(EDITOR: It has come to my attention that some readers are disappointed in the fact that my term "Phil's Underpants Dance" didn't actually result in a dance. However, because of this, Chapter 6 has a nice little sequence added into it where Phil gets a little down with his bad self. Granted, it's a couple chapters later and I'm sorry for the unintentional deception in my title, but hopefully, this will at least partially make up for it.
One more thing. This chapter isn't slated to be particularly funny. I just realized that reading through it. There's a couple small things, but nothing major. However, Chapter 6 and 7 (including a more in-depth look at Klegghorn) should be a little better, but we'll see. This is definitely not grade A comedy material, but hey, nobody's perfect!)
Reality Bites
Chapter 5: Duck Dues and the Bus Blues
"Yipes!" Chameleon felt a foot fall loose on the floorboards, their flimsy composition whining as his body began to sink. With quick instincts, he lunged forward, turning around to see the floor collapse into the darkness below.
"Perfect!" the head grinned, motioning Chameleon off to the side out of sight, leaving the briefcase right in the center of the floor. Soon, the ducks rounded the corner, spotting their prize and slowly trotting down the dim hallway. Chameleon made a mental note that the ducks seemed unable to notice the head, now plastered on the wall, looking straight at the approaching heroes, chuckling to himself.
"3...2...1...HA!" Like clockwork, another portion of floor collapsed on itself, a flurry of startled screams echoed through the hall. Chameleon peaked out of hiding to see the giant gap in the floor, dust rising along with the sounds of bodies slamming against the ground of the lower level. Thankfully, the floor below was sturdy enough to prevent them plummeting down further stories. The ducks quickly assembled to their feet, helping Phil up and looking up the hole to the level above them.
"What is this? Some kind of mondo fun house kind of deal?" Nosedive's face was cluttered with dust, his expression conveying stern annoyance. Tanya rubbed the back of her leg, while Wildwing used the mask to detect any other life readings. Chameleon squinted his eyes and stood as still as he could, believing the jig was up.
"There's no one up there." he thought out loud. "Then how did it move down the hall?"
"Man...this place must be spooked!" Nosedive clamored up, earning a frown from Tanya.
"Let's get back up there and now!" Duke shouted, the sounds of cautious footsteps slowing diminishing out of earshot to the saurian upstairs.
"What happened?" Chameleon turned to the delighted head, pleasantly rocking among the grooves of the soiled wall.
"They couldn't detect you...I had something to do with that."
"Would they be able to see me?"
"Yes...if they do, then you'll be caught. They can't see me though."
"I noticed."
"You're more keen than Draguanus would give you credit for, huh?"
"I don't know about that. What I do know is that I want to get out of here!"
"How about a new plan?"
"What?"
"Take the homing device out of the briefcase and warp out of here!"
"Oh...yeah, that'd work!" Chameleon made an attempt to pry open the suitcase, but the sounds of pursuit interrupted. He began to run down the hall, the face following him, brainstorming another prank to pull on the ducks. As the saurian darted into a stairwell and ran up towards the roof, the head slid up the wall, blinking quickly to make the entrance collapse. Chameleon jumped as a cloud of heavy dust exploded forth, threatening to engulf him as he proceeded up the stairwell. Coughing, he fell out onto the roof, clutching the briefcase as he gasped for air.
"Hurry, that won't keep the ducks away for long!" the head showed up along the gravel flooring, the rough texture giving him a wavy appearance. Chameleon made a second attempt to open the case, but it had a lock on it. Out of patience and taking his small laser pistol, he blasted the lock and ravaged through the contents. Tucked into a corner was a tiny, coin-shaped object with the Mighty Ducks logo on it.
"Must they put their logo on everything?!" Chameleon muttered as he hurled it with all his might and stood upright. The sounds of puck blasters become audible, ropes blasting into the saurian's line of vision, hooking into the brickwork on the opposite edge of the roof. The saurian quickly activated his transporter, heading back to the Raptor, while the head sunk into the coarse texture and vanished from sight.
"It should be here!" Tanya peered around, completely puzzled. After a couple minutes of searching, Duke called over the others.
"Is that the homing beacon?"
