FINDING THE WAY HOME – 4
Part 47 – Isabel
I didn't want to need him. I didn't want to want him.
But I do.
The cave…when I was really little, I'd think about it, all the time. Some days, the thought of it scared me so much that I'd start screaming for my mother and sister in broad daylight, knowing that the only other people connected to me had left me once, scared that they would leave me, too. For the rest of the day, I couldn't let them out of my sight, scared that the hand of god would reach down and snatch them out of my life. Those nights, Mom would take me and Mia into her big bed and we'd all sleep together.
A few times, I even tried telling my mom and Mia about the boys. Mom just passed it off as fears that stemmed from my abandonment. She'd rant about evil people who never deserved to have children for a few days, and I'd keep her in sight at all times. Eventually, I'd start sleeping in my own bed again, and it would all be forgotten.
My irrational fears didn't stop when Mom married Daddy, like she thought. It's just that after I understood what I was, I was even more frightened that I had been before. But I couldn't share it with my family anymore. Even at seven, I knew that they were in danger because of me, because of my secrets.
Over time, the knowledge of the cave seemed comforting, in a strange way. I was connected to this place, the same way I'm connected to him.
That's how I knew he was there, before the door in the rockface even slid open. I watched the two of them step through and pause for a moment, waiting for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.
I knew the second he saw me, curled up on the ground next to my pod. He didn't run towards me – I think he knew that would be the exact worst thing he could do – but I heard the soft sigh of relief and saw his sister clutch his arm.
In all the nights we've been apart, I wondered how this meeting would go. Would the feelings I had for him make me forgive him? Would the fact that he loved me make his betrayal okay? Would he apologize? Would I run into his arms?
None of that happened. We just looked at each other in absolute silence while his sister watched us.
And then it happened. It's like the air around us started to hum, then solidify, becoming as thick as taffy and drawing us together like metal to a magnet. Our connection grew, and suddenly, we were somewhere else, a place where only the two of us existed. A place with no past, no hurts, no worries. There were no more questions or doubts or fears, because in that second, we could read each other's hearts.
Then the spell was broken, and time began again. Slowly, he walked towards me and pulled me to my feet. "Welcome home," he whispered.
*
Part 48 – Alex
"Home? I don't know where that is, not anymore…" Her voice was barely a whisper, and I had to strain to understand her. Her eyes were filled with so much fear and so much emptiness that my heart hurt for her. I caused this. Me.
"Isabel…they're…not from around here, either. Max and Michael, they're the boys that left you that night," I choked out desperately, and pointed frantically over my shoulder to where my sister stood, crying. "Tess is the girl you told me about, the one you waited for."
"No," she cried, shaking her head frantically, tears running from her eyes and dripping off her chin. "I don't believe you. I don't believe you!"
"It's true," I said, begging her to believe me.
She backed away from me slowly, her entire body trembling. I tried reaching out to her, tried to tell her it was okay, and my fingers brushed her shoulder, when she jerked away almost violently.
That's when it happened. She collided with the glowing green pod – the one I knew she had come from – and it collapsed. She fell backward, if that was even possible, and disappeared. I heard Tess gasp even as I ran forward. My heart was pounding so loudly that I couldn't hear anything else. And in that second, I knew what it felt like when people say their blood runs cold.
Because mine did. I couldn't lose her again. Not now. Not after I'd just gotten her back.
"Isabel!" I cried, pushing through the green goo and diving in after her. I could hear Maria Valenti babbling in near-hysteria behind me, and Tess' soft tone of reassurance, but none of that mattered. Nothing mattered but her.
My shoulder hit the ground hard as I landed in an undignified heap in the cavernous room. Carefully, I sat up, hoping I hadn't broken anything, and glanced around. The room was a perfect cylinder, the rocky walls of the outer chamber replaced by strange metallic panels. A huge crystal dominated the center of the room, casting an odd, almost iridescent light around us.
