Part Thirty-One - Isabel
"Bowls?"
"Check."
"Spoons?"
"Check."
"Soda?"
"Check."
"Cookies?"
"Check."
"Potato chips?"
"Check."
"Pie?"
"Check."
"Tabasco sauce?"
"Check."
"Ice cream?"
"Three kinds, check."
Mia surveyed the tray I'd laid everything on like an army commander appraising his troops, and I stifled a giggle. My sister took cheering up her siblings very seriously, and she usually accomplished her task in preparation alone. No one could stay upset while Mia Valenti was around for long.
"Okay, then. It's time to start operation 'Cheer up!'"
She bounced towards the stairs, carrying a bag of videos and a six-case of cherry cola. I shook my head and followed behind her, lugging a tray bearing more calories than people in third-world countries got in a year. Looks like I'd have to go jogging tomorrow morning. Alien powers won't help too much if I can't fit into any of my clothes. Honestly, I wasn't sure that binging on junk food and videos would help Kyle or me. But no one said 'no' to Hurricane Valenti, especially when she got into her 'I can save the world' moods, and lived to tell about it.
"Izzy!" Mia called from the top of the stairs.
"Coming," I shouted, and then mumbled, "Sergeant Maria."
"I heard that!" She told me, giving me the evil eye before breaking out into a sunny smile. "At least I'm not the Christmas Nazi."
I simply grimaced at the mention of the hated nickname and followed in my sister's wake as she bounced down the hall towards Kyle's room. She flung open the door without knocking and motioned for me to follow her inside. I could hear the Smashing Pumpkins blasting into the hall – then again, half of Roswell probably could – and wasn't at all sure that intruding in Kyle's room uninvited was a wise idea, but then again, neither was trying to tell my sister that. Besides, if I didn't put this tray down soon, I was going to collapse. With a final lopsided shrug, I followed Mia into the room, kicking the door shut behind me.
Gratefully, I dumped the tray on Kyle's desk as my eyes adjusted to the dimness. The sun had set an hour ago, but Kyle had yet to turn on any lights. The heavy navy curtains were drawn across the window, blocking any residual light and casting dark shadows in the corners of the room. Mia had dropped the movies and the sodas on the floor in the middle of the room, and now she was flicking on lamps. Kyle didn't even flinch until she turned off his CD player.
"Turn it back on," he growled.
My heart broke for my brother. He didn't deserve for this to happen to him. No one did, really, but especially not Kyle. He was too nice a guy. Kyle, who stood up for me when people at school called me a bitch. Kyle, who still checked on me during the night to make sure I wasn't having nightmares. Kyle, who understood everything – all my hopes and my dreams and my fears - without my having to say it.
I sat on the end of his bed, not saying a word, just letting my brother know tat I was there for him, the way he'd always been there for me.
Mia arched an eyebrow at me and followed my lead. She sat next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder, knowing he'd tell us in time.
"A damn 'Dear John' letter," he muttered eventually. "I loved her, and she wrote me a damn letter. We dated for three years!"
My breath caught in my throat, and I swallowed a sob. I had never heard Kyle sound so hurt, so lost and alone, not even in the weeks after Grandma Valenti died. By now, he was sitting up, and Mia and I moved so that we were sitting on either side of him, offering him one-armed hugs.
"You didn't deserve that," Maria told him quietly, the usual sparkle in her eyes dimming considerably as we both shared out brother's pain.
We lapsed into a comfortable silence, just sitting and staring at the wall, all of us picturing Tracy, the smiling girl that had once made Kyle so happy and was now responsible for breaking his heart. The silent reverie was broken only once, when Mia grabbed the now-melting cartons of ice cream from Kyle's desk. She handed each of us a carton and a spoon, and passed me the Tabasco sauce as well, before resuming her former position on Kyle's left.
For a while, all that could be heard was the soft scraping of ice cream from the cartons as we dug into the comfort food.
"She asked me out today, you know," Kyle said finally, startling me so much I dropped the spoonful of ice cream I had been about to lick off the spoon. His normally deep voice was raw from the tears he shed before we had entered his room.
"Who?" I asked softly.
"Tess, that girl with the curly hair. She wanted me to go to a party with her." He laughed humourlessly. "I told her I had a girlfriend that I was madly in love with."
"Oh, Kyle," Mia whispered, leaning against him. "It'll get better."
I nodded when he glanced at me doubtfully. "I promise. I'll make it better."
He gave us a shadow of a smile and glanced over at the pile of junk food now sitting on his desk that Mia had ordered me to gather earlier. "Who else is having trouble with their love life?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
I chewed on my bottom lip and stared at the melting ice cream in the tub in my lap. "Me," I admitted sheepishly.
"What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping an arm around both Mia's and my shoulders.
"Alex," I told him, wondering how much detail to go into. Keep it basic, I decided – he doesn't need to worry about me right now. "I think I…I mean, maybe I might be…" I trailed off, unable to admit the truth.
It didn't matter. He could see it in my eyes when I looked at him. "It'll be okay. I promise. I'll make it better." Kyle parroted my words from earlier, and I couldn't help but smile. My big brother had never let me down before, and I knew he wasn't about to start now.
Maybe things will work out, after all.
*
Part Thirty-Two – Alex
I tried. I really did try.
I stared at the night sky through my bedroom window as sleep eluded me, but for once, I didn't notice the beauty and the mystery of the stars, those faraway gas giants that brought me my sister, my friends, and…Isabel. My world.
Her face. Her eyes, as dark as the night's sky. That was the only image I could see. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face, her lower lip trembling almost imperceptibly as I risked one last look at her beautiful face before running from her room this afternoon. Trembling with a hurt I was responsible for.
Didn't she know I wanted to stay? That kissing her, feeling those perfect pink lips on mine would be a dream come true?
A dream that would never be realized, not after she discovered what I'd done.
Tomorrow morning, they would take her. Max, Michael, and Tess. They would take her to the cave where they were hidden for so many years, the cave where they were born. They would tell her what they were, what they thought she was. And they would tell her how they had found her, how they knew her deepest, darkest secret.
There were a thousand reasons for me to stay away, and only one reason for me to go.