"Uh...yeah..." Tanya admitted, picking it up and closing her fist on it, frustrated at her failure.
"Maybe the mask has a short...it hasn't picked up anyone here." Wildwing took it off, trying to survey it for visual damage.
"What did I tell ya!? This place is spooked! And now, my contract is gone..." Nosedive's voice sunk an octane, drawing sympathetic glances from Duke and Wildwing, while Phil stayed silent, chastising himself for not making copies when he had the chance.
"We might as well return to base..." Wildwing muttered, bitterly disappointed and now preoccupied with the impending loss of freedom for Nosedive and himself.
"It's a long walk...and the car is totaled." Tanya replied drearily, casting another downtrodden gaze at her homing beacon as they slowly returned to the edge of the roof to climb back down.
After an hour and a lesson in the finer points of public transit, the ducks and their manager found themselves back at the Pond. It was a long bus ride that was like a hybrid, somewhere in between a publicity stunt and an autograph signing. Every stop introduced another dozen fans that jumped on the bus, shamelessly begging for autographs. Half way through the ride, their haggard manager got off to go to his apartment, having enough excitement for the day. After an hour, the weary ducks finally caught a glimpse of their home, just barely escaping the ravenous fans and their relentless demands. However, the moment of peace was broken when their curiosity was aroused, seeing a police car and an accompanying van parked at the front entrance, coupled with the sounds or argument in the distance. The ducks ran up to see Mallory and Grin with an officer, the female duck in hostile conversation while a boorish, middle-aged man stood, his ugly brown suit reeking with the smell of mold. His eyes jumped up from their usual state of half-sleepiness upon the sight of the other ducks. Immediately approaching Wildwing, the police officer cut off his confrontation with an enraged Mallory to join him.
"Are you Wildwing Flashbeak?"
"I am." He answered hesitantly.
"We are here for a Nosedive Flashbeak. I'm with Social Services."
"Hey, no way man!" Nosedive shook his heads in refusal and backed up an inch.
"And you are Nosedive, I take it?"
"In the feathers, but I ain't goin anywhere."
"Afraid you have to..." the police officer moved up, his young body sculpted with muscles, his tireless hands looked ready to choke the life out of anything in his path. The other man gave a nod, hoping that the teen would cooperate.
"Just a minute! Who do you think you are, trying to take my brother away?!" Wildwing shot up defensively, blocking the officer's path.
"Don't get yourself in any more trouble than you're already in." The policeman hissed warningly, unfolding a piece of paper out of the flap of his uniform, flipping it out for the avian to take. Wildwing's mask came off to an overwhelmed twist of his beak as he silently read over the form announcing his upcoming date in court. "Now, Nosedive, come with me."
Nosedive looked at his brother's frantic eyes, returned back to him with concern. Wildwing only needed a nod of approval and he would've stopped the officer and risked his chances with the law. Tanya stood back, watching the scene uneasily, while Duke tensed up, shifting a step in front of Nosedive, also ready to defend him. The teen realized that he had at his disposal the assistance of his brother and confidante, but he would be only living life as a fugitive, drawing two ducks he cared about into the depths of turmoil with the law. Thinking of his teammates, Nosedive brushed Duke's arm aside, walking up to the policeman and bowing his head solemnly.
"I give up. I'll go peacefully officer."
"You're not going to jail."
"Might as well be that." Nosedive said, sending a look to Wildwing, who looked like he was ready to collapse. The tall, white mallard couldn't fathom the thought of Nosedive being taken away again, so he began to tense up, mere seconds from lashing out at the humans when Nosedive held up his hands, placing them on Wildwing's shoulders, calming the large avian with an assuring glance.
"No, big bro."
"Dive...I won't let this happen."
"No. Listen to me Wing. We got to cooperate. You've always told us to obey the law before...now shouldn't be any different."
"This is hardly fair Dive. Laws are easy to obey when don't involve stealing your family away on technicalities."
