Author's Notes - Hi, all! Before I begin, I just want to give credit to a song I
forgot to mention in the intermission. In Chapter 18 I think it was, Edward
was singing the lyrics to a bizarre sounding song (mostly to piss Spike off,
but also to let Ein know where she was). Anyways, for those of you
who have ever watched Utena, or heard any of the soundtracks (which
are pretty cool in my book), you'll know that the song is called, "Virtual Star
Hasseigaku", or "Virtual Star Embryology".
The part she sings, translated into English would be...
"a stamen, a pistil, one seed
Yes, a native child of Growth
The child of Philosophy"
She then skips the chorus, I guess you could call it, then going
onwards to...
"One organic system
One perpetual motion device
Ah, it is an empty movement
That is an empty movement. It is"
You're probably thinking "why the f*** was she singing something
like that? It makes no sense." But, think about it, this is Edward
we're talking about. I'm pretty sure that's all that needs to be said.
Oh yes, and on another note, though I'm not particularly fond of
lemons (okay, I don't like'em at all, I'm a prude... sue me), I
figured it wouldn't hurt to kick the level of SpikexFaye interaction
up a notch (and a half).
So, to be blunt, this chapter is a flashback of sorts, going back to
what happened in between chapter 16 and 17 (I think... I'm not
even sure of my own chapters... pathetic). I doesn't really go into
any detail, but I'll leave it up to you guys. Sorry if it sucks. Enjoy. =)
Chapter 20 - The Real Folk Blues
"Hitotsu no mede asu no mite (Watching tomorrow with one eye)
Hitotsu no mede kinou mitsumeteru (While keeping the other on yesterday)
Kimi no ai no yurikagode (If only I could peacefully sleep)
Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara (In the cradle of your love again)"
=Flashback=
She was on Cloud 9; there was no other way to describe the bliss
she was feeling. Arms and legs entwined, breath intermingling, she
lay inches away from Spike Spiegel - the one man she had been
unable to capture.
'Until now…' she thought idly to herself. There had been few things
Faye had wished for herself with all her might. Examples of which
would be paying off her debts and finding true happiness with someone
she cared for. Though she was no closer to paying off her debts than
she was a year ago, at least she could say Spike was with her. Still, as
she lay with her head resting beneath his, she could only wonder… was
that a good thing, or a bad thing?
=====
Spike stared upwards at the ceiling, absently fingering strands of
Faye's hair. Surprisingly enough, he found it much softer than he
thought it would be - what with all the hairspray she used on it. In the
midst of what could have turned out to be yet another one of their
heated arguments, the two of them - whom had once believed
themselves to be sworn enemies - mad with passion, had claimed each
other right then and there.
Faye had made no protests, and neither had he. As he lowered her
down slowly and gently, her eyes held eagerness, anxiety, and a little
apprehension. Spike had not let that stop him; and deep down, he
knew that if he had, Faye would have probably shot him.
'But on the cabin floor…?' Jet would probably have kittens if he
found out. Spike smirked beside himself. The man did possess
some integrity, but all in all, he didn't seem to mind. Granted, he
wasn't a virgin, and wasn't all that surprised to find that she wasn't
either.
However, what did surprise him was that she claimed to had only
been with oneother person beside himself; she wouldn't say who. He
was okay with that... for the time being. At that moment, he only
wondered what it would be like to wake up every morning with her
by his side, his hand in her hair, just as they were now.
He'd never thought such things about Julia. Their relationship had
been like Hide and Seek, Kiss and Don't Tell… it wouldn't have
lasted, even if the circumstances had taken place as they had. He
was aware of this and had already moved on, hoping to carry on his
life with Faye. However, he could only wonder, was she ready?
=====
"What's on your mind?" Faye stirred slightly, feeling Spike caress
her shoulder gently, laying soft kisses along her neck, stopping at her
cheekbone.
She moaned softly, silently reveling in the attention he was giving
her. "Nothing," she told him. "Just trying to hold onto the moment."
Spike chuckled softly; Faye could feel it rumbling in his chest. "Was I
that good for you?" he asked huskily.
"You were…" she paused for a moment, smirking lightly.
"Acceptable." It was a lie and they both knew it.
"If I was only acceptable," Spike smirked back. "Then I hope you
don't expect to find anything better than me."
Though he tried to hide it, she had bruised his ego. Faye smiled.
"I don't think I'm going to look." she replied.
Spike only nodded, resting his head on top of hers. "So, what
happens now?"
"I don't know…" Faye replied slowly. "This changes everything."
"Is that so bad?"
Faye shifted, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. Did he have to
ask questions? Why did they have to go back to reality so soon?
Couldn't she revel in this bliss a little while longer?