In just a few hours, she would hate me, despise me.
I went anyway. Because that one reason, as terrifying and as risky as it may be, was more important than anything else on earth.
I love her. I love a girl I barely knew. I love a girl whose presence in our lives could threaten the very existence of my sister and my friends. I love a girl who would probably never love me back. But it didn't matter if she felt the same way. Because I would love her anyway, through anything, just as long as she was happy.
I love her, and I have to tell her. Just once, at least…before she finds out how I betrayed her.
She was laying on the dewy grass when I arrived, her skin an unearthly white in the pale moonlight. I knew she would be there somehow. And I knew she was aware of my presence, even though she made no move to acknowledge me as I emerged from the shadows of her house. The night was unearthly quiet, and I could hear each soft breath she took as I walked towards her.
Those few steps that separated us seemed like a mile. I shivered, feeling chilled to the bone, even though the night was unusually warm. I knew, with greater clarity than I've known anything else in my life, that the next few minutes would determine my future. Our future.
Her eyes remained locked on the stars above us as I lowered myself to the ground next to her, but I could see her hands were shaking. Dried tear tracks traced their way down her cheeks, and my heart squeezed painfully. I knew that I was the one who had made her cry.
I never want to make her cry again.
"Hi," I said softly, my words barely more than a whisper.
Her head tilted towards me, until I could see her beautiful eyes. They were what my grandmother called old eyes – eyes full of knowledge, full of the love and pain of a lifetime, eyes that had already seen everything before, but paradoxically, everything was fresh and new at the same time. I'd never really understood what she meant before, but in that moment, when I looked into Isabel's eyes, I knew, without a doubt.
"Hi," she answered, just as quietly. She didn't smile, but she didn't look away, either. Slowly, deliberately, she sat up, curling her legs underneath her. Grass stuck to her bare legs and arms, but she made no move to brush it off. She just continued gazing at me steadily, waiting for me to make the first move.
I swallowed and closed my eyes briefly, but this time, I didn't see her as she had appeared this afternoon, wearing her heart on her sleeve. Instead, I saw a younger Izzy, the girl I fell in love with in my dreams, smiling and laughing and happy and carefree in the sunshine.
She hasn't smiled like that in our dreams in a long time.
I wanted to make her that happy again.
My eyes fluttered open and met her dark serious ones. I reached for her hand blindly, my eyes never leaving hers, but I knew where her hand was instinctively. My fingers touched hers, and I felt a shock go through me. I knew she felt it too, those old eyes registering a flash of surprise for the briefest moment, before returning to their former composure.
My fingers threaded with hers, the touch of her hand giving me courage. "I love you," I told her simply, knowing that there was nothing more that needed to be said.
The next step was up to her.
*
Part Thirty-Three - Isabel
I knew he would come.
I'm not entirely sure how I knew. One minute, I was lying on my bed, staring out at the stars and cursing fate for making me different, as silent tears dripped down my cheeks, and the next I minute, I knew that he was coming for me, and everything was okay again.
I hesitated for a moment, glancing at the glowing green numbers on my clock, wondering if it was just wishful thinking on my part. After the events of this afternoon, after he had practically run away from me, after I realized that he somehow knew what I was, I should have avoided him like the plague.
There were a thousand reasons for me to stay away, and only one reason for me to go.
I knew I would go anyway. Because that one reason, as terrifying and as risky as it may be, was more important than anything else on earth.
I love him. I love a boy I barely knew. I love a boy whose presence in my life could threaten my very existence and tear my family apart. I love a boy who would probably never love the real me – the scared, lonely girl - back. I love a boy who knew the truth about me, who had fled my room this afternoon, who could destroy the only life I've ever known in an instant. The risk was enormous. I was putting my faith in a boy I only know through dreams. But it didn't matter if he felt the same way. Because I would love him anyway, through anything, just as long as he was happy.
I love him, and I have to be near him. Just once, just one more time at least…before I leave, before I protect my family the only way I know how.
I shook my head, knowing that I couldn't stay here, knowing that this was our last chance to get things right. Silently, I slid out of bed and crept outside, not bothering to throw anything on over my tank top and shorts. He knew me – all my most intimate thoughts and dreams and secrets…and I knew him, too. What did it matter if he saw my pyjamas?
The yard was dark, full of shadowed corners. I shivered slightly, despite the humid air, and folded my arms over my chest to ward off the fears of the dark that had remained from my childhood. Gently, I pulled the door closed behind me, pocketing my keys. The tiny click of the lock seemed as loud as a bullet in the still night air, and I stilled for a moment, glancing at the darkened windows and straining to hear if I had awakened my family.
The quiet of the night embraced me as the stars twinkled above me – stars that brought me to this place, stars that hid my past and held the promise of a wonderful future, if I could only get past the here and now. The dew-covered grass pulled at my bare feet, and when I reached the middle of the yard, I dropped to my knees. I shivered again as I lay back in the damp grass and stared up at the night sky, silently praying that I was right, that my dreams really could come true.
I could feel him before I could see him, but I remained still, giving him one last chance to turn back. I fought to keep breathing normally and kept my eyes locked on the stars, hoping they would give me the courage I so desperately needed at the moment.
He didn't move for a long minute, and then I heard the tiny squeak his sneakers made against the grass. And then he was emerged from the shadows and was standing over me, his face bathed in pale, silvery moonlight.
My hands trembled, despite all my efforts to remain still, as he lowered himself to the ground beside me. The rough denim of his jeans brushed my arm and I choked back a gasp.
"Hi," he said softly, so quietly I had to strain to hear him, despite the unearthly quiet of the night.
I tilted my chin until I could see his face, look into his beautiful blue eyes. "Hi," I breathed.
I didn't smile, just continued looking at the face that I've seen in my dreams forever. Slowly, deliberately, I sat up, curling my legs underneath me, making myself as small as possible. Grass stuck to my bare legs and arms, but I made no move to brush it off. That was insignificant. The only thing that mattered in the universe right now was sitting beside me.
I fought to control my trembling and just continued gazing at him steadily, waiting for him to make the first move, to determine the course of our future.
