Chapter 17 - Warning
"What's so wrong with
Being happy
Kudos to those who
See through sickness"

"All right, we're going in. We'll be landing on Europa in less than
an hour."

"Did Faye-Faye handle the trip well?"

"Don't worry, Ed, I handled it fine."

"So, what's the plan?"

"Seeing since it's an underground facility, we're gonna have to take
extra-special care while busting in."

"What's it under?"

"A shopping mall."

There was a pause. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Look, this isn't gonna be a cakewalk, so we're gonna have to do
this by the book. Spike, you, me, and Faye-"

"Hey! What about Edward?"

"Ed…"

"Yeah, what about Edward? She's proven she can handle it."

"Right-o! Right-o! Edward wants to bring back her own souvenirs!"

--Sigh.-- "Fine… that makes it all the more easier. We'll storm the
place in two teams."

"Edward wants to go with Faye-Faye!"

"All right then, Jet and I will-"

"Ein wants to go, too!"

"Hold on, I'll go with Ed."

"What're you, her chaperone or something?"

"And Ein, too! He's a Cowboy Woof Woof!"

"What difference does it make who goes with her? She can handle
herself!"

"Whoo whoo! Dynamic duo!"

"It doesn't matter, okay? Spike, you go with Faye--"

"I thought Edward was going with Faye."

"Faye-Faye!"

"Look, it doesn't really matter--"

"Let's not make this difficult, okay? Jet goes with me, Ed'll go with
Spike. I know I'm so desirable and all, but damn - let's not start a
war over me."

Faye was met with four dubious stares.

"Anyway," Jet replied gruffly, pulling out a large blueprint. "Thanatos'
headquarters is located at the base of this facility here, providing it
good cover… it's almost impossible to bust in without somebody's
knowing."

"So, again I ask, what's the plan?"

Jet looked up, a smirk appearing on his face. "We go in undercover."

=====

Spike's eyebrow switched slightly as he stared at his so-called 'disguise'.
Dressed in large, loose fitting khaki pants and a hockey jersey for
some non-existent team, a backward ball cap adorned his head, serving
to conceal his puffy green hair.

"Jet, what the hell is-" He stopped in his tracks, getting a good look at
his partner.

Jet was dressed in blue-ish gray business suit, wearing wing-tip shoes.
However, what really got Spike's attention was the long white beard
and pony-tailed wig he sported, complete with a pair of black
sunglasses and a bandanna.

Spike hunched forward, howling with laughter. "You look like ZZ
Top." he wailed.

Jet frowned. "Who the heck is ZZ Top?" he asked, straightening his tie
in the mirror. Spike only continued to laugh.

"What's all the commotion in here?" Faye asked. The two men looked
up at her. She was wearing a black three-piece business suit - a jacket,
vest, and skirt that stopped at mid-thigh and showed off all her curves.
She wore knee-high boots and a short, fiery-red wig with spiky curls.

Both hunters had to admit that her disguise looked pretty good; you
almost couldn't recognize her. Not to mention she looked pretty
damn sexy.

Too bad she couldn't say the same about their disguises. She broke out
into gales of laughter, leaning against the wall for support. "My
kingdom for a camera!" she cried out. "You guys look hilarious!!"

"Where's Ed?" Jet growled.

"Right heeeree!" Edward appeared behind them, wearing the same
outfit as before, only with a pair of reading glasses.

"Can you see with those?"

Edward nodded. "They're fake."

"Well, if some of us are done laughing," Jet replied, glaring pointedly
at Faye. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Okie-dokie!"

=====

"It's been three days. Still no word from Arnold or Valhoun?"

"Sorry, sir, but we've received a report that both of them have been
turned into ISSP authorities."

"I see." There was a pause. "What was their status?"

"Arnold was injured, Valhoun was… er… dead. Bounties were
collected on both of them"

"A pity… at least they served their purpose."

"Their purpose, sir? The bounty hunters got to them, sir, they'll be
coming here."

The figure leaned back in his chair, turning away from his subordinate.
The same, frighteningly dazzling smile as before appeared on his face.
"Exactly."

