Author's Note: This is a gift to all my
wonderful readers that are unhappy that I have Vaughn with someone else in my
other fic. Hope this gets me back in
your good graces.
Feedback: Make my day – leave me a review.
Chapter Fifteen – Another Step Away
Happily for Sydney, the week passed quickly. She spent most of her time at work reviewing
reports and analyzing bits of intell.
She had been afraid she wouldn't be able to fake that kind of
stuff. But as it turned out, those
tasks came easily to her. She spent
several evenings with Jack, telling Francie that he was making a sincere effort
to improve their relationship. The
other evenings she spent with Francie.
She met with Vaughn twice. When
the weekend arrived, Sydney told Francie that she had another trip, and she
spent the weekend at CIA headquarters reviewing her history with Jack and
Vaughn, and working with Carson to try and retrieve memories.
When she was with Francie or Dixon, Sydney was careful to
avoid conversations that might lead to talking about past events. When she was with Vaughn, Sydney tried to
keep her focus on the missing pieces of her life. But that was becoming more difficult with each passing day.
She felt most comfortable when she was with Vaughn. And when she wasn't with him she was
thinking about him. She couldn't deny
that she was attracted to him. Had she
been attracted to him before? How could
she not? His amazing hazel colored
eyes. His sandy blond hair that he
always seemed to have a hand in. The
way the corners of his mouth moved into a soft smile and the way the blush
moved up his cheeks when she looked at him intently. The way he occasionally rested a hand on her arm. She believed that he was the sweetest man
she ever met, but considering that her oldest memories were only two weeks old,
that didn't say much.
Saturday night, they were working late in his office. They ordered sandwiches and salads and had
taken a break to eat. Since every
surface in his office was covered with papers and photographs, they made
themselves comfortable on the floor.
"I'm just so tired of my life!" Sydney exclaimed. She laughed a little when she heard how that
sounded. "Can we talk about something
else, please?"
He smiled that soft smile that she had become so fond of –
a combination of happiness and concern.
She wondered if he ever really smiled – ear to ear. She tried to picture what he would look
like.
"Sure," he said.
"What do you want to talk about?"
Sydney looked him over.
He seemed unusually relaxed tonight.
The constant look of concern seemed to vanish with his suit. He was wearing a plain, gold t-shirt, a pair
of faded jeans that just begged for attention, and a pair of beat up Reebok
running shoes. The gold shirt reflected
in his eyes, bringing out the golden flecks.
She inhaled deeply. He had the
sweet, clean smell of freshly laundered clothes.
"How about you?" Sydney suggested.
"Me?" he raised his eyebrows. "My life is not nearly as interesting as yours."
"Well, I'm thinking that a normal life would be a
refreshing change of pace," Sydney said as she slipped off her sandals.
"Did I say that my life was normal?" Vaughn countered with
a sly smile.
"Now, I'm really intrigued," Sydney said leaning
forward. "Not interesting, and not
normal… Start talking, Mr. Vaughn."
Vaughn grinned.
"What do you want to know?" As
he waited for her reply, he took her in.
She was becoming more like her old self, but she was still just a little
different. It seemed that the lack of a
personal history had liberated her – given her a new freedom to enjoy
life. She was absolutely glowing. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and
she wore very little make up… but with a natural glow like that, she didn't
need make up. She was wearing a white
shirt with three-quarter sleeves and brightly colored, horizontal stripes. Her navy Capri pants hugged every curve from
her waist to her calf. Looking at her
bare feet with her dainty, painted toenails, and simple silver toe ring, Vaughn
realized that he had never seen her that way before. He was overcome with a feeling of intimacy.
"Okay, start with why your life is not normal." Sydney changed positions so that she was
lying on her stomach with her legs stretched out and crossed at the
ankles. She bent her arms and rested he
chin on her palms. She looked very much
like a teenage girl at a sleep over playing 'Truth or Dare'.
"Well, lets just skip right over the multiple choice
questions and go straight for the essay, huh professor? No 'favorite subject in school'
question? No 'most influential person'
question?"
Sydney laughed.
"Well, we can start with those cocktail party subjects, if you like, but
I'll eventually get back around to asking the ones with substance," she said
with a wink.
Vaughn shook his head slightly as if he wasn't sure of
what he had just seen. He leaned back
against his office couch, pulled up his knees and spread them apart so that
when she looked at him her eyes had to travel up his legs, over his hips and
chest and finally to his face. Later he
would tell himself that he didn't consciously do that, but at the moment, he
was fully aware of what he was doing.
He picked up his can of Pepsi and took a drink wishing it
were a beer. "Why my life is not
normal, by Michael Vaughn," he said dramatically. He set his empty can down.
"Well, let's start with the obvious: nobody knows what I really do for a
living. I never know from one day to
the next if I will be sitting behind a desk or off a foreign country trying to
track down a terrorist armed only with a cell phone a sharp stick."
Sydney laughed again.
Vaughn continued, "I spend so much time at work that my own dog barks at
me like I'm a burglar." Vaughn frowned
trying to come up with more examples.