"Isabel," I whispered again. I wanted to shout her name, but I couldn't. Because whatever this place was, anger and fear and negative emotions didn't belong here. It was a place of peace, of near holiness. A place so foreign, so alien, that I knew nothing on our world could ever compare.
"I'm here," she breathed, and my neck swiveled until I spotted her, huddled on the floor by the crystal. Her fingers were hovering just above the crystal's surface, and her face was suffused with a joy I'd never seen before. With the shimmering light hitting her hair from behind, she looked like an angel.
My angel.
"I'm sorry," I told her softly. "I didn't tell them, I swear. They're just as scared as you are. They don't want to hurt you…I don't want to hurt you."
Her voice was gentle, but I could see the tears shining in her eyes. But there was something else there, too. Hope. "I can't forget the past," she warned. "It wasn't good…but it was real."
"I don't want you to," I promised.
She took a breath and her eyes fluttered closed. Then, her other hand reached towards me, and my heart jumped. "Maybe…maybe this time, we can get it right."
*
Part 49 – Isabel
His hands traced my face, and I shivered. "I'm not promising anything," I whispered, knowing that he could see right through my feeble lie. I was promising him something.
I was promising him me.
And was that really so wrong? In that mad dash from Roswell, I thought it was, when I took the time to think at all. He could destroy me, hurt me, break my heart…so why did I think it was worth it?
I searched his blue eyes, the blue eyes that haunted me every time I closed my eyes, and I knew the answer. It was worth it.
Because it meant I could have him.
It was worth the fight, worth the pain. Because in the end, our love matters.
The others clattered inside, breaking us out of our trance. "Izzy!" Mia cried, launching herself into my arms and pushing Alex out of the way. I laughed joyously as Kyle joined us, making an Izzy-sandwich, feeling the bond, the connection spring up between us again, something I hadn't even know I'd lost.
"Don't you ever leave again," Kyle whispered hoarsely, tugging both of us to our feet. His arm was still wrapped around my shoulders protectively, and Mia was still clutching me, almost as tightly as I was holding on to her. They were my family, and I belonged with them, no matter what. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out.
"I promise," I whispered, burying my face in Mia's shoulder as he pulled us into a bear hug.
We stayed that way for what felt like forever, but was really only a matter of moments. Finally, I pulled myself apart, squeezing Mia's hand when she whimpered in protest. And then I stood tall and faced them. I'd changed my appearance back to normal a while ago, and I was absurdly grateful. Because this was how I needed to meet them. As the real me, Isabel Valenti. I'm strong, and I'm damned proud of it. I kept my secret – our secret – and protected my family. I stood on my own two feet and survived after they left me. And if they didn't want me the way I was, then too damned bad.
"I'm sorry for the way things happened," Tess said quietly. She paused for a second, laying her hand on my arm gently as tears welled up in her eyes. "After you…left, Alex told me that you'd waited for me that night in the cave. It felt so…lonely, waking up there alone….thank-you."
I gave her a watery smile and pulled her into a hug, knowing we'd just formed a bond – a shared past, and a shared love for Alex.
As one, we turned to face Max and Michael. The two brothers stared at us silently, and I'm sure our faces echoed theirs. Beside me, Alex's hand reached for mine, our fingers tangling together comfortingly, giving me courage to do what needed to be done.
"Hello…my name is Izzy Valenti, and I've spent my whole life waiting for you to find your way back to me."
*
Part 50 – Alex
Her eyes looked so hopeful as she looked up at them, and my heart went out to her. In that instant, she seemed so young, so fragile, and I hoped desperately that they wouldn't hurt her any more than they already had. But I knew she wasn't fragile. She was strong. Things hurt her – I hurt her – but she didn't break. She bent, and maybe she lost some of her innocence in the process, but she survived.
I just hoped she wouldn't have to survive any more. She deserves to live.
Max swallowed, and my eyes dropped to the hand he held out to her. She glanced at me, and I gave her fingers one last squeeze. Then I stepped back, and watched.
