A/N: I wrote this quite some time ago, back in 2000, I think. I completely forgot about it until I ran across the story while I was re-organizing the files on my hard drive. Enjoy!
Solitary
By: DangerMouse
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I played this wrong from the beginning.
I knew that when I started. It's as though I'm not in sync with my game, all my cards in the wrong places or, even worse, in the right places at the wrong time. I see another error - a mocking boy now uncovered, glaring at me with his dark, smoldering eyes. It reminds me of another boy I uncovered too soon. Or maybe I wasn't too soon for him, but for me. Isn't everything my fault, really? Didn't I start it all? I should never have moved the other, but it's too late now.
I'm stuck.
I curse.
I can see the solution now, so clearly. It was there the whole time. The one piece I need locked away behind a mountain of errors. I can't move up and I can't go back, not even one step. The clock continues to count down, shrinking my chances of salvaging this situation.
I stare impassively at my mistakes, all lined up for the world to see, one after another. I know that, if I wished, I could wipe the slate clean, start over. But who's to say I won't arrive at the same results again? I feel worthless. How can I protect those I care about, how can I save the souls of those who need it, if I can't even get this one, simple thing right?
I sit back in my chair, feeling that familiar feeling of despair work its way around my heart, slipping down to form a hard ball in my stomach. There it would stay, a constant, painful reminder of my own failings and inadequacies. I only have one choice now.
I have to brood.
I need to walk away from this situation and return to the dark recesses of my home. I need to go some place quiet where I can ponder my mistakes and berate myself for them in private. I *need* to relive every scream, every unanswered plea for mercy, every squirming body, shaking in its death throws, every guilty fevered kiss stolen from undead lips unbidden, every---
"Move the six down."
"What?" I ask, startled out of my thoughts. I turn to look at Cordelia. Her hands are on her hips as she looks over my shoulder.
"Move the six down off the Ace and then move the five over. That will uncover that three and then you've won."
I look back at the screen, amazed. "You're right," I say evenly. Cordelia shrugs.
"Yeah, well. You know, we didn't just buy that computer for solitaire. Maybe you should learn how to program something." I shake my head slowly. Standing, I smile falsely at the brunette before walking over to the elevator and beginning the slow descent into my dark home.
THE END!
A/N 2: Bah. Review if you wish. Isn't Solitare the most appropriate game for Angel? ^_^