"You'll find the contract, Wing. I know you will. Until then, I'll be miserable in some rat-infested hole somewhere. Besides, you got a date in court and you don't want to ruin it." Nosedive gave his brother a quick hug, Wildwing frowning when his brother was prematurely pulled out of it, walking away with the officer and social worker, his hands held together as if wearing an invisible pair of handcuffs. Wildwing looked on helplessly, his frantic eyes unable to comprehend this turn of events. Gaining a comforting hand on the shoulder from Duke, the white avian watched his brother disappear in the van, slowly drifting out of sight, over the concrete horizon. Wildwing continued to stare for a moment, the other ducks watching on silently, unable to find the words to consol their leader. However, instead of sulking, the white mallard relocated the mask on his face, its assiduous symbolism already lifting their spirits.
"We can't let Dive down! We got to find that contract now!" he directed his hand towards the Pond, he and the ducks heading down into their living quarters.
"So, Mallory, what about your taxes?" Duke asked as they walked single file down the hall.
"I have an appointment set up for the audit. I don't want to talk about it anymore..." she groaned as they entered the living room, heading down the corridor to the ready room.
"With the Drake One we should be able to find out something about the events we experienced earlier."
"Like what?"
"Believe me, you don't want to know..." Duke sighed as the team approached the giant super-computer. Activating it, a computerized voice began to speak.
"Tanya, you have -two- new messages."
"Oh..." looking at the other ducks, she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, at least one of us should have E-mail. I'll look at it after checking out the recent disturbance."
As Tanya began typing in buttons rapidly, the others watched as the screen flashed in between a wide variety of different visuals, eventually showing a three-dimensional model of the area where the ducks had been. Scanning for disturbances, Tanya snapped her fingers when a green spot appeared on the rooftop and several more at ground level.
"Draguanus had some lackeys warping in and out earlier."
"So, lizard lips is back already!" Wildwing clenched his fist, never lowering his glance from the screen.
"Kind of an irregular plan of attack though..." Duke commented from a neighboring console that he was casually leaning on.
"Can we track them?"
"It appears that the homing device was discovered immediately before transport and was left behind. However, I may be able to trace the faint transport signature if the Raptor is in close range."
"Do it." Wildwing responded, watching Tanya feverishly type for a couple seconds before an irregular beeping noise came from the computer. They all looked up as a blue screen announced that the computer had a fatal error.
"Error number 25A?!" Tanya gasped as the other ducks looked at her dumbfounded. "This could only mean that the inter-dimensional transportation relay chip needs to be replaced!"
"Come again?" Mallory asked, turning an unhappy look to the giant machine.
"It means I need to go to Lectic-Land."
"You serious? That store has that inter-dimensional thingy?" Duke unfolded his arms, the confusion apparent on his expression.
"Well, uh...sure. After all, every series needs a place where the good guys can get any type of mechanical component possible."
"Oh...yeah, I guess that makes sense."
"Alright, Tanya, than we better go..." Wildwing took a step towards the Migrator before Grin added his first words to the conversation.
"You might want to check your messages first."
"Why?"
"I have an ominous sensation that something else unexpected will occur."
"Really? And what makes you say that?" Mallory gave him a suspicious look while Duke adjusted his stance to interject.
"Well, think about it sweetheart. Grin almost traded away, you getting audited, the kid being taken away...this can't be it..." his comments were interrupted by the horrid gasp from Tanya, as she stared at the screen, her beak hanging open in shock. Never before had the ducks seen her like this and awkwardly approached the female, her vacant expression reflecting disbelief at the screen. Looking up, Duke read the large print from the displayed E-mail message.
"Dear customer, Lectic Land has experienced an ant infestation and will therefore be...closed...CLOSED!?"
"It says only for a week." Mallory added, continuing to read where Duke left off.
"There is no way Dive is sitting in a group home for a week!" Wildwing acrimoniously tensed his arms, eyes focused on the stationary Tanya.
"If they even take him there!"
"Oh God..." Wildwing's eyes widened a bit, imagining all the possibilities. After all, he had very little knowledge of the human-ran social system.
"Don't worry, fearless leader." Duke tried to comfort him before Mallory joined back in.
"Oh great...Tanya's in shock!"
"Tanya! Tanya!" Wildwing waved his hand in front of her eyes before her rigid body grew fluid again, her beak still riddled with shock.
"I can't believe this...not Lectic Land!" Tanya's voice shot up, trying to suppress her whining.
"This is not good." Grin quietly remarked, his eyes fading into his meditation again.