He swallowed and closed his eyes, and my heart clenched painfully as I feared the worst.
And then those beautiful eyes opened and met mine, and I could see all the love in the universe reflecting in those deep blue depths. His fingers touched mine, and I felt an electric shock course through me. I know he felt it too, as his fingers trembled slightly, but he didn't pull away, and I fought back a sigh of relief.
His fingers threaded with mine, the touch of his hand reassuring me that everything would be okay. "I love you," he told me quietly, simply, knowing that there was nothing more that needed to be said.
The next step was up to me.
*
Part Thirty-Four - Alex
I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears as I waited for her reaction. Nothing in my life had ever felt more important - no test had ever made me as nervous. But at the same time, I had never felt so alive, so free.
Her beautiful eyes closed, and my heart sank. I couldn't bear to look at her anymore, and my eyes dropped to where our hands were still joined. I briefly considered letting go…but I couldn't. Not yet, not if this brief contact would be all I would have of her for the rest of my life. I didn't ever want to let go of her.
Then her thumb began gently stroking the back of my hand, and my breath caught in my throat. I looked up at her face, barely breathing, not daring to hope…
Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled.
"I love you, too," she told me, her voice barely more than a whisper, her words almost lost from the soft sound of the wind whistling through the trees. But it didn't matter…I would've heard her anywhere, any time, even standing in the middle of a hurricane.
She looked frightened, almost, and I dropped her hand and wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair. "I won't hurt you," I promised, feeling her tremble slightly.
"I know," she answered simply, and I couldn't hold back the grin any longer. I, Alex Whitman, love Isabel Valenti…and she loves me, too!
She smiled back at me before pulling away. "I'll be right back, okay?"
I nodded, standing up and pulling her up beside me. I watched her slip silently into her house, and a few moments later, I saw a faint glow coming from her bedroom window upstairs. Then the light went out, and she emerged from the house wearing jeans and a red sweater, smiling happily at me, and I knew I'd never seen her look so beautiful before.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her jeep. "Where are we going?" I asked as I climbed in beside her.
She started the car and coasted out of the driveway, only giving it gas when we were halfway down her street. "I want to show you something," she told me, her golden hair flying as the wind whipped around us.
We headed out into the desert, surrounded by a silence only experience by two people truly comfortable in each other's company. I felt no need to talk; I was content just looking at her, being close to her, as the stars twinkled down on us. It was easy to feel like we were the only two people on the planet.
And then the jeep stopped. I glanced around, casually at first, and then with growing fear. Why here, of all places?
Please don't let this end before it can begin…
*
Part Thirty-Five - Isabel
I watched his face drain of all colour as he looked around, and my fingernails dug into the palms of my hands in response. Please, let me be right, let this be right…
"Alex? Is something wrong?" I asked, proud that my voice was even, despite the tremors that ran up and down my spine.
"No…" he replied, looking everywhere, anywhere, other than my face, and my heart sank a little. I wanted so much for him to know me, see me, the real me. That meant laying all of the cards on the table, no matter what it could cost me. And if he didn't know the truth, like I suspected…well, then, I could just go ahead with Plan A. I could leave, and never look back.
But I had to tell him the truth. Before he got too deeply involved. Before it was too late.
Before it hurt too much when he left me.
"Why are we here?" His voice shook me out of my reverie.
I choked back a sob that threatened to burst out. I'd been dreading this, putting this off ever since I had driven into Roswell with Mia and Kyle, but I'd known it was only a matter of time. I had to do this, had to put the demons at rest if I ever wanted a real life. I had to put my past behind me if I was going to go on…with Alex. He deserved to know the truth about me, from my own mouth, no matter what I suspected he already knew.
And if he leaves me, if he runs away from me in fear or disgust…so be it.
Now it was my turn to avoid looking him in the eye. "You know I'm adopted, right?" He nodded, and I absently ran my hand through my wind-tangled hair, dreading what was coming next. If I'm wrong, and he doesn't know…I'll be giving up my life for nothing, one part of my mind warned. Strangely enough, the voice echoing through my head sounded like Mia.
It doesn't matter…he's worth it.
"Yeah," he said, clearly wanting me to go on.
I took a deep breath. "What you don't know, what no one knows, is that Amy's not my aunt, like everyone thinks." He looked vaguely confused, but I couldn't stop to explain. If I stopped, I knew I'd never gain the courage to say it again. "My mom and sister found me when I was a little girl, right over there. I was all alone, wandering around in the desert."
His eyes widened and he finally looked at me, really looked at me, and in that moment he saw into my heart. But he didn't say anything. He knew there was nothing to say.
I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up the rocky embankment behind me, until we reached it. The place I'd remembered all my life, the door that held the secrets of my past and would determine the course of my future. The sun began to lighten the sky as I waved my hand over the surface instinctively, revealing a glowing silver handprint - something I knew would be there, somehow.
And then I pressed my much smaller hand against it, and the cave wall began to slide back.
I swallowed once, pushing back my fear of the unknown - the cave where I was born and of the future I had chosen, a future where I couldn't pretend to simply be Isabel Valenti, daughter of Amy and Jim, sister of Maria and Kyle. I was choosing my birthright, embracing my alien side…and desperately hoping that I could keep my human love.
Tears trickled down my face, but I ignored them. I dropped Alex's hand and walked through the doorway. I had made my choice, and now it was time for him to make his.
Please don't let this end before it can begin…
*
Part Thirty-Six - Alex
I watched her step inside of the cave, tears running down her cheeks, and I had to stop myself from reaching out to her, pulling her into my arms and keeping her there, where I knew she'd be safe.
But I couldn't do that. I could see the determination, the resolve, sparkling in her beautiful chocolate-coloured eyes. I could only be there with her, supporting her…and only until she found out the truth about me, about what I've done.
When she finds out, I'll be lucky if she ever lets me near her, ever again.
Silently, I followed her into the cave. I saw her shiver, but I knew it was from fear, not cold. "Isabel?" I asked cautiously.
She turned to face me, and I could see the glimmer of a smile on her face even as the tears continued to fall, despite the dimness of the cave. "This was where I was born," she told me softly, her voice trembling.
