Disclaimer: Aida belongs to Disney, Hyperion Theatricals, etc, NOT ME (not me!)
Part IV: One More Longing Backward Glance: Nubia
Aida couldn't bring herself to let it drop.
In the moonlight, luminescence played off the amulet's sides. She hadn't
really looked at it, studied it before. At least not meticulously as she
did now. Maybe it was because now she didn't know if she'd ever see it
again. She brushed a finger along its side. There were all sorts of indentations
and curves she had never noticed before. It was…beautiful, really.
The wind was refreshing after the long heat
of the day. Below her, the Nile continued along its course. At least the
river was the same in Egypt. Aida laughed bitterly to herself. No, even
that wasn't true. The color was different. We don't even have that much,
Radames, she thouhgt. There was nothing left any more. Just let it drop,
her mind told her. Stop it now. It's almost over.
"Are you coming, Princess?" one of her handmaidens
called. "The river isn't safe at night."
"In a minute, Nailah," Aida answered. "I just
need to finish something."
Whatever response the girl made, Aida didn't
hear it. It has to stop, she repeated. She unfastened the amulet and held
it by the top of the chain. It swayed slowly like a pendulum. There, that
was the next step. Now there was just one more left.
How did I get here…? she wondered.
Swing, swing again… Aida moved her trembling
hand, still clutching the amulet, over the river. It would only take a
second to drop it, and then she could return to her room and its warmth,
the comfort of her friends, the respect of her sister, and the love of
her father. She could be Aida again, the Aida she used to know. The Aida
who was confident and loved her people and her family. Loved her country.
The Aida who knew she was and what was right or wrong. As if nothing had
ever happened.
But it had. Within a matter of hours, her entire world had been turned
upside down yet again. But the circle had almost completed. She would be
Aida again. She had come so close tonight, and wasn't going to stop now.
Aida studied the amulet again, giving in just
one last time to weakness. Why do we have to be enemies, Radames…? She
smiled bitterly. All I have to do is forget how much I…gods, how did I
get here?
She could still remember the night of her return
to Nubia vividly, even though it had been months ago now. It had taken
five days by boat to cross her country's border, another two to reach Kaita.
It was night, she'd never forget that. Her
father was trying to convince the other occupants in the boat to stop for
the night. Only two nights before, suspecting the Egyptians were following
them, they had traveled too far into the night and had almost capsized
when they hit a rock under the water. Only some very quick thinking and
maneuvering the boat ashore kept the hole from breaching to the point of
being unfixable.
Still, Mereb was amazingly persistent. He
wouldn't show any disrespect to her father, but when it came to herself
and Nekhar, the other Nubian in the boat, Mereb didn't try to hold back
his anticipation.
Aida's thoughts had been blank that night.
The first night they had she had shamefully sobbed herself to sleep. When
Mereb had come to get relief for his post as sentry, she had only fallen
asleep minutes ago. The second night she cried herself to sleep again,
but by the third, she found that she physically had no tears left.
By that time her entire body and mind drifted
into numbness. For long days and nights there was nothing to do. Occasionally
her father, Mereb, or Nekhar would talk idly, but eventually even that
drifted into silence. Aida found it best not to think at all, because too
many things reminded her of him.
Only yesterday they had passed the first cataract.
Aida at first found it hard to keep her eyes shut, but then curiosity won
her over and she opened her eyes. Radames hadn't been lying. It was the
more beautiful place she had ever seen, unlike anything in southern Nubia.
Wild and untamed, yet noble and beautiful. In the distance, she could see
the islands Radames had spoken of. She wondered which one he would have
built their house on, where they would hunt for game, where they would
launch off their boat to explore the Nile. Although she was crowded close
to the others in the boat, Aida never felt so alone.
Eventually they passed the cataract and the
countryside began to change throughout the next day and a half. The species
of trees started to look familiar, the birds made sounds she had heard
before. And then…a familiar outcropping of rock in the river. A tree that
was somehow familiar. Her heart began to speed up. It couldn't be, was
it, if only it was…
A bird's nest that she had remembered seeing
a few months ago. No, there were many nests in Nubia, it couldn't be true…but
then there was a familiar bend in the river…
She hadn't realized how tightly she was clutching
Mereb's arm. He, in return, was squeezing her hand so tightly she was beginning
to lose circulation. Aida didn't notice. Her entire body was shaking. It
couldn't be, never had she thought that she could actually return…
In the back of the boat, she could here Nekhar,
the other Nubian, sobbing. She looked to see her father close his eyes
in relief. For the first time since she had left her village, she could
tell he was at peace. The nightmare was almost over, almost, just a few
more turns around the river-
"Halt!" yelled a voice. The fantasy came screeching
to a stop. Terror filled Aida's heart. Had the Egyptians followed them,
after all? On and off they had seen signs of them, was it a mistake to
think they had truly eluded them? Had they come this far, just to lead
their own people into a trap?