"Gee, duh!" Duke snapped, apologizing when Grin's eye opened in response.
"Tanya, can't we get it from any other place?"
"Well, Lectic Land had it all. I don't know if any other place would sell these components."
"I heard some place called Best Buy had electronics..." Wildwing commented, rubbing his beak in thought.
"Are you kidding?! They got nothing!" Tanya lashed back, the thought of the team recommending, to her, places to buy electronics, was revolting.
"Well, I got an idea...but it involves some sneaky work." Duke raised his hand to his beak, his thumb and pointer finger rubbing his beak slyly to accentuate the sneaky part.
"And what do you propose?" Wildwing folded his arms, turning back to Duke.
"Let's break in and get the part."
"Rob Lectic Land..." Tanya shot up, but Duke shot up a finger to quiet her.
"Don't rob it. We'll get it, snatch the component, and leave the money at the register."
"That's stupid..."
"That's insane..."
"It's been done on other Disney shows..."
"It'll be perfect." Wildwing finished, looks of surprise painted among the females. "But, we'll have to wait until tonight."
"Then it's agreed. I have to go and choose my special pick for this job, to make it extra special..." Duke slyly beamed, slipping out the door before the remaining ducks all looked at each other a little flabbergasted.
"Special pick?"
"He's a thief...maybe it comes with the job."
"Uh-huh, sure Wildwing, whatever..." Mallory rolled her eyes and strolled out of the room. "Now if you don't mind, I'm taking a quick trip to the mall. Mervyn's is having a two for one deal and I can't miss out."
"Alright. Be back here in a couple hours. It's already getting late."
"Yeah yeah..." Mallory disappeared, leaving a silent Grin and Tanya, staring into space while Wildwing tried to assemble his thoughts together.
"I sense tonight will be most...enlightening." Grin thought to himself as the sun slowly sunk into the western reaches of Anaheim. Soon, the heist of the century would be pulled off and somewhere among the urban jungle, a waterfowl teen was about to meet with his destiny...
(Next time: How many Dukes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hopefully, not as many as it will to steal some mystical, plot-device of a part from an ant infested electronics store. More mayhem coming your way in Chapter 6, Headin' Down to Lectic Avenue!)
(EDITOR: Sorry, a little 80's music joke there.)
One more thing. This chapter isn't slated to be particularly funny. I just realized that reading through it. There's a couple small things, but nothing major. However, Chapter 6 and 7 (including a more in-depth look at Klegghorn) should be a little better, but we'll see. This is definitely not grade A comedy material, but hey, nobody's perfect!)
Reality Bites
Chapter 5: Duck Dues and the Bus Blues
"Yipes!" Chameleon felt a foot fall loose on the floorboards, their flimsy composition whining as his body began to sink. With quick instincts, he lunged forward, turning around to see the floor collapse into the darkness below.
"Perfect!" the head grinned, motioning Chameleon off to the side out of sight, leaving the briefcase right in the center of the floor. Soon, the ducks rounded the corner, spotting their prize and slowly trotting down the dim hallway. Chameleon made a mental note that the ducks seemed unable to notice the head, now plastered on the wall, looking straight at the approaching heroes, chuckling to himself.
"3...2...1...HA!" Like clockwork, another portion of floor collapsed on itself, a flurry of startled screams echoed through the hall. Chameleon peaked out of hiding to see the giant gap in the floor, dust rising along with the sounds of bodies slamming against the ground of the lower level. Thankfully, the floor below was sturdy enough to prevent them plummeting down further stories. The ducks quickly assembled to their feet, helping Phil up and looking up the hole to the level above them.
"What is this? Some kind of mondo fun house kind of deal?" Nosedive's face was cluttered with dust, his expression conveying stern annoyance. Tanya rubbed the back of her leg, while Wildwing used the mask to detect any other life readings. Chameleon squinted his eyes and stood as still as he could, believing the jig was up.
"There's no one up there." he thought out loud. "Then how did it move down the hall?"
"Man...this place must be spooked!" Nosedive clamored up, earning a frown from Tanya.
"Let's get back up there and now!" Duke shouted, the sounds of cautious footsteps slowing diminishing out of earshot to the saurian upstairs.