From fear of how I'd react, I realized.
I pulled her into my arms and held her close. "I'm not going anywhere," I promised her as her shivers increased.
I felt, rather than saw, her smile. And then she pulled away, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward.
"Right there," she whispered, pointing to the pod on the lower left. The pod I knew was hers. "That's where I come from. That's where I was…born." Her voice sounded haunted. "I remember it…not a day goes by. Not a day passes when I don't remember, relive it in my mind…" Hesitantly, her hand stretched out and touched the surface of the pod, one elegant finger tracing the edge.
"You can tell me anything," I told her honestly, noticing the fear on her face when she glanced back at me. The tears had finally stopped, but she still looked…broken.
"I know," she whispered. "There were others. Two boys…I saw them leave ahead of me…they wouldn't wait." She paused, staring at the pods, obviously deep in thought, searching the distant corners of her mind. "And a girl, with blonde hair, like mine. But she didn't break out of the pod. I waited, because I didn't want her to be all alone. Like I was," she added in a tiny voice, and my heart broke for the little girl she once was.
She plunked down on the dusty ground unceremoniously, pulling me down with her. She ran a hand over her eyes, drying her cheeks, and looked at me seriously. "Do you know what I am, Alex?"
I'd known this was inevitable, that the truth would catch up to me eventually.
I swallowed nervously. "Yes."
*
Part Thirty-Seven - Isabel
"Yes." With that one word, my instincts told me to run…but my heart told me to stay.
I'm through with trusting my instincts. My instincts never made me feel this way before.
"You really do know." I smiled a little, just wanting to bask in the feeling of peace. Asking him about the dreams, about how he knew, can wait. "And you're not running away?"
He kissed me softly, tentatively...perfectly. Our first kiss...
"Never." He paused, cupping my cheek, and I snuggled closer to him, leaning against his chest. I could see that he was debating whether he should say something. I stayed quiet, knowing he would tell me when he was ready.
Absently, I traced tiny hearts in the ground with my index finger as I studied him. His face reflected the odd glowing green lights that still illuminated the pods…the same light that kept me company that first lonely night that I waited in vain for the other little girl to emerge. He looked worried. He kept glancing at me nervously and running his hands through his hair.
"Isabel, there's something I have to tell you," he said seriously, taking my free hand in his.
Simultaneously, our cell phones rang. I fished my cell out of my back pocket. "Hello?"
"Izzy? It's Maria. Where are you? You sound like you're in a tunnel."
"Something like that," I replied, knowing now was not the time to deal with a worried sister. "What's up?"
"What's up? It's seven in the morning and you're god knows where, and you ask me what's up?"
I winced. "Oops. I kind of lost track of time. Do Mom and Dad know yet?"
"No." I could practically hear her grinning. "Dad got called out to deal with a hit and run at six am, and Mom just left for an early-morning faculty meeting. So you're safe. But Izzy, you've got to get home right away. Dad could be back any minute."
"Okay, I'm on my way. I'll be home in about twenty minutes - cover for me?"
"You got it, chica."
"Thanks." I pressed end and grabbed Alex's hand. He looked slightly dazed, just staring at the phone in his hand. "Come on," I told him, pulling him out of the cave after me. I spared the time for one last glance around as the entrance slid shut, and then started down the rocky embankment. "Everyone's wondering where we are."
He nodded and climbed into the passenger's seat of my jeep, finally shaking off his stupor. "Who was on the phone?" I asked, wondering what could have affected his mood so much.
"My sister," he told me flatly. Shivers ran down my spine. His voice sounded dead.
My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. "We have to talk." His voice was still that scary monotone. "You know I love you. But now I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"
I swallowed nervously. "Yes."
*
Part Thirty-Eight - Alex
"Isabel, there's something I have to tell you," I said seriously, taking her free hand in mine.
And then our cell phones rang, loud in the stark silence of the cave. I pulled mine out of my pocket, mentally cursing the day Tess convinced me to buy the damn thing.
"Hello?" I said, making my annoyance clear.
"Alex? Where are you? Max and Michael are here, and they're pissed. Isabel Evans wasn't at home when they went to get her. You know, to tell her." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "If she's with you, they're gonna throw a fit."
"She's with me," I admitted, dazedly.
"Is she? You know."
I glanced at Izzy, saw her animatedly talking to someone on her cell phone. I grimaced, swallowing the bad taste that came in my mouth. I was betraying her, right after she'd trusted me with the most important secret in her life. "Yes."
Tess sighed loudly. "I know this is hard for you."
"You have no idea," I snapped, venting my frustrations.
"I probably won't ever know, either." My sister's voice sounded sad, and I felt guilty for hurting her, on top of my guilt for what I was doing to Izzy.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," she said, and I could practically see her waving her hand dismissively. Then her voice turned serious. "They're going to be waiting for you both at Isabel's house. As soon as I finish getting my stuff, we're leaving."
"Damn," I whispered, cutting the line and simply staring at the phone in my hand. And then Isabel grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the cave behind her, into the early-morning sunlight, chattering happily as she climbed in the jeep. Little did she know the world as she knew it was about to come crashing down around her shoulders.
All because of me.
And now I'm going to lose the most important person in my life.
No. I shook my head firmly. I wasn't going to give her up, not without a fight, no matter what happened.
"Who was on the phone?" she asked cautiously.
"My sister," I told her flatly, my voice sounding dead to my own ears. Her hands clutched at the steering wheel as she stared straight ahead, and I winced a little. "We have to talk." I paused, not wanting to scare her more than I had to. "You know I love you. But now I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"
I could see her swallow nervously. "Yes."
"There's some people that are going to be waiting for us at your place, and I need you to remember that I love you, no matter what they may say."
She glanced at me, and I could see her bottom lip was trembling. "You're scaring me," she said in a tiny voice.
I sighed, running my fingers through my rumpled hair. "I know," I said as we rounded the corner to her street. I could see the Evans jeep and my own car parked outside her house, and there wasn't time to say anything more. "Just trust me," I told her, a little desperately, as she pulled into her driveway, and the front door of her house swung open, revealing her siblings, my sister and the rest of the merry little band of alien followers. "It'll all be okay."
