Guilt's Cost: Part LXXXV

Drinking's Effects

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

After fleeing from the lab upon confirming Hojo's tampering with Rayna, Porter had not known where to go. At first he was desperate to see her, but knew that in his own obviously disturbed state that she would figure out that something was wrong and he didn't want to scare her. Instead, he hit the button in the elevator that would take him to the top floor of the building. He was headed for the President's office, but not to see Harwin himself. Rather, he felt the need to see his only real friend, Rude.

Porter stepped out of the elevator and was faced by the huge doors to the President's chambers. Rasta and Kimo flanked the great doors, assigned to their usual guard duty.

"Hey man, what you doin' up here?" Rasta asked, surprised to see Porter.

"I need to see Rude." Porter did his best to act calmer than he felt.

Kimo crossed his arms, picking up on the younger man's discomfort. "Something wrong?"

Porter shook his head and dropped his gaze. "I just wanted to pay him a social visit. There's been some things on my mind, that's all."

"You sure that Hojo didn't fuck with you?" Kimo couldn't help but ask.

"No, it's not that," Porter lied, and was bad at it.

Kimo huffed and pressed the radio piece in his ear. "Hey Rude, you around? Oh, hey, yeah, Porter's up here looking for you. I don't know what's up, but he's not looking too happy. Okay, I'll tell him."

Porter waited for the radio conversation to end. He grew dark in the realization that everyone that knew him seemed to be able to see his feelings. It wasn't becoming of a Turk to be so transparent.

"Rude says he's off in a few minutes. He'll be out soon," Kimo said, letting his hand fall back to his side.

"Great." Porter reached down and patted D on the head. Even the dog looked as though it knew something was wrong with his master.

"How long you gonna keep that dog?" Kimo teased.

Porter was as attached to the animal as any pet owner could be without becoming obsessive and Kimo's jest riled him. "Shut up, Kimo."

"God damned your touchy lately," Rasta laughed as he saw Porter stare down Kimo with what had to be called a threatening gaze.

The doors to the office opened and Rude stepped out. He knew that Kimo and Rasta never let Porter have a moment's peace and suspected that they had already offended him. Rude turned to his associates. "You guys get to stay here for two more hours. The President will leave after the Consulate from Gongaga arrives."

Rasta and Kimo produced a unison moan of disappointment. Standing outside the doors for another two hours wasn't appealing, and Kimo spoke up, "How come you're taking off then?"

Rude smiled as he turned to his friend. "Because I am a senior officer and I get to do what I want. See you tomorrow."

With that, Rude and Porter stepped onto the elevator and headed to the lobby.

Rude examined Porter thoughtfully before speaking. "What did the son of a bitch do now?"

Porter looked down at his dog. "What do you assume that it has anything to do with Hojo?"

"Because it always has something to do with Hojo," Rude sighed. "The only other things that would have you so upset would be your dog dying and he's obviously fine, or Rayna leaving you and then you'd be crying."

"Oh…" Porter never ceased to be amazed at Rude's deduction skills. That is why the older man had made such a great Turk all these years. "Let's get to the bar first, all right?"

Rude knew that if it was horrible enough to require the young man to drink it must be very bad. He didn't have the patience to wait that long and pried on. "Don't tell me that you're upset over what he's doing to Tifa and Vincent."

"No, that's not it." The fact that what the madman had done to them was bothering him showed. The vision of Vincent strapped to the table missing most of his body was going to haunt him for sometime to come. But that wasn't the main problem. "It involves Rayna."

Rude was dumbstruck. The fact that Hojo would mess with Porter's girlfriend was over the top, although not out of character for the scientist. "What did he do to her?"

"Please wait until we get out of this building first. I don't feel comfortable talking about it here." Porter's voice was barely a whisper.

Rude pursed his lips and grew silent. He knew that it wouldn't be out of the question for Hojo to have bugs on the elevator. He spent the rest of the trip to the lobby without any more words.

They got into Porter's car in the parking structure across the street and rode to their favorite bar a few miles away. They arrived and took up a dark booth in the corner. The owners of this establishment didn't give Porter any grief about being accompanied by his canine. If they were to get busted, a dog was going to be the least of their worries.

The barmaid brought Rude his typical beer and Porter ordered a whiskey sour. Once he was handed his drink, Porter downed it quickly and asked for another.

Rude had never seen his friend drink like that and grew concerned. "So what is it?"

Porter shoved his empty glass to the edge of the table and sighed. "He's put some sort of implant into Rayna that will kill her if anything happens to him. He said he did it to assure my loyalty."

Rude was quiet for a moment. "Damn man, I'm sorry."

Porter glanced around the room in paranoia. "The guy he's got in the lab said he could help me."

"Who? Vincent?" Rude knitted his brows.

"Yeah, he said that ASRIO could help Rayna and I think I'm going to take his offer." Porter brought his teary eyes up to meet Rude's.

"Hold up there, Porter." Rude pointed an accusatory finger across the table. "Vincent is in no position to be offering you anything. You can't trust him."

