She'd been absolutely right.
Despite the nice soft mattress, and enveloping, snug blankets - the lingering scent of her mother's wonderful cooking mixed with the fresh clean smell of washed sheets…
Kagome, could not sleep.
One would think it was because they'd be going up against the Naraku tomorrow - the most malevolent and dangerous villain of the feudal era.
But no. Her mind was filled with much more trivial…petty matters. Such as the butterflies that fluttered in her tummy when she thought about the way Inuyasha had looked at her by the tree, or the following deep ache of despair when she realized that he'd only seen Kikyo in her eyes. And then there was the absolutely ridiculous matter of what had transpired at the well with Kouga - and that after a good soapy shower and brushed, minty teeth, she could still taste his kiss on her lips.
Sighing wistfully, she clasped her arms up behind her head, and stretched. Kouga's attention had alleviated the pain of Inuyasha's rejection. Not completely by any means, but it had at least taken the edge off. Perhaps she'd be wise to court the wolf prince, like Kaede suggested…
Kagome snorted. If I could get him to behave…
Sneaky boy had kissed her without warning, but because he was so subtle with it, he'd made it past all her barriers. And granted, his attention would at least help her to be more objective about her precious friendship with Inuyasha who meant more to her than…
Egh...
She cringed. There was that ache again. Like the hanyou's name was attached to the nerve endings in her heart.
She sighed. If she could succeed in distracting herself from him with someone else, then the purity of their relationship would be uncluttered by hurt and envy. And Inuyasha could go on loving Kikyo without having to deal with Kagome's strained feelings.
Yeah. Things would be so much simpler that way…
But there was one problem. Inuyasha's inexplicable, but undeniable jealousy. It made absolutely no sense. Was it because he particularly hated Kouga? Or was he just possessive of Kagome because she was the spitting image of his old girlfriend?
A soft patter perked her senses. It was muffled, like the sound of bare feet on packed dirt. She frowned, as it was followed by an audible 'thud' outside her window, and the brittle chinking sound of shifting roof tile.
What? Alarmed, she sat up in bed as…
…he stepped through her window.
"Inuyasha?"
He straightened, his wide dark frame silhouetted black against the moonlit window. He faced her, his shadowed form trembling with great guttural breaths. He made to step closer, and then froze, clenching his fists at his sides. His silent behavior was more than just ominous. It was downright unnerving.
"Inuyasha, what happened?" she asked, barely remembering to make it a whisper in time for her sleeping family's sake. "Is everyone okay? Did Naraku attack-"
"Keh!" Derisive. Rude. He flung an accusatory finger in her direction. "Don't pretend like you don't know why I'm here!"
She winced at the decibel of his voice, and then frowned confusion. "Eh?"
With a huff, he started pacing back and forth along her creaking floorboards, mumbling incoherencies like a drunken transient. He was so tense, she thought he might snap his own shoulder blades.
As a matter of fact, it looked like he was about to explode. She got up, not bothering to change out of her pajamas and put her shoes on.
"Where are you going?" he barked.
Egads, he was loud. She gripped the sleeve of his red shirt and tugged him towards the window after her. "We're going to the shrine."
"Why?"
"Because it has walls, and you seem to be incapable of whispering right now."
"What does that have to do-"
"The only reason my mother lets me go back to the feudal era is because she doesn't know how dangerous it is, and if you're up here barking about some great evil afoot, then I'll be grounded for sure!"
That seemed to silence him, and he followed stiffly, but obediently to the well. They hopped off the roof, and padded through the dirt to the old shrine. Once they were inside, she turned with her hands on her hips, and frowned up at him. "Now what's this all about?"
He got in her face, his golden eyes on fire. "You…!"
"Me?"
He began to pace again like a distraught phantom. "Of all the people to…" wheeze, pant, "I can't...believe you..." snarl, cough, huff.
She blinked. "What?"
He spun and faced her, the next words coming out in a yell. "YOU KISSED HIM KAGOME!"
She took a surprised step back. "Kouga?"
"GAH!" He swiped at the air and continued pacing.
"How did you-"
"I saw you...together," he cringed and closed his eyes. "By the well."
A part of her wanted to throw herself at him and tell him how sorry she was, and that she'd never do it again. But fortunately, that part was overshadowed by a much more righteous indignation.
"Oh. You mean like how I saw you and Kikyo those times?"
He paused, his wide eyes fixing on some random spot on the floor.
"Hmm. But then again, maybe not," she continued snidely. "After all, I didn't forego living just so I could commit my soul to eternal damnation out of undying love for the guy."
He stared mutely, as though he'd never drawn the parallel. As though it hadn't even crossed his mind.
She huffed and rolled her eyes. Could he really be that self-centered? Dim-witted?
When he spoke next, his voice was a little more cautious. "You...you can't compare."
She quirked a brow, and crossed her arms. Her foot began to tap steadily on the floor in growing aggravation.
"Don't look at me like that!" he barked, obviously more comfortable in his angry skin than his conflicted skin. "It's different. That filthy youkai scum is disgusting-"
"He's actually quite sweet to me."
"The bastard kidnapped you for your miko sight!"
"And you tried to cut me in half when we first met, but you don't see me holding that over your head, now, do you?"
His jaw dropped, clearly offended. "Kill you? Keh! I was trying to scare you, idiot! Believe me. If I'd been trying to kill you, you'd be dead."
She shrugged bitterly. "Whatever. Either way, I don't know why you would even care, since you're in love with Kikyo."
His eyes widened, but his expression was no less feral. "I am not!"
She sighed heavily. "Please. Spare me your "I-don't-care-about-anyone nonsense. You're as easy to read as a book."
He towered over her, his hands in fists. "Then you must be illiterate!"
She sighed heavily and tilted her head back to the ceiling in exasperation. "This is pointless. You're such a bonehead."
"And you're such a tramp!"
Her hand snaked out and cuffed him hard on the mouth before she'd even given it permission to do so. She knew his insults were usually empty, but damn. That one crossed the line. "How dare you," she seethed.
It knocked the piss and vinegar right out of him. He held a hand up to his stinging lips and took a step back. It couldn't have possibly hurt him, but the shimmering in his eyes made it look as though she'd just ripped his heart out.
"Tramp indeed," she trembled. "I went back for you, Inuyasha! Remember?"
He blinked, his brows lifting in...something. And she bludgeoned on, as though every word were her last.
"I went back knowing you'd chosen her - that she had your heart. And do you know why?"
He clenched his teeth and dropped his hand. The words seemed as difficult for him to hear as they were for her to say. But the dam had burst. They needed to be said.
"Because I care about you," she hissed, and turned away from him before continuing. "And I'd put up with the pain of your rejection ten times over if it meant that somehow, my being there has kept you safe and well."
Silence. Strained, uncomfortable silence. She couldn't see his reaction, which was fine. Kagome didn't know if she was ready for it.
"But then…" his voice hitched, and his next words little more than a whisper, "why did you kiss him?"
She rubbed the moisture from her eyes with the heels of her palms. Could this be any more difficult? "I have to get over you, Inuyasha," she breathed. "My jealousy is clouding my judgment, making me useless. I can't be a good friend to you if I'm constantly wanting something that you can't give me."
"Kagome…"
She shook her head bitterly, finding it so unfair that she had to be the one to bare her soul. "Save it. And let me date who I want, especially since it's indirectly for your sake, anyhow."
"You can't be with him-"
"Ugh! See, there you go again," she snapped, and spun on him. "Confusing the heck out of me by worrying over a relationship that we don't have. Acting like I'm your property when someone else already gave me my first kiss!"
His expression darkened. "Idiot," he said, "I was your first kiss."
She blinked. "What?"
His eyes widened, and he turned away, as though mentally thwacking himself for letting something slip out that he shouldn't have.
"What did you say?" she asked again, more than a little alarmed at his sudden mood change.
"Nothing."
She grabbed his elbow and made him face her. He startled and tried to take a step back. "Inuyashaaaa," she said in a threatening tone - the same one she used as a precursor to the 'Sit' command.
He shifted, a nervous glance flicking back at her face.
"If you don't tell me, I'll-"
"It was the spell! The…necromancer's spell." he yelled in his defense. Defense of what, she needed to figure out.
Her eyes narrowed, as she remembered coming to in Kaede's hut, having no memory of the night before but being dressed in little more than Inuyasha's red shirt. Suddenly, a vague apprehension made her body go cold. "What about it..."
He started to fidget unbearably, wincing everytime he looked up to see her staring at him. "It...it made you..."
"Made me what?"
His shoulders hunched, and the blood rose to his cheeks in a furious blush. He looked up sheepishly through silvered bangs. "You…attacked me, Kagome."
She blinked slowly. Attacked. There were a couple ways to interpret that, but by his expression, she doubted it had anything to do with a mindless flurry of punches and kicks. Which meant that...
Oh, Gods...
She brought a trembling hand to her mouth, barely stifling a shocked cry. He took an impulsive step towards her and she raised a hand to keep him at bay as her mind struggled to catch up, shooting him an incredulous glare.
"And you let me?"
"Well, I…" he looked down at his feet, and Kagome got the impression that if he'd had pockets, his hands would be hiding in them. "I stopped you," he mumbled, averting his eyes. "Eventually."
Her voice failed her, and she gawked at him in horrified shock. Miroku, yes. But Inuyasha? "You opportunistic, perverted bastard!"
She could have slapped him and had less effect. He choked and stepped back, his mouth fumbling clumsily over a hundred denials.
"What!" she cried, before he could compose himself, barely noticing the tears as they rolled down her cheeks, "Did you pretend I was her for a while before you finished toying with my body?"
He gasped as though she'd stabbed him. "It...it wasn't like that!"
"Because no one was around? No one would be the wiser? You could have your fantasy Kikyo-"
"I DIDN'T KNOW!" he screamed, and crossed the distance between them to wrap her up in his arms. "Gods, Kagome. I didn't know…"
She found herself smashed against his chest in a fierce hug, soiling his shirt with her tears. The embrace hurt her soul. Like it always did. Filling up the void that he'd caused, only to drain it again once he pushed her aside. She realized how much he messed with her mind - like Naraku messed with Sango's. Tantalizing her all the time with his affection when it was sorely misplaced.
"You know, it'd m-make my life easier, Inuyasha," she sobbed, sniffed, "if you'd just admit that the only reason you're
possessive of me…is because I remind you of Kikyo..."
He went from hugging her to grabbing her shoulders and shaking her forcefully. Through her blurred, jolting vision, she could have sworn she saw water standing in his eyes. "Stop saying her name! You couldn't be more wrong," he yelled, his fangs flashing in anger.
She inhaled a shuddering breath. "What do you know?" she shot back. "You're so confused, you don't know a live body from a clay replica!"
Clearly stung, he dropped her, and stepped back. That one hurt him, but he grimaced away the burn of it and snapped back with his usual flare. "There's no point in trying to talk with you. You don't listen to a word I say!"
"Only because you have a propensity for buying into your own bullshit!"
His eyes grew saucer-wide, and he began to stammer. "K…Kag…goommeeeee…!" His lips thinned and he chewed over unvoiced invective that frothed at the tip of his tongue. Kagome thought she could see the steam coming out of his ears, right then. But she was solid in her accusation. Egads, she'd been dealing with this for months now.
With a shakey exhale, he combed his oscillating claws through his thick hair and clasped them behind his neck. "You brat," he said, his voice still trembling. "There's so much I've been trying to tell you-"
She stomped her foot in the ground. "Then say it!"
He spat and swung his arm in a furious gesture. "What's the point if you're just going to tell me I'm lying?"
"It's called 'communicating'. COM-MUN-I-CATING. If you don't try it once in a while, you'll never get good at-"
She gasped as he suddenly materialized in front of her. Then, with no more warning than a glint in his eye, he grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her.
Hard.
It sucked the breath from her lungs and she yelped against his mouth, her mind completely scattering as his tongue lapped anxiously against hers. It was dizzying. Insane. Way more aggressive than anything she'd dreamed of…
Instinct fought the attack - after all, it was an attack - and where she'd just frozen with the wolf prince, Kagome fought with the hanyou. She pushed at him, squirmed, whimpered.
But instead of releasing her, he redoubled his efforts. With a frustrated growl, he curled one hand behind her head and dropped the other to cage her body against him, deepening the liplock with a frightening determination - as though he had something to prove.
And despite her conservative nature, it wasn't long before she felt herself go slack in his arms, responding to the frenzy of his kiss. It was beyond exhilarating, beyond exciting. She suddenly understood what the big deal was, and found herself matching his intensity. His eagerness.
The ardor unexpectedly gave her the odd, unprecedented urge to lie flat on her back.
And that scared her.
"In…Inu..mph!" she struggled against his mouth and bit his lower lip until he finally grunted discomfort and pulled back. She braced her arms against his chest to keep him there, peering up into his face. "Inuyasha!"
He panted down at her through heavy-lidded eyes. His cheeks were flushed crimson, and he tugged his bottom lip in between his teeth to nurse it from her bite. He wanted to continue. She could see it. Hell. She would have let him, but this was all too damn crazy.
"What…are you doing?" she breathed, achingly aware of the scant inch of heated space between them.
His chest rose and fell under her hands, and his eyes crinkled in…something. He moved his hand to rub his thumb lightly along her lips, and one corner of his mouth lifted. "I'm communicating."
She blinked. Huh? Now that he'd released her, her wits were able to gather, and she found herself under the same impression as before. That the only vested affection he had in her was by virtue of the fact that she wore Kikyo's face.
Was the hormonal attack supposed to prove otherwise? "I...I don't understand."
He frowned at her, and his shoulders sagged. He seemed disappointed. "Still?"
She shook her head lightly.
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. "Girl, you belong with me," he said, and then a darker expression crossed his face, and he sneered at the well. "That pampered youkai whelp will know that, now."
She stiffened. No confession of love. No differentiating between she and Kikyo. He hadn't even said Kagome's name. She hissed slowly and bowed her head, closing her eyes. How could I have let this happen?
"What…is it?" he asked, his voice wavering…unsure…nervous.
With a sudden burst of strength, she shoved him back, and he tripped, falling on his elbows. He stared up at her from his undignified spot on the ground in mute shock.
"So what am I now, a concubine?" she asked, feeling the residual passion dehydrate under the hot rays of a growing resentment.
"What?" His confusion took on a bitter edge, and the usual Inuyasha temperament reared its ugly head. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Is this some demented, territorial game you're playing with Kouga?"
"WHAT?"
"Thinking that the tree stump is automatically yours now because you urinated on it?"
He jumped to his feet. "You stubborn, thick-skulled little vixen! Are you isane?"
"No," she snapped, "But you are if you think I'm going to let you keep me on the back burner as a stand-in girlfriend for when Kikyo isn't around!"
He didn't breathe for about three seconds. Then as though he could no longer bear the sight of her, he spun around and leaned heavily against the well, hanging his head between his shoulders. When he spoke, his words were guttural...dripping with frustration. "You...are so...impossible..."
She gaped. I'M impossible? Acting on an infuriated impulse, Kagome marched up and shoved him over the edge, sending his happy ass back to the feudal era.
She hadn't anticipated that he would catch her wrist on the way down and yank her with him.