I hope.
*
Part Thirty-Nine - Isabel
I shut off the motor and barely managed to climb out of the jeep before Mia launched herself on me.
"I was so worried when I woke up and you weren't there! Don't ever do that to me again!"
I smiled and hugged her back as Kyle looped his arm around my shoulder in a kind of half-hug. He gave me a grin that told me he was just as worried as Mia had been, but he was a lot calmer than our fiery sister.
That Michael boy snickered, and Mia pulled back, glaring at him. Kyle and I exchanged amused glances; we both knew from personal experience that you never messed with Maria Valenti when she was having a family moment and lived to tell the story. No matter what else was going on in her life, to Mia - and all of us, really - family always came first…and now Michael, as much as she might like him, was going to find that out the hard way.
I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in my laughter as she stalked across the front lawn towards him, and gave silent thanks that it was so early most of our neighbours weren't up yet. Quietly, like a big cat stalking it's prey, she circled him a few times, and confused, he kept twisting to face her. Finally, she took a few steps closer to him. "Don't. You. Ever. Laugh. At. Me. Again," she told him, accentuating each word with a poke of one finger.
He was easily a head taller than my tiny sister, but he just nodded silently. But it was obvious that Mia had caught his attention by the way he stared at her as she pivoted and walked back to Kyle and me.
Mia linked arms with me and pulled me inside, leaving the others to trail behind. "Dad won't be back until after we leave for school, so you don't have anything to worry about from our parents," she whispered. "But these guys came looking for you earlier, and they refused to leave. Said they'd wait for you to get back."
"Any idea what they want?"
She shook her head and plopped down on the couch beside me. "No. And I don't like it one bit," she added as Kyle led everyone else into our living room.
I risked a glance at Alex, who looked panicked. I smiled at him, trying to get him to calm down, but he just seemed to get more agitated. Mia nudged me, and I decided to take the initiative. I was on home turf, right? I had the advantage, not them, and if there's anything I learned from my dad over the years, it's to use what you're given. "To what do I owe the honour?"
I watched as Max and Michael exchanged speaking looks. "We know what you are," Max said simply.
Mia grabbed my hand and squeezed it painfully as the words echoed in my head as Kyle moved between where we were seated on the sofa and the rest of them protectively. For a second, the world seemed to swim in front of my eyes, and then I steeled myself.
"What are you talking about?" I was amazed my voice sounded so calm and level.
"We know where you come from," Tess said softly.
I looked at her, sitting off to the side next to her brother.
Alex. His face…he looked worried, sad…guilty.
He knew…
"Yeah, Albuquerque," I told her, tossing my hair and standing up. I'm not the Ice Princess for nothing. "That's no big secret. What's with all the drama?"
"We know where you really come from, so cut the crap," Michael told me. "We know you're an alien."
The world went quiet, and all I could hear was the rapid thump of my heartbeat. I fought back the tears that threatened to escape as I remembered the phone call from his sister. He'd betrayed me already.
"Get out."
Michael's head snapped up to look at me. "We're not going to-"
"Get the hell out. Now," I screamed, cutting him off. I swivelled to face him. Alex. "Don't ever come near me again," I whispered.
"Isabel, I love you," Alex said desperately.
"You heard her," Kyle said, grabbing both him and Michael by their arms and pushing them towards the door. "Leave my sister the hell alone, or I swear I'll make you both regret the day you were born!"
Liz gave me a sympathetic look as she passed by, pulling Max with her as Tess trailed behind them. "I'm sorry," she said.
I heard the door slam, and I felt something break inside of me. My legs gave out, and I collapsed on the floor, where the tears came. Mia pulled my head onto her lap and stroked my hair as Kyle watched helplessly.
"It'll be okay," she kept whispering, as I cried harder, picturing his face, shining in the pale moonlight, telling me he loved me.
I hope…
*
Part Forty - Alex
I could see it in their eyes when I got out of the jeep. The sympathy in Tess', the worry in Liz's. The cold fury in Michael's, the betrayal in Max's.
I knew it was all going to go to hell in a few minutes, and I would lose her, once and for all. I would lose Isabel, the only girl I've ever loved.
Tess hugged me briefly as Isabel and Mia talked. "It'll be ok," she whispered. But I could see that she didn't believe her words any more than I did.
I looked up when I heard Michael snicker. Tess pulled away, and I could see her surreptitiously inching closer to Kyle.
Then Maria stalked towards Michael like an enraged virago, and circled him. Michael actually seemed impressed when she warned him not to mess with her anymore.
And then she grabbed Izzy and pulled her into their house, leaving Kyle to escort the rest of us in. I could see the sisters whispering, their blonde heads close together, and I felt my heart clench. This could be the last time I was ever near Isabel Valenti, ever again.
She smiled at me from across the room, and I tried to hide my panic, but I know she saw right through it. She knows me, maybe better than anyone else…the same way I know her.
And that'll make it that much more difficult if I lose her.
"To what do I owe the honour?" she asked.
I watched as Max and Michael exchanged speaking looks. "We know what you are," Max said simply.
Dammit, Max! I wanted to scream. You're going to scare her…don't you know how frightened she is that her secret will come out?
I wanted to grab her hand and drag her out of the room, protect her, but I couldn't. The truth was coming out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I watched as Maria grabbed her hand and Kyle moved between where his sisters were seated on the sofa and the rest of us protectively. I choked back a bark of laughter. No one could protect her now, not even me.
Especially not me.
I think that's what hurts the most. I failed her. And now I'm going to lose her, lose us, before we ever really had a chance to find us.
Her face turned a sickly, translucent grey-white, and for a minute, I was scared she was going to pass out.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice perfectly even, perfectly calm. I was the only one who heard that little tremor of fear.
"We know where you come from," Tess said softly.
Her eyes flicked from Tess to me, and I knew the minute she realized that they knew her secret…because of me. Her face hardened, and her eyes grew steely.
"Yeah, Albuquerque," she said her, tossing her long hair and standing up. Doing the whole Ice Princess act that allowed her to hide all of her hurts from the world. Didn't she know it wouldn't work with me? "That's no big secret. What's with all the drama?"
