Konnichiwa Author-sans! Just to let you know, this story makes no sense
what's so ever. I would never make fun of the Final fantasy 8 characters;
this is only for laughs and not for offending them in any way. Every
chapter in this story will always be a different and funny scene. Oh and
this is a shounen ai chapter, the parings: IrvinexSquall
I hope you like my twisted chapter!
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Chapter One: The Posse
The doors of a club are shoved open and seven figures enter walking side by side. The seven figures seem to be a rough posse as they proceeded walking through the club in slow motion. All of a sudden a red headed woman trips over her own feet and slowly falls on her face. The six figures stopped moving at the red head's clumsy action and all uttered loudly "Quistis!" Quistis rose from the floor and cried, "My foot got stuck under the floor board!" "Yeah sure it did, did the pavement get stuck under your foot too? Or maybe the curb and that bicycle as well!" Seifer teased. Quistis looked to Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Selphie, and Zell who are all intently staring at her in confusion. Seifer shakes his head in abhorrence and slides his hands down in the pockets of his long white trench coat, "Well are we just all going to stand here or are we will be able to move again and get ourselves a few beers?" Seifer asked abruptly. Everyone stared at each other for a moment before they headed to the bar and sat down on the stools. "I'm thirsting for sugar!" Selphie said in an aroused tone of voice. Everyone conspicuously looked to Selphie, looking confused and a bit concerned of her sugar chugging problem. The bartender walked up to us all with a large cup of sugar in his right hand and asked, "What'll it be?" Selphie's eyes followed the cup whenever the tender had moved his right hand. As soon as the tender caught Selphie watching the cup full of sugar, he purposely moved his right hand up, down, and then left to right. Selphie's eyes had never left the cup. "Uh, Do you want this cup full of sugar?" The tender asked. Selphie replied with a nod gripping the cup from his hand and chugged the sugar down her throat. Everyone was astonished and speechless at Selphie. After a few moments of watching the sugar chugger, they all ordered they're drinks. Once they had got they're drinks everyone noticed that Selphie had got up and left after drinking the cup full of sugar.
All of a sudden everyone watches Selphie run across the floor in front of them, she is shaking and yelling," I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains." Over and over! Selphie continues to be on a happy sugar high as she runs back and forth across the floor yelling about how she loves trains repeated times. While Selphie runs near the stools of the bar where we all are, Squall turns himself around on the stool and stuck out his foot. Selphie trips over his foot and lands on the side of her body, her legs are still moving so she rotates around in a circle on the floor still yelling, "I love trains!" "That was getting on my nerves." Squall mumbled and turned back around on the stool. "Yo Squall that was pretty harsh! Don't you think we should help her?" Zell's tone of voice sounded very concerned. "Lets just let her roll around on the floor for a while, alright waddle boy?" Seifer teased since Zell despised any insult that involves a chicken. ".A penguin waddles, not a chicken." Zell murmured before falling into a stage of laughter, he outsmarted Seifer or so he thought. Seifer looked to Zell while cracking his knuckles, "You think you are so smart don't you?" Seifer said before standing up and walking over to Zell. "Now look who is the chicken wuss!" Zell said in a hoarse whisper from laughing so hard. "Think again." Seifer replied calmly before sending a hard punch to Zell's face knocking him off the stool and flipping over the bar counter. "Heh chicken wuss." Seifer uttered softly and walked with long steps out the door to smoke a cigarette.
Irvine watched all the people dancing and glanced to Squall, "Want to dance?" the sharpshooter said. Beads of sweat trickled down the sides of Squall's face as he remembered the time he had danced with Rinoa and had two left feet. "Uh maybe after a few drinks." Squall murmured looking for any excuse to escape this situation of dancing. A grin crossed Irvine's lips as he bought Squall a round of drinks and had got him drunk enough to agree on anything. Irvine asked again, "Do you want to dance, Squall?" The drunken Squall slurred out his words, "Shure!" Irvine and Squall walked off to the dance floor, meanwhile Rinoa became extremely jealous. Irvine's hips slid against Squall's as he moved seductively, Squall repeated the same movements. "Yoursh a good dancer, Irvine!" Slurred out Squall. "Your not so bad yourself, Squall." Irvine replied grinning mischievously loving his work he had done on Squall.