"Who's there?" yelled her father, stepping
out into the shallow water, sword ready. "Stay back, Aida," he whispered,
his voice fierce.
"Father!" Aida cried. She perched into position,
ready to jump at whoever might attack. She had no sword, but she knew a
few tricks with her fist that might give them the precious time they would
need to escape.
"Your Majesty?" asked the voice.
"I am Amonosro of Nubia," her father said.
"Identify yourself."
She could hear the scuffle a few feet away
of someone dropping to their knees. The figure was too shocked to answer
the king's question. "Princess!" he yelled.
At that moment the moon came into view, illuminating
the new figure. Aida recognized Shulan immediately. He was only a few years
older than she, the son of a noble in the court, a childhood friend, and
the last person she had spoken to before leaving Nubia. Aida nearly flew
out of the boat and into the shocked soldier's arms.
"Call off your arms!" another soldier yelled
into the darkness. A sentry, Aida realized. Of course, with the Egyptians
such a threat, of course…
Then they were stepping out of the boat and
hastily following the small group of soldiers. Aida recognized this place
clearly now. She had hiked here before, and while it wasn't far from Kaita,
the journey seemed to so long now, no matter how fast she moved her feet.
Aida choked as the outline of her village
came into view. More sentries approached them now, quickly exchanging words
with Shulan and her father. Soon they were being led into the village itslf.
She spared a look at Mereb. A lone tear ran down his cheek. Aida patted
his hand reassuringly.
It was as if the sun had already risen. In
what seemed like only seconds, what seemed like a thousand torches were
illuminated within the huts and houses of Kaita. An endless ocean of familiar
faces were hugging her, kissing her, sharing her tears all at once.
"Aida!" screamed a familiar voice. At the
edge of the crowd, Aida was able to make out her mother and her sister's
faces.
Hugging a childhood friend one last moment, Aida waved her arms into
the air. "Mama!" Aida yelled. A smiled sprad onto her face. "Tauret!"
"Someone let the Queen and the Princess through!"
someone had the good sense to yell. Somehow the crowd parted, until finally
she was embracing her mother and sister.
"We feared the worse," her mother sobbed,
burying Aida into her arms. "Oh gods, Aida…"
Aida looked into her mother's eyes, grinning like a child. "I'm okay,
Mama. I'm okay." She turned to her older sister next, her embraced her
with equal passion. Soon her father was behind them, kissing and hugging
her mother, and then her sister.
For the first time since she left Egypt, she forgot about the amulet
tucked under her dress. She was home.
Aida had been staring off into space and hadn't
realized that she had dropped the sack of grain.
"Are you alright, Princess?" called one of
the field workers.
Aida nodded her head, regaining her concentration.
"Yes, thank you," she answered, bending down to pick up the grain.
Being a princess hadn't excused her from working with the rest of her
people, and neither had it excused her brothers and sisters. Still, Aida
help but feel silly now. Harvesting grain was the most important thing
she could do.
It had been two weeks now since she returned
from Egypt. Aida had offered to help her father in the council room, and
he had even accepted. But compared to her people's strategians, there was
little she could offer on warfare. And when they began to talk about Egypt,
her stomach began to feel sick. At the end of the days meeting, she just
excused herself. The next day she tried working with Tauret with her studies.
Her sister hadn't been kidding: it was tough work, and you had to be absolutely
insane to enjoy it. Finally, Aida had to accept that maybe her place in
life wasn't as important as she had thought. Grain harvesting was her last
resort.
"Aida!" Tauret called out from the other side
of the field.
"Tauret!" Aida yelled back, waving her arms
and grinning. The scholar was carrying a tome under her arm and walking
toward her. It was strange to see Tauret in the fields, instead of in a
dimly lit hut with her parchment and ink.
"How goes the harvest, sister?" Tauret asked
her once she had caught up with her.
Aida shrugged and smiled. "Well enough. There's still a lot of work
do be done, but it will be a good season this year. What brings such knowledgable
persons out in the sun, O Wise One?"
"I'm looking for you, actually," Tauret said.
"Could you spare a moment to take a walk with me? My eyes need a break
from the parchment."
Aida turned to the others in the field. There
would be enough people to get the day's work done, and she hadn't taken
a break for a while. "But of course," she grinned.
Tauret held out an arm, which Aida accepted.
"I think you've gotten taller," Tauret said as they strolled towards the
Nile.
"Really?" Aida asked. She looked down at her own form. If anything,
she thought she had become skinnier since her capture. While Amneris never
deprived her of food, there was little on Radames' barge and had been little
on her silent boat ride return.
Oh no, Aida thought, an ugly feeling creeping into her stomach. Not
again. Couldn't think about it. Tauret obviously sensed her discomfort.
"So tell me of Nubia," Aida said.
Tauret laughed sadly and shook her head. "It's
Nubia." She paused and looked downwards. "Although I am engaged now."