Her hand reached for his, and then their palms touched tentatively, and it was like a spark ran through them, spurring them to action. Max pulled her into a fierce hug, the same kind of brotherly hug I'd seen Kyle give her earlier, and finally, I understood he was just as worried about her while she was gone as the rest of us were, despite his calm exterior.
Max stepped back, one of his hands still resting on her shoulder, the other reaching for Tess' hand, as we silently watched Michael. He didn't move at first, and then, suddenly, he stepped forward. He didn't touch her – just stood, looking at her. She stared back, silently, and her eyes were carefully guarded, the murky depths churning with untold emotion. To anyone else, it would've looked like they were in a staring contest.
But I knew better. I could feel the energy around them tingling, and I could almost see them reading each other's souls. I could almost feel the bond, the connection, that sprung up between them, a remembered connection that ran so deep it was almost tangible. I could almost hear the silent communication between them, the 'I'm sorry' and the 'that's okay' that was left unspoken.
Then they both smiled, and Michael pulled her into a hug.
That was when Tess stumbled, and her hand brushed against the shimmering crystal that dominated the room, and everything went to hell.
*
Part 51 – Isabel
A high-pitched whine filled the air, and the light from the big crystal-like thing grew blinding. My eyes shut automatically, and I stumbled when someone grabbed me and pulled me away. My back collided with the metal of the walls, which was somehow heating up and almost throbbing with energy, and I felt strong arms wrap around me.
Alex.
His hands brushed across my face, and I opened my eyes to see his worried face. I smiled a little, even as my hands shook in fear, and held him tighter.
"What's happening?" my brother screamed, and even though he was only a few feet away, I had to strain to hear him. He was holding a trembling Tess in his arms, and I automatically searched the room for Mia, suddenly scared that something had happened to her. There was Liz and Max, on the far side of the room…and there was my sister, huddled on the floor in Michael's arms, and I sighed in relief.
Alex's eyes followed mine, and he gave me a grim smile. "She'll be fine," he told me, his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath. "He may act like an idiot at times, but he's a good guy. And I think he loves her."
I nodded, feeling a little reassured, although the rational part of my mind told me I was crazy.
"We have to get out of here!" Liz screamed, as she and Max made their way over to us. My eyes searched for the opening my pod had made. I blinked twice, and actually rubbed my eyes with my hand…but it was gone. The opening was gone, and we were stuck here.
"How?" Mia cried, now beside me. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly, trying to reassure her even as I panicked. By now, we were all in a tight group, and I could see the fear in everyone's eyes. Tess was crying, and Kyle was trying to calm her down, and I'd never seen him look so grim…
The energy around us built, and you could almost feel the electrons buzzing around the room, as the whine became a scream and the light grew to a white-hot intensity. My eyes shut, and Alex's arms around me were almost bruising in their intensity.
And then, just as suddenly as it had started, everything stopped.
My eyes opened, and a beautiful woman, dressed in white, was bathed in the golden light of the crystal. For a moment, I wondered if I'd died, because she looked almost too ethereal to be part of this world.
And then she spoke, in a language that was strange and familiar all at once, her voice melodic and like nothing I'd ever heard before, yet something in me recognized.
Hello, children…*
Part 52 – Alex
Isabel trembled in my arms, and I heard Tess gasp as I fought to control the urge to grab them, the two most important women in my life, and run away. I'd finally gotten Isabel back – I wasn't about to lose her now.
"Alex," she whispered, her voice unsure and hopeful, all at the same time. "Do you think that's…my mother?"
"I don't know," I answered, simultaneously hoping that the woman was, for her sake, and wasn't, for mine.
If you are seeing me now, that means you are alive and well. I take this form because it will be familiar to you, and it will help you understand what I am about to say.
Isabel's hand clutched mine, and I saw tears forming on my sister's cheeks as she clung to Kyle.