Steam blew out of Rinoa's ears as her watchful eyes stayed upon helpless Squall and Irvine. Rinoa began to trail over to the dance floor until Quistis halted her, "Where Are you going Rinoa?" Quistis curiously asked. "To save the love of my life!" Rinoa cried out and strived over to Irvine and Squall. As Rinoa walked away Quistis mumbled under her breath, "Miss mellow dramatic." Rinoa got behind Squall grabbing his arm turning him around so they are facing eachother. Rinoa began to dance with Squall flirtatiously or at least tried too. Squall did not even bother to dance with Rinoa he just put his right hand on her shoulder and pointed to his member with his left and said "Rinoa, you see this? It is not getting any bigger. Buzz off." Squall just smiled at Rinoa's somber expression. Rinoa then yelled at Squall, "Your eviler than Dr. Evil himself!" and with those sorrowful words Rinoa sped off to the ladies restroom to find the restroom door had suddenly closed when she had got to it and slammed against it with force. Rinoa then fell back against the floor with her legs raised in the air. Squall had watched Rinoa walk into the door with her own mellow dramatic stupidity and he then raised his pinky finger to the edge of his mouth and cackled evilly, "Mwahahaha. Mwahahaha. Mwahahaha!"
Squall turned around now realizing that Irvine has been watching the whole scene happen. Irvine just grinned and wrapped his arms around Squall's waist pulling him in and uttering softly in his ear, "Oh behave." Irvine and Squall once again started to dance until karaoke then started. Irvine looked to Squall, "I'm going up there to sing karaoke, is that alright Squall?" the sharpshooter asked. Squall nodded not realizing what Irvine is getting himself into.
Irvine stepped up on the stage with the karaoke machine and gripped the microphone; he chose to sing the Madonna hit, "Like a virgin" his eyes followed the words on the small screen that shows the lyrics of the song. Irvine began to sing, "I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you
I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new" The sharpshooter tilted his ebony cowboy hat down and moon walked down the stage. Squall laughed and then was pulled up on the stage by Irvine. Squall hesitated as his pale blue eyes gazed at the crowed watching them. Out of hesitation Squall pulled up his right leg gripping his ankle and began to thrust his leg backwards then forwards. Irvine raised a curious brow as he watched Squall's version of the chicken dance. Squall continued to do his little version of dancing until he fell off the stage, hitting his head.
***********
Next chapter- The return of Dr. Evil, ..MWAHAHAHA!
Yes that is right, I have lost it ^_^ The next chapter is Austin Powered theme! I am a big Austin power fan so I had to do that! If you take a moment to notice, everyone has pretty much hit they're head and became delusional into thinking they are all members of the Austin powers cult. Yes I have lost it, say it again!
**********
Chapter One: The Posse
The doors of a club are shoved open and seven figures enter walking side by side. The seven figures seem to be a rough posse as they proceeded walking through the club in slow motion. All of a sudden a red headed woman trips over her own feet and slowly falls on her face. The six figures stopped moving at the red head's clumsy action and all uttered loudly "Quistis!" Quistis rose from the floor and cried, "My foot got stuck under the floor board!" "Yeah sure it did, did the pavement get stuck under your foot too? Or maybe the curb and that bicycle as well!" Seifer teased. Quistis looked to Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Selphie, and Zell who are all intently staring at her in confusion. Seifer shakes his head in abhorrence and slides his hands down in the pockets of his long white trench coat, "Well are we just all going to stand here or are we will be able to move again and get ourselves a few beers?" Seifer asked abruptly. Everyone stared at each other for a moment before they headed to the bar and sat down on the stools. "I'm thirsting for sugar!" Selphie said in an aroused tone of voice. Everyone conspicuously looked to Selphie, looking confused and a bit concerned of her sugar chugging problem. The bartender walked up to us all with a large cup of sugar in his right hand and asked, "What'll it be?" Selphie's eyes followed the cup whenever the tender had moved his right hand. As soon as the tender caught Selphie watching the cup full of sugar, he purposely moved his right hand up, down, and then left to right. Selphie's eyes had never left the cup. "Uh, Do you want this cup full of sugar?" The tender asked. Selphie replied with a nod gripping the cup from his hand and chugged the sugar down her throat. Everyone was astonished and speechless at Selphie. After a few moments of watching the sugar chugger, they all ordered they're drinks. Once they had got they're drinks everyone noticed that Selphie had got up and left after drinking the cup full of sugar.