"Truly?" Aida asked, laughing. "It's about
time."
Tauret smirked. "Speak for yourself, you're nearly as old as I am."
"You and Kailan will be so-"
Tauret shook her head. "No, not to Kailan.
To Relak."
It took Aida a moment to register the name.
Of course, Relak, one of the nobles in her father's court. He was a kind
man, but old. "What about Kailan, then? You've loved each other for years."
Tauret raised an eyebrow and Aida sighed. "You can't hide from me."
"No, it's alright. Relak is a good man. Besides,
there's been so much happening I've barely thought about it. Gods, Aida,
you've been the only thing that's really happened." She removed her arm
from Aida's and placed her hands around one of Aida's. "You have no idea
what's happened since you disappeared. We sent men to the Egyptian border,
the priests prayed for your return-"
Guilt streamed though her heart. "That much?"
Aida asked.
Tauret smiled again sadly. "You have no idea
what you've put us through since-"
"Yes I do!" Aida said angrily, removing her
hand from Tauret's. "It was my fault, although I'm sure you already know
that." Her sister opened her mouth to speak, but Aida continued. "I snuck
away with the Nehebka and the others, and that's why it all happened. Nehebka
is dead, if you didn't already-"
"Aida!" Tauret interrupted, but she kept on
going.
"-know. I know you told me that night that
it was a silly idea, and I did it anyway, Tauret! I did it anyway! I'm
a fool, I know-"
"Aida!!"
Aida exhaled, and finally stopped her words.
"I know," Tauret said. "I know, and I still think you're foolish for doing
so. But you're not guilty for what the Egyptian bastards-"
For some reason those words stung. "-did to
you and the others." Tauret pulled Aida into an embrace. "The only thing
you're guilty of is being you, and making us all care for you so much.
It wasn't your fault."
If she wasn't careful, she was going to start
to cry again. "You think so?" Aida asked.
Tauret sighed. "You know I would never admit
to being wrong. Besides, father told me about what you did there."
Oh no, Aida panicked. No, he wouldn't tell,
it was too much of an embarassment, and as much as Mereb liked to talk
he wouldn't- "Tauret, I can explain!" Aida insisted.
"I'm not sure you can. How did you grow up
so fast, Aida?"
"Tauret, I never meant to-"
"I could have never lead our people like that.
And yet Mereb and father tell me you gave them back hope."
Aida tried not to let the relief show on her
face. A new feeling of pride covered it up. Tauret was proud of her. Tauret,
who she had always looked up to, and was so smart and mature, was proud
of her. Aida, her little sister. "Well…yes, I did do that."
"You know," Tauret said with a sly grin. "You've
changed since you got back."
Aida smiled sadly. "I've seen a lot now, Tauret.
I used to hear about our country fighting Egypt and the men and women lost,
but I never saw it until now. I'm not so blind any more." Aida sat down,
leaning her back against a tree. Her sister joined her a moment later.
For a moment, there was just silence and the sounds of her country echoing
in her ears. Aida let her eyes close and her body relaxed. She hadn't realized
how much she missed this. Harvesting the crop. Laughing with her friends.
Simply talking with her sister.
Tauret laid down on her back. "No, no, it's
more than that. I've seen you when you get scared of something, Aida, and
this isn't like that. It's more like…you're sad."
"Sad?" Aida wondered. "Maybe I am…"
"Princess Tauret!" yelled a messenger. Both
princesses looked up to see the messenger walking towards them. "Your father
requests your presence."
Aida turned to her sister. "I'd better get
back to the harvesting," Aida said. "Seems like you're wanted."
Tauret kissed her on the cheek as she got to her feet. "I'll see you
tonight. Gods walk with you, Aida."
"You too," Aida responded as her sister left
her.
For long minutes after, she stayed in her
position and just watched the clouds pass overhead. Isis, why did she feel
so terrible now?
I made the right decision in the end, Aida
thought. I didn't betray our people. I fell in love, but I got back on
my feet. No one got hurt-
Aida had to hold back the word Nehebka in
her mind. What she was feeling was more than that particular guilt. Less
harsh, but just as heavy. No, excluding what hadn't been in her control,
she had done the right thing in the end.
So why do I feel so guilty? Aida wondered. She sat
under the tree for several more minutes, trying to forget the familiar
face still fresh in her mind.
(Sorry this took so long. I had trouble getting it out.
When I finally started to make some progress, 9/11 happened, and I got
thrown back by about a week. Thank God no one I knew was hurt, but
I'm still in a lot of shock. This part is dedicated to all those
who lost people they love and all those who are trying to make things better.
Feedback is good, even bad feedback. Please review. I'll uh...give you a cookie.
The next part will be up in about a week. I'm mostly done with it (need to add a scene and send it off to the beta), so it won't take nearly as long. God bless America.
Oh, and go out and support Broadway. Particularly Rent, Les Mis,
Phantom, and Chicago).