Spike let out a deep breath, staring back up at the ceiling. "Are you in
love with Jet?" he asked.
Faye stared at him for a moment; where had that come from?
However,the more she thought about it, she realized that he had tried
to broach thesubject several times, only in more subtle ways. An
example of which would be how he always asked her why she came
back to the Bebop or when he joked about the two of them having a
fling. It was then that shecame to the realization that he had been
quite serious.
"Jet's looked out for me over these past years," she replied quietly.
"There were times when I messed up and thought he was gonna throw
me out on my ass, but he didn't. He was there for me when no one else
was." She followed his gaze up towards the ceiling. The fan was on,
spinning around in a rhythmic, almost hypnotic fashion. "So, if you're
talking about like in a friend/father/brother-type way, then yes.
Otherwise, no."
"I see…"
Faye was almost certain that his next question would be, "Are you in love
with me?" She however, remained silent a moment, still considering her
own question. "Are you still in love with Julia?"
"I thought you were clear on the fact that she's dead." Spike replied.
"She's ceased living, she won't come back again."
"But that doesn't mean you can't still love her," Faye replied, feeling
every bit like the bitch she was so reputed for being.
Still, Spike did not move away from her. He sighed, rubbing her
shoulders gently. "Can't you just accept a good thing for what it is,
Faye?" he asked. "It's not good to look a gift horse in the mouth."
Faye frowned; a gift? So, he was doing her a favor now? "No,"
she gritted. "How can I when I'm not used to being given things?"
Spike remained silent, Jet's story coming back to him.
"So used to being beaten, abused, and neglected, the black cat found
it very hard to trust people, leading her to a life of solitude…after all,
she was still afraid of getting to close in case things didn't work out…"
He smirked sadly, holding her close to him. "Just a poor black cat…"
"What?"
Spike shook his head, pulling her up into a sitting position along with
him. "I know you've had to deal with a lot of shit in the past," he told
her. "We both have, Faye. So, when you say you have a hard time
trusting people, I understand that. Tomorrow we track down the
bounty - I can't see the future, so I really can't say what's gonna
happen." He stared down at her with his mismatched eyes intense
and focused. "All I care about is the here and now."
Faye remained transfixed under his gaze, unable to break away.
He took her face in his hands, caressing the sides of her face with
his thumbs. "I'm in love with you, Faye Valentine," he replied.
"Whole-heartedly and completely… as far as I'm concerned, nothing's
gonna change that. You may not believe me, but that's how it is." He
paused a moment, as if hearing something. "And I think it's only fair
that you tell me how you feel."
Faye was frozen. She wanted to move, but her body wouldn't obey
her commands. She wanted to speak, but her brain wouldn't allow
her to articulate. She'd never seen him like this; he wanted to know
how she felt about him. He was actually pleading! "But… I…" She
wanted to tell him what it was he so desperately needed to hear - what
she so desperately needed to say, but the words would die before she
couldn't even scrounge up enough courage to utter them. She cursed
inwardly; damn her befuddled brain!
Spike looked up, hearing the whirring of the Hammerhead's engine
as it touched down on the deck of the Bebop. Jet was back from
consulting with his cop friend. Within a less than a few hours, they'd
have an attack plan. 160 million woolongs were as good as theirs.
He smirked, looking down at Faye. That wiped the smirk right off
his face. She looked as though she were on the verge of tears. A
pang of guilt pierced through him; he certainly hadn't meant to make
her cry.
"Hey," He took her chin in his hands, tilting her up to face him. "You
don't have to answer me right now."
She sucked in a breath, looking up at him in bewilderment. "Spike…"
Was he still such a mystery to her? The very thought made him smile.
"Don't worry about it." He stood up, stretching a bit. "Just think about
what I said earlier. It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never
loved it all." He started to walk away. "Remember… You agreed with
me." With that, he disappeared around the corner.
After tidying herself up, Faye remained where she was, mulling the
conversation over in her brain. The words of an old song she had
heard many years ago came to mind. It seemed to fit the occasion
perfectly.
I often tell myself
That we could be more than just friends
I know you think that if we move to soon
It would all end
She paused, letting out a deep sigh. Spike had been right; she had
agreed with him.
=End of Flashback=
End of Chapter 20
Author's Notes -
Hope that didn't suck too much. To be honest, I just trying to fill up
space before I got to the next chapter. Can you believe this fic is almost
100 pages long? I couldn't believe it either.
However, I'm sure you all will be happy to know (or maybe you won't,
it depends) that "That's Why They Call it the Blues" or TWTCITB as I've
been calling it, will soon be drawing to a close. That's right, there are
only 3 more chapters to go. Waaiiii, I can't believe it!