"What happened?" Chameleon turned to the delighted head, pleasantly rocking among the grooves of the soiled wall.
"They couldn't detect you...I had something to do with that."
"Would they be able to see me?"
"Yes...if they do, then you'll be caught. They can't see me though."
"I noticed."
"You're more keen than Draguanus would give you credit for, huh?"
"I don't know about that. What I do know is that I want to get out of here!"
"How about a new plan?"
"What?"
"Take the homing device out of the briefcase and warp out of here!"
"Oh...yeah, that'd work!" Chameleon made an attempt to pry open the suitcase, but the sounds of pursuit interrupted. He began to run down the hall, the face following him, brainstorming another prank to pull on the ducks. As the saurian darted into a stairwell and ran up towards the roof, the head slid up the wall, blinking quickly to make the entrance collapse. Chameleon jumped as a cloud of heavy dust exploded forth, threatening to engulf him as he proceeded up the stairwell. Coughing, he fell out onto the roof, clutching the briefcase as he gasped for air.
"Hurry, that won't keep the ducks away for long!" the head showed up along the gravel flooring, the rough texture giving him a wavy appearance. Chameleon made a second attempt to open the case, but it had a lock on it. Out of patience and taking his small laser pistol, he blasted the lock and ravaged through the contents. Tucked into a corner was a tiny, coin-shaped object with the Mighty Ducks logo on it.
"Must they put their logo on everything?!" Chameleon muttered as he hurled it with all his might and stood upright. The sounds of puck blasters become audible, ropes blasting into the saurian's line of vision, hooking into the brickwork on the opposite edge of the roof. The saurian quickly activated his transporter, heading back to the Raptor, while the head sunk into the coarse texture and vanished from sight.
"It should be here!" Tanya peered around, completely puzzled. After a couple minutes of searching, Duke called over the others.
"Is that the homing beacon?"
"Uh...yeah..." Tanya admitted, picking it up and closing her fist on it, frustrated at her failure.
"Maybe the mask has a short...it hasn't picked up anyone here." Wildwing took it off, trying to survey it for visual damage.
"What did I tell ya!? This place is spooked! And now, my contract is gone..." Nosedive's voice sunk an octane, drawing sympathetic glances from Duke and Wildwing, while Phil stayed silent, chastising himself for not making copies when he had the chance.
"We might as well return to base..." Wildwing muttered, bitterly disappointed and now preoccupied with the impending loss of freedom for Nosedive and himself.
"It's a long walk...and the car is totaled." Tanya replied drearily, casting another downtrodden gaze at her homing beacon as they slowly returned to the edge of the roof to climb back down.
After an hour and a lesson in the finer points of public transit, the ducks and their manager found themselves back at the Pond. It was a long bus ride that was like a hybrid, somewhere in between a publicity stunt and an autograph signing. Every stop introduced another dozen fans that jumped on the bus, shamelessly begging for autographs. Half way through the ride, their haggard manager got off to go to his apartment, having enough excitement for the day. After an hour, the weary ducks finally caught a glimpse of their home, just barely escaping the ravenous fans and their relentless demands. However, the moment of peace was broken when their curiosity was aroused, seeing a police car and an accompanying van parked at the front entrance, coupled with the sounds or argument in the distance. The ducks ran up to see Mallory and Grin with an officer, the female duck in hostile conversation while a boorish, middle-aged man stood, his ugly brown suit reeking with the smell of mold. His eyes jumped up from their usual state of half-sleepiness upon the sight of the other ducks. Immediately approaching Wildwing, the police officer cut off his confrontation with an enraged Mallory to join him.
"Are you Wildwing Flashbeak?"
"I am." He answered hesitantly.
"We are here for a Nosedive Flashbeak. I'm with Social Services."
"Hey, no way man!" Nosedive shook his heads in refusal and backed up an inch.
"And you are Nosedive, I take it?"
"In the feathers, but I ain't goin anywhere."
"Afraid you have to..." the police officer moved up, his young body sculpted with muscles, his tireless hands looked ready to choke the life out of anything in his path. The other man gave a nod, hoping that the teen would cooperate.
"Just a minute! Who do you think you are, trying to take my brother away?!" Wildwing shot up defensively, blocking the officer's path.