"We know where you really come from, so cut the crap," Michael told me. "We know you're an alien."
The world went quiet, and all I could hear was the rapid thump of my heartbeat. I watched her face turn even paler, if that was even possible. And in that moment, I knew I lost the most important thing in my life.
"Get out."
Michael's head snapped up to look at her, and I wanted to scream, to yell, to beg, to plead, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. I'd lost her already. "We're not going to-"
"Get the hell out. Now," she screamed, cutting him off. She swivelled to face me. "Don't ever come near me again," she whispered. Her voice sounded dead, a scary monotone.
No…
Anything but this…my worst nightmare, my biggest fear, come to life.
I had to try. I couldn't give her up without a fight.
"Isabel, I love you," I said desperately. I didn't care who heard me say it. I didn't care about the pained looks Tess and Liz gave me, the surprise in Max's eyes, the shock in Michael's. Nothing else mattered except Isabel.
"You heard her," Kyle said, grabbing both me and Michael by our arms and pushing us towards the door. "Leave my sister the hell alone, or I swear I'll make you both regret the day you were born!"
Then I was on the front lawn, and the door slammed behind us.
And in that moment, I could swear I actually heard my heart breaking.
*
Part Forty-One - Isabel
"Izzy?" Mia asked cautiously, some time later. I really had no idea how long I had been lying on the floor, crying for a lost love, a secret betrayed…a life forfeit. "Kyle called Mom and told her you were sick. She said you could stay home…I'll stay with you, if you want."
I shook my head, willing my tears to stop, and offered her a weak, watery smile. "Go to school. I'll be okay…I just need to think."
I glanced at my sister, and I could see the concern radiating off her face, but somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to care. It was like a haze had enveloped my body, turning my heart to ice and obliterating my emotions, protecting me from the pain that surrounded me.
Protecting me from him.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine…it was just a…shock."
"You don't have to worry about them, Iz. No one hurts my sister and gets away with it. They'll never even look at you again," Kyle promised.
If only my big brother could help…
No one can help me. But I can help myself…I can protect my family in the only way I know how.
The ice around my heart melted a little.
I hugged Mia and Kyle tightly before they left for school, trying to absorb everything about them, trying to show them how much I love them, how much they've meant to me…how much they'll always mean to me.
The lock clicked shut behind them, and my emotions came flooding back. I fought back a semi-hysterical giggle. The men in white coats wouldn't let a simple lock stop them from snatching me away.
And they would come, I knew. It was just a matter of when. Maybe tonight while I slept, maybe during breakfast tomorrow.
Would my mother cry? Would Daddy try and stop them?
Would they test Kyle because I healed him? Would they tell Mia - my sister, my best friend - how much she meant to me?
Would they even tell my family what they did to me? Would they hurt them for taking me in, making me a Valenti?
I wouldn't let that happen. I would be long gone before they came.
I owed the people I loved that much, at the very least.
The tears came again, and this time, I made no attempt to stop them. Quickly, I packed a bag of the things that meant the most to me and wrote a letter to the only family I had ever known, the only family I ever wanted to know, and I told them goodbye.
I waved a hand over my head, and my long blonde hair turned short and brown, my brown eyes turned green. A stranger's face stared back at me, and I smiled a little, but I couldn't bear to leave my entire identity behind, not quite yet. I pulled on Mia's blue t-shirt, the one we'd bought together when we went shopping the last time, and Dad's sweater, the one that still smelled of smoke from our last family camp-out, and I began to feel a little safer in this strange new body. I grabbed the keys to my jeep, slipping my copy of the house key off the ring and laying it on the kitchen counter. I wouldn't need it anymore.
I threw my bag in the backseat and started the engine, driving sedately down the street and to the city limits. There, by the 'you are now leaving Roswell' sign, I pulled over. With a wave of my hand, I altered the colour of my jeep and changed the license plate and registration numbers, and another facet of Isabel Valenti disappeared.
I started the engine again, and with one last look in the rearview mirror, I drove away, while silent tears dripped down my cheeks.
And in that moment, I could swear I actually heard my heart breaking.
*
Part Forty-Two - Alex
"What the hell were you thinking, Alex? We don't know anything about her. She could be working with her father, for all we know! She could be trying to kill us!"
Tess gave me a compassionate glance and then shot Michael a bored look. "And she could be just as confused and scared as we are, Michael. Did you see the expression on her face this morning? Total shock. She was scared to death. I'd stake my life on it."
"Oh, really, Tess? Because if we believe your brother over there, you just may be. She's not a harmless little girl like you two seem to think. She's a walking time bomb."
"Michael, she did seem scared," Max told his brother calmly. "Let's hear Alex's side before we start jumping to conclusions. What were you two doing together?"
I swallowed hard, knowing I had to tell them the truth. "We were at the cave."
"The cave?" Liz whispered. "You mean their cave?"
"It's her cave too," I reminded Liz, fighting to keep the sudden burst of anger that shot through me from invading my voice. Everyone seemed to forget that Isabel wasn't just a stranger. She was part of them, too.
"How does she even know where it is?" Tess asked, tilting her head to the side and absently playing with a carrot stick. "We searched the desert for years before we found it. And it took us even longer to figure out how to get in."
I shrugged. Then something caught my eye. Someone was moving rapidly toward us.
Kyle Valenti barreled through the people gathered in the quad for lunch, his sister Maria trailing behind him, with an equally determined expression on her face. But before I could say anything, he was there. He slammed his hands onto the table, making Tess and Liz jump slightly. "Stay away from my sister," he warned us, looking us all in the eye, one by one.
"I wouldn't threaten us if you know what's good for you, Valenti."
"Oh, no? Why's that, Michael?" Maria asked. "I'm sure my father would be really interested in hearing how you attacked my sister this morning."
"We didn't lay a hand on her," Michael growled, but through all his bravado, I could see his fear. Sheriff Valenti - former FBI agent Valenti - was the stuff nightmares were made of for him.