All of a sudden everyone watches Selphie run across the floor in front of them, she is shaking and yelling," I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains, I love trains." Over and over! Selphie continues to be on a happy sugar high as she runs back and forth across the floor yelling about how she loves trains repeated times. While Selphie runs near the stools of the bar where we all are, Squall turns himself around on the stool and stuck out his foot. Selphie trips over his foot and lands on the side of her body, her legs are still moving so she rotates around in a circle on the floor still yelling, "I love trains!" "That was getting on my nerves." Squall mumbled and turned back around on the stool. "Yo Squall that was pretty harsh! Don't you think we should help her?" Zell's tone of voice sounded very concerned. "Lets just let her roll around on the floor for a while, alright waddle boy?" Seifer teased since Zell despised any insult that involves a chicken. ".A penguin waddles, not a chicken." Zell murmured before falling into a stage of laughter, he outsmarted Seifer or so he thought. Seifer looked to Zell while cracking his knuckles, "You think you are so smart don't you?" Seifer said before standing up and walking over to Zell. "Now look who is the chicken wuss!" Zell said in a hoarse whisper from laughing so hard. "Think again." Seifer replied calmly before sending a hard punch to Zell's face knocking him off the stool and flipping over the bar counter. "Heh chicken wuss." Seifer uttered softly and walked with long steps out the door to smoke a cigarette.
Irvine watched all the people dancing and glanced to Squall, "Want to dance?" the sharpshooter said. Beads of sweat trickled down the sides of Squall's face as he remembered the time he had danced with Rinoa and had two left feet. "Uh maybe after a few drinks." Squall murmured looking for any excuse to escape this situation of dancing. A grin crossed Irvine's lips as he bought Squall a round of drinks and had got him drunk enough to agree on anything. Irvine asked again, "Do you want to dance, Squall?" The drunken Squall slurred out his words, "Shure!" Irvine and Squall walked off to the dance floor, meanwhile Rinoa became extremely jealous. Irvine's hips slid against Squall's as he moved seductively, Squall repeated the same movements. "Yoursh a good dancer, Irvine!" Slurred out Squall. "Your not so bad yourself, Squall." Irvine replied grinning mischievously loving his work he had done on Squall.
Steam blew out of Rinoa's ears as her watchful eyes stayed upon helpless Squall and Irvine. Rinoa began to trail over to the dance floor until Quistis halted her, "Where Are you going Rinoa?" Quistis curiously asked. "To save the love of my life!" Rinoa cried out and strived over to Irvine and Squall. As Rinoa walked away Quistis mumbled under her breath, "Miss mellow dramatic." Rinoa got behind Squall grabbing his arm turning him around so they are facing eachother. Rinoa began to dance with Squall flirtatiously or at least tried too. Squall did not even bother to dance with Rinoa he just put his right hand on her shoulder and pointed to his member with his left and said "Rinoa, you see this? It is not getting any bigger. Buzz off." Squall just smiled at Rinoa's somber expression. Rinoa then yelled at Squall, "Your eviler than Dr. Evil himself!" and with those sorrowful words Rinoa sped off to the ladies restroom to find the restroom door had suddenly closed when she had got to it and slammed against it with force. Rinoa then fell back against the floor with her legs raised in the air. Squall had watched Rinoa walk into the door with her own mellow dramatic stupidity and he then raised his pinky finger to the edge of his mouth and cackled evilly, "Mwahahaha. Mwahahaha. Mwahahaha!"
Squall turned around now realizing that Irvine has been watching the whole scene happen. Irvine just grinned and wrapped his arms around Squall's waist pulling him in and uttering softly in his ear, "Oh behave." Irvine and Squall once again started to dance until karaoke then started. Irvine looked to Squall, "I'm going up there to sing karaoke, is that alright Squall?" the sharpshooter asked. Squall nodded not realizing what Irvine is getting himself into.
Irvine stepped up on the stage with the karaoke machine and gripped the microphone; he chose to sing the Madonna hit, "Like a virgin" his eyes followed the words on the small screen that shows the lyrics of the song. Irvine began to sing, "I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was
Until I found you
I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new" The sharpshooter tilted his ebony cowboy hat down and moon walked down the stage. Squall laughed and then was pulled up on the stage by Irvine. Squall hesitated as his pale blue eyes gazed at the crowed watching them. Out of hesitation Squall pulled up his right leg gripping his ankle and began to thrust his leg backwards then forwards. Irvine raised a curious brow as he watched Squall's version of the chicken dance. Squall continued to do his little version of dancing until he fell off the stage, hitting his head.
***********
Next chapter- The return of Dr. Evil, ..MWAHAHAHA!
Yes that is right, I have lost it ^_^ The next chapter is Austin Powered theme! I am a big Austin power fan so I had to do that! If you take a moment to notice, everyone has pretty much hit they're head and became delusional into thinking they are all members of the Austin powers cult. Yes I have lost it, say it again!