=====

"Hey! Hey you!" A mall security guard looked up to see a lanky
young man and a young teenage girl approaching him. The young man
looked pissed.

"Uh, can I help you, sir?" he asked.

"Ya damn right you can!" the young man replied, clamping a hand down
on his shoulder. "I wanna file a complaint!"

"Um, sir…" the security guard replied, prying his hand away. "Complaints
are usually made at the Customer Services booth."

"Don't give me any crap about your booths!" the man exclaimed. "I'm
sick and tired of guys like you tryin' to push me around! I mean, I ask
you for help and you turn me away? What the heck is that?"

"Sir, if you would just calm down…" the security guard began. Though
the young man didn't look very threatening, something about him made
him scary enough to make the guard nervous.

"Don't you 'sir' me, and don't tell me to calm down!" the young man was
drawing a crowd now. "I come here as a decent customer, just trying to
go about my business… and this is the treatment I get?"

"Yeah!" someone in the crowd replied.

"You tell'im, buddy!"

"Yeah!" the girl exclaimed, earning a 'not yet' look from the young man
in front of her.

"Look, pal!" the security guard replied. "I don't know what you're trying
to pull…"

"I'm trying to pull something now?" the young man exclaimed. "I came
for help and this is what I get?" He pushed him roughly. "I don't have to
take this bull from you!"

"Watch it, man!" the guard replied, shoving back. "Don't make me hurt
you!"

The young man stumbled back, falling into the arms of the surrounding
crowd. "You see that?" he balked. "He just threatened me! He's
supposed to be ensuring our safety!"

The guard blinked in confusion. What the heck was going on here?
"What're you talking about, you jerk!" he yelled. "You're the one who
started a fight with me!"

"Hey!" the girl replied. "You can't talk to Brother-per-you can't do
that!" She began pounding on his arm in a windmill fashion.

"Back off!" the guard screamed, shielding himself.

"Oh, so now you're attacking my little sister, too!" the young man
growled. "It's on now!" With that, he wrestled him to the ground, the
crowd cheering him on wildly.

=====

Unbeknownst to the crowd of onlookers and those who were just
perusing the mall to shop, the particular guard that was in the process
of being pummeled had been guarding a door leading to a basement
stairwell. With the commotion caused by the young man and his sister,
two figures, a man and a woman, were able to slip through the door
unnoticed.

"Don'cha think he's overdoing it a little?" Jet asked, slipping through the
door. Spike, who happened to be the hotheaded young man beating the
tar out of that poor guard, was still going strong.

"Nah, not really." Faye replied, closing the door behind them. "He's just
letting out a little built-up frustration. The guy's got issues, you know
that."

Jet smirked. "You're a fine one to talk."

Faye scowled back at him. "Funny, Jet. Really funny." The two of
them hurried down the stairs in a quick and quiet fashion. "Think I could
go back and get a few hits in, too?"

Jet held back a chuckle. "Down, tiger… you'll have your chance in a
few."

There was a pause. "Hey, Jet… we're gonna win, aren't we?"

Another pause, "I hope so, Faye. I damn well hope so."

=====

-- Rattle, rattle… Clank! -- The metal bars closed shut behind Spike
and Edward, leaving them confined within a small space deep within the
bowels of the Bathsheba City Shopping mall.

"Y'know," Spike drawled, already making himself comfy on a cot
resting in the corner. "Guys like me don't do well in captivity."

"Who knew shopping malls had detention centers," Edward mused,
busying herself poking at the three cement walls surrounding them.

Standing on the opposite side of the bars, were three or four security
guards, all of which had seen better days. Their hair was mussed,
their uniforms torn and dirty; they had all obviously received the
beating of their lives.

"Yah, well… you shoulda thought of that before you started pickin'
fights," one guard said through swollen, busted lips. "A little time
down here oughta cool you down."

"It's only 73 degrees Fahrenheit." Edward pointed out.

"Watchit, ya little smart-ass," one guard growled, reaching towards
her through the bars. Several bite marks could be seen on his hand -
her handiwork, no doubt. "Or I'll show you what we do to little punks
like you."