You came from another world, a planet named Antar. Your father, my husband, was ruler, the last in a line of monarchs who ruled in peace for millennia. You are my children, my sons and my daughters, and your father and I love you so much. Zan, Rath, Vilandra, Ava. You were our pride, our hope, our love. You symbolized everything we wanted to leave the next generation as our legacy. But you were never given the chance.
"Oh my god…" she breathed, and I watched as the trembling girl in my arms gazed at the glowing woman standing before us.
When you were still children, our scientists came to us and told us our sun was exploding. They told us there was no hope of our survival. That night, your father and I devised a plan. We could not save everyone, and as much as we loved our people, we loved you children even more. We could not bear to let you die. So we gathered our most trusted scientists to us, and had them design a space craft for you.
Isabel was sobbing, her tears matching the silent ones that trickled down the woman's cheeks, and the pure agony that was reflected on the woman's face was enough to make me want to cry, too. I knew this woman loved the four of them, Isabel, Tess, Max and Michael. The heartbreaking ache in her eyes was the same look I saw in Amy Valenti's, after Isabel ran away.
It took many long months, and many sleepless nights, but just days before our sun became critical, the ship was finished. We placed you in stasis, my darlings, and sent you into space with the message, with the hope that you would find a safe planet, where you could grow up, happy and safe. And then, we enclosed this message, because we wanted you to know that no matter what – you are loved, my darlings, by your mother and your father. Always.
The image flickered once more, and then the woman faded away, leaving the cave silent except for the quiet sobs of Isabel and Tess and the ragged breaths of Max and Michael. Then, finally, Tess pulled away from Kyle and Isabel stepped out of my arms, and the two girls hugged tightly. Moments later, Michael and Max joined them, in a tight huddle of shared love and profound sadness.
Isabel was the first to pull away, and walked towards me, her eyes gazing unerringly into mine. Her hand wrapped around my neck, and I pulled her into my arms, and then her lips were covering mine, and I felt like I was flying, soaring…
*
Part 53 – Isabel
I tried to throw everything I was feeling into that kiss, as I clung to him as if there would be no tomorrow, no happily ever after, no fairytale ending to our story – the ending we deserved, the ending I would spend the rest of my life fighting for – because for the first time, I realized the truth. It could all end in an instant, as it did for my birth parents. And I'd almost ruined it already. I'd almost thrown everything away with my fears and mistrusts. Nothing would ever stop us anymore, I swore.
When we finally pulled apart, my fingers traced his face, memorizing his features. "Take me home," I whispered. "It's time I see my parents."
Behind us, Mia squealed happily, pulling me away from Alex into a happy hug. Kyle's arms came around me from behind, making an Izzy-sandwich, and I laughed, hugging them back. I may have gained some biological siblings, but I didn't know them. I'd never know them the way I knew Kyle and Maria, the brother and sister I'd grown up with, my best friends, my other halves, my partners in crime, my cheerleaders, my shoulders to cry on. They owned a big piece of my heart, and no siblings from outer space could ever replace them. And I knew they knew that, as we hugged.
We were all strangely on the way back into town. Michael was driving my jeep with Mia sitting next to him, while Alex sat in the back with me, holding me tightly. The closer we got to town, the more I trembled, and even I wasn't sure if it was from excitement or fear. But he didn't say anything, just stroked my hair soothingly and kissed my forehead gently.
I watched as Max and Tess stopped their cars in front of our house, and Alex grabbed my hand reassuringly. "It's going to be okay," he promised.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment, gathering my courage. "Would you guys mind waiting in the backyard? Mia and Kyle and I need to talk to our parents alone…I need to talk to my family."
Alex nodded, and kissed me again briefly, before stepping back, heading for the backyard, Max, Liz and Michael trailing behind him. Tess turned to go, too, but stopped. Her hand caught mine in a tight squeeze. "We're your family too…and we love you. We've been missing you, and we never stopped waiting for you to come home. I just wanted you to know that."