Maria saw right through him. She arched an eyebrow at Michael, a gesture I recognized from Isabel, and for an instant, I wondered who had picked up the expression from whom. "Verbally assaulted, then. Either way, he'll be very interested in knowing that you're the reason my sister is at home right now in bed, crying her eyes out."
A pang of guilt ran through me, and my mouth ran dry as I pictured her alone and scared. You did that to her, I told myself harshly.
"You," Kyle said, pointing at me. "You stay away from her. You've hurt her enough."
"Look, I don't know what you think we've done to Isabel, but-" Max began.
"I was there. I know exactly what you did to her. And I was there after you left, as she lay on the floor crying. I don't know what kind of sick town we moved to, where sick people like you make up lies to scare someone. But if you don't stay away from Izzy, then I'll make you regret the day you were born."
"Oh my god," Tess breathed, bringing her hand up to her mouth. "We didn't tell her about us."
Liz paled slightly. "No wonder she was so scared…"
"What are you two talking about?" Maria asked wearily.
I could see Tess trying to figure out an easy way to say it, and then come to the same conclusion that I had already realized. There was no easy way to say something like that, and I had found that out the hard way. "We're aliens, too," she said quietly.
Both Maria and Kyle looked puzzled for a second, but I saw the moment her words hit home. Kyle's eyes widened and his clenched fists went slack while Maria slowly sank onto the bench.
Kyle cleared his throat. "All of you?" he asked hoarsely.
Max shook his head. "Just me, Michael and Tess. Liz and Alex are…like you."
"You couldn't tell her that?" Maria hissed furiously. "You couldn't have said, 'Oh, gee, Isabel, the reason we're curious is because we're from the same place.' Would that have been so hard? She thinks men in white suits are going to come and take her away!"
My heart wrenched painfully, and I made a split-second decision. "I'm going to tell her the rest of it," I told them, my voice determined. There was no way any of them were going to stop me. I couldn't bear to leave her there, scared, for a minute longer than necessary.
Kyle grabbed my arm. "You're not getting near my sister unless I'm there."
"I'm going, too. Someone's gonna have to pick up the pieces after you hurt her again," she spat at me.
"I won't hurt her. I love her," I told her.
Maria stared at me for a second, and finally nodded. "No, I don't think you will," she said softly, almost to herself. She turned to the others. "Are you coming or not?"
"We're coming," Max answered for the others, stepping into his natural role as leader.
Tess grabbed my hand as we all piled into our cars, squeezing it tightly. "It'll be okay," she promised. "She'll understand, and everything will be okay again."
The drive to the Valenti house was quick, but to me, it seemed like an eternity. I jumped out of the jeep almost before Max had stopped it, and followed Maria and Kyle into the house.
"Izzy? It's Mia and Kyle. Everything's okay," Maria called, running upstairs. A minute later, she was back. "She's not up there," she said with a frown.
"She's not here," Kyle told her. His voice sounded wooden, and his skin had taken on a sickly grey hue. "She's gone."
A letter fluttered from his hands to the floor, and Mia caught it. "Oh god," she cried, and with a strangled gasp, she slid to the floor, following the paper's route.
Isabel was gone. The girl I loved was out there, somewhere, afraid and alone.
Bile rose in my throat. I've lost her, and it's all my fault.
*
Part Forty-Three - Isabel
I stopped trying to fight the tears that ran down my cheeks as I sped along the highway, each mile that passed taking me further and further away from my worst nightmare…and my most treasured dream. The road swam in front of me as the tears blurred my sight, but I couldn't summon enough emotion to care anymore. I was drained, physically and mentally… but still, the tears came. And I didn't care, I realized detachedly. It really wouldn't matter too much to me if I crashed. After all - everything I thought I had to live for was back in Roswell.
How could he do this to me? How could he take away everything that meant something to me - my family, my home…my heart…
Shivers ran down my spine as I pictured my family. Mia crying, brokenheartedly, as Kyle held her stoically. He'd cry, late at night, when he was alone, I knew.
And my parents. Oh, god, my parents…this would kill them.
Almost as much as it was killing me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. The rushing wind stole my words away, and girlishly, I half-hoped they found their way back home.
Home. Roswell.
Less than a week, and it was already home. The place I dreaded, the place that haunted my memories and my nightmares as it simultaneously called my name. Even now, miles and miles away, I could still feel its pull. The pull of my family…and the pull of my past. The place I could never risk returning to, not ever again.
I've never felt so very alone in my life.
Then I straightened my shoulders and waved my hand over my face to eradicate any trace of the tears. No matter what, Isabel Valenti does not simply give up. Retreat and regroup, sure. But she sure as hell doesn't give up.
I blinked away the last tears and started concentrating on the road. I really had no idea where I was - I had simply wanted to put as much distance between me and Roswell as possible - and it didn't particularly matter.
I shook my head firmly to banish negative thoughts, and leaned over to flick on the radio as I squinted at the road sign in front of me. The turn-off to Albuquerque.
I choked back a semi-hysterical giggle. Figures. I lose my home, and I head back to the only other home I've ever known. But there's nothing there for me anymore, I realized, as I fought back more tears, and headed further north towards Santa Fe. It was just as good a place as any. It didn't matter anymore.
Nothing mattered. I don't belong anywhere.
And I don't know if I'll ever find the way home.
*
Part Forty-four - Alex
Knowing that I was responsible wasn't the worst part.
The not knowing hurt more. Not knowing what happened to her, not knowing if she was alive or dead. That's what kept me awake at night. That, and the knowledge that she was out there somewhere, alone, all because of me.
Tess and Liz keep telling me it's not my fault. I just shake my head and walk away. I know the truth, just as well as they do. Isabel Valenti would be safe at home if it wasn't or me. And if I doubted that for a second, all I had to do was look at her family.
Amy Valenti's eyes are permanently red-rimmed and puffy now, it seems. She's taken a leave of absence from her job, and she spends the entire day calling youth shelters and hospitals and sheriff's offices across the country. I've sat across her kitchen table and watched her. Her hands shake so badly as she dials the numbers that it sometimes takes two or three attempts to punch in the numbers correctly. As the day wears on, her face turns a sickly grayish colour, and I know it's only a matter of time before she collapses entirely. That's when I call Sheriff Valenti, and he leads her upstairs to her missing daughter's bed, where she'll lay, sobbing, until she finally cries herself to sleep.