"Don't get yourself in any more trouble than you're already in." The policeman hissed warningly, unfolding a piece of paper out of the flap of his uniform, flipping it out for the avian to take. Wildwing's mask came off to an overwhelmed twist of his beak as he silently read over the form announcing his upcoming date in court. "Now, Nosedive, come with me."
Nosedive looked at his brother's frantic eyes, returned back to him with concern. Wildwing only needed a nod of approval and he would've stopped the officer and risked his chances with the law. Tanya stood back, watching the scene uneasily, while Duke tensed up, shifting a step in front of Nosedive, also ready to defend him. The teen realized that he had at his disposal the assistance of his brother and confidante, but he would be only living life as a fugitive, drawing two ducks he cared about into the depths of turmoil with the law. Thinking of his teammates, Nosedive brushed Duke's arm aside, walking up to the policeman and bowing his head solemnly.
"I give up. I'll go peacefully officer."
"You're not going to jail."
"Might as well be that." Nosedive said, sending a look to Wildwing, who looked like he was ready to collapse. The tall, white mallard couldn't fathom the thought of Nosedive being taken away again, so he began to tense up, mere seconds from lashing out at the humans when Nosedive held up his hands, placing them on Wildwing's shoulders, calming the large avian with an assuring glance.
"No, big bro."
"Dive...I won't let this happen."
"No. Listen to me Wing. We got to cooperate. You've always told us to obey the law before...now shouldn't be any different."
"This is hardly fair Dive. Laws are easy to obey when don't involve stealing your family away on technicalities."
"You'll find the contract, Wing. I know you will. Until then, I'll be miserable in some rat-infested hole somewhere. Besides, you got a date in court and you don't want to ruin it." Nosedive gave his brother a quick hug, Wildwing frowning when his brother was prematurely pulled out of it, walking away with the officer and social worker, his hands held together as if wearing an invisible pair of handcuffs. Wildwing looked on helplessly, his frantic eyes unable to comprehend this turn of events. Gaining a comforting hand on the shoulder from Duke, the white avian watched his brother disappear in the van, slowly drifting out of sight, over the concrete horizon. Wildwing continued to stare for a moment, the other ducks watching on silently, unable to find the words to consol their leader. However, instead of sulking, the white mallard relocated the mask on his face, its assiduous symbolism already lifting their spirits.
"We can't let Dive down! We got to find that contract now!" he directed his hand towards the Pond, he and the ducks heading down into their living quarters.
"So, Mallory, what about your taxes?" Duke asked as they walked single file down the hall.
"I have an appointment set up for the audit. I don't want to talk about it anymore..." she groaned as they entered the living room, heading down the corridor to the ready room.
"With the Drake One we should be able to find out something about the events we experienced earlier."
"Like what?"
"Believe me, you don't want to know..." Duke sighed as the team approached the giant super-computer. Activating it, a computerized voice began to speak.
"Tanya, you have -two- new messages."
"Oh..." looking at the other ducks, she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, at least one of us should have E-mail. I'll look at it after checking out the recent disturbance."
As Tanya began typing in buttons rapidly, the others watched as the screen flashed in between a wide variety of different visuals, eventually showing a three-dimensional model of the area where the ducks had been. Scanning for disturbances, Tanya snapped her fingers when a green spot appeared on the rooftop and several more at ground level.
"Draguanus had some lackeys warping in and out earlier."
"So, lizard lips is back already!" Wildwing clenched his fist, never lowering his glance from the screen.
"Kind of an irregular plan of attack though..." Duke commented from a neighboring console that he was casually leaning on.
"Can we track them?"
"It appears that the homing device was discovered immediately before transport and was left behind. However, I may be able to trace the faint transport signature if the Raptor is in close range."
"Do it." Wildwing responded, watching Tanya feverishly type for a couple seconds before an irregular beeping noise came from the computer. They all looked up as a blue screen announced that the computer had a fatal error.
"Error number 25A?!" Tanya gasped as the other ducks looked at her dumbfounded. "This could only mean that the inter-dimensional transportation relay chip needs to be replaced!"
"Come again?" Mallory asked, turning an unhappy look to the giant machine.