Then she was gone, and together, Kyle, Maria and I walked up to the front door. They were flanking me, offering their support, as I opened the front door and stepped inside. The hall was dimly lit and cluttered, a far cry from the place I had left, and I fought to stop the tears that threatened to fall again. "They missed me, huh?"
"We all missed you, Izzy," Maria whispered, giving me a watery smile, as Kyle nodded emphatically and pulled us towards the kitchen. "We love you – you're a part of this family. This is where you belong."
"They'll be in here," he whispered. "They've turned it into command central."
I nodded, and squeezed their hands tightly, once, and then dropped them. It was time for me to stand on my own two feet.
Slowly, I pushed open the door, and my breath caught as I saw my parents, pouring over maps and stacks of missing posters, with my face covering them. They looked haggered and worn, and I felt it like a punch in the gut. I was trying to keep them safe, from the men in white suits I'd been convinced were coming to take me away…but I'd never even imagined what losing a child would do to them, and I silently swore that I'd never leave them again. But I'd never have to…now I knew the truth. Roswell, this family, was my home.
"Mom? Daddy? I'm home."
*
Part 54 – Alex
It wasn't hard to hear Amy's cry of excitement or Jim shouting Isabel's name. I smiled a little, thankful that at last, the haunted look in Mrs. Valenti's eyes would fade away. Maybe now, some of the hurts would be laid to rest. Maybe now, we could all look to the future instead of dwelling in what ifs.
"Do you think she'll tell her parents?" Michael asked suddenly.
Liz shrugged, leaning back against Max's chest. "Would it be so bad if she did? You saw them, when she left. They love her."
"But…what if they tell? Valenti's FBI, after all…" Max said, looking at his girlfriend with real fear in his eyes.
Tess leaned against my arm and sighed. "Michael, Max, would your parents turn you in?" They hesitated, and finally shook their heads, almost in sync, and in that moment, I saw them as true brothers, and not just adoptive siblings. "The Valenti's won't, either. And it might be helpful if we had some adults on our side with connections like Sheriff Valenti's." Her voice dropped, and her fingers twisted the birthstone ring on her fingers that our parents had given her on her last birthday. "God knows I want to tell my mom and dad."
I pulled her into a one-armed hug, as I stared at the spot in the grass where Isabel had laid, that night when we began. She'd pulled me to her that night, like a moth to the flame, and I was helpless to resist. I didn't want to resist, not ever again.
I don't know how long we sat their, each of us lost in our own thoughts, before the back door swung open. Isabel's face was wet with tears as she made a beeline towards me, and I caught her in my arms, watching carefully as Kyle tugged my sister to her feet, kissing her carefully, and Michael's big hands traced Maria's face gently, carefully, as if she was made of glass.
"What happened?"
Her eyes were closed, her head resting right over my heart. "I told them everything…every lie, every secret…"
"How did they take it?"
Her eyes were swimming with tears as she finally looked up at me. "They said I was their daughter, no matter where I came from." She blinked rapidly, but it was a fighting battle, as more tears trickled down her face. I'd never seen her look so beautiful…. "I know someday, I may have to leave again – leave them, leave you – because of who I am…" her voice caught on a sob then, and she pulled away, almost folding in on herself as she cried. It was as if the turbulent emotions she'd been feeling all these weeks and months had finally exploded, and she was helpless to stop them.
"If you feel like leaving someday, I'm not going to try to make you stay," I told her, ignoring Maria's gasp of outrage and Kyle's near growl of dissatisfaction. "Because I will follow you anywhere you go. You can run and you can hide if you have to, but you can't escape the truth, Isabel. You can't escape the fact that I love you, and we belong together."
She was silent for a moment, so still that I don't think she was even breathing. And then, she moved towards me, a flurry of motion, crashing into my arms. Our lips met, and then I was the one who didn't breathe.
"I'm not running anymore, Alex…I've finally found my way home."
And with her in my arms, I have, too.
End.