He held his hand out to Sydney like he was offering her dessert, "The
only things in my refrigerator are left over pizza, a two year old jar of
Miracle Whip, and a six pack. That's
not normal."
"You have a gift for hyperbole, I think," Sydney remarked.
Vaughn smiled, "Okay, then, the not so obvious: crazy Aunt
Trish with her past lives, aura readings, and premonitions." Vaughn paused,
thinking back, "There's my college roommate who grew marijuana in our bathtub
to pay his way through law school. And
let's not forget my first girlfriend, who after dating me for a year and a half
decided that she was a lesbian."
"Seriously?" Sydney exclaimed.
"Seriously," Vaughn said shaking his head
disgustedly. "And the thing that really
gets me is that she is living happily ever after while I'm still alone…"
Vaughn's voice trailed off as he realized how desperate that statement sounded.
They stared at each other. Finally, Vaughn said, "And then about 10 months ago, my life took
another serious step away from normal when a ragged-looking woman in a cherry
red wig showed up in my office." Vaughn
smiled slightly. Sydney didn't know
whether to blush or be insulted. She
pushed up and swung her legs around so that she was now sitting dangerously
close to him. Her bare feet were nested
inside his feet.
"Now, my whole world revolves around SD-6… Double agents…
Rambaldi… my father's death…"
When Vaughn mentioned his father's death, Sydney dropped
her eyes to the floor. After Sydney's
first hypnosis session, Jack told her that her mother killed many CIA agents,
including Vaughn's father. He also told
her that there was a possibility that her mother wasn't dead, and her hypnosis
seemed to validate that.
"And you…" he said softly. She looked up into his eyes.
His eyes locked with hers momentarily, then he closed his eyes, lowered
his head and shook it slowly. He
couldn't believe he was steering the conversation that way.
Sydney stared at him debating whether to ask the
question. Finally she spoke, "Vaughn,
is our relationship more than just agent-handler?"
Vaughn silently cursed himself for letting the
conversation go this direction. He kept
his eyes closed and spoke softly, "We're agent-handler, and we're friends. Nothing more than that."
"Oh," Sydney said, her voice thick with disappointment.
Vaughn quickly looked up at her. "Don't get me wrong, Syd."
Vaughn chose his next words carefully.
"The feelings are there. It's
just that as long as SD-6 is around – as long as it is a threat to you –
there's no way for us to move beyond our professional relationship."
Sydney quickly sat up.
She was kneeling in between Vaughn's legs. She reached out to him, touching his chest first. Vaughn closed his eyes again and took a deep
breath. Sydney moved her hands up to
his neck and followed the gentle slope of his shoulders down to his bare
arms. Her touch sent shivers through
his body. His pulse quickened. She walked her fingers over his biceps,
gently massaging them. His breath
became ragged as he tried to control his desire.
Sydney put a hand on the side of his face, "Look at me
Michael," she demanded softly. It was
the first time she called him by his first name. He opened his eyes. He
looked at her. He saw the desire in her
eyes, and he knew what she was planning.
His brain told him he had to stop her.
Common sense and logic warned that nothing good could come of it. But every other part of his body was
screaming for him to make first contact.
"Syd, I…" Vaughn's
protest was short lived. Sydney brought
her lips to his and kissed him. Vaughn
had never experienced a kiss like that before.
Everything that was the wonder of her was in her kiss. He didn't dare close his eyes for fear that
he might miss a millisecond of their union.
Vaughn put his hands on her hips. As they continued kissing, Sydney climbed
into his lap and straddled him. Her
hands roamed over his face, neck, and through his hair.
Sydney had never wanted anything with the intensity that
she wanted Vaughn right then. But as
much as she tried to ignore it, her conscious nagged her. It wasn't fair to him. It wasn't really fair to either of them, but
Sydney was content to live in this moment.
She wasn't sure that Vaughn could do the same.
Sydney pulled away from his kiss, but remained on his
lap. "Vaughn," she spoke breathlessly,
"I'm sorry, but… we just can't do this."
Vaughn's heart sank when she returned to addressing him by
his surname. He searched her eyes. He sighed heavily and nodded, "You're
right."
Sydney lingered a little bit longer on his lap. When she started to move away from him, he
pulled her back down. He had convinced
himself that he could not live if he didn't have her right then. In one smooth motion, Vaughn leaned forward,
laid her on her back, and lay down on top of her.
He looked at her one more time to make sure she wasn't
going to object, and then he kissed her.
After a few minutes, they started tugging at each other's clothes.
They were taken by surprise when Weiss walked into
Vaughn's office. Weiss was unable to
see them at first. "Mike? Why don't you and Sydney take a break,"
Weiss started looking around the office, "And let's all go to Murphy's for a…"
Weiss stopped abruptly when he saw them.
Vaughn had rolled off Sydney by that time, but he couldn't get his shirt
on fast enough.
"Whoa, Jesus!" Weiss exclaimed as he quickly turned
around. "Wrong office," Weiss said
apologetically as he walked out the door.
"Dammit!" Vaughn said. The interruption was enough to bring them both to their senses.