"Hey," Spike, who until then had looked very comfortable, glared up
at them warily. A few guards stepped back in fear. "Leave her alone."
He smirked slightly. "I'm sure there are more pressing matters that
require your attention… like guarding the Weenie Mart or something…"

One guard snarled and opened his mouth to protest, only to be led
away quickly by the others. They disappeared down the hall,
speaking in hushed whispers. Spike could have sworn he heard one
guard refer to him as a 'whacked out, psycho-Bruce Lee-reincarnate."
He almost felt proud.

In the meantime, Edward continued with her inspection of their cell,
absently muttering the lyrics to some bizarre song Spike had never
heard before.

"Hey, Ed," he called, staring at the black and red tiles lining the floor
outside their cell.

"…Kigen… oshibe, meshibe, hitostubu no shushi! Sou, tochi no ko
seichou… "

"Ed?"

"…Tetsu-gaku no kodomo…"

Spike's eyebrow began to twitch slightly. "Ed…"

"Soshite!"

"EDWARD!"

The young hacker turned towards him, grinning pleasantly. "Yes,
Spike-person?" she asked innocently.

Spike almost regretted insisting she be allowed to come along.
"Edward," he replied slowly. "It's time we busted out of here."

"Right-o, Captain Spike-person!" she grinned, throwing him a smart
salute.

Clearing his throat, Spike rose from his seat, crossing the span of the
small cell with a few steps. "Right," he replied. "So, hack us out of
here."

Edward grinned. "Edward is afraid she cannot."

Spike blinked for a few moments. "Excuse me?"

Her grin widened. "Edward cannot bust us out because the guards
took Edward's backpack."

Spike's shoulders slumped slightly. "You're joking, right?" He looked
down at her. "Tell me you've got to be joking."

If Edward's grin got any bigger, it would encompass the entire lower
half of her face. "Nope. Not at all." She grabbed two of the bars,
attempting to stick her head out. When that was unsuccessful, she tried
to see how far out her leg could go; being that she was so skinny, it could
go pretty far.

"Damnit…" Spike began pacing. "I can't believe this whole operation's
been flubbed just because one of those jerks decided to take your
backpack. We're screwed… just like that."

Edward laughed, turning his attention back toward her. The girl was
hanging from the top crossbar of the cell door. "Spike-person doesn't
have to worry," she replied. "Help is on the way." Before Spike could
ask just what she meant, Edward began singing again, this time at the
top of her lungs. "Hitotsu no yuukiteki na kikan! Hitotsu no eikyuu
undou souchi…"

Spike covered his ears, cringing slightly. He absently wondered if she
was tone deaf. "Knock it off, Ed!" he called out. "You're gonna draw
the whole goon squad back here!

"Aaaaa, kudou nari! So wa, kuudou nari!" Edward ended her song
abruptly, craning her head towards the hallway. Following her lead,
Spike did the same, picking up on a small ringing noise. It was a jingling
sound, like a pair of keys, or a small bell.

"What the hell is that?" he wondered aloud.

"The cavalry has arrived!" Edward exclaimed, immediately shushing
herself, then giggling.

Spike looked up, startled to see the most bizarre sight; Edward's bag
was making its way down the hall towards them. However, after
taking a double take, Spike realized that behind the bag, pushing it
every few steps was none other than…

"Ein?"

"Cowboy Woof Woof to the rescue!" Edward grinned, beaming with
pride for her canine compatriot. "Good Ein! Saved Edward's backpack!"

"Not to mention both our asses." Spike added. "Now let's get out of
here, before someone takes notice."

"Ein," Edward replied. "Pass Edward her decoder-box."

Ein barked, pulling out a ring with several keys on it. Spike and
Edward glanced at each other in disbelief.

"Ein... that is not Edward's decoder box..."

Spike was the first to recover, reaching for the ring and testing to see
which key fit the lock on their cell. Within a few tries, the door was open
and the two bounty hunters were free. Spike chuckled, impressed with
the Data Dog's quick thinking. "Good dog."

Ein barked again, giving him a 'tell me something I don't already
know' look.

"All right now," Spike's eyes gleamed with determination. "It's time to
set Phase 2 into action. Ready, Ed?"

"A-Okay!"

End of chapter 17