"I don't see that I have a choice!" Porter put his elbows onto the table. "I think Hojo is going to let Tifa go soon, and she will be able to get in contact with ASRIO for me. If they can help Rayna, then I have to take their offer! I can't let her die!"

"But she'll only die if something happens to Hojo," Rude corrected. "You don't think anything is going to happen to him, do you?"

Porter's own desire to kill the scientist caused his face to flush. "You know as well as I do that there are a million people out to get him. It's only a matter of time before someone takes him out, or at least tries to."

"But going to the enemy for help? Think about what you're saying! Ain't no girl worth that! I already watched my old friend Reno pull that shit, and I am not going to let you do it too!" Rude's long suppressed anger flared.

"Reno?" Porter sat upright, recognizing the name. "Reno was a Turk?"

"You're damn right he was." Rude took another swig of his beer. "And a damned good one, but his girlfriend, also a former Turk convinced him to not reenlist after the reformation of the Turks. They killed her and that's when he joined ASRIO."

Porter was taken aback by Rude's display of emotion. He had never seen the older man show such strong feelings. "I didn't know that he was a Turk."

"Well, he was." Rude polished off the remainder of his beer. "There's got to be another way to help Rayna that doesn't involve them. I don't trust Tseng."

"Tseng being the leader of ASRIO?" Porter already knew the answer.

"Right, and also a former Turk." Rude laid his bottle on its side and slowly spun it.

Porter knew at least that much. Despite what Rude was feeling, Porter still felt that ASRIO was his best chance at helping Rayna. "What else could I do?"

Rude thought for a moment. "I don't know, but if you screw this up, I know what's going to happen to you, and that is not something I would like."

Again, the vision of Vincent in the lab reared its head and Porter felt a chill on his skin. But just as Vincent had gotten himself into his present situation over a woman, Porter was quickly heading down that same path. Saving Rayna's life was his only concern.

Rude could see the thoughts playing out in his friend's mind and knew that this argument was going to be a losing battle. "Just please be careful."

A few hours later Porter was driving through the streets of the town. He had already dropped Rude off at home and it was getting to be late. With as much as he had drunk at the bar he really had no business driving, but with his heartache his judgement was impaired. Finally deciding that he couldn't stand it any more, he drove to Rayna's place and went up to her door.

She answered after a few moments, clearly relived to see Porter standing there with D. "I tried to call you after work, but you weren't home."

He stepped in and took her in his arms. The tears that he had been holding back made their way out. He buried his face in the nape of her neck and his body was wracked with sobs. "Oh Rayna…"

"What's wrong?" She immediately filled with concern, not knowing what could be making him so upset. It wasn't like him to cry and she grew afraid. Rayna could smell the alcohol on him, but knew that even when drunk this wasn't how the Turk would behave.

There was no way that he could tell her what the problem was. It would just upset her, and that was something he couldn't bear to do. He held her tighter. "I love you so much…"

His words combined with his emotional state burned into her heart. Could he really be this worked up over his feelings for me? "I love you, too."

He straightened up and gazed down into her eyes. Porter couldn't think of how he had managed to live for twenty-six years without her in his life, and he knew he most certainly couldn't go on with out her. "No, I really love you… more than anything."

She smiled and reached up wiping the tears from his face. Even in his disheveled and emotional state he was a very beautiful man and she was lost in his evergreen eyes. "Porter…"

He could sense some small change in her composure and made a primal realization. She was going to give herself to him for the first time. Porter soon felt her lips burning upon his and he closed his eyes. Rayna had just finished a glass of red wine before his arrival, and he could taste it upon her tongue.

Rayna was filled with both anticipation and nervousness. She had always been a little afraid of sex. She had only ever done it once back in high school, and that had been such an awkward and painful experience that she had avoided it ever since. With trembling hands she pushed his overcoat and suit jacket from his shoulders.

Porter had been waiting for this since the first time they had gone out and was in some measure of shock that it was finally going to happen. Although he was more experienced at this than his mate, he was still by no means an expert and too was nervous about his performance. Things had never worked out for him romance novel style to say the least. His fingers worked slowly to undo the eight buttons that held her blouse closed.

Rayna stepped back for a moment and dropped her gaze to the ground. "Porter?"

He filled with fear that she was changing her mind. "Yes?"

"Let's go back to my room. I can't do this with D looking." A faint smile graced her lips.

Porter looked over to see the dog sitting a short distance away staring at them with his short tail wagging. He laughed to himself, "Oh, yeah, it is a little weird…"

Rayna looked up at him with bright eyes and took his hand, leading him to her bedroom. The dog tried to follow, but Porter quickly shut the door locking his canine out in the hall. Porter turned back to Rayna with a slight frown.

"What?" she asked, dimming the lights.

"I think this is the first time I've been separated from him since finding him," Porter mused.

Rayna knew this was true as the dog even seemed to always follow him into the bathroom. "I think he'll live."

AN: If you read the original version of this chapter, then you will notice that something is missing. I had to tone it down, just a little. Sorry if anyone is bothered by that… but the graphic nature of what had been here wasn't consistant with the rest of the story. The original version of this chapter can still be found at my website: