I love you.
She felt it. Knew it. More than a crush. More than friendship. Those three words, as they echoed in her head suddenly seemed to fit precisely the fierce devotion…the blind courage he inspired in her. And oi… That one sensation she was too modest to identify… The one that made her wish she could stop time just so she could stay in his arms forever.
He tilted his head, ever so slightly, those golden , feverish eyes sending more adrenaline through her body right then than her first encounter with a youkai. Her heart slammed the breath from her lungs while his foresty, masculine scent clouded her reason. Having little coherence to do much else, she opened her mouth to utter her confession.
"Inuyasha... I-"
And shrieked.
A biting cold something bumped into the backs of her calves, and she kicked at the ground reflexively. Inuyasha hissed and dragged her back with him, his now panicked eyes locked on the eel-like acolytes of the one person who not only had the power to ruin the moment, but distract Inuyasha completely from its memory.
Kikyo…
The luminescent, eerie soul snatchers writhed back and forth in the air about them like ghosts of ill omen, fostering a profound despair in Kagome. Truth be told, she would have rather been interrupted by Naraku himself.
Inuyasha ground his teeth, his jaw muscles twitching. All his attention was redirected, as usual, to any reminder of the miko. Kagome was already discarded. Forgotten. And it hurt just as much this time around as it had the first.
"Shit!" he swore, his face troubled. "Why are they here?"
In response, they swirled towards the edge of the clearing, and even Kagome knew they wanted him to follow. He released her without explanation or apology and took a step towards them.
"Don't go, Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out, swallowing the lump in her throat and clutching at his arm. He tensed, and turned back to her - the look on his face determined. He gently pried her fingers from his wrist.
"I have to."
"Then take me with you," she said desperately, knowing there was only one thing worse than seeing them together, and that was letting Kikyo drag Inuyasha to hell without a fight.
He pursed his lips in frustration. "I don't-"
"You get stupid around her, idiot!" She held her breath, steeling her resolve. At the forefront of her mind was Inuyasha's safety. It always had been.
Inuyasha clicked his tongue, and glanced anxiously back at the soul snatchers. His next words were solemn…quiet. "This is something I have to do on my own, Kagome."
Her stomach was already tying itself in knots. Panic surged, and she clenched her fists at her sides. "I won't let her kill you!" she screamed, her eyes stinging with tears. "I won't!"
The force of her words made him flinch. He turned back to her, a number of emotions seeming to battle for control of his face. His mouth open and closed three times until the carefully-worded sentence finally came tumbling off his tongue. "I'm not going there to die."
"Of course not!" she shouted. "Because I'M going with you!"
He scowled, a hint of his customary anger flitting across his face. "The hell you are-"
"SIT!"
"…egh!" FWOMP! He snarled and spat at the ground, winking up at her through one angry eye. "Dammit, girl-"
"SIT!"
"…gah!"
"SIT!"
"Umph!"
She stood her ground and waited for him to compose himself. When he got up, he was screaming. "KAGOME! YOU DO THAT AGAIN, AND I'LL-"
"I'm coming."
He swore and swiped at the air in a furious gesture, turning his back to her. "Keh! Fine! But don't go screaming for me to save your big-mouthed ass when you get yourself in trouble!"
As usual, she saw right through his empty threat, but it did little to alleviate the regret at having been interrupted …of losing a moment they almost had. Taking a deep breath, and not feeling half as confident as she portrayed, Kagome stomped over and hopped on his back. He hooked his elbows behind her knees, wriggling his hands around the material of her pants.
Her red pants…
Oh…no… Kagome stared down at her clothes as Inuyasha sprung off after the soul snatchers. Having lost her own school outfit to the foul necromancer, Kaede had provided her with the traditional garb of her village. Red bottoms, white top. The same clothing that Inuyasha had always associated with Kikyo.
Please…please no… A brief flashback tainted her awareness of the look in Inuyasha's eyes as he embraced her not minutes ago, and the words he'd spoken…
When I look at you, I…remember…
She dug her fingers into his shirt and buried her face in his shoulder blade. He remembered her, from fifty years ago. Kagome cursed herself a fool for thinking otherwise. It wasn't me he was seeing, she told herself forcefully. It was Kikyo. It's always been Kikyo...
And she'd been so sure this time, too. So absolutely convinced that those passionate, glittering eyes were meant for 'Kagome', and not for the reincarnation of the woman Inuyasha once loved.
Still loved.
It made it worse. So much worse. As Inuyasha bounded forward, Kagome found herself wondering how on earth she was able to still hold onto him when the most important organ of her body felt like it had stopped beating.
Kagome swallowed back the bile rising in her throat as the stench of stale blood and burnt flesh stung her nostrils. A dull crackling of bamboo walls and straw roofs filled her ears as the fire nipped at the few structural skeletons left in the wake of a holocaust, bleeding orange and red hazes against the black night. The pathway to Hell couldn't have been more unholy or foreboding, she decided as she shuddered and turned away. It didn't matter how many times she saw it. A slaughtered village always pushed her to the edge of insanity.
She clenched her eyes and tried to breathe through her mouth, as though that could possibly stop the deluge of horror that flooded her awareness at the injustice of so many butchered innocents. Their corpses littered the premises with wanton abandon, evidencing that whoever had done this wasn't partial.
They had killed men, women and children alike.
A solid, warm arm circled around her shoulder blades and pulled her into a protective embrace. "You shouldn't have to see this," Kouga said quietly…angrily, and for once, she let him hold her, taking small comfort in his presence. "That hanyou bastard caught the scent of human death before he arrived. He could have left you on the outskirts…"
As though reminded why she'd come, Kagome peeked open an eye and looked at Inuyasha's rigid form as he stood with his back to them. The rusty colors of the dying village reflected off his silver hair, and he stood tensely…anxiously, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Naturally, he wasn't throwing a fit at Kouga's presence. After all, Kikyo was there.
The mysterious miko gazed out across the expanse of the village's remains before them. Her profile was out-lined with the flickering light of the dying embers, and her onyx hair was tinged blue by the moon. The woman made of clay, who sustained herself off the souls of the dead, turned to face them, expressionless and solemn, and Kagome found herself wondering again how Inuyasha could love such a hollow, morbid being.
She had summoned not only the hanyou, but Kouga as well, along with Miroku and Sango, who were staring out at the carnage with pained eyes. It was a woeful despairing setting, made even more so by the company.
"Naraku's children did this," she said quietly. Almost bitterly, and Kagome wondered if this had been Kikyo's place of residence before it was destroyed.
"I've summoned you," she continued and then, unexpectedly, her gaze lifted, and for one of the few times their paths had crossed, she acknowledged Kagome's presence with more than a mental shrug. Her eyes narrowed, and Kagome could have sworn she saw the miko's lip twitch. "Though this girl has no place here."
They all turned and looked at her, including Inuyasha. His eyes flared when he noticed Kouga's arms around her, and a low, thrumming growl resounded in his throat and filled the distance between them. At his reflexive snarl, Kouga's grip tightened.
But that was the end of the exchange - because Kagome was pissed at the insulting acknowledgement. As though she didn't matter. And coupled with the maddening effect of standing at the edge of a massacred town, something snapped inside of her.
Kagome's vision darkened around the edges, focusing with a sniper's accuracy on the clay humanoid that had become the bane of her existence. The cause of her pain. The normally polite school girl felt a venomous, fed up rage ignite within her, burying her kinder disposition…
Completely.
She pushed away from Kouga and squared her shoulders, feeling the heat rise to her face. Kagome wasn't given to vulgarity often, but she couldn't stop the cutting words that trumpeted out of her mouth. They'd been held in for far too long.
"Self-serving miko bitch," she spat, ignoring the dropped jaws and saucer-eyed stares her insult drew from her comrades. Her irises shrunk to pinpricks in her ire, and Kagome continued as though possessed. "You not only tried to kill him - twice - but you tried to damn his soul to Hell."
Kikyo's eyes widened marginally. Clearly, Kagome's retaliation was unexpected.
The girl went on, her words clipped but dangerously even, like a grim reaper dolling out death sentences. "You rob thousands of innocents of their salvation, and yet you saunter around doing service amongst the living, as though it could possibly compensate for eating their souls when they die," she seethted, her white-knuckled fists held firmly at her sides. "You're a bitter, despicable residue of the person you once were, filled with shadows and hate. And if you think for one second that I'm going to stand idly by while you take advantage of Inuyasha's inherent stupidity-"
Inuyasha's slack-jawed gape shifted into an offended frown.
"Then you're a fool."
A dark, edgy silence passed between them, and Kagome was dimly aware of a feint crackling around her form…an aura of energy that hissed and spat like a loose cable in the rain. And for a second…just a second, she felt powerful enough to take on the very legions of Hell.
Kikyo took a step back. As a matter of fact, they all took a step back. It wasn't until she heard a feint 'Kagome-sama!' from Miroku, that the rampaging instincts ebbed out of her form.
But the bitterness… The bitterness was still there, and she stared Kikyo down until the woman finally broke the tension between them by speaking.
"You toy with powers that you do not know how to use," the miko said, the only sign of her trepidation being a feint crinkle of her otherwise soulless eyes.
"And you ignore a conscience that you once had," Kagome countered lowly. Despite her eloquence, she was just beginning to realize that something had happened to her a second ago. Something dangerous. Unprecedented. It was unnerving, so she stepped out of the confrontation with a final snide remark before her courage left her. "Tell everyone why you summoned them, and be done with it. The sight of you makes me sick."
Inuyasha, Miroku, and Sango all blinked hugely, and Kagome found herself shrinking under their astonished scrutiny. She took a step back and felt Kouga's rough, callused hand on her upper arm. He squeezed once for reassurance…whether for himself or for Kagome, she wasn't so sure, and they all redirected their attention to the fuming miko.
A muscle in Kikyo's jaw jumped, and her teeth flashed in the moonlight. Kagome took slight pleasure in the fact that she'd gotten a reaction out of her. Finally. With a thin-lipped frown, Kikyo peeled her glare off the school girl, and eyed the others with a more characteristic solemnity.
"You each hold grudges against Naraku," she began in a louder timbre, trying to regain the dignity that Kagome had undermined. "He has gathered all the Shikon shards with the exception of those in the wolf prince's legs, and the ones in your possession, Inuyasha."
They're in MY possession, you beast, Kagome thought heatedly as she gripped the crystal container around her neck. But she bit her tongue. The sooner the miko finished, the sooner they could leave.
Kikyo turned again to the village that had been massacred, and trembled slightly. "He'll come after you, next," she said. "Unless you go to him first, and complete the Shikon no Tama."
There was a series of grunts and shocked incredulity as her words sank in. It was Kouga who gave the unanimous sentiment voice. "You're wrong if you think I'm just going to hand him my shards," he said from behind Kagome, and she could feel his hand twitch against her arm.
Kikyo turned around and locked stares with him, her willowy voice quiet, but penetrating. "The Shikon no Tama has the ability to swallow Naraku whole," she said, the barest hint of passion in her words. "But I can't manipulate it unless I am unmolested by his attacks."
Inuyasha was quiet. Unbearably quiet. Kikyo always had this effect on him. Hence, it was the demon exterminator who spoke.
"You're asking us for a distraction. You're asking us to give up the shards and then fight without them so you can work your magics and enslave Naraku."
"Yes."
They were all silent, and it was obvious that everyone was wondering whether or not Kikyo could be trusted. She certainly had never given any of them cause to rely on her. And by her distant expression, she wasn't about to start now.
"I know where Naraku is," she said flatly, her cold, blank face profiled crimson by the dying embers. "But he won't be there for long. I'll summon you again on the morrow."
"Tell us now!" Inuyasha finally piped up, his claws curling into fists. "I need no more preparation to rip his throat out!"
Kouga let go of Kagome and took a step forward. "You can't keep such valuable information from us, witch!"
Kikyo acknowledged them by turning completely and walking away. "On the morrow," she called lightly over her shoulder, her form being folded in the shadows of the trees.
