving a small cheer at the thought of some action and the reclamation of his contract. "What a day!"
"So, sweetheart, where is it?" Duke crossed his arms, optimistic in tone.
"Well...uh, let me see here..." Tanya pressed a few buttons on her com, resulting in a steady beeping. The other ducks soon activated their coms to see the same visual. "It appears that it is...over there!" Tanya's pointing hand shot out in the direction of the brick building down the street, where the stray shot earlier had originated.
Chameleon was peeking over the frame of a window, seeing Tanya pointing to his position and the other ducks beginning to run for the building. Fumbling with the briefcase, he gave a small sound, something resembling an "eep", when the head suddenly materialized on the wall across the room.
"Did I scare ya?"
"Yeah, a bit." Beads of sweat began to form along the scaly skin on Chameleon's forehead as he looked out the window.
"Great plan. Covering the robots in underwear...brilliant."
"Well, Siege never wears them, but he'll kill me if he found out." Chameleon continued to seem edgy, now giving a small dance with his feet in a nervous twitch.
"Hey, Man, what's wrong?"
"The ducks are coming!"
"Well, don't just sit there, dude! Do something!"
"You do something! This was your idea!" Chameleon pouted, flailing his arms about in a panic as he heard rapid footsteps climbing up the stairs.
"Warp back to the Raptor."
"And bring the ducks to Draguanus?! He'd have my head!"
"Ok...fine, so we got four angry ducks and their bloated manager coming through the door in 12.6 seconds. We can work with that..." Chameleon gasped as he heard the footsteps grow louder and more intense. Shocking the saurian, the door slammed shut on its own, the lock turning. The head flashed a smile, shifting to the floor and illuminating a dark hallway leading to another corner of the building.
"This way...hurry!" the head began swimming along the rickety wooden floorboards, lighting the way for the saurian, which had heard the footsteps stop at the door. He was down the hall, turning a corner as he heard a puck blast and the sound of debris scattering along the ground...
(Yeah, it's a cliffhanger, but hey, who said life was fair? Anyway, next time, find out if Chameleon succeeds and the Mighty Ducks even learn the finer points of Anaheim's wonderful public transit system...well, I don't know if it's great, but hey, why not? Next time is Chapter 5, Duck Dues and the Bus Blues.)