Next time, Don't Let Go (Love)
forgot to mention in the intermission. In Chapter 18 I think it was, Edward
was singing the lyrics to a bizarre sounding song (mostly to piss Spike off,
but also to let Ein know where she was). Anyways, for those of you
who have ever watched Utena, or heard any of the soundtracks (which
are pretty cool in my book), you'll know that the song is called, "Virtual Star
Hasseigaku", or "Virtual Star Embryology".
The part she sings, translated into English would be...
"a stamen, a pistil, one seed
Yes, a native child of Growth
The child of Philosophy"
She then skips the chorus, I guess you could call it, then going
onwards to...
"One organic system
One perpetual motion device
Ah, it is an empty movement
That is an empty movement. It is"
You're probably thinking "why the f*** was she singing something
like that? It makes no sense." But, think about it, this is Edward
we're talking about. I'm pretty sure that's all that needs to be said.
Oh yes, and on another note, though I'm not particularly fond of
lemons (okay, I don't like'em at all, I'm a prude... sue me), I
figured it wouldn't hurt to kick the level of SpikexFaye interaction
up a notch (and a half).
So, to be blunt, this chapter is a flashback of sorts, going back to
what happened in between chapter 16 and 17 (I think... I'm not
even sure of my own chapters... pathetic). I doesn't really go into
any detail, but I'll leave it up to you guys. Sorry if it sucks. Enjoy. =)
Chapter 20 - The Real Folk Blues
"Hitotsu no mede asu no mite (Watching tomorrow with one eye)
Hitotsu no mede kinou mitsumeteru (While keeping the other on yesterday)
Kimi no ai no yurikagode (If only I could peacefully sleep)
Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara (In the cradle of your love again)"
=Flashback=
She was on Cloud 9; there was no other way to describe the bliss
she was feeling. Arms and legs entwined, breath intermingling, she
lay inches away from Spike Spiegel - the one man she had been
unable to capture.
'Until now…' she thought idly to herself. There had been few things
Faye had wished for herself with all her might. Examples of which
would be paying off her debts and finding true happiness with someone
she cared for. Though she was no closer to paying off her debts than
she was a year ago, at least she could say Spike was with her. Still, as
she lay with her head resting beneath his, she could only wonder… was
that a good thing, or a bad thing?
=====
Spike stared upwards at the ceiling, absently fingering strands of
Faye's hair. Surprisingly enough, he found it much softer than he
thought it would be - what with all the hairspray she used on it. In the
midst of what could have turned out to be yet another one of their
heated arguments, the two of them - whom had once believed
themselves to be sworn enemies - mad with passion, had claimed each
other right then and there.
Faye had made no protests, and neither had he. As he lowered her
down slowly and gently, her eyes held eagerness, anxiety, and a little
apprehension. Spike had not let that stop him; and deep down, he
knew that if he had, Faye would have probably shot him.
'But on the cabin floor…?' Jet would probably have kittens if he
found out. Spike smirked beside himself. The man did possess
some integrity, but all in all, he didn't seem to mind. Granted, he
wasn't a virgin, and wasn't all that surprised to find that she wasn't
either.
However, what did surprise him was that she claimed to had only
been with oneother person beside himself; she wouldn't say who. He
was okay with that... for the time being. At that moment, he only
wondered what it would be like to wake up every morning with her
by his side, his hand in her hair, just as they were now.
He'd never thought such things about Julia. Their relationship had
been like Hide and Seek, Kiss and Don't Tell… it wouldn't have
lasted, even if the circumstances had taken place as they had. He
was aware of this and had already moved on, hoping to carry on his
life with Faye. However, he could only wonder, was she ready?
=====
"What's on your mind?" Faye stirred slightly, feeling Spike caress
her shoulder gently, laying soft kisses along her neck, stopping at her
cheekbone.
She moaned softly, silently reveling in the attention he was giving
her. "Nothing," she told him. "Just trying to hold onto the moment."
Spike chuckled softly; Faye could feel it rumbling in his chest. "Was I
that good for you?" he asked huskily.
"You were…" she paused for a moment, smirking lightly.
"Acceptable." It was a lie and they both knew it.
"If I was only acceptable," Spike smirked back. "Then I hope you
don't expect to find anything better than me."
Though he tried to hide it, she had bruised his ego. Faye smiled.
"I don't think I'm going to look." she replied.
Spike only nodded, resting his head on top of hers. "So, what
happens now?"
"I don't know…" Faye replied slowly. "This changes everything."
"Is that so bad?"
Faye shifted, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. Did he have to
ask questions? Why did they have to go back to reality so soon?
Couldn't she revel in this bliss a little while longer?