Jim Valenti…he's aged a year in the last two weeks. Occasionally, I'll wonder how we ever feared this man. His absolute adoration of his missing child is obvious in every word he speaks, every step he takes, every breath he takes. But his strength is what I admire the most. Through all the phone calls, faxes, appeals to the public, the only time I've seen him cry is when he realized she had taken his sweater with her. But he's just as scared as Mrs. Valenti. Sometimes, I'll see him sitting alone in her room, clutching an old doll or teddy bear, and I can almost hear his heart breaking.
Mia seems broken, fragile…the strong, happy girl I met is gone, and I'm not sure she'll ever come back if her sister doesn't return. She clings to Michael like a life preserver…when she's with him, it's the only time she doesn't cry. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but if it wasn't for his support, I really think this would have crushed her spirit.
Kyle, in the beginning, put on a good front. I think he really believed that she'd be back in a day or two, that she wasn't gone for good. But then a day passed, then another and another, and still she didn't come back. On the fourth day, he lost it. And I watched from the shadows in the backyard as my baby sister dropped the ground and rocked him as he cried. They haven't been separated since.
Then I look at Liz and Max. They're each other's rock, and they're coping, although I know that Max feels almost as guilty as I do. Liz spends her time in the kitchen, cooking enough food for a small army, while Max organizes the ground search parties.
And me? I'm haunted. The image of her eyes, swimming with unshed tears, the way they were when I last saw her, haunts me. The musical tinkle of her laugh - a laugh I was beginning to think I would never hear again - echoes in my mind. The brilliance of her smile radiates through my memory.
I've stayed at her house, with her family, since she left. I've tried to help them, any way I can. I owe them that much. I took their daughter, their sister, their friend from them. I made Isabel leave. And I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.
I can feel her moving further away from me with every passing minute. And every second without her, I'm dying a little inside. I feel like I don't belong in my own skin anymore. I don't belong anywhere, not without Izzy.
And I don't know if I'll ever find the way home.
*
Part Forty-Five - Isabel
I tried to fight it. I really did. I holed up in a little dive of a motel outside of Santa Fe for nearly a week and I cried all day. And at night, I visited their dreams, and my heart broke a little more.
Finally, the waiting and the silence got to be too much for me, and I began driving again, further north. But even that got to be too much.
I saw their faces everywhere. I had to fight the impulse to run up to strangers and beg them to forgive me.
I tried to be strong. I tried to tell myself that I was doing the best thing for everyone - for them, for me...and for him - no matter how much I hurt. No matter how much I needed them, no matter how much I missed them.
With every mile marker I passed, every minute that went by, the urge to go back home grew stronger. And finally, I gave into it.
I had never felt so relieved as when I spotted the outskirts of Roswell. But I knew I couldn't go back, no matter how much I wanted it. Their lives, and mine, depended on it. And I tried to convince myself that simply being near them was enough.
So I went to the cave. It was the only home I had left.
But it hurt almost as much to be there. Everything reminded me of him...Alex...and it made me remember everything about that one magical, perfect night. Sometimes, I even fancied I could still smell him, feel him. I wanted to go to him more than anything, to yell at him for betraying me, to hug him and make him promise he'd never let me leave again.
Those nights, those long, endless nights that I stayed awake, staring at the glowing green light from the pods, I remembered.
And I wished, with all my might, that he would sense me, somehow, and help me find my way home.
*
Part Forty-Six – Alex
Every day, her absence ate away at a little more of my soul. Every night, my dreams were empty, alone. I never knew I could miss anyone – especially someone I barely knew, yet knew better than anyone else on the planet, all at the same time – as much as I missed her. The only thing I did know is that her absence was killing us all a little more each day.
It should have been obvious, I guess. I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out…pain, maybe? Or maybe neither one of us was ready for me to figure it out. Because finding her meant we both had to deal with what had happened – the hurt and the fear and the lies and the half-truths. And maybe neither of us was quite ready to deal with that yet.
So I walked around in that pain-filled haze, day after day, night after night. Until one night. My eyes popped open from another lonely dream, but this time, I didn't feel the aching reminder of what had happened. I felt her. I just knew where she was, without a doubt or a reason. And I knew nothing was going to keep us apart, anymore.
In some ways, it was like the first night I went to her - the night that began and ended everything for us. It was hot and sultry, and my clothes clung to my body as I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. But this time, I vowed, there wasn't going to be any goodbyes. I was going to bring her home, where she belonged, if it was the last thing I did.
I grabbed my car keys and tip-toed down the hall, knowing that there was no reasonable explanation I could give my parents for my midnight jaunt. Naturally, though, my attempt at absolute silence and haste meant I forgot to skip the squeaky step on the stairs.
Tess heard me leaving, and ran after me, carrying her sneakers in one hand and struggling to pull on a jacket with the other. "I'm coming with you," she hissed, and I didn't want to waste the time arguing with her. She was still wearing her pajama bottoms and a tank top, and I refused to wait long enough to let her change. She just climbed into the car and hung on for dear life as I peeled out of the driveway.
"Where are we going?" she asked finally, after watching me run two stop signs and a red light in silence.
"I know where she is, Tess," I told her calmly, wincing a little at her screech of surprise.
"What? Where is she?"
"The cave. Your cave."
Tess looked just as stunned as I'd felt when I woke up and realized we'd looked everywhere for her except the one place she'd actually go. Then she shook her tangled curls and dug her cell phone out of her coat pocket.
"No one else can know, Tessie," I warned her, pulling a sharp left out of town.
"Kyle and Maria need to know, Alex. And so do Michael and Max and Liz. We're just as much to blame for this as you are," she added softly. "It's going to take all of us to get her back."
I glanced at her, nodded, and then hit the gas peddle. She could call them, and they could come…but I was going to be their first. Because no matter what Tess said, this was my fault. And if I ever wanted the future with her that I knew we could have, I'd have to be the one to find her.
Hold on, Isabel. I'm coming, I told her silently as we sped up a little more.
*