"Kikyo, wait!" Inuyasha cried desperately, his hand outstretched. The miko hesitated, and he ran over to her, putting enough distance between them and Kagome that she couldn't hear their words.
There he goes… Kagome thought sadly as she saw how close they stood. Inuyasha's head bowed slightly, the low hum of his hushed words sounding through the grass. The moonlight seemed to reflect in Kikyo's eyes as she looked up at him with more emotion than before.
He wants to be with her…to hold her… Kagome tried to blink back the sting in her eyes. It hurt. It always hurt seeing them together. Especially after having the carrot of his affections dangled in her face just an hour earlier, only to have it snatched away and tossed back at Kikyo.
Sango and Miroku walked over and engaged in a conversation with Kouga. Kagome was feintly aware of what they were saying, but her attention was latched on the eyesore of her soul, and wished for all the world right then, that Kikyo had never been resurrected. As it were, she didn't know how much longer she could go on like this, wanting Inuyasha when he was in love with someone else.
"Kikyo…"
She faced him, and reluctantly looked up.
Inuyasha suddenly found himself at a loss for words. After seeing the incredible surge of power in Kagome - where had it come from? - and hearing her enraged words, Inuyasha couldn't deny that he'd been affected too. And for the first time since she'd returned, he had to search Kikyo's face to find any remnant of the woman he once knew, when before, the memory, was all he could see.
Her eyes shimmered, and her mouth twitched, a bare flicker of her former self. But that was all. Not knowing how else to start, he opened with the communal sentiment among them. "Why won't you tell us where Naraku is?"
"I have my reasons."
"Will you…?" he faltered, and looked down at his feet. "Will you betray us, Kikyo?" Egads, would he have doubted her before?
She raised her frigid fingers to his face, and it took him great effort to not flinch at her touch. When he lifted his eyes, she rubbed his cheekbone softly with her thumb, and shook her head 'no'. It made him regret doubting her almost immediately.
Then he caught himself. Kagome was right. Because of their history, Inuyasha was proned to believe in Kikyo's better nature. He wanted to believe she still had it.
She frowned slightly, her eyes crinkling in scrutiny. "You have more to say, Inuyasha."
That voice… So void of warmth. So serious…so sad. He looked down at his feet again, and started to fidget with the Tetsusaiga's sheath. "You don't deserve Hell, Kikyo, and I'll do everything I can to redeem your soul from its depths… But…" he paused to swallow past the lump in his throat. Fate had been so unfair to their relationship back then. So cruelly unfair.
Kikyo dropped her hand from his face, and Inuyasha felt a wall of cold air rise between them. "Say it."
He opened his mouth. He had to tell her. Now. "I want you to know that…you can have my efforts," he said to the ground, making no attempt to hold her close when she took a step back. "But you can't have my life," he whispered, and finally lifted his eyes. "Or my death."
She blinked, and even in her cold mask he could see the pain. He squirmed uncomfortably as she stared him down, and he knew without needing her to say it that she felt betrayed all over again.
"It's her, isn't it," Kikyo said, the barest tremor in her voice. "The girl…"
He pursed his lips and held her gaze, as much as he wanted to look away, and confirmed her inquiry with his silence.
After a few seconds, Kikyo bowed her head, her brows furrowing. "Hn. How appropriate."
With as awful and guilty as he felt, Inuyasha couldn't ignore the small spark of liberation that ignited within his bosom - promising a life, a future…alongside someone who had made him feel more significant and whole than Kikyo ever had.
Kagome…
As though she'd heard his mental confession, Kikyo flinched. He hated hurting her. It seemed all that remained of her was the hurt, so obligation moved him to offer an explanation.
He remembered when the youkai blood had first driven him mad. He remembered Kagome staying by his side, unable to leave, even if it meant her death. He recalled a similar circumstance when she'd held an arrow to his face, under a dark miko's mind control. And he'd stayed, because he couldn't bring himself to leave her…even if it meant his death.