Spike let out a deep breath, staring back up at the ceiling. "Are you in
love with Jet?" he asked.
Faye stared at him for a moment; where had that come from?
However,the more she thought about it, she realized that he had tried
to broach thesubject several times, only in more subtle ways. An
example of which would be how he always asked her why she came
back to the Bebop or when he joked about the two of them having a
fling. It was then that shecame to the realization that he had been
quite serious.
"Jet's looked out for me over these past years," she replied quietly.
"There were times when I messed up and thought he was gonna throw
me out on my ass, but he didn't. He was there for me when no one else
was." She followed his gaze up towards the ceiling. The fan was on,
spinning around in a rhythmic, almost hypnotic fashion. "So, if you're
talking about like in a friend/father/brother-type way, then yes.
Otherwise, no."
"I see…"
Faye was almost certain that his next question would be, "Are you in love
with me?" She however, remained silent a moment, still considering her
own question. "Are you still in love with Julia?"
"I thought you were clear on the fact that she's dead." Spike replied.
"She's ceased living, she won't come back again."
"But that doesn't mean you can't still love her," Faye replied, feeling
every bit like the bitch she was so reputed for being.
Still, Spike did not move away from her. He sighed, rubbing her
shoulders gently. "Can't you just accept a good thing for what it is,
Faye?" he asked. "It's not good to look a gift horse in the mouth."
Faye frowned; a gift? So, he was doing her a favor now? "No,"
she gritted. "How can I when I'm not used to being given things?"
Spike remained silent, Jet's story coming back to him.
"So used to being beaten, abused, and neglected, the black cat found
it very hard to trust people, leading her to a life of solitude…after all,
she was still afraid of getting to close in case things didn't work out…"
He smirked sadly, holding her close to him. "Just a poor black cat…"
"What?"
Spike shook his head, pulling her up into a sitting position along with
him. "I know you've had to deal with a lot of shit in the past," he told
her. "We both have, Faye. So, when you say you have a hard time
trusting people, I understand that. Tomorrow we track down the
bounty - I can't see the future, so I really can't say what's gonna
happen." He stared down at her with his mismatched eyes intense
and focused. "All I care about is the here and now."
Faye remained transfixed under his gaze, unable to break away.
He took her face in his hands, caressing the sides of her face with
his thumbs. "I'm in love with you, Faye Valentine," he replied.
"Whole-heartedly and completely… as far as I'm concerned, nothing's
gonna change that. You may not believe me, but that's how it is." He
paused a moment, as if hearing something. "And I think it's only fair
that you tell me how you feel."
Faye was frozen. She wanted to move, but her body wouldn't obey
her commands. She wanted to speak, but her brain wouldn't allow
her to articulate. She'd never seen him like this; he wanted to know
how she felt about him. He was actually pleading! "But… I…" She
wanted to tell him what it was he so desperately needed to hear - what
she so desperately needed to say, but the words would die before she
couldn't even scrounge up enough courage to utter them. She cursed
inwardly; damn her befuddled brain!
Spike looked up, hearing the whirring of the Hammerhead's engine
as it touched down on the deck of the Bebop. Jet was back from
consulting with his cop friend. Within a less than a few hours, they'd
have an attack plan. 160 million woolongs were as good as theirs.
He smirked, looking down at Faye. That wiped the smirk right off
his face. She looked as though she were on the verge of tears. A
pang of guilt pierced through him; he certainly hadn't meant to make
her cry.
"Hey," He took her chin in his hands, tilting her up to face him. "You
don't have to answer me right now."
She sucked in a breath, looking up at him in bewilderment. "Spike…"
Was he still such a mystery to her? The very thought made him smile.
"Don't worry about it." He stood up, stretching a bit. "Just think about
what I said earlier. It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never
loved it all." He started to walk away. "Remember… You agreed with
me." With that, he disappeared around the corner.
After tidying herself up, Faye remained where she was, mulling the
conversation over in her brain. The words of an old song she had
heard many years ago came to mind. It seemed to fit the occasion
perfectly.
I often tell myself
That we could be more than just friends
I know you think that if we move to soon
It would all end
She paused, letting out a deep sigh. Spike had been right; she had
agreed with him.
=End of Flashback=
End of Chapter 20
Author's Notes -
Hope that didn't suck too much. To be honest, I just trying to fill up
space before I got to the next chapter. Can you believe this fic is almost
100 pages long? I couldn't believe it either.
However, I'm sure you all will be happy to know (or maybe you won't,
it depends) that "That's Why They Call it the Blues" or TWTCITB as I've
been calling it, will soon be drawing to a close. That's right, there are
only 3 more chapters to go. Waaiiii, I can't believe it!
Next time, Don't Let Go (Love)