"It means I need to go to Lectic-Land."
"You serious? That store has that inter-dimensional thingy?" Duke unfolded his arms, the confusion apparent on his expression.
"Well, uh...sure. After all, every series needs a place where the good guys can get any type of mechanical component possible."
"Oh...yeah, I guess that makes sense."
"Alright, Tanya, than we better go..." Wildwing took a step towards the Migrator before Grin added his first words to the conversation.
"You might want to check your messages first."
"Why?"
"I have an ominous sensation that something else unexpected will occur."
"Really? And what makes you say that?" Mallory gave him a suspicious look while Duke adjusted his stance to interject.
"Well, think about it sweetheart. Grin almost traded away, you getting audited, the kid being taken away...this can't be it..." his comments were interrupted by the horrid gasp from Tanya, as she stared at the screen, her beak hanging open in shock. Never before had the ducks seen her like this and awkwardly approached the female, her vacant expression reflecting disbelief at the screen. Looking up, Duke read the large print from the displayed E-mail message.
"Dear customer, Lectic Land has experienced an ant infestation and will therefore be...closed...CLOSED!?"
"It says only for a week." Mallory added, continuing to read where Duke left off.
"There is no way Dive is sitting in a group home for a week!" Wildwing acrimoniously tensed his arms, eyes focused on the stationary Tanya.
"If they even take him there!"
"Oh God..." Wildwing's eyes widened a bit, imagining all the possibilities. After all, he had very little knowledge of the human-ran social system.
"Don't worry, fearless leader." Duke tried to comfort him before Mallory joined back in.
"Oh great...Tanya's in shock!"
"Tanya! Tanya!" Wildwing waved his hand in front of her eyes before her rigid body grew fluid again, her beak still riddled with shock.
"I can't believe this...not Lectic Land!" Tanya's voice shot up, trying to suppress her whining.
"This is not good." Grin quietly remarked, his eyes fading into his meditation again.
"Gee, duh!" Duke snapped, apologizing when Grin's eye opened in response.
"Tanya, can't we get it from any other place?"
"Well, Lectic Land had it all. I don't know if any other place would sell these components."
"I heard some place called Best Buy had electronics..." Wildwing commented, rubbing his beak in thought.
"Are you kidding?! They got nothing!" Tanya lashed back, the thought of the team recommending, to her, places to buy electronics, was revolting.
"Well, I got an idea...but it involves some sneaky work." Duke raised his hand to his beak, his thumb and pointer finger rubbing his beak slyly to accentuate the sneaky part.
"And what do you propose?" Wildwing folded his arms, turning back to Duke.
"Let's break in and get the part."
"Rob Lectic Land..." Tanya shot up, but Duke shot up a finger to quiet her.
"Don't rob it. We'll get it, snatch the component, and leave the money at the register."
"That's stupid..."
"That's insane..."
"It's been done on other Disney shows..."
"It'll be perfect." Wildwing finished, looks of surprise painted among the females. "But, we'll have to wait until tonight."
"Then it's agreed. I have to go and choose my special pick for this job, to make it extra special..." Duke slyly beamed, slipping out the door before the remaining ducks all looked at each other a little flabbergasted.
"Special pick?"
"He's a thief...maybe it comes with the job."
"Uh-huh, sure Wildwing, whatever..." Mallory rolled her eyes and strolled out of the room. "Now if you don't mind, I'm taking a quick trip to the mall. Mervyn's is having a two for one deal and I can't miss out."
"Alright. Be back here in a couple hours. It's already getting late."
"Yeah yeah..." Mallory disappeared, leaving a silent Grin and Tanya, staring into space while Wildwing tried to assemble his thoughts together.
"I sense tonight will be most...enlightening." Grin thought to himself as the sun slowly sunk into the western reaches of Anaheim. Soon, the heist of the century would be pulled off and somewhere among the urban jungle, a waterfowl teen was about to meet with his destiny...
(Next time: How many Dukes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hopefully, not as many as it will to steal some mystical, plot-device of a part from an ant infested electronics store. More mayhem coming your way in Chapter 6, Headin' Down to Lectic Avenue!)
(EDITOR: Sorry, a little 80's music joke there.)