Then he remembered the bitter end of his and Kikyo's relationship, both having been beguiled so easily. He took a deep breath and tilted his head until their eyes were level. "How strong could it have been, Kikyo," he began shakily, "the feelings between us…if we were so quick to hate each other?"
She winced and looked away.
"I'm s-"
She raised her hand to stop his apology, and when she looked back up, her face was etched in stone - cold and unforgiving. "That doesn't change my agenda concerning you, Inuyasha," she said lowly, and then before more hurtful words could be exchanged, the miko turned her back to him. "Tomorrow," she called without turning around. "Be ready." And she melted into the shadows like a fading apparition.
Inuyasha watched her go, and stayed there for several moments after she'd disappeared. It was done. It pained him…this closure… But he'd had no choice. Every part of him yearned to be with someone else, now. Someone whose smile lifted his mood regardless the occasion. And remembering how Kagome had looked at him as he held her by the tree… She'd been about to confess her love. He was sure of it. He'd seen it in her eyes.
If those damn soul snatchers had just shown up a couple minutes later… He sighed. Well, they'd just have to continue that conversation. Right now, even. He turned around to seek out his reason for living, and startled.
She was already looking at him, the moonlight reflecting off the water in her dark, shadowy eyes like oil on the edge of a pond. Her bottom lip was quivering, and her hand clutched at her Shikon shards around her neck like an anchor of reality in a world of surreal. She was sad. Unbearably sad.
And it hit him. She'd misinterpretted what had transpired between he and Kikyo just now. A small smile lifted the corners of her lips as he walked towards her. That could be easily remedied. "Kagome…"
She took a step back, as though they were two positives of a magnate, and turned her back to him, hunching her shoulders. The movement triggered Kouga - who had been standing nearby - to glare at him. The wolf prince went and stood beside Kagome, wrapping his arms possessively around her lithe form.
Inuyasha's mood shifted immediately, and a growl that resounded low in his chest worked its way up to explode out of his mouth in a crescendoing roar. "Get your inbred hands off her, you filthy youkai!"
Kouga did just that, but it was to move Kagome behind him protectively so they could face off. His fangs flashed white in the moonlight as he snarled viciously. "When will you learn, you retarded mut? She doesn't belong to you!"
His blood boiling, Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga, but it did little to stop Kouga from provoking him further.
"But since words can't penetrate your dim wit, then I'll just have to beat it into you!"
"STOP IT!"
Kagome's order froze them both where they stood, though their feral expressions remained. Inuyasha watched uncomfortably as Kagome placed herself in front of Kouga - in front of Kouga, not him - and put a restraining hand on his chest.
"Oi, you stupid demon," she scolded, and Inuyasha couldn't help the grin that tweaked his lips at the non-flattering title she'd given his egotistical rival. "Don't you know?" She flung an angry hand in Inuyasha's direction. "He's not any competition!"
The grin straightened. What?
"He's in love with someone else!" she cried, swiping at the air in a seemingly furious gesture as though to hide her hurt with anger. "He always has been!"
The animosity eased off of the wolf prince's face, and he frowned confusion at her. "I thought you said-"
"He'd rather be dead with her, than alive with me," Kagome said, her voice catching.
Inuyasha choked. Is that how she's seen it this whole time?
"Then he's a greater fool than I thought him to be," Kouga said, not paying nearly as much attention to the hanyou now. "But it saves me the hassle of killing him."
"Kagome!" Inyasha yelled in rising alarm. "That's not-"
"Come," the prince cut him off, "I'll take you back to my mountain."
She shook her head. "I think I need to go home."
"Then I'll carry you."
Kagome hesitated for a half-second.
"WAIT!" Inuyasha screamed.
She winced at hearing him say her name, and in answer, threw her arms around Kouga's neck, nestling her face against his chest. The youkai swung her up in his arms with ease and turned to go.
Panicked beyond all rationale, Inuyasha lunged at them. "KAGOME!"
But they were gone, with nothing but a trail of kicked up dirt in their wake. With Kouga's shard-enhanced speed, the enraged hanyou couldn't have possibly caught them before they reached the well.
But it